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Bill Fishman

Bill Fishman & Affiliates o Be sensitive to "MEAPLE" o Avoid threats and accusations

11650 lberia Place San Olelo, Ca..'gilZg when you grab my arm" uork a lor bener rhan 'You had bener stop grabbing my arm."

This is the conclusion of a no pan discussion of communication skills by' columnist Bill Fishman. See the last issue for the first segment-ed.

Because meanings are in people, nu in words. you must carefully encode and decode your message when sending and receiving. Orient yourself to your receiver and talk their language.

Use ''l' ' statements rather than ' 'YOU." Phrases such as "l really am uncomfortable o Remember that criticism doesn't have to hun. o Avoid information overload r Be here now

Shaming the receiver. assigning blame and emphasizing the negati\e are definite paths to disaster. Before criticizine. make sure of what you want to say and how it should be said. Check your tone of voice and target the behavior you want changed. being as specific as possible. Be sure the behavior you want changed can be changed and if it can'r. then stop.

When making presenations or giving insrructions. be careful not to present an overwhelming amount of information in a short period of time. Use handouts. flip chars and overheads and allorv for audience interaction and particioation.

Put yourself into the moment and cast aside thoughts ofthat call you have to make. or the memo )ou have to write later on. Lack of focus. roving eyes or distant look make people feel as ifyou aren't listening and don't care.

. Be an active rather than a passire listener o Obsene r Aroid closed+nded quesions w.hen attempting to prompt dialogue

Don't second guess u hat sorneorc is s4 ing or pre-judge the content of his message. Ask queslions to clari$ uhat is beirE said and H back r,r'hat 1'ou hear to keep the florr going. i.e.. 'Are vou sal ing. ." "lt sounds like. ." "ln other r.rords. ." etc. Remember. uhen in doubt. check it out.

When vou are meeting someone for the first time. take a good look at their environment. Famill photos. painrings. rrophies. auards. diplomas etc. are a clue to personal background and a staning poinl for conversation and rapport building.

Questions that can be answercd *'ith a simple )es or no ans$er automaticallv put an end to thc conversation. It is especialll imporrant to

/Continued on next page) keep the flow going while problem solving, so be sure to ask questions that will elicit response. o Adopt an air of confidence o Be fiicndly and positive

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Stand or sit up tall. Be drrect in your commenl"s and when you do not know the answcr, bc honest. In a self-assured tone of voice, simply say that you don't know but you will find out. Then lrnd out and follow-up.

Peoplc respond well to the positive. Negative actions and vocal cues are a sure way to turn your listener off Whenever possible, call people by their first name. This will make them fcel as if you are truly interested in them. This is especially truc for the secretary who screens her bosscs calls. And. don't forget to smile, cven when you're on the phonel smiles can be heard.

. Pay attention to your outward imagc

You nerer have a second chancc to make a first impression. When you wear uncomfbrtable clothes, you come across as being uptight. so wearing a too-tight suit to that big sales meeting could be a big mistake. When you look good and feel good, it comes across to others and you prcsent a positive image.

People attempt interpersonal communication more than any other activity in their daily lives. some more effectively than others. Effective, peniuasive communicators are made (not born), as a result ofdedicated effort and practice. But. the benefit ofsuch effort will be rcadily apparent to the business person who uses his/her sophisticated communication skills to thcir utmost. lt is never too late to lmprove.

Thol's How lt Goes!

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