MESSAGE FROM THE
HEADMASTER A List Almost 30 Years in the Making
A
Boys need thick skins. They have to be able
S I read Adam Cox’s On Purpose Before
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Twenty, a small book reflecting his study
to accept being poked fun at and to laugh at
of boys and their needs as they develop,
themselves.
I came upon a long list of attributes he
▶▶
assigns to boys based on his research. I began to read his list, which he calls “What I Learned,” and then abruptly stopped, deciding on the spot to produce one of my own. I didn’t want to read further and risk copying any of his
Boys like clear rules and are comforted
when they know those rules are being enforced equitably and consistently. ▶▶
Boys are very sensitive to perceived unfairness
and are usually right when they call it out.
ideas. Still, to the extent that any of my list is
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similar to his, I give him full and unequivocal
views as long as they believe those beliefs are
credit for the inspiration.
genuinely held.
I offer these observations not as universal truths, but rather as just that — observations — gleaned from close to three decades of educating boys and young men. ▶▶
Boys have great respect for
their parents (often unvoiced), genuine gratitude for all they provide, and respect for what they have achieved. ▶▶
Boys are constantly measuring
themselves against others — friends, heroes, and, most of all, their fathers. ▶▶
Boys dismiss adults who
always tell them what they want to hear and respect those who
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“AS THEIR TEACHERS, WE WILL CONTINUE TO DO ALL WE CAN TO FOSTER OUR BOYS’ PERSONAL GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT, WHILE ALSO REMAINING KEENLY AWARE OF THEIR WANTS AND NEEDS.”
Boys want to feel the adults around them care
about them and their friends. More often than not, boys will stand up for a
victim against a bully.
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Boys appreciate being
challenged and hate to fail. ▶▶
Boys will do almost anything
to avoid being embarrassed. ▶▶
Boys fear disappointing their
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Boys are more likely to make their closest
lifelong friendships at Brunswick than in college or beyond. ▶▶
Boys have great pride in associating with people
and institutions they believe in. Brunswick is one of those institutions. This list could likely go on and on (I actually
parents more than almost
whittled mine down so that it would fit on this
anything else.
page), as boys are infinitely complex and so full
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Boys need occasional quiet-
time away from friends and family to regroup, refresh, and let their guard down. ▶▶
Boys actually worry, early on,
about what they will do as a career. They are deeply afraid of
of great potential. They have so much to offer the world — and so much to offer our school itself. As their teachers, we will continue to do all we can to foster our boys’ personal growth and development, while also remaining keenly aware of their wants and needs. We owe them at least that much as we pursue our mission of preparing them for life.
leading a life without purpose.
them the truth.
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Boys want to feel needed and crave being a
valued member of a group or a team.
do them the honor of telling
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Boys are surprisingly open to other people’s
And, specific to Brunswick: ▶▶
Boys will, more often than not, leave Brunswick
with the belief that at least one teacher, coach, or administrator changed their life.
Thomas W. Philip
WWW.BRUNSWICKSCHOOL .ORG
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