brunswickanarts
8 • Jan. 11, 2012 • Issue 16 • Volume 145
Hey writers, Munsch on this!
The truth about faking it The New Position Sarah Vannier Have you ever pretended to have an orgasm? If so, you’re not alone. Cha rlene Mueh len ha rd a nd Sheena Shippee, researchers at the University of Kansas, asked college students if they had ever pretended to have an orgasm. They found that a quarter of the men and half of the women had faked an orgasm at least once in their life. Does that sound like a lot of people? You probably aren’t surprised to hear that women can, and do, fake orgasms, but you might wonder how guys get away with being so sneaky. Men who fake often say they do things like pretending to ejaculate into a condom, or into their hand, and then running off to the bathroom to get rid of the evidence. Beyond a little sleight of hand, both men and women have all sorts of tricks up their sleeves. Muehlenhard and Shippee also asked the students in their sample exactly how they faked orgasm. The most common answers were that they acted as if they were having an orgasm (e.g., breathing heavier, moving faster, or grabbing partner), moaned louder, or told their partner they were about to have an orgasm. Women are more likely to take the breathing heavier and moaning
louder approach (oh, porn… what can’t you teach us?). Interestingly, a group of men reported that they just stopped having sex with their partner, and their partner assumed they had come. So, why do people fake? According Muehlenhard and Shippee the most common reason someone fakes is because they think that having an orgasm just isn’t going to happen. This might be because they’ve had too much to drink, because they don’t usually get off during that specific sexual activity, or because they didn’t think their partner would be able to get them off. Other common reasons include feeling tired or wanting to sleep, losing interest, thinking that their partner wouldn’t want to stop until they had an orgasm, not wanting to hurt a partner’s feelings, or making a partner feel good. The interesting thing about all of these reasons is that the boil down to one basic idea. We have a bad habit of thinking that good sex equals orgasm and that a good sex partner should be able to make you come. However, sex can still feel great when it doesn’t end with an orgasm, and things that have nothing to do with a partner’s skill can get in the way of having an orgasm (e.g., being tired, stressed, drunk, distracted, etc.). Why is faking not the best idea? Well, for one thing, whenever you pretend to have an orgasm you’re shutting down honest communication with your partner. And even
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worse, you could be reinforcing behaviour that you don’t actually like. You might be thinking, “what the hell are they doing down there? I better fake an orgasm to get this over with,” but the message your partner gets is “wow, my partner really loved it when I did that. I should do that more often.” Talk about a recipe for sexual disaster. Want to make sure your partner isn’t faking? Remember that sexual activity feels good even when it doesn’t lead to orgasm, and make sure you aren’t putting pressure on your partner to come. Don’t get me wrong, orgasms are great, and we all appreciate a partner who wants to figure out how to make you feel good, but be comfortable with the fact that sometimes your partner won’t have an orgasm (of course, if it never happens, then have a conversation with your partner about how the two of you can make it more likely for he or she to come). What can you do if you’re faking? First, remember that people often fake orgasms because they don’t want their partner to feel bad, and they don’t feel comfortable telling their partner that an orgasm is just not in the cards. Phooey on this! If you have a history of faking, practice saying things like “that feels good, but I’m just not going to come today.” When you don’t feel pressure to perform a certain way it’s much easier to enjoy sex, and ironically you’re probably more likely to have a real orgasm.
Madelon Kirov The Concordian (Concordia University) MONTREAL (CUP) — Yes, it can be frustrating, difficult, and extremely exhausting to cultivate a wonderful piece of writing. But despite the obstacles of writer’s block and trying to find widespread success, well-known author Robert Munsch encourages young writers to keep working at it — as he continues to do so himself. “I have over 200 unpublished stories that I am working on,” the eccentric and beloved author told The Concordian in an interview, as he shared details about his life in storytelling and offered young writers advice on the art of writing. Many have grown up reading Munsch’s short stories as children. Munsch, 66, is an American-born, now Canadian author who currently lives in the city of Guelph, Ont. A member of the Order of Canada since 1999, he has published over 47 children’s books, including The Paperbag Princess and Love You Forever, that have sold more than 18 million copies across North America. As an elementary student, Munsch almost failed Grades 1 to 5. In fact, he claims to have never learned how to spell properly and graduated from Grade 8 still counting on his fingers to do simple addition. He was generally “not a resounding academic success,” in his words. He began writing poetry in elementary school, which sparked his interest in literature. In high school, he did not get along with anybody and after seven years of studying to be a Jesuit priest, he decided that it was not his calling. On the topic of postsecondary education, Munsch said, “I liked university better than any other schooling. I think it was because I was interested in what I was learning and had finally taken responsibility for my education.” Every successful writer begins small. Munsch recalls how difficult it was to get
published. “I never have had an agent and I sent stories to nine different publishers before one said yes,” he said. In 2008, Munsch suffered a stroke that affected his speech, though over the years, he has slowly recovered and can now do public readings again. His writing career has, however, been put on hold until a full recovery. When asked what he believes is a writer’s greatest enemy, Munsch answered, “Trying to find an agent or publisher!” He added that the most important skill needed as a writer is perseverance and a willingness to accept criticism. But before getting to that point, writers need to start at square one. To write successfully, Munsch said to “write about something you love, something you feel strongly about or something you know about.” This makes all the difference in the delivery of the piece; the higher the interest level of the writer, the more effort, care, and love is put into the writing. When it comes to writer’s block, Munsch explained he makes up random unrelated stories on the spot from which more ideas expand, and often ends up finding inspiration in the original material. For those interested in children’s literature, Munsch shared some more of his insight on this specific target audience. “Kids are so new. They’re so openended. I can look at a kid and wonder what they’ll be,” he said. “The job of children is to be professionally appealing to adults. That’s how they get what they need.” Finally, when it comes to improving and maintaining a budding writer’s skills, Munsch provided wise and valuable feedback. “Keep on writing. Write a diary, write short stories. You don’t learn to swim by reading about it and you don’t learn to write that way either. If you want to learn how to write, write a lot and you will get better at it.”
Auntie Wendy’s spicy winter nuts The Garlic Press with Alex Kress
My Auntie Wendy has been cooking these festive nuts with a kick back home in Edmonton for years. My mom makes the recipe almost every Christmas and the nuts are always gone before the holidays are over. I’ve found myself craving them since Christmas and was happy to learn how easy they are to make. I’m a big fan of spicy food, but even for those who aren’t, these nuts only carry a small bite and you can tweak the cayenne pepper dosage to your desired hotness. These nuts aren’t exclusive to the holiday season, though, which is why I’m suggesting you make them for a January dinner party or even for a tasty snack to have around just because. They’re very filling, so you don’t need to eat a million of them (nuts provide “good” fat, but only in small doses, and keep in mind they are baked in a bit of butter), and they’re unique in taste. Give it a try!
Ingredients: 1 cup whole, unblanched almonds 1 cup pecans 1 cup cashews 1/8 tablespoon cayenne pepper (or to taste) 3 tablespoons butter, melted (or less, if desired) 3 tablespoons soy sauce
sassyradish / Flickr CC
The Recipe: Use one tablespoon of melted butter per cup of nuts or a little less; they just need to be coated. Bake at 325 degrees F on a baking sheet for 20 minutes stirring the nuts around occasionally to ensure evenness, but test them at the end of baking to make sure they’re baked through. After baking, add one tablespoon of soy sauce per cup of nuts and stir well. Add cayenne pepper to taste and let dry. Yum yum, spicy!