www.12stepgazette.com
January/February 2013
Page 11
“Rhyme & Reason”
“Katz Kommunicates”
We no longer have to crawl in pain from that old ball and chain that we know as our ego up in our brain. Throughout the recovery community, we talk a whole lot about humility and we understand the practice of it to be a central component in our recovery process. We also talk a whole lot about the importance of being in service to others, and this too is understood to be a critical element in sustaining our long-term recovery. Interesting, both practicing humility and being in service to others actually serve the same valuable function within our individual recovery processes - they both facilitate the escape from the confines of our ego-selves. Why would practicing humility, being in service to others and employing various other principles and tools that help us escape our ego-selves be so important to our recovery? Well, many pathways to recovery acknowledge “self-centeredness” as being the absolute core of the disease we seek recovery from. Self-centeredness finds its warm and righteous home in each and every one of our egos. Now, it is important to remember that ego is not a dirty word! The development of the ego is as much a part of the human experience as are living and breathing. Some of us, however, didn’t quite experience a healthy development of the ego. And some of us, therefore, did experience the struggle to actually look at and go beyond thinking only of ourselves. As a matter of fact, chances are that if you are reading this publication as a person in recovery, you too found the use of drugs and alcohol to be the, albeit problematic, magical solution to escaping the confines of self. It sure was painful being stuck up in there all alone! In recovery however, we learn how to live life in a manner that is not limited to the confines of our ego-selves. We learn that (gasp!) the world actually does NOT revolve around us, and we learn to define who we are and our life as a part of the larger whole. Practicing humility is the art of understanding that we are not the most important thing ever at all times to all people in all instances. We find serenity in knowing and accepting this as we realize our place in the bigger picture, the picture beyond the limitation of our ego-selves. And being in service to others allows us to think, behave, and act in a manner that benefits somebody else and the greater good rather than only our ego-selves. We find peace in understanding and realizing that being in service to somebody else and bettering the whole is more important than serving only our ego-selves. Ultimately, we slowly but surely learn how to look beyond the limited self-centered lens of the ego by practicing these and other principles and tools that force us to look beyond ourselves. And even better – we ultimately learn that this is in fact our true solution to escaping the ball and chain that kept us in pain for so long.
Filling The Void Many of us have heard about or experienced the ‘void’ described in addicts. Some may refer to it as a bottomless pit, an inner-gnawing, or just a constant feeling of dis-ease. Why we have this void or how we got it is interesting to discuss, but ultimately gets us nowhere. In our addiction we did all we could to fill this void with drugs. However while in recovery and on the spiritual path, we seek to fill this void in positive ways. Many of us used drugs because we could not cope with the emptiness inside of us. This is also what takes many of us out after being clean for a short time. When we first get clean and sometimes even after a long period of abstinence, this void can rear its ugly head again. This void is present and we have to acknowledge it if we are to fill it correctly. Before we know about our spiritual void, we may find ourselves acting out in ways we don’t like and that are not conducive to our recovery. Through excessive gambling, relationship hopping, binge eating or sleeping around, not properly filling our void can result in many destructive behaviors. Just because we get clean does not mean we become saints - however, if we want the blessings recovery has to offer, we must be aware when we start to act out on our void. Some may argue that a little gambling or sex never hurt anybody- they might be right if they were talking to a non-addict. With us, however, our obsessive, compulsive and self-centered nature can devour us in many ways if we allow it. We need to remember we are dancing with the devil when we play with our disease. If we give the disease an inch it will take a mile and more. Eventually, our void isn’t filled by the poor substitutes we feed it and it wants drugs. It’s before that happens that we need to begin to seek solutions. A void implies that something is missing; something that needs to be filled. Our internal void is natural and felt by most addicts at some point in recovery. Contrary to our old beliefs, it can be filled. The most basic answer to what naturally belongs in this void is spirituality. One can describe it as positivity, love, friendship, fellowship, God, goodness or simply, recovery. The application of spiritual principles are how we fill it, specifically. We can practice principles by being in service, helping another addict, or just showing up for a friend or family member. The spiritual void we have within us is an integrated part of our addiction and must be acknowledged in our first step. In step two we come to believe that a power greater than ourselves can fill this void. The steps are ultimately what fill our seemingly bottomless void. Recovery and a spiritual way of life is a choice for addicts - those who choose it are blessed by rewards.
By Brooke Feldman
Email: 12stepgazette@comcast.net
A Column By Brad K.
Phone: 215-317-8774
Website: www.12stepgazette.com