a ll D R e SS e D U P…

Although I realise I may be in a minority of one, I spend as little time as possible looking at bike webzines because I believe that way madness lies. Or at least stronger reading glasses and a gradual, insidious addiction to the online ‘life’ that’s killing print media. And by the way, almost no one is making any money from motorcycle webzines, and probably never will.

However, for reasons best known to my shrink, I found myself looking at an online review of BMW’s R1250GSA, which was but the latest of an apparently endless slew of new models the Bavarian company is pumping out these days. But apart from that extraordinary industriousness what impressed, or rather dismayed me, most about the R1250GSA was the way it looked.

Now time was when the aesthetics of motorcycle design were very much about the engines. Look at a pre-unit Triumph, a Royal Enfield Interceptor, BSA single, or for that matter a Kawasaki triple, air-cooled Honda four, Laverda twin, a Ducati anything or until recently any post-war BM. They were and remain engineering as art and were proudly exposed as such, which in some cases was just as well, eg the pre-unit Triumph, because ready access was often needed to mend them when they were out on the road.

Nowadays, thanks to modern CAD design and robotic manufacturing techniques, most all contemporary motorcycle motors are fiendishly reliable and don’t need regular spannering by their owner-riders. Which is probably just as well as most ownerriders wouldn’t have the faintest clue how to go about it anyway. But even though manufacturers now build such reliable and pretty durable engines, they also must append them with all manner of plumbing and electronic gubbins – that’s a highly technical term for ‘extraneous eyesores’ – to comply with emissions and safety legislation. And so, whether out of embarrassment or genuine desire to forge new directions in automotive design (ho-ho-ho), many of them now shield or divert one’s gaze away from the engines with all manner of unnecessary appurtenances. And so the R1250GSA is covered in bodywork, and ugly bodywork at that, which seems to have little or no relevance to the traditional high-end schtick that made BMW famous – other of course than to hide what it needs to hide.

Covering up the mechanicals has of course long been the case with repli-racers and supersports models which rely on full fairings for their aesthetic appeal if not their aerodynamic efficiency. But these days, so-called ‘Nakeds’, ‘Retros’ and ‘Adventure Trailbikes’ are all the rage and rather than being stripped down to their basics as would seem to make sense, extra bodywork and cowling is being stuck on to hide the plumbing. Look at KTM’s 890 Adventure or Triumph’s Tiger 1200 for examples of the faux trailies, or Yamaha’s MT range and Ducati’s Scramblers for nakeds-that-aren’t.

Not that long ago I spent a fortnight with Kawasaki’s new-ish Z900RS, retro ‘naked’ inspired by the legendary Z900 which gave Honda’s CB750 a right bashing back in the early ‘70s. No longer air-cooled of course and blessed with monoshock and USD suspensions, at a cursory glance the new machine has a very passable resemblance to the original. But when you look more closely and indeed spend time with it, you realise that it’s not only a very complicated bit of kit, but Kawasaki have gone to some lengths to disguise or hide some of the so-called essentials.

Making sure that most of the injection and emissions pipework is painted satin black is part of this, and hiding as much of it as possible behind the radiator is another, but the side panels are deceptively large and can only be removed to reveal the maze of electronics behind them by unlocking and removing the seat and undoing bolts. (And there isn’t even a centre stand because the catalytic convertor makes it unviable.)

Still, the Z900 is more naked than others of its ilk and was certainly a damn fine bike to ride, and from the online ‘reviews’ that’s also rather true of the R1250GSA… But will its looks appeal to BMW’s loyal, gentleman sport-rider market, especially at some £20k-plus with all the bells and whistles?

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