232
EXPAT
GUIDE
cellular phones are the dominant means of communication. ZED IS FOR ZAMBIA AND ZAMGLISH: Zed is the nickname for Zambia and there are many local idiosyncrasies waiting to be discovered. Pipo = People. Sleepers = slippers and Railway sleepers = slippers. Sku = school. Braii = Braai (BBQ). L’s and R’s are interchanged, so your gardener may ask for groves and a lake. Forget 2 o’ clock. In Zambia, it is 2 hours or 14 hours. A roof tile manufacturer has ads all over the show and someone there had made up sayings that compare not using their product to other disasters. They are amusing in a baffling way as most make no sense at all. It’s not only you. Another sport you can play is to spot the spelling mistakes. They appear anywhere. On crude hand painted signs, professional sign writing and printed ads. Some are hilarious as they change the intent and others are phonetic. It’s a pastime for when the traffic is slow. Smart Phones. These are a way to connect in numerous ways. Facebook is probably the most popular of the social media platform with many businesses preferring a page to a formal website. For the Expat, there are numerous pages to join to get advice and often a simple search of the page will yield results. Your query is unlikely to be the first. Most sports and informal groups have a presence and you can find out about your specific interests on them. Alternate news pages that differ from the mainstream media exist in cyberspace with FB pages and their own websites. When an issue goes viral, there is often a racial element to it, but unlike most places, racism is called out no matter who the perpetrator is. When an expat or visitor exhibits a public white saviour complex, then all Zed residents attack from across all available platforms. See #LintonLies which raced to the top of the hashtag listings for days in the region. Zambians are rapidly embracing applications such a mobile money that allows consumers to pay for all utilities, TV, airtime and data, with additional suppliers being added regularly. These applica-
tions make it easier to do business in unbanked rural Zambia. Apps that arrange home delivery of food seamlessly from numerous restaurants have sprung up and are working well for both consumer and restaurant. SERVICES: Most services are available in the Capital. After a month or two, the expat will suddenly realise that they need a hairdresser. They then ask in a panic: Is there someone who can cut my (straight) hair? The answer is that every single salon in the shopping centres and those professionally set up in independent premises can cater for all types of hair. Straight-haired people have been in Zambia for centuries. Where more specialist hair care is needed, there will still be numerous favourites. Pet care, veterinary services, pest control, child care, couriers, car hire… It is just a matter of finding the one that suits your expectations and budget. BUY ZAMBIA: Many Zambian products stand head and shoulders above the imported, known, brands. The Green Tomato Chutney does not grab ones attention on the shelf, but once visitors have tasted it, they smuggle bottles home. Do yourself a favour and try some. The local washing powder, dish wash and soap bars really work well, they will blow your dirty socks off. Fizzy Ginger beer, apple and fruit crushes have their converts. Try the international deep fried chicken, the peri-peri franchises and the others that are familiar. Then watch for Thursday and get a bucket of Zambia’s own chicken on special. You don’t have to be hungry to get hooked on the size, taste and value. Local popcorn and crisps are delicious. If you like the mass produced beers and lagers, then Zambia has its own label that is refreshing and thirst quenching. There is no need to hold onto your SA beer label. Imported ground coffee is obsolete, Zambia’s product is exceptional. You have taken the plunge into the real Africa, live dangerously and pick the product with the odd looking packaging.