The Pulse 9.35 » Aug. 30-Sept. 5, 2012

Aug. 30, 2012

Vol. 9 • No. 35

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

Mary, Quite Contrary

The Pulse Interview: Democratic candidate for Congress Dr. Mary Headrick

THE BOWL FLAG FIGHT MUSIC THE DIGITAL revolution arts urban design

Books. Lots of books. And more.

We buy, sell and trade.

Used Books, CDs, Movies, & More

7734 Lee Highway • McKayBooks.com Monday-Saturday 9am-10pm • Sunday 11am-7pm 2 • The Pulse • AUG. 30-sept. 5, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

HIGHLIGHTS

THE PULSE •AUG. 30-SEPT. 5, 2012 • vol. 9 •no. 35

COVER STORY

DR. MARY HEADRICK

• In The Pulse Interview, the Democratic candidate for the 3rd District congressional seat talks about why she’s running. » 6 On the cover: Dr. Mary Headrick photographed by Kim Hunter for The Pulse

Since 2003

ADVERTISING Advertising Director Mike Baskin Account Executive Rick Leavell

CONTACT

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative chattanoogapulse.com

Since 2003

EDITORIAL

Publisher Zachary Cooper Creative Director Bill Ramsey Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny Chuck Crowder • John DeVore • Janis Hashe Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative Matt Jones • Chris Kelly • D.E. Langley Mike McJunkin • David Morton • Patrick Noland Ernie Paik • Cole Rose • Alex Teach Richard Winham Cartoonists Max Cannon • Richard Rice Tom Tomorrow Photography Jason Dunn • Josh Lang Intern Junnie Kwon • Erin McFarland

Since 2003

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Email info@chattanoogapulse.com calendar@chattanoogapulse.com Got a stamp?

1305 Carter St. • Chattanooga, TN 37402

the fine print

The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news.

The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. © 2012 Brewer Media

BREWER MEDIA GROUP President Jim Brewer II

chattanoogapulse.com • AUG. 30-sept. 5, 2012 • The Pulse • 3

0 0 .

5 $ S Y FrIDA

BOWL

THE N O I T I PROHIB

S L I A T K COC ENJOY COOL COCKTAILS

ON ThE PATIO

TALK OF THE NOOG chattanoogapulse.com • facebook/chattanoogapulsE SEND LETTERS TO: INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

CHATTAFLAG

Ugly flag would fly blandly over city when news emerged last week that the mayor’s office had proposed updating the city’s flag, our first question was, “What flag?” Our second, upon viewing the proposed redesign was, “You must be kidding?”

Admittedly, the version we first viewed online was a screenshot taken from local TV station WRCB, but the city’s current flag (which is widely unknown, even though it’s been in existence since the 1920s) is far superior to the proposed redesign, which looks like the colors of a third-world nation or a recently independent British colony.

Worse than that, the redesign is not, according to Mayor Ron Littlefield, up for

bREAkFASt on

SAtuRdAyS

The horrid “new” flag, designed by former City Councilman David Crockett.

Chattanooga’s current city flag is elegant and tasteful.

discussion and should be rushed to city council for a vote (which it was on Tuesday).

“The more you talk about it, the more divisive and controversial it becomes,” he said in the Times Free Press on Friday.

At least one council member agrees, but the process—as Chuck Crowder points out in his “Life in the Noog” column (Page 22)—should not only be open to debate,

but the subject of a design competition.

The new flag was designed by former City Councilman David Crockett, who told the TFP, “I’ve been trying to get this thing done for 15 years.”

Really? So why is the flag so widely unknown? And what’s the rush? Let’s face it, government officials and employees are historically unqualified to act as tastemakers. Littlefield’s reasoning makes little sense, nor does his assertion that the current flag too closely resembles the state flag, unless we plan to secede.

This is just the sort of opportunity that should be open to Chattanooga’s talented design community. To simply rush through a bland flag with the city seal stamped on it because it was the pet project of a former council member is not only wrong, but also makes Chattanooga seem to be the banana republic this flag represents with Littlefield as its dictator.

—The Editors

grapes of chatt

bRuncH on SundAy!

nEW HouRS!

mon-FRi: 11Am-10Pm SAtuRdAy: 8Am-10Pm SundAy: 11Am-10Pm

BBLACKSmITh’S B ISTrO

Ar

3914 St. Elmo AVE. (423) 702-5461

Find uS on FAcEbook blacksmithstelmo.com 4 • The Pulse • AUG. 30-sept. 5, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Wine to the North, wine to the South with the opening of brix nouveau, a new wine and cheese bar located at 301 Cherokee Blvd. on the North Shore, downtown Chattanooga is bordered by wine stores (including Vine at Greenlife) on both sides of the city. Earlier this summer, DeBarge Vineyards & Winery opened at 1617 Rossville Ave. on the Southside as the city’s first urban winery. DeBarge brings grapes from the West Coast and its own vineyard to town and ferments them onsite in Chattanooga to be sold at the winery under their own label. —Staff

On the Beat

alex teach

Teach’s Travel Tips i started this job being a cop in a city that prides itself on tourism. It was always a sticking point with me because I was actually never sure just what that meant.

southern lit

New literary journal beckons writers readers, writers and poets from Nashville to Knoxville, Memphis to Chattanooga now have a new literary journal to read—and it’s seeking submissions.

Nashville-based 2nd & Church is the latest in a long line of publications across the country using print-on-demand technology to do what has traditionally been possible for only the large media outfits.

“This is definitely guerrilla warfare publishing,” said Roy Burkhead, editor-inchief and publisher of 2nd & Church and founder of The Writer’s Loft, MTSU’s nonresidency certificate in creative writing.

“We’re comprised of creative and technical professionals who are trying to create a literary journal by, for, and about writers and readers throughout Tennessee,” Burkhead said. “Our goal is to be inclusive of many different types of writers and writing.”

According to Burkhead, copies of each issue can be found in select bookstores such as Winder Binder on Frazier Avenue in Chattanooga, as well as libraries across the state.

Copies of the journal’s second issue may be purchased online via the journal’s Web site, and readers may download a free digital copy from the site.

“The core message I am especially interested in is brief news and feature stories that reveal the creative writing life of America’s communities, as well as follow developments in local publishing,” Burkhead said of his criteria for submissions.

For more information, visit 2ndandchurch.com.

—Staff

At the time, Chattanooga was lacking the hell out of some industry (also known as “jobs”).

Twenty years earlier the federal government said, “WHOA! Enough with jetting columns of death into the sky,” because apparently even Alabama was getting pissed at our anti-green behavior.

And instead of attracting more (or at least different) industries, the city kind of closed up shop and replaced those jobs with such exotic enticements for tourists as “a train,” “a river” (with no riverfront access), and “malls” for people to see when they come to read the largish silver signs strategically placed throughout our county that tell us we have “history.” What was it people were coming here to “tour?” Ugh. (Note: That bashing was from the perspective of a new, young cop, and that was the logic I saw in the city having no other explanation for having only minimum-wage jobs to offer. Now? That riverfront, that downtown, and those industries? It’s not the same city as it was when I started and this is nothing short of amazing to me. So put those guns down, Mr. Chamber of Commerce.)

That said, I’m familiar with tourism locally and travel in general. It was actually in my DNA, having grown up as a military brat born on one side of the country, raised on the other, then brought back again a few times,

and seeing both oceans, the deserts, fields and forests between.

Moving around as a kid killed any desire or need to do much travel on the rare Cop Vacation, but I still did on occasion, and the similarity between towns still amuses me to this day. And by that, I mean the bad parts—not the touristy ones.

I don’t need to suggest destinations and what to do there, but how about the information you don’t get in most travel packets? Allow me a few brief points.

During a long drive, regardless of the P.S.I. of your bladder, you should always be wary of your choice of convenience stores. Any time the sign indicating acceptance of “E.B.T. cards” is larger than all other advertisements, be aware that your odds of being robbed at gunpoint and/or getting stabbed has just increased by roughly 60 percent or more. I’m not saying that you will get robbed or stabbed; I’m just saying that statistics foretell a more likely upsetting outcome to your stop.

A secondary sign of this is the on-site production of deep-fried food,

specifically tater logs and chicken. No matter how delicious, your situational awareness should be greatly elevated.

And to make matters worse? Seedier gas stations often don’t even have a public rest room since they are more trouble to the disgruntled and bullet-scar-riddled owners than they are worth, often just becoming mini motel rooms to the people indigenous to the area.

State-run rest stops, however, have generally changed across the country (with the obvious exception of Mississippi, wherein nothing changes—ever).

Apparently, governors everywhere realized the stops had become nothing more than fortified “rape holes,” and they got serious about cleaning those joints up. Now they are staffed and patrolled by listless employees on the government dole, and the odds of previously mentioned robberies and stabbings have greatly diminished. (See? I’m not all doom and gloom.)

Travel. Like guns and intolerance, it is part of the signature of this country, but it does not suffer fools lightly. Enjoy the freedom of movement, but do not try its patience.

Alex Teach is a fulltime police officer of nearly 20 years experience.

The opinions expressed are his own. Follow him on Facebook at facebook. com/alex.teach. chattanoogapulse.com • AUG. 30-sept. 5, 2012 • The Pulse • 5

THE PULSE INTERVIEW

Dr. Mary Headrick If you read the news the morning after the Aug. 2 primary elections for Tennessee’s 3rd Congressional District, you might have never known a Democrat was running for that office.

But Mary Headrick emerged victorious against competitor Bill Taylor—and she’s serious about her candidacy in a district that hasn’t been served by a Democrat in 18 years. interview by bill r amsey

photo by kim hunter for the pulse First of all, congratulations!

Let’s start with the primary elections on Aug. 2. We were somewhat surprised that not only did you win the Democratic primary for the 3rd Congressional District, but you won by a commanding 2-1 margin over competitor Bill Taylor. Neither one of you appeared to have much money to spend on advertising, but Taylor seemed to have been more visible. On a ballot that included a fringe candidate for Senate (the disavowed Democratic candidate Mark Clayton), was it surprising to you and to what do you attribute that support?

I entered election night happy because I liked Bill Taylor, his positions, intellect and integrity, and knew I would help him if he won. I expected our vote totals to be very close and was surprised by my margin of victory. I think I won because I made more voter contacts than Bill, and “H” comes before “T’ for those who voted alphabetically and didn’t know us. Some voted for me because I am a woman, but I distinguished myself as a Progressive Democrat rather than Bill’s Yellow Dog or Moderate Southern Democrat. I think that gained me some votes.

What was also surprising to us was the lack of coverage of your win in the daily paper. On the day after the election, one would have thought there were no Democratic candidates for

Congress. We saw your name only in the last sentence of the front-page story heralding Chuck Fleischmann’s victory over the other Republican candidates. Were you insulted?

I was not insulted, but I am very frustrated by media bias in favor of the Republicans. Media bias cheats the public. My uphill challenge is to engage the voter with factual information, to synthesize complex issues for voters in a way that gets past the anger and sound bites. Too many voters are polarized by wedge issues.

On the plus side, the TFP’s left-leaning Times-side editorial ranked Democrats above the Republican candidates. They wrote: “The irony of the lopsided focus is lamentable. Headrick and Taylor both stand head and shoulders above the GOP contenders in the range, quality and insight of their thinking on the issues that most affect the overwhelming majority of Tennessee voters and families.”

Does the local media matter in the sense that their endorsements affect voters one way or the other?

I did not have much print nor TV media coverage. I think everyone should listen carefully to Harry Austin. Bill, not me, was endorsed by the Knoxville News Sentinel, so the weight of print media endorsements in the primaries seems minimal. I suspect it will be the same in the general

6 • The Pulse • AUG. 30-sept. 5, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

election.

In your view, what is the biggest issue facing the 3rd District and what do you intend to do about it?

Money currently buys laws, regulations, budgets and enforcement via campaign donations, lobbyists and large public relations firms. This benefits the pocket books of large, often multi-national corporations, and

wealthy individuals. Therefore, the middle class, the underrepresented, is disappearing, falling into the low-income class. Jobs are going overseas. Water, air and soil are threatened. Public education is under attack. “Labor” is being crushed by “Capital.” I will help voters understand when their interests are being attacked.

I’ll work hard with all officials who hold the interest of the

people at heart. Our economic system is rigged to help the rich get richer and destroy the security and happiness of the average American.

Your fundraising efforts— and those of your fellow Democrats—pale in comparison to your Republican opponents.

Can you win without “big money” and how?

Over 40 years ago, I began my civic activism using a mimeograph machine and phone trees. I hope I can win without big money for TV ads. I cannot be bought. I hope the in-kind, hard work of supporters will overcome the moneybags of my opponent.

Tennessee Democrats have been marginalized and all but shut out in the years since Marilyn Lloyd retired her congressional seat in 1995 after 20 years in office. The so-called Red Tide began with the Newt Gingrich’s “Republican Revolution” in 1994 and has continued ever since. The 2010 midterm elections were specifically painful for Democrats, losing the House and barely holding on to a majority in the Senate.

What went wrong?

I think sound bites and wedge issues, together with racial prejudice led the 2010 defeats. David Koch very effectively funded and began the Tea Party. Newt Gingrich very effectively seized the evangelist religious voters.

Democrats have been disorganized. The average voter has been misled by PR campaigns.

For example, why was the sugar drink tax to help fund the Afford-

able Care Act abandoned? Those drinks cause much of the obesity that increases health care costs. It makes no sense to fund ACA with a real estate transfer tax on sales over $250,000.

Tell us a bit about yourself beyond what your website and talking points reveals. From all we’ve read, you are a successful doctor and might otherwise be enjoying the later years of your life. What gives? Have you always been interested in politics and why did you decide to run for office now?

I have always loved children, my family, my patients. I have always loved our democracy. I don’t have a greedy bone in my body. I am not hungry for power. However, I have been losing sleep for years worrying about the threats to our children, their families, our democracy and our rule of law. Newt Gingrich’s religious right threatened my religious freedom. Osama Bin Laden’s alQuaeda still threatens our lives and society. President Bush endangered us by declaring war in Iraq. Leaders endanger us by ignoring science and climate change, by allowing big banks and the financial sector to steal our pension funds, jobs and assets, including our homes and by failing to tax fairly and budget well. Drug abuse threatens our communities.

I feel I personally am at a stage in my life where I can make a political difference. If not now, then when? If not me, then who?

Frankly, if I had known Bill Taylor in December 2011, as I do now, I would have worked for him and let him do it. We need change and we are running out of time.

With respect to the past, I worked for the so-called motorvoter law, for health care affordability and for clean water, air and soil, among other issues.

However, my family and careers did not leave much free time in the past. I have always had the passion for good government and a just, fair society. Now I have more time for that.

Our first Lightning Round deals with technology, so quickly now: • iPhone or Android? Huh? I just got a flip phone!

• Mac or PC? PC.

• The better genius: Steve Jobs or Bill Gates? I need a third choice. I am mad at both of them.

Jobs for sending jobs overseas; Gates for threatening public education and competitors.

The 3rd District has been realigned due to redistricting and now cuts a wide swath of Eastern Tennessee from Chattanooga to Oak Ridge. That’s quite a territory to represent, but the district has been historically centered in Chattanooga.

Do you see any differences in voters from, say, Athens, and smaller areas than larger cities such as Chattanooga?

Good grief, yes! Differences include broadband connectivity, Internet use, well water, septic or sewer, gardens and cooking, parking, roads, public and private education, formal education, dress code, cell reception, transportation options, total miles to travel, job availability, TV reception (cable, satellite, free airwaves), hobbies, magazines, crimes, their pets, insects and other critters. They are, however, alike in dedication to religion and family, in feeling time-pressured, in disgust of the D.C. partisan tug-of-war.

As a physician, we figure you’re qualified to comment on Obamacare, aka the Affordable Care Act. What’s your verdict?

Half a loaf is better than no loaf at all. Obamacare is a huge leap forward with respect to insurance reform. Just eliminating the exclusion for pre-existing illness, outlawing premium charges based on disease risk and declaring insurance companies must spend 80 percent or more on the patient are huge gains. We have endured too many health insurance abuses. ACA still needs the public option or should move to a single-payer system. Otherwise the for-profit insurance companies and providers will just keep running up the price tag. The Independent Payment Advisory Board should not have the authority to implement cost controls. It should evaluate care efficacy and cost and make recommendations. We elect officials to determine the budgets. I wish the insurance companies in the exchanges were nonprofit.

“

I will help voters understand when their interests are being attacked. I’ll work hard with all officials who hold the interest of the people at heart.

Our economic system is rigged to help the rich get richer and destroy the security and happiness of the average American.

Assuming you win, freshman members of Congress typically spend the first year acclimating themselves to the dizzying environment of Washington. It’s expensive and the demands on your time are extreme. Do you think it’s unfair that representatives only have two years to prove themselves?

Yes. Probably three- to fouryear terms would be more effective.

We’ve read you’re into carpentry. What’s the most ambitious project you’ve attempted?

I am in the process of building a set of stairs up a 200-foot cliff. I paddle boat supplies to the bottom area. I divide 80-pound concrete bags into thirds and, at times, rappel them up the cliff along with the lumber and other tools. We built most of our home.

My trim work for the windows was challenging.

Our next Lightning Round explores music, movies and books: • Your favorite song—ever— is: Paul Simon’s “One Trick Pony”or The Beatles “Hey Jude.”

• The last movie I saw was: “The Hunger Games.”

• The last book I read was: “The Price of Inequality” by Joseph Stiglitz.

It’s no secret that The Pulse

is a liberal-leaning, progressive paper and not-so-subliminally pro Obama. On a national level, what is your long view of how the president has performed?

President Obama is a very smart fellow with great speaking skills. The more I think about the way he created stimulus (for example, the 4.2 percent employee payroll tax) and ACA plus Medicare revenue (a progressive Medicare payroll tax), the more impressed I am with his problem solving in the face of “Just Say No” opposition. However, Mr. Obama’s listening to Geithner and Summers in the bank bailout and the generals in advising ramp up in Afghanistan are, in my opinion, big mistakes. He is doing a good job in the midst of a societal divide, recession and bigotry.

Mitt Romney, in our view, is a self-absorbed, wealthy businessman with an inferiority complex who simply “wants” to be the president. In our view, merely wanting to be the president is not enough. So, he “hires” Paul Ryan to add some far-right substance to his ticket. But in the advanced, yet nominal, democracy we live in, he could very well be elected. In the post-Bush years, nothing surprises or scares us. Does a President Romney send chills through your veins?

A Romney win terrifies me. A Romney/Ryan win will destroy the remaining middle class, public education and will indenture labor. He will rapidly steal from the poor and middle class to further enrich the 1 percent while destroying our planet. His Supreme Court appointments will codify the abuses and make it all worse.

In our view, Democrats generally tend to be more specific and realistic about their plans and outlook, while Republicans tend toward the broadbrush approach. For example, President Obama paints a picture of the current economic outlooks as a realistic “no pain, no gain” path and delineates specifics that some may not like but are necessary to get us out of this mess. On the other hand, Romney says he has an unspecified plan that appears

to eliminate much of the scary Ryan approach, but seems to be a vague version of trickle-down economics. The base view pits the very wealthy versus a notso-healthy and diminishing middle class. It’s not pretty in Congress. Are we doomed?

If Romney wins and the middle class is destroyed, then many well-armed people will have nothing to lose. Eventually there could be a bloody revolution and civil war.

The current Congress has the lowest approval ratings of any in history. Do you believe the Tea Party is to blame? Even most traditional Republicans think they’ve gone too far.

Yes, the Tea Party has gone too far. They are bullies eating their young. The blame lies with Newt Gingrich’s negative and polarizing attacks, the Tea Party, the uninformed voter, the profit mongers using the PR firms to mislead and Citizens United together with other lack of campaign finance regulation.

Finally, as a doctor you must be an expert on Medicare.

What are your thoughts on the competing plans and what do you think has to take place to ensure these benefits—and those of Social Security—continue in perpetuity?

I am not an expert on Medicare, but I know who to ask. Medicare, other health care, and Social Security need benefit prioritization, careful budgeting and means testing to function well for many future decades. Medicare costs are more challenging than Social Security. Social Security has a current $2.4-trillion trust fund surplus and, even with a 4.2 percent payroll tax, we took in more than was paid in benefits last year. Medicare costs rise with longevity, technology advancements and disease prevalence, like obesity. There is too much “profit extraction” in our health system.

Our fee-for-service approach fails to align medical system use with outcomes and cost. Doctors often prescribe patented rather than generic meds with no efficacy difference. In Haiti, AIDS treatment dropped from $1,500 per patient a year to $450 with the same life expectancy by using a protocol of generic medicines.

chattanoogapulse.com • AUG. 30-sept. 5, 2012 • The Pulse • 7

state of the art auto detailing At Chattanooga Detail, we see detailing as a science.We use steam-cleaning technology as a green alternative to traditional methods to reduce water usage and chemicals. We offer a wide range of services, from a hand wash to comprehensive detail package. Executive pick-up and delivery available.

Mention you saw this ad in The Pulse and receive 25% off any service.

1944 Dayton Blvd • 423.531.3655 • chattanoogadetail.com

8 • The Pulse • AUG. 30-sept. 5, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Expires 12/30/12

LIST

THE CALENDAR

08.30-09.05

NIGHTFALL TIZER »

MILELE ROOTS FRI 08.31 • 7 p.m.

Miller Plaza

riverfront nights Sister Sparrow rick bowers band SAT 09.01 • 7 p.m.

21st Century Waterfront

» pulse PICKS

» pulse pick OF THE LITTER

THU08.30

Open-Air Urban Theater

MUSIC The Memphis Dawls • Jewels of the Memphis folk scene.

9 p.m. • The Honest Pint • 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423)468-4192 • thehonestpint.com

EVENT “Hard Travelin’ with Woody” • Randy Noojin’s one-man show based on the work of Woody Guthrie.

7:30 p.m. • Barking Legs Theater • 1307 Dodds Ave. • (423) 624-5347 • barkinglegs.org

FRI08.31 MUSIC Fly By Radio • Female-fronted rock from the ’80s to today.

10 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews • 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

• Want to watch free, compelling documentaries paired with fun, classic movies from the 1980s in an open-air setting downtown—and have a beer?

We thought so.

So did River City Company and the Arts and Education Council when they teamed to present Movies at the 700 Block, a series of double features shown on screens against the walls of the otherwise less glamorous gap on Market Street that River City is working on developing.

While they search for the right mix of commercial developments to fill

EVENT Southside ArtStroll • Stroll the galleries of the Southside on the last Friday of each month. Three new venues are now open and ready to discover.

5 p.m. • Southside Historic District

SAT09.01 MUSIC Stacey Earle & Mark Stuart • Husband-and-wife duo blend clear acoustic guitar interplay with lovely harmonies.

8 p.m. • Barking Legs Theater • 1307 Dodds Ave. • (423) 624-5347 • barkinglegs.org

EVENT Movies at the 700 block • Free, open-air urban theater featuring “Build Me A World” and “The Goonies.” Beer and concession on site.

8:45 p.m. • 728 Market St. (423) 265-3700 • rivercitycompany.com

A World,” the documentary by local filmmakers that follows a year in the lives of Howard School students. To lighten things up, the 1985 fantasyadventure film “The Goonies” takes the back side of the double bill.

You can’t drive in, but you can wander in, grab a cold beer and enjoy concessions from local food trucks. Enjoy. the space, River City and AEC are offering “urban theater,” free in a (hopefully) cool outdoor setting on Saturday evenings on Sept. 1, 8 and 22.

First up is “Build Me

“Build Me A World” “The Goonies” Free • 8:45 p.m.

Saturday, Sept. 1 728 Market St. (423) 265-3700 rivercitycompany.com

Hannibal Buress at Vaudeville Café • When Chris Rock calls you the funniest young comic he’s seen in years, people take notice.

Hannibal Buress is the object of that praise—and your one chance to see him is Thursday (Aug. 30) at Vaudeville Café.

A veteran of the lateshow circuit, Buress has also made prime-time appearances on “Louie” and “30 Rock,” and will appear on upcoming the Adult Swim series “The Eric Andre Show” and “The Nick Show Kroll.”

Buress earned his

comic stripes behind the scenes as a staff writer at “30 Rock” and “Saturday Night Live.” He released his debut album, “My Name is Hannibal” in 2010 and his new Comedy Central special, “Hannibal Buress: Animal Furness” is now available on DVD.

son ends a e S r a l The Regu or the Lookouts, ad f on the ro we’re on ... but

e h t o t d The Ro a

s ff o y Pla

outs.com k o o l . w w Check w es on possible t for upda me dates for a playoff g ce Lookouts! la the first p ffice at 267-4849 box o e h t l l a tickets C d n a s l i a for det

Though perpetually touring, Buress considers New York City home, where he hosts a weekly Sunday comedy night at Brooklyn’s Knitting Factory. He lives with zero pets and an XBOX 360, and has a cable package with the Starz network, but never watches it.

Hannibal Buress $15 • 7 p.m.

Thursday, Aug. 30 Vaudeville Café 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com chattanoogapulse.com • AUG. 30-sept. 5, 2012 • The Pulse • 9

REALLYNOURISH

Join our Coffee Club today!

$25 a month gets you a free Thrive travel mug, unlimited brewed Thrive blend coffee or Rishi Tea and discounts on beans. Open early!

Thrive Studio offers training, yoga, indoor cycling, fitness classes & nutrition with convenient drop-in plans.

WORLD-CLASS TEQUILA BAR

PURE AGAVE TEQUILA

IN COOLIDGE PARK • OPEN 6 A.M. MONDAY-FRIDAY

SUGAR’S RIBS • 507 BROAD ST. • 423.508.8956

Thrive Studio • 191 River St. • 423.800.0676

FACEBOOK/SUGARSRIBS • SUGARSRIBS.COM/DOWNTOWN

thrivestudio.net • Facebook/ThriveStudio • Twitter: @thrivestudio1

NOW OPEN DAILY FOR LUNCH

Thrive Studio—Healthy Bodies, Happy Minds

10 • The Pulse • AUG. 30-sept. 5, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Party at the richard winham

Digital Revolution Frees Music video threatened to kill the radio star, but it didn’t have to—radio killed itself. Corporations drove up the purchase price of a radio station to astronomical levels only corporations could afford, and now a few corporations own almost all of the commercial stations in the country. That huge investment combined with their native reluctance to try anything new has led to the stagnation so many revile. The multi-national record corporations are also collapsing because they too have played it safe for too long. The revolution in the 1960s was a revolution in style, but a truly substantial revolution can only occur when creatives control the means of production—and more importantly, distribution.

The movie studios collapsed when they lost control of the theaters showing the films and the actors refused to work under contract. When digital distribution began displacing record stores, and digital promotion began displacing radio and television, the revolution truly began.

Every musician now has the means to record and market themselves available to them.

My friends in Uncle Lightnin’, one of Chattanooga’s heritage bands, have just finished work on a new album.

They’ve been holed up in their home studio for the past two years working on a huge clutch of new songs. Having created a rough draft of the album, they took the files to noted producer Mitch Easter.

The resulting record has the same gritty immediacy that made the early REM albums he worked on sound so good.

But, more importantly, while REM had to give them their finished work to a company for marketing and distributing, Uncle Lightnin’ will retain control of the entire process with the result that selling 15,000 copies of the

album (released in October) will not make them rock-star rich, but it will afford them the means to make another album while leaving them considerable pocket change.

That’s 15,000 copies—not 150,000, previously considered the break-even point for an album on a major label.

The digital revolution will not result in a new generation of fat cats sitting in their counting houses, and the foundering corporate music machine will continue to suck on the teat of young musicians gulled into buying their tinsel-wrapped fantasies. But many of the best minds are taking a different route to reach your ears. Making music for money is alive and well, but weary listeners aren’t going to pony up $20 for a hitand-filler any longer. iTunes has seen to that. Musicians are back out touring and building an audience the way their grandfathers did it, and the music is better for it.

The other digital revolution, dating back to Grandmaster Flash and the other

“

Uncle Lightnin’ will retain control of the entire process with the result that selling 15,000 copies of the album (released in October) will not make them rock-star rich, but it will afford them the means to make another album while leaving them considerable pocket change. master mixologists, is also alive and well, and making merry with the corporations’ copyrights. Mark Vidler, the producer, remixer and DJ, puts his mash-ups on the Web for free. On his Go Home Productions site, he has a host of sometimes droll, sometimes clever, sometimes a tad too cute, but always unlikely combinations such as Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” and the Jackson Five’s take on “Rockin’ Robin’”—which by rights shouldn’t have anything in common. But better still is his mix of John Lennon’s “A Day In The Life” with bits of “I Am The Walrus,” which reinvents that classic as well as anything on George and Giles Martin’s remixes for the Cirque De Soleil show, “Love.”

DJs are the new rock stars—at least as far as their paychecks—according to a recent article in Rolling Stone, but only a few will have the longevity of even a good band because in the end most of them are relying on someone else to provide the source material for their act. Everyone has their favorite. I like Greg Gillis of Girl Talk. His most recent compilation, All Day, boasts a dizzying 372 samples within its 71 minutes.

Rappers’ rapid-fire rhyming is matched with both instantly familiar and obscure music samples shifting so swiftly that almost as soon as you’ve registered it, it’s gone onto another one. A Joe Jackson piano melody segues into a Motown riff into a 60’s rocker into a thundering piano and drum instrumental broken by the sitar riff from “Paint It Black” into—oh, what is that, I know that tune, oh, too late, it’s onto another and another relentlessly for 71 minutes.

Available from Illegal Art for free, the sampler neatly sidesteps copyright hassles. For the sample-obsessed, Girl Talk will be in town working the crowd on Friday, Sept. 28, celebrating Track 29’s first anniversary.

Since Woodstock the foolish few have demanded that music be free. Music‘s not free, but the musicians who make it deserve to be freed from the virtual indentured servitude of a corporate record contract—and the Web has made that possible.

Richard Winham is the host and producer of WUTC-FM’s afternoon music program and has observed the Chattanooga music scene for more than 25 years.

All Week Long!

Mon & tue LIVE DJ

Wii on the Big Screen wednesdays

Jonathan Wimpee Jam Session thursdays LOCAL LEGENDS

HOUSE PARTY WITH 5 DJS

WEEKEND

PARTY ZONE!

FRI $1 BEER 10-11PM LIVE MUSIC WITH

STEVIE MONCE BAND sat $1 BEER 10-11PM LIVE MUSIC WITH

THE REGULARS BAND Party on Two Floors!

1st Floor: Live Music • 2nd Floor: Dancing

Raw Sushi Bar

Restaurant & Nightclub 409 Market Street •423.756.1919

chattanoogapulse.com • AUG. 30-sept. 5, 2012 • The Pulse • 11

Chattanooga Live

MUSIC CALENDAR

Thu 08.30

Wednesday • August 29

Guilty Pleasures Dance Party featuring Bitch Please

Friday • August 31

Milele Roots The Chinese Dub Embassy

Saturday • September 1

Cherub featuring Fine Peduncle

Tuesday • September 4

Molly Gene One Whoaman Band Mark Holder

Wednesday • September 5 The Zou • Monomath

Thursday • September 6 Cheap Time

Saturday • September 8 Smooth Dialects • Tikka

Monday • September 10 Emmit Nershi Band

JJ’s Bohemia • 231 E MLK Blvd.

423.266.1400 • jjsbohemia.com

LIVE MUSIC CHATTANOOGA AUG/SEP

THU. SMOOTH DIALECTS with AJ & THE JIGGAWATTS and DELTA MOON 9:30p 30

FLY BY RADIO

Rock from the 80s, 90s and Today

THE 90’s SHOW Party Rock from Tool to Dee Lite LIVE SOUL MECHANIC RECORDING with THE JUICE

JOSH GILBERT with MATT CHANCEY BAND & SAN DUMAS

31 SAT. 10p 1 SUN. 10p 2 WED. 9p 5

FRI. 10p

Preston Parris with Tim Starnes 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com The Memphis Dawls and Sweet G.A. Brown 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com Smooth Dialects with AJ & The Jiggawatts and Delta Moon 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

fri 08.31 Tizer, Milele Roots 7 p.m. Nightfall, River City Stage at Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. nightfallchattanooga.com Kaylinn Karr & Robert Lee 7:30 p.m. Meo Mio’s Cajun & Seafood Restaurant, 4119 Cummings Hwy. (423) 521-7160 meomios.com Parabelle 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.com Milele Roots, The Chinese Dub Embassy 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 jjsbohemia.com Kenny Johnston Band

COMING: 9/6: KYMERA PROJECTS 9/7: MICHAEL MARTIN BAND 9/8: ABBY ROAD LIVE 9/12: UNCLE LUCIUS ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREET

HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM 12 • The Pulse • AUG. 30-sept. 5, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

MEMPHIS DAWLS • Known as the crowning jewel of the Memphis folk scene, the core group is made up of three veteran musicians—Holly Cole (guitars, vocals) Jana Misener (cello, vocals), and Krista Wroten (viola, mandolin, accordion, vocals)—delivering hauntingly romantic and lyrical folk music with a modern flare.

THU 08.30 • 9 p.m. • The Honest Pint • 35 Patten Pkwy. • (423) 468-4192 • thehonestpint.com

8 p.m. Top of the Dock, 5600 Lake Resort Terr. topofthedock.net Brian Ashley Jones 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400 chattanooganhotel.com Joshua Songs 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Scenic City Soul Revue 9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com.

Queen “B” and The

Well Strung Band 9:30 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy (423) 521-2966 skyzoochattanooga.com Fly By Radio 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

sat 09.01 Ogya Trio with Lumbar 5 10 a.m. Incline Railway, 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 821-4224 ridetheincline.com New Binkley Brothers Noon. Rock City,

1400 Patten Road Lookout Mtn., Ga. seerockcity.com Cherub featuring Fine Peduncle 7 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 jjsbohemia.com Grass Roots Kids, The Mailboxes, The Canadian Coldfront & Oaklynn 7:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Stacey Earle & Mark Stuart 8 p.m. Barking Legs

daily lunch & drink specials!

The only place in Town where you can sing karaoke anyTime.

Book your Birthday, anniversary or holiday parties now!

410 market • (423) 757-wing

singitorwingit-chattanooga.com

Between the Sleeves Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Sister Sparrow and the Dirty Birds 7 p.m. Ross’s Landing, 200 Riverfront Pkwy. riverfrontnights.com Queen “B” and the Well Strung Band 9 p.m. Top of the Dock, 5600 Lake Resort Terr. topofthedock.net The 90’s Show 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

sun 09.02 Ogya Trio with Lumbar 5 10 a.m. Incline Railway, 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 821-4224 ridetheincline.com Queen “B” and the Well Strung Band 6 p.m. Top of the Dock, 5600 Lake Resort Terr. topofthedock.net Everywhere Quintet 8 p.m. Easy Lemon, 1440 Adams St. easylemon.wordpress.com Soul Mechanic, The Juice 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

mon 09.03 Ogya Trio with Lumbar 5 10 a.m. Incline Railway, 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 821-4224 ridetheincline.com Jake Ousley & Cody Harris

7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com

tue 09.04 Everywhere Quintet 8 p.m. Easy Lemon Loft, 1440 Adams St. easylemon.wordpress.com Molle Gene One Whoaman Band 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 jjsbohemia.com

wed 09.05 The Zou 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 jjsbohemia.com Everywhere Quintet 9 p.m. Easy Lemon Loft, 1440 Adams St. easylemon.wordpress.com Josh Gilbert with Matt Chancey Band & San Dimas 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com.

Deep Fried 5 with Kymera 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com

Map these locations at chattanoogapulse. com. Send live music listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

Tuesday: Karaoke 10pm to 2am Wednesday: $1 Beer No cover 4pm to Close

Thursdays: Live Trivia 8-10pm Happy Hour Daily 4-8pm

901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191

record reviews • ernie paik violist and violinist tony conrad teamed up with the legendary German band Faust in 1972 to create the essential, pioneering drone/minimalist album Outside the Dream Syndicate, but Conrad wasn’t entire happy with the recording, saying that producer Uwe Nettelbeck’s approach made Conrad “sound like a hippy.” In the mid-1990s, Conrad was able to revisit that material with Faust, and the 1995 live album, Outside the Dream Syndicate Alive, is startlingly different than the original in mood, with a much more aggressive, primal playing style (apparently, bassist Jean-Hervé Péron played so hard his fingers were bloody). Continuing on that traHangedup jectory, the newly released album & Tony Conrad Transit of Venus from Conrad with Transit of Venus the Canadian duo Hangedup is a (Constellation) forceful, driving album, smoldering with a patient determination. It’s the aural equivalent of a mad mentalist with an intense look of concentration on his face and a furrowed brow, attempting to use his mind to destroy someone.

Transit of Venus is part of the triple vinyl LP box set entitled Musique Fragile Vol. 02, alongside albums by Kanada 70 and Pacha, and it is also available as a digital download. It features previously unreleased recordings from 2004, and while minimalism is typically found in the classical music realm, even despite the strings on this album, it squarely resides in the rock world. The pairing of Conrad and Hangedup works well, with Conrad often providing insistent amplified violin drones, while Hangedup violist Genevieve Heistek touches base with Conrad but also makes her own sorties into freer territory. Hangedup drummer Eric Craven is disciplined yet restless, constantly adapting and nudging his patterns, and his style is sometimes like a cymbalheavy version of Tortoise’s drummers. Those uninitiated with avant-drone-rock may find Transit of Venus to be abrasive and maddening, but hardy listeners will be treated with an absolutely hypnotic, stirring, and rewarding album.

Ernie Paik reveiws new music each week in The Pulse. Read more of his reviews online at chattanoogapulse.com and send digital download links to creative@chattanoogapulse.com.

Thursday, Aug. 30: 9pm Open Mic with Mark Holder

Friday, Aug. 31: 9pm Joshua Songs

Saturday, Sept. 1: 9pm Karae “ORY” Oke

Tuesday, Sept. 4: 7pm

Server Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks!

Stop by & check out our daily specials! ●

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Facebook.com/theofficechatt

NEW LOCATION! 809 MARKET ST. WED. NIGHT LIVE JAZZ 7-9PM WINE SPECIALS 4PM-CLOSE GREAT SIGNATURE COCKTAILS!

427 Market Street • 423.267.2445

Market Street Tavern 809 Market Street• 423.634.0260 Facebook.com/marketstreettavern chattanoogapulse.com • AUG. 30-sept. 5, 2012 • The Pulse • 13

Screen

JOHN DEVORE

‘Joyride’ of Pleasure youtube can be a source of deeper subject matter than cats, cats and more cats. If you know where to look, you can find great comedy, amazing performances by amateur musicians and full-length films by real filmmakers. Such was the case when my editor recently passed me a link to a blog on the Houston Press’ website listing 20 great rock ‘n’ roll documentaries that are absolutely free on YouTube.

Some of these are very popular and well made.

Films like “The Beatles Anthology” and the Rolling Stone’s “Gimme Shelter” are essential viewing for fans of rock music.

Other, less-known films are about metal or the Pixies or Amy Winehouse or Pearl Jam. These are all niche type films—films that appeal to those who obsess over a genre or artist.

While I’m sure they are all excellent in their own way, I tend to be drawn to documentaries that are foreign to me, with subject matter or people about which I know nothing. I was lucky in this respect, in that this article led me to a spectacular documentary about a Chicago artist, one who defied the odds and mental illness to become not only successful, but also memorable and touching as well. “Wesley Willis’s Joyrides” is exceptional— full of resonating emotion and tenderness. It is a film that everyone should see.

After checking out the list, watch this one first.

Willis was a very large, powerful and sympathetic presence in Chicago. He was a schizophrenic, a man who fought off the demons in his head on a daily basis. He heard voices, spoke in a strange, halting manner and like most people with mental illness, had difficulty with

14 • The Pulse • AUG. 30-sept. 5, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

20 Free Rock Documentaries on YouTube • “When You’re Strange” (The Doors) • “Until The Light Takes Us” (Black metal) • “Flight 666” (Iron Maiden) • “Mayor of Sunset Strip” (DJ Rodney Bingenheimer) • “Hated” (GG Allin) • “The Beatles Anthology” • “Imagine John Lennon” • “God Bless Ozzy Osbourne” • “This Is It” (Michael Jackson) • “If I Should Fall From Grace” (Pogues frontman Shane McGowan) • “Some Kind of Monster” (Metallic) • “Gimme Shelter” (Rolling Stones) • “The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years” • “Urgh! A Music War” (Klaus Nomi) • “Gouge” (The Pixies) • “Pearl Jam Twenty” • “Amazing Journey: The Story of The Who” • “Hype” (Seattle grunge) • “Wesley Willis’s Joyrides” • “The Girl Done Good” (Amy Winehouse)

housing and hygiene. An incredible visual artist, Willis spent most of his days drawing the highways and skylines of the “City with Big Shoulders” with exquisite lines and expressive detail. He was a salesman, making a living from selling his drawings

and CDs, often times carrying thousands of dollars on his person because he never used a bank. Most famously, he was a musician who toured constantly, with spoken-word, free-form poetry like “Rock and Roll McDonald’s” set to a background of punk power chords. The 2008 documentary shows Willis as an experience, a man full of idiosyncrasies, who loved performing and people. Willis succumbed to leukemia in 2006 and his loss is a shame.

I used to haunt open mic nights in my youth and remember a man who carried a Casio keyboard with him and performed spoken word songs very much like Wesley Willis. I guess everything comes from somewhere.

I remember loving his performance, welcoming the departure from starry-eyed teenage rock stars and aging southern rock dignitaries who performed every night. I have also worked with people who suffer from mental illness. I know several people, just like Willis, who are an absolute riot and a genuine pleasure to be around. I know people who choose illness over medicine for the sake of their art. They deserve our encouragement and our love. Chattanooga is full of characters like Wesley Willis. They just haven’t been discovered yet.

ACE

ARTS • CULTURE • ENTERTAINMENT

Elemi Wins Design Challenge

By Rich Bailey urban design was the rock star last thursday at Track 29, as River City Company’s yearlong Urban Design Challenge came to a grand finale, with a juried winner and an audience choice award.

Three jurors representing a who’s who of urban design in Tennessee unanimously gave the grand prize to Elemi Architect’s plan for Fourth Street, which included a call to modify the state’s plan for U.S. 27.

“The Fourth Street project did some things I would consider unique,” said Scott Wall, director of the UT School of Architecture. He is also an alumnus of Chattanooga’s famed Urban Design Studio, having worked there as a student intern in 1983.

“Challenging TDOT to revaluate how they were going to remake the on and off ramps—and with substantive recommendations—was really a powerful move,” Wall continued. “It challenged the assumption that government does this kind of thing without thought. I think TDOT recognized the value of that.”

“I always get frustrated with highways like this coming into your city. So often, a highway exit is not thought of as a city entrance. The place is not the freeway. We are the place, the freeway is the utility supporting the city,” said Cheryl Morgan, head of the Auburn University Design Studio, which has sent architecture, landscape architecture and urban design students to work in Chattanooga. Recently, those students worked under the auspices of the Urban Design Forum, which has continued the Design Studio’s work of bringing young designers to

bear on Chattanooga’s urban design issues.

“They made a damn good movie,” said Henry Turley of the winning team’s film presentation. Turley is a Memphis developer who has been involved with some of Memphis’s iconic urban design projects, including the Harbor Town community on Mud Island. “I think if you’re trying to promote public discussion you want to do it in a vernacular that people understand.”

“I just walk away with a sense of reverence about it, the quality of work for the whole year-long process,” said Eric Myers, the leader of the Elemi team. “I can’t help but feel honored to be chosen by those three people. They’re my heroes in urban design.”

The audience choice award —voted on by an enthusiastic crowd at the grand finale last week—went to the plan for the area around Main and Broad Streets. This plan drew head-

lines when it was first presented for proposing to move the Pilgrim’s Pride chicken plant out of the Southside.

“Moving the chicken plant is not the linchpin of the project. That could happen soon-

er, later or never and the plan could still be implemented,” said Craig Kronenberg, of Hefferlin Kronenberg Architects, which created the plan with Artech and Barge Waggoner Sumner and Cannon.

The plan also envisions a new UTC basketball arena next to Finley Stadium and several blocks of new housing and commercial development on and around the current chicken plant.

According to Kronenberg, one of the key aspects of the plan is restoring connections across Broad Street, which is currently a barrier between two parts of the neighborhood because the numbered streets that should cross Broad Street are interrupted by large developments, like the chicken plant.

“Imagine if Broad, Market, Chestnut and Carter were blocked at MLK, what would happen to the downtown,” Kronenberg said. “That’s

analogous to what happens at Broad with 16th, 17th, 18th and 19th Streets. Only 17th goes through, but it’s really a service alley for the chicken plant. You wouldn’t walk your dog there.”

One of the misunderstood aspects of the six Urban Design Challenge plans presented over the last 12 months is that they are visionary plans, not development blueprints.

River City Company’s assignment to the design teams was to dream big, to help Chattanoogans think about what could happen in six key downtown locations. By design, the process is about brainstorming and conversation.

Parts of the final Broad and Main vision were reshaped during the planning process to include two parcels whose developers came forward and asked the planners for input.

“We represented in the plan what is intended to be built,” Kronenberg said.

Similarly, along Fourth Street, the next six months could see announcements on two key properties: the John Ross Building between Market and Broad and the property River City Company owns next to the Majestic Cinema, according to Eric Myers.

These possibilities show the subtle give and take between blue-sky planning and dollars-and-cents development.

When a visionary plan is announced, the obvious conclusion is that someone is about to build or trying to persuade someone to build. The truth is more subtle. Sometimes a good plan brings money to the table that wouldn’t be there otherwise. Ultimately, that’s what the Urban Design Challenge is all about. And it seems to be working.

friday 9:30 • saturday 10:30

THURSDAY AUG. 30 one show

only! saturday night live writer

HANNIBAL BURESS comedy central star

aug 31-SEP 1 sep 7-8 GEOFF james ervin TATE berry

thu. 7 • fri. 7 sat. 5:30 & 8

138 MARKET • 423.517.1839

FUNNYDINNER.COM

full bar

chattanoogapulse.com • AUG. 30-sept. 5, 2012 • The Pulse • 15

Arts & Entertainment Thu 08.30

Great jobs.

Great people.

EMPLOYERS Post your employment ad for 30 days for only $50.

No space limitations.

JOB SEEKERS Post your resume and search jobs for free!

chattanoogajobpost.com 16 • The Pulse • AUG. 30-sept. 5, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Chattanooga Bach Choir Auditions Brainerd UMC, 4315 Brainerd Road (423) 240-2123 Street Food Thursdays 11 a.m. Warehouse Row, 1110 Market St. warehouserow.net Bridal Affair Enchanted Evening 2012 4 p.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 757-6308 Hannibal Buress 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com “Hard Travelin’ with Woody” 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Dale Jones 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Art After School 4:30 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944 huntermuseum.org

fri 08.31 Fresh on Fridays 11 a.m. Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. (423) 265-3700 rivercitycompany.com Southside ArtStroll 5 p.m. Southside Historic District Dale Jones 7:30 & 10 p.m.

The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Geoff Tate 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com

CALENDAR

sat 09.01 Downtown Kayak Tour 9 a.m. Outdoor Chattanooga, 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com River Market 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad St. (423) 402-9960 chattanoogamarket.com Dale Jones 7:30 & 10 p.m.

The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Movies at the 700 Block: “Build Me a World,” “The Goonies” 8:45 p.m. 728 Market St. (423) 265-3700 rivercitycompany.com Geoff Tate 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com

sun 09.02 Free First Sunday Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944 huntermuseum.org Downtown Kayak Tour 9 a.m. Outdoor Chattanooga, 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Hot Rod Show 11 a.m. Chattanooga Market, 1829 Carter St. (423) 402-9960 chattanoogamarket.com Open Improv Jam 3 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Dale Jones 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

mon 09.03

5K for Fellowship of

Christian Athletes 8 a.m. Chattanooga State Community College, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 877-3561 chattanoogafca.org Arts in the Park Festival 10 a.m. Veteran’s Park, Collegedale (423) 402-9960 chattanoogamarket.com

tue 09.04 Rapid Learning Roll Practice 5:30 p.m. Greenway Farms, 5051 Gann Store Road (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Poetry Too 6 p.m. Pasha Coffee & Tea, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482 pashacoffeehouse.com Bluff View Walking Tour 7 p.m. South end of Walnut Street Bridge (423) 265-3247 chattanoogahistory.org

wed 09.05 Developing a Global Mindset 9:30 a.m. The INCubator, 100 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 763-4358 chattanoogachamber.com Belly Dancing Class 10:30 a.m. Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 North Terrace Road (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com Street Smarts for Bicycle Transit 6 p.m. Outdoor Chattanooga, 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com

Map these locations at chattanoogapulse.com.

Send calendar listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

THEATRE

‘Bizarre,’ ‘Cabaret’ open new season chattanooga’s theater scene may be no match for the brightly lit stages of New York City, but it renders a dignified dose of what you may find in the Big Apple with two distinct seasons of plays for everyone’s taste.

The Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga presents until Sept. 2 its fourth annual Short Attention Span Theater titled “Bizarre”, performing at 7:30 p.m. on Fridays, 2 p.m. on Saturdays, and at 6:30 p.m. on Sundays at St. Andrews Center.

Director Casey Keelan said in a news release that this season’s theme is exploring social norms: “The bizarre is just one big gray area,” he said.

“You can’t even define what is bizarre and what is not because it is so subjective.” The idea is that viewers come out with unique interpretations of possibly the weirdest—or the most normal, depending on whom you ask— quickie theater of the moment.

Behind the lights, camera and action lie three producing partners/ best friends and the brainchildren of ETC’s third season. Founder Garry Lee Posey birthed the nonprofit company in 2007 and brought on Thomas Cecil and Christy Gallo in 2009, according to its website. They share ETC blog space with other actors, posting reflections on new reads and memoirs from the theater world.

Perfect for theater newbies or veterans looking for pushed boundaries, this 10-minute play leaves almost nothing to the imagination.

Visit ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com for ticket information.

For a more traditional palate, the Chattanooga Theatre Centre

launches its 89th season on Sept.

7 with “Cabaret” in the Main Theatre. This season’s productions will represent the range of theatre from dramas such as “God of Carnage” to classics such as “Annie.” “Cabaret” production dates will overlap starting Sept. 14 with performances of “The 39 Steps,” a comedy, in the Circle Theatre.

With “Cabaret,” director and musical director George Quick and choreog rapher Lindsay Fussell take us back to 1966 when the musical first premiered and won eight Tony Awards.

Based on nightlife at Berlin’s seedy Kit Kat Club, “Cabaret” was an instant Broadway hit that eventually spawned Bob Fosse’s famous 1972 film.

Quick and Fussell will give their best shot at highlighting one of theater’s most scandalous, gritty and desirable productions with fresh pizzazz by keeping a live band on stage for the entire performance. “This is not a ‘Cabaret’ for the faint of heart,” Quick wrote on Chattanooga Theatre Centre’s website, “It’s an adult show with adult situations.”

If you’re looking for something lighter, Alfred Hitchcock’s “The 39 Steps” might be more your speed.

Don’t be scared away by the Hitchcock trademark; although the production has a dash of mystery, the centre’s website promises “a fastpaced whodunit” with “nonstop laughs.” If watching four actors play more than 150 characters doesn’t sound eye-catching enough, maybe the play’s credentials will seal the deal: it won Tony and Drama Desk Awards twice each. Visit theatrecentre.com for ticket information.

—Junnie Kwon

Come join us!

For the best value on food & drinks in the Lookout Mountain/ Lookout Valley area!

Every Monday ¢75 Tacos 5-10pm

Cold Draft Beer ¢99 to $3.25 Daily

d!

s foo u o i c i l e D Comida

!

deliciosa

igos y m A 3 Los mmings Hw

Cu 3536 ) 521-7676 (423

Present this coupon and receive $3.00 off your purchase of $20.00 or more.

(Must be $20 before tax added.

Not valid with any other offer or discounts.)

chattanoogapulse.com • AUG. 30-sept. 5, 2012 • The Pulse • 17

Food & Drink

Romancing the Moon when you think “marshmallow sandwich,” you think moon pie.

If there’s another brand, it would be difficult to name, much less ponder.

That Moon Pies are among the few iconic Chattanooga food bands, the connection is even more clear and instantly identifiable.

423.304.7829

WWW.CRAVECHATTANOOGA.COM

Mellow Mugs for The Cure THINK

DRAFT

PINK

BEER

Skinny Lemonade with

(EXCLUDING HIGH GRAVS)

OR ANY OTHER BEVERAGE CHOICE $4

A portion of the proceeds go to Race for the Cure

205 Broad Street • 423.266.5564 Mellow Mushroom Chattanooga

honest music

2318 Lifestyle Way • 423.468.3737 Mellow Mushroom Waterside

So when I read that Chattanooga Bakery, makers of the Moon Pie since 1917 were fiddling with the brand, I was a little concerned. I have often felt that stretching a brand beyond its unique qualities—the entry of Krystal into the full-size burger market, for example—dilutes its original appeal, and is often a huge mistake. When it comes to snack foods—particularly iconic local brands, such as the Moon Pie and Little Debbies—the appeal and idea of these products is clear and purposeful.

You see them on the shelf, nostalgia or a sweet tooth takes hold, and you consume them, sometimes at one sitting, as I do.

As it turns out, the folks at Chattanooga bakery weren’t expanding the line—chocolate, banana, and the newer mini Moon Pies, introduced in 1999, are as far as the line should legally stray—but updating the packaging. And instead of going futuristic, they

turned backward to the brand’s historical packaging. “It’s designed to stir up the warm feelings people associate with our brand while modernizing the look,” Sam Campbell, the bakery’s president and fourth-generation head of the family owned company, in a recent Times Free Press story on the shift.

I’m not sure if this move will achieve the marketing goals of The Goldstein Group, the firm that took on the project, which “specializes” in how consumers see, feel and relate to a brand in 10 seconds or less. I don’t keep count, but I imagine that’s the length of time I’d consider purchasing a non-essential item, so I’ll give them that.

The redesigned packaging—a celestial quarter moon against a fluffy, cloud-like background with a digital representation of a Moon Pie—is indeed appealing. But as long as the line of Moon Pies were of the same flavor and quality, I wouldn’t

mind a simple white box with the words Moon Pie printed on it.

Consider the mistake another iconic brand, Pop-Tarts, made in an effort to expand their market and achieve superiority over Toaster Strudels.

Where once you were faced with a nice selection of flavors, either frosted or unfrosted—chocolate, strawberry, blueberry and cinnamon—one now confronted with multiple flavors of undecipherable authenticity. Along the way, Kellogg’s also ditched at least two brilliant flavors—Danish Apple and white-frosted chocolate fudge. These days, as often as not, I purchase store-brand pastries of the basic flavor line.

I can’t say I’ll purchase a box of Moon Pies because of the brand’s new packaging, but at least they didn’t make the PopTarts mistake. And if you try to tart up Little Debbie, McKee Foods, you’re just asking for trouble.

—Bill Ramsey

local and regional shows

To Light a Fire, Elk Milk and Woodford Sessions ($3)

Wed, Aug 29

9pm

The Memphis Dawls and Sweet G.A. Brown ($3)

Thu, Aug 30

9pm

Deep Fried 5 with Kymera ($3)

Wed, Sep 5

9pm

Long Gone Darlings with Kentucky Knife Fight ($3)

Thu, Sep 6

9pm

Special Show • Sun, Sept 2

Labor Day Weekend Blowout ($5) Strung Like A Horse & Jordan Hallquist

Free Irish Music Sundays at 7pm

18 • The Pulse • AUG. 30-sept. 5, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner.

11am-2am, 7 days a week.

35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 thehonestpint.com * Facebook.com/thehonestpint

Comix

Don’t Just Drive a Car—Drive a Supercar!

The Finest Selection of High-End Used Cars and Trucks in Chattanooga!

3307 Ringgold Road • 423.490.7654

MORNINGS 6-10AM BACK TO SCHOOL • $$$ BONUS! $$$

NEED EXTRA CASH? CHATTANOOGA’S #1 GOLD BUYER wants to give you MONEY for your jewelry!

Get paid TOP-DOLLAR just like Rick’s thousands of satisfied customers!

WWW.RICKDAVISGOLDANDDIAMONDS.COM

RICK DAVIS GOLD & DIAMONDS 5301 Brainerd Rd at McBrien Rd • 423.499.9162

chattanoogapulse.com • AUG. 30-sept. 5, 2012 • The Pulse • 19

REDEFINE YOUR WEEKEND. REDEFINE YOUR PROPERTY. REDEFINE YOUR IMAGE. CALL US TODAY OR VISIT OUR WEBSITE TO START IMPROVING YOUR HOME

DOUBLE

YOUR MONEY

423.667.2662 REDEFININGLANDSCAPES.COM

GREEN IS OUR BUSINESS. WE RECYCLE.

S INDOW R-5VIDWE SIGNIFICAVNINTLY GS Y SA PRO -3 ENERG MORE A TYPICAL R THAN WINDOWS D E T RA

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In the creation myths of Easter Island’s native inhabitants, the god who made humanity was named Makemake. Today the name Makemake also belongs to a dwarf planet that was discovered beyond the orbit of Neptune in 2005. It’s currently traveling through the sign of Virgo. I regard it as being the heavenly body that best symbolizes your own destiny in the coming months. In the spirit of the original Makemake, you will have the potential to be a powerful maker. Look up the word “creator” in a thesaurus, write the words you find there on the back of your business card, and keep the card in a special place until May 2013.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): When

SAVE UP TO

$1,000

PURCHASE YOUR REPLACEMENT WINDOWS FROM ADVANTAGE AND WE WILL DOUBLE YOUR $500 TVA ENERGYRIGHT SOLUTIONS REBATE!

99

R-5 Window Upgrade Trade-In 5 Windows.........$495 10 Windows.......$990 15 Windows.....$1485

Free Will Astrology

$

Not valid with any other offer.

Valid only with coupon. Expires 8/31/12

Great jobs.

Great people.

EMPLOYERS Post your employment ad for 30 days for only $50.

No space limitations.

JOB SEEKERS Post your resume and search jobs for free!

6-FOOT FRENCH PATIO DOORS

WITH INTERIOR BLINDS

1295

WAS $1795 $ NOW ONLY

Not valid with any other offer.

Valid only with coupon. Expires 8/31/12

(423) 822-2353

FREE IN-HOME ESTIMATE 3709 BRAINERD RD. • ADVANTAGEWINDOWS.COM

chattanoogajobpost.com

20 • The Pulse • AUG. 30-sept. 5, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

novelist James Joyce began to suspect that his adult daughter Lucia was mentally ill, he sought advice from psychologist Carl Jung. After a few sessions with her, Jung told her father that she was schizophrenic. How did he know? A telltale sign was her obsessive tendency to make puns, many of which were quite clever.

Joyce reported that he, too, enjoyed the art of punning. “You are a deep-sea diver,” Jung replied.

“She is drowning.” I’m going to apply a comparable distinction to you, Libra. These days you may sometimes worry that you’re in over your head in the bottomless abyss. But in all the important ways, you’re like a deep-sea diver.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): No false advertising this week, Scorpio. Don’t pretend to be a purebred if you’re actually a mutt, and don’t act like you know it all when you really don’t. For that matter, you shouldn’t portray yourself as an unambitious amateur if you’re actually an aggressive pro, and you should avoid giving the impression that you want very little when in fact you’re a burning churning throb of longing. I realize it may be tempting to believe that a bit of creative deceit would serve a holy cause, but it won’t. As much as you possibly can, make outer appearances reflect inner truths.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In Christian lore, the serpent is the bad guy that’s the cause of all humanity’s problems. But in Hindu and Buddhist mythology, there are snake gods that sometimes do good deeds and perform epic services. They’re called Nagas. In one Hindu myth, a Naga prince carries the world on his head. And in a Buddhist tale, the Naga king uses his seven heads to give the Buddha shelter from

rob brezsny

a storm just after the great one has achieved enlightenment. In regards to your immediate future, Sagittarius, I foresee you having a relationship to the serpent power that’s more like the Hindu and Buddhist version than the Christian. Expect vitality, fertility, and healing.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In Lewis Carroll’s book “Through the Looking Glass,” the Red Queen tells Alice that she is an expert at believing in impossible things. She brags that there was one morning when she managed to embrace six improbable ideas before she even ate breakfast. I encourage you to experiment with this approach, Capricorn. Have fun entertaining all sorts of crazy notions and unruly fantasies.

Please note that I am not urging you to actually put those beliefs into action. The point is to give your imagination a good work-out.

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I’m not necessarily advising you to become best friends with the dark side of your psyche. I’m merely requesting that the two of you cultivate a more open connection. The fact of the matter is that if you can keep a dialogue going with this shadowy character, it’s far less likely to trip you up or kick your ass at inopportune moments. In time you might even come to think of its chaos as being more invigorating than disorienting. You may regard it as a worthy adversary and even an interesting teacher.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You need more magic in your life, Pisces. You’re suffering from a lack of sublimely irrational adventures and eccentrically miraculous epiphanies and inexplicably delightful interventions. At the same time, I think it’s important that the magic you attract into your life is not pure fluff. It needs some grit.

That’s why I suggest that you consider getting the process started by baking some unicorn poop cookies. They’re sparkly, enchanting, rainbow-colored sweets, but with an edge—and a distinctly roguish attitude.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I’m afraid your vibes are slightly out of tune. Can you do something about that, please? Meanwhile, your invisible friend could really use a Tarot reading, and your houseplants would benefit from a dose of Mozart. As for that rather shabby emotional baggage of yours: Would you consider hauling it to the dump? In conclusion, my dear Ram, you’re due for a few

adjustments.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Is happiness mostly just an absence of pain? If so, I bet you’ve been pretty content lately. But what if a more enchanting and exciting kind of bliss were available? Would you have the courage to go after it? I completely understand if you feel shy about asking for more.

You might worry that to do so would be greedy, or put you at risk of losing what you have already scored. But I feel it’s my duty to cheer you on. The potential rewards looming just over the hump are magnificent.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I’ve got some medicine for you to try, Gemini. It’s advice from the writer Thomas Merton. “To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns,” he wrote, “to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything, is to succumb to the violence of our times.” It’s always a good idea to heed that warning, of course. But it’s especially crucial for you right now. The best healing work you can do is to shield your attention from the din of the outside world and tune in reverently to the glimmers of the inside world.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22): I dreamed you were a magnanimous taskmaster nudging the people you care about to treat themselves with more conscientious tenderness. Your persistence was admirable! You coaxed them to waste less time and make long-range educational plans and express themselves with more confidence and precision. You encouraged them to give themselves a gift now and then and take regular walks by bodies of water. They were suspicious of your efforts to make them feel good, at least in the early going. But eventually they gave in and let you help them.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22): In the spirit of Sesame Street, I’m happy to announce that this week is brought to you by the letter T, the number 2, and the color blue.

Here are some of the “T” words you should put extra emphasis on: togetherness, trade-offs, tact, timeliness, tapestry, testability, thoroughness, teamwork, and Themis (goddess of order and justice). To bolster your mastery of the number 2, meditate on interdependence, balance, and collaboration. As for blue, remember that its presence tends to bring stability and depth.

Jonesin’ Crossword

matt jones

“That Show Is So Corny”—as is this crossword.

Across

1. ___-stealer 6. Fridge stickers 13. 1992 Madonna album 15. Arctic herd 16. Corny game show set on city streets?

17. Carbon-14, for one 18. East, in Germany 19. Drag (around) 21. Extremely cold 22. Corny reality show set all over the world, with “The”?

27. Legendary king of Crete 29. Deschanel of “New Girl” 30. More slippery and gooey 32. ___-cone 33. Typical guy on romance novel covers 37. With 39-across, corny buddy cop show?

39. See 37-across 41. “Andre the Giant ___ Posse” 42. Get some grub 44. Little party 45. Magazine that

popularized the term “crowdsourcing” 47. Name of three Shakespearean title kings 48. Corny comingof-age dramedy?

53. Label for Arab meat dealers 54. Obedience school lesson 55. Kaczynski or Koppel 58. Home perm brand 61. And all these corny TV shows are brought to you by...

64. Plants the grass after it dries out, say 65. Slowly slide into chaos 66. The O in Jackie O 67. Actress Chabert

Down

1. Mrs.’s counterparts, in Mexico 2. Family played by Alexander, Stiller and Harris 3. Biblical verb ending 4. CNN’s ___ Robertson

5. 2011 outbreak cause 6. Sprint competitor, once 7. Some batteries 8. Just barely awake and functioning 9. Fertilizer component 10. Virus named for a Congolese river 11. Subject of debate 12. Rain-unfriendly material 13. Earth Day prefix 14. Rife with conversation 20. Cheap cars of the 1990s 23. “Chaplin” actress Kelly 24. “Hey, wait ___!”

25. New Rochelle, N.Y. college 26. Some Chryslers 27. ___ pit 28. Letter after theta 31. Major German river, in German 33. More bashful 34. Subway barrier 35. Rehab participant 36. Between S and

F on a laptop 38. 36 inches 40. Qatar’s capital 43. Concert concession stand buys 45. Howling beasts 46. Like jerky 48. Top-to-bottom, informally 49. Tony-winning actress Uta ___ 50. Actress Donovan of “Clueless” 51. Cardiff is there 52. Lucy’s friend, on “I Love Lucy” 56. One of the deadly sins 57. Turn green, perhaps 59. First name in “The Last King of Scotland” 60. Season opener?

62. Eggs, to a biologist 63. Leather shoe, for short

Jonesin’ Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call.

Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0587.

Companies need great people That’s why we created ChattanoogaJobPost.com.

Thousands of Chattanooga businesses are seeking quality, qualified employees, but they don’t trust free job sites and other options are too expensive.

At ChattanoogaJobPost.com, we offer a simple, clean interface to directly connect your business with thousands of potential employees— without the high cost. Just $50 for 30 days to post your employment ad with no space limitations. Search resumes and find the perfect fit.

Visit chattanoogajobpost.com or call 423.242.7671 chattanoogapulse.com • AUG. 30-sept. 5, 2012 • The Pulse • 21

Life in the Noog

chuck crowder

Half-Mast Attempt last week, mayor ron littlefield proposed that chattanooga update it’s city flag. “What flag?” you might ask. Well, the flag it seems everyone, including most of the city council, didn’t know existed.

Believe it or not, I was just as surprised as everyone else that we have a city flag. Originated in 1923 the current flag is, of course, red, white and blue with a single white star (representing the “East Tennessee” star of the state flag’s three stars) and two white flowering Dogwood clusters (apparently Chattanooga’s “floral emblem of choice”) in a blue circle on a red background with a blue vertical stripe on the right side.

The mayor’s proposed flag design update, created several years back by our own modern day Betsy Ross—former City Councilman and employee David Crockett— features the city seal in a blue stripe (representing the Tennessee River) running horizontally across the middle of a green background. The mayor says the green motif represents the environmental progress the city has made since we were named the “dirtiest city in America” by CBS News way back in 1969.

The newly proposed flag design isn’t bad, although I’m not sure Crockett is any more of a graphic designer than I am. Those interviewed all had their own opinions of what a new flag design might look like, from including a railroad theme of some sort to a walking bridge. Regardless, Chattanooga is fortunate enough to have a plethora of talented artists and designers within our midst,

22 • The Pulse • AUG. 30-sept. 5, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

all of whom I imagine would love the opportunity to take a stab at creating more design options to choose from.

When asked if other submissions should be considered before the city council votes on adopting the new flag design however, Littlefield brought his head up out of the sand just long enough to say, “I’m not interested in opening up the design process. Let’s finish what we started 15 years ago.”

Nice.

I kind of get it. Chattanooga’s seal can already be found on just about any city-owned entity you can name—from city hall to police cars and even storm water drain covers—so it’s recognizable.

Regardless, a city flag of any design doesn’t currently fly anywhere—not at city hall, nor the annex, the city council building—hell, not even at the aquarium for Pete’s sake.

In fact, most citizens and even city government officials questioned in the news stories reporting the proposed change were unaware that we even had a flag, let alone whether it needed updating. Apparently because cities like Nashville and Louisville are proud, city flag-waving municipali-

ties, Littlefield has determined that we too need to fly our city flag (but preferably the new one he has chosen and not the old one or even a newer one).

I’m warming up to the city flag idea myself.

That is, as long as we open up the design process. What’s wrong with taking submissions for a given period of time, having a team of officials and designers choose three finalists, and then letting the public—which includes city council—vote for their favorite. It would be a whole “Kum Ba Yah” moment of bringing the entire city together toward a common goal we can all be proud to have taken part in. We did it way back when UTC was naming the Roundhouse (now McKenzie Arena or whatever they call it these days), so why not when deciding something even more important?

We’ll save the pledge of allegiance for the mayor to write. Just off the top of my head, I imagine it might go something like this: “I pledge allegiance, to the flag I didn’t choose, of the City of Chattanooga. And to the Choo Choo for which it stands, one city, under me, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

Just goes to show that, just because it’s your idea, Mr. Mayor, it doesn’t mean it’s a good one.

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are his own.

chattanoogapulse.com • AUG. 30-sept. 5, 2012 • The Pulse • 23