Toni Smith Continuing a tradition that started at OSU in 1916 is no easy task, yet for wrestling coach John Smith and his wife, Toni, creating a family atmosphere around the sport has allowed for much success in his 16-year career at OSU. Toni Smith, who came to OSU in 1985 from Oologah, Okla., is glad her husband was able to find a coaching job in Oklahoma. “I could have ended up a long way from home,” Toni says. “It really was my dream to stay in Oklahoma.” John and Toni met as OSU students, and have never thought of leaving. While John coaches, Toni stays busy home-schooling their four children, ages 3, 5, 7 and 9. “One of the reasons we decided to home-school was because John has really odd hours,” Toni says. “That way, I can bring the kids up here to
see him during the day, especially when things get really crazy during the season.” The Smiths’ love for OSU and the Stillwater community is often transferred to the wrestlers who become part of the family. “Compared to more urban schools, OSU has more of a homey feel,” Toni says. “It’s such a welcoming place, and wrestling at OSU is like a big family.” Toni and the kids enjoy being able to show their support for the team. “I really love the matches,” Toni says. “The NCAA tournament is one of the most exciting times. Our oldest gets to travel with his dad quite a bit, and I think one of the best things for the kids is they are learning at a young age how to interact with adults.” Not only does Toni attend the matches, she also invites the recruits and the team
members to her house on a regular basis. At the Smiths’ house, the wrestlers are welcome to ride horses, play with the kids, eat dinner and just relax. “I love to cook, and it gives me an opportunity to take care of and feed a lot of boys who are good eaters,” she says. Over the years, both Toni and John have developed a parental mentality for the wrestlers on the team, especially those who have traveled from other states to wrestle at OSU. “When John started coaching, we were only three or four years older than most of the team,” Toni says. “Now, I’m as old as a lot of their mothers and older than a few. We are pseudo-parents for a number of boys on the team. “I feel like my kids, especially my boys, have a dream childhood,” Toni says. “They always have wrestlers wrestling with them and are
surrounded by all these elite athletes.” Toni says she’s enjoyed watching her husband develop as a coach as well as the program’s success under his control. “John never brings wrestling problems home,” Toni says. “I think that is the secret to a happy marriage with a coach. It’s like a doctor — any conversations he has with the boys are private. Past the starters, I don’t know who is not pulling their weight or having trouble in practice.”
“I always try to pull out the best thing I can find about him and the team and highlight that because so many people criticize coaches.”
photo / Phil Shockley
This provides a home where John can get away from the worries of coaching and just enjoy being a father and husband, Toni says, and allows her to focus on the positive sides of their family and their relationship. “Being a coach’s wife, I’ve learned to always be positive and never criticize,” Toni says. “I always try to pull out the best thing I can find about him and the team and highlight that because so many people criticize coaches. “I love being a coach’s wife,” she says. “We have such an opportunity to be involved in these boys’ lives at such a pivotal time. John gives good advice to his athletes. Some have come back after they’ve had families of their own, and it’s so great to hear what a good influence John was on their life, not as a coach, but ethically and morally.”
Toni Smith says she and her husband, John Smith, wrestling coach, have developed a parental mentality toward the student-athletes on the team. 33