Rising

HEALTH ISSUE | APRIL 2021

I’ll never forget the moment I made that decision. It was done with the best of intentions, but it would take me more than 20 years to unravel the ripple effects I’d set in motion.

I grew up in the 1980s in a household that was anything but progressive. Things like massage and chiropractic care were considered questionable at best, associated with either red-light districts or con artists. Anything that might have to do with guides, angels, quantum mechanics or intangible intelligence like intuition was called crazy and fake. Those who did things like meditate, become vegetarian, practice yoga, or follow non-western philosophies of any kind were written off as old hippies and freaks – people to dismiss and stay away from. My brother and I were part of the fi rst generation of latch-key kids. We got ourselves up in the mornings, had whatever sugary cereal was in the cabinet, and walked to school by ourselves. In the afternoons, let ourselves in, watched cartoons, shot hoops in front of the house, or did some homework until our parents got home. Dad would watch whatever he wanted on TV while mom got dinner taken care of. Weekends, most often involved the guys taking off to go fi shing or skiing, or out to the garage to work on a car while mom and I took care of chores. We weren’t a family that talked much. Emotions were for bottling up. Dinner was for eating as quickly as possible and getting it over with. If we wanted something, we worked to earn the money to buy it. Little was said if we did things right, but mistakes were defi nitely noticed. Nothing was free or easy.

Even the weather had its way with us. Doppler technology wasn’t in common usage yet, and since the Pacifi c Northwest is considered a rainforest, rain was about the only thing we could count on about nine months out of the year. I’ve heard that Portlanders have almost as many words for various kinds of “rain” as Eskimos do for snow. That wouldn’t surprise me. Even with today’s Doppler technology, the forecast barely stays ahead of the weather’s moodiness.

Back then, like today, there are a few truisms we embrace:

• Always wear layers. No matter what the weather is right now, it will change. • If it’s raining hard, just wait a minute or two for it to stop or let up. Then make a run for it.

• The person with the umbrella is most likely an out-of-towner or new transplant. The rest of us gave up a long time ago.

• If you’re not willing to do it in the rain, you’ll never get it done. • And, as Jeff Foxworthy once pointed out, we do have four distinct seasons: Fall, Winter, Spring and Construction. Plan your drive time accordingly. That was the world I spent my most formative years being molded and shaped by, and the reason I made that decision.

I was in fi fth grade. Since weather reports were a running joke, but I walked to and from school, I’d gotten into the habit of stopping by my closet each morning and asking, “Do I need my umbrella today?” It never occurred to me to wonder who or what I was asking. I just asked. Sometimes it was a feeling, sometimes a “yes” or “no” in my head, but whatever the response was, I’d go with it. For me, it was as normal and natural as getting dressed or brushing my teeth.

That particular day happened to be a beautiful, sunny, Spring morning. Weather reports all said it was going to be dry the rest of the week. While that was usually a sign that it would be dry at least for that day, I stopped by my closet as usual anyway. When I got to school, I noticed I was the only one with an umbrella, so I tried to hide it before anyone made fun of me for carrying it while the skies were so blue. Instead, I heard, “Oh no! Lori brought her umbrella. We’re going to get wet today!” I don’t know who said it, but I felt like I’d gotten caught with my hand in the cookie jar. When I turned around, the entire class was staring at me and I knew two things: 1. What I was doing was NOT normal. 2. It was accurate enough that others noticed, even though I hadn’t talked about it to anyone.

My teacher mumbled something about being intuitive, and then distracted the class with a task. That evening, I asked my parents what “intuition” meant. Dad scoffed and said it was something others say they have only to take advantage of people. Mom said it wasn’t real and not to worry about it. They’re wrong. The knowing raced through every cell of my being. “I’ll hide it,” my little kid brain decided without fully grasping what it would require. My instinct was protective but the problem was that the only way to really hide my intuition was to stop acting on it. After all, the other kids had noticed simply by observing. Ultimately, it really meant learning to ignore it entirely.

It took me until my mid-20s to fi nd someone that I could talk to who wouldn’t scoff at it or dismiss it. It was another few years before I fi nally began to rebuild my relationship with what I now call my Wise One Within. Those years in between were the most diffi cult of my life. My intuition was still there trying to guide me, but I was too afraid to follow it for fear of upsetting others, being misunderstood or not fi tting in. Yet, each time I ignored it, the consequences were painful and I’d look back and think, “I knew better.” My inability to trust myself further eroded my self-esteem, and with it, my dreams. Instead, I focused on becoming what others expected of me.

HEALTH ISSUE | APRIL 2021

The road back to fully embracing my intuitive gifts has been as long and diffi cult – and is still ongoing. But there are a few truisms I’ve come to embrace:

•Like any relationship, it takes time to develop and will unfold and deepen as you go. Be patient.

• You’ll make mistakes. There will be misunderstandings and things to work through, but like our most precious relationships, it’s worth the work.

• Unlike any other relationship, this Wise One Within (WOW) has never left and will never leave. Its love is simple, pure, reliable and real – no matter how human we may be. • While the relationship is as unique and individual as we are, our emotions are inextricably tied to Its ability to guide us. If we don’t allow ourselves to feel, we cut ourselves off from the WOW of our life.

• Our WOW won’t make any logical sense – which is where the trust and courage to listen must be developed – and it will never lead us astray. • We have a choice. As Caroline Myss once pointed out, we will ALWAYS live out the dreams we came to this life to live. It’s just a matter of how: in regret, in mediocrity, or to their fullest. Our WOW is the guide to our fullest, most satisfying life, but we have the free will to choose to follow It or not.

• It WANTS us to be happy – without strings, expectations or any other baggage. That’s Its only job; Its reason for being: to help us live a WOW kind of life. For those who’ve been separated from their inner guidance for any length of time: you’re not alone. Rebuilding that relationship will take time and patience. It can help to seek out and connect with others who’re exploring the possibilities, but make sure to do what feels right for you. Honor your feelings and your boundaries. Your WOW won’t mind and it won’t give up. It will welcome you back whenever you’re ready.

Lori Anne Rising is an international award-winning author, a spiritual and intuitive mentor, and host of “You Rising!” Her work challenges old paradigms, and reconnects women with their Wise One Within to empower, inspire and reawaken their life’s purpose and passion. Learn more at https://podspout.app/loriannerising.