THE LONG-WINDED GUIDE TO FINDING A JOB ANYWHERE
Text: Parusha Lewis
Does the act of looking for love ever end in finding a loving relationship? Likewise, does the act of searching for a job lead to finding the one you’ve always wanted? In my experience, looking for love does not in any way manifest a loving, beautiful relationship. If anything, potential love interests are repelled by determination (often read as desperation) or the abundance of keen. Right now, I am applying for all the jobs that I can find on the Guardian website, Monster.com, Reed, Gumtree, Holdthefrontpage, Journalism.co.uk, Journalismjobsinlondon.blogspot, PFJ, and more. I have been doing this everyday for the last three weeks and have had three fruitless job interviews. This search for jobs reminds me of when I was single and went on fewand-far-between one-off dates that were a total waste of time apart from lifting my spirits temporarily during the prospective sms-ing phase. Looking back, I seemed to amble along, happily most of the time. Then often I limped, wounded on the playing field (intended outcome not met).
While injured, I would interview my seemingly venerable, oh-so-happy friends (credibility gained by excelling at their coupled lives). What could I be doing that pushes boys away, I asked. Is there something fundamentally wrong with me? Don’t I seem like a nice person? To which they’d reply, ‘Off course you’re nice, you’re a lovely girl, and if I were a guy I would want a girlfriend like you.’ That always made me happy, and with my ego mildly inflated by the thought of hypothetical success I’d think, ‘ I just haven’t found the right one yet, that’s all.’ Then, I’d carry on looking for that elusive love. With hindsight I realise that seeking out love is rather quixotic, unless you are an ugly British man on holiday in south east Asia, out to bag a Thai bride. In this case, the fact that you’re 35, work in a post room and live with your parents, won’t do anything but bump up your status. You will exude an air of respect for your family (elaborate on the truth a bit, if you wish, and you’ll be seen as the head of the household taking care of your ageing folks, not visa versa).