SPIRITUALITY
B
eing a spiritual servant and a child of God is no easy feat. When you are busy with the hustle and bustle of the world, you oftentimes forget about the important things. You over-commit, you stretch yourself thin, and you neglect your loved ones. Most of all, you neglect yourself. You do not take time for prayer and meditation—that spiritual yin and yang that we each need to ensure balance along our journey.
You begin selfactualize—that is, you begin to understand your deeper purpose and potential.
It is easy to get caught up. It is easy to forget to eat, to exercise, to pray, to meditate. It is easy to forget to be grateful for all the things in your life that you have—because you keep longing for more. In his 1943 paper, A Theory of Human Motivation, and his later book, Motivation and Personality, psychologist Abraham Maslow described a hierarchy of needs. In this hierarchy, he intimates that human beings must first meet one level in order to move onto the higher levels. As you climb higher in the hierarchy, you begin to self-actualize—that is, you begin to understand your deeper purpose and potential. You begin to connect the dots between your true basic physiological needs and your wants— and then you begin to accept your life. The journey is not an easy one—there is no roadmap for self-actualization, because each person brings with her years of experiences, years of happiness and sadness, and years of generational “stuff”. Let me talk to you about six things you can do to climb the hierarchy toward selfactualization. The journey is continuous, you will certainly slip and slide, but you will also leap and soar. 1. Break the chains of psychological bondage. Many families have stories, good and bad, to pass down throughout their generations. If yours is one of dysfunction, you must consciously decide that you will break the cycles of guilt and shame.
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2. Give without expectations of return sentiments. We are not all raised in the same households, so expecting others to respond to you in the same manner in which you behave is self-destructive and will take a toll on your soul. If you perform an act of kindness, do it and walk away knowing that you did it joyously, with no expectation of reciprocity. 3. Forgive… yourself and others. Understand that other people are also traveling on their own paths to self-actualization, and that they may indeed mistreat you. You may even mistreat yourself. Forgiveness does not mean that you forget. You learn the lesson and move on. It is OK to love people from a distance. 4. Take responsibility for your actions and how they affect others. Learn empathy and compassion. If you hurt someone, apologize. If you misunderstood someone, ask for clarity. Understand that you cannot make excuses for your behavior because of generational edict. You must stand on your own and create your own accountability. 5. Let your light shine! Live joyously and light the way for others. Express yourself knowing that others around you will absorb and reflect your light! One of my favorite passages, Our Deepest Fear, is by Marianne Williamson. In fact, I printed and framed it for my oldest son while he was a pre-teen. My family members made magnets as tokens for my bridal shower. Not only do I believe every word of this quote, I try to live it. Of course there are days that my light is dulled by worldly happenings, but I remain steadfast in my journey. 6. Accept yourself. Know your strengths, limitations and areas for improvement. Superstar Beyonce Knowles, sang a song called “Flaws and All” where she described being a train wreck in the morning. Know your peak times and your low points. Become selfaware. Begin to understand your happiness triggers and your sadness triggers. Only when you begin to self-realize, will you be able to freely listen to what the Universe is truly offering. That, my friends, I believe, is Peace and Love. n Dorna Werdelin
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