Whenever something happens to us, particularly at the hands of another person, we immediately look at ourselves as victim and wonder what we did wrong. But the truth of the matter is that we didn’t do anything wrong. NOTHING. Your behavior was not the reason or the catalyst that someone else did what they did. They did what they did because that’s what they wanted to do. It had everything to do with them and really nothing to do with you. I know that sounds crazy and it is counter-intuitive, but think about it this way: when a person makes a decision as to how they are going to react, it has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you. Whether it’s a harsh word, a physical act, or a strike against someone we love, WE decide how or if we are going to respond. Which means that the response truly has nothing to do with the other person and everything to do with US. One morning, I was sitting waiting for my mother to get ready for church. I did my nails and got my hair together. I was dressed, my makeup was done, and my phone was fully charged. I was ready to go. The only thing missing was my mom. My husband had gone on earlier. My daughter was out of town. It was just the two of us. When my mom came out of her room, she apologize for running a little behind. I chuckled because I had decided that I was not going to get angry. I looked at her, laughed, and said, “How long have you been my mom?”
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See, at some point we have to decide how we are going to deal with certain situations. I had decided that I was not going to be angry and that I was just going to do other things until it was time to leave. My response had NOTHING to do with her being late and or about us running behind. It was how I wanted to feel and how I wanted to react. Life is just like that. That is not to say that when someone does something to hurt us that we won’t sometimes react in a way that is instinctual. But we are human beings, some of the most (if not the most) evolved beings on this planet. We have a choice as to how we are going to respond. And so we have to make a decision as to whether we are going to allow instinct to rule us and therefore control our Destiny, or if we are going to use our God-given intellect and spiritual intelligence to be everything that we want to be. Our decisions have everything to do with us. And when we behave in a way that resonates with love, then others are automatically included. ■
Nothing to do with You