The
Rainbow Reporter http://www.bnaikeshet.org/
August 2014
Volume XXXVl, No.3-4
From Our Co-Presidents
Rabbi Elliott
Never Retreat! (Except Every Spring with BK.)
Tefillin
Av 5774
Shortly after my thirteenth birthday but before my Bar Mitzvah, I was given a set of tefillin from my havurah. I remember them being purchased at a Judaica shop on Fairfax Avenue in Los Angeles, where I also got to pick out a sky blue velour kippah with silver piping. The bag for these tefillin was red with gold lettering and my father told me that it used belong to my grandfather Eddy.
The Rainbow Reporter is not quite a daily publication, much less a blog, so by the time you’re reading this it won’t exactly be news. But as we write this, memories of BK’s spring retreat are fresh in our minds. Memories including: • A spirited tisch with fascinating discussion of inclusion, in both educational settings and at BK, lubricated by fine bourbon. photo by Dan Epstein • Praying on Shabbat morning in an arbor (our retreats are at the Reconstructionist Movement’s summer camp in the Poconos) beside a lake – and the children, led by Rabbi Ariann, processing songfully with theTorah to join us at the conclusion of their service.
• Lincoln, our congregational troubadour, leading a campfire sing-along until the wee hours of the night (or was it morning?). • Meditation led by Rabbi Elliott (even Craig tried it, and he’s not much known for his Zen sensibilities) and tai chi. • Sports and games, including the return of “Jewpardy” (with some questions submitted from Switzerland, courtesy of our far-flung correspondent SarahWolman). • Walks in the woods. • A thoughtful study session led by Rabbi Ariann in the gazebo, with the Noah story as springboard. • Some rain, but not for too long and not at all dampening of spirits. There was much more, but hopefully you get the idea. BetsyTessler, our stalwart long-time co-chair, and Alvaro Donado, her new partner in crime, did an amazing job – their organizing talents exceeded only by their infectious enthusiasm – and we can’t thank them enough. But why are we writing about this now, for you to read months after the fact? Because BK’s retreats are a microcosm and intense manifestation of what we’re all about, which is being and becoming a community. Living with one another, even for just a weekend, with the myriad opportunities for relaxed, informal time together, thickens our web of connectivity. continued on page 2
For about a month my dad, woke me up a little early and together we would put on tefillin and read through some of the prayers in the old Reform siddurs we had. He also took me to a little morning minyan a couple of times before school. Then one day he said, “Well now you know how to lay tefillin. It is up to you if you want to keep doing it.” He went back to reading the paper in the morning. I did it few times on my own and then went back to sleeping a little later. Even though I hardly touched my tefillin again or thought of them until I was just about ready to go to rabbinical school, I was grateful to have learned. When I finally got out the New Jewish Catalogue (inherited from my father’s bookshelf) to relearn how to put them on, I felt like I was walking into something familiar. When I pray on weekdays (tefillin is not worn on Shabbat or most holidays) I love wearing my tefillin. For me they offer a physical embrace that helps propel me into prayer. I like that they are a solid effort to embody the command to keep God at the forefront of ones thoughts and actions. I also love that they are hand made. I now use tefillin written and constructed by, Dov, the scribe who taught my wife Sarah scribal arts in Jerusalem. He gave me his best deal, for the least expensive boxes he could in good faith recommend. They are twice the size of the tefillin I got for my 13th birthday and five times as expensive. I bought them with student loan money and they are beautiful. I have been thinking more and more about how I want the continued on page 2
August 2014
Rabbi Elliott continued
Co-Presidents continued
students at Bnai Keshet to have the experience as 7th graders of learning how to put on tefillin. That even if they don’t keep using them after they learn, that they should like me, have a physical memory of having learned. That as teens, or young adults or parents they should have access to this powerful component in Jewish prayer technology.
“You’re Canadian? Who knew?” “You went toYoung Judea camps, too?” “I was born Jewish, but didn’t start taking it seriously until recently.” “I know what you mean; we’re navigating our child’s emotional challenges, too.” “I’ve also struggled with depression.”
I have also been thinking that my old bar mitzvah tefillin might be better off in our Bet Midrash than sitting unused in a drawer at home. And I have been wondering how many similar sets of tefillin we might collectively have just sitting in drawers. If you have such a set, my first bit of advice is to take them out and put them on and pray. If you can’t remember how, give me or Rabbi Ariann a call. Or better yet come to morning minyan or meditation and someone will help you. If you have an extra set or if you are certain that you won’t be using yours any time soon, why don’t you lend them to the Bnai Keshet Bet Midrash so that we can use them to teach 7th graders how to lay tefillin? Shalom, Rabbi Elliott
Only connect. When we know each other better, when there’s empathy born of knowledge and fellow-feeling, we’re better positioned to be the congregation to which we all aspire – one in which we celebrate together and mourn together, laugh together at life’s small ironies and hold each other up through its inevitable tragedies, be there for each other and be open to letting others do so for us. It’s a magical thing, community, when it happens. A mediating institution between family, which is wonderful but sometimes not sufficient, and the big wide world out there, which can be inspiring but is too enormous and abstract to offer succor. What makes Bnai Keshet so meaningful is that we are a real community. We care about each other, and we do so in the context of a tradition with limitless lessons to teach us about how to live better and serve each other, and the world beyond our bounds, better. It’s a gift and a blessing and a very precious thing. It didn’t happen automatically, and it won’t get deeper unless we make it so, together – unless we reach out to host or attend a congregational dinner to get to know some fellow congregants better; unless we are mindful of those who feel “in but not of” our congregation and work to make them feel like the “insiders” they already are even if they don’t know it; unless we commit to the work of community over and over and over – as BK’ers have since our courageous founders were meeting in a garage. Let us endeavor to bring the spirit of the retreat even more deeply into our year-round congregational life, on South Fullerton and elsewhere. And let us vow to bring our congregational spirit and ourselves to the retreat. We look forward to seeing you -- yes: you – there next spring. Richard and Craig
A Yahrzeit Wall for BK Rabbi Elliot in Israel with BK youth
Money-saving Tip from Harvey Susswein, VP Finance With stock markets near all-time highs, some of you may own appreciated stocks. Did you know that you can pay your synagogue commitments by donating stock? You avoid all capital gains taxes and can still take the full value of the stock as a charitable contribution to the extent permissible by law. Such a deal!! Donating stock is easy and convenient. Call the office for details.
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I am excited to tell you about developing plans to install a Yahrzeit Wall & Contemplation Corner at BK. Members of the committee, Richard Polton, Elaine Gongora, Larry Drill, Cheryl Slutzky and I have met with designers and are coming close to finalizing the overall design for the memorial installation itself and an area to sit quietly with the names and memories that the wall will honor. We believe that we have hit upon an innovative, artistic and efficient way to honor our dear ones and memorialize their legacies for future generations. Our goal is to present the complete design to the congregation and start the installation process by the early autumn. Betty Murphy
Av 5774
of the time. The second is to place yourself within that practice as far as you are comfortable, to learn by observing others’ practice and asking for help, and to make yourself visible while doing it - to your children, to other people’s children, to other adults who are searching for their own practice. And the third is to take an active role in shaping the practice that you hope will be replicated by the next generation at Bnai Keshet and beyond. Figure out who’s watching you - what do you want them to learn?
Rabbi Ariann S
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Judaism is often called a mimetic tradition. This means that the practices of Judaism were historically passed down primarily through replication, through observing and copying the things that our parents and other community members did. For example, how does one learn how to pray? I grew up watching the men in shul shuckle and the women gossip and sometimes the other way around, so I pretty much know what shul is for (shuckling and gossip, obviously) and what prayer looks like. And in my house we always lit Shabbat candles and said Friday night blessings with fraying dish rags over our heads, we didn’t wear kippot of course, so that absurd little practice seems not only reasonable but essential to me. If you didn’t imbibe these or other lessons growing up, figuring out what prayer is all about in the context of synagogue life and home practice is a much more complicated endeavor. One of the principles of organizing Jewish life as Reconstructionists is to consciously evolve Jewish practice with an eye toward the core of our values and the meaningful continuity of our Jewish “folkways.” You might have heard the quip, “the past has a vote, not a veto.” That argument is used to justify retaining Hebrew prayer while doing away with non-egalitarian practice in the service. Or retaining the rubric of kashrut while also saying that fair trade coffee and dairy potlucks are essential components of our Jewish food practice. But what if your past didn’t include Hebrew prayer - because your childhood temple sang Adon Olam in English, because you didn’t pray at all on the kibbutz or at Camp Kinderland, because you come from a long, proud line of secular Jews, or because you are a Jew by choice? What if your past didn’t include kashrut - because your movement rejected it on ideological grounds, because “pork is kosher as long as it’s in Chinese food,” or because your family settled so long ago in such a far-flung diaspora that kashrut became utterly impractical? My point is that mimesis, that process of replicating the past by observation and thereby securing a coherent practical religious history for ourselves, is a complicated game in the age of consciously crafted Jewish community. Yet it remains the best way we have to build a Jewish future and to gain confidence in who we are as Jews and what our Jewish community is all about. There are ways to tackle this apparent dilemma. The first, which you’ve already done, is to join a community that has made decisions about its own practice - on issues of liturgy, education, ritual, social justice, etc. - and holds by them most
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It’s become a Bnai Keshet tradition to do a mitzvah during the week of matzah by volunteering with Habitat for Humanity in Paterson. So on April 17, about 15 volunteers from both BK and the First Congregational Church of Montclair (FCC) had a brief service at BK led by Rabbi Elliott, and then formed a caravan to Habitat’s headquarters. The group also included Rabbi Ariann and FCC’s Pastor Ann. We split up into two work groups: one at Rosa Park Place, where Habitat has built one home and renovated another. Tasks included shoveling an area where concrete steps were being poured, and unloading/then loading blue insulation material. After lunch back at headquarters, the groups gathered to a location
where more strenuous work—some were up on a scaffold—was being done. Braver folks were high up on an outside wall, hammering; or inside, building a stair landing. But there was plenty of schlepping for others to do outside. It’s a great feeling to know you’re even a small part of an effort so vital to the city; always nice to spend social time with others from BK; and an opportunity to meet the Habitat for Humanity staff and some lovely folks from First Congregational Church as well. -Susan Cohen
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August 2014
Introducing Our Newest Members Y
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Todah Rabah to the outgoing Board members and Craig Levine and Richard Freedman for their time and service. Todah Rabah to the new Board members and Marty Fellner and Liz Lipner for agreeing to accept the challenges of leadership for the new term. Congratulations to Ellen Friedland on the honor of being chosen by NJBIZ, a business publication, as one of New Jersey’s 50 most dynamic women in business of 2014. According to The Montclair Times, which contacted the NJBIZ, Ellen was recognized for her commitment to her family as well as her businesses: V&V, a video production company and JEMGLO, a Montclair-based film company that focuses on Jewish culture and environmental topics. Congratulations to Deb Levy on the publication of her book, Bury the Hot. 4
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On June 13th, 2014 some of us from BK went to a wonderful all-day conference on Racial & Ethnic Diversity in the Jewish Community. The program was co-sponsored by UJA Federation of New York and Bechol Lashon (In Every Tongue). Bechol Lashon’s mission is to imagine and work towards “a new global Judaism that transcends differences in geography, ethnicity, class, race, ritual practice, and beliefs.” With a large room full of Jews of every ethnicity and race, Vanessa Hildary whose stage name is “The Hebrew Mamita” started off our morning. She gave a D’var Torah in a poetry slam manner that if titled may have been known as: “You’re Jewish?” (https://www. youtube.com/watch?v=yAeWyGGTdEE ). Her artistry was followed by learning through personal reflections as we explored particular issues unique to different segments of the Jewish community told by personal stories of an African-American Jew-by-Choice; an Indian Jew, and a Cuban Rabbi.
• Jews of Color and multiracial families feel no barriers to their religious, educational, and social participation in your institution. • There is a committee or group specifically created to address the issue of inclusion at the synagogue. • Jews of color and a diversity of Jewish practices are represented in materials, advertising, holidays and Shabbat. • Do leaders explore different melodies to reflect varying Jewish communities i.e. Sephardic, Black American, Middle Eastern melodies. The above list is a springboard for synagogues to focus on issues of inclusion. It is a tool to assess existing welcoming initiatives and determine actionable and measurable goals for the future. Let us commit to looking into the soul of our shul, Bnai Keshet, and celebrate what we are doing well and recognize what needs changing!
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In a new study celebrating Jewish diversity, 1.2 million or 20% of Jewish population in the United States is African-American, Asian, Latino, Sephardic, Mizrahi, and mixed race. The 2011 Jewish Community Study for NY found that broke down to: 33% Hispanic, 21% White with Multiracial household, 21% Black, 6% Asian, Pacific Islander, 19% Biracial or Mixed Race.Diane Tobin, the co-founder of Bechol Lashon, and Aryeh Weinberg wrote eloquently in the article “Racial Diversity and the American Jewish Community,” (2014) that the Jewish people have always been a very diverse and global people. “How the Jewish community addresses race and embraces racial diversity has a broad impact on whether the Jewish community is seen as aligned with or in conflict with the increasing integration of communities.” This is seen as a litmus test in determining if the Judaism is compatible with the many affiliations a person and his/her family may embrace. One over-riding message from many of the speakers focused on first understanding how WELCOMING an organization is to Jews of Color and multiracial families. The Jewish Multiracial Network put together an interesting Assessment Measure that can be used to see if organizations are reaching the goal of being truly inclusive of multiracial Jewish families and Jews of Color. These require conscious action and sensitivity. The following are part of the Inclusivity Measure: • Jews of Color make up an integral part of the Jewish community, serving on committees, participating in services, planning programs, and enrolling in Hebrew school. • The synagogue hosts programs or events specifically for or about Jews of Color. • The synagogue education for both adults and children includes significant amount of materials by Jews of Color. • Clergy, staff and congregants understand the history of Jews of Color and the multiple racial & ethnic groups that they belong to. • Sermons & speeches during holidays address congregants of color • Jews of Color are staff, clergy, board members
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We would like to express our gratitude to everyone who volunteered to make our week hosting three families from Interfaith Hospitality Network [IHN] go so smoothly. Whether you helped with setting up Red Gables or schlepped luggage on move in day, donated snacks or cooked and joined guests for a meal, let us borrow toys or visited and spent time chatting with our visitors or entertaining the little ones, drove to the laundromat or took one of the overnight shifts, or assisted with move out day and clean up…your contribution to our collective effort to welcome strangers during a very difficult time in their lives is sincerely appreciated. TODAH RABAH TO Kevin & Nora Fried, Susan Youdovin, Ruth Davis, Sarah O’Leary & Akiva, Sue, Barry & Doris Zeger, Janet & Alan Berman, Dinah Hendon, Will Pew, Fabio Sgarro, Ivy Fischer & Deb Glessner, Marie Ben Israel, Marion Jacobson and Jasper & Simone, Mindy Rosenthal, Monica Rawicz & Hallel Shapiro, Lauren Meyer, Wendy & Abigail Callaghan, Ellen & Marshall Kolba, Linda Fisher, Jen, Samara & Amanda Zinman, Cindy Helfman, Craig Levine,Yael, Tacy & Tova Silverberg-Urian, Noemi Giszpenc, Jon & Cathy Grupper, Jill & Phil Jeszeck, Howard Kerbel, Jack & Debbie Hall, Stuart Brown, Nadia Christiansen, Rabbi Ariann and Cindy Herman. SAVE THE WEEK OF JULY 19-26, 2015! Plan ahead to help with next year’s IHN hosting! Beth Fuqua, Anne Gelman & Jane Susswein
• Clergy, staff and congregants are familiar with the challenges Jews
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Living OurValues (LOV) represents our community’s commitment to Jewish ideals as evidenced by our many initiatives within and beyond the synagogue. Sustaining that commitment requires broad participation, both through doing and through giving. We’ve named our annual giving campaign Living Our Values to highlight that connection. Living OurValues ensures that Bnai Keshet will continue to be there for us, our families, friends and the wider community. In just the past year, examples of our “values in action” included: • Welcoming the stranger, whether it’s opening High Holy Day services to all who want to attend, greeting a visitor at services, getting new and older members together over dinner or hosting homeless families as part of the Interfaith Hospitality Network • Valuing a broad range of people and families -- married, single, traditional, LGBT, interfaith, multiracial, multicultural, younger, older, with and without children -- and treating everyone with respect • Educating all children, including those with special needs, regardless of ability to pay • Educating adults who want to learn, read, study and discuss issues of Jewish and social action significance • Hesed, caring for our own who may be ill, troubled or incapacitated, and extending our help and services to families experiencing a death through our chevra kadisha (burial society) • Participating in and sponsoring tikkun olam programs to help “repair the world” -- Habitat for Humanity, MESH (Montclair Emergency Services for the Homeless), St. Paul’s Emergency Men’s Shelter in Paterson (together with our friends at the Islamic Center) and participation in coalitions fighting gun violence • Celebrating holidays, laughing and having fun together as a community, whether it’s Sukkot, Purim, bnai mitzvah, the annual Roabst or a brunch for new members • Praying together, listening to divrei Torah, words of wisdom (and challenge) delivered by our fellow members and bnai mitzvah, socializing after services, celebrating simchas and comforting mourners Why do we need to fundraise? Didn’t we just retire the synagogue mortgage? In 2012, Bnai Keshet took the huge step of paying off the mortgage balance of $1.2 million on our sanctuary. We accomplished this through the generosity of a group of synagogue members who contributed $600,000 and a magnificent outside gift of like amount. This event verges on a miracle to those so inclined. Freeing our budget from paying debt service reduced — but did not eliminate — the synagogue annual deficit. Part of the savings allowed us to make much needed investments in the quality of our religious school, including full time rabbinical oversight, special needs accommodation, and teacher upgrades. We also were able to address a list of deferred (and overdue) maintenance items for our two buildings. Bnai Keshet realizes a substantial amount of income each year from dues, school tuition, and various member payments. But it remains the case, and likely to remain so for the foreseeable future, that roughly 10% of our budget relies on gifts and fundraising events. For Bnai Keshet, that equates to $90,000 to $100,000 to be raised annually. These deficit and fundraising amounts are typical for synagogues in general, including those like us who own their buildings. Won’t other large gifts to Bnai Keshet eliminate the need for additional member giving? Bnai Keshet has built up a modest endowment over time, roughly $110,000 accumulated over our 36 years of existence. The synagogue’s Board of Directors adopted the policy that 90% of any new large gifts will be placed in an endowment for Bnai Keshet, not to be utilized for day-to-day expenses. Annually, any investment gains from an endowment could be used for operating budget purposes. As other institutions have learned the hard way, it is not prudent policy to view an endowment as a “cookie jar” to be raided on a weekly or monthly basis. While the periodic income generated by any endowment will be a welcome source of income, it will not change our fundamental financial picture. Fundraising through Living OurValues will remain a tangible opportunity for all members to participate in sustaining our spiritual community. Thanks to SusanYoudovin, Harvey Susswein, and Andrea Peyser for contributing to this article
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Celebrate your family and friends or remember a beloved one with a Bnai Keshet donation. Whether it is a life cycle event, a special occasion, a remembrance of a beloved person, or just to let someone you know that you appreciate them, turn to Bnai Keshet to recognize the event or moment. Your donation will also help Bnai Keshet.
Tributes
Prayerbook
What is a Tribute? A tribute is a great way to tell someone you care. Perhaps you wish to acknowledge a life cycle event, a simcha, or just let someone know youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re thinking of them. Your tribute in celebration or in memory of someone will be listed on the website and also on a list distributed at Shabbat services. The recipient of your tribute will receive an immediate e-mail announcement. Nonmember recipients will receive a card via US mail. We welcome any donation, but suggest that it be given in increments of chai, $18.
Donating a prayerbook is a wonderful way to keep our supply fresh and growing. A bookplate with your name will be placed in the book you donate. Check the web for designs.
Bnai Keshet Bookplate
1) Go to the Bnai Keshet website, bnaikeshet.org
Celebrate and remember with a Bnai Keshet bookplate. Whether it is a life cycle event, a special occasion, or to honor a dearly beloved with a lasting memorial, dedicate a Shabbat siddur, a humash, or a High Holy Day mahzor to your family or friends. A bookplate will be placed in the book of your choice along with your personal inscription. Each time the book is opened your dedication will be reaffirmed.
Siddur - $36 Humash - $54 High Holy Day Mahzor - $72
Ways to make your donation:
2) Contact the synagogue office via email with the necessary information at bnaikeshet@bnaikeshet.org 3) Mail or drop off the information and payment to the synagogue office, 99 S. Fullerton Ave. Montclair, NJ 07042
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August 2014
The Rainbow Reporter Bnai Keshet’s Quarterly Newsletter
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Editors: Laurie Waite-Fellner & Lois Infeld Associate Editor: Judith Kalmanson
Rabbi:
Elliott Tepperman
Director of Congregational Learning:
Assistant Rabbi: Rabbi Ariann Weitzman
Contact Lois at: lois_infeld6@hotmail.com
Co-Presidents:
Richard Freedman & Craig Levine
Rabbi’s Study: 973-783-2511 E-mail: rabbielliott@bnaikeshet.org
VP Religious Life:
Jordan Sklar
We welcome articles
Rabbi Elliott Tepperman
Rabbi Ariann Weitzman,
VP Membership & Community Development:
Cheryl Marshall-Petricoff
VP Tikkun Olam:
Yael Silverberg-Urian
VP Development:
Sharon Pollack
VP Education:
Ruth Lowenkron
VP Finance:
Harvey Susswein
VP Communications:
Marian Golan
Director of Operations:
Stuart Brown
Assistant Director of Operations:
Nadia Christiansen
School Office: 973-746-0244 E-mail: rabbiariann@bnaikeshet.org Synagogue Office (Mon. – Fri.)
Synagogue office: 973-746-4889 Fax: 973-746-4963 E-mail: bnaikeshet@bnaikeshet.org Website: www.bnaikeshet.org Please contact Stuart Brown, Director of Operations, for more information.