B8 Friday, April 4, 2014 - The Morning Star
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No one likes the friendship police
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ear Annie: My husband and I were great friends with my sister and her husband. When we separated, my ex
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continued to hang out with them because they liked to drink and do drugs together. After the divorce, they stopped seeing him. I just found out that they rekindled the friendship when my sister met his new wife at a party for one of my grandchildren. That was a year ago. I feel betrayed, hurt, angry and very disappointed. When I spoke to my sister, she said, “You’ve been divorced for a long time, and your ex has been friends with my husband for years.” This is not true. Once the divorce was final, they had no contact until last year. Am I wrong? Is it all right for them to be friends again knowing how I feel? — Kicked Again Dear Kicked: We understand that you want your sister to be
annie's mailbox
Kathy Mitchell & MarcySugar supportive, but if she and her husband have a relationship with your ex and his wife (likely due to the drugs and alcohol), it really is no longer your business. We know this isn’t what you want to hear, but trying to control someone else’s friendships tends to backfire. Instead of convincing your sister to stop socializing with your ex, your protests likely will create an estrangement between you and your sister. You can ask her not to invite him to family functions where you will be present. However,
since you have children (and grandchildren) with your ex, it is unrealistic to think you will never bump into them. It is in your best interests to learn how to tolerate their presence when necessary. Dear Annie: While I do not consider myself a gourmet chef, I do take a lot of pride in my cooking. I go to a lot of trouble to get the seasoning just right. The problem is, my husband takes one look or maybe a taste and then immediately drenches his food in hot sauce. It really hurts my feelings. Am I being oversensitive? — Proud Woman Dear Proud: We assume other people enjoy your cooking, so please don’t take this so personally. It’s not as if your husband says you need a pinch more salt or a sprinkling of oreg-
ano. Drenching food in hot sauce says that your husband likes the taste of hot sauce and likely cannot taste much of anything else. If he doesn’t put hot sauce on it, it has no flavour at all. His taste buds may not be salvageable, although you could ask him to please taste the food before altering it. But we suggest you save your more elaborate efforts for those who can appreciate them. Dear Annie: Now that I am retired, I finally have time to read the paper every day. I enjoy your column and agree completely with your advice to “Aunt,” who asked about registries for graduation gifts. However, in your response you said that “it is wrong to send out notices inferring that the recipient is obligated.” I would like to respect-
fully correct your choice of words: “Infer” means to interpret or to deduce from what the sender “implies.” The word you should have used is “implying.” — Another Reader Dear Reader: You are absolutely right, and you weren’t the only one to point it out. We knew better, and it still slid right by us. (Some days, we are more overwhelmed than others.) Six lashes with a wet noodle for us. Dear Annie: This is in response to “Uncomfortable,” the daughter-in-law who feels awkward calling her mother-in-law “Mom.” I have a wonderful daughter-in-law who calls me “Mil” or Millie. And when I text or phone, I call her Dil. Those are our own personal nicknames, and they work for us. — MIL
Harold Rhenisch. “He’s helped a lot of young writers and many young adult and children’s authors, and he is waiting to help you this March and April at the library.” Drop off your stories at the information desk or by e-mailing svollick@orl.bc.ca. Deadline to enter is April 30 at 9 p.m. The Hope Project is the writing contest for adults. Do you have a story of renewal, rebirth or revival? “To celebrate our renewal after the flood of the winter freeze of 2014, the Vernon library wants to help you bring it to the world,” said Rule. “We have prizes, an online magazine for publishing your work, a gala reading at the launch of the library on May 2, and all the help and encouragement you
need from our writerin-residence, Harold Rhenisch, to bring your story to the Okanagan and the world. “Perhaps your story is about tragedy overcome, or new love, or the joy of childhood, faith found on the Camino, or a deep psychological tale only you can unfold. Maybe it’s historical. Maybe it’s lyrical, or funny as can be, or a mystery that leads to the light. Maybe it’s a short story. Maybe it’s an anecdote. Maybe it’s a poem. We know you have it in you, though. “Let’s make a library of these stories to share. After all, spring is coming.” Please submit your entries to khennings@ orl.bc.ca. Deadline to enter is April 30 at 9 p.m. There are plenty of prizes in store: for kids
under eight, first place is a $50 gift certificate to a local book store; second place is a popup book making kit and storyworld kit; third place is two books and a spinner of crayons. For kids ages nine to 11, first place is a $50 gift certificate to a local bookstore; second place is a pocket microscope, a book, and a writing notebook; third place is two books. For ages 12 and up, first place is a Kobo eReader; second place is five books of your choice; third is two books of your choice For adults, first place is $250 cash; second place is a Kobo Glo; third place is a $50 gift certificate to a local bookstore As well, the Vernon Friends of the Library will provide every entry into the story contest a $5 coupon for their May book sale! The Vernon library is at 2800-30th Ave. Remember, the library is open during the restorations, so please pop in and get inspired by the Orange Story Tent! For more information, please call 250-5427610 or visit www.orl. bc.ca.
Writers of all ages invited to enter library contest Morning Star Staff
The Vernon Friends of the Library, the Vernon writer-in-residence and the staff at the Vernon library are pleased to present the silver lining to February’s flooding, with two writing contests, one for kids and one for adults. The Orange Story Tent writing contest is for kids in three categories: ages eight and under; ages nine to 11 and ages 12 to 15. “The Vernon branch of Okanagan Regional Library is very orange these days,” said ORL communications manager Michele Rule. “Big orange tarps cover most of the first floor. What is
going on behind them? Is the world becoming orange? Are all the books going to taste like oranges now? Are the words extra juicy? Are the workmen building something extra special for us back there? Is it going to be a zoo full of orange animals? Only you can tell us, with your imagination.” If you are a kid age 15 or under, the library wants your stories and your poems, and your drawings of the world behind the big orange tent. And if you need help, drop in Mondays after school or anytime you want to come by and talk to the library’s writer-in-residence,
Locusts. Exodus 10:4: “If thou (Pharaoh) refuse to let my people (Israel) go, tomorrow I will bring the locusts into thy coast.” Locusts: arbeh: to increase; multiplies quicker than anything in creation. Swarms over 400 square miles; non stop flying for 17 hours; cruise at 10-12 m.p.h. for 20 hours. Eats its own weight in one day. They were dreaded in Egypt. John the Baptist ate them, Mth. 3:4. The locusts were sent by God against His people because of persistent rebellion and sin.