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www.pqbnews.com
Thursday, August 1, 2013 The Parksville Qualicum Beach News
North of Qualicum Beach turn left on Exit 75 2715 Turnbull Rd.
OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK
COUNTRY ARTISAN FAIR
Saturday, AUG. 3RD•10am to 3pm
The Pine RV Sites
NOW OPEN!
250-619-8047
Parksville Bottle & Recycling Depot Ltd. Return These and Earn Cash: ✔ Aluminum Cans: Pop, Juice, Beer ✔ Plastics: Water, Pop, Juice, Wine, Spirits (labels on; lids off) ✔ Glass Bottles: Water, Juice, Liquor, Beer (labels on, lids off) ✔ Tetra Paks: Juice only (empty; flattened) ✔ Gabletops: Juice only ✔ Bi-Metals: Juice (empty; labels on) ✔ Non-Ferrous Metals: Aluminum, Copper, Brass ✔ Automotive Batteries
PLEASE NOTE: FOR FASTER SERVICE Please sort your recyclables by item type before visiting us. Roll-off containers available for site clean ups.
Return These and Save the Environment: ✔ Small Appliances ✔ All Milk & Milk Substitute Beverage Containers (capless, cleaned & crushed)
Bottle Drives are our Specialty
Hazards of printed words
O
ne of the hazards of having your words in print is the potential for appearing ridiculous. No matter how carefully some people proofread their material, occasional egregious errors slip through. For instance, one small-town newspaper, which shall remain nameless, allegedly announced this headline to the world: “Stu- By Ray Smit dents Cook & Serve Grandparents.” Now I know our attitudes toward the elderly are changing but surely there are other ways to address overpopulation. The article went on to explain that it was a German school. Our German friends are often portrayed less than favorably in the media, but I assure you, as a person with German antecedents, there’s absolutely nothing suspicious in the bratwurst. Another newspaper in Sante Fe, New Mexico came up with this headline: “Man who kills lawyer receives new attorney.” And you think you have a dangerous job. Tragically, the most inept headline of recent years came from a British news service that purportedly ran the caption, “Diana was still alive hours before she died.” They also headlined it as an “EXCLUSIVE.” Which just goes to prove to those of you who think journalists are extraordinarily intelligent, that the facts beg to differ. Of course, it isn’t just journalists who make mistakes. Sometimes the advertisements in our newspapers are just as mystifying. My favourites are the classifieds placed by realtors.
PQ
Here are a few particular head-scratchers from around the country: “Lovely 2nd floor apartment. Take the stairs or take the elevator. The choice is completely up to you!” Wow. Only a quarter of a million dollars and think of the fun I’ll have choosing which blissful option pleases me most. Why, it’s almost like Christmas! Long-time readers will know that my hall of fame winner came from a Nanaimo realtor in the early 1980’s. She was selling acreages that were newly connected to city services. Unfortunately, no one double-checked her caption, which read, “Half-acre Sewer!” Generally speaking, I’d have preferred a swimming pool. But apparently even effluent has its place. Of course, not every property is hooked up to city services. For instance, consider this ad: “No sewer connection. This is a good holding property.” I can’t argue with that. Living there you wouldn’t have much choice but to hold it, would you? The simple truth is that almost anyone can make a mistake. Of course, seasoned writers like myself are diligent and use modern computerized software to prevent these unfortunate errors. Yes, aye fore Juan, due knot make miss takes. Eye all weighs ewes my spell cheque. That whey my peace is rite awl the thyme. Know knead two thank me. I’m a professional.
RAYVIEW
Park it at The Pine!
www.pineridgefarm.ca
COLUMN
✔ Plastic Bags ✔ Cardboard (clean; flattened) ✔ Paint, Aerosol Cans, Pesticides & Gas ✔ Electronics eg. Computers, TVs, Stereos, etc. ✔ Free Metal Drop Off ✔ Household Glass
611A Alberni Hwy., Parksville, BC (250) 248-0224 We are conveniently open 7 days a week, 8am to 6pm. (Closed on stat holidays)
CARBON-NEUTRAL RECOGNITION
Qualicum Beach wins award The Town of Qualicum Beach has been awarded the “Achievement of Carbon Neutrality” Level 3 from the joint provincial-Union of B.C. Municipalities Green Communities Committee for meeting the goal of corporate carbon neutrality for the 2012 reporting year. Since becoming a signatory to the Climate Action Charter in 2007, the town has demon-
strated a commitment to work with the province and the UBCM to take action on climate change and to reduce greenhouse gas emission in the community and corporate operations. 2012 is the first year that local governments are required to report on their progress in achieving their carbon neutral goal under the Climate Action Charter. —Submitted by Town of Qualicum Beach
Worship With Us
Sunday, Aug. 4th - 10:00am
Evelyn’s Barber Shop
SINGING FOR JOY!
Wednesdays, Aug. 7 & 14, 7-8:30pm You will sing favourite hymns and anthems, experience the fun of singing in harmony. All are invited to join us just for the pure joy of singing.
Knox United Church
Corner of Pym and Humphrey, Parksville
ce@kucparksville.ca R001506211-1230DN-Lakeside 250-248-3927 offi www.kucparksville.ca
250-752-8407
Tuesday - Saturday by appointment
Independent & Supportive Living for Seniors Our Referral Program
You
each receives
$ 2,000 Friend + = $1,000 Call for details *upon move-in
~ on Long Lake ~ Referring Party New Resident 4088 Wellesley Ave., Nanaimo • 250-756-0799 • www.unicarehomes.com
Join us for Canada Day Celebrations!