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Friday, December 14, 2012 - The Morning Star B9
Life
Knives are there for a reason
D
ear Annie: I have been married to “Nancy” for 51 years. The day of our wedding, I was 167 pounds with a full head of hair. Now I am 181 pounds and bald. Nancy was always a Rubens type, which was fine with me. After giving birth to our first child, she lost more than 20 pounds, and even her father was impressed. However, two more children followed, and her weight went up to what it was before. Now, at age 75, she is obese. She has trouble with her ankles and can barely move. She refuses to use a cane or a walker. We constantly argue. She is beginning to look ugly to me. I want to leave, but I can’t because she cannot live alone. I am depressed. If I die before she does, she will be on her own because our children work, are struggling financially and have their own kids to raise. They have spoken to their mother about the possibility of a retirement home, and she says, “Absolutely not.” — West Valley Dear West: Some of this is not within your control — your wife’s weight and what happens after you die. It is selfish of her to put this type of burden on her children, so you might want to discuss it directly with them, making contingency plans in case she should outlive you. There are alternatives to retirement homes, including in-home care or one of the children taking Mom in. You, however, are stressed over this
and having a rough time. Please talk to your doctor about it. Dear Annie: My mother-in-law is not a true hoarder, but she’s definitely a packrat. Her house has drawers, cabinets and boxes filled with unfinished craft pieces, papers so old you can’t read the faded print, moldy magazines, dried paint, cracked pottery, broken candy dishes and junk tucked into nooks and crannies so deep no one has seen the contents in years. She is the only one who knows where anything important might be “filed.” She is widowed and retired and has the time and the physical ability to go through this stuff. Her two children help with yard work and home improvement, but they don’t have time to pick through her collections. My mother-in-law is not depressed. She’s just lazy and has poor organizational skills. She spends too much time watching TV and e-mailing. I am hoping she might recognize herself in your column. How can I convince her to declutter before it’s too late? — Don’t Want To Pick Through the Weeds Dear Don’t: If Mom has poor organizational skills, the idea of going through her vast collection of miscellany is both overwhelming and paralyzing. She needs someone to assist her, one drawer at a time, perhaps once a week, to make it manageable. You could offer to do this or suggest it to another family member. Or hire a
annie's mailbox
Kathy mitchell & marcy sugar
professional organizer. And it’s possible that Mom’s church or other community organization has volunteers who might help out. Dear Annie: This is for “Devastated Daughter,” whose father died suddenly. Now she is conflicted about going away to college, because she worries about leaving her mother alone. I agree with your advice that she should go as planned. Here’s my message to her: Dear Daughter: Your concern for your mother is a beautiful testament to your relationship. She is concerned for you, too. The best gift you could give her is to follow your dreams, live
according to the values you have learned from a loving family and succeed as an independent young woman. Yes, she may occasionally break down. But she will go on, and it will be much easier if she knows you are OK. — Thinking of You in the South Dear Annie: Please address a common breach of basic table manners. I see folks who should know better use their index finger to push all sorts of food onto their forks. This includes beans, rice, peas, etc. There is always a perfectly good knife alongside their plates, but they don’t use it. “Finger food” is one thing, but this extends the definition too far, and it is absolutely disgusting. Are some people so lazy that they are not willing to pick up their knives? — Mr. Manners Dear Mr. Manners: Maybe, but we will give
“The lofty looks of man,” Isaiah 2:11. God’s righteousness and majesty must remain supreme and His purpose must be fulfilled. His judgements have a 2-fold purpose: 1st bring men to their senses, 2nd rooting out evil. Israel has forsaken God and God was about to forsake them. Moses warned, “They worship the work of their own hands.” When man bows down to man the result is pride and haughtiness. But the day of God comes on everyone that is ‘proud and lofty.’ Isaiah 2:12.
them the benefit of the doubt and assume they simply do not know any better. In addition to one’s knife, it is permissible to use a piece of bread to push such things onto a fork, but it is not good manners to use your fingers to do so. If these people are your children, you may correct them. Otherwise, you will simply have to hold your tongue and set a good example.
The Haugen Medical Group wishes to announce
Dr. Maureen Clement is leaving her Armstrong Family Practice as of February 1st, 2013
Dr. Clement will continue to be available for her Diabetes Consulting Practice at the Vernon Jubilee Hospital Diabetes Centre After 32 years, it is with sadness and appreciation that she says goodbye to her longtime patients. They will continue to be cared for by the Haugen Medical Group Physicians
VDACL Venture Training would like to thank the following for supporting our 9th Annual Celebration of Trees & Art Auction: 4 Seasons Motor Sports, Advertising Works, Andrew Sheret, Antique Imports, Armstrong Optometry, Art Knapp’s Plant Land, Bean to Cup, Attridge Ski & Board, Baron Insurance, Best Western Vernon Lodge, Big O Tires, Bonnie Meikle, Books Are Fun, Brandon, Paris, Damien & Isaiah, Bob Duncan, Brewmart, Briteland Towne & Country, Buy Low Foods, Capri Insurance, Carol Lasuta, Cecil Schmidt, City of Vernon, Cloverdale Paint, Coldstream Golf Course, Courtesy Motors, Debra Pool, Diane Evans & Mark Hampton, Dr. Brian Clark Dental Office, Driving Hands, Dundee Wealth, Elaine Invarity, Eric Foster MLA, Greg Heuman, Healthy Spot Pet, Hillview Golf Course, HiPro Sportswear, Home Building Centre, Interior Gift Gallery, Janet Cunningham, Interior Mobile Shredding, Interior Savings Credit Union, Joanne Petz, Jonathan Speckel, Josh Dueck, John and Mary Milne, Kevin Rothwell, Kal Tire, KISS FM, Jan Makortoff, Lincoln Lanes, Linda Donhauser, London Drugs, Nolan’s Pharmasave, M&M Meat Shop, Madeline Taylor, May Wilson, North Shore Heart Group, OK Valley College Massage Therapy, Okanagan Network Services, Okanagan Spring Brewery, Okanagan Glass, Okanagan Network Services, Prospera Credit Union, Ray Hampton, Partly Dave’s Neighborhood Garage, Royal Bank, Safeway, Scotia Bank, Scott Wilson, Shelly Kopera, Shoppers Drug Mart, Starbucks, Sundance Pool & Spa, Spallumcheen Golf & Country Club, Surplus Herbies, Talon Benefits, Thomas Pool, VDACL Board, Participants & Staff, Vernon Art Centre, Vernon Lock & Safe, Vernon Medical Supplies, Village Green Hotel, Wesbild Centre. Your contributions and time are greatly appreciated! We wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy 2013!
Ruth’s appointment calendar used to be the TV Guide … now her calendar is full! OPEN HOUSE Saturday
10 am - 1 pm
A few years ago, Ruth used to go to the movies with friends. After losing her driver’s license, new TV shows were the only things that broke up her day-to-day routine.
Now that Ruth lives in a Chartwell residence, she’s learned how to use the game system instead of the TV remote control and every day is filled with new friends and experiences.
Quick Occupancy Available on some units.
We have a variety of suite styles to fit most budgets. Supportive and Assisted Living
CARRINGTON PLACE RETIREMENT RESIDENCE
4651 23 rd Street, Vernon, BC • www.chartwellreit.ca • Please call Twyla 250-545-5704 to book your personal visit.