April 2014 - Urban Suburban Magazine

Printed in China

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or sometimes by both.

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Introducing a New Contributor

NIKKI PURVY Nicole “Nikki� Purvy is a freelance web designer & business development consultant with extensive experience in web design, search engine optimization, graphic design, and social media networking and email marketing. She works with companies and individuals to create, establish, and build their brands both online and in the physical world. She has been responsible for developing and marketing an arsenal of businesses such as a luxury exotic rental car company, a nightclub/ restaurant, a footwear brand, a basketball league, and a film.

Currently, Nikki resides on both coasts in Philadelphia and Los Angeles. Prior to becoming a freelance web designer and business development consultant, she had a successful career as finance professional, excelling at jobs such as Institutional Fixed Income Trader and Retail Fixed Income Trader. Nikki has a B.A. in Finance from Temple University (2005).

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Jennifer S. Matthews is a noted author, motivational speaker, and is trained as a financial coach. She is the author of the award-winning book 12 Ways to Put Money in Your Pocket Every Month Without A Part Time Job.

Candace Smith is a native Philadelphian and graduate of Syracuse University (BA) and City University of London (MA). After spending a few years living in London, Candace returned to Philadelphia and continues to forge a career as a freelance journalist, writer, blogger, actress, and host. Besides interviewing intriguing personalities for Urban/Suburban Magazine, she is also currently contributing her knowledge and skills to various artistic movements, publications, websites, and podcasts such as REP Radio, AFFRM, Tinsel and Tine, and Hipolitics.

Denise James is a seasoned journalist whose passion is telling stories that reflect people’s truths in empowering ways. Denise began her career at WGPR TV & Radio in Detroit. WGPR was America’s first black owned television station. There she hosted a live morning talk show, reported for the evening news and produced special segments focused on people and issues shaping the times. morning talk show, reported for the evening news and produced special segments focused on people and issues shaping the times.

She has worked at network affiliate TV stations in Greensboro and Durham, North Carolina as well as 6abc Action News in Philadelphia. She has covered everything from education and celebrities to crime, politics and the Ku Klux Klan.

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Matt Schmidt works as the Graphic Design Team Lead for Urban Suburban Magazine. Since he graduated from Virginia Commonwealth University in 2010, he has been designing various material, from logos to brochures, for clients within the Philadelphia area.

Dr. Irene Okech holds a PhD in Public Health and an MBA in Healthcare Management Policy. Her research interests are in Pediatric health outcomes, & Maternal and child health policies. A young and upcoming leader, she is also a spokesperson for the disparities faced by women and children in rural Africa. Dr. Okech is the co-founder of Imbako Public Health, an organization that seeks to allay disparities in healthcare and education faced by women and children in rural Kenya.

Kyle Leishear has been a Tech & Gadget enthusiast his whole life. Even as a child when he would break something he would try to fix it. That led him to a life of always trying to stay on top of the latest and greatest technologies and seeing how they work.

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Publisher’s Opinion Sometimes it’s as simple as it appears. If you refuse to throw litter into the street, it will not be as dirty as it appears in your neighborhood. Recently, I was driving through Alabama to New Orleans. I must confess that this highway along Route 10 was perhaps the cleanest highway I’ve ever seen. I mean I didn’t see one piece of trash, litter or debris the entire stretch of highway. Now don’t get me wrong I know people in Alabama litter but what I saw was worth noting. Sometimes it’s as simple as it appears. I mean I look at the transformation of parts of the city like East Oak Lane, South Street, Manayunk and Passyunk Avenue but wonder why not Point Breeze Avenue. . I see the transformation coming. Could it be the poverty level? Why happen between 1980 and now?

I vividly recall not a single vacant store front existed. Fur-

niture stores, meat market, pharmacy to name a few. Is it as simple as our best and brightest have abandoned this inner city neighborhood for greener pastures like Mt. Airy, New Jersey and Delaware? Could it be so simple that better schools and professional interaction between teacher and parent were the driving force behind their exit strategy or could it be purely about safety?

Sometimes it’s as simple as it appears to be. People work hard and simply want a clean, safe and fun filled neighborhood with a diverse environment. Why shouldn’t everyone be able to sit on the sidewalk at their neighbor-

hood restaurant and enjoy a cup of coffee or a nice conversation without fear of violence?

Why do residence have to leave their neighborhood to enjoy a nice peaceful evening? I guess that’s the problem the people in East Oak Lane, Manayunk, Chestnut Hill and South Street can simple stroll around their neighborhoods and enjoy a simple evening.

Change is still coming Point Breeze but it’s up to you either put your thinking cap on and invest in your neighborhood or get left behind.

Sometimes it’s as simple as it appears. urbansuburbanmagazine.com Philadelphia 13

Legal 36 Should I File for Bankruptcy?

Relationships 64 Keeping the Love Alive After the Kids Arrive

Real Estate 54 Philadelphia Square Biz

Business Profiles 26 Lidyr and Replica

Education 24 We Love to Read

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Meet the Gleesons

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In a time when almost half of heterosexual marriages end in divorce and gay couples are fighting to be given the same opportunity to either improve or add to the statistics...

Declining Wealth in Black America Let’s look at some numbers and see where we are as a people.

News 59 Who’s Next? Philly’s New Political Visionaries

Sports 18 NBA All Star Weekend

Do It Yourself 28 10 Easy Steps for Planning a Dinner Party

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Photo credit: Becca McGirney

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“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, said Jojen.

The man who never reads lives only one.”

- George R.R. Martin, A Dance with Dragons

Think Home

It’s so tempting to repaint, repaper, buy a new sofa, hang different pictures when you want to make over your home. Is that effort and expense worth it, if they still fight with the space’s basic structure, the flow, and the way you want to use your home? Time spent thinking about all that will make your changes so much better. Think Home, by Judith Wilson, guides you through that process so you can envision your dream home and make it a reality. Professional designers and architects who’ve created the perfect spaces for the homeowners they’ve worked with weigh in with advice on all of the elements (from a well-planned budget, to creative lighting, bold color, customized storage) that can lead to a beautiful home. Color photos.

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Sugar Hill

Take a walk through Harlem’s Sugar Hill and meet the amazing people who made this neighborhood legendary. With upbeat rhymes and read-aloud text, Sugar Hill celebrates the neighborhood that successful African Americans first called home in the 1920s. Children raised in Sugar Hill looked up to these achievers and experienced culture at home, at church, and in the community.

Books, music and art expanded their horizons beyond the limits of segregation.Includes brief biographies of jazz greats Duke Ellington, Count Basie, Sonny Rollins and Miles Davis; artists Aaron Douglas and Faith Ringgold; entertainers Lena Horne and the Nicholas Brothers; writer Zora Neale Hurston; civil rights leader W. E. B. DuBois; and lawyer Thurgood Marshall.

The artwork by illustrator R. Gregory Christie is gorgeous, colorful and inspiring. So much fire!

Easy for little ones to follow and full of enough golden chunks of information to keep anyone enraptured, this gem of a book celebrates a time when arts and culture were vibrant parts of the lives of many black families and reminds us of the contributions of black achievers such as Zora Neale Hurston, Count Basie, and Thurgood Marshall. I was blown away by this very important book and immediately wanted as many eyes, young and old, on it as possible.

Odyssey

Sovereign James wakes up one morning to discover that he’s gone blind. Sovereign’s doctors can’t find anything wrong with him, and he doesn’t remember any physical or psychological trauma.

But unless his sight returns, Sovereign’s 25-year career in human resources will end. A couple of weeks later, he is violently mugged on the street. His sight briefly, miraculously returns during the attack: for a few seconds, he can see as well as hear a young female bystander’s cries of distress.

Now he must grapple with two questions: What caused him to lose his vision—and why does violence restore it? As Sovereign searches for the woman he glimpsed, he will be forced to re-examine his most closely held beliefs about race and about himself.

The Ex Wife

Ayana Blue really should have seen this coming. Every week on her top-rated radio talk show, Girlfriend Confidential, Ayana dishes out advice about love, men and relationships. But when Ayana lets her own guard down, it may mean the end of her career-or worse.Real estate agent Cameron Small caters to Atlanta’s rich and famous. But when Ayana shows up to look for a condo, it’s not Cam’s client list that impresses her-it’s his knockout physique and his devastating charm.

He’s in the middle of a divorce and he’s got a kid, but hey, everyone’s got a past. Besides, she’s just this side of plus-sized, and when she feels Cam’s eyes caressing her, it drives her wild. That day, Cam finds her the perfect place, and that night, he finds himself in bed with her.Next morning, Ayana’s on the air, and practically walking on air, when an irate caller brings her back to earth with a thud. It’s Yasmin, Cam’s soon-to-be-ex-wife, but she sure doesn’t sound very ex...and she knows Ayana slept with Cam. The drama that ensues is anything but confidential, and Ayana is in way too deep.In The Ex-Wife, award-winning author Candice Dow tells a drama-filled tale of passion, jealousyand cheating hearts.

Becoming Mrs. Right

Shauntae, a.k.a. Satan’s Little Sister, is back! She may not have the sharpest mind, but she knows that her figure can get any guy to do what she wants. Devon Wright, her baby daddy, is the exception. He took their daughter Brianna and got as far away from Shauntae’s clutches as he could.

Realizing Devon had moved on with his new, Christian wife Cassandra, Shauntae moved on herself-to another pregnancy, this time with good-guy Gary, who’s determined to bring Shauntae back to God’s graces. But that’s not going to be easy. As Shauntae gets up to her old tricks, she stands to lose Gary and everything their relationship has to offer her. But maybe even Satan’s Little Sister can clean up her act. If so, she’d better get a move on!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Essence® bestselling author Sherri L. Lewis worked as a physician in a women’s prison before pursuing writing and ministry full time. The author of Finding Mrs. Wright urbansuburbanmagazine.com Philadelphia 25

Here are some top flight entrepreneurs making thing happen. The New Power Generation. They are Hip, Professional, Stylish and doing it their way -Nikki Purvy, Owner Operator

Custom Neon by Empress Signs LLC.

We specialize in creating outstanding custom neon signs and lighting that promote distinguish-ability, positive consumer attention, and increased traffic for the businesses we serve.

Eileen Thompkins

Eileen Thompkins began her profession as a freelance artist in 1995 and was taught the art of glass bending at a notable, full service sign company located in Southwest Philadelphia in 1989.

Lidyr Creative Marketing Agency

Lidyr Creative is a full service agency specializing in branding, creative ad development, web design, social media marketing, SEO, & graphic design.

Phone 267.519.7514 Email inquiries@lidyr.com Website http://lidyr.com

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Thompkins opened Empress Signs LLC in 1997 for the purpose of manufacturing Custom Neon Signs and Lighting. Her goal was to create neon sign products that are artistically fabricated and distinguishable.

Your Source for Custom Neon Signs & Lighting Since 1995’ (856) 784-2767, http://www.empressSigns.com/ m the commercial neon signage so common to our business landscape today.

Empress Signs LLC specializes in creating outstanding custom neon signs and lighting that promote distinguish-ability, positive consumer attention, and increased traffic for the businesses we serve.

Neon Still Life - Bread Basket

Replica Creative

Replica is in the business of Graphic Design, Digital Copying and Printing. Large format printing and document enlargements are also part of Replica’s portfolio. Our current client base are educational institutions, civic and business organizations throughout the tri-state area of Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Delaware.

Keith Leapheart

Since the age of 11, Keith’s life has been defined by entrepreneurship starting with what his middle school teachers referenced as an “illegal” candy business that he operated as a student in the Philadelphia School District. Undeterred, Keith then used his business acumen to ascend to the role of “head paperboy” in his West Oak Lane neighborhood.

Luckily, these events would not be the highlight of his career as he successfully matriculated from Central High School then to Hampton University, graduating with a B.S. in Biology in 1996.

In 2003, Keith completed a five-year dual degree DO/MBA program at Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine and Saint Joseph’s University respectively. Despite the inherent challenges of a dual degree program, Keith successfully operated both a commercial cleaning and event planning business during that period. It was those entrepreneurial pursuits that gave him his initial exposure to the fascinating design and print worlds, and led him to aggressively pursue a greater interest in the industry. As the Brand Manager of Replica, he works with the team to create the strategic vision for the brand.

His strong interpersonal skills help to bolster relationships with both current and future clients.

Soko Inc Event Planning & Marketing Services Kenya Felton, President and Chief Marketing Executive Soko Inc is a full-service Event Planning and Marketing Company, providing services to corporate, non-profit, retail and entertainment companies.

Our primary goal is to provide quality, innovative services to our clients that are also cost effective in today’s market.

From creative concept and brand strategy to flawless execution, we work with our clients to develop and produce seamless special events and brand-building marketing & media campaigns.

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Step One One Month Before Decision Time, Choose an appropriate theme, should you decide to go this route.

Decide whether it will be an elegant soiree or a cozy supper, then think about a theme in terms of season, occasion, and guest list. Make, buy, or borrow any related decorations you might need.

Step Two Invitations.

You can mail, phone, and e-mail invites as each are all acceptable; because this is a family and close friend’s event you can relax and or skip a written invitation but if you are a perfectionist you can select something simple from a staples and print it yourself.

The devil is in the details as you will need to include the date and time. In addition, you will need a deadline to RSVP (a week before party day), your address, and suggested attire should you so desire. .

Planning a menu

Here are a few pics that speak to the “Anatomy of a Dinner Party” so start planning early and proceed cautiously. This is not for the faint of heart... LOL Plan a simple menu, shop in advance, you can’t invite everyone so plan on hosting more events over the season, year or whenever. Take it slow but rejoice in a small intimate evening before you have to go back into parent mode.

It’s 2014 and it’s time to reconnect with friends and family. So as busy as we are with work, dance schedules, basketball practice and running. Life is too short. So commit to once a month, once a quarter to just engage with those you don’t see that often. You can’t always run a marathon or work long hours but family and friends are forever. Think about it.

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Keep it simple, including make-ahead dishes if possible (so you don’t spend too much time running in and out of the kitchen), and take the weather into consideration as we know it’s winter time and anything can happen.

Step Three Three Weeks Before Come up with a playlist but again keep it simple

this are your friends and or family. The focus is on conversation and engagement.

Perhaps a CD or use or your playlist on your Iphone would be appropriate.

Step Four

a discount or thrift store or borrowing—don’t be afraid to mix compatible patterns. Allocate a serving dish for each menu item, and label the dish with a Post-it note.

Make a detailed shopping list and cooking schedule.

Map out where you’ll buy each ingredient or beverage to streamline your shopping route. Rule of thumb: Calculate three bottles of wine for every four guests. Place an order with the local butcher, fish shop, baker, or liquor store as needed.

Two Weeks Before

Set the stage.

Clean any crystal, china, and silverware you’ll be using. Buy the paper plates and plastics forks if that’s what you’ll be using. I’m just saying.

Arrange the furniture as you’ll want it for the party, checking for the flow and removing any clutter. Designate a coffee table or side table for coffee and dessert if you wish. Figure out the lighting: Using low-wattage bulbs or candlelight will create the right mood.

P.S. Please wash the table cloth, launder and iron linens that may not have been used since Thanksgiving.

Create a seating plan if desired. Mix the couples together.

Step Six

Step Five

Two Days Before

One Week Before

Decorate.

Clean the house thoroughly.

Designate a place for coats.

To maintain it for the rest of the week, do a quick daily routine.

Take inventory of tableware, cookware, and serving dishes.

Lay out all your decorations.

Make space in a front closet and fill it with hangers, or designate a bed for coats (and make sure the room’s especially tidy and clear of valuables).

Shop for food and beverages.

If you don’t have enough for every dish you’re serving, consider purchasing inexpensive pieces from

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Step Seven One Day Before Set the table

Cook as much as you in advance including rising the salad, marinating and seasoning Conduct a thorough inspection of your home, entrance way, bathroom and steps. Clean again, if necessary.

Step Eight The Day of the Event Buy your flowers

Step Nine One Hour Before Clear your dishwasher in preparation for the conclusion of the event.

You’ll be tired and want to place the dishes in the dishwasher.

Change into your party clothes.

30 Minutes Before Light the candles, fireplace and mix the salad.

Open up a bottle of wine and take a sip‌..

Step Ten

Relax and enjoy all you hard work.

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by: Megan Biller It all started when I was two years old. My parents brought me to the magical land of Disney World, and I was hooked. I’ve been there at least 15 times since that first trip, including my honeymoon!

Every vacation there has been magical, even in the heat and humidity of Florida in August! Although most of this was due to the magic of Disney itself, it was also due to the tips I have learned, and the tricks we use frequently! Allow me to share a few with you so that your Disney vacation can be just as magical as mine are!

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Utilize Extra Magic Hours Being a Disney resort guest, your family can enter certain parks an hour early, or stay up to three hours later at night! These are great times to ride on those popular rides before crowds start to form, or when the crowds are leaving.

Take an Afternoon Break This is extremely important if you are traveling with kids, or are visiting in the summer. Taking a break from the parks in the afternoon allows you to enjoy your resort pool, or take a nap so you can ride more rides in the evening. It also lessens the chances of a mid-day breakdown in the middle of Main Street USA!

Make Dining Reservations Even if you are traveling during a value season, it is important to make dining reservations! It is very difficult to walk up to a restaurant and be able to have a meal. Disney allows you to make these 180 days before your arrival date, so research what restaurants you are interested in first, then make those reservations!

Use Disney’s FastPass Disney’s FASTPASS is available for any guest who has a park ticket.

Head to your favorite ride (that usually has a longer line) and put your park ticket in the kiosk. It will print out a ticket with a return time for you to come back to the ride, walk in a shorter line to the front of the line! After using your FASTPASS (or 2 hours after getting one) you can do the same for another ride. (Another note: if the stand-by line is 20 minutes or less, it is better to just wait in line.)

Explore the Resorts Disney’s attention to detail goes beyond the theme parks. Explore the resorts as well! At the Animal Kingdom Lodge, you can view animals outside the hotel room, roaming in the savannah. At the Polynesian Resort, listen to the sounds of the Pacific islands while relaxing on a white sand beach. At Coronado Springs Resort, explore ancient Mayan ruins. At the Boardwalk Resort, watch entertainers along the actual boardwalk! (Another note: If traveling around the holidays, the resorts are decorated with trees, lights and even gingerbread houses!)

The tips and tricks are endless! Each Disney vacation is different in its own way, but always magical! urbansuburbanmagazine.com Philadelphia 33

Muching with the Mouse The Best Disney Dining

I love the Disney Food Blog! The fact is that when you go to Disneyland or Walt Disney World, you’re going to be dining in and around the park. I encourage my clients to consider adding in the Disney Dining Plan to their Disney vacations to make things easier.

At Disneyland, the dining plans offer a great convenience.

It allows you to add the cost of a few meals and snacks into your total vacation price, which helps with budget planning. For my family, when the kids know that they each have a voucher good for one treat or snack – maybe it’s popcorn or a frozen treat – they are less likely to ask for everything they see, and they want to spend that voucher wisely!

At Walt Disney World, the dining plans are a convenience AND a tremendous value! They can save up to 10% on dining, which is a fabulous value. And, because I work with the Walt Disney Travel Company, there are several times during the year when I have their exclusive offer of “Complimentary Disney Dining” where your dining is included. It’s a great deal that you won’t find at your on-line travel agency, so be sure to ask if it’s available when you want to go to Orlando!

But, no matter how you choose to pay for your dining, the fact remains that you WILL be patronizing the restaurants, snack outlets and cafes when in the Disney theme parks. I love reviewing the Disney Food Blog for the latest news, dining suggestions, etc. If someone in your family has a special diet, Disney is known for providing plenty of options for gluten-free, lactose-free, sugar-free, etc., and the Disney Food Blog is a great place to get information on all of it.

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Q. Tell us about Fields of November. What’s it about? Why should we go see it?

Fields follows Sarah a young New York female who loses her fiance a year prior to the film’s opening. Sarah deals with the loss by not allowing herself any luxuries or fun, she does everything as a routine, at the same time etc. During one of her daily routines she runs into a man from her fiances past and it knocks her routine off track.

The film was shot with no script, and all dialog was improvised. We started with a 1 page outline, and filmed just about everything in real time. I am extremely happy with the result and have had a positive experience at the festivals it was in.

Q. This film was in the Urban Suburban Film Festival. How was that experience? Did you get a chance to see any other films?

Everyone at the festival was great and serious about film, very professional and well organized. I didn’t get to see a lot because I was only in town from New York for 1 day but I saw a few great shorts that were amazing.

Q. Where do you get your film ideas from?

The last few projects I’ve worked on have came out of challenges or experiments. Fields started as a way for me to experiment with improvisation and minimalism. I didn’t want to film something risky with a convoluted plot so I went the other way.

Q. Walk us through a day in Chad Ritchie’s shoes.

The past year has been very busy for me, I’m always editing. I run my own business and work full time overnight where I do most of my editing. I’m in post now on a feature, and pre production on another. I also produce content for YouTube and co-host an indie film-making podcast at IndieCore.org.

Q. What are you currently working on? Anything in the near future?

I’m in post on a feature “Claire is a Good Girl” which is a Black and White homage to French New Wave. The film focuses on a Franco-American Girl who comes to New York City to discover herself.

Q. If you could go back in time and direct any movie, which one would it be?

That is a great, but tough question! There’s plenty of films I have watched and said “Wow I wish I had that on my resume” but I’d have to say David Lynch’s Mulholland Drive would be my pick. And the fact that it started as a TV Pilot is simply astonishing.

Q. If you could co-star in a movie with any actor/actress, who would it be?

I’d have to say right now, Jeffery Wright.

He is such a versatile and underrated actor.

Q. Do you see yourself producing a full length film in the near future? *note* I’m in post on feature so this may be redundant?

Q. Making movies sounds like the best job. Tell us some of the not-sofun aspects of being a film director?

It’s fun when everything goes OK and you’re actually shooting and things are going well. Unfortunately, the problems that can arise are very extreme; money, locations, schedules, equipment, sound issues the list goes on and on. At the end of the day if you get what you want you will be happy, and sometimes you just have to make it through the hard to get there.

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W

hen you are having trouble paying your bills, it is easy to feel overwhelmed. You’ve thought about bankruptcy but you’ve overheard awful things about what it can do to your credit and your future. All you really want is a way to get out from beneath your debt and move on with your life. You possibly have creditors calling and sending frightening letters demanding payment. It can reach a point where you are scared to pick up the phone or check your mail. The truth is that filing bankruptcy is not a tragic ending but a new beginning and getting a fresh start without the weight of extreme debt holding you back. Bankruptcy is about starting over.

Individuals often become overwhelmed with unexpected interest credit card debt that is tough to manage. An unpredicted illness can also lead to large medical bills that are difficult to repay. Or an unpredicted decrease in income can lead to large credit card debt that you are unable to pay.

Many people end up filing for bankruptcy due to situations that were not in their control. People try to escape bank36 urbansuburbanmagazine.com Philadelphia

ruptcy but they don’t realize that it can actually hurt them in many situations. If you are thinking about filing bankruptcy, you should look into all the options available to you and get the help you need to make a smart choice. Things change in life and sporadically we face hard times. All types of bankruptcy are intended to give you the new start you deserve and allow you to take control of your financial position by living your life debt free.

The credit card business is making billions of dollars off high interest credit card debt. The credit card business also creates many complications for customers by repeatedly sending them additional credit cards with higher limits.

There are several different choices available to clients seeking debt relief. Bankruptcy law can be very multipart. You should take the time to comprehend all your choices before you make a decision and find the path that would be best for you. Definitely do some research on all the pros and cons of bankruptcy? You should also discuss alternatives to bankruptcy if you decide that another course of action would better fit your wishes.

Ask yourself the following questions: Are you behind on car payments?

Are you behind on your house payments?

Is your house facing foreclosure?

Are you using one credit card to pay another credit card?

Are they threatening to repossess your car?

Are you being sued by a creditor?

Are you worried your paychecks are going to be garnished?

Are you worried that creditors will seize your bank account or your tax refund?

Do you want a fresh start?

Do you want to start a new life?

Do I Qualify for Bankruptcy? Below are a few basic guidelines for bankruptcy: 1) You first must take a financial counseling course that is approved by the court.

2) Is your current monthly income more than the median income?

If the answer is yes then you will need to file a chapter 13 bankruptcy.

If your answer is no then you will need to file a chapter 7 bankruptcy.

3) In both cases you must take an approved Credit Counseling Course to get a discharge from your bankruptcy.

When the above complications are consistent occurrences, you’ll want to acquire more information about what filing a Bankruptcy can do to help you. There are bankruptcy laws intended to help you; seeking expert advice from bankruptcy attorneys will help.

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In a time when almost half of heterosexual marriages end in divorce and gay couples are fighting to be given the same opportunity to either improve or add to the statistics, Quincy LeNear Fields and Deondray Gossett, now known as Quincy and Deondray Gossfield (a combination of their last names), are somewhat of an anomaly.

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Living together, working together, playing together, and even sometimes fighting together, well, each other, Quincy (39) and Deondray (40) are approaching their 18th anniversary, which is a rarity for any couple, let alone two young gay black men.

After recently making their relationship official and getting married on live TV during the 56th Annual Grammy Awards, I decided to check in with these two amazing guys to hear firsthand how they’ve managed to make it this far.

First of all, thank you for taking time out of your crazy schedules to talk to me. I’ve technically known both of you for quite some time, mainly because of the entertainment business and the number of mutual friends we have, but I’ve come to realize that I don’t really know you. Although, when I saw you on The Grammys getting married I was like, “Of course.” [laughs] So please tell me, 18 years together (as of April 21, 2014), how did you get here?

Quincy: We met through mutual straight friends who thought

we had a lot in common as actors and writers. I had just relocated to Los Angeles from Chicago and was trying to get into the entertainment industry and Deondray had been working professionally for some time. They thought we had very similar personalities, talents, and goals and that we would probably be great friends.

Clearly, they were right. So how do you make it work?

Quincy: We’ve practically grown up together, having met in our early 20s to now being at the beginning of our 40s, we learned to accept each other through our many changes. I believe that we both have similar views and outlooks on life itself, and one of those being the practice of embracing change. We’ve been able to accept and embrace that about each other. We are not the same spritely little boys from 1996. Those changes have not always been congruent, but the ability to release those definitions we tend to place on one another allowed us to come back into alignment along this journey. We are all beautifully flawed and imperfect beings and accepting that about yourself allows you to accept that nature in others - that’s the basis of forgiveness. That ability is vital to any long-term relationship. At various points, we have pissed each other off, made mistakes, and

sometimes hurt each other, but there were lessons to be learned each time, and we grew stronger because we learned them.

Deondray: Open and honest communication. We learned a long time ago not to let wounds fester. They only end up becoming infected. It’s better to treat them while they’re still fresh. If you love someone, you can’t be that terribly afraid of the consequences for being honest. You should never hide your feelings and gripes for the fear of losing your partner. If that finite type of fear is what prevents you from speaking out, then you have an even deeper issue. Also know which battles are worth fighting for. Take inventory and try to understand which of your gripes are your own personal pet-peeves that you could perhaps solve within yourself and which problems are totally the responsibility of your partner (Hint: the latter is usually never true).

As a recently FULLY out lesbian myself, due in part to my current relationship and my desire to tell the world how happy I am, I’m curious, were both of you out with your families and/or the community before you got together or did the relationship prompt you to come out?

Deondray: I was out to most of my family and very close friends

before Quincy and I were together, however, Quincy was the very first boyfriend that I OPENY introduced to my family as my partner, so it still felt like coming out all over again. People had very little knowledge of my love life, even after I came out.

I had gotten so accustomed to keeping it hidden that I wasn’t compelled to share it with anyone. That all changed when I met Quincy.

Awww…

Quincy: I was not out anywhere in the beginning. When we met I was barely able to be out to myself. I fought myself and my feelings for quite some time. It was baby steps for me, but I fretted having the regrets of not ever knowing love like I know now because of being afraid of myself and the judgment of the world. So first I had to come out to me, then that freed me to be able to live truthfully over time to friends, family, and then the world.

Was your family supportive?

Deondray: Most were yes. My mom, stepmom, sisters, maternal grandmother, some cousins, and aunt were immediately

accepting. I hid it from my father a bit longer out of fear, but as it turned out he already knew and was the first person to ever talk about Quincy and I in the context of a couple. It was a huge relief and testament to my dad’s love for me. My paternal grandmother initially wasn’t happy at all and gave me an ultimatum: ‘go see a psychiatrist or never step foot in my house again.’ I chose to not step foot in her house again. I realize now that was probably a fear tactic and all that she could think to do to ‘save’ me, but I was young and took her for her word. Many years later, she made a complete 180 and fully accepted me and Quincy and often begged us to stay the night with her. Another testament of my grandmother’s love for me. Eventually most of the naysayers who TRULY loved me all came to accept us.

Quincy: Overall my family was supportive. Your parents always kinda know in the back of their heads, so it wasn’t necessarily a shock when I came out. My father, who is a Christian minister, told me, “Son, I always knew. I was just waiting for you to feel comfortable enough to tell me. Don’t ever let anything like that come in between us again.” My mom is very forward thinking and didn’t really care a bit. Her only concern was if I wanted to be a woman! [laughs] I’m had to assure her that I am very happy and comfortable with my male anatomy, I just happen to love urbansuburbanmagazine.com Philadelphia 39

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other male’s anatomies too. My grandmother was taken aback and angered in the beginning, but she too learned to accept that I was still the same grandson she knew and loved - “just cursed is all” - in her own understanding. [laughs] That’s too funny, especially about wanting to know if you wanted to be a woman. [laughs] Well, as I said earlier, 18 years is a long time for any couple, gay or straight, especially in this period of social media and the pressures of being “Facebook official” and literally having the world in your business, so in all this time, did you two ever breakup, take a break, or just simply have doubts that you weren’t going to make it?

Deondray: More than a few times, yes!! [laughs] We would go through knock ‘em down, drag ‘em out battles, literally. We would get physical. There were power struggles, financial woes, and fidelity issues.

Wow! Not a single relationship faux pas spared us. We often had to stop and reassess our commitment to each other. What I can always say is that in spite of our past problems, I fully and wholeheartedly knew that I didn’t want to live without him.

And I don’t mean that I just couldn’t be without him in my life, I needed him beside me. All the time. 24/7. 365. He was and still is my rock and biggest supporter. When we fought, the end goal was always to stay together. We’re matured older men now and all that passionate bickering has subsided. We stay angry now about 6 hours tops and that’s usually because we can’t sleep without embracing each other. [laughs] Quincy: In 18 years we’ve broken up twice, briefly. We have had our doubts and have gone through the gamut of changes and mistakes that many couples make. Relationships are work and not always easy work. Sometimes you want to throw in the towel or at least throw a few blows or some dishes. [laughs] We did all that and realized through it that there was so much more worth salvaging and celebrating than the clumsy mistakes we had made. It also made us realize that we really needed to be whole in ourselves to maintain. Nobody should complete you.

You should complete yourself. I can’t fix him. He can’t fix me.

We have to heal ourselves so that we can be good for one another. We were able to learn those things and it strengthened us.

Many people seek fulfillment from external sources and place impossible expectations on someone who needs just as much self-introspection and healing as they do. That is never healthy.

One primary goal of any relationship is making sure you, yourself, are complete, then you can build on that together.

Amen!

My girlfriend and I want to be like you when we grow up and start our own production company, but, uh, we definitely don’t want to have any ‘knock ‘em down, drag ‘em out’ battles, so the thought of living together AND working together is a little scary. When did you two start working together, who’s in

charge of what, and how has that been?

Deondray: Quincy and I officially started 2 Cents Productions in 1999, though we had been creative partners for the previous three years by default of living together and being in the same industry. Quincy and I both wear most of the same hats in our production company. Both of us are equally capable producers, directors, writers, show-runners, etc. This sometimes causes conflict because we’re both very sure of what we want when making a film project and sometimes our opinions are incongruent. We bicker about it, but ultimately we tend to acquiesce to each other if either of us is incredibly rigid about our opinions. It always ends up being good.

Quincy: It’s been both an experience I wouldn’t wish to share with anyone else and at times I wouldn’t wish it on anybody else. [laughs] Yet again, it has given us priceless lessons about ourselves. We’ve had our power struggles, creative differences, and all the things you have with any business or creative partnership - the difference is that others don’t have to take it home and sleep with them. One of the biggest hurdles has been maintaining our own creative identities and also nurturing that creative individuality - because we do so much together, people often view us interchangeably or as one person. That is something we have to navigate constantly.

I can see that… Gossfields. [laughs] I have a type A personality and I am a notorious Virgo - a very specific and singularly sighted perfectionist - and I’m an outspoken Chicagoan from a loud Black/Italian/Irish family too!

That is enough conflict for any relationship, let alone having to work with each other as well. I have had to learn when to stand down, step back, and allow Deondray to lead, to be heard, and to be seen. I would never intentionally try to monopolize our partnership, but I am the most vocal and opinionated of the two, so it can cause tiffs. It takes a great level of maturity for two artists to have to weave in and out of each other’s shadows.

We are still a work in progress, figuring out how to make sure our creative identities are fulfilled, while our relationship is being strengthened. It can be difficult, but it has been doable.

So, how did you end up getting married at The Grammys?

Deondray: A friend of ours gave our names to a friend of his who was hired to cast the 33 couples. It was a wide net. The criteria was: gay, committed, looking to get married soon, and speaks well on marriage equality issues. We were asked to write a short one-paragraph essay on how we met and what getting married on The Grammys would mean to us. We got the call that we had been chosen just a little bit before Christmas.

If that opportunity hadn’t presented itself, do you think you would be married today?

Quincy: Yes, probably at some point in 2014. We were considering it prior the Grammy opportunity.

Deondray: Yea, marriage was already in the plan before the

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casting call. Our Domestic Partnership was not much more than a bone thrown to those same sex couples seeking marriage in the state of California while Prop 8 was still being upheld. It had only a fraction of the rights and privileges of a real marriage.

I’m not a fraction of a person and I certainly am not paying a fraction of my taxes, so why am I getting only the fraction of the protections that I deserve after being with my husband for almost 16 years at the time?

I’m not sure how you can top getting married on The Grammys, but what’s next on your relationship wish list?

Deondray: To honeymoon in Venice, Italy.

Quincy: I guess topping that would be fathering a child with Halle Berry who gives birth live at the Academy Awards as we win our first Oscar. Just saying... stranger things have happened.

[LAUGHS HARD] Gentlemen, this has been a real treat for me, and hopefully for the readers, as well.

Any words of wisdom you’d like to share with other couples before we wrap up?

Deondray: Stick in there. Relationships don’t really begin until the butterflies stop flapping. It’s that crucial moment when you really get to see who it is you’ve been dating.

You’ve been running around with the secretary up ‘til that moment, now it’s time to deal with the boss. Communication is critical. Now is the time to really get to know her/him and for them to get to know you. Be open. Be vulnerable. Be honest.

Quincy: Love is love and matters of the heart don’t have a gender or sexual preference.

We are all trying to love and be loved in return.

Well, said. Thank you so much again for sharing your story and for being so real and vulnerable with me. Much appreciated. And here’s to another 18 years!

Readers, you can follow this magnificent powerhouse couple for more wisdom and words of advice on their Relationship Blog: Meet the Gossfields at www. meetthegossfields.com and on Twitter @thegossfields.

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Kellie R. Griffin

In this instance, I mean the golf grip of their hands, not the rubber grip on the shaft. When you think about it though, the full swing action begins with the golf grip, which will need to boost its relevance in getting it correct.

If your golf grip does not work, why should anything that comes after work? There is a unbiased grip for any golf enthusiast. That golf grip is when your arm hangs straight down from the shoulder socket and the direction of your target side hand.

It can make no distinction whether you use an overlapping, interlocking, or ten-finger grip. What IS crucial is the slope the club is placed in your hand. To uncover your neutral grip, to begin with take your address spot, but without having a golf club, and make it possible for both arms to hang downward from the shoulders. Remain relaxed, there ought to be no stiffness in your arms or hands.

The majority of golfers find that their target side arm hangs anywhere in between the midsection of the target side thigh to the inside of the thigh, based on the width of foot position and or the width of the upper body.

As you start looking down at your target side hand pay notice to the angle it hangs. A number of you will view two knuckles of the hand, many can see three, and a few could even see four. It isn’t going to matter how many you see. No matter what the number, this is your body’s way of informing you its natural predisposition and that is the neutral angle for your golf grip.

Whenever you place your target side hand on the golf club it ought to be at the identical angle you just saw. The golf club then extends diagonally from in between the first and second joint of the index finger to the bottom part of the pinkie finger. Shut the fingers and then shut the hand with the heel pad on top of the shaft with the thumb to the urbansuburbanmagazine.com Philadelphia 43

rear of the shaft. This provides force from the heel pad downward and the last three fingers apply pressure upwards.

Then take the lifeline of the trailing hand, situated between the thumb and heel pads, and position it on the thumb of the target side hand.

The lifeline towards the thumb exerts the pressure. The right forefinger should be segregated, in a “triggering position�, yet with no pressure. It is crucial to fully grasp that the forefinger and target side thumb both be on the similar side and angle of the shaft for the perfect support.

The trailing thumb ought to be on the target side of the shaft. You under no circumstances want the thumbs to apply any pressure. Last but not least, as a way for the hands to perform together, they need to be parallel to each other.This might all appear tricky, but try it and see for yourself if discovering the proper grip angle doesn’t enhance your shots.

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GADGETS

by Kyle Leishear Every day there is a new advancement in technology. Whether it be personal technology or fitness technology, home technology, sports technology, advancements are being made. The problem with advancing technologies is that little by little we are slowly turning on each other. The speed at which information is shared is mind bending. Look at Twitter, you can find breaking news instantly before it shows up on your nightly news program. Twitter is even being credited as a legit news source from people other than journalists. That is right, news journalists read twitter and report on it without verification whatsoever.

All this talk of Big Brother looking over you and watching what you do and listening into your calls isn’t something that should scare you down the road, it should be freaking you out right now. Why? Simple it is all due to the advancements in technology that has basically turned every person with a smartphone into a walking and picture taking informant.

Everywhere you look someone is taking a photo with their smartphone and using it as evidence or posting it online and getting into trouble. It was a slow and gradual decline with society allowing this intrusion into our daily lives. It is now common place to see someone taking a selfie that we don’t even bat an eye anymore. However, sometimes that very selfie can get someone into trouble because they share those photos online and it spreads like wildfire.

For example in the news recently two soldiers were blasted online when photos of them spread that they themselves posted. In one instance a funeral detail soldier posted a few photos of herself complaining of the weather and disrespecting her fellow soldiers by saying “someone is getting a jacked up flag” because in the background of her photo you can see an American flag just crumbled up in her backseat.

In another photo another female soldier posted a photo of herself hiding from saluting the flag as it is being brought down on base. Sure as a fellow soldier it can be a bit annoying if you are out doing some errands and the music hits and you stop everything and salute the flag. I know a few people who would try to avoid it at all costs but never did they boast about it to an online community. Why? Simple we take our responsibilities very seriously while in uniform.

You can go back even further and look at the photos that surfaced from the Iraqi prison scandal. None of this would have happened if the vast sharing of photos online wasn’t such a priority. Take a look around and for all the bad there are great things with the advancements of technology. Crimes are being solved with the help of security cameras that are around and without them crimes would be even harder to solve. The Boston Marathon bombing was solved using those same security cameras that I am sure people around Boston probably didn’t like and felt they were intruding on their private lives.

In the end of it all there are plenty of dangers with the advancement in technology, depending on how it affects you and how you handle it, then you can decide for yourself whether or not it is a good or bad thing. Just look around and be wary, as with any advancement in technology you might lose a little more privacy but gain a little more security.

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For this past Black History Month, I was asked to speak about money and finances and tie it to Black History Month. This article is a summary of presentation because the numbers are astounding… so much so that as a people, we are almost going out backwards and it has everything to the with us and not much to do with “the man”.

It’s too much information for one article, so I hope you will come back next month for the remainder of the information.

lionaires Dr. Kimbro interviewed, started with little or nothing and worked tirelessly and unceasingly to earn their place among millionaires, regardless of race.

I assume that most of you reading this article are somewhere in between the $5 median wealth of Black women, and the upper economic class in which the Black millionaires in Dr. Kimbro’s book are found. Now that the spectrum of economic opportunity has been identified, the question is how do you move from where you are right now on the spectrum of opportunity, to where you want to be?

Asking this question does not mean you truly and sincerely want to become a millionaire, because that’s not everyone’s goal or ambition. However, it’s critically important to know that you definitely can become a millionaire if you do all of the hard work that is required. For everyone else, moving along the spectrum economic opportunity simply means you want more financial stability than you currently have. However, it

Let’s look at some numbers and see where we are as a people. In 2010, less than 4 short years ago, there was a ground-breaking study entitled Lifting as we Climb: Women of Color, Wealth, and America’s Future. The study was released by the Center for Community Economic Development and revealed the median wealth for single Blacks women is $5. THAT’S IT! Think about how many Black women are single and raising children! Half of them have accumulated wealth over $5 and half have not accumulated $5 in wealth. This means that if you have more than $5 in your wallet right now, you’re doing better than half of the Black women in America! Instead of me providing a link to the study, I encourage you to Google it and read it.

The study identified numerous contributing factors including wage disparities, the disproportionate impact of the foreclosure crisis on Blacks, the fact that many of us provide financial support to struggling family and friends, even though we can’t afford it, and other factors. The study explained that these low economics force Black women into debt for essentials like appliance and car repairs Let’s look at Blacks on the other end of the scale, because yes we are there! Out of 1,426 billionaires on the 2013 Forbes list of billionaires, seven (7) are Black. There 35,000 African American millionaires, excluding athletes and entertainers.

Dr. Dennis Kimbro interviewed 1,000 of these millionaires and compiled their success secrets into a book entitled, The Wealth Choice: Success Secrets of Black Millionaires. I encourage you to get his book and read it! Many of the mil-

also must mean that you are willing to do the work required to move you to the point on the spectrum where you want to be.

Ken Brown, who I personally met before reading about him in Dr. Kimbro’s book, was so poor growing up that his family was evicted ten (10) times before he graduated from high school!

Think about the physical and emotional toll on a child moving at least ten (10) in just 18 years! Ken’s parent made certain that he and each of his siblings went to college. urbansuburbanmagazine.com Philadelphia 51

Ken graduated from college and wanted to own a restaurant, but did not even have enough money to buy a hot dog cart, let alone open a restaurant. However, he chose determination over defeat! He chose his dream over his seeming reality. Ken started waiting tables to learn the restaurant business and to save enough money to buy the hot dog cart that he wanted to be his first food business. Ken never got the hot dog cart; instead he got a McDonald’s franchise! He went from waiter to franchise owner, still without enough of his own money for a hot dog cart! In case you don’t know, it takes more than $1 million to open a McDonald’s franchise.

I’m sharing Ken’s story because not all millionaires start out with money! And furthermore, Ken will tell you that his payroll bounced not once, but twice, as a McDonald’s owner! I tell you that part because the road is not easy or paved with gold, especially the farther you choose to move down the spectrum of economic opportunity! Ken is now in his early 40s, a millionaire, and the owner of several McDonald’s and other businesses. After you read Dr. Kimbro’s book, read Ken Brown’s book!

So how do you make the shift in your atmosphere and move yourself along your spectrum of opportunity? Read part II of this article in the next issue to learn what you need to do to get started.

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About the Author: Jennifer S. Matthews is an award-winning author, motivational speaker, and is trained as a financial coach. Her award-winning book 12 Ways to Put Money in

Your Pocket Every Month Without A Part Time Job, was also nominated for a 2013 NAACP Image Award. The book shows readers how to create hundreds of dollars in cash every month from within their existing income. Visit Jennifer online at www.MoneySmartBook.com and sign up for her newsletter.

You can also purchase her book, take advantage of free downloads, and much more. © 2014 Creating Financial Literacy, LLC

money on sheer tops and symmetric prints, you must fully understand your body. That is, you must know what looks good on you. This rule trumps all styles and trends when determining a how stylish a person is. Just as the fitness rule states that “you can lose weight by dieting and no exercise; but you can’t lose weight with simply exercise and no dieting”, the following fashion rule is equally as applicable: “you can be fashionable without knowing trends while understanding what works for your body type; but you can’t be fashionable by simply knowing the trends and yet disregarding the best styling for your body type.”

ow that spring has officially sprung, all fashion junkies around the world are desperately seeking events and opportunities to show off their sartorial prowess. Every year at the first sign of warmth after the winter fashionistas and fashionistos around the world walk down the street in the brightest of colors, and the trendiest of styles with the same thought in their heads “Look world, now that its warm and I can shed my hideous outerwear, and I have a lot to show you about who I am. I’ve been studying all the footage of all the “fashion weeks” around the world and I am a fashion God underneath 5 layers of long Johns, 12 scarves, and my old trusty parka”. And yes, all of us fashion Gods, from the red carpets in Hollywood to the bus stops at the corner of your mothers block, all actually think this way. So as an ode to the first 2014 warm weather edition of Urban Suburban magazine, you would naturally think that we would produce an article that speaks to the top Spring trends of 2014. Yes we could discuss how during this 2014 spring season, metallic pants, and neoprene crop tops will dominate your wardrobe(cause they will), but no, we’re not discussing these topics today. Instead we’ve decided to give you something a little more valuable and a lot more timeless. We’ve decided to enrich your hearts with tips on how to effortlessly stay on top of style trends despite the season. Use these tips and save time and energy scouring the web and magazines for tips on what to wear to your next networking mixer this spring season or any season yet to come.

Know your body Every season brings new trends and styles. No matter your level of fashion expertise, it would behoove you to be familiar with the trends and styles of the season. But before you go spending all of your rent

For example, if someone studies the style blogs and learns that investing in slochy pants is a great idea for the 2014 spring season while disregarding the fact that they have shorter than average legs, no style trend can save them from looking ummmm…less than fashionable.

Or here’s another example from my personal playbook. I have this amazing boxy cropped authentic 1980s police jacket. Although, it is probably one of the most stylish pieces in my wardrobe, I can’t seem to bring myself to wear it because the broad shoulders highlight the fact there isn’t that much difference between my hips and waist (from the front, from the back is a different story). So every time I try to wear this jacket my shoulders look extremely broad and my hips look look like that of a 12-year-old boy, so I skip this trend entirely. I can’t really think of any circumstance outside of dressing up as Harry Potter for Halloween where I would want to look like a 12-year-old boy. And even in that case I would probably opt for a “sexy” Harry Potter with a waist-cinching robe and a low cut wool argyle vest. So no, no 12-year old boy fashion for me.

Know your body. Play around with a trend in the dressing room before investing in it. Ask yourself these questions before venturing in the world in a new style: does it make me look wider than I naturally am does it make me look shorter than I naturally am does it accentuate a part of my body that I normally try to hide If you answer yes to any of these questions, skip this look.

Shop Classic Timeless Pieces When shopping for a new season, yes it always a great idea to grab items that follow a new trend. But don’t forget to pick up a good amount of pieces that span time and trends. I have always described my personal style to be that of “classic trendy”. I know that sounds like an oxymoron but seriously, I consistently concoct a single look out of 1 part classic such as a blazer, a pencil skirt, a black turtle neck, or a classic pump and 1 part trendy, such as a cropped top, a metallic pair of pants, or a sheer top. By maintaining this balance, I’m always partly prepared for any season and I always have SOMETHING to wear. If you are on a tight budget you can always construct a classic “boring” look out of some of your classic pieces that you picked up in past seasons and set it off with a less costly attention grabbing trendy accessory such as a metallic clutch or a printed belt.

Follow a FEW fashion Designers on Social Media If you are reading this far down in the article you are undoubtedly a fashionista/o. So I can speak to my kind, as I know you agree with me when I say, it can be time consuming to stay educated in our craft. It can take hours and hours of your day to research fashion news, runway shows, and magazine articles, all to stay in the know. Although we love the art that is fashion, it can get to be a major commitment just to stay on top of the game. I find that one of the best ways to effortlessly stay on top of trends is to follow a FEW stylists and fashion designers on Social Media. And by few, I mean no more than 5. This way, it’s not too much on your timeline but yet you can subconsciously absorb the seasons’ trends and looks.

My top 10 social media authorities on Instagram are: @juneambrose @fashionbombdaily @thriftedandmodern @dapperlou @whowhatwear @chicrenegade @netaporter @thezoereport @zaramens @menswearstyle Bio Nikki Purvy is a Digital Media Expert, Marketing specialist, Fashion writer and Podcaster, published writer, and Artist.

Philadelphia native, Purvy runs Lidyr Creative Marketing Agency and Chic Renegade Fashion Accessories out of both Philly and Los Angeles. She leads a team buyers and fashion stylists for ecommerce website ChicRenegade.com while heading digital marketing campaigns and web design projects for Lidyr Creative (Lidyr.com). She plays the bass and holds several leadership roles in various community and social organizations.

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Path Lighting

Mother Bethel African Methodist Episcopal Church A Brief History of Mother Bethel African Methodist Episcopal Church Upon this rock...

The story of Mother Bethel cannot be told without first telling the story of the founder, Bishop Richard Allen. According to Allen, he was born on February 14, 1760 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in the condition of slavery to a Quaker lawyer, Mr. Benjamin Chew. Chew, who at one point served as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and personal attorney to the Penn Family, was a wealthy landowner who owned property near the Philadelphia water front, at Cliveden (which is now the Germantown section of the city), and farms in Delaware.

Allen, whose father was African and whose mother was bi-racial, literally could have been born at any of these Chew properties. What is known for certain is that the family was purchased by a Delaware planter, Mr. Stokley Sturgis, when Allen was seven years old. Later, Allen’s mother was again sold along with three of her six 56 urbansuburbanmagazine.com Philadelphia

children, leaving Allen, his older brother, and a sister on the Sturgis plantation. There is no record of the fate of Allen’s father after this time.

Plus - The Richard Allen

Museum is one of the greatest treasures housed in Mother Bethel Church. The current exhibit was constructed under the leadership of the 50th pastor, Bishop Richard Franklin Norris. Since it’s opening some 20 years ago, the museum receives thousands of visitors a year from all over the world.

Contained in the museum are many rare artifacts dating back to the 17th century. The most precious holding is the tomb which contains the remains of Bishop Richard Allen, the founder of the AME Church. Also in the same crypt is Bishop Allen’s wife, Sarah Allen and the 2nd Bishop of the AME Church, the Right Reverend Morris Brown.

A trip to the Richard Allen Museum will be sure to leave you more knowledgeable about the history of the AME Church, of African American people, and about America itself. It will also inspire you to go out and to make your own contribution to make the world a better place.

Please take the “virtual tour” while visiting the site, but also go to the link to plan a visit. The Docents who provide the tours of the museum are all volunteers from the Mother Bethel Historical Society, under the leadership of Bro. Crawford Wilson. They are eager to share with everyone the story of Bishop Allen and the founding of this great congregation and denomination. Everyone, especially members of the AME Church, should visit the Richard Allen Museum at least once in their lifetime. It is a pilgrimage that will change your life!

Sharon Baptist Church It all started in June, 1934 with less than ten people that believed God and a visionary named Rev. Charles H. Bernard. For three years the people borrowed space to worship and continued to believe the Lord for a permanent home. Change was a regular occurrence for first 12 years of Sharon’s existence, but the people remained faithful.

In October, 1947 God gave Sharon a pastor, Rev. Phillip M. King that would lead the people for the next 34 years. During his tenure the church paid off all debt, purchased new property, and paid off debt again.

Sharon was about 48 years old when it met a man that would lead God’s people with God’s Word into the future. In January, 1982 Keith Wayne Reed, Sr changed the mission of Sharon Baptist Church. He declared that the church would use the Bible and focus on three things: evangelizing the lost, edifying the saints, and exalting the Savior. Sounds simple, but it was a new direction that God honored. People came from everywhere to hear the teachings of the word of God and we went from serving 280 people in 1982 to over 2000 in 1997. We created seats in any crevice you could find and parking was almost impossible on the small residential streets of southwest Philadelphia. It was time! We found land in West Philadelphia, broke ground, and in September, 1999 we moved in to our new sanctuary.

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Enon Tabernacle Baptist Church Enon Tabernacle Baptist Church is a faith community of over 15,000 members committed to using their collective resources to strengthen families and communities.

The first African-American Baptist church in the Germantown section of Philadelphia, Enon’s impact is felt beyond the walls of its physical structures, spilling into the local community, throughout the city of Philadelphia, and reaching across the globe to Africa.

Under the leadership of its current Senior Pastor, Reverend Dr. Alyn E. Waller, Enon is proud to have contributed over $1 million to organizations, including the UNCF, which are meeting critical needs. In Dr. Waller’s words, “Enon is unapologetically youth oriented.” So elementary school students in Germantown seldom need to worry about being ready to start the school year because the church provides every student in need with a backpack full of school supplies annually. Once Enon’s students are ready to pursue a postsecondary education, they have the opportunity to earn college scholarships, including a number of full four year scholarships. Enon’s commitment does not stop with the provision of financial resources. The church’s members serve others by participating in 98 ministries. For example, the church’s competitive athletics program provides a haven for roughly 600 young people. More than 100 volunteer coaches, mentors, and chaperones help the children develop life skills and provide activities, designed to insulate them from the negative and influences that plague urban youth. Notably, several of Enon’s football teams and cheerleading squad earned the opportunity to participate in the Disney Pop Warner 2012 National Championships in Orlando, Florida.

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Dr. Keith L. Leaphart Dr. Leaphart was born and raised in the West Oak Lane section of Philadelphia and completed his public school education at Central High School. His passion to help others led him to a career in medicine. In pursuit of this goal, he attended Hampton University where he received a B.S. degree in Biology.

Dr. Leaphart completed his residency in physical medicine & rehabilitation at Thomas Jefferson University Hospital. In 2007 he considered a run for US Congress, but realized through his exploratory process that at this time he could do more to help the City of Philadelphia working to bridge the gap between leaders in the public and private sector. Currently Dr. Leaphart is on staff at Bryn Mawr Rehab Hospital, and serves as President & CEO of Replica Global, LLC. the parent company for Replica Creative: DESIGN + PRINT.

Darryl Clarke

He is a member of the American Academy of Physical Medicine & Rehabilitation, American Medical Association, American Osteopathic Association, Medical Society of Eastern Pennsylvania, the National Black MBA Association, and Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc. He currently sits on the board of The African American Chamber of Commerce, Ceasefire PA, Pennsylvania Prison Society and the Wynnefield Overbrook Revitalization Corporation.

Since taking office, Council President Clarke has advanced a progressive legislative agenda that includes initiatives enhancing job creation, increasing public safety, promoting economic and neighborhood development and protecting consumer interests. Council President Clarke’s sponsored the “Restart Philadelphia” conference series, providing access to valuable job readiness and business development for job seekers and aspiring entrepreneurs.

Council President Clarke maintains a strong commitment to improving city neighborhoods and commercial corridors. Among the several revitalization projects Council President Clarke has championed are the Avenue North retail and Entertainment Complex (the first of its kind in North Philadelphia), expansion of the Free Library main branch, construction of the Barnes Museum and new Mormon Temple on Ben Franklin Pkwy, and numerous developments along the Avenue of the Arts North. All told, Council President Clarke is directly responsible for over $150 million in support for these projects. The Council President is also on record pace for housing production in his district with hundreds of affordable and market rate housing units constructed or currently undergoing construction. Council President Clarke also sponsored the Revitalizing Urban Neighborhoods Conference where community experts from across the region discussed best practices for revitalizing Philadelphia communities.

Prior to his election, Council President Clarke served as an experienced public servant in municipal government for nearly twenty years. Initially hired by City Councilman John F. Street as a constituent service representative, during the later years of his employment with City Council, Clarke had sole responsibility for overseeing legislative, housing and economic development initiatives throughout the 5th Council District.

Seth Williams

Seth Williams became the first African American District Attorney in the city of brotherly love and in the entire commonwealth of Pennsylvania.

From Penn State, Seth was on to law school at Georgetown University, where he graduated with distinction as a Public Interest Law Scholar in 1992. After graduation Seth’s dedication to public service brought him home to Philadelphia, where he joined the District Attorney’s Office.

In the ten years he served as an Assistant District Attorney, Seth was repeatedly promoted, including his appointment as the Assistant Chief of the Municipal Court, where he supervised the 30 newest prosecutors. He also created and led the Repeat Offenders Unit with the goal of reducing the high percentage of crimes committed by repeat offenders. His extensive trial experience includes 37 jury trials, more than 1,500 bench trials and more than 2,500 felony preliminary hearings.

Seth continues to serve his community as an educator and volunteer. He is an adjunct professor at Neumann College in the Strategic Leadership Master’s Program and is an adjunct professor and Advisory Board member at Penn State Abington. Seth is also proud to serve his country as a Major in the Judge Advocate General Corps of the United States Army Reserve. Seth is also proud to serve on the boards of several community organizations, including the Catholic Social Services of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia, the Overbrook Park Civic Association & Town Watch, St. Cyprian Catholic Church, the St. Martin de Porres Foundation and the West Philadelphia Y.M.C.A. urbansuburbanmagazine.com Philadelphia 61

Jordan Harris Jordan Harris was elected to the State Legislature on Nov. 6, 2012, representing the 186th Legislative District in Philadelphia. Prior to being elected to the Pennsylvania House of Representatives, Harris was appointed as the Executive Director of Philadelphia’s Youth Commission where he advised the Mayor, City Council and other key decision makers on issues relating to the city’s youth and young adults.

Named one of The Philadelphia Tribune Magazine’s “10 People Under 40 to Watch in 2011”, Representative Harris is sought after to discuss youth leadership and development at universities, churches and on other platforms across the nation.

Harris earned his Bachelor’s Degree from Millersville University in Governmental and Political Affairs. He also holds a Master’s Degree in Education from Cabrini College and is currently a Doctoral candidate in Educational Leadership at Neumann University.

Representative Harris is currently President of the Board of Directors at Lincoln Day Educational Center, the oldest continuously operating African American Day School in the country. He serves as a trustee of the Richard Allen Preparatory Charter School, a Member of the Board of the Hardy Williams Education Fund, and on the boards of the Ruby Bridges Foundation and the Christian Street YMCA.

Algernong Allen Allen has a history of local investment, establishing his property, business, and family in the area. Allen has experience providing services, local employment, summer jazz concerts, culture, and a spirit of diversity for all citizens. Allen was raised in the neighborhood and seeks to create an inclusionary vision of progress, believing that jobs lead to stability, and a sense of purpose.

Allen believes in the interconnectedness of residents, the rights of children to quality education, and the concept of an engaging community of stakeholders actively maximizing returns on our public amenities through volunteer service and participation. A graduate of Hampton University,94 BS Finance, Summa Cum Laude Block Captain, Host West Philly Connects WPEB 88.1, Board-Baltimore Avenue Business Association, Board-St. Mary’s Nursery School, Fmr. Board Cedar Park Neighbors, Board- University City Arts League, The Public Notebook, Urban League, Spark Mentoring Program, West Philadelphia Corridors Connect Program, NAACP, Urban League of Young Professionals.

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Cindy Bass Councilwoman Bass is a life-long Philadelphian, having grown up in North Philadelphia, graduating from public high school, and received a Bachelor’s degree in business administration from Temple University.

As Chair of Council’s Committee on Parks, Recreation, and Cultural Affairs, Councilwoman Bass has worked to raise the profile of Philadelphia’s parks and cultural institutions while also working to keep these areas safe and desirable for all Philadelphians.

Using her background in community development at Mt. Airy, USA, and experience as Senior Policy Advisor on Urban and Domestic Policy to Congressman Chaka Fattah, Councilwoman Bass is dedicated to revitalizing the commercial corridors of the 8th District. She works tirelessly to attract businesses and create safe neighborhoods.

Councilwoman Bass also serves as Vice-Chair of Council’s Committee on Licenses and Inspections and as a member of the committees on Rules, Streets and Services, Labor and Civil Service, Public Health and Human Services.

Kenyatta Johnson The youngest member of City Council, Johnson arrived on the political scene in 1998 determined to end gun violence through Peace Not Guns, an organization he founded – after the murder of his cousin – to prevent violence through education and the creation of programs that would give youth an alternative to the streets. That activism led to a successful run for the Pennsylvania House of Representatives, where he served as State Representative for the 186th Legislative District from 2009 until 2012 when he took the oath of office for City Council.

Councilman Johnson brokered a deal to save E.M. Stanton Elementary from closure; he committed $100,000 to rebuild the FDR Park playground destroyed by arson; and he successfully fought for the restoration of $3 million in funding for the city’s only abuse shelter – allowing it to add 100 more beds for victims of abuse.

Councilman Johnson chairs the Committee on Transportation and Public Utilities and the Legislative Oversight Committee. He also serves on the following committees: Finance; Streets and Services; Licenses and Inspections; Parks, Recreation and Cultural Affairs; Public Health and Human Services; Public Safety; Housing Neighborhood Development and the Homeless; and Technology and Information Services.

A lifelong resident of Point Breeze, Councilman Johnson is a product of Philadelphia Public Schools. He holds a Bachelor of Arts Degree from Mansfield University and a Masters Degree in Government Administration from the Fels Institute of Government at the University of Pennsylvania.

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Relationships

Although there’s nothing in life more rewarding than having children, your

world goes through a total transformation once you give birth. Your worries change, your schedule is flipped around, and, all too often, your relationship suffers. No longer do you and your partner have the spare time to spend together, much less every waking moment as you once did before little ones entered your world. Spending a quiet night in is a thing of the past and going out is more often a chore than a treat. All is not lost when it comes to maintaining romance after having children.

With some work and patience, you and your partner can get back your former intimacy.

Here are a few tips, thanks in part to Love Panky to help you reignite your relationship and bring the spice back to your love life.

Take Some Time for You Yes, making time for yourself may seem counterproductive when you’re working on your relationship, but this is essential to making it work for you and your partner. When you’re growing your family, it’s especially important that you take time for yourself. As you are quite aware, being a parent requires all of your time and can quickly drain you, which can be draining and harmful to your physical well being. Because you’re always on the run—often literally if you have little ones—it’s common to begin to feel as if you’re constantly running on empty. This can lead to more stress, a lack of energy, and even depression.

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As a result, you must take a step back and make time for yourself. Do something relaxing like yoga or take up a new hobby. Go to a quiet place and mediate or read or just spend this free moment basking in solitude. This will recharge and energize you, giving you a more positive mindset and reducing your stress, which in turn makes you less frustrated and

discounted at home and with your mate.

Keep Your Partner’s Needs in Mind You spend so much time focusing on the needs of your children that it’s inevitable for those of your partner to suffer. Not only does the sex decrease, but the needs of both you and your, and your relationship, fall by the wayside when you start having kids.

However, you can’t lose touch with your significant other or your relationship—remember, your relationship, like your family, needs some attention too.

Even simple things like compliments or showing your spouse your appreciation when he or she does something nice or helpful for you can go a long way in helping you maintain a healthy romantic partnership.

Be sure to communicate with your mate as a clear line of communication is vital to keeping a relationship strong.

Check in with your significant other every day—and not just to talk about your children or work. Instead, use this daily exchange to discuss personal matters, your relationship, and feelings (good and bad). Make it a point to convey the love and gratitude you have for your partner and end the conversation on a good note.

Remember the Romance Of course you can’t forget about the significance of sex when it comes to maintaining a healthy relationship. Your sex drive may have diminished after you began having babies, but this doesn’t mean you no longer want to be intimate with your mate or have lost your sexual desires. In fact, you and your partner probably both need a sexual reboot, which can easily be accomplished by simply reconnecting with your mate in the bedroom.

Start by examining what things are lacking in your physical relationship. Perhaps you need to get more creative in the boudoir. Try picking up some lingerie that differs from what you normally wear or a new and unique sexual enhancement device. Items like crotchless panties and Ben Wa Balls, which Adam and Eve reports are often recommended by professionals for strengthening a woman’s pubococcygeus muscles. By investing in these items, you and your partner can find new ways to turn each other on.

You should also think outside of the bedroom. This means making time out and reviving date night with an intimate dinner for two or a night at the movies. Recapture the childless period in your relationship by taking a cooking class together or go on a vineyard tour. While these activities may seem small, they will surely help you bring the passion back to your relationship. At least, that’s the word from Cosmo. urbansuburbanmagazine.com Philadelphia 65

Q. Tell us about Moment of Truth: The Andy Meyers Story . What’s it about? Why should we go see it?

“Moment of Truth” is a feature length film that follows a man named Andy Meyers and is quest to commit suicide in front of a camera for notoriety. Its a poignant film that demonstrates peoples willingness to do something so outlandish to be “somebody”. In this case, Andy was willing to kill himself for the chance to be remembered. The film is very controversial and disturbing but it has many important messages inside. People should go see it because it is a film that gets you emotionally invested and often brings audiences to tears. I want to make films that move audiences to different levels of emotions and “MOT” has certainly lived up to my expectations. Another fact that may peak peoples interests is “MOT” has won over 25 awards and have been in over 30 film festivals to date.

Q. This film was in the Urban Suburban Film Festival. How was that experience? Did you get a chance to see any other films?

Yes the film was accepted in the festival and even won the Best Documentary Award. I was honored to be apart of the festival and the experience was amazing.

Films and filmmakers from around the globe were in attendance and the festival lineup was stellar. I had the opportunity to see a few shorts while I was there and I even was able to hook up with a friend who had a feature there; “A Safe House”. I would definitely recommend the festival to my fellow filmmaker friends.

Q. If you could co-star in a movie with any actor/actress, who would it be?

That is a tough question, I respect so many actors and actresses. I guess if I had to choose just one I would have to go with Phillip Seymour Hoffman. I think his acting is pure genius. He doesn’t often get the lead role in films, he usually is a character actor. But he nails every role and is just so believable. One of my favorite roles he had was in a film called “Happiness”, he played such a twisted character. I would love to work with him one day.

Q. What advice can you give to people who are trying to make it in the film industry?

Pick a new career! Im joking. This business is tough and I think the best advice I can give is to grow thick skin and don’t give up. I can not tell you how many times I almost just folded under and gave up. I made a short film once called “Feeding Harry” and it premiered at a festival in New York City. There were about 100 people in the audience when the film started, I was so excited for people to be there to see my film. While the film was screening, people just kept leaving, one after the other. By the end of the film there were only ten people left, I was devastated. I questioned if I was really a filmmaker. Im grateful I didn’t give up and Im grateful I didn’t let that bump in the road stop me from living my dream. This is the type of career where you make something and then people judge it on whether it is good enough. That can often be hard to deal with because not everybody is going to love your work. The most important things are that the filmmakers love their work and that they believe in it.

Q. Walk us through a day in Steve Crowley shoes.

Everyday is different for me, I don’t have much of a routine. It is hard to get into routines in this business. One day you could be on set shooting a film and the next day you could be at the airport heading to the next film festival. But typically I start my day by checking and responding to emails. I often have to send “MOT” out to festivals and most recently, interested distributors so I usually take a trip to the post office. I write a lot. Presently I am completing a feature length script so I try to devote some time each day writing. I take breaks during the day and walk my dogs, its therapeutic! Or sometimes I take breaks and paint or sculpt things

out of clay. I like to keep the creative juices flowing. The rest of the day is filled with phone calls, sending out press releases and shipping out press kits to festivals. This job is not your typical 9 to 5. It is not uncommon for me to be working on all of this from early morning to late at night. I try to relax at night and watch a movie or a television show with my beautiful girlfriend.

Q. In 10 years what do you wish to be doing?

In ten years I want to be doing the same thing I am doing now, making films. I would like to be working with bigger budgets and with major studios funding the films. I really don’t see myself doing anything else. I had a really good job a few years ago and I was living comfortably, but I gave it all up to make films. And let me say I don’t regret that decision one bit, I have never been happier. Thats why ten years from now I will still be making movies. I also would like to get involved in television. I would love to be working on a show like “Breaking Bad” or “Six Feet Under”.

Q. It must take a lot of time and planning to assemble the perfect cast when making a movie. How do you know you have the right people for the project?

Thats a great question. I like to go to lunch with the actors before I audition them.

We speak about the film, my vision and the role. I also try to have normal, everyday conversations with them to get a sense of what type of person they are. When we speak of the role they are auditioning for I like to hear an actor/actress ask questions. I also like when they bring their ideas to the table. The reason I look for these things is because I want to know the actor/actress can see my vision. The best actor/ actress out there can spoil a performance if they do not have a complete grasp on their role and the Directors expectations. I also go with my gut, sometimes there are hard decisions to make when assembling a cast.

Q. What has been the best advice someone has every given to you?

The best advice I ever got was to love what you do and never give up. And to be a filmmaker it couldn’t be more true. You have to love it. As I said earlier it is a hard business to be in, there can be many heart breaks and headaches. If you don’t love making films and everything that goes along with it then its going to be hard to succeed. There will be times when things seem insurmountable but if you fully love creating films, then giving up is not an option. Dream big!

Q. Have you had your projects in film festivals before? What are the advantages of being a part of these festivals?

“Moment of Truth” is my first feature length film to be on the festival circuit, actually it is the first feature film I ever made. Prior to “MOT” I have had a few shorts in festivals around the U.S. But “MOT” has been my most successful film and I am very proud to say I made it. There are many advantages to being on the festival circuit, probably the biggest being exposure to your film. When you get accepted into a festival you have the chance to show off your film to large numbers of diverse people from all over the globe. The more exposure your film gets the better chance your film will get distributed and I think that is the ultimate goal for most filmmakers.

Not only do festivals provide exposure but they offer the chance to network with some really amazing filmmakers. I have learned so much from other filmmakers and have made some really great friends along the way.