Blackbright - Elena2_Blackbright May 2008 01/12/2010 07:31 Page 2
While it is wise to weigh up the pros and cons when meeting someone new, it is more importantly to assess whether you have similar natures and values. What do men need women for? History tells us it’s to nurture and look after them and to give them children? However, what happens if you have a woman and she is not nurturing? What happens when the children have grown and left home? What then? I believe men and women want the same thing. They want someone to make a difference for the better - to improve the quality of their lives in some way. It might mean coming home to warm hug, a hot bath and dinner; listening to the issue of the day; helping with a project; taking turns with the housework, allowing ‘me’ time, but something to make a difference. It’s in our innate nature to be with someone, so do your best to cultivate friendships and once in a relationship, try to make sure that you are not magnifying problems or projecting past issues on new relationships if you want it to last. There is no need for single men to feel disheartened - they need to believe that they are needed by women in areas they could not imagine and in ways that might only cost them their time. Similarly, women need to feel they are needed too. Partners need to show appreciation, consideration and respect, especially since there seems to be a role reversal in certain situations. But is it really role reversal? I prefer to think of it as compromise!
Editorial
What do women need men for? During a conversation about the Talkin’ Blues forum - I was asked: “What do women need men for, because they have their own homes and make enough money to look after themselves? This individual looked quite disempowered, which made me wonder what other men thought. From what I gather, the majority of women want a partner if he is going to make a difference to their lives, which can be in a number of ways that have nothing to do with income and/or status. Many women who appear to be managing on their own would prefer to have someone to supplement them, and I am sure there are men out there, who would like the same. The problem is, for those who have felt cheated in the past (whether it is because they gave more than what they got, or for some other reason) they might feel apprehensive about relationships for fear of ‘losing’ again so they prefer to be non-commital. Who can blame them when relationships have left them feeling bitter and afraid? There have been manipulative marriages where ex-spouses benefited from 50% of net assets when they put minimal in; where spouses only married them for visa/economic status, leaving them when they had cultivated sufficient ‘years’ to benefit from being in the relationship – so it is easy to understand the apprehensiveness of resourceful individuals who choose to stay on their own rather than be taken for ride. So is fear going to override impulse, instinct, passion, chemistry and slowly destroy the connubial race? Getting back to the subject - women do need men but the question is, what are they willing to compromise in order to keep them? Past challenging experiences/relationships cannot, and should not, drive your decision about whether to have a partner in your life or not.
By Myrna Loy, Chief Editor
Blackbright News The Total Quality, Information-Based Publication that Stimulates, Educates, Motivates & Elevates The Cultural Learning Magazine developed to redress inaccurate perceptions! email: blackbrightnews@aol.com www.myspace.com/blackbrightnews Managing Editor: Myrna Loy Graphic Designer: Elena Andrijauskaite ISSN No. 1751–1909 This is an Online Publication Only
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