The Recipe for Your Best Self

By Dominique Morgan, executive director of Black & Pink

Have a great day and if you can’t, don’t go messing up nobody else’s. - Tabitha Brown

This issue is where we are delving into self-care - not just the theory of it but creating life values that consistently uplift restoration of self.

That being said, I believe that you can’t work towards long term healing and overall progress without understanding, respecting, and even appreciating the road of life you’ve already navigated.

As I envision what self-care is for my Black Trans body, even with all of the access and privilege I possess, it really comes down to healing and unpacking historical trauma. Ignoring, compartmentalizing, and avoidance was a tried-and-true technique in my life.

And I say that with love of who I was when that was my go-to tool of survival. I needed to protect myself because, truthfully, I felt like no one else would. The flight in me was my blanket of security. And it’s so damn easy for folks to judge your actions, right? Well, I wanted to sleep at night, so pretending I was Erica Kane or Nikki Newman was how I escaped being overwhelmed by thoughts of the sexual harm I’d experienced or my Daddy’s death. But when we know better, we do better, right? I’d like to offer an addendum to

that age old adage: When you know better, you have the desire to do better; but when you have access and privilege you can begin to envision and build your version of “better.”

Now access and privilege in this case can mean therapy, the ability to rest, or financial capabilities.

I’m a living witness that the desire to be my best self has always been inside of me.

When I was a poor Black child growing up in North Omaha. When I was a homeless teen. When I was in solitary confinement. When I lived in an efficiency apartment.

But it was when I could have the space to not only want better, but could see what better could be. Because I witnessed it in others who looked like me or could take a vacation and write down a damn plan. Seems simple, but the barriers the oppressed in our society have to navigate creates the capacity to get through the day (on a good day). That places you in a perpetual state of survival which will always prevent the sort of environment that breeds an opportunity to thrive.

So beloveds, I will share this with you: the techniques, plans and information our Newsletter team has created will be extremely helpful.

But one key ingredient will be investing in understanding fully the journey to who you are today. Because you can map out, understand and hopefully appreciate your journey thus far - mapping your journey going forward will be a breeze! (Don’t side eye me :) I mean, y’all know what I’m saying, it’ll be easier...but you’re still gonna have to work your ass off for it.)

And I know inside of these prisons, jails and detention centers, it seems impossible to do this work. What I hope you take from this issue is that under the short list of what these institutions can’t take from you and that you and only you own - is your healing and your life.

Take the reins. Own what belongs to you and invest the time in making it the best it can be.

Mass Incarceration didn’t co-opt my greatness and it won’t have yours.

Ashe’

I love you all. Be safe, take care of yourself, and anyone around you who needs it. Liberation is a team sport, my darlings. Start building your team <3

Xoxoxoxo and solidarity,

Dominique Morgan She/Hers Executive Director Black and Pink, Inc Omaha, Nebraska