Craig Nelson, illustrator of front cover What was your favourite childhood movie? Gremlins: I always wanted my own Mogwai. What is your signature dish? Chicken stuffed with feta and assorted vegetables.
Editor Jil Hogan Creative Director/Co-Editor Sarah Robertson Lead Designer/Web Design Rowan Hogan
What is your karaoke specialty? White Wedding - Billy Idol. What always brings a smile to your face? Finally getting an animation to look how I want it to. What did you want to be when you grew up? A genetic engineer. What are you most afraid of? Flying in aeroplanes.
Layout and Design Jil Hogan Photography Sarah Robertson & Kristian Hollins Senior Contributor Kristian Hollins Contributors Paul Smeaton, Erica Bartle, Matthew Newton, Kristian Smith, Craig Sims, Kieran Salsone, Daniel Fraser, Kelly Forbes, Esther Gallois, Elizabeth Sims, Victoria Toms, Kyla Sorenne Illustrations Craig Nelson Advertising Julia Mackerras (jules@nextstepmarketing.com.au) www.biscuitmagazine.com.au biscuit magazine is free and issued monthly. Email contact@biscuit magazine. com.au. ABN 33 407 496 992. No part of this magazine may be reproduced without written permission from the copyright holder.
Esther Gallois, wrote ‘Just a Mo...’ If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? Either raspberries, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups or Steak. What was the first song you loved enough to play on repeat? Angel by Robbie Williams. I was 12. Don’t judge me. What is your favourite movie line to quote? “We can’t stop here. This is bat country.”- Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. If you had a beard, would you brush it? No way. Let that beast run wild. Favourite Australian band? The Grates. Ah Patience. Big Day Out or Woodford Folk Festival? Woodford! What is the scariest movie you have ever watched? The Grudge.
Editor’s Note
Nobody’s really sure when it happened, but at some point, beards went from being creepy to uber cool. In the past, what was usually representative of laziness is now recognised as the culmination of a carefully manicured creation. For this reason, we’ve decided to celebrate everything facial hair this month; from those who can’t bear to part with their growth, to those who are ‘beard-challenged’. As you come across guys this month with something that can only resemble a spattering of stubble on their upper lip, be sure to get behind them and support men’s health by dontating to Movember Australia at http://au.movember.com/. While you’re at it, get behind us and Brisbane-band Lion Island in the Sunset Sounds Foster Band competition. Happy November! Jil & Sarah jil@biscuitmagazine.com.au sarah@biscuitmagazine.com.au
crumbs
Sydney-siders will feel like they’ve stumbled into downtown New York at the new DKNY store. The iconic brand’s flagship Aussie store, freshly opened in the new Westfield Sydney Pitt Street development, features an industrial feel and lashings of vibrant taxi cab yellow. Need some more American shopping? Turn to page 22 to make the most of your strong Aussie dollar.
Brisbane music festival Sunset Sounds have launched Foster Band to unearth the next big thing in Brisvegas. The initiative aims to shine the light on local Brisbane artists, and gives two bands the chance to win a set at Sunset Sounds in January, alongside the likes of Interpol, Angus and Julia Stone and The Klaxsons. Want to get yourself to Sunset Sounds? All you have to do is visit www.sunsetsounds. com.au/fosterband and vote for your chance to win. Voting is open now and closes December 1st. Our pick? Newcomers Lion Island. (Check out page 20). Sunset Sounds: Wed 5th& Thurs 6th January, 2011 at Brisbane Riverstage. Tickets available now from Ticketmaster and Moshtix.
Pannikin Accessories Lovingly home-made by Holly Leonardson, Pannikin specialises in a cute range of accessories inspired by animals, old children’s books and vintage/antique items. Catch Holly at the Finders Keepers markets in Brisbane on November 6-7. Visit pannikan-accessories.blogspot.com
Wear your love of mo’s on your shirt, your bag or anywhere this November. Win the pair of Pannikin badges shown above. Just email your name and address with ‘Pannikin’ in the subject line to competitions@biscuitmagazine.com.au
For your chance to win an original comic, Captain Darkstar, by Daniel Watts and a limited edition collector’s badge, email your name and contact details with “Captain Darkstar” in the subject line to competitions@biscuitmagazine. com.au. Check out page 10 to read more about Daniel.
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Got something to get off your chest, to no one in particular? Or only feel comfortable saying something behind the safety of your computer screen? Send your open letters to: openletters@biscuitmagazine.com.au Dear Director in Charge of Arnott’s Assorted Creams: I am a long-time fan and admirer of your product and believe it to be without peer; however, I cannot comprehend the inclusion of the Orange Cream biscuit. After considerable investment and research, I have narrowed it down to three possibilities as to why these still remain in the packet: (1) You, good Sir or Madam, are the owner of an orange food colouring & flavouring company; (2) The marketing department accidentally confirmed to the production department an order for 1,000,000 batches of orange creams, instead of 10; or (3) this is a long running practical joke. If either of these is the case, suggested actions are: (1) declare your interests and resign; (2) fire marketing; or (3) stop it immediately. Craig To The Sunshine, Thank you for coming back! I love visiting you on weekends. Please stay for as long as you can this time around. Love always, Charlie To the grape vine I bought last week, Seriously, what do I have to do to keep you alive? I have watered you, I have given you sunshine (but not too much) and you still look like you want to die. What more can a plant require? Confused and sad, Alice. Dear Bus 344, You are the most ridiculously routed form of public transport I have ever encountered! I caught you by accident yesterday, in my early morning haze. You twisted and turned through the northern suburbs, managing to directly avoid any main roads, at a pace where I was forced to view many a paved and pebbled driveway. After an hour of me wishing I’d picked up my iPod and hand sanitiser – we finally neared the city. With five minutes to get to work, I breathed a sigh of relief as you neared the middle of town; and then you turned left! You then weaved your way through the outskirts of the city until you stopped on the opposing side of the town and turned off your engine. “Last stop Love,” yelled the driver as I sat there in disbelief staring at my uncomfortable shoes. Bus 344 – I hate you! Sarah
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November 2010
3 Gin and Titonic Ice Tray www.tesora.com.au
1 Ice Invaders www.tesora.com.au
2 AK Bullet Ice Tray Opposite: Illustration by Craig Nelson. This page: images courtesy of www.tesora.com.au; www.everten.com.au
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The weather is heating up - cool your beverages with something a little more exciting.
4 Frozen Smiles Ice Cube Tray
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5 Cool Jazz Ice Tray www.everten.com.au
by Erica Bartle, girlwithasatchel.com
Once upon a time, my father threatened to throw my laptop off the balcony. That was back in the day when, as a fledgling blogger, I was glued to my Mac like my life depended on it. They even quoted me in Vogue about my obsessiveness: “Erica Bartle, the Gold Coast-based creator of the Girl With A Satchel blog, cleans her white MacBook, “like a fussy mother with a child”. To Bartle, her laptop “is essential for keeping in touch with my social network and blog readers. My laptop is my livelihood. Having it with me at all times gives me a sense of security in a chaotic world (as Cher from Clueless would say).” Ick. I recoil at that quote now. Because, in the words of a very prominent blogger friend of mine, I grew up and got a life. And got offline. While obviously I’m still online, my Mac and the Internet no longer have such a grip on me. And, whowouldathunkit, I am a billion times happier. Though an extrovert by nature, like the female equivalent of the socially inept Mark Zuckerberg, or one-time Twitter addict Lily Allen, the more time I spent online, the worse my offline life got. I had blogger’s Stockholm Syndrome but couldn’t see the damage it was doing to my relationships and quality of life. The Internet is like eating McDonalds. I’ve learnt the real, nutritious stuff of life is human-to-human contact, relationships and engaging experiences. Icecream with your Dad by the beach, a hammock with your lover, a hug with your niece, a walk with your dog or even a moment with a stranger. Standing in line at Sydney airport’s security screening, I watched curiously as a man ahead of me proceeded to remove plate after plate of crockery from his laptop bag and place them in a bucket. Laptops? Normal. Crockery? Not so much. The oddity didn’t escape the attention of the guy directly in front of me, either. “You don’t see that every day,” he exclaimed. “What next? The kitchen sink?” I mused. And we had ourselves a little funny. Two strangers sharing a spontaneous laugh in unexpected circumstances. How do you replicate that on Facebook? While I’m not in the business of scaremongering, the pseudo-relationship value of social networking is a worrying trend. How do you forge fruitful, fulfilling relationships with people – or strike up new friendships with strangers – if you are always online?
by Kristian Hollins Humanity’s social interaction has always been bounded by space. For thousands of years, this meant face-to-face contact. Then someone invented the written word and our communications changed. But the changes didn’t stop there: telegraph, radio, telephones, text messages, and the Internet. And each and every time, there was someone shouting from the sidelines that this new technology meant the death of human relationships: “Won’t someone please think of the children?!” My first theory: Facebook isn’t breaking down human relationships; it’s the evolution of them. Communication between people will always change, as new methods and ways to form, build and maintain human relationships become prevalent. The onus remains upon us to moderate our relationships with others online, as much as it has always been in the real world. A common argument against social networks is that people too often share too much, a point well taken by anyone whose parents are on Facebook. Parents often say some cringe-worthy, embarrassing things on social networks, not that I’m mentioning names (Mum), but is that really any different from reallife? Remember that sleepover when you were 14 and your Mum decided to warn everyone about that bladder problem you had when you were six? Case in point: parents are embarrassing in both the real world and the virtual one. But too often people forget that Facebook is not the real world. It is, however, an extension of it. Social networks have the capacity to connect people across the world, whether it be a friend in Sydney, or a cousin in Bratislava. Social networks can never replace the intricacies of real-life human interaction. They aren’t designed to. They’re designed to facilitate it. Which brings me to my second theory: We control Facebook, not the other way around. Facebook’s potential is limited to what role we allow it in our lives. If you’re concerned your relationships with friends and family are breaking down, they probably are. But perhaps the solution isn’t blaming Facebook in your next status update; unplug and get some facetime with the people you care about.
tea & a biccie
movie sets shortly after, doing sculpting and things, but you have to chase that work around and it’s fairly hard to come by. Where does your inspiration come from? I’ve always read 2000AD (Britain’s cult sci-fi comic) and lots of old English/European/American magazines and comics. English comics have always been my inspiration – I’ve always loved Judge Dredd (2000AD character), and then there was Ninja Turtles. Do all your works convey a story? I’m into writing comics, so yes, most of them have some sort of story or meaning behind them. I have produced my own comic book and I am working on the next one. How long does it take you to put together one page of a comic? It takes a good couple of days; it’s much quicker when you have a light box because you can get straight into the sketch. My previous comic probably took about six months of flat-out drawing every afternoon. I did little thumbnail sketches and then blew them up and put them on the light box.
Do you sell much work? Daniel Watts is a visual artist who paints, I’ve sold a fair few actually, but mostly private sales. I’ve also done a few caricatures for peosculpts and also draws/designs comics. ple; I don’t really like doing them but sometimes by Sarah Robertson you have to do the commercial stuff to get by. I’ve done a fair few designs for child care centres How did you get into art? I’ve done it all my life basically. My family are all also, doing up cartoon characters and things on artistic, I come from a creative background – my walls. Although, that dried up as they found it brother is also an artist and I have uncles who cheaper on the Internet to just download images, which really sucks. I do my work the traditional are musicians. way and it gets fairly frustrating with people What mediums do you use? just churning things out on computers – it kills The paintings I do are acrylic on canvas - I start the artist so to speak. with thumbnail sketches and then transpose them onto canvas. The comics I draw are ink What motivates you? and coloured pens. The covers of the comics are Music and books. I’m a drummer and I listen to sometimes Photoshopped, but I’m fairly limited Led Zeppelin when I paint. I did the whole comic with my use of that so I usually stick to tradi- book listening to Led Zeppelin. I went through every album I have on my iPod and when I put Led tional art. Zeppelin on I just zoned out and worked, it was Are you formally trained? pretty strange really, like I channelled something I have a Diploma of Fine Arts – I did the first year from deep within. in Newcastle and then I moved to Sydney and finished it off there. I got a job on the Warner Bros www.danwatts.com.au
bytes by Matthew Newton
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Even space itself is unable to escape the proliferation of social media, with Astronaut Douglas Wheelock becoming the first person to use the location-based social network Foursquare in space. Wheelock unlocked the “NASA Explorer” badge by checking into the International Space Station from a laptop. The partnership between NASA and Foursquare is NASA’s latest attempt to create excitement around space exploration. Earlier this year, astronaut T.J. Creamer sent the first tweet from space.
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Apple has once again plunged into the TV market with the release of the next generation Apple TV, which proudly proclaims to be small in size but big on entertainment. With your shiny new Apple TV device you can wirelessly stream any kind of media from your iTunes library to your television, as well as renting movies and TV shows in HD. What’s more is that if you already own an iPad, iPod Touch or iPhone, you can control Apple TV wirelessly with a free downloadable application. Apple TV is currently retailing at $129.
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Virtual Reality gaming is getting ever-closer with the release of Microsoft Kinect just around the corner. The Kinect is basically the next logical step forward from the Nintendo Wii; that is, playing games without a controller. The Kinect responds to how a user moves, allowing for a person to utilize their entire body to play a game. For example, if a game requires you to kick something, you do just that and your action will be replicated on screen. The controller-free environment doesn’t end here, however. The Kinect can also respond to voice commands. When watching a movie, saying, “Xbox pause,” will do just that. Nifty.
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Brisbane Lord Mayor Campbell Newman last week announced i3 Asia Pacific would install a $600 million fibre optic broadband network through Brisbane’s wastewater network within the next four years. The plan will give 90 percent of Brisbane residents access to 100Mb/s broadband before the NBN rollout in Sydney or Melbourne, and will come at no cost to the taxpayer. However, there is another side to the story – Finance and Economic Development Councillor Adrian Schrinner has confirmed that thus far no official contract has been signed between i3 and the Brisbane City Council and that last week’s announcement was merely to advertise that an agreement would be signed, at some time in the near-distant future.
by Kristian Smith
K
ristian Smith is now single. Kristian Smith likes this. Kristian Smith just went to the shops to buy some milk, tissues and some extra-small condoms. Kristian Smith commented on your status. Click. Click. Home. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. In only a few short years, Facebook and Twitter have taken over the Internet and, I’m more than a little ashamed to admit, a growing portion of my life. I’m almost to the point of worrying about my possible addiction to social websites and I wonder if there’s actually a support group that meets somewhere in Brisbane? If not, I’m willing to bet that there’s a group on Facebook. Hang on, I’ll check. Yep; and 16,981 people like this. I seriously hope that the majority of people who are fans of that page have only joined up because of the irony. That would make both me and Alanis very happy. It started out innocently enough, when an exgirlfriend asked me questions about Facebook’s privacy settings and the only way for me to really understand was to create an account for myself. That was around September 2007 and now I spend hours on there almost every day to the point where it’s effecting my work. You know, some exes will give you harassing phone calls, others will give you an STD. Mine gave me Facebook; yeah, thanks for that.
my new jokes or some kind of social commentary. And I’m such a comment-whore that if I don’t get any comments or ‘likes’ within about an hour or so, I’ll simply delete it and try again. Because Facebook is obviously very narcissistic. Or is it just me? Websites like Facebook and Twitter are the unedited news source of the future, the new-age equivalent of writing “Jodie was here” on the toilet wall and the most public of public forums. And it’s not only celebrities like Stephanie Rice and Wil Anderson who get themselves in trouble by updating inappropriately. Every day there are friendships and relationships breaking up due to what’s being typed from behind the safety of a laptop screen or an iPhone. So think before you type and, from my experience, never drink and Facebook.
Social media can be a powerful marketing tool, a handy way to keep in touch with close friends or reconnect with old friends and the biggest timewaster since Super Nintendo. With it, you have the power to update your status with something Sometimes I’ll update my status with some cool funny, interesting, risque, newsworthy, romantic, song lyrics, or maybe I’ll post something with a exciting or just plain old boring. So; what’s on hidden message for that girl I’m chasing in the your mind? hope that she’ll notice, but mainly I’ll test out
by Craig Sims
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ecently, I spent some time with my adorable 18-month-old nephew and it got me thinking about how simple and enjoyable life can be when viewed through the eyes of a child. (Before you click ‘next page’, I am not preaching that you should go out and get rid of all your worldly possessions or start singing Kumbaya; just bear with me). I wish I could go back in time to when life was like this and the world was full of wonder and amazement, as opposed to deadlines, dirt and dismay. Think back to when McDonalds was the greatest thing ever and the sheer excitement of going there was overwhelming. Now, a trip to McDonalds is akin to the walk of shame (excluding McCafe of course). Remember when leaves in the garden were fascinating; when looking at them and crunching them in Autumn was fun? Unfortunately now with 30 TV channels, broadband and an X-Box, there is still nothing to do. Cast your mind back to when you had a problem, you could just cry or whinge and someone who loved you would drop everything and come running. Unfortunately, acting this way as an adult may either end you up in jail, in the dole queue or in a nice room with no windows and a rather snug fitting ‘one size fits all’ jacket. Some might argue that some people continue to do this and prosper - I am not touching that one. Remember when Sesame Street was the greatest show and you would wait all day for that catchy opening line, “Sunny Days sweeping the clouds away....” and have fun thinking about what the letter of the day would be? Now when some overrated show runs overtime and pushes back the start time of your show, you threaten to call the network and abuse someone. Lastly and most importantly, remember when all the world’s problems, no matter how big or small, significant or insignificant, could be solved by a hug and a pat on the back. Issues such as, bumping your head, dropping your toy, spilling your drink and not being able to open the cupboard could all be solved and cured by the magic of a hug. Sure growing up and having money, responsibility and the freedom to do what you want to do
is great, but just stop and think and remember how simple life used to be. Bring back the days of the hug I say. But remember, hugging people at random may solve some initial problems, but may be the catalyst for a whole plethora of new ones.
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by Kristian Hollins n my 24 years of life, I’ve cumulatively grown facial hair for about 18 months. Not long in the grand scheme of things. But in that short time I became so enamored with my growth that the thought of cutting it caused me physical pain; as if choosing which limb I could deal with amputating. But more than that, my beard became something more than a mere fashion. It became an essential part of how I defined myself, a key piece of my self-image; a part of who I was. Earlier this year when attending a job interview, I was forced to choose between societal conventions and my own self assurance. For days, I debated the best course of action, eventually choosing the former, and shaving off my beard. I did the deed quickly, not allowing myself time to think. When I finished, I jumped straight in the shower, not willing to look at the self-inflicted damage. The water felt strange on my face, like when you wake after sleeping on your arm: the knowledge that something so fundamentally a part of one’s self can feel so foreign and alien. There are few things as disconcerting in life as looking in a mirror and not recognising the person looking back. When I finally wiped the steam from the mirror, the boy looking back was unfamiliar - a mere shadow of the man I had been. It is not a feeling I would wish on anyone, even my worst enemy. Beards have a long and checkered history in society. For many hundreds of years, men shaved their beards to conform to a social construct. Those who kept beards were ostracized, their characters and personalities judged unfairly. The remnants of this belief can be seen in contemporary society - bikies, stoners and members of metal bands are almost universally criticized for their facial growth. Men
Opposite: images courtesy of Shelley Hiam, The Austin Chronicle (www.theaustinchronicle.com)
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who shun conformity and wear their beards as a badge of that revolt. A beard growing friend of mine one said to me: “Besides getting married, growing a beard was the best thing I’ve done with my life.” Although I’m unmarried, I’m inclined to agree with him. Although still young, I have achieved some humble success in my life. I have served in the Australian military. I am decently educated, with two formal degrees bearing my name, and along the way have discovered invaluable skills that could never be taught at a university. I have travelled the world, both first and third, seen wonders and horrors. Nothing has completed me like a beard. The sense of fraternity felt by growing a beard cannot be underestimated. There is an inherent link, a subtle but tenable bond between two men, otherwise unknown to each other, but brought together in mutual recognition of facial growth. The defining moment of my ‘born-again-bearded’ life came in a nightclub. As I walked through the beer-garden of a Brisbane pub, I noticed a security guard walk towards me. He was older than I was, perhaps in his early thirties, but the kind of man who wore his age as a badge of a life well-lived. Most strikingly, he sported a bright, red-haired beard, worn in two plaits that reached to his waist. As he passed me, looking for all the world like some mythical figure from viking folklore, he casually said, “Nice beard.” I haven’t been the same since. It seems strange to me that the thing most natural to a man, to grow a beard, is also the thing we most commonly deny ourselves. But judging a book by its cover has not left our society, and although progress has been made, the bearded are sadly still ostracised. The truth of the matter is this: shaving is not real. A beard is a natural thing, not a fashion item to be worn and discarded with the season.
by Daniel Fraser
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his message goes out to all the ‘beard-challenged’ men. A reminder to stay strong as the darkest month on the calendar comes along for us; Movember. I am all for prostate cancer awareness, but who decided we should raise the money by growing facial hair? I believe the creator of this event hated beard-challenged men. Why not ‘Flabuary’? How much fat can you put on in 28 days? 29 each leap year! My Father could grow a beard at 16. My Grandfather had a nice, thick moustache. Where did it all go wrong for me? I am part of a special group – the beard-challenged’. 21 years old and the best I can get are random shoots of hair every few days. Perhaps beards skip a generation every now and then? How do you think the beard-challenged feel when their friends have an in-depth discussion about how long they can grow their beards? Lonely, sad and excluded is the answer, if you were wondering. So while you bearded men (and some women) enjoy the soft/coarse/rough feel of your beards and five o’clock shadows, spare a thought for the ‘beard-challenged’ this Movember, as we once again pretend to be too cool for facial hair.
by Kieran Salsone
I
miss my beard.
My scratchy, bedraggled, and slightly pervish beard was sacrificed to the great
corporate spirit. Its spiraling journey down my bathroom sink marked the end of a grim ritual where I give thanks to the lords of employment. It kills me every time. I’ve never quite understood the link made between being clean-shaven and being professional. I imagine it came from a time in our history where you needed a beard to waste time on Facebook. I look better with a beard, and by that I mean I look less like a 12-year-old eunuch. Perhaps the next time someone asks me to shave I should accuse them of being a paedophile? It works for A Current Affair. My partner isn’t as fond of my beard as I am. The kiss-scratch-kiss-scratch routine of affectioning someone whose face sticks to velcro would, I assume, get old rather quickly. I can’t get around the rationale - it’s true that kissing is nicer without facial forestry. Win for her I assume. Soup strainers are bad enough, but storing leftovers in your neck-beard is the quickest way to alienate everyone. So why do I miss my beard? As many men have noticed, a beard is the best way of covering fat. It doesn’t matter if you’re stacking it on around the hips, gut, or backside, a beard will cover it. True story. I’ve been doing it for years and I’ve noticed that the guys around me are equally prone to gluing dead rats to their face when they’ve been putting on weight. There’s also the history thing. I spent most of my childhood wishing I had a beard. When it finally completed its journey out of my face, I knew that we’d come a long way together. Cold nights keeping each other warm, meals we’ve shared, women we’ve loved/scraped: a man and his beard are a team. One day, I promise myself on occasion, I will grow the full Karl Marx and strut through the mall the way only a man with a shrub attached to his lower jaw can.
lover who enjoys a drink and a punt then this place is ground zero for good times.
by Paul Smeaton
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he Spring Racing Carnival is here again; a chance for the country’s best horses, jockeys and trainers to come together and test their talents in the richest races in the country. Now let’s be serious, it’s really a chance for millions of Australians who know nothing about racing to dress up to the nines and get sloshed with their friends. I definitely fit into this latter group. Despite a very limited understanding of this sport of kings, Melbourne Cup Day remains one of my favourite days of the year. Where else can I spend hundreds of dollars on an outfit and go out for an entire day with the express intention of combining my love of drinking and gambling, while probably ruining my new clothing investment in the process. I’ve only had the chance to go to the Melbourne Cup once and I can tell you if you’re a sports
I think the movie ‘Kenny’ captured the true essence of Melbourne Cup Day better than anything else I can think of. There’s a scene where Shane Jacobson’s character Kenny is cleaning the ontrack port-a-loos at Flemington while caring for his young son who he has brought to work with him for the day. One after another, finely dressed patrons on the course tell him how disgusting he is to expose his son to such a filthy job. He takes the criticism with good humour and continues on with his work. In a later scene, we witness the wind-up of the day’s events and Kenny is preparing to take his son home for the night. As he leaves we see a couple of the female critics from earlier in the day completely drunk and relieving themselves by squatting in the car park. Touché Kenny, touché. So regardless of what happens on track this year in the race that stops the nation, we can be sure that millions of Aussies will be enjoying their own celebratory Cup Day experience. For me, well the track work is behind me. I’ve had a warm-up run on Caulfield Cup Day, now it’s time to put the blinkers on and sprint to the post because fun like this comes but only once a year.
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November 2010
I got one with a leather jacket with black boot rissy musicians, Jake and Mablo Fehres polished, slicked back hair,” says Mablo (guitar/ moved to LA in 2007 to chase the dream of vocals). being signed and becoming internationally The boys were questioned as to their constant recognised. Using their Australian nationality to return to the country, their lack of a return ticktheir advantage, they formed a three-man band et home and the bag full of newly purchased rewith American guitarist Eric Slater, called Astral cording equipment they were lugging with them. Aliens (pun totally intended) and were signed by After lengthy discussions and a full body frisk, Wizard. the Australian consulate was called, as well as Astral Aliens managed to work their way up LA’s their parents, and they were shuffled into a prihottest list, winning American rock radio station vate room for eight hours with only sitcoms to KROQ’s Battle for Los Angeles for two consecu- watch before being deported back to Australia. by Sarah Robertson
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tive years. The band was conquering the music scene and performing in some of LA’s prominent rock venues such as The Viper Room, Knitting
“You try to pick out which guard you want, because you hope that one might be more lenient than another, but then you realise that they are all there because they want to be border guards” Factory and other impressive locations.
Astral Aliens had six months left on their contract with Eric Slater, but due to being unable to re-enter the country for a long period of time, they had to forsake everything they had built up over the last two years and return home. There were no tails between legs for the Fehres brothers however, who spent the plane ride home discussing new possible band names until they came up with ‘The Deported’.
Ever since then it has been all systems go. Jake and Mablo have been touring Queensland for most of this year, visiting places like Theebine – the home of an outcast bikie gang, Airlie Beach and Esk. Their entire genre of music has also taken a shift from rock to electro rock – where they have learnt, through the wisdom of their new producer Steve Howard, to combine Mablo’s love of rock, with Jake’s love of pop and come up with something that works for both them and their new audience.
However, in February this year after exiting and trying to re-enter America for the fourth time on the wrong visa, the boys were questioned and pulled aside for interrogation. “We arrived there and went through the usual thing. We went through where the border guards were Check out The Deported out on Myspace: sitting and handed in our passports and every- www.myspace.com/thedeportedband thing, and the guy took a longer look than usual and I started going ‘ah fuck, something is up’. The Deported are launching The first thing that caused an issue was that their latest CD on Novemwe didn’t have proof of our return ticket,” tells ber 13 at The Globe in BrisJake (bass/vocals). bane. They are giving two LAX security searched the brother’s belongings lucky readers the chance to win a double and after sighting a suitcase full of recording pass to see them and also take equipment, they were taken to a room and queshome their first EP. To be in tioned. “You try to pick out which guard you the running, email your details want, because you hope that one might be more to competitions@biscuitmagalenient than another, but then you realise that zine.com.au with “Deported” in they are all there because they want to be borthe subject line. Good luck! der guards; one is just as strict as the other.
Lion Island are an eclectic Brisbane band made up of seven members, with their own individual stance musically, who have come together through an intricate web of connections to form a band which explores many genres of music. Sporting electric guitars, trumpet, violin, drums, bass, organ and the silky vocals of front-man Matthew Vale they have performed over 100 live shows and are set to release their first album in early 2011 created with the help of producer Steve Bartlett (Skinny Jean, Mr Maps and Hungry Kids of Hungary). “We are often mislabeled because of the type of music we make,” tells Adrian (guitar). “We all come from very different backgrounds with different interests in music.” Each inspired by their own genre from jazz to pop, the band manages to touch on a little bit of everything to keep everyone happy. Front-man Matthew writes all the music and
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November 2010
entertainment then brings it to the band to add their final touches. “I sit around for hours behind a piano and all my other instruments and just play and things come out. Who are your biggest musical influences? “If we don’t all dig songs then they don’t stick, so we’ve had a couple of songs where that’s happened. Sometimes I’ll stuff around at home and come up with a song but it doesn’t translate to the band and that’s fine. We’re not pressured to shape something if it doesn’t fit.” The band, who have been playing together since January last year, all claim that the success of their septet is due to their combined passive nature. “I think everyone is a bit passive and a little bit introverted so nobody really has a big personality or ego to clash with,” says Bec (trumpet). “Everyone gets along really well. That’s probably a bit boring for a seven-member band.” The band’s name is another creation of Matthew, and came to him during a holiday with his partner and her family. “I was trying to come up with a name, and I put Lion Island to my partner’s Dad who was quite ill at the time – he’s passed away now. But he really liked the name so it stuck,” says Matthew. “I’m really big on words and syllables and how they fit together. It just rolled off the tongue.” So why vote for them? “Our music suits the festival perfectly – especially there on the January afternoon when the sun’s setting,” says Adrian. “The lineup this year is great – but it needs us there too!” Check out Lion Island at their Myspace. Then visit www.sunsetsounds.com.au/fosterband to help get Lion Island to Sunset Sounds.
Nick Smethurst - guitar The Mountain Goats, This Town Needs Guns and American Football (the band).
Bec Cushelly - trumpet I really love Sufjan Stevens. I really like what he did for trumpets. I still like listening to classical and instrumental stuff. Adrian Andrews - electric guitar Without making any comparisons between us and this band I really like Arcade Fire. I taught myself how to play guitar by listening to Radiohead albums so they’re probably my main influence. Dwayne Pearce - bass I am a huge, humungous Rivers Cuomo fan, from Weezer.
Matthew Vale - vocals and acoustic guitar I like Harry Belafonte, Louis Friedman, The Cure, Big Mama Thornton, Sister Rosetta Tharpe, Coldplay, Radiohead, Bob Dylan. Skye McNicol - violin I have pretty broad influences. I always look to Tom Waits in most situations in life.
Julian Cerreto - drums I love Tom Waits, and a lot of blues and roots music.
by Jil Hogan
J
ust before midnight on October 15, credit cards across Australia cackled with glee our as fine currency hit parity with the US dollar. So what’s one to do? Shop til our fingers can click no more of course. Avoid the convenience of a 13-or-so hour flight and take advantage of some of the best stores America has to offer without ever leaving the comfort of your own home.
Urban Outfitters (www.urbanoutfitters.com) The shop full of everything you never knew you wanted. While they have gorgeous clothes for guys and gals, the real fun to be had is in the Apartment section. Be sure to also check out the sales - the perfect place to find Christmas presents. Shipping: A flat rate of US$35.
American Apparel (store.amercianapparel.com.au) A great range of clothes, accessories and gifts for guys, girls, kids – even your pets. The best bit – prices are displayed in Aussie dollars. Shipping: Orders under $100 ship at a flat rate of $8. Orders over $100 ship free.
Victoria Secret (www.victoriassecret.com) While the majority of us certainly aren’t going to grace the runway with the Victoria Secret Angels any day soon, we can certainly clad ourselves in Victoria’s Secret’s finest. Less intimidating than the actual stores, the website features their full range of underwear, clothing, swimwear, shoes and beauty. Shipping: Starts at US$27.99
Forever 21 (www.forever21.com) A bit of bling to glam-up my Saturday night outfit for $1.50? Don’t mind if I do. Forever 21 is well known for their cheap as chips jewellery and accessories, and as anyone who’s on their mailing list knows, they’re always up for a bit of a sale. Shipping: Starting at US$35
Threadless (www.threadless.com) Without a doubt, the coolest place to find Tees on the net. Even better? They start at US$5. Shipping: US$10 shipping on orders over US$50.
travel
The Clarity on Parity by Kristian Hollins What? At 11:18pm on Friday October 15 for almost a full 10 seconds, the Australian dollar hit US$1.0004 before falling back a few cents. Parity, long thought a pipedream, had been hit. Think Geek - www.thinkgeek.com A site stocked with everything you need to add a bit of nerd to your life, from clothing to gadgets to books and food. Fantastic for gifts. Shipping: Calculated at checkout.
by Elizabeth Sims So you have decided to take advantage of the awesome exchange rates and bargain flights to the USA? But wait: your incredibly cheap fares mean that you are not travelling until next year. By then the exchange rate may have dropped and the dollar that you are holding in your hand may not be worth as much as you thought. Before you consider rushing out and converting all your money into USD straight away, it may pay to look at some of your currency options. One is a cash passport, now offered at many banks and money exchange bureaus. These are cards that you pre-load with money (at a set exchange rate) and can be used overseas like an ATM/EFTPOS card. The advantage is that you can lock in an exchange rate now. Be careful though as some of the cards have quite high withdrawal fees, so it may pay to take your cash out in larger amounts once you are overseas.
How? The Aussie Dollar is notoriously stable compared to many world currencies: massive fluctuations in its value, up or down, are rare. Even this jump was a long time coming, having been pushed upwards by a few contributing factors. In the USA, the government has been printing more money aiming to weaken the Greenback and boost overseas interest in their weak and flailing economy. This was coupled with Australia’s strong economy post-the-big-ass-mess of the GFC, based on our resource milkshake bringing Asia to the yard. Strong interest rates in Australia mean that investors look to the Aus. as a safe way to store money and make some interest. What does this mean for us? While Swannie will tell you it’s a sign of a strong economy and “good economic management”, what it really means is awesome deals for Australians. If you’re travelling to, buying imported goods – or importing your own – from the States, you’ll be getting more bang for your buck. Future predictions? The majority of economists seem to think the Aus. will continue to build value, averaging around US$1.10 over the next few years. But then, these are the same clowns who didn’t see the biggest crash in a century headed our way.
health
by Kyla Sorenne ooking at the burger made my mouth water. I felt the softness of the bun under my fingers as I gently positioned the first tasty mouthful of layers of meat and bread towards my eager lips. My tongue explodes with the tangy flavour of the sauce mingling with the patty, and I can feel something buttery sneak its way down my chin.
L
mood levels and arterial functioning over the next few hours. The sodium increases the likelihood of high blood pressure and fluid retention. The high amount of sugar gives us a spike in energy that quickly fades, and is linked with Cardio Vascular Disease or CDV. The fats and cholesterol thicken the walls of the arteries in the heart.
As this mouthful quickly dissolves and enters the tract towards my stomach, a whole new world of experiences begins. I feel buoyed with energy as small amounts of fats and sugars have their effect. I feel good; I eat more. What I don’t realise is that what tastes good right now, feels sickening in about 30 minutes due to the sheer amounts of cholesterol, carbohydrates, saturated fats, sugar and sodium entering my blood stream. Yes the blood stream; that internal highway leading straight to my poor little heart.
The carbohydrates which have a high glycemic index have been linked in recent studies to causing arterial stress and can lead to heart disease or sudden death. You’ve got to ask yourself; why do we eat it? The next time you are eye to eye with a fast fried food treat, ask yourself, ‘Am I feeling lucky?’ The good news is that regular exercise and healthy eating can improve your health dramatically and even reverse the early onset of some of these diseases.
The butter, the cheese, any cream in the sauce, Read more from Kyla at: the egg, the palm kernel oil as well as the meat www.theawakenedheart.com patty are all sources of saturated fat. All of this enters the blood stream, effecting
sips & nibbles
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November 2010
by Sarah Robertson ’m hungry, feeling creative and want to cook something delicious from scratch; but the last thing I want to do is change out of my ‘inside’ clothes, get in the car and have to push a trolley around Woolworths. The solution to my problem is simple; use random ingredients from my fridge/freezer/cupboard and really put my creativity to the test. I am lucky (or wasteful) enough to have a kitchen packed full of all sorts of ingredients that get ignored in place of the newest and latest supermarket special. Simple is best; I have decided that a snack is better than a meal because I have movies to watch and online magazines to flick through. The recipes I intend to create will take no longer than half an hour to cook, consist of minimal, everyday ingredients and most of all, they will be somewhat attractive (I hate eating ugly food). Now to see what I come up with:
I
Pumpkin with shallot and seeded mustard canapés What you need: 2 tbsp Nuttelex or margarine 3 tsp cream cheese 1.5 tbsp seeded mustard 2 fresh shallots, thinly sliced 4 pieces bread (I used the leftover wholemeal in my fridge) 16 cubes of pumpkin, roasted Pinch of salt Pinch of paprika What to do: 1. Chop pumpkin and put in oven at 180ºC for 20mins or until cooked. Leave to cool. 2. Mix Nuttelex, cream cheese, mustard, shallots and salt in a large bowl until combined. 3. Cut crust from bread and slice into squares. Place in the oven until crunchy. Remove and allow to cool. 4. Making sure that the pumpkin and bread are cool, spread 1-2 tsp of the cream cheese mixture on each square of toast and top with a piece of pumpkin. 5. Arrange canapes nicely on a plate and enjoy.
Coconut, white muesli biscuits
chocolate
and
What you need: 1 ¼ cup muesli 1 cup SR flour ½ cup brown sugar 1 cup desiccated coconut 1 cup chopped white chocolate 1/3 tsp baking soda ½ tsp salt ½ cup oil 2 small eggs 1 tsp almond essence What to do: 1. Heat oven to 180ºC. Combine all dry ingredients in a large bowl. 2. Add wet ingredients and combine thoroughly. 3. Roll dough into twelve – fifteen balls and place on a greased cookie tray. 4. Bake for 12-15 minutes, until golden brown. 5. Allow to cool before removing from pan and putting in your mouth.
sips & nibbles What you need: 2 large green apples, grated 1-2 tbsp lemon juice 2 tbsp brown sugar 2 tsp cinnamon 1 bag (100g) instant oats 1 tbsp slivered almonds 2 sheets puff pastry, thawed What to do: 1. Mix grated apple, lemon juice, sugar, oats, almonds and cinnamon in a bowl. 2. Spread mixture in the middle of each sheet of pastry, leaving a 2cm gap at both ends. 3. Roll the sheet of pastry up and make sure the ends are pressed together so that the content doesn’t fall out. 4. Slice roll in 2cm slices and place pattern side up on a greased tray. 5. Cook scrolls for 15-20 mins at 150ºC or until golden.
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Tea has heaps of benefits – from fighting against cancer and aging to aiding in weight loss. But with so many varieties out there these days, where to begin? Jil Hogan had a chat to John Thompson from tea shop T2 about the delightful world of tea.
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“Our dream was to create an enticing blend of tradition and contemporary style that appeals to all tastes,” says John of the born-and-bred Aussie company. “We have inspired a new generation and have found a welcome home in the hearts of true tea lovers everywhere.” So which one should you choose?
Want to improve your wellbeing? Our preference over a wheat grass shot is our ancient Matcha tea. Nutrient rich powdered green tea from Japan, that is high in antioxidants, chlorophyll and fibre.
For the non-tea drinker? “Our range of infusions or Tisanes will be absolutely ideal. All our tisanes are made from carefully chosen and cultivated ingredients, providing pleasure and goodness with every sip. All are a treat, whether served hot or icy-cold. T2’s range of tisanes foster creativity, so feel free to mix and match with fresh fruits and herbs to create a signature tea that sings.” Also try: Strawberries & Cream - great hot and amazing chilled, will suit almost any taste bud.
Also try: Ruby Red Rosehip – it’s cleansing, nutritious and high in vitamin C.
Need a perk up in the morning?
Prefer something more traditional?
Awaken the senses with Refresh - an invigorating and refreshing caffeine-free blend of herbs. Also try: Morning Red for a little caffeine boost.
Our range of black teas with a touch more will do the trick. Melbourne Breakfast with a little smooth and velvety vanilla, or Brisbane Breakfast with subtle tropical mango.
After a big night? Having trouble drifting off? Then it’s time for a herbal blend and what better than Sleep Tight - a dreamy blend of relaxing herbs to send you off to the land of nod. Calming and quiet, warming, mild and muted, this is a glorious way to say goodnight.
Lemongrass & Ginger- Cleansing, calming, refreshing and gently stimulating, this herbal tea will ease an upset tummy and rehydrate!
Buy online at www.t2tea.com. Sydneysiders can now visit the newly re-fitted Bondi Junction store. Brisbanites, check out the new store at Queens Plaza.
www.biscuitmagazine.com.au
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Photography: Sarah Robertson & Kristian Hollins Styling: Lauren Sewell
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Left and right: Cover-up by Terri Donna Above: Swimwear by Rebecca Manning
Above & right: Swimwear by Rebecca Manning
Left & Below: Swimwear by Rebecca Manning Right: Swimwear by Black Milk
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November 2010
Above: Kaftan by Foxton Danger Right: Bikini by Terri Donna Models: Charlie Archer Model Management Hair: Willow Hair Salon Makeup: Christine Rees
www.biscuitmagazine.com.au
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by Jil Hogan
A
s the warmer weather starts creeping its way through our floor boards, give your space a fresh, clean and modern update with splashes of white. Without spending a fortune, a few key pieces will brighten up any room.
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Poloma Ceramic Vase, www. villaandhut.com $29
Ecoya Vanilla Bean Candle, www.villaandhut.com $35 Wooden Symbol, www.typoshop. com.au $4.95
Nest Frame Set 4, www.typoshop. com.au $19.95
Flip Clock, www.typoshop.com.au $19.95
Canvas Print, www.typoshop.com.au $39.95 Mail box, www.typoshop.com.au $14.95
www.biscuitmagazine.com.au
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This Month’s Beauty Crush:
by Kelly Forbes
I
OK, so I didn’t just discover it this month, but this time of year is perfect to apply that gradual tan; because we all want a tan for Summer, but no one’s going to get it with such temperamental weather! Apply every night after exfoliating for quick results, or simply every second night for a hint of colour! Dove Summer Glow Beauty Body Lotion for fair to medium skin ($6.95).
t’s November and we all know what that means; suddenly waking up and wondering if we’ve all gone back in time to the seventies where the humble moustache was a fashion statement. Movember Foundation Australia has not only given us the chance to laugh ourselves silly, but has helped raise vital funds and awareness for men’s health for years. For the ladies, I urge you to sit back and take in the humour. Men, I’d like to awaken you to the possibilities that could be a very brilliant Mo, from the handlebar to the pencil moustache. Growing a moustache does involve some responsibility; you can’t just walk around willynilly without the right stream of confidence and attitude. The moustache must reflect how cool you really think you are, compliment your cheesy ‘lift of one eyebrow’ move, and must represent everything wearing a moustache embodies. It is essential to wash and condition your ‘stache, maintaining that luxurious sheen. To keep your moustache in shape use a sharp razor to completely define your look, and use a light hair wax to keep it all in place. You could even get yourself a light, travel friendly comb for quick touch-ups. So guys, go and join your fellow Mo Bro’s this Movember and become a symbol of men’s health awareness (and the hilarious memories of seventies movie classics).
Want the perfect natural eye makeup look? Try IntensifEye Eyeshadow in Bees Kness from Australis. Perfect applied wet or dry, the colours are beautiful and natural, but still give an iridescent glow to brighten eyes. ($12.95)
When these products came in the mail I was so very excited. Reading all about the products for weeks on the Amina Cosmetics website (www.aminacosmetics.com.au) I simply had to share my excitement for the mineral makeup industry. Not only does this Australian brand have some amazing mineral makeup, including some very vibrant eye shadows, the brand has furthered the mineral craze to beauty products and skincare. The skincare line is not only gentle on your face, but I noticed clear results the day after use. I definitely recommend! (Amina Cosmetics Chamomile Facial Mist $14.95, One Step Foaming Cleanser $26.95, Facial Treatment Serum for Normal/Dry skin $34.95 and Pro-Repair $32.95.)
When seeking advice for my own hair, who else is better than asking Julie Forbes, hairdresser of 25+ years, and my Mum, who just seems to know everything. Her tip for extremely dry hair; ‘If your hair is very dry or damaged use a hair moisture treatment as conditioner every time you wash’. Depending on your budget, try Redken All Soft Heavy Cream (RRP $34.00) or Herbal Essences Long Term Relationship Treatment Mask 150mL ($6.45).
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November 2010
By Esther Gallois
M
ovember can be a month of humiliation for those of us that are not blessed with a rug on their mug. At the Brisbane Suitcase Rummage last month I met a charming little lady with the solution. Sarah Rochford handcrafts felt moustaches and whacks them on sticks, badges and eco-friendly book bags. I caught up with the queen of the mo’ to share in her hairy passion. Why the obsession with moustaches? Well I suppose it ultimately stems from my love of all things pop culture and kitsch. Mo’s are just so much fun and always manage to get a laugh. Whose moustache do you like to draw your inthey can sometimes be pretty plain so I thought spiration from? it would be great to have some calico bags with Wow tough call. There are so many great mo’ style different mo’ styles so that everyone could pick icons out there: Hulk Hogan, Merv Hughes, Derek their favourite. Smalls. Although I would have to say Tom Selleck from his Magnum PI days is definitely a favourite What materials do you like to work with? and artist Salvador Dali sported a wicked, kooky The materials I use are fairly easy to come by. I mo’. use good quality wool felt, bamboo and calico. It Why did you start putting them on bags, badg- is amazing what you can create from such simple items. es, sticks etc? When the opportunity came up to be involved in the first Suitcase Rummage I was trying to come up with something quirky and inexpensive that I thought people could get a laugh out of. Mo’s are pretty big in the craft blog scene at the moment and I thought it would be great to get them out there in the mainstream and put them on items that people could enjoy every day. Green shopping bags are great for the environment but
Do you secretly wish you could have a moustache?
Yes, but only if it’s on a stick! I’d probably have to seek medical advice or at very least a beautician if I actually started growing one of my own. What will you be doing to celebrate Movember? Unfortunately I can’t grow one of my own but I will definitely be sporting one of my mo’s on a stick. At least I can change my mo’ depending on the mood.
Images courtesy of Sarah Rochford.
Where can we next pick up all your mo’ goodies? I will be at the next Suitcase Rummage on the 7th of November at King George Square in Brisbane. I’ll have lots of mo’ goodies for sale including mo’ bags, mo’s on sticks and some mo’ badges. So even if you can’t grow a mo’ for Movember you can still join in on the fun! You can also keep track of Sarah’s every move with her blog: boxbrownies.blogspot.com
short story
Detectives Rafe Liskel and Jett Sawyer stood on the outside of the one-way window, looking into the interrogation room. ‘This one will be famous. Not like Jack the Ripper famous...but famous nonetheless,’ ‘God damn sick son-of-a-bitch.’ Rafe chuckled, ‘to him it was just a matter of good business.’ ‘Yeah, and look where that got him,’ said Jett. Rafe toyed with the straps of his suspenders. Jett crossed his arms tightly and shoved his hands under his armpits. He looked cold rather than focused. On the other side of the glass Peter Broan was digging the edge of his handcuffs into the wooden table. Every now and then he would glance up towards the window, seeing right through. ‘He knows we’re watching him,’ Rafe said. ‘Good.’ Jett entered the room and leant against the concrete wall while Rafe sat on the edge of the table. A smirk crept onto Peter’s face. ‘Something funny, Mr Broan?’ Jett stared at Peter who was carving into the desk. ‘If you keep that up you’ll be looking at adding vandalism to your collection of charges,’ said Rafe. ‘Well I’m gonna need to find a new profession since you shut down my farm. I always was good at drawing and stuff,’ Peter’s voice flourished unnaturally with confidence and serenity. At twenty years of age he was too young to be so comfortable with his current situation. Rafe slapped the table and walked to the other side of the room. ‘Won’t be any need for that. Once you tell us what you did you’ll be lucky to see the light of day again so you might as well save yourself the trouble.’ Cocky little arsehole. Peter’s hands dropped into his lap and Rafe saw the murderer glare at him through pale eyes. They were small, ugly things that looked like they had been pried from a dead man’s face and shoved into the eye sockets of a young boy. Rafe had heard people say that the eyes were the windows to the soul. He had never really believed in stuff like that, but maybe in this case it was true. ‘You already know everything. Why don’t you just
Harvest
by Victoria Toms
charge me and be done with it?’ ‘Why’d you do it?’ Jett said. He took a few steps forward, closing the distance between where he was standing and the desk. ‘C’mon man, try and be a little bit more creative,’ Peter said and laughed, ‘how about you tell me all the reasons why you think I did it, and I’ll tell you if you’re hot or cold?’ ‘This is ridiculous,’ Rafe mumbled as he walked along the back of the room. ‘All right,’ Jett sat down in the chair opposite Peter, ‘how about attention? Must have been lonely on that big farm after your father died?’ Peter stood up and smashed his hands down on the table top. The sound of his handcuffs clanging against the wood exploded around the room, bouncing off every surface. ‘COLD!’ A moment passed before Peter fell back into his chair with his head in his hands, giggling uncontrollably. ‘Hey,’ Rafe marched over to him and clapped his hands in his face. Peter’s laughter sounded high pitched and delirious as he threw his head back and bounced his feet against the floor. ‘Stop it,’ Rafe yelled, and kicked the leg of the chair. Peter stopped immediately and his head rolled slowly forward until his eyes locked with Jett’s. A calm smile controlled his face. ‘Have you ever owned a business, detective?’ Jett nodded. ‘So you would agree that keeping your business alive is paramount?’ ‘To a degree, yes. But sometimes other things are more important,’ Peter looked down at the floor, shaking his head, ‘Everyone needs to make a living.’ ‘Don’t all murder for it,’ Rafe said. ‘Well what about hunters?’ Peter said and started laughing again.
‘That’s funny, that’s real funny.’ Rafe stepped back and stood behind Jett who sat quietly in his chair, his hands clasped loosely in his lap. He yawned and checked his watch. Although they hadn’t worked together for very long, Jett reminded Rafe of a hardboiled, film noir protagonist, like Sam Spade or Walter Neff. Day after day he wore the same calm yet aloof expression, just as he always seemed so at ease and almost bored when he was dealing with dangerous criminals, but beyond the cold facade it was clear that Jett had not always been this way. Something had changed him. Whenever Rafe looked at him he could see it peeking out through the heavy lines that draped themselves around Jett’s mouth and pulled at the corners of his eyes. It was right there, etched into his face, like a history book on display. Rafe guessed that after spending so many years around killers, even Hell would be wary; it was bound to do something to you. That’s what must have happened to Jett. ‘Let’s try again, Mr Broan,’ Jett said. ‘Okay, okay, okay I’ll tell you,’ Peter snapped. ‘We were building quite a good reputation for ourselves. Everyone loved our home grown veggies, especially the pumpkins. Those were our pride and joy and then...’ He lifted his head and Rafe noticed that the blood had completely rushed from his face and he was staring at Jett with an empty expression. ‘And then you killed my Dad,’ the corners of Peter’s mouth hung down and his nostrils flared. ‘He wasn’t there to finish teaching me about farming so our crops began to die. At the same time we had some tourists pass through town and they stopped at our farm. I still had the sign out, you see. Then I remembered Dad telling me that animal bodies make for great fertiliser. And that’s when I started doing it. Dad was right, all my produce grew big and strong and even more people started stopping in on their way to wherever they were going. And the more customers I got from out of town, the better my crops became.’ Peter closed his eyes and licked his lips through a crazed smile, ‘I can just taste them. They were so juicy, so ripe. Too bad Dad wasn’t able to be there to share the experience with me...such a shame his life was ended so abruptly.’
Rafe shook his head in disbelief. Even though he already knew what had happened to the sixteen missing tourists, hearing the story first hand was enough to put even the toughest nerves on edge. Jett shifted in his seat and leant in towards Peter. ‘How dare you try and blame this on me,’ he whispered. ‘But it is your fault.’ ‘It’s not my fault you turned out to be just like your damn father,’ Jett said calmly. Peter slumped back in his seat and rested his elbows on the arms of the chair, examining his handcuffs. ‘I think we’re done here,’ Jett said. He got up and pushed the chair in and made his way towards the door. Rafe followed closely behind him. ‘I have a small veggie patch about an hour from my farm. That’s where I grow my favourite crops.’ The detectives paused. ‘What?’ Jett said. Peter pursed his lips as he tried to stifle his laughter and amusement flashed in his eyes. Without looking at Jett he said, ‘I think this year’s harvest will be my best.’ ‘What are you talking about?’ Jett said. ‘An eye for an eye, right detective?’ ‘Hey man let’s go, he’s just messing around. Look at him...crazy bastard.’ Jett ignored Rafe and walked back to the desk, his attention fixed on the man in the middle of the room. ‘How is Melanie? You haven’t spoken to her in a while have you? Been a bit busy at work, hey? Don’t worry I understand.’ Peter started laughing again. ‘What have you done?’ Peter’s laughter escalated until it was close to hysteria. ‘Do you really think I’m going to answer that? You’re the detective; that’s your job, you dummy.’ ‘Shit...’ Rafe whispered to himself. Jett slammed the table with his fist and rushed past Rafe. Peter wiped his eyes and sighed. ‘Do you like pumpkins?’