BFFs and Bitches
B
Femme Fatale:
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An Insiders Look into the Devious Ways of the Female by Ashley Spierer
ehind their painted eyes, stomach revealing tees, handbag clutching fingers and smooth legs, there is venom running through every woman’s veins. So when the cliché line of “it’s in their blood” is used to describe the wicked feminine ways, it is no lie. Not only do us females all innately hate one another, we also constantly pretend we don’t, yet gossip our mouths off as each one exits the room. It seems like I am exaggerating, but unfortunately no, I’m not. No matter how close the friendship is, there is or once was an underlying competition that brought these females together. This is what one can call “best friends.” This theory of best friends can be explained as two or more females sufficiently close in status that they declare a truce, become a team, and form a “friendship” so that when they want a guy, they know their “best friend” can’t claim him for herself. Other than the demonic intentions behind our friendships, we girls are put on this earth to be spectacles of sexual desire stripped of personality and creativity. To further
prove this point, consider what happens when a female is discovered, in the male dominant world, as somewhat intellectually interesting: She is transformed from a female
No matter how close the friendship is, there is or once was an underlying competition that brought these females together.
directly into “one of the guys”, or better yet a girlfriend, where she is immediately removed from her feminine role. We base our existence on trying to put others down, and yearn for a sweet, sexy, yet domineering appearance. In Binghamton Review, May 2007
reality, the minimal remnants of good left in our bodies are demolished upon traveling this gold plated path to social success. It is on this path that we females will spend our lives, and on which our ways were crafted long ago. An important aspect of female competition is name calling; this early stage of rivalry gradually turns into the mature dirty look, and later develops into the “shit-talk” we are all so familiar with. Our last utterances eventually come to a halt upon the last beats of our icebox hearts. This may be shocking coming from yes, a female herself, but this is all undeniably true. It is not our fault that the ratio of females to “one-of-theguys females” is so incredibly small that we are all represented by females. So I dedicate this article to you, one-of-theguys females; I know there are plenty of you out there. -Ashley Spierer is a freshman at Binghamton University. If you’re lucky, you might catch her catfighting outside the Wom”y”n’s Center.