CrankIt Mag July 2010

Sam Bush • Keller Williams • Railroad Earth Toubab Krewe • Acoustic Syndicate

Yo Mama’s Big Fat Booty Band • Larry Keel and Natural Bridge Snake Oil Medicine Show • Josh Phillips Folk Festival Holy Ghost Tent Revival • Do it to Julia • Big Daddy Love • The Movement The Native Sway • Naked Gods • Uncle Mountain • Doc Aquatic • Farm Vegas BPL • Mama’s Love • The Moderate • The Mumbles • Tom Tom Roach • Southern Exposure Sign of the Rhino • Guard the Van • Now You See Them

Visit the

Haunted Computer

for a journey into supernatural thrills and psychological twists. Ebooks, comics, paper books, and multimedia entertainment.

Flowers: A collection of fantasy and ghost stories, including the Hubbard Gold Award winner “The Vampire Shortstop.”

Speed Dating with the Dead: A man channels his dead wife at a paranormal conference only to stir up demons.

Ashes: A collection of 16 stories of horror and the supernatural, including “Dog Person,” “Last Writes,” and “Sewing Circle.” Exclusive introduction by Jonathan Maberry.

Drummer Boy: A misfit kid is all that stands between an Appalachian town and its own buried past.

The First: A collection of dark fantasy, cyberpunk, and dystopian science fiction, including the Aeropagan cycle.

Murdermouth: A collection of seven zombie stories, with bonus material from Jack Kilborn and Jonathan Maberry’s “Zombie Apocalypse Survival Scorecard.

The Skull Ring: Julia Stone is targeted by a sinister cult after she discovers a strange silver ring and bones under her house.

The Red Church: A boy and a sheriff must solve the mystery of a haunted Appalachian church when a mysterious preacher returns to town. Stoker Award finalist.

Also: Visit strange lands, spooky houses, future times, and dirty crimes in story collections by author Scott Nicholson.

www.hauntedcomputer.com www.twitter.com/hauntedcomputer

www.crankitmag.com VOL 2: ISSUE1 - 2010

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FEATURES

Wicked Jones 1 2-13 Fans BEWARE

INTERVIEWS

Alexx Calise

6

‘In Avanti’ Rocks the Airwaves

Feeding the Fire 10 Chapel Hill Rockers Hit the Road

Finger of Speech 1 6 Orlando Rockers Test the Waters REVIEWS

CD Reviews

22

Movie Pick

20

Book Review

21

CD releases on page 18 - Reviews - Glyder, etc.

Knight and Day

Drummer Boy EXTRAS

Short Story

8-9

Music News

18

How to Build Your Own Coffin

Gollum news

Bonnaroo No. 9 19 Another Great Year for Roo Fans

Joke Time • MT Focus • July 2010

15

FEATURE BAND

12-13 www.crankitmag.com

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From the Editor CRAZY MONKEY

“The most important part of the song is the guitar solo. Everybody knows that. Everybody knows THAT!”

w w w. c r a n k i t m a g . c o m

STAFF BOX Publisher/Editor: Robert Moore management@crankitmag.com

Art Director/Manager: Rob Moore

Contributing Writers:

TJ Royal, Rob Moore, Sam Brown,

Digger, The Golden Orca, Crazy Monkey and Digger

- Synyster Gates

Hello CrankIts, This is a virtual magazine this time because the economy has taken a bite out of the small business people–us. CrankIt is still holding on to hope, not Obama’s Hope, that this recession will lift and business will thrive. Anyway, this is the first edition since early in the year we have been able to put together and we hope it won’t be the last.

With your help we can continue to support the bands and fans who make the music what it is – entertaining. Send us your ideas and any new band you think is worthy of being online. We will also continue to dig to get our music information out to you.

Thanks!

Robert Moore, Editor management@crankitmag.com

Photographers

Bonnaroo will provide you with shots like this every time you visit. Who would pass this up? Not me!

Glad I could get them all in the picture–including the Harley Davidson. Photo by Rob Moore

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Cover Image by: Rob Moore Copyright© 2010 by CrankIt Entertainment Any reproduction of news articles, photography or advertising artwork is strictly prohibited without permission from management. Issue is FREE. Most design and writing is on a freelance basis.

July 2010 • MT Focus •

INTERVIEWAlexx Calise with

by Crazy Monkey

T

CM: Are you a total LA native?

Calise: No, I’m actually from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida originally. I came out to LA in 2006 just to work on a few tracks toward my first record with my current producer, Luigie Gonzalez, and it became my permanent residence in 2007. LA and I have had a definite love-hate relationship, but I know now that moving out here was probably the best thing I could have ever done for myself (and my career).

CM: What was the deciding “life experience” that influenced you and started you on the path of music?

Calise: Well, originally I thought I was going to be a writer. Writing has always been my first love. When I picked up the guitar at 11 (at first just to accompany my poetry), I had no idea what I was in for. I completely fell in love with the instrument, and I haven’t been able to put it down since.

There wasn’t a particular life experience that put me on this path necessarily. I think music just chose me. Sometimes, I wish it hadn’t because I wouldn’t be struggling near-

• MT Focus • July 2010

‘In Avanti’ Rocks the Airwaves

Image provided

here are not many female musicians in the rock world, like there was in the 80’s and maybe the 90’s, but when they do surface they are usually very good.

This musician is no exception. Florida born musician Alexx Calise has come to play, and she’s a diamond in the rough. With influences from her father, who was a musician, she combined the guitar playing with exceptional song writing skills, and at age 14, decided to pursue her professional career in music.

Her career finally had to move forward if she was to gain any ground so she moved to Los Angeles, California in 2006 to continue that path with producer Luigie Gonzalez.

In 2007 she became a permanent resident and pumped out ‘Morning Pill,’ her first album, with Gonzalez and the start for a bigger album was also soon in play. She also marketed herself so well that she is endorsed by several clothing lines, showed up in several commercials and even had her song “Morning Pill” appear on a promo of One Tree Hill on the CW network.

It would be three years later when she put all the pieces together and releases her second solo album, ‘In Avanti’ on April 10, 2010 and it is a product of a lot of hard work and patience.

“I think ‘In Avanti’ is a more definitive representation of who I am as a person and an artist, and the sound is much more cohesive,” says Calise. “My fans have really seemed to latch on to this particular record even more so than the last because the songs and sound are undeniable.” Undeniable is the perfect word to use for ‘In Avanti.’

Calise will also be working another sound project called Sound of Cancer in the upcoming months and she will be on the road to promote the new album. CrankIt Online was given the opportunity to see what makes this rocker who she is and we are glad to pass it on to old fans and new fans.

ly as much as I do sometimes, but then I snap out of it and remember how much it has saved my life.

CM: Who taught you to sing and who taught you the guitar?

Calise: I’ve had a few voice lessons here and there, but I’m pretty much self-taught. I learned the guitar from someone named Daryl Walker at the Music Room in Oakland Park, FL (which is no longer in existence, sadly).

However, I never really took theory seriously (perhaps I should have). I learned just enough to get by during my lessons, and the rest I learned on my own and by listening to Stevie Ray Vaughan, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, and Daniel Johns of Silverchair. That’s where I truly developed my chops.

CM: Speaking of guitars, what’s your favorite brand? Gibson, Taylor, etc.

Calise: Well, I’ve always been a Fender kind of girl. I’ve tried just about every brand of guitar, but I’ve found that nothing plays quite like a Fender. I’ve had the same Strat since I was 14 years old.

Over the years though, I’ve really grown to love Gibson Les Pauls as well. I picked up a white one last year, and I’ve had trouble putting it back down. The sustain is incredible, and it has such a chunky sound.

CM: Did family play any part in you developing in music or was it something you knew you wanted to do and be great at someday?

Calise: My father was the one who inspired me to pick up the guitar. He would always play for my brother and I when we were little kids, and I wanted to be just like him when I grew up.

I come from a pretty musical family too, so it’s not entirely surprising that I caught the bug too. For example, my great grandfather played a multitude of instruments (thirteen I believe) and one of my aunts was a classically trained violinist.

CM: Would you say you have met at least one goal in your musical career? What are some others?

Calise: Yes, actually I’ve met many of them. But, I’m never satisfied. I still have miles to go. I’d really like to tour more extensively and on a much larger scale, I’d like to start a digital label, and I’d really love to win a Grammy one of these days, ha ha! That would be pretty wild.

CM: ‘Morning Pill’ was great but ‘In Avanti’ takes the cake. What has your fan base said about the new release?

Calise: Why thank you! I wholeheartedly agree. While ‘Morning Pill’ is a really good, solid rock record (and it’s still very dear to my heart), I think “In Avanti” is a more definitive representation of who I am as a person and an artist, and the sound is much more cohesive.

Continued On Page 7

Alexx Calise Continued From Page 6

My fans have really seemed to latch on to this particular record even more so than the last because the songs and sound are undeniable (I hope I don’t sound like I’m tooting my own horn, I’m just a proud Momma, ha ha!). I think that whether or not you enjoy the style of music I perform, you can still appreciate the record in terms of its musicianship, sonic quality and song-writing.

CM: You have some strong lyrics. Do you have a message to tell in each song? Some examples: “Good Enough” and “Out of Sight.”

Calise: Yes, most definitely. I never write for the sake of writing. All the songs have their own little story to tell.

For example, “Good Enough” is about a rather toxic relationship I had with someone in the past. I was desperately seeking approval from them, but it seemed that no matter what I did, I was never “good enough” in their eyes. All I have to say to that though is, thanks for the inspiration.

“Out of Sight’s” message may actually surprise some.

It could easily be interpreted as a love song, but it’s actually a song about god (or whatever incarnation of that you want to call it). I wrote that song when I was at one of the lowest moments in my life. I remember feeling all alone, like I didn’t have anyone to turn to, and all of a sudden, this feeling of calm came over me, and that’s when I knew someone or something was telling me that everything was going to be alright. It was extremely bizarre and amazing.

“Anything Goes” is perhaps one of my favorites lyrically because of the social commentary. Essentially, it’s a song about the “me” generation. A good number of people my age have unrealistic expectations, a certain sense of entitlement, and are unfeeling or apathetic when it comes to their future, politics, social issues, and just about everything they shouldn’t be unfeeling or apathetic about. Ironically though, the song has a very “party hearty”, four-on-the-floor kind of vibe.

CM: You have picture presence for sure. What is your stage presence like? Do you feed off of the crowd?

Calise: Well, now you’re going to make me blush, ha ha!

My stage presence is a whole different animal. When I’m on stage, I completely transform from the shy, introverted person that I usually am into a crazy, boisterous beast! That’s the only time I really feel alive. Sometimes, I wish that I could apply that to everyday life, but I’d probably just succeed in scaring the crap out of everyone.

CM: What makes Alexx Calise so different from other women rockers both past and present?

Well, I don’t think I’m reinventing the wheel or anything per se, but I do think I’m bringing something a little different to the table in terms of sound. My music isn’t 100 percent pop, but it has definite pop sensibility. Alternatively, it isn’t 100 percent rock either. We’re using a lot of electronica elements (like synths and loops) as well.

I think I’ve found a happy medium with ‘In Avanti,’ because while I’m a rocker at heart, I’m a sucker for pop hooks and melodies.

CM: ‘In Avanti’ gives you a variety of different moods. Is it hard to switch from your fast-paced,

in your face rock mode to the much slower, and sexier, songs?

Calise: Not really. When I’m performing live, I try and make sure that my set ebbs and flows. I usually start with the heavier songs, then I slow it down for a bit, and then I start ramping myself up again for a monstrous ending. It’s all about building tension and creating a mood (and saving your voice!)

CM: What have you learned leading up to this newest album that has made you stronger?

Calise: Well, I’ve learned a whole, whole lot. It’s been 3 years since the release of my debut album, so I’ve definitely experienced more life. Moving from my hometown of Ft. Lauderdale to LA in 2007 was probably one of the toughest decisions I’ve ever made (I lived in FL most of my life, and I’d never been completely out on my own), so that provided me with all kinds of song inspiration to say the very least, ha

“

Calise: It’s hard to say. I guess it really just depends on the medium. For example, I think songs like “Good Enough” and “Break Me” are perfect for rock radio, sporting events, and video game soundtracks, and “Anything Goes,” “See You Again,” “Out of Sight” and “Cry” are well suited for coming of age TV shows and movies.

However, I think “Out of Sight” in particular is a special kind of song, and I’m interested to see what will happen with it. It really resonates with most everyone who ever hears it, myself included. When my producer first played the opening chords for me on piano, I knew that I had to create some amazing lyrics to accompany that song. Otherwise, it would have been sacrilege. It was just that beautiful.

CM: Tour planned? Festival play?

Calise: I’m working out the logistics of a tour now. It would be great to head out east again this summer. We had a lot of fun last time we were out there.

I’ll be doing a slew of shows in the upcoming months

I think “In Avanti” is a more definitive representation of who I am as a person and an artist, and the sound is much more cohesive.

”

ha! It has been a positive thing though, because I’ve developed a much thicker skin (as I’m sure you’ve heard, there is a lot of competition and rejection associated with the entertainment business), I’m much more independent, and I’ve come into my own (or at least I feel like I have).

CM: What band would you love to travel with and why?

Calise: I would absolutely love to tour with Silverchair.

They’ve been my favorite band since the sixth grade. They were (wrongfully) branded Nirvana copies and Pearl Jam wannabes early on in their career, but I stuck by them and continued listening, because I could see they had loads of potential. I mean, come on, their first album came out when they were only 14! That has to be worth something.

Five albums later, Silverchair are creating some of the most well crafted music I’ve ever heard, and working with the likes of Van Dyke Parks (renowned music arranger) and Paul Mac (fantastic electronica producer). Their song-writing (especially from “Neon Ballroom” on) is spectacular, they put on an amazing live show, and they are all incredible musicians. I would love to travel with them just so I could watch them (in awe) every night.

out here in So Cal for sure, so if anyone reading this is from the West Coast, come out and see the show!

CM: Parting comments.

Calise: Yes! Head over to alexxcalise.com and pick up my new album, ‘In Avanti!’ And, I love you man!

Well, we love ya too. Her music is great and check her out online at www.alexxcalise.com and www.myspace.com/ alexxcalise. We think you will love the music so well it will burn up the CD player you are using–well, at least make it smoke. c M

CM: I recently read that one of my favorite bands Saving Abel played a USO Tour concert aboard the USS Cal Vinson. If given the chance to play a tour like that would you?

Calise: It would be a great honor to play for the troops. Actually, I was just approved to do an Armed Forces tour not too long ago, so let’s see what happens.

CM: Which songs off the new album do you think will get serious play time?

July 2010 • MT Focus •

How To Build Your

Own Coffin

by Scott Nicholson

B

lood and nails, that’s all you need.

Larry ran his hand over the wood.

Smooth as a baby’s ass and a mother’s tit. He’d planed the cherry himself, by hand, not with one of those machines.

Sure, he’d caught a few splinters, but that was the blood part of this business.

And what were a few calluses? Skin turned to dust just as surely as brain and bone did. And your heart probably crumbled faster than any of it. The meat didn’t matter. What mattered was how you walked off the stage.

That’s what they remembered. And Larry McMasters was going to go out in style.

He dipped his brush into the shellac and lifted it to the lamplight. The thick, golden material hung from the brush like honey. If he sealed the wood, it would keep underground for a few months longer, maybe even a year.

Would that be honest, though? Wouldn’t that be putting just another layer between him and his return to the dirt?

Larry wiped the brush clean on the edge of the bucket and set it to soak in turpentine.

Best to go with plain, bare wood. Like what surrounded him here in the barn. The barn itself was like a coffin, except it was filled to busting with life, chickens and pigs and old Zaint the horse. Zaint was so far faded he was about half glue, but he kept heading to the pasture of a morning and turning up again every night.

Larry’s pastures had seen more drought than plenty. His days in the world hadn’t added up to much. Fourteen years loading produce on trucks paid him with a bad back and a smoking habit. Oh, he’d had about eighteen good years before that, when his parents were still around to pay the bills, but those were so long ago and far away that they might as well have been in a book, or somebody else’s memory.

Once in a while over the years, he’d had stretches where getting out of bed wasn’t such a lost cause. This last year had shown some promise, which made it the cruelest and slowest of them all. And the blame belonged squarely on Betty Ann Armfield. Betty Ann. Betty Ann. Larry gritted his teeth and laid the crown molding along the edge of the coffin to test for length. When you mitered the joints, you had to allow for that little bit of extra distance.

There would be no putty or wood filler used on this job. No crack could be wider than a spider’s leg. Larry’s coffin had to be as airtight as possible so the rotting would be proper, from the inside out.

The phone rang in the house. That would be her.

Larry slammed his hammer against the work bench, causing his tools to jump and raising a ruckus among the hens. He looked at the angled box before him, six sides, planks straight, the knots aligned in something approaching art. Not that Larry had much use for art, besides the art of dying. But you did things right while you were on this earth, and let things take care of themselves after you were under it.

The phone bleated again, as insistent as a pregnant ewe. Larry wiped the hammer handle and hung the tool from its pegs. The handsaw gave a dull grin, hungry for another meal of hardwood. Or maybe that was only his blurred reflection. He’d have to polish the saw later. But right now he had to answer the phone.

He stepped out of the barn into sunshine and tasted the mountain air. Rocks, water, grass, and trees, he had plenty of those. He owned seven acres of dirt, some bottom land and a ridgeline. He couldn’t own any woman, though, and he couldn’t make any of them love his land.

The walk to the house took thirteen seconds, another seven to get through the kitchen, and two more to get the phone to his ear. Betty Ann knew the distance, probably had an egg timer running at her end, and if Larry was ever more than five seconds lateó “Hello?”

Usually he just said, “Hello, Betty Ann,” but once in a while he got a call from work and those damned telemarketers had been trying to give him credit cards lately. He didn’t believe in borrowing. You pay as you go, and when you had a chance, you paid a little bit ahead.

“Larry.”

“Hey, Betty Ann.” “Where you been?”

“Working in the barn.”

“You and your damned wood. You ready?”

“We ought not talk about this kind of thing on the phone.”

Her laughter sounded electronic, as if she were one of those pull-string dolls. “You’ve always been paranoid, ain’t you, Larry?”

“Just cautious, is all.”

“Cautious, my ass. Chickenshit, you mean. If it wasn’t for me, you think you’d ever have a woman? Think anybody else could stand you? Any other woman let you play smoochie and run your hand down her skirt andó” “That’s not proper talk for a lady.”

“I ain’t a lady no more.

Not after tonight.”

Larry looked out the window, at the long dirt drive that led to the highway. “You sure you want to go through with

this?”

“You ainít thinking of backing out on me now, are you? You better grow some balls and fast.”

Larry expected the blue lights to come down the drive any minute, because cops could probably read minds. And if not, they knew how to tap into phone lines, and Betty Ann never could keep her damned mouth shut.

“IóI’m with you, honey. I promised, didn’t I?” “A promise from a man. Hah, that’s worth about as much as an egg from a mule. You only promised because I was giving you my yummy sweet sugar at the time. Remember?”

Larry clenched his hand around the phone. He nearly flung it at the Franklin stove, but the Franklin had been in the family for four generations. Maybe he’d start a fire with his coffin scraps and melt down the phone later.

“Of course I remember, darling.”

“And after, that part about snuggling in the dark. Bet you never heard pillow talk like that before.”

He had to admit he hadn’t. But he didn’t want to admit it out loud. Not when they might

hear. It was bad enough, him knowing. And Betty Ann knowing. And whoever Betty Ann blabbed to, at the hairdresser’s or the Baptist Church or the Stateline Tavern.

“You know that kind of thing gets me all worked up,” Larry said. “That’s stuff’s for in the dark, not out here in the daylight where God and everybody can see.”

Betty Ann laughed. “You must have forgot about that time in the hayloft.”

“Don’t do this, Betty Ann. It’s hard enough as it is.”

“You know all about hard, don’t you?”

Larry looked out the window at the far slopes of granite, the worn edges of the Blue Ridge. When you got mad, you just had to look way off in the distance, his Daddy always said.

Daddy wasn’t born a fool, just ended up that way. “That’s enough of that. I made a promise, and I’ll keep it. Are you going to keep yours?”

“But you ain’t said what you wanted yet.”

She lowered her voice into the husky whisper that sounded like the result of a lot of practice.

“But I got a good idea.”

“I’ll pick you up at seven. Like we planned.”

“Like we planned.”

“Bye, now.”

“Bye. I love you.”

The click of the phone rattled around inside his skull, bouncing against that word “love.” He’d heard that word a time or two before. And then push always comes to shove, and you find out it doesn’t mean a thing. It’s just a word.

He went back to the barn. He spread the velvet lining in the coffin and stapled it into place. Most people went with black velvet, but Larry believed in Royal blue. There was something churchy and sacred about it. When you went under the dirt, you wanted all the comfort you could get.

Glue had leaked from one of the corners where the angled wood met. Larry took a chisel from the workbench and scraped the clot free. He felt along the joint. Not a stray splinter, tight as a mouse’s ear. He was getting better with practice.

He finished up just as the sun set on the hills. He tested the fit of the lid one last time.

The lid wasn’t so heavy, and he’d drilled holes where the nails would go. This would work just fine.

At least, the part you could count on.

Wood was straight up and honest, you could shape it and trim it and make something that would last. You could build your own coffin with no problem. But you had to have somebody to drive the nails, because you damned sure couldn’t do it from the inside.

Continued On Page 9

• MT Focus • July 2010

Coffin Continued From Page 8 He set the lid aside, wiped his tools, and saw that everything was laid out on the workbench. He blew out the lamp and hung it by the barn door. It was time to pick up Betty Ann. Larry sat in his Ford and looked around the trailer park. Betty Ann could do better than this place. She was plenty dumb enough to marry some farmer and have a bunch of kids.

You got married to the dirt up here, one way or the other. Some put it off for as long as possible, but the mountains always took you anyway.

He blew the horn. Betty Ann wanted him to be right on the button, but she didn’t mind a bit to keep him waiting. Finally, the trailer door opened and she waved.

Larry swallowed hard. She was wearing the red dress. Not a good choice for what they were about to do, because it made her easy to remember. Larry remembered just fine. Maybe a little too fine, because his pulse was running hard, and he needed to be calm for what they were about to do.

She slid into the truck beside him and squeezed his leg. “Ready for anything?”

He pushed her hand away. “I keep my promises.”

“So that’s how you’re going to be about it.”

“The things I do for you.”

“Don’t forget the things I do for you.”

Larry wanted real bad to lean over and kiss her. She was the prettiest of them all. But she said “love” too easy and often. She looked like the lying kind.

They’d find out about all that later, whether this was for real or not. He had a promise to keep, and so did she. He started the Ford and headed toward Tennessee.

They drove fifty miles, running past the dark quiet of Watauga Lake, winding through Shady Valley where the cows outnumbered the people, and then followed a gravel road along the river.

“You scared?” Betty Ann said. She’d been quiet for the last half-hour, a long stretch for her. She must have been thinking.

Larry had been thinking, too. “Not about this. I’m scared about the rest of it. About later.”

“I’ll take care of you.” Her hand was on his leg again. This time, Larry didn’t push it away. He stared ahead where the black road met the headlights.

“I know. Because you promised.”

Betty Ann murmured happily beside him. She’d probably been looking for a dream man all her life. And that was what she found.

A dream man.

He said, “Other women made promises.

Some got broken.”

“Larry, you ought to know by now that I ain’t like other women.” She leaned over and her breath was on his neck, and then, brief as a hummingbird, her tongue flicked across his skin.

“You’d best quit that so I can drive.”

They were under the lights now, on the four-lane. Cars skimmed by in the night. Larry wondered where the cars were headed. He was willing to bet that everybody else in the world planned on sleeping in a normal bed tonight,

that they didn’t have the kind of dreams Larry had.

“Here it is,” Betty Ann said.

The gas station had four pumps, and Larry was relieved they didn’t take credit cards.

An electric Marlboro sign flickered in the window. The man behind the counter was hidden by a row of fan belts. “You sure this is it?”

“Trucker told me about it. The owner’s weird, he don’t believe in banks. Thinks they’re all run by thieving Jews.”

One truck was parked behind the store, a slow hunk of steel that had four wheels on the back axle. It was a Chevy. No need to worry about getting chased down.

Larry parked by the door and left the engine running. If he had any sense, he ought to push Betty Ann out and let her thumb and screw her way back to North Carolina. But he didn’t have a lick of sense, not where she was concerned. Plus, he’d made a promise.

He took the gun from the glove box. It was Daddy’s, a .32 revolver that didn’t have much knock-down but was big enough to move money. He tucked the gun under his arm and opened the door.

Betty Ann leaned over and kissed him before he got out. “For luck,” she said.

The kiss tasted of sawdust.

The lights were dim, probably because the cheapskate owner tried to save on the power bills. The beer cooler in back looked tempting, but Larry had a long drive home. Rounded mirrors hung in the corners of the ceiling, but there were no video cameras. He went up to the counter and chose a can of snuff, the real kind, not that sissy, grainy stuff in the plastic cans.

He laid the snuff on the counter and met the man’s eyes.

“That all?” The man looked to be a hundred-and-fifty, or maybe it was the bad fluorescent lights. He looked mean and cheap.

Larry didn’t dread this anymore. It was just another chore, something you did to get what you wanted. It was like making two pieces of wood fit.

He pulled out the gun, and the rest of it went like they were in a movie, like they both knew what to do and wanted to get it over with.

The old man cleaned out the register, handed over his wallet, and even put the snuff in a bag. Larry backed out, checked for traffic, and tucked the gun under his arm. The old man even waved good-bye.

“Here.” Larry tossed the money and the wallet into Betty Ann’s sweet lap. “Like I promised.”

“I love you,” she said.

Larry glanced into the rear-view mirror.

He wondered what kind of description the old man would give. Should have shot him. But that wasn’t his way. You met the dirt when the time was right. He gunned the truck out of the lot and roared away into the Appalachian night.

They went back to his farm, the way they had planned. Larry had to admit the whole thing had gone smoothly. At least the first part of it, her part. He wondered if his part would be smooth, too.

They stood under the stars. Not a streetlight marred the dark view. This was how a

man was supposed to live. Too bad none of his women wanted to live this way.

“Seven hundred and twelve dollars,” Betty Ann said. “Plus some change.”

“I could get the tractor fixed with that.”

“You and your tractor.”

“All you think about is getting out of here.

You know how many gas stations you’d have to rob to even make it to the Mississippi?”

“It’s a start.”

“No. You’re born to this mountain dirt.

You belong to it.”

“Don’t start getting weird on me again, Larry.”

“You’re the one that keeps talking about love. And promises.”

Betty Ann shut up for the second time that night. Larry would have to remember that for the future. If they had a future.

“I kept my promise, what about yours?” he said.

She came to him and hugged him, pressed those curves against him. The bills in her hand scratched his cheek. Her lips were soft. The red dress was thin.

“Want to go inside?” she whispered.

“The barn.”

“Ooh. The hayloft again.”

Larry took her hand and led her down the path that he knew so well. The barn was still, the animals mostly asleep. Old Zaint had put himself up in the stall, and the chickens had their heads tucked under their wings. Nobody would see.

Except maybe the cops. One day theyíd get around to digging behind the barn. But maybe Larry wouldnít be here when that happened. Betty Ann might be, or might not be, depending.

He lit the lamp and took her to the workbench. The coffin glowed in the lamplight. It was his best ever. He couldn’t keep down the pride that warmed his chest.

“What do you think?” he said.

“Damn, Larry. It’s a . . .”

“What do you think?”

“What’s going on?”

“Your part of the promise. I need to know if I can trust you.”

Betty Ann backed away. She looked scared, but she didn’t let go of the money.

“Do you love me?” Larry said. He picked up the hammer. And the most important part, the nails.

Betty Ann made it to the door, but Larry knew about how they tried to run. The first one had almost made it to the creek. Almost. But Larry had fixed the door after that.

She pressed against the wood, her eyes rolling around, looking for a place to hide.

There was no hiding from promises. Larry approached her, holding out the hammer and nails.

“You promised,” he said.

This time her whisper wasn’t the husky, practiced kind. “Don’t hurt me.”

“I would never hurt you. I love you, remember?”

“What do you want?”

“I did for you, now you do for me.” He pointed to the coffin, hoping she’d be impressed by the craft he’d put into it. “I want you to seal me up.”

She didn’t understand. They never understood. “Bury you? But you ainít dead yet.î “Iím just trying it out beforehand. Dyingís too important a business to put off till the last minute. Need to check for size and comfort, and I can’t do it alone. It takes two.”

“You’re crazy.”

Larry stared at the lamp until his eyes burned. “You love me. At least, that’s what you said. I risk life and jail and reputation for you, and you won’t do one little thing for me.”

He turned away. She was like the others.

You ought to know better than to hope. You ought to know by now that love is just a word, a selfish, lying, hurting word.

Then her hand was on his shoulder.

Something had changed between them. Maybe, seeing that Larry was willing to kill for her if necessary, Betty Ann had found a strange respect. “I always knew you was weird.”

He smiled. Money didn’t matter, not next to the other thing. “It won’t take but a minute. And I ain’t got nobody else. Nobody I can trust, that is.”

He gave her a look like the one from that time in the hayloft, the one she seemed to get all swoony over. “You’ll have to put the lid on.

Do you think you can drive the nails?”

Betty Ann nodded. He kissed her. She took the hammer and nails. He climbed into the coffin and inhaled the cherry. She looked so good in her red dress.

The lid fit perfectly. The first nail was awkward, she missed and busted her thumb.

Her blood was likely soaking into the wood.

He was glad heíd passed on the shellac.

Love was built on blood and nails. You had to have both, or it didn’t mean a thing.

By the third nail, she was in the rhythm, and drove it home with four blows. Sixteen nails total, while Larry’s heart pounded in time to the hammer.

Her voice was muffled, but he could understand her. “Are you all right in there?”

He said nothing. The air was stale. The coffin was the perfect size. He could be buried in this, when the time came. It would be a proud way to meet the dirt.

“Larry?” she hollered.

He waited.

“Can you breathe?”

She wouldn’t hear him if he answered.

“I been thinking,” she said. “If I don’t let you out, I get the money all to myself.”

God damn. She was a keeper. Not like those others, the ones who folded when they hit a knot or caught a splinter. This might be the one he could trust sharing his land with, his life with, his death with. Two holes and two tombstones, side by side, forever.

They could get to that part later. First, he needed to see how good she was with a shovel.

He pulled the hammer and crowbar from the secret fold in the velvet and began loosening the lid from the inside, too excited to concentrate. Hope pulsed through his flesh.

This one might work out. She was the real thing, better than the others. A killer. Tight nails, warm blood, a wooden soul. And cold, cold dirt in her heart.

July 2010 • MT Focus •

and our fan base has been really resilient and always kind. We are pretty different though from any other band locally. There’s kind of a low-fi indy scene in the area. Our want to create these large epic genre defying songs certainly makes us feel a little alien sometimes. But on the positive side because of our “grey area” genre we’re able to play with a large variety of musical styles and for a diverse demographic. We recorded the new album locally at Warrior Sound Studio with Al Jacobs and Mitch Marlow (former guitar player for Filter). We even had the honor of local legends Bobby Britt (fiddle player from Big Fat Gap) and Steve Baker (trumpet player for Bull City Syndicate) join us as guest musicians on the new album.

CM: Do you have a solid following and is it growing?

Feeding The Fire Chapel Hill Rockers Hit the Road

by Rob Moore

T

his four man band from Chapel Hill, NC comes to us with plenty of imagination, unpredictability, sense of adventure and a love for music.

They have been dubed as “prog-rockers” but these guys have plenty of catchy melodies, funky grooves and mix of moods and sounds that are wrapped around a rock roller-coaster ride that tells a story of life.

The band consists of Ken Cannon (vocals and keys), Andrew Hoover (lead guitar), Eric Smith (lead bass) and Keith Cannon (drums and percussion). They are the masterminds around their type of rock and it is really starting to take off.

The crowd becomes the stage during their shows.

This band has one word on their website that sums it up: Excelsior or (Ever upward). – p.kerr.

There’s no doubt that this band will be a favorite around the Carolinas in the near future and CrankIt caught up with these guys before the summer sets in.

CrankIt: Give some band history to the fans. How did you get together?

Who started playing music first? Formal training and that sort of stuff.

ing music since about 1991, starting on guitar and eventually moving over to bass.

Our old guitar player moved away in early 2008 during the writing of a new album which found us looking for someone to fill the spot. Luckily we had been friends with Andrew and already played music on the side with him in our spare time.

Andrew: Feeding The Fire was a chance for me to do something different. When they asked me to join I immediately said yes. We set out to make the new album and things have been great. We’re already writing for the next album and playing those songs live.

CM: Are all of you from the Triangle or a collection of various places?

Keith: Ken and I spent our childhood in Scotland and have since been moving up and down the east coast. We ended up in Chapel Hill at the end of high school.

Eric: I’m from Greenwood, SC but have lived in the Triangle for the past 8 yrs.

Ken: Keith and I were turned on to the idea of playing music by attending punk shows. There is so much energy there. At sixteen, I didn’t have much in the way of a message, but the energy was totally there. The name Feeding the Fire reflects the energy exchange that takes place at a live performance, where an artist and the audience can connect synergistically.

Andrew: I’ve lived most of my life in the Triangle area.

Eric: I met Ken & Keith in Chapel Hill in early 2003. We all worked together and they invited me to come try out as their bass player. Immediately upon jamming with them my style found a comfortable home in our electro post-prog, art-rock song styling’s. I’m self taught and I’ve been play-

Andrew: I started out in the garage.

CM: First place you got together to play. Garage or studio?

Keith: Ken and I started in a basement. When Eric joined we had a practice room in our house.

Ken: Even after taking a break to write and record our new record the Chapel Hill fan base hasn’t let up and the attention from the new album has really helped us out.

Andrew: Radio has been great to us too, especially as we branch out and play new cities.

Eric: I agree, we try really hard to put on a great and memorable performance live and I think that that really comes through to the fans

name of your CD ‘DisInfoNation.” Political or just a message?

Ken: The song Disinfonation, reflects our growing concern in regards to the role mainstream media plays in disseminating false information for the government. It does a very good job of keeping people over stimulated and under informed. The album as a whole does touch on some political issues, although not every song goes there. The album message is more of a challenge to encourage folks to think twice about the stories they are told. There are certain people who would like to see a rise of collectivism in the western world. I try to use songs to promote individualism and critical thinking.

CM: The track “Ms. Brownstone” isn’t Guns n’ Roses for sure but it seems to be a top track and has taken off. What made you decide to do a music video with this one?

Keith: We thought it was the most approachable track off the album. So we released it as a single, along with the title track “DisinfoNation” on a promotional disk. As far as the video, the opportunity to make it presented itself, and it made sense to use the single.

CM: How has the release of ‘DisInfoNation’ helped propel you forward?

Eric: we’ve probably gotten the most positive and immediate feedback with this song live and on the record.

Keith: It’s good to have a product we’re proud of.

The quality of the CD is allowing us to get better shows.

CM: Give a bit of insight into the track “Crash Landing.”

Andrew: Yeah the bookings and promotion have gotten a lot better, it’s motivating to get the positive response and we just try and put that into the live show.

Eric: We had the pleasure of having it mastered by Gene Paul (son of Les Paul), Joel Kerr, & Jamie Polaski of G and J Audio (formerly DB Plus in NY).

Those guys were great and having them say lots of kind things about our recording was extremely motivational considering the amount of experience that they have under their belt.

CM: Sales good for the new release?

Eric: We’ve definitely had a great start. Our CD release was really big here in Chapel Hill. We’re also pushing sales in upstate SC around my hometown. Now we’re beginning to work with a promoter in the UK and pushing into other international markets.

CM: The band has really put together some solid tracks, some marathon tracks but mostly ranging about 4 minutes. Is this by design or do you prefer the ballad type tunes?

CM: Has the local scene been kind or has it been an uphill battle?

Keith: There’s no real plan for song lengths. Just whatever feels right for the song. If we want to write a pop song then it would feel better to keep it short.

Eric: We’ve been in Chapel Hill for a long time now

CM: Explain the concept behind the

Ken: “Crash” is a fun song to play live. Lyrically, it is centered around the powerless feeling you get when you find yourself making the same negative choices. Whenever I find myself feeling overwhelmed, I have to remind myself to just act. Life can be paralyzing at times. You have to think that whatever you are facing, it is going to work out well. Then act.

CM: Are you guys planning on drifting outside of the Triangle in the near future? A tour?

Ken: Here at home we are currently focusing on the South East for our next tour. Meanwhile there is also work being done to establish a UK tour in the not too distant future. Keith and I had the amazing experience of meeting our Dad for the first time, just this year. Turns out he plays in a band as well throughout Scotland.

Andrew: Yeah, hopefully a European tour in the future.

CM: Where can they find your music for sale? and see you online?

Ken: feedingthefire.com is a great place for videos and up to date tour info. Keith and Eric have put together some pretty entertaining videos. Lets just say I wouldn’t want to get in a practical joke war with them. iTunes, Amazon, and Zune, pretty much all the major retailers all have it for download. If you want a physical copy your best bet is to just email us at Contact@feedingthefire.com.

cM

Ken Cannon (vocals and keys), Andrew Hoover (lead guitar), Eric Smith (lead bass) and Keith Cannon (drums and percussion) 10 • MT Focus • July 2010

SECOND CHANCES Continued On Page 14

July 2010 • MT Focus • 11

Elevating to a New Level

by Rob Moore

Photos by Rob Moore

W 12 • MT Focus • July 2010

Gregoria “G” D’Voldre Lead Vocals

Jason Sossomon - Guitar & Vocals

icked Jones, a Charlotte, N.C. band that has developed a reputation for having a deliciously sinful flavor of rock and roll, all wrapped up in plenty of soul. It has been said they intersect where Guns N’ Roses and Al Green meet. Wow, what a contrast and one that people tend to relate to once they get a taste of Wicked Jones. It could be true. These guys cover the whole musical spectrum in their music and each song they play is a treat. A very soulful treat.

The four-piece band consists of Gregoria “G” D’Voldre on lead vocals, Jason Sossoman (guitar, vocals), Jack Kitchen (bass, vocals), and Calvin “Manny” Carter at the drums. They are under management with F.I.X.E.R. Management out of Nashville, TN. So, how’d the band get started? Much like any other band for sure but Charlotte is loaded with music and what a better place to get the ball rolling than in the Queen city.

They started in the fall of 2005 when Jason

Sossoman and Jack Kitchen discovered each other through the Charlotte, N.C. music scene. Once their friendship progressed they started to write music and decided to form a band.

After performing as a power trio rock band for about 2 years the guy’s wanted to expand and bring in a real front man. So, Jason called upon a former bandmate known as “G,” or current member Gregoria “G” D’Voldre, who officially joined the band in the fall of 2007. The trio started writing new, fresh material immediately, with a unique fusion never heard before, and the spark was created to start the creative fire.

Now that the trio has produced some great music something was still missing–a drummer.

Not wanting to feel limited musically the search was on to find the right drummer to help fill their sound. So, “G” made a phone call and in spring of 2008 Calvin “Manny” Carter joined the band, rehearsed for about two months, and they all hit the studio with one takes of “Musical Fire.” The “creative fire” was once again lit and the members of Wicked Jones haven’t look back since.

Calvin “Manny” Carter - Drums Each one brings a vital part to the chemistry of the band so starting with “G” was the logical place to begin in order to learn how they fit into the very “soul” of the band. I asked “G” how he got started and was told he started out in quartet gospel at a very young age with major influences such as Sam Cooke, Al Green, Doc Mckenzie to name a few. That’s quite a change from rock.

“What compelled you to study them?”

“Many times I would just stand on the side of the stage and just study my favorite artists; the words they say, the way they projected and controlled their voice, their body movements, and how they always made eye contact with the audience.” said “G.” Having seen them on stage it is evident that “G” has a ton of soul. He plays the crowd extremely well and has an excellent voice. No doubt that studying his gospel influences have paid off because he has some strong vocals.

“While traveling on the quartet circuit “G” learned how to command a crowd, how to read a crowd, more importantly how to touch people

with his voice alone while entertaining there emotions,” said Jason. “However, it was listening to “War Pigs” by Black Sabbath that open his mind to rock.”

The other members are also in tune to music on a scale other than just the band. Jason teaches at the Paul Green School of Rock and is very deep into theory. He has a strong background in heavy, heavy, rock/metal. His knowledge of scales and skill level on this is very important for the band.

This also applies to Jack.

Calvin “Manny” Carter is definitely a very highly skilled drummer with Jazz, R&B, and Gospel background.

“Being in a band like Wicked Jones you have to be very open minded and willing to try anything musically,” said Calvin. “We’re all individually influence by Jazz, Blues, Gospel, Rock, Metal, Funk, etc.”

Wicked Jones has many influences. Some

Jack Kitchen - Bass & Vocals of those are definitely one’s most everyone can relate to like Led Zeppelin, Prince, Metallica, Clutch, Pantera, Down, Guns N’ Roses, P-Funk, Cameo, and many many more. There’s no shortage for the love of music in these guys and it shows on stage and in their recorded music.

“You can even catch us any day listening to Medeski Martin and Wood or Bob Marley; I mean we really listen to all types of music,” said “G”.

“What was the driving force for creating a band that would survive locally, and nationally?”

I asked.

“For too long many of us in this band felt we were in limited situations in other bands and we really wanted to be in a band without any limits making it all about the “MUSIC,” said Jason.

“So when we hit the stage that’s our lab.”

“We live for the stage and our hunger to be successful at making the most creative music

naturally can not be measured,” said Jack. “We try all of our ideas in this band until we find and feel what’s most effective. ‘If it touches us we know that there’s a chance it may touch somebody else.’”

Their music touched me. Listening to their hits like “Sinister Love,” “Some Highway Head,” and “Supernatural Flesh” will show you what I mean. The pure dynamic sound of Sossomon’s guitar with (or without) the slide, Kitchens crisp, and funky, bass play, Carter’s precision drum play and “G’s” soul-injected vocals make this band unique and one to hear. They will have plenty for their fans in the future but make sure you catch them locally to see for yourself and to become a fan. Their next gig will be in Spartanburg, SC at Ground Zero on September 17, 2010. Tell them CrankIt Mag Online sent you.

If you want to follow them online and become a fan go to: www.wickedjones.com, www. myspace.com/wickedjonesband,twitter.com/ wickedjones, and on Facebook at www.facebook. com/wickedjones?v=app_6917629807.

July 2010 • MT Focus • 13

14 • MT Focus • July 2010

July 2010 • MT Focus • 15

INTERVIEW with

Image provided

“

Yep, since then things have kind of clicked along better than in the past and kind of exceeded expectations in some ways,” said Austin. “New CD and a tighter sound.

”

FINGER SPEECH o f Don’t Let the Finger Fool You

by Rob Moore

F

inger of Speech, well, it is and it isn’t what you think.

No, they aren’t political. Yes, they do have an attitude, only if you provoke them. Just kidding. They are a high energy rock band from the Upstate of South Carolina who has decided to refocus their mission and bring their music back to their fans. They originally formed in 2000 as a break-off of another band and after a couple of years of touring and writing music they just disbanded on good terms.

Luck would have them form up again in 2008 with the same four members and cut a new CD in 2009-10.

“We disbanded on good terms and about a year and

16 • MT Focus • July 2010

a half ago we found ourselves back together,” said Austin.

“Back together under the same name and same four members.”

“That’s more than luck, that’s sounds like solid friendship and loyalty,” I said.

“Yep, since then things have kind of clicked along better than in the past and kind of exceeded expectations in some ways,” said Austin. “New CD and a tighter sound.”

Finger of Speech hails from the Upstate of South Carolina in a well know city named Spartanburg. Close to where the big peach is and Tiger country. They are a high energy rock band with sounds of the old 80’s rock bands and bits of

grunge from early STP and some Soundgarden. They really own their own sound and they have written the tracks on this CD. It has also been a total band effort to ensure the quality is spot-on for the sound and to everyones liking.

“It’s also more of a collective effort instead of randomness,” said Austin. “But it’s not a complete song until we’ve all had a hand in the mix.”

That is evident on this CD and is a tribute to the tightness of the group. The members that make that happen are: Shane Curtis - vocals & guitar, Tim Walters - vocals & bass, Larry Sims - guitar, and Austin Robinette - drums. CrankIt Continued On Page 9

FINGER SPEECH

of Continued From Page 8

Magazine Online had the opportunity to speak with these guys and give the fans some insight into who they are as a band.

CrankIt: How’d you come up with the name Finger of Speech?

Larry: It was the closest thing I could come up with without telling my fans fuck you.

Austin: We actually keep it family friendly. A lot of events that open their doors for us don’t want that put out front and we don’t want to limit ourselves.

Shane: I was actually just sitting around one day and came across a rhythm. I don’t know how I did it and just came along with that little melody and chorus part, which feeds into like a pump rhythm, but it’s not. I started pulling lyrics together, brought it up to the guys, and we just went from there. It was probably the hardest song we had to work on because the song was so fast and high tempo.

show’s growing. We did the Handlebar and it was one of the biggest shows we’ve ever played for a club. Great turn out and the people are being more and more responsive. We just need a chance to get in front of a lot more people and deliver what we’ve got. We’ve played to our fan base over the past two months, and we have a solid base of 100-150 fans, which will follow us.

Austin: That one actually started off with sixteen no-double bass most of the way through the song. We ended up dropping back and it became a different animal. More of a punk sounding song.

CM: Where do you see yourself in a year or five years? Goals?

CM: How about “Suspicion?”

Austin: Honestly, we’re having fun. We work day jobs. We don’t come into this with a lot of expectations and it’s not about the money or glory or else we would have given up years ago. It would be hard to pull us away but at the same time if the Right opportunity presents itself, we would have to give it consideration.

Tim: That’s actually the first song we wrote together as a band back in the day.

Tim: There’s goals to get signed to a major label.

CM: Who are some of your influences? Who do you feed off of or who’s pushed your influences?

CM: What makes playing in front of a crowd worth it now?

Austin: We each come from our own bracket of music. I speak for myself. A lot of KISS early age that led to Godsmack, White Zombie, and bands like that which are probably not as apparent from a drummers perspective.

Austin: There are a lot more teenagers coming out now, which is a great thing. We’ve actually had a battle of the bands recently and a teenage “mosh pit” break out in front of us and it was totally unexpected.

Larry: The bands that make me want to start playing guitar, or got me interested, are Guns-n-Roses, Motley Crue back when I was first getting started.

Shane: When you look out and see 10-15 people singing along with the lyrics of the song. At that point it is worth it.

CM: What’s the coolest thing that’s happened to you since the CD has come out?

Shane: I’m old 80’s myself.

CM: Is this your first full-length CD? Austin: This is our first full-length CD. We spent a lot of time in the studio and had a whole collection of songs, but we never took the time and money to actually put it together to do an official release. We pretty much delivered EP’s and demos locally.

Tim: We wish we could have stayed a lot longer and tried to make it sound even better. It’s OK to me but the bands never got the right sound, and we’re always pushing for the right sound.

Shane: It’s the first time we’ve actually got together as a group and sat down to write songs together. Everything came to one instead of four separate guys writing songs and trying to make magic. This time I think magic happened for us and there’s a future.

CM: I loved three tracks especially. Can you give me insight on the one titled “Free?”

We Want You!

Shane: We’ve met a lot of local celebrities here in town and we’ve never signed autographs before. That’s kind of weird too.

Austin: It’s humbling at the same time.

Austin: It’s some of the ones we kept that we carried over to the CD. CM: One of the first hits?

Tim: More like an Upstate thing.

CM: How’s the fan base been to you in the Upstate?

Austin: It’s really been great. It’s been a lot better and we always want better. Just in the past three months, or two, seems like three because we’ve been playing out every week, to every other week, since we got the ball rolling. A lot has been within a 30 mile radius of Spartanburg. Normally by now things would have been down a little bit but actually every

CM: Last words?

Collective: Thank you to the fans for all the support. Stay tuned we’re just getting started !

Well, these guys are creating a solid fan base so if you get the chance to hear them live make sure you go and support them. If you are already a fan, or want to know more, you can visit them online at www.reverbnation.com/fingerofspeech, www.fingerofspeech.com or www.digstation.com/AlbumDetails.aspx?albumID=ALB000046958. Check out their line of merchandise from four different shirts to the CD, available on iTunes and Amazon, stickers, and small versions of the CD cover for autographs. The CD is available for an economical $7.00. Check them out and tell them you read about them on CrankIt. c M

Bands, Artists, Extreme Sports...

Send Us Your Story or Contact Information July 2010 • MT Focus • 17

CD RELEASES F

July

ireworks have flown and yet there seems to be more to shoot off this month. July is loaded with artists getting their music out and on the air. Our favorites are Korn, M.I.A., Hellyeah, and Avenged Sevenfold. Check them out and as always – CrankIt Up!

July 6 Enrique Iglesias - Euphoria Kylie Minogue - Aphrodite Kylie Minogue - Aphrodite [CD + DVD] Big Boi - Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty Big Boi - Sir Lucious Left Foot:

The Son of Chico Dusty [CD + DVD] Bret Michaels - Custom Built Juvenile - Beast Mode Kelis - Flesh Tone How To Destroy Angels - How To Destroy Angels Ed Kowalczyk - Alive Jimmie Vaughan - Plays Blues, Ballads and Favorites Texas Hippie Coalition - Rollin’ Trailer Choir - Tailgate The Rescues - Let Loose The Horses No Justice - 2nd Avenue The Cat Empire - Cinema Aztec Two-Step - Time It Was:

The Simon and Garfunkel Songbook Walter Trout - Common Ground John Phillips - Many Mamas Many Papas Various Artists - NPR Discovers Songs: Soul Revival The Rolling Stones - Stones Touring Party Fan Pack [Box Set] Cheap Trick - Budokan! [CD/DVD]

July 13 Sting - Symphonicities Korn - Korn III: Remember Who You Are Korn - Korn III: Remember Who You Are [CD + DVD] Danger Mouse & Sparklehorse - Dark Night Of The Soul M.I.A. - Maya [Deluxe] Jane Krakowski - Laziest Girl In The World Hellyeah - Stampede Hellyeah - Stampede [CD + DVD] Newsboys - Born Again Crowded House - Intriguer Crowded House - Intriguer [CD + DVD] Jerrod Niemann - Judge Jerrod And The Hung Jury Paul Wall - Heart Of A Champion Ice Cube - I Am The West Sun Kil Moon - Admiral Fell Promises Great Big Sea - Safe Upon The Shore Jesus Culture - Consumed [CD + DVD] Edenbridge - Solitaire Edenbridge - Solitaire [Limited Edition] Soundtrack - Knight And Day Curren$y - Pilot Talk Eliza Gilkyson, John Gorka & Lucy Kaplansky - Red Horse Zero 7 - Record Joe Elliott - My Regeneration The Ready Set - I’m Alive, I’m Dreaming Soundtrack - Inception Roswell Six - Terra Incognita: A Line In The Sand Soilwork - The Panic Broadcast Soilwork - The Panic Broadcast [CD + DVD] School Of Seven Bells - Disconnect From Desire The Innocence Mission - My Room In The Trees Kim Walker - Here Is My Song Brian Setzer - Don’t Mess With A Big Band

MUSIC NEWS

Tony Lucca - Rendezvous With The Angels Nicolas Matar & Willi Graff - Cielo: Paradizo 2 New Politics - New Politics Tracy Bonham - Masts of Manhatta R.E.M. - Fables of the Reconstruction

25th Anniversary [Box Set] Concrete Blonde Bloodletting 20th Anniversary Edition Johnny Cash - Setlist: The Very Best of Johnny Cash Live

July 20 The Jonas Brothers - Jonas L.A. Jamie Foxx - Body Sheryl Crow - 100 Miles From Memphis Kidz Bop Kids - Kidz Bop 18 Rick Ross - Teflon Don Rick Ross - Teflon Don [Deluxe] 12 Stones - Only Easy Day Was Yesterday [EP] Tokio Hotel - Humanoid City Live [CD + DVD] Paul Hardcastle - Jazzmasters VI Brian Culbertson - XII Gyptian - Hold You Soundtrack - Jersey Shore Asleep At The Wheel and Leon Rausch - It’s A Good Day Danger Mouse and Sparklehorse - Dark Night Of The Soul [Deluxe Box Set] Soundtrack - Iron Man 2 [Score] David Garrett - Rock Symphonies Lillian Axe - Deep Red Shadows Elaine Paige - Elaine Paige Live Above & Beyond - Anjunabeats Volume 8 Frazey Ford - Obadiah Tired Pony - The Place We Ran From Mountain Man - Made The Harbor Jimmy Gnecco - The Heart Chimaira - Coming Alive [Deluxe] Esham - Suspended Animation Acacia Strain - Wormwood Honor Bright - Action! Drama! Suspense!

Black Veil Brides - We Stitch These Wounds Impending Doom - There Will Be Violence Little Fish - Baffled and Beat Francis & The Lights - It’ll Be Better

July 27 Avenged Sevenfold - Nightmare Kimberly Caldwell - Without Regret Fantasia - Back To Me Fat Joe - The Dark Side Dru Hill - Indrupendence Day Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble Couldn’t Stand The Weather Tom Jones - Praise & Blame Krayzie Bone - Lyrical Paraphernalia Incognito - Transatlantic RPM Jorn - Dio Best Coast - Crazy For You The Robert Cray Band - Cookin’ In Mobile Sky Sailing - An Airplane Carried Me To Bed Madlib - Medicine Show No. 7: High Jazz

NORTH CAROLINA METALLERS GOLLUM ADDED TO MAYHEM FESTIVAL LINEUP FOR AUGUST 3 Wilmington, North Carolina metal enigmas GOLLUM were recently added to one of the dates on this year’s edition of the Rockstar Energy Drink Mayhem Festival. The fest runs from July 10 - August 14 and features over a dozen bands including Korn, Lamb Of God, In This Moment, 3 Inches Of Blood, Hatebreed and Shadows Fall.

GOLLUM will perform on the Jagermeister Stage August 3 at the Walnut Creek Amphitheater in Raleigh, North Carolina. This marks the second year in a row the band have been asked to perform the prestigious event.

Commented GOLLUM on their addition: “We are thrilled to be invited back a for the second year in a row! Last year, West Palm Beach, Florida was so surreal and unbelievable! We really look forward to playing on the Jager stage at the Mayhem Festival again this year, this time in front of our home state crowd in Raleigh! Thanks to Jagermeister! We are currently planning a fall tour and are in pre-production for the our next record.”

Prior the GOLLUM’s performance at Mayhem, they will play a string of local shows. Confirmed dates thus far include:

7/09/2010 Rock Shop - Fayetteville, NC 7/10/2010 Reggies - Wilmington, NC 7/23/2010 The Pour House - Raleigh, NC 8/03/2010 Jäger Mobile Stage/Rockstar

Energy Mayhem Festival - Raleigh, NC

GOLLUM are currently touring in support of their critically-acclaimed The Core full-length released via Rotten Records on May 22, 2009.

“The Core is one of the most complex, sonic-scraped albums of the year because you literally have no idea where these guys are coming from, much less where they’re wading towards through their distorted furrows...” -- About.com

www.gollumband.com www.rockstarmayhemfest.com www.myspace.com/gollu

July 2010 • MT Focus • 18

Bonnaroo No.9 Another Great Year for Roo Fans

by Rob Moore

B

onnaroo 9 has come and gone. What an adventure! This year was just as smooth as the other two I visited in 2007 and 2008, and with just as many people. Amazing to say the least. Yes, amazing.

This festival is one of the best because the staff is organized and really plan the event to the maximum. When you have 70,000 plus people packed into 700 acres of farmland, actually called “The Farm,” and the event is a success. You are good. Check it out yourself if you haven’t gone yet but be prepared for some culture shock – or not.

Some say it is good to get to the front of the line. I say it is good to be near the middle. Less of a walk. Although this time I was closer to the tollbooths, in the back, in a section called Camp Zoolander. It was an easy exit and only a half mile from the main entrance. Reguardless, unless you are renting a VIP RV, you will walk and see some crazy, drunk, beautiful, odd and weird people. Hey, that’s America right? Bonnaroo loves all people.

It’s an amazing site to see thousands of colorful tents of different shapes and sizes.

Come prepared if you want to survive! Take heed to the lists provided in order to make it to day four and back on the job on day five.

Take what comfort items you want. Water, food, rain gear, change of clothes, rash ointment, fill-in-the-blank, and money are essential. I am sure I left something off, but you get the point. Oh, one thing I do is use my trusty GPS to mark my location on the first day and put up a marker flag. The college kids use their favorite college to show allegiance, you can use the Carolina Panthers if you want.

Another good practice is to meet the

neighbors and establish that watch. We did and it worked pretty good. Stragglers do come through and you might have to pull out some cool ninja technique to take a thief by surprise.

It rained on Thursday but work kept me away until Friday morning, so I missed that muddy tour. You could see the small water bogs already created from the day before and it was a mess. That much was broadcasted on the internet. Bonnaroo mud can suck a shoe right off your foot and you will never find it.

You might even sink in up to your knees and have several people pull you out.

The roadways, or pre-made paths in the field, into the camping area make you feel like you are walking on an iso mat. Really weird and uneven. Imagine what a drunk person feels like when walking this uneven ground.

Ok, so you are ready for the adventure of heading into the maze of tents and people.

Where do you go? Look for the main Ferris wheel. You can see it from everywhere.

This year I even noticed a Ranger fire tower.

Anyway, that’s the direction to the main entrance. There are also floating, colorful, balls with a number on them to help mark the area you are in. Smart huh? Yep, but the GPS is still a good tool on day one.

Ready, set and go. You walk, and walk, and walk, get distracted by eye candy, and walk, nearly avoid a taxi, and walk, get offered something, and walk, talk to a new friend, and walk, and then make it to the entrance. Drink water and get ready to experience the best show you have ever seen.

I meant to say shows because there are so many and it is impossible to see them all.

Before you go in let me share a couple of crazy stories. My son had the encounter with a cat man in a tree. He heard a meow,

twice, and then he looked up in a tree. There was a guy perched in a tree and meowing to passer-byes and he had glow sticks for whiskers.

Wonder what he was tripping on?

One other crazy observation was an old man in a white thong running down the middle of the road while being chased by the mounted police of Bonnaroo. Did he think he could out run a horse?

Last, the girl who shot out of the tent half naked with a smile. That was a pleasant surprise at 5:30 in the morning. Just look, smile and say to yourself–that was a nice view.

Going in you get searched. Beware of wandering fingers, and if you have anything, like beer or liqueur, kiss it goodbye. You can get a five dollar beer when you get in if your bank account can handle it.

Where do you go? Who the hell knows!

Better have that map handy so you can find the What Stage, Which Stage, That Tent, This Tent, The Other Tent, etc. The good thing is they are sort of close together with the exception of the main stage–What Stage.

All the vendors are in the middle for easy shopping. There’s even the famous water mushroom that sprays recycled water out to cool you off. Beware though, there have been accounts of naked people wandering in to get the complete wash off.

The Tennessee sun will bake you and everyone will try heading for the tree with the shade. It is fun to see the people travel with the shade as the sun makes its journey through the sky. It is still hot, more like sweltering, and hydration is critical. Beer drinkers will feel the effect quite fast if not careful.

This festival had a great line-up. I selected the ones I wanted to see and my friend

Michael Franti

Imelda May

Eddie had his selections. Here’s who we saw at Bonnaroo: The National - What a performance by the Brooklyn based band. Matt Berninger and his baritone voice really pulled the crowd in. They were called back for an encore!

Michael Franti & Spearhead - He came to play this year; too bad that he was rellocated to the Which Stage again. This was the best performance of the festival and worthy of a Main Stage visit. I found myself, along with thousands of fans, jumping up and down and singing along. It was energetic and the best. Ola, ola, bonjour, bonjour, konitchiwa...

Kings of Leon - What a show. Caleb Followill was spot on and the band was sharp. These guys, who hail from Nashville, really played an A-game performance on Friday night. FUSE TV was also filming it for an August 1 showing.

The Flaming Lips - They were as interesting as ever but played a cool version of Dark Side of the Moon with Stardeath and White Dwarfs.

The Black Keys - These guys just keep getting better. They rocked the crowd well into Saturday morning.

Dead Weather - Alison Mosshart (of the Kills and Discount) was a dynamic singer. She blew the crowd away with her stage presence.

Bad ass for sure. One note: Dead Weather

Continued On Page 13

July 2010 • MT Focus • 19

Cruise-Diaz chemistry saves formulaic Knight Sherlock Holmes - 6 Cranks out of 10 Starring: Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, Maggie Grace, Marc Blucas, Paul Dano Directed by: James Mangold

6

Cranks!

Tom Cruise hasn’t come a long way from leaping maniacally on Oprah Winfrey’s couch.

In the new action-comedy, Knight and Day, he’s leaping maniacally on Cameron Diaz’s car, along with just about everything else, in what boils down to 110-minute series of over-the-top action sequences that fits the mold of your formulaic summer blockbuster.

But let’s give credit where it’s due. Knight and Day is surprisingly likeable, due mostly to the chemistry between its two leads. Cruise (Mission: Impossible) and Diaz (There’s Something About Mary) make a fun duo, their amusing exchanges and rapid-fire dialogue easily the film’s most enjoyable aspects.

Director James Mangold (3:10 to Yuma) seems to be aiming for James Cameron’s True Lies dynamic, one that masterfully balances hilarity with suspense.

In this case, Knight is somewhat lopsided, favoring straight-up action over character development, which would vest viewers in said action and make the jokes all the funnier.

Instead, practically every character-driven scene serves as a simple link between vehicular chases.

The balance is off, but Knight and Day can’t be faulted for pace. Once it starts, it never slows down.

Cruise stars as Roy Miller, a dangerously (but hilariously) impulsive CIA agent, who may or may not have gone rogue. He’s attempting to keep some sort of super battery out of the wrong hands, and, in the process, accidentally brings hapless traveler June Havens (Diaz) into the fray.

Before she knows it, June’s swept away into the world of espionage, dodging bullets, evading government agents, and trying like hell to distance herself from Roy and regain a sense of normalcy. Each time she thinks she’s escaped, Roy literally comes crashing in.

Drawn to Roy’s charms and increasingly thrilled with this newfound world of adventure and intrigue, June determines to help Roy on his quest, for better or worse.

For better, it takes them to all corners of the globe, from Boston to the Azores to Spain.

For worse, they’re doggedly pursued by secret operatives and a crime syndicate the entire way.

As far as action movies go, Knight is straight-up formula, from its stereotypical antagonist (Peter Sarsgaard, An Education) to the nerdy scientist (Paul Dano, There Will Be Blood) to every predictable twist and turn - and there are many.

Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise in 20th Century But they’re not so much twists and turns as they are “curve ahead” signs. You know Fox’s Knight and Day - 2010. Photo by Frank something’s going to explode, just not the manner in which it will do so. And in terms of Masi/20th Century Fox formula, this works somewhat to Knight’s advantage.

Unfortunately, it can’t help Mangold and actor-turned-writer Patrick O’Neill from writing themselves into a corner. When the going gets a little too tough for Roy and June, Mangold exercises a plot device that, while amusing at first, seems increasingly lazy with each go around, as it magically whisks our protagonists out of harm’s way.

But the action is mostly enjoyable, if not a little too reliant on computer-generated imagery, which still can’t shine a light on actual pyrotechnics and stunt work. The difference is night and day.

But Cruise and Diaz save the day, and not just narratively speaking. As Miller, Cruise is a solid fit, bringing that self-assured, seemingly invincible swagger he flaunted in the ‘80s (coupled with that post-Oprah loony-ness) to a consistently cool action hero who’s obviously a couple rounds short of an ammo clip.

And Diaz is delightful as June, offering more than just a pretty face in a cat-suit, ala Charlie’s Angels. While her role is mainly reactive, Diaz’s expressions and comic timing make her otherwise run-of-the-mill character something more memorable - and that’s saying a lot for a summer blockbuster.

Knight and Day, rated PG-13 for sequences of action violence throughout, and brief strong language, is playing now.

Review by Frank Ruggiero of The Mountain Times Newspaper Want to comment on a review or make a request? Contact management@gmail.com.

20 • MT Focus • July 2010

BOOK REVIEW T

BEAT of a DIFFERENT DRUMMER

ake a local legend, a misfit childhood, and a Civil War re-enactment, add water, and you get my new novel Drummer Boy. The idea for the novel had been germinating for some time, originally called “The Jangling Hole” after a legend here in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina. Because the peaks were so rugged and remote, deserters from both sides of the Civil War often hid out in the caves. Since they had no dog in the fight, they often camped together, being careful not to have campfires or otherwise give away their position.

According to legend, you can still hear the jangle or clink of their tools and mess kits inside the caves, often with a spooky echo. Ghosts are more fun when kids are involved, so I created a group of three friends who investigate the legend. The boys are loosely based on my own childhood, at least as far as the alienation and the sense of being an outsider. One of the boys is grappling with the idea of being gay, which adds its own special torments. His one dream is to be a drummer boy in his father’s Civil War re-enactment troop, but the father is distant and suspicious.

I served in a Civil War re-enactment a few years ago, so I brought that element of living history to the novel, though it’s very much a contemporary tale of the supernatural. The one thing about real “make-believe” war is that it’s loud and dangerous, with large horses, intense

Bonnaroo No.9 Continued From Page 11

was just

about to hit the stage at Bonnaroo hard when the rain started to pelt the crowd. Not a huge rain but one to cool them off a bit from the heat. That didn’t stop the fans from seeing Jack White. His now famous comment is all over the internet. “Just remember which band brought the rain today,” said Dead Weather drummer Jack White. Yep, I was there and they began to jam and blow the rain out of Manchester. So much for cooling off the crowd!

Imelda May - This Irish Rockabilly/Jazz singer has a set of lungs. She was on the small Sonic Stage and put on an exceptional show. She played the crowd so well that by the end of her set there was a huge crowd wanting more. I was one of them.

Clutch - Veteran rockers playing a special acoustic unplugged set before their main show later in the night. What a treat that was for the fans.

Jeff Beck - He can still play a mean guitar. So solid he was that “Under the Rainbow” was so sweet. He even did some songs with Imelda May

action, and a very loose script that creates a lot of improvisation. I wanted to combine that sense of make-believe with the actual legends and create a milieu in which the young boys try to fit in.

But the drummer boy discovers that he belongs in neither the world of the living nor the dead, but he is all that stands between the town and the ghostly Civil War troop.

I’ve often used local Appalachian legends in my novels, and I try to write a couple of pages a day. I don’t outline, so each trip tp the keyboard is an adventure. I think if I knew the ending before I started, I’d be too bored to finish.

Drummer Boy offered me a wonderful journey, tying together legends I’d already researched, actual historical events, a character I’d used before, a reporter based on my experiences in journalism, and memories of my own childhood as spread out among the three young characters. We’re all misfit kids. Some of us are just a little older than others.

Scott Nicholson is the author of nine novels, including The Skull Ring, The Red Church, and They Hunger. He’s also written three story collections, six movie scripts, several children’s books, a number of songs and poems. He’s a freelance editor and also writes comic books.

Signed copies and ebooks of Drummer Boy and other works are available through his Web site www.hauntedcomputer.com, as well as Amazon.com and Smashwords.com. (left) Clutch and Inset image is Kings of Leon.

that were off the chart.

There you have it. I am not taking a thing away from the other bands. They are all good or Bonnaroo wouldn’t have chosen them to play their top 10 festival. These are just my choice and who really caught my ear this year.

There were a lot more things to do in Centeroo. Harley Davidson was there for you to see the new line-up and test ride a Harley. Canon had a tent set up to check out their products and get a picture made. Ford was showcasing their new vehicles. Plenty of vendors selling everything from jewelry to rope sandals.

There was even a beach volleyball and slip-n-slide area. You name it, it was probably there.

Finally, you have to leave.

Pack it up tight or just throw it in the vehicle.

Who gives a shit, let’s go. A hot shower is at the end of the journey and then you can look forward to going next year. Next year, yes, that will be a huge one because it is their 10th anniversary.

Wonder what the lineup will be? Hmmmm. Already making plans? See you there. c M

Photos by Rob Moore

July 2010 • MT Focus • 21

CD Reviews Silver Travis

Take The High Road I have said it before and I will say it again, the Upstate of South Carolina, Spartanburg to be exact, has some great music coming from that area of the state. Silver Travis is just another example of a solid band with the support of their fans. This time they have produced a CD called “Take the High Road.”

Now, all of you Marshall Tucker Fans, me included, should be jumping for joy that this band has taken on the sound of that legendary band. You can definitely hear the influences, and Silver Travis has been honing the sound since they reunited in 2005, but they have their own sound. Well, it has worked and these guys are real smooth. I mean real smooth.

It is a known fact that they have worked with bands like .38 Special, George Hatcher Band, and have jammed with friends like Artimus Pyle (Lynyrd Skynyrd) and of course The Marshall Tucker Band.

In 2009 the band released their second album ‘Take The High Road.’

They have the help of John Gillie (guitar and song writing), Tim Lawter and Rusty Miller (Marshall Tucker Band), and many others. Fans, there are some great musicians on this CD and you can hear the perfect sounds from them throughout the tracks. Rick Cash’s voice is spot-on for Silver Travis.

Track one sets the stage and you can hear the excellent guitar play right off the bat from John Gillie. Trust me, you will hear plenty more in this CD. “You Done Me Wrong” is a solid track to lead off the CD. Rick sings it so well and those lovely background singers add a bit of spice to the tune.

Glyder

Yesterday, Today And Tomorrow Europen rock band Glyder has a solid secret that is about to be released– their third album. The Irish hard rock band introduces a solid, smooth, heavier sound, and a touch of the “punk” mixed in. ‘Yesterday, Today And Tomorrow’ features a guest appearance from Dave Menketti from Y&T on guitar, which is kick-ass to say the least. Oh, Y&T is still alive from the 80’s in some tracks and it is a great add for the sound of the band. There are also some major influences from the early rock band Thin Lizzy, which they have toured with, but they definitely have their own rock sound.

There’s a lot of soul in this album, with Tony Cullen vocals, and it jams like a rock album should–loud, consistent and in-your-face. The guitar play is exceptional and it has some great riffs and hooks from Bat Kinane and Pete Fisher. They hit all ranges and keep your “air guitar” fingers moving. ‘Yesterday, Today And Tomorrow’ really keeps you moving, slowing down occasionally, and would be a great CD for driving the interstate in a fast car–forever.

The first track “That Line” sets the tone of the album. Nice riff from the Y&T time frame. One of the best tracks on this CD and sure to be a solid hit for these guys. It starts out with some cool synthesizers but quickly goes into some solid guitar play and Cullen’s outstanding voice. I love the line

Alexx Calise In Avanti

Man o’ man, has this woman come to play! East coast meet the west coast rocker Alexx Calise. The first release in 2007, ‘Morning Pill,’ was just a taste of what was to come and the delivery in 2010 is a hot album called ‘In Avanti.’

Los Angeles based solo artist has taken some serious time putting together a well crafted CD and it has paid off. Calise’s 9-track album is superb and she’s here to prove there’s a place in the rock world just for her. Place her in with rockers Halestorm and along side Lacuna Coil any day.

The masterful journey starts with “Anything Goes.” This is a bad-ass tune with some extreme energy. I love the mix of tecno that took me back to

22 • MT Focus • July 2010

CrankIt Up!

“Wishing Well” gets your blood pumping and I love the cow bell. Got have more cow bell. This one just plain jams and he sings about wishing things would get better as the lyrics suggest “Broken like a two-dollar hammer, I don’t see no end in sight.”

The title track has that famous Marshall Tucker guitar twang that I love so much. “High Road” is excellent and there’s some beautiful piano playing in this one. I would say this one is one of my favorites on the CD. A little short but to the point.

Want a southern jazzy sound that will get you loving them more?

“El Segundo” has it all. Sax, piano, flute, nice guitar play and it should be blasted loud when played.

“Southern Poet” starts out with that sweet southern guitar play. If you like the sweet sound of southern guitar this one’s for you to soak up. It is just bad-ass.

They do speed it up with “Honky Tonk Shuffle.” I think it has some influence from Lynyrd Skynyrd or even a bit of lyrical influence from The Charlie Daniel’s band. Either way, it is a fun, upbeat song that is typical of the southern rock bands of the past.

On most of the tracks John Gillie just tears it up with Randall Calvert.

Rick sings excellent, Terry Collins has superb piano (organ) play and the drumming from Mike Satterfield is perfect. Oh, let’s not forget the bass playing of Joey Parrish. The bass rhythm is a huge key to the sound. These guys compliment each other so well you’d think they had been together for a very long time. Well, I guess they have in a sense but for this album it just speaks veteran all over it. Get this CD! Go see them in concert! You will fall in love with the music and the band and won’t be disappointed. Check out their information and CD at www.silvertravis.com. by Rob Moore “Oh I know your poker face.” She’s not getting over on him.

“Knockout” is a surprise. They must be avid fans of Muhammad Ali. This tune is all about him. It also closely resembles Thin Lizzy’s “Showdown” and “Jailbreak” mixed together. A pretty cool tune. It’s not surprising though, they did tour with the band.

“Jack Strong” is a bad-ass tune. It really kicks some ass–literally.

Leave this guy alone because Jack Strong will tell you “I came in here to drink my beer.” This is a pretty cool tune with solid guitar play and excellent drums.

The fifth track “Make A Change” is real fast and has that hint of punk in it. Not a bad change for these guys and Cullen is great on this track.

The last main track is the title track. “Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow” slows it down. Kind of a tune that goes back in time to remember that times that were and what is now. Nice guitar play here.

There are three bonus tracks on the CD. Kind of short tracks but pretty good. They are “Time To Fly,” “All You’ve Done,” and “Elverstown” (this one’s an instrumental). “Elverston” features some sexy female background vocals but way to short for any ballad type instrumental. Fantasy all the way. I was hoping for more.

This CD is out and I would add this to your collection. They are smooth and have a great sound. You can check them out online at: www. glydermusic.com, www.myspace.com/glyder or www.myspace.com/spvmusic. Below is their tracklist. by Rob Moore

the 80’s. The lyrics are catchy and she can just plain sing.

Up next, “Break me.” Once again no shortage of fast-paced rock with some powerful riffs. You can also feel the intense message of “Get the hell out of my life.” I think she means it.

“Cry” starts out with some solid acoustic and a message of sadness but Calise starts back with her fast-paced rock with “Get Used To It.” The best track on the CD in my view is “Good Enough.” This has radio all over it and a possible top 20 if it is pushed to the limit. I think this one is good-enough for radio play. “Out of Sight” is a totally sexy song and she sings it with some passionate feeling. This one is also radio worthy.

What a treat. I have to rate this CD a possible 9 out of 10. Nothing is perfect but this is sure an excellent one to collect. Alexx Calise has created a journey of exceptional music with solid vocals and guitar play. ‘In Avanti’ is tops. by Rob Moore

JOKE TIME Plus Other Tidbits

Lessons From the Movie Theater 17. When it appears that you have killed the monster, “never” check to see if it’s really dead.

16. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.

15. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.

14. Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions.

13. If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.

FACE THE FACTS Completely Random Facts • The average 1 1/4 lb. lobster is 7 to 9 years old.

• To find out if a watermelon is ripe, knock it, and if it sounds hollow then it is ripe.

charges were later dropped.

• Only female mosquitoes bite and drink blood.

• In Nepal, cow dung is used for medicinal purposes.

• In Michigan, a woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.

• The heart of an astronaut actually gets smaller when in outer space.

• About 1 in 30 people in the U.S. are in jail, on probation, or on parole.

• Chewing on gum while cutting onions can help a person from producing tears.

• Americans did not commonly use forks until after the Civil War.

• In ancient England a person could not have sex unless you had consent of the King.

• Chained dogs are 3 times more likely to bite than unchained dogs.

• A group of kangaroos is called a mob.

• The Amazon rainforest produces more than 20% the world’s oxygen supply.

12. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you’re in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

11. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several hundred rounds to kill them, so be prepared!

10. If you’re running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it’s still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

9. When you have the benefit of numbers, “never” pair off and go it alone.

8. Do not take *anything* from the dead.

7. As a general rule, don’t solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

6. Don’t fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you’re sure you know what you are doing.

5. Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.

• Goldfish remember better in cold water than warm water.

• It’s illegal in Alabama to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.

• Blue eyes are the most sensitive to light, dark brown the least sensitive.

• Contrary to popular belief, putting sugar in a car’s gas tank will NOT ruin its engine.

• If it isn’t moving a frog can’t see it. If the frog can’t see it, he won’t eat it.

• If you were to roll a lung from a human body and out flat it would be the size of a tennis court.

2. If you’re searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it’s just the cat, “leave the room immediately if you value your life.”

• 97% of all paper money in the US contains traces of cocaine.

and last but not least...

• Former U.S. President Franklin Pierce was arrested during his term as President for running over an old lady with his horse, but the

4. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

3. If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.

1. If you find a town which looks deserted, it’s probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away!

Food for Thought Life’s a bowl of punch, go ahead and spike it!

– Nick Hexum - 311

Jokes Looking to buy a frog?

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?” The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.

After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, “If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?” The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat’s music.

While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. “Sorry,” the man replies, “he’s not for sale.” The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. “No,” he insists, “he’s not for sale.” The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money.

“Are you insane?” the bartender demanded.

“That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!” “Don’t worry about it.” the man answered. “The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat’s a ventriloquist.”

A pirate at the local bar discusses his past A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.

The seaman asks, “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?” The pirate replies, “We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off.”

“Wow!” said the seaman. “What about your hook”? “Well”, replied the pirate, “We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off.”

“Incredible!” remarked the seaman. “How did you get the eye patch”? “A seagull dropping fell into my eye,” replied the pirate.

“You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?,” the sailor asked incredulously. “Well,” said the pirate, “it was my first day with my hook”

Email Us Your Joke management@crankitmag.com July 2010 • MT Focus • 23