THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE | SIX ENTERTAINMENT
Probably the most TOSH criticism ever is when someone calls a film ‘unrealistic’. EXAMPLE: ‘Michelle, I was enjoying Hulk until I noticed that his shorts turned purple when he changed into the Hulk - that is UNREALISTIC.’ This is a graphic failure of perspective for obvious reasons, namely that the issue is with the SHORTS and not the hulk concept. Most films are unrealistic, even ones that don’t have shorts, but you would never hear a chap say Mean Girls was a joyless chasm because a shirt with the breasts cut out would never catch on as fashionable in real life. If a parent asks his child what his dreams and ambitions are, and the child says he wants to be a helicopter, the parent doesn’t disown the child for being unrealistic. People ought to be grateful that films are unrealistic because otherwise we’d have only neorealist pictures, and we can all agree that they have no swagger. Ya feels me?
GHOSTBUSTERS | BLACK RHINO PRO PRODUCTIONS
field was to give audiences a slice of action pizza. Complaining about anything other than the amount of fun you had is about the same as getting off a log flume and saying, ‘well I loved the drops and the tension as I was getting cranked up, but I couldn’t buy into the romance’. You don’t expect believable romance on a log flume and you ought not expect it from Cloverfield. Conversely, you don’t watch The Human Centipede and complain afterwards that you barely got wet. Regarding expectations again, I think it’s naff when people attack a sequel for being too similar to its predecessor. ‘OH GHOSTBUSTERS 2, WHAT A SURPRISE, IT’S A COMEDY ABOUT HOW THEY BUSTIN’ GHOSTS. SEEN IT BEFORE. I WANT THEM BE BUSTIN’ MOVES THIS TIME.’ By this logic, the critic ought to be able to enjoy any film because it will be unlike the original Ghostbusters. Like Ace Ventura that doesn’t have ghosts in it, but it’s daft to think of somebody saying ‘MY ENTHUSIASM FOR ACE VENTURA CAN BE ATTRIBUTED TO ITS LACK OF PARANORMAL POPPYCOCK’. Also if a person dislikes Ghostbusters 2 because it’s like Ghostbusters, then do they also dislike Ghostbusters because it’s like Ghostbusters? NOT LIKELY ROFL. What people should expect from a sequel is similar content to the last film. Criticising a film for your expectations being cockamamie is like saying you were enjoying The Happening until something happened, because you weren’t expecting that.
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