Beyond Words Literary Magazine, Issue 10, January 2021 by Beyond Words Literary Magazine

Beyond Words Issue10 January 2021 A r tw or k : L u i s For es

Bey on d W or d s ? I n ter n ati on al L i ter ar y M agazi n e I ssu e 10 , Jan u ar y 20 21

Ed i t or : Gal Sl on i m M ar keti n g O f f i cer (U K ): Jad e W r i gh t Read er s: A am n a A h m ed , Gi u l i a M i l azzo, K ay l a Fr an ces M u r r ay, M ar y T h om p son

A am n a A h m ed i s i s a f u l l ti m e m u m of t w o cr azy gi r l s an d a h om em aker . W h en t i m e al l ow s, sh e l oves r ead i n g, cof f ee an d cat ch i n g u p w i t h f r i en d s - som et i m es al l t h r ee t h i n gs togeth er .

Gi u l i a M i l azzo , or i gi n al ly f r om Rom e, I t aly, m oved t o L on d on t o p u r su e a car eer i n book p u bl i sh i n g. Sh e p r ev i ou sly co- ed i t ed a H al l ow een ch ar i t y an t h ol ogy f or Sm ash Bear Pu bl i sh i n g i n su p p or t of W om en 's A i d . Sh e en joy s t ak i n g l on g w al k s an d eat i n g m or e p i zza th an sh e sh ou l d .

K ay l a Fr an ces M u r r ay i s a w r i ter an d p oet ess f r om t h e Sou t h east er n U S. T h i s i s h er secon d ti m e ser v i n g as on e of ou r ed i tor i al boar d m em ber s. Som e of h er w or k can be r ead at vocal .m ed i a/ au th or s/ k ay l a- f r an ces- m u r r ay

M ar y T h o m p so n i s a w i n n er of tw o BI FFY 50 aw ar d s (B est B r i t i sh & I r i sh Fl ash Fi ct i on ), an d h er stor y, 'T h e Ci r cl e i s Com p l et e' w as n om i n at ed f or a Pu sh car t Pr i ze. 'L ad y bi r d ' w as i n cl u d ed i n B est M i cr of i ct i on 20 20 an d h er f l ash col l ect i on w as H i gh ly Com m en d ed i n El l i p si s Z i n e's 20 20 com p et i t i on . M ar y t w eet s at @M ar y Ru t h 69.

Cop y r i gh t ÂŠ Bey on d W or d s Pu bl i sh i n g H ou se, B er l i n , Ger m an y Fi r st p r i n ti n g, Jan u ar y 20 21 I SBN 978- 3- 948977- 0 5- 4

L i st i n g J.T . N ash

Ju st a l i st of th i n gs I l i ke: D r agon s Ch i n ese f ood Br ow n cor d u r oy M assages A n d on e of th i n gs I d on ?t: Raci sm H ear tbu r n D y i n g f am i ly D i r ty k i tch en s T h ey ?r e al l al i ke i f y ou take a secon d , l ook p ast th e l etter s at t h e i d ea.

A r tw or k : Jess Ri ch ar d s

L ad y K i r i n i O .K .

Sh e bu zzed w i t h a cr ack l i n g en er gy, zi p p i n g f ast t h en al i gh t i n g p au si n g w i th a f oot su sp en d ed i n t h e ai r i n f r on t of h er , sh oe t i p on an i n v i si bl e step f i n ger s sp r ead an d t y p i n g l etter s or n am es or som e f ai r y cod e i n to th e f l u or escen t d r af t sh e f l i tted i n si l en ce com i n g t o r est w i t h an el bow p oi n t i n g d ow n an d on e tow ar d s th e w el k i n a jau n t y d i agon al w h i ch sh e h el d f or a f ai n t secon d as i f p au sed by t h e m i n d l ess p r ess of sp acebar th en of f sh e f l ew on h er cel l op h an e w i n gs, t r ai l i n g p l ast i c bags.

A r tw or k : T h er ese L i von n e 2

I t al l gr ey s A l ex M ep h am

Rai n ar r i ves to m eet m e at th e r i ver n ot f r om above bu t f r om ever y an gl e a d am p sh eet seep i n g th r ou gh l ay er s of cl oth an d d er m t o con v u l si n g m u scl e, r aw an d aw ai ti n g bal m I t al l gr ey s an ou tl ook l i ke ol d beef m y bod y i n gr i p p ed by am bi en t m u r k tu r n i n g of f soi l i n g f or m on th s n ow cl ai m ed by th e r i si n g d an k

A r tw or k : M ar i H on m a

K i t ch en T ab l e M at t h ew Gr een

I f i d d l e w i t h m y gu i t ar A n d l i st en t o t h e ai r cr af t Fl y ov er

T h ey d o n ?t f l y as l ow A s o t h er p l aces I ?v e b een

O r as r egu l ar

A r tw or k : M ar i H on m a

T af f y M ol ly D i ck i n

You h ad a beau t i f u l ly d an ger ou s m i n d Gr ey i n g h ai r an d y ear s of u n sp oken p oet r y Stu ck betw een y ou r t eet h l i ke t af f y Velvet secr et s af t er m i d n i gh t T h at I bu r d en ed y ou w i t h , m y d ar l i n g K n ow i n g y ou w er e al r ead y l ost i n m e Pr om i ses tr aced back t o t h e f i r st t i m e I r each ed acr oss t h at t abl e Pl ead i n g f or y ou r ad or at i on A r eck l ess r equ est on m y l i p s T h at I n ever d r eam ed y ou w ou l d en t er t ai n

A r tw or k : A n d r ea L ew i ck i

W h i t e Fl ag J. H ei m ber ger

I n d r eam s y ou ju m p f r om br i d ges,

A n d n ot h i n g m akes y ou cr y l i ke bl u e

ti ger s si ze th ei r jaw s ar ou n d y ou r f eet .

sk i es bl eed i n g i n t o r i ver , or t h e p u l l

You tw i tch aw ake i n bu r sts of h ear t beat ,

of m oon f r om beh i n d y ou r t eet h ,

alw ay s bef or e th e gr ou n d ,

h ear t t o t h r oat , as i f beat i n g m u scl e

alw ay s bef or e th e cr u sh of bon e.

m i gh t sai l f r om op en m ou t h an d t ake i t s p l ace i n el ect r i c M i l k y W ay.

You ar e gr i p p i n g gr ass ben eath star s l i ke h ai r of a l over , an en ti r e r oot sy stem ,

A lw ay s bef or e t h e l i gh t t u r n s,

a f u l l n ess i n tw o th ou san d bl ad es

alw ay s bef or e t h e m ou r n i n g d oves,

si n gi n g f r esh cu t ch or u s agai n st sk i n ?

on t h i s n i gh t , l i ke t h e on e bef or e,

beneath you, we are breathing.

i n d r esser d r aw er s, u n d er sock s w i t h h ol es, y ou t u ck aw ay y ou r su r r en d er .

A r t w or k : Pau l a D eStef an i s

V i n es A l ex an d er Per r y W e ar e v i n es al l . Cl i m bi n g, tw i sti n g, cl i n gi n g, an d cr eep i n g al on g th e con cr ete w al l s of l i f e. I w an t to com m an d m y stem s, h ow ever f l ex i bl e, m al l eabl e, an d w eak th ey m ay be. Per h ap s f i r st I sh ou l d cu t th em .

T h e U l t r aso u n d Ci ar a Tot t on

1 W h at a both er t h at som eth i n g so sm al l com m an d s th e p r eci n ct of m y bod y. I t i s n ot a h ear t beati n g th at m u tes th e r oom . T h e d octor , h er m ou th a gr i m l i n e, as sh e p u ts on a su r gi cal m ask , sl i d es t h e gr ai n y i m age acr oss h er d esk , ?d o y ou w an t to keep i t?? sh e ask s, ?t h e p i ctu r e?? 2 M y br easts sw el l ed l i ke bal l oon s. A r ed bal l oon m y f ath er bou gh t on a Satu r d ay i n Sep tem ber w h en th e Sp ok an e cou n ty f ai r gi f ted m e m y f i r st taste of cotton can d y an d a r ed bal l oon . 3 I n th at ol d tor m en t betw een ap p eti tes, p i cketer s w i th th ei r p oster s of th e ch op p ed u p baby p ar ts t el l m e th e d ay t h at f i n ger n ai l s gr ow acr oss th e d el i cate, p ap er y sk i n of a f etu s cu r l ed u p l i ke a w or m i n si d e m y bel ly. y ou r ech o i n th e bl ack n ess. 4 Bl u eber r i es - th e ex p en si ve on es m y m oth er bou gh t on Satu r d ay s i n su m m er w h en t h e su n beat d ow n th r ou gh th e back w i n d ow of ou r f am i ly car as w e d r ove t o th e l ake i n I d ah o. Fr om th e cool er bag f i l l ed w i th d r i ed ou t ch i cken br east, sal ad d r essi n g th at l eaked a sal t y sl i m e acr oss th e i ce cu bes, t h e bl u eber r i es10

i n p r i st i n e, cr ack l i n g p l ast i c; t h ei r t au t sk i n I cr u sh ed bet w een m y t eet h , t h ei r d ar k p u r p l e sw eet n ess st ai n ed m y t eet h . 5 M y bel ly i s f l at . Ei gh t w eek s si n ce con cep t i on , y ou ar e t h e si ze of a bl u eber r y. I t h r ow aw ay t h e p i ct u r e. I t con f esses n ot h i n g bey on d y ou r r esem bl an ce t o a bl u eber r y. 6 A r ed bal l oon m y f at h er t i ed t o m y w r i st bef or e i t soar ed bey on d m y gr i p , bey on d t h e sk y, i n t o t h e n ex t d oor gal ax y w h er e God si t s on h i s h eaven ly t h r on e w ai t i n g t o accep t t h e r ecen t ly sen t an d t h e p r om p t ly r et u r n ed . 7 ?T h ey cal l i t excav at i on ? m y d oct or say s; l i ke a t i n y v acu u m cl ean er bet w een m y l egs su ck i n g a t i n y m ess f r om a f i l t h y car p et . T h e an est h esi a d r ags m e i n t o a d ar k , p u r p l e obl i v i on . ?D o y ou w an t t o keep i t ?? Ech oes i n t h e bl ack n ess. 8 Bu r n ed beh i n d m y ey el i d s, a gr ai n y sh ad ow I see i n t h e f ad ed p at t er n s, i n t h e bl u eber r i es, p op p ed i n t o m y m ou t h on a bu r n i n g d ay, t h e su n beat i n g d ow n acr oss m y sh ou l d er s, y ou r ech o i n t h e bl ack n ess.

A r tw or k : A n d r ea L ew i ck i

T h e Essen ce o f U s Er i n Cou r v i l l e

I w o n d er i f i t w as j u st a t r i ck o f t h e l i gh t t h at m ad e y o u r ey es d an ce b eh i n d t h e f l am e. W h en t h ey p ai n t ed p r o m i ses o f go l d en d ay s i n p l ace o f t aw n y su n set s, I b el i ev ed t h em w i t h o u t f ai l . A n d w h en t h e sk i es w er e d i sso n an t , I l o o k ed t o t h e gr o u n d b el ow . T h e f ace y o u sh ow ed t h e w o r l d w as t h e sam e y o u sm i l ed t h r o u gh t o m e. I t co n t r o l l ed , i t h i d , i t w ai t ed . A n d w h en i t b r o k e, an d t h e l i gh t gam b o l ed aw ay, t h e p r et t y p i ct u r es cr ack ed al o n g w i t h i t , sh at t er i n g t h e al r ead y - f r agi l e f aรงad e.

I si t u n d er a ch er r y t r ee i m agi n i n g w h at w en t w r o n g, h ow t h e i n si d e o f t h e sm al l u n assu m i n g f r u i t co u l d b e co n ceal ed by a f au l t y ex t er i o r , h ow t h e so f t sk i n an d scen t s o f su m m er m ask ed t h e p o i so n ed d ecay w i t h i n , i n n o cen t l y d em an d i n g m y i n co n st an t r ev er i e. N ow t h e l i gh t f eel s h o l l ow . I n st ead o f l ov el y sp i r al s i n t h e n i gh t , i t m u st f en d o f f t h e i n f i n i t e, el se t o b e co n su m ed an d l o st . C h i l d h o o d m o n st er s can ?t b e h el d b ack al o n e. Per h ap s i t i s easi er t o si m p l y l et t h em i n si d e.

A r tw or k : A n d r ea L ew i ck i 12

I M i ssed I t W h en t h e I n t er n at i o n al Sp ace St at i o n Fl ew O v er h ead T u cker W u l f f W h at a si gh t i t w ou l d h ave been . A n an gel soar i n g t h r ou gh t h e st ar s an aly zi n g w h at ever d ata i t i s th at an an gel of th at k i n d w ou l d an aly ze. A cel est i al bod y w i t h su ch r ei gn i n g p ow er , y et n oth i n g w as ever accom p l i sh ed . A d i st an t cal l i n g ou t , l i ke t h e gr een l i gh t escap i n g East Egg t h at m ean t so m u ch bu t on ly i n sp i r ed a d r am at i c r each i n g h an d . W h at a si gh t i t w ou l d h ave been . A si n gu l ar bl i n k i n g bu l b am on gst t h e t h ou san d s of t w i n k l i n g ot h er s, ar ch i n g over ex i sten ce. A d etecti ve?s f l ash l i gh t w i th f r esh ly d r i ed ou t bat t er i es an d a cr acked m et al coi l t h at can on ly i l l u m i n ate a sh u d d er . A si gn al , si gn i n g i t s secr et M or se cod e t h r ou gh an i n v i si bl e w i r e ex ten d i n g l i gh t y ear s aw ay. A n i n au d i bl e beam com m u n i cat i n g an ex act d et ai l of absol u t ely n oth i n g to th e m asses; sp ar e on e, tw o, or t h r ee m en i n w h i t e over coat s sh ar i n g t h e w or l d ?s l ar gest m agn i f y i n g gl ass. W h at a si gh t i t w ou l d h ave been . To ar gu e abou t w h i ch d y i n g gl i m m er i t w as, l i ke ch i l d r en v i si ti n g a zoo f or t h e f i r st t i m e bar r agi n g t h ei r p ar en t s w i t h u sel ess i n f or m ati on th at w ou l d be soon f or got t en . W h at a si gh t i t w ou l d h ave been , t o gaze i n t o t h at bl ack sea an d see r eal ly n oth i n g an d to r ep or t t o al l t h e ot h er s h ow am azi n g i t w as.

A r tw or k : Sh u qi Gao

A b o u t Su san Ger ar d Bi an co

You w an t me to say som eth i n g k i n d abou t

an n oy s D ad . H e si t s at t h e h ead of t h e

Su san ? I ?m sor r y, M i ster , bu t I ?m n ot t h e

t abl e r i gh t n ex t t o m e an d Gi n n y. I t w as

on e y ou sh ou l d be ask i n g. I w ou l d n ?t be

so f u n n y ; ever y f i ve m i n u t es D ad ?d ban g

an y good at i t. I d on ?t k n ow an y t h i n g

h i s h an d on t h e t abl e an d say, ?Gi n n y,

abou t h er . Yeah , sh e w as m y ol d er si st er

st op sw i n gi n g y ou r l egs.? ?Gi n n y, qu i t

an d al l , an d sh e h el p ed M om ar ou n d t h e

m ov i n g ar ou n d so m u ch .? ?For God ?s

h ou se, bu t w e h ar d ly ever sp oke. M ost ly,

sake, can ?t y ou si t st i l l f or t w o m i n u t es??

I d i d n ?t p ay m u ch atten ti on to h er . A n d

I t w ou l d m ake m e l au gh . D ad d i d n ?t l i ke

sh e sat w ay d ow n at th e oth er en d of t h e

i t w h en I l au gh ed , bu t som et i m es I

d i n n er tabl e, on m y si d e, n ex t to M om .

cou l d n ?t h el p i t . L i ke t h e t i m e D ad got so

Ron n i e an d Jess sat betw een u s, so i t?s n ot

m ad h e sai d , ?Gi n n y, i f y ou d on ?t st op

l i ke I even got to l ook at h er .

k i ck i n g y ou r l egs, I ?m goi n g t o t i e t h em t o t h e ch ai r !? I l au gh ed so h ar d t h e m i l k I

N ow, i f y ou ask m e abou t m y l i ttl e si st er Gi n n y I

w as d r i n k i n g cam e f ly i n g ou t of m y n ose.

cou l d tel l y ou a w h ol e l ot

I k n ow D ad w ou l d n ever d o w h at h e sai d .

becau se sh e sat r i gh t acr oss f r om m e at

H e w as ju st say i n g i t t o keep Gi n n y f r om

d i n n er . I cou l d tel l y ou al l abou t h ow sh e

m ov i n g ar ou n d so m u ch . Bu t i t d i d n ?t

eats. So, i f i t?s gr een sh e w on ?t eat i t? l i ke

w or k . Sh e ju st l ooked at h i m an d kep t

br occol i or p eas. Sh e l i kes w h i t e or y el l ow

f ood .

And

sh e

l i kes

sw i n gi n g h er l egs.

eat

ever y th i n g i n or d er . Fi r st, sh e eat s h er

N o, I can ?t t el l y ou m u ch of an y t h i n g

vegetabl es, th en h er p otatoes, an d t h en

abou t Su san , excep t

sh e w or k s on cu tti n g h er m eat, w h i ch sh e

bossy. Bu t t h at ?s n ot a n i ce t h i n g t o say,

h ar d ly ever f i n i sh es. Sh e?s so l i ttl e I gu ess

esp eci al ly si n ce? w el l , y ou k n ow.

sh e gets too f u l l f r om eati n g al l th e ot h er

m ay be sh e w as

O h , bu t t h er e?s on e t h i n g I can t el l y ou , a

stu f f an d d oesn ?t h ave an y r oom l ef t f or

w h ol e l ot h as ch an ged si n ce t h e acci d en t .

t h e m eat. A n d becau se sh e?s l i ttl e, h er

Gi n n y

f eet d on ?t tou ch th e f l oor w h en sh e si t s,

d oesn ?t

si t

acr oss

f r om

an y m or e. D ad m ad e h er m ove t o t h e

an d sh e?s alw ay s sw i n gi n g h er l egs back

ot h er en d of t h e t abl e w h er e Su san an d

an d f or th , w h i ch m akes th e top p ar t of

M om u sed t o si t .

h er bod y m ove ar ou n d a l ot, w h i ch r eal ly

A r tw or k : Tan i a L . Betan cou r t 14

W o r m Sav i o r s Er i c Fi sh er Ston e A f ter ch i l d h ood r ai n st or m s, w or m s w ash ed f r om f r on t y ar d s t o st r eet cu r bs. I h an d ed th ose m u d - eel s back to l aw n s w h er e th ei r gu t s p acked d i r t . I sti l l l ove th em , t h r i v i n g l i ke r at t ai l s u n d er f oot, p i n k n ood l es p l ow i n g bon es to gr ass. B i r d s bl u d geon t h ose m eat - w h i p s th at p er f or ate th e w or l d . I th i n k th ey sp eak , h i ssi n g at p l an t s, com m an d i n g bl oom s, sl u r p i n g p r ai r i es, w et y ar n s tw i sti n g u n d er m u sh r oom s. H ow ever gr otesqu e t h ei r gr i m y r i t es, th ey w eave th e l oam ?s w eal t h f or w h eat an d cor n , soi l n u r sed by w or m s jau n ti n g l i ke f i sh t h r ou gh t h e ear t h .

A r tw or k : L u i s For es

D y sp h o r i a Ex o ci t ed ae Fi n n A n d er son

So I catch m y sel f agai n i n th e bath r oom m i r r or

I t ch i n g m y sh o u l d er b l ad es an d w i sh i n g o u t b i r t h d ay can d l es

For I h ave alw ay s f el t d i f f er en t

su r r ep t i t i o u sl y d ar i n g n o t t h i n k I co u l d b e gr an t ed t h i s

N ever con ten t i n m y ow n sk i n n ow i t i s f l ak i n g of f . O p al escen t scal es Feat h er s p r ot r u d e i n d o u b l e r ow s o f f o l d ed go l d A tw o- f or ked tai l , gi l l s an d t h i n , cel est i al w i n gs ach i n g f or th e d eep bl u e sea ?

I see t w o k i n gd o m s, h i gh an d l ow , at o n ce:

i n d ou bl e v i si on , I ?s d i v i d ed th e d ar k r ed cl oven p u p i l

I h av e b eco m e t h e r ai n b ow I r i s m essen ger o f t h e sk y

N ow I d ef y God an d d i ch ot om y : t h e w h ol e w or l d goes u n d er w ater , an d I am a f l y i n g f i sh l an d ed aboar d th e A r k , gasp i n g i n t h e cr i sp ai r

A r t w or k : Sh u qi Gao

T o n i gh t 's W o r r i es K at h l een L ar k i n

A r t w or k : T h er ese L i von n e 20

T h i n gs th at I w or r y abou t th at ar e tot al ly n or m al t o w or r y abou t th at I l ack a p ar ti cu l ar cor p or at e p er ver si on t od ay ?s em p l oy er i s seek i n g th at Coasean br eed i n g oozes f r om m y p or es th at th e d octor p r escr i bed ar ti f i ci al t ear s f or a cor n ea t ear th at m y p eth y d r a an d cop p er h ead an d st r aw ber r y cou n t er f act u al s ar e m u sh r oom i n g an d sh atter i n g t h e w i n d ow s th at d ocu m en tati on ch eap en s si n cer i t y th at I ow n a Can on , N i kon , Pol ar oi d , an d M i n ol t a th at th i s i s p er f or m ati ve th at th i s i s p r i v i l ege th at th i s i s of th e gar d en v ar i et y th at alea iacta est th at I can cou n t car d s th at m y p ar en ts?h obbi es ar e f at t y m eat an d f i n e w i n e th at Z u cker ber g gou ged caver n s t o t h e f ar si d e of m y br ai n . th at d ocu m en tar i es on ly d em ocr at i ze t h e cl er gy th at m y f i n est od es ar e to th e K ar d ash i an -W est s th at Rom e i s h ol l ow th at ou r cr ad l e can n ot d i g en ou gh gr aves th at I w i l l l ose m y teeth th at I am tooth l ess th at i r on bi r d s ar e su sp en d ed m i d ai r th at th e m ar kets ar e p l u m m eti n g th at a l i f e i s w or th betw een tw o m i l l i on t o n i n e m i l l i on d ol l ar s (som eon e d i d t h e m at h ) th at ol d er l i ves ar e w or th l ess (I d.) th at m on ey i s d i r ty th at m on ey i s f r eed om th at m on ey i s a test th at m on ey car r i es CO V I D - 19 th at af ter ton i gh t cor p or ate p er ver si on i s m oot th at Facebook i s th e saf est w ay t o con n ect th at l aw y er s ar e or d ai n ed to l i ve of f car r i on th at u n d er ly i n g h eal th con d i ti on s cor r el at e w i t h l i ves w el l - l i ved th at I som eti m es (r ead : of ten ) d r eam of a w ar d r obe cr aw l i n g w i t h m i n k s an d si l k w or m s th at som eon e sees m y h ou se i s gl ass th at som eon e tosses a ston e th at som eon e ap p r ai ses m y cl oset th at som eon e w h i sp er s I ?m n ot w ear i n g cl ot h es th at tom or r ow th i s w i l l be a m er e n i gh t m ar e th at tom or r ow th i s w i l l be a m er e r ever i e th at I ?ll f or get to r ecor d i t th at m y step s squ ash m u sh r oom sp or es br eed i n g i n m y w ake th at y ou d o n ot h ear th e bi r d s ch at t er i n g i n Gr eek th at m ay be I h ave been i n sti tu t i on al i zed m y w h ol e l i f e.

M or e El ai n e N ad al I w an t a p oet k i n d of l ove, car ef u l ly cr af ted , on e th at keep s f al l i n g, a l ove com m i tted , ar d en t an d f ever i sh to f i n d an d u n vei l , to d r ap e i n sy m bol i sm . I w an t a p oet k i n d of l ove, f r u str ated an d eager to gi ve a h ear t w i th i ts tr i n kets an d tr easu r es, af f l i cti on s an d p l easu r es- on e th at bl eed s f or gr ow th an d sow s seed s, th at si n k s to u p l i f t an d w on ?t l et go of th e p en , of th e w or d s th at com e l i ke a p er en n i al sti l l n ess or ep h em er al en ch an t m en t . A p oet k i n d of l ove, i n f r ee ver se or i am bi c p en t am et er , an od e f or f i n d i n g com p l eti on i n th e act of n ever r eal ly com p l et i n g- f or th e cap tu r ed m om en t, r egar d l ess of h ow d r ead f u l becau se som eon e i s th er e to sh ar e i t w i t h an d th e m oon an d th e star s ar e n ot en ou gh an d th e f l ow er s an d tr ees ar e n ot en ou gh - th e over w h el m i n g f eel i n g, th e i m p et u s t o em br ace- th at k i n d of l ove- - th at al i gn s an d br eat h es m et ap h or s an d si m i l es, th at gr i p s an d gr ap p l es f or con t i n u i t y, a f l ow, a p r ogr essi on of m or e stan zas y et to be w r i tt en .

A r tw or k : K ar u Sh ao 23

A r t w or k : Pau l K r am er W ater s

C h r i st m as A n gel Ei l een B r i l l You sat i n a ch ai r by th e w i n d ow. I w aved , y ou sm i l ed an d w aved back , an d as I ap p r oach ed , I cou l d see y ou r cr escen t ey es. O h , th ose ey es! T h ey sp ar k l ed , cr i n k l i n g i n th e cor n er s. I t p l eased m e th at y ou r ecogn i zed y ou r d au gh ter ?s f ace. I t w as a sm al l m er cy i n w h at h ad becom e a d ai ly con f i r m at i on of al l th at h ad been l ost , an d t h at w h i ch r em ai n ed . ?I k n ew y ou ?d com e back ,? y ou sai d as w e h u gged . ?So good to see y ou !? I sai d . W e san g Ch r i stm as son gs w i t h t h e gr ou p . You w er e l osi n g i n t er est , so w e w al ked back to y ou r r oom , w h er e I cou l d n ?t h el p y ou f ol l ow th e l ogi st i cs of p u tti n g a bl ou se on a h an ger . I r esi gn ed m y sel f to com p l et i n g t h e t ask on m y ow n w h i l e y ou d i d al l y ou cou l d to m ake u se of y ou r h an d s by f ol d i n g, th en u n f ol d i n g, ever y ar t i cl e of cl oth i n g on th e bed . ?T h ese bl ou ses ar e l ovely,? y ou sai d . ?T h ey ar e. You h ave ver y n i ce cl ot h es.? W e l ef t y ou r r oom an d w al ked back to th e ch ai r by th e w i n d ow as p eop l e w er e d i sp er si n g f or qu i et t i m e, n ap s, or m ed i cati on s. You sat d ow n , an d I p u l l ed an oth er ch ai r cl ose t o y ou r s. You sm i l ed ex p ectan tly, as i f y ou th ou gh t I m i gh t gi ve y ou i n t er est i n g n ew s. I l i f ted y ou r h an d an d k i ssed i t , th en y ou d i d th e sam e to m e. A f oot- l on g an gel on a st an d cau gh t y ou r ey e an d y ou ad m i r ed i t s l on g, r ed , velvet r obe. You seem ed con f u sed ,

u n abl e t o i d en t i f y t h e sm al l f i gu r e. ?I t ?s an an gel ,? I sai d . ?You can t el l by t h e w i n gs.? A n d y ou sai d , w i t h t h at p l ay f u l gr i n , ?A n an gel w i t h ver y n i ce cl ot h es.? I n t h ose d ay s, m y i n st i n ct w as t o r em i n d m y sel f t h at y ou w er e st i l l i n t h e w or l d - - h er e, d esp i te y ou r d ep ar t u r e. I h ad t h e v i scer al ach e of m i ssi n g y ou even as y ou sat bef or e m e. I can still hug her, I ?d say t o m y sel f . I can smell the sweetness of her skin, see the radiance of her smile, t h ou gh al l t h at w as f am i l i ar w as i n cr em en t al ly d i sap p ear i n g w i t h t i m e. T h r ou gh t h e y ear s, I squ i n t ed t h r ou gh each t r an sf or m at i on t o see w h at l i n ger ed an d w h at ch an ged : y ou r sen se of h u m or becam e m or e n au gh t y, as y ou r ver bal f i l t er m el t ed aw ay ; y ou r gen t l e, i m p i sh d em ean or an d agr eeabl e af f ect w er e f i xed , gl u ed t o y ou r essen ce as t i gh t ly as i s on e?s sk i n t o t h e scal p ; an d y ou r f on d n ess f or t ak i n g w al k s w as u n w aver i n g, u n t i l , t h r ou gh an u n f or t u n at e f al l an d y ou r i n abi l i t y t o l ear n h ow t o u se a w al ker , y ou w er e f or ced t o sp en d y ou r r em ai n i n g d ay s i n a w h eel ch ai r . T h i s w as p er h ap s m y sad d est r eal i zat i on : y ou cou l d n o l on ger w al k by m y si d e, y ou r ar m l i n ked i n m i n e, bot h of u s l ook i n g ou t w ar d at t h e sam e p at h bef or e u s. Pu sh i n g y ou i n a w h eel ch ai r as I st r u ggl ed t o h ear y ou r sof t u t t er an ces w as n ot t h e w or st f at e, bu t i t ch an ged ou r d y n am i cs i n ju st on e m or e w ay.

Ei gh t m on th s af ter w e m u sed abou t t h e Ch r i stm as an gel , I sat i n a ch ai r acr oss f r om y ou r h osp i tal bed , w at ch i n g y ou take d eep br eath s i n an d p u sh l on g br eath s ou t. T h er e w as a r h y th m to y ou r r esp i r ati on n ow, an d y ou r l u n gs w er e n o l on ger st r u ggl i n g to w or k . I star ed at y ou r w h i te, si l k y h ai r , as f i n e as a baby ?s, w i th sof t cu r l s an d sm al l w i sp s acr oss y ou r f or eh ead . A f ew w eek s ear l i er , I ?d tr i m m ed th ose l ock s. So i n ti m ate i s th e p r ocess of t ou ch i n g, com bi n g an d cu tti n g an ot h er p er son ?s h ai r . A n d y ou r sk i n ! I n th e m i d d l e of th e n i gh t, I h el d y ou r h an d , f eel i n g th e sof t n ess an d w ar m th . You w er e squ eezi n g so ti gh tly as i f y ou k n ew i t w as m e th er e by y ou r si d e. I h ad to p ee, bu t I d i d n ?t d ar e l eave even w h en I th ou gh t y ou ?d br eak m y f i n ger s w i th th at ti gh t gr i p . You w er e so t i n y, so f r ai l , y et sti l l str on g. N ow y ou ar e gon e i n th e m ost l i t er al sen se of th e w or d . T h an k f u l ly, as t h e m on th s p ass, I ?m n o l on ger l ef t w i t h ju st th e r ecol l ecti on s of y ou r d ecl i n e. T h e m em or i es w h i ch f l ood m y m i n d ar e, m or e an d m or e, of th e m u l ti tu d e of i n si d e jokes w e sh ar ed , t h e gam es of m ake- bel i eve w e p l ay ed w h en I w as a ch i l d , th e l i ttl e tr i p s w e t ook , y ou an d I . T h at w eeken d i n At l an ti c Ci ty, w h en I w as th i r teen . You h u n g y ou r w et sw i m su i t ou t of t h e n i n th - f l oor h otel w i n d ow becau se y ou w an ted i t to d r y f or th e n ex t d ay, an d w h en y ou tu r n ed back ar ou n d , t h e sw i m su i t w as gon e. W e both p eer ed over th e ed ge an d saw th at i t h ad f al l en an d l an d ed on an oth er bu i l d i n g bel ow, an d si m u l tan eou sly, w e br oke i n to f i ts of l au gh ter .

?H ow abou t i f I gr ab y ou by y ou r an k l es,? y ou su ggest ed t h r ou gh t h e h i l ar i t y, bar ely abl e t o get y ou r w or d s ou t . ?I ?ll l ow er y ou d ow n ju st n ear en ou gh t o sn at ch t h e sw i m su i t .? ?N o, n o!? I sh ou t ed w i t h h u m or ou s squ eal s, t ear s of l au gh t er st r eam i n g d ow n m y ch eek s. ?W h at y ou ?r e goi n g t o d o i s f l i n g y ou r sel f on t o t h at r oof l i ke Jam es B on d , an d t h en scal e d ow n t h e si d e of t h e bu i l d i n g, sw i m su i t i n h an d !? I n m y d r eam l ast n i gh t , I sat on t h e sof a r ead i n g t h e book of ocean p oem s y ou ?d gi ven m e t w en t y y ear s ago. I l ooked u p , an d t h er e y ou w er e, sm i l i n g at m e, y ou r sp ar k l i n g, cr escen t ey es cr i n k l i n g i n t h e cor n er s. ?I k n ew y ou ?d com e back ,? I sai d , r i si n g t o h u g y ou . ?So good t o see y ou !? y ou sai d , squ eezi n g m e i n y ou r ar m s. I k i ssed y ou r ch eek an d f el t t h e sof t n ess an d w ar m t h of y ou r sk i n agai n st m y l i p s. I r an m y f i n ger s t h r ou gh y ou r gen t l e cu r l s. ?Cu p of t ea?? I asked , h ol d i n g bot h y ou r h an d s i n m i n e. ?I ?d l ove t h at .? I l ef t t h e r oom k n ow i n g t h at , h av i n g l et go of y ou r h an d s, I cou l d n ot be cer t ai n y ou ?d st i l l be t h er e w h en I r et u r n ed . I n t h e d r eam , m y cel l p h on e r an g. ?H el l o?? ?I ?m st i l l h er e,? y ou sai d . ?I w on ?t l eave u n t i l y ou com e back .? ?O h ,? I sai d , r el i eved . ?You ?r e an an gel .? You l au gh ed . ?Yes. A n an gel w i t h ver y n i ce cl ot h es.?

A r tw or k : Sh u qi Gao 26

Su m m ar y o f T h eo l o gy Tom B ai l ey I t?s tr u e w h at th ey say, y ou k n ow. I f y ou h ol d a book w i th i ts w i n gs op en at ju st th e r i gh t an gl e, t h e sh ad ow i t t h r ow s w i l l l ook l i ke an an gel . I su ggest y ou r ch i l d r en p ack a book w h en ever t h ey l eave t h e h ou se. A book , af ter al l , i s a saf et y p r ecau t i on , r ath er l i ke an ep i - p en , or even a f i r e escap e. I n an y gi ven em er gen cy, y ou r ch i l d cou l d u se a book as a h i d i n g p l ace ? ju st op en u p i ts cover an d cr aw l i n si d e. You r ch i l d cou l d even u se a book as a m ean s of sel f d ef en ce. I f a book- f i gh t br eak s ou t , y ou w ou l d n ?t w an t y ou r ch i l d t o be t h e on e w h o?s em p ty - h an d ed . I n th at case, I su ggest th ey ch oose w i sely : th ey cou l d n ?t d o m u ch d am age w i t h a ch ap book of p oem s, bu t a D i cken s n ovel cou l d k n ock a p er son ou t . You r ch i l d cou l d beat a m an t o d eat h w i th th e Summa T heologica. I f y ou ask m e, t h e m or e book s th e better . Ju st th i n k h ow m an y t i m es i n l i f e a book cou l d com e i n h an d y. You r ch i l d cou l d be stop p ed i n t h e st r eet an d asked to p r ove th e ex i sten ce of god . You r ch i l d cou l d be asked , at gu n p oi n t , t o p r ess a f l ow er u r gen t ly.

A r tw or k : N i ch ol a B en d al l 29

O v er d o n e Gi u l i a d e Gr egor i o L i sto T h e sti n k y br eath of ti r ed n ess st i ck s t o m y n eck ; Ad h er es to m y sk i n i n attem p ts to scar e m e; To p u sh m e aw ay f r om r eal i ty. Fr om th e p i l e of an x i ety I ?m becom i n g, Sl ow ly d ep osi ti n g m y bon es an d l i m bs A n d r etr i ev i n g on ly cu r d l ed bl ood i n m y vei n s, an d sor e m u scl es A r ou n d m y f eet. M y ey es ar e su r r ou n d ed by bu r n i n g cr op ci r cl es A n d m y al i en m i n d tr i es to l eave a m essage t h at m y ear t h ly bod y can n ot d eci p h er . M y d r eam s ar e n ot as f er ti l e as th ey u sed t o be; W h en I l ay to r est, th e w ei gh t of m y f ear s l ay s above m e. I m ove br eath l essly, m y car bon m on ox i d e f ever p u l l s m e f r om u n d er t h e bed A n d I w atch l i f e p ass m e by f r om m y d ar k h i d eaw ay. A m i ssh ap en m e w al k s back an d f or t h , t h e bod y each d ay d ar ker ; T h e f i n ger s col d an d p u r p l e, aggl u t i n at i n g bl ood cel l s ar ou n d t h e n ai l s, U n abl e to catch an op p or tu n i ty or a f eel i n g, Gi v i n g i n to th e p ai n an d th e sor r ow of bei n g con t i n u al ly af r ai d . Take the reins, I h ear th em say. Bu t they d o n ot ex i st , A n d th e h or ses ar e w al k i n g al l over m e; m y h ead cou l d ex p l od e, a t an ger i n e, Stai n i n g th e str eets an d th e con cr et e w i t h aci d . M y sk i n bu r n s. I w an t to tel l oth er s t h at I ?m h u r t , T h at ex h au sti on h as m e on an abu si ve r el at i on sh i p w i t h i n som n i a A n d eati n g d i sor d er s A n d sel f - sacr i f i ce Bu t I Si l en ce m y sel f an d sm i l e an d com p ly an d bat h e i n good od ou r s Becau se d eath sm el l s f r om ben eat h m y ad i p ose t i ssu e; T h e bad br eath of ly i n g to m y sel f . I h i d e m y ti r ed n ess w i th f u l l sch ed u l es. A p acked l i st of d ecep ti on s th at sh ou l d be t aken Each m or n i n g, w i th w ater an d an em p t y st om ach . A n x i ety i s a jack al , gn ar l i n g ar ou n d t h e cor n er s A s I w aste m y ti m e w i th br eath i n g t ech n i qu es an d d ay d r eam s. I k n ow I sh ou l d be d oi n g th i n gs, I k n ow I sh ou l d ti e m y sh i n s to th e ch ai r an d p r od u ce, Con stan tly an d gl ad ly, Becau se th ey say i t i s w r on g to com p l ai n . M y f i n ger s jostl e m i l k l i ke th e f at t i t s of a cow A n d I h ave n o ti m e to m ou r n i t, n or t h e en er gy To su f f er f or an y th i n g. N ot even f or m e. 30

A r tw or k : M i ch el l e Sp i zi r i 31

O d e: I n t i m at i o n s o f W h at O u r So u l s H av e Seen f r o m Reco l l ect i o n s o f Ear l y B ei n gh o o d Er i k a Rasm u ssen I sen se I am an ci en t an d sear ch f or m y sp i r i t i n t h e d en ts of m y sp i n e, th e r i d ge of bon e at base of n eck th e scoop of h ai r cu r l i n g i n t o i t sel f I i m agi n e t h at m y l u n gs ar e a w i d e sw eep of ocean ti d i n g i n an d ou t of m e an d m y p r eh i st or i c l ay er i n g of vessel s I h ol d sp ace f or t h e w i sd om betw een m y t oes th e et er n al r ef r act ed i n ten f i n ger s h ol d i n g th e sk y an d qu i et ly m y age com es l i ke t h e r ol l of a sh el l p r essed t o ear th e sou n d of t w o bl ack h ol es col l i d i n g I sen se I am a st ep f r om i s an d w as an d i s t o com e an d I su r r en d er w et m ou t h h oar d i n g th e w aves

A r tw or k : A n d r ea L ew i ck i 33

A r t w or k : M at t Gol d

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ey es, n ot h or n s ? an d I l ook at h er ? ey es,

w et sk i n - l i ke m etal . I n si d e th e ai r boi l s as

n ot h or n s. H er sk i n gl ow s of p or cel ai n

i n a m i cr ow ave oven , bu t at l east th er e?s

an d m i l k , r ed d i sh ch eek s, sm al l l i p s; t w o

si l en ce. N o p l ace to si t; n ot on th e l u m p y

ey es t h at gat h er an em p t i n ess d eep er t h an

v i scer a f l oor s n or on th e car ti l age gr ow t h

t h e su bw ay t u n n el s. I can f eel h er gaze

n ear th e w ou n d ed d oor s.

p i er ci n g

ch est

an d

gr abbi n g

skel et on by t h e r i bs, sh ak i n g. T h at gaze, I

T h e w or m br eath s h eav i ly as th e w ou n d s

can p i ct u r e i t . 35

T h i s gi r l cou l d gi ve m e h er af f ecti on , a

l ear n ed t h e ar t of sl eep i n g on m y f eet , of

h om e, ch i l d r en ; su m m er af ter n oon s w h en

v i br at i n g w i t h t h e beast w i t h ou t f al l i n g

i t ?s t oo h ot to m ove, sh i r ts an d sh or ts ou t

over . O n ly t h en t h e god sh ow s h i m sel f .

t o d r y an d p op si cl es i n th e f r i d ge; tak i n g t h e boy to p i an o l esson s an d th e gi r l t o soccer

cl asses

an d

th ey ?r e

beau ti f u l

ch i l d r en w i th on ly a h i n t of h or n s an d bi g ey es; a l ot of h ap p y m om en ts an d ju st a si n gl e, si n gl e stab of p ai n i n m y w r i n k l ed h ear t w h en I car r y h er cof f i n on m y sh ou l d er . I can f eel al l th i s i n a sp l i t secon d an d I ?d l i ke t o say som eth i n g, so I op en m y l i p s bu t

T h e w ou n d - d oor op en s on e l ast t i m e, an d f or a m om en t t h e jagged ed ges of t h e f i ssu r e l ook agai n l i ke a n or m al sl i d i n g d oor . A l l ar ou n d m e, gu t s an d bon es t u r n i n t o w or n seat s, car t i l age i n t o m et al p ol es. Ex h au st ed an d d ef eat ed , I bow m y h ead t o t h e god of t r ai n s. N o w ay t o t el l i f I ?ve d on e i t cor r ect ly. ?I ?ve seen y ou t r avel i n g,? h e say s, ?f or m ost of t h e d ay. W i t h ou t ai m .?

t h e on ly sou n d escap i n g m y th r oat i s t h e l ow r u m bl i n g of th e tr ai n - w or m . N oth i n g h ap p en s an d w or d s d on ?t com e. B ecau se I ?m a d em on an d a w ester n er an d bot h , an d h er l an gu age d oesn ?t bel on g to m e,

?I t ?s t r u e.? I con f ess. ?I ?m a st r an ger i n t h i s cou n t r y, an d y ou ?r e t h e god t h at con n ect s ever y t h i n g; t h e god t h at w eaves t h i n gs t oget h er an d i s ever y w h er e.?

an d tr u th to be tol d sh e d oesn ?t ei th er .

H e n od s w i t h t h e sou n d of t en t h ou san d

Sh am e an d d esi r e ar e n ai l s th at si n k d eep

ven d i n g m ach i n es p r i n t i n g t i cket s.

i n m y ey el i d s, p u l l i n g d ow n m y f ace u n t i l

?You ?r e

I ?m star i n g at th e f l oor .

f or ei gn er . W h at d o y ou w i sh f r om m e,

I d on ?t say a th i n g an d sh e step s of f t h i s

d em on ??

w or m , an d th at?s th e sacr i f i ce I ?ve m ad e t o

?I ju st w an t t o f i n d m y sel f .?

r i gh t

on e

t h i n g: y ou ?r e

t h e god of tr ai n s. T h at f u tu r e w i th h er d i es, san ct i f i ed an d em bal m ed , an d I th an k t h e god s f or th i s; si n ce I h ave ex p er i en ced p er f ecti on . I n a si n gl e m om en t, I h ad ever y th i n g, i f on ly i n m y m i n d . A p i ct u r e t h at cou l d n ?t be, an d th u s can ?t be stai n ed . I ?m at th e en d of th e l i n e. T h e w or m sl ow s d ow n , becom es d oci l e an d l i gh ter . I ?ve

?I can ?t d o t h at f or y ou .? h e an sw er s. ?You can ?t f i n d w h at y ou h aven ?t l et go of , i n t h e sam e w ay y ou n eed t o u n d er st an d l oss bef or e k n ow i n g gai n .? T h i s h e say s an d v an i sh es. I n a m i n u t e t h e t r ai n st ar t s agai n , an d i t ?s agai n a w or m , an d I ?m agai n a ver m i n .

A r tw or k : H en r y L . Jon es 36

W h i t e Pr i v i l ege Rabi a A sh r af Ad or n ed w i th m eh n d i on m y ar m s an d k ajal i n m y ey es, i n m y sh alw ar k am eez, I d u ck an d I h i d e as th e boy s p oi n t an d m ock , scr eam i n g w or d s l i ke ?Cu r r y h ead ? an d ?ter r or i st? h u r l i n g th em tow ar d s m e l i ke th ose m i ssi l es i n I r aq t ar geti n g an y sk i n col or n ot l abel ed W h i te T h e bi n d h i on m y f or eh ead gl i sten s i n t h e su n t h e w ay th ose p ear l s d o on th e h an d s of t h e bl on d e- h ai r ed bl u e- ey ed w om en , an d I w on d er i f th ey, too, ar e r ew ar d ed w i th w ei r d l ook s an d d i sgr u n tl ed star es as t h ey t r y t o st ay al i ve an d n ot be d evou r ed by th e an i m al s w e cal l h u m an s. ?Exoti c? i s w h at th ey scr eam at m e as I w al k p ast t h em w i th m y cu r ly h ai r an d ol i ve sk i n - ton e; m y l eh en ga tw i n k l es w i th ever y step , ad d i n g to th e ap p l au se of th e h ou n d d ogs w h o l azi ly ey e m e over t h e w ay a h u n ter w ou l d i t s p r ey. W i th a d om i n eer i n g w h i stl e, an d sl eazy catcal l t h ey m ake th ei r w ay over , an d I w on d er i f th at?s h ow th e bukras f eel r i gh t bef or e th ey ?r e sl au gh ter ed ever y Ei d .

Ad or n ed w i th m eh n d i on th ei r ar m s an d k ajal i n th ei r ey es, t h ey sm i l e an d w i n k i n th ei r tan k top s an d bi ker sh or ts as th e w or l d ch eer s th em on , br an d i n g t h em w i th com p l i m en ts l i ke, ?beau ti f u l ? an d ?so or i gi n al ? as th ey steal f r om a cu l tu r e th at i sn ?t t h ei r s to begi n w i th , on e th at?s sol e p u r p ose i s to be th e w or l d ?s t ar get p r acti ce T h e bi n d h i on th ei r f or eh ead gl i sten s i n t h e su n m u ch l i ke m i n e u sed to bef or e th e n am e- cal l i n g an d al l th e st ar es. A s t h ey si p t h ei r ch ai t ea an d eat t h ei r n aan br ead w i th tal k s of tr avel i n g to p l aces l i ke Pak i stan , A f gh an i stan , an d I n d i a, I sn or t an d I l au gh at th ei r r ed h ats an d p r i n t ed sh i r t s t h at i n bol d bl ack l etter s say ?M ake A m er i ca Gr eat A gai n ?.

A r tw or k : K ar ah T u l l

H er e T i n a H u d ak

I T h er e i s n o f ai r n ess w i th l i f e an d d eat h , on ly i ts i m p er son al su r ges an d sl u m p s. Som eti m es, n o of ti m es, m i d d l e gr ou n d sw el l s. II T h e m ajesti c tr ees k n ow n oth i n g of t h i s. U p w ar d s th ey cl i m b. T h ey k n ow n oth i n g of ju sti ce. T h ey seek t h i s al on e t o k i ss t h e cl ou d s.

A r t w or k : M i ch ael M ar sch n er 40

O M oon blood K . Ri l ey alw ay s r u n n i n g r aw d ow n - str eam I ?ll n ever f or get h ow su n - r ay s d i p p ed bel ow str i p - cen ter r oof s an d y ou ap p ear ed beh i n d th e d u m p ster w h er e I l ai d m y car d boar d - box r i p p ed ben eath m y bod y h ow m y cal l ou sed bar e- f eet h u n g of f th e ed ge scr ap i n g cr acked con cr ete h ow m y tan gl ed h ai r stu ck t o m y r ed sk i n h ow m y f r eck l ed ar m s tw i sted to th e sk y m y p al m s u p p r ay i n g f or r ai n to w ash y ou r cu r r en t ou t of m e r u sh i t on to th e str eets st ai n i n g th e si d ew al k bu bbl i n g cu r bsi d e i n to th e sew er h ow m y back p ack p i l l ow ed u n d er n eath m y h ead h el d n oth i n g bu t m y m i n d m el t i n g i n t h e su m m er n i gh t r em em ber h ow y ou gr eeted m e w i t h a p u n ch i n t h e gu t as a m on th ly p r ecu r sor of th e f i ve- d ay f or ecast

A r tw or k : M ar l an a Ad el e Vassar

f or t h e h eatw ave bet w een m y l egs p l ease r em em ber ou r str eetl i gh t- r i tu al r em em ber h ow I m ad e sacr ed a m ess I cou l d n ot cl ean a ti d e I cou l d n ot tam e a w ou n d I cou l d n ot h eal bap ti zed i n y ou M oon bl ood n o on e bu t y ou t o w i tn ess m y sacr i f i ce

Cold! The following three pieces are the winners of our cold-themed 250-word creative writing challenge!

A r tw or k : Gr eg Cl ar y

H y p o t h er m i a A zu r e A r t h er

Cal l m e n oth i n g. A bl an k sl ate, a y aw n i n g m ou t h , a p at ch of sk i n , str etch ed acr oss th e sh eets w h en y ou w ake. I cou l d be y ou r m or n i n g, ju st as y ou ar e a p i t i n m y stom ach . N ecessar y h u n ger , bu t em p ty. So, I w i l l coast on y ou r essen ce, sw al l ow y ou r d eter m i n ed si l en ce, i n ebr i ate on y ou r col d n ess, an d sti l l n am e y ou joy f or ever y t h i n g I h ave gi ven . A n d w h en w e ar e d on e, I w i l l be sol i tar y excel l en ce. A ban d on ed . Beau ti f u l . Ru sted . L ov i n g y ou i s eati n g su n sh i n e- i n f u sed gl ass, n aked , on a p ar k ben ch i n Jan u ar y

A r tw or k : D y l an A l ber tson

an d l i k i n g i t.

Gr i ef N egl ect s Ren ĂŠe Cah i l l

11p m col d steam ed vegetabl es, f i ve n i gh t s a w eek n estl ed i n p l asti c con t ai n er , eat en by h an d . Sat cr oss- l egged on m y bed r oom f l oor u n vacu u m ed car p et. Rel en tl ess h eat er w ar m th alw ay s d i ssi p ated , gr i ef n egl ects l i ke l i f e d oes d eath . I m i gh t ?ve sat at th e k i tch en tabl e, sh ou l d er v acan t ch ai r s i m p ossi bly jeal ou s, th ei r occu p an t ?s asl eep obl i v i on sw eet, ou t god k n ow s w h er e, L on d on , or d ead m y m oth er col d , ju st ash es? a bet t er p l ace? Su r ely I m i gh t h ave p r ocu r ed a p l at e, a f or k . Ch an ged f r om d i r ty bl ack jean s to cl ean p y jam as. Cot t on sy m p ath y, m i gh t h ave n ot h ad l u kew ar m veget abl es at al l , m i gh t h ave h ad r i ch r ed p ast a. Fed m y d u l l ed m i n d , f u el to keep m ov i n g f or t h h ad I w an t ed an y th i n g oth er th an stagn ati on m i st aken f or p eace, sl ou ch ed l on el i n ess f or u p r i gh t sol i t u d e. I m i gh t h ave h eated a p an i f I tr u sted m y sel f t o n ot bu r n , so si ck of w ear i n g d am age, I ate col d st eam ed veget abl es on th e f l oor . Ju st tr y i n g to keep t h e bod y w ar m .

B u s St o p i n M o r n i n g Taly a Jan kov i ts

Bl u e l i p s f r osted l i ke gi n ger br ead , sh i ver , qu i ver - sp l i t cr acked l i ke si d ew al k s. O val p u r sed an d m ak i n g st eam

l i ke d r agon s t h at

evap or ate on l on g sn ak y p ath s u p t o y el l ow l eaves, sp ar se an d d an ci n g on br an ch es th at w ou l d l i ck an d cr ack i n f i r e. Fr ost set t l es on r ed m ap l es, ear ly an d sp ar k l i n g l i ke r u bi es. So st i f f a l eaf cou l d f al l h eav y t o sol i d d i r t, n ever to catch a r i d e on a br eeze t h at cr eep s ben eat h f eat h er d ow n to ti ck l e bon es an d cover sk i n i n d ash es of sp eck l ed f l esh t h at r ead l i ke br ai l . Sh eets of n ew sp ap er , cof f ee st ai n ed St y r of oam cu p s an d w or n p l asti c bags r ol l p ast booted f eet l i ke a p ar ad e, cat ch i n a cor n er of gr af f i ti ed sh el ter , a h u d d l ed m ass agai n st st ai n ed gl ass t h at r u n s w i t h con d en sati on . T h e sm el l of gasol i n e w ar m s w et n ost r i l s, bu r n s t h r oat s, r ead i es w ai ti n g bod i es. T i r es h al t, scr eech i n g, r el easi n g. A si gh of ar r i v al as d oor s p ar t op en sen d i n g a r u n n i n g, r u sh i n g bat t l e of con t ai n ed h eat stor m i n g l i ke ar m ed sol d i er s ou t t o cl ash w i t h col d . A col l ect i on of ch i l l ed or n am en ts seated , tr an sp or t ed t o w h er ever m or n i n g t akes t h em .

A r t w or k : A n d r ea L ew i ck i

WRITERS J.T. Nash is an English Teacher living in NYC. Kirini O.K. is a visual artist, writer, and musician. She was educated in the United Kingdom and currently lives and works in New York City. Her artwork has been featured on album covers, in print, online, and in gallery shows. Alex Mepham is a PhD student investigating how background noise impacts speech understanding. On the side, Alex writes both poetry and short prose. Alex currently lives in York, UK. Find Alex at amepham.carrd.co Matthew Green is a twenty-two year old writer from the northern suburbs of Brisbane, Australia. Molly Dickin is a writer that uses a direct voice, and has a personal philosophy that her art is successful when it stimulates thoughtful reflection in her audience. Mollyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s greatest source of pride as a writer is her ability to put words fearlessly and unapologetically onto paper. J. Heimberger is a Baltimore bred, Brooklyn based nurse and aspiring poet. Her work can be found online across several small literary journals. Originally from Birmingham, AL, Alexander Perry now resides in Tacoma, WA. He had two poems published in the Deronda Review in 2007, and earlier this year published a short story in the Tacoma online literary magazine, Creative Colloquy. He is currently in the Rainier Writing Workshop, where he focuses on fiction. Ciara Totton is a poet based in Auckland, New Zealand. An explorer at heart, she left her hometown in the U.S and discovered her passion for poetry in the mountains of South Korea where she lived and worked for three years. Erin Courville is a student from Vermont, studying Biology and English at Williams College. She has worked as a poetry and fiction editor on multiple literary magazines, including "Parlor Tricks" at Williams College and "The Isis Magazine" at Oxford University, and her first published poem since high school appears in Beyond Words Literary Magazine's September 2020 issue. Erin is beginning her final year at Williams in the fall and intends to pursue an MD-PhD after graduation. Tucker Wulff is a writer and poet from Fort Collins, Colorado, United States. Tucker graduated from Appalachian State University in December of 2020 with a degree in English - Creative Writing. Tucker strives to pull emotion from his readers by providing a unique perspective on the world around us. Gerard Bianco is an award-winning author and playwright. He holds an MFA in Writing. He teaches writing and lives in Maine, USA. Eric Fisher Stone is a poet from Fort Worth, Texas USA. He received his MFA in writing and the environment from Iowa State University. He has one full length poetry collection published by Chatter House Press and a second forthcoming with WordTech Editions. Finn Anderson is an English Tutor living in San Francisco, CA. He is 28 years old. When he's not reading or writing, he's skateboarding. Kathleen Larkin studied Latin and Greek at Brown University and tries to focus her poetry into exploring womanhood with certain Classical influences. She now is in law school at the University of Chicago. A Pushcart and Best of the Net-nominee, Elaine Nadal is the author of When and Sweat, Dance, Sing, Cut, published by Finishing Line Press. Her work has appeared in several journals, including Haunted Waters Press, Hoot Review, Grasslimb, and Latino Book Review Magazine. Eileen Brill is a sign language interpreter, writer and artist who tries to connect with people through our common emotions as human beings. She used to jokingly call herself "Zelig', after the title character in Woody Allen's 1983 film about a man whose desire to be liked was so strong that he morphed into various people he met. These days, sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s moving more toward feeling that it's none of her business what you think of her.

Tom Bailey is a poet from London. He completed a Poetry MFA at Boston University in 2020, and is currently living in the south of Spain. His poems have been published in The Mays Anthology, The Kindling, Lighthouse Literary Journal, Hawk & Whippoorwill, Bind, and The Cambridge Student. He roundly dislikes his own poems. Giulia de Gregorio Listo is a poet from São Paulo, Brazil. Her work has been featured in worldwide publications such as The Ibis Head Review, The Junction, Literally Literary and others. In 2019, Listo debuted her collection "Longing". Erika Rasmussen was born and grown in Colorado. Her growth continued at Santa Clara University, where she graduated in the spring of 2020 with degrees in English and sociology. She served as the poetry editor of Santa Clara Review 2018-2020, and for the next year will work as an O'Hare Fellow with America Media. M. Maponi is a 27 years old wannabe author. Like a cheap parody of a superhero, he works in the IT field at day and writes at night. Rabia Ashraf is a Pakistani-American Muslim who hopes to use her pen and paper as a weapon to fight hate and confront controversial issues in society. As a writer, she hopes to be the voice for the voiceless and dreams of inspiring young readers similar to the way her role models influenced her. Tina Hudak is a wife, mother, artist, and librarian living and working in the Washington, D.C. Metro area. As an artist rooted in the art of calligraphy, letters, words, and reading are central to her life as are the people she loves. K. Riley is from Houston, Texas. They studied creative writing and literature at Stephen F. Austin State University. Their works can be found on Matthew Lippman's website LOVE'S EXECUTIVE ORDER and in SFA's literary magazine, HUMID. Azure Arther is a college professor in Dallas, TX. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in Burningword Literary Journal, Aurealis, The Chaffey Review, Miracle Monocle and others. She has several obsessions, mainly good literature, both reading and writing it, teaching in Converse, and enjoying her time with her family. Renée Cahill is a Melbourne based writer, currently studying an Associate Degree in Professional Writing and Editing at RMIT. Talya Jankovits’ work has appeared in a number of literary journals. Her short story “Undone” in Lunch Ticket was nominated for the 2013 Pushcart prize and her poem, A Woman of Valor, is featured in the 2019/2020 Eshet Hayil exhibit at Hebrew Union College Los Angeles. She holds her MFA in Creative Writing from Antioch University and resides in Chicago with her husband and four daughters.

VISUAL ARTISTS Cover art: El artista y la modelo by Luis Fores. Luis, born 1960 in Spain, is a poet, plastic artist and anthropologist of the arts. He has done projects involving painting, sculpting, photography and performance. His artwork Realidad y ficciĂłn is also included in this issue of Beyond Words. Jess Richards, A Crumpled Tale II (short story on tissue paper). Jess is the author of three literary fiction novels: Snake Ropes, Cooking with Bones and City of Circles (publisher: Sceptre, UK). She also writes poems, short fiction, and personal essays. Her visual artworks combine artistic practice and fiction writing. Therese Livonne, The Masks We Wear No. 1; Anxiety. Therese was born 1980 in Sweden and is based there. Her work explores the human condition where she confronts personal experiences of mental health, trauma and memories. She often combines different mediums such as painting, drawing and fiber. Mari Honma, A woman who avoids the rain; A teenager. Mari is a Japanese mother living and working in the UK. She begun experimenting as a self-taught painter in her teens and also put on VJ shows in Tokyo whilst studying as a University student. Overcoming challenges in life, she started releasing her works again in October 2020. Andrea Lewicki, Arm in Arm and Eyes and Eyes; Showered and Blue Blazered; Dreaming of Pigeons; You Were There and So Was I; So Many Times Before. Andrea is an award-winning abstract artist. Largely self-taught and insulated from traditional art for most of her life, her studio practice involves more tools found in a hardware store than artist brushes. Paula DeStefanis, Robertsbridge. Paula works by doing a series of paintings with the same concept running through each piece. This allows her to explore approaches in the work. She uses repetition and layering to symbolize time, duration and change. As the artist making the work, the unpredictability and potential sense of discovery is very exciting and one of the main reasons why she does what she does. Ruth Andrews, Verduous. Ruth is an artist living and working in Michiana. Her murals may be seen in Cassopolis and Dowagiac, Michigan. Shuqi Gao, Contraction; Compatibility; Worldly Abundance . Shuqi is an artist from Brooklyn, New York. She graduated and received an MFA Publishing Fellowship for AMP: Always Electric at Hofstra University. Her poetry has appeared in Plume and AMP: Always Electric. Her art focuses on psychology, spirituality and current issues. Tania L. Betancourt, Ain't Worth Sh*t (2019). Tania is a Brooklyn, New York native. After serving in the military, she now struggles with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and has taken to writing and painting as a means of coping. Tania shares her work in an effort to provide comfort to others who may go through similar emotions. Karu Shao, The Iceberg. Karu is a contemporary artist with diverse culture background. Born in China, live in Japan, studied in Switzerland, Canada, and USA. She loves culture and traditions. She is enthusiastic about contemporary human life changes and she uses her extraordinary color and composition senses to express them out. Paul Kramer Waters, Movement. Paul works in a variety of media including screen-printing, digital printmaking, public art installations, mixed media collage, found-object assemblage, and mosaic. These are quick (about an hour) collages with various sets of self-imposed rules such as using only tissue paper and stamps, using song lyrics as prompts, not using any representational imagery, and even adding small found objects fastened to the paper. Paul and his wife Kathryn remodeled their Portland home last year to create a collaborative artistâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s room-share, providing rooms and studio space for three artists. Nichola Bendall, Gilead. Nicola is a mixed media artist and writer who makes poetical objects using old books, found text and antique objects as a starting point for her work, which is thought provoking and strangely haunting, often reconnecting with childhood iconography and memories. Michelle Spiziri, See my face. Michelle is a Baltimore, Maryland area-based artist. She is mainly a painter who uses a mix of different mediums. Michelle creates art work that excites, evokes, and challenges the viewer. Many times she is struck by an impromptu phrase or word that excites an idea

for a new painting. Time in the studio is dedicated to contemplation, researching, and pushing the limits of visual expression. Matt Gold, #127. Matt is based in Brooklyn, NY, where he divides his time between music and photography. As evidence of the democratizing nature of his approach to photography, Gold has no formal training in the visual arts. His first image, a picture of his cat on a Sony Ericsson Z310A flip phone, was taken in 2008, and he has continued to explore the aesthetic possibilities of that instrument. Goldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s work has been featured in numerous publications and journals. Henry L. Jones, We Swim in Healing Pools. Henry is an award-winning African American artist and writer inspired by forces which shape society. A 2019-2020 Art Wire Fellow of the Porch Writers Collective and OZ Arts Nashville Center, Jones reaches deeply into moments to write and paint about many subjects. His artwork, which was created by his Gib technique, has hung in museums, galleries, universities in the United States and abroad and found in public and private collections. Karah Tull, Amplify. Karah is a native of Oak Ridge, TN, and has always loved creating art. She was a recipient of the Gold Key Scholastic Art Award in 1998. She attended the University of Tennessee where she received her Master of Arts in Education. Michael Marschner, Premonitions. Michael is an amateur photographer who lives in Southern California. His work is an attempt at visualizing the quantum within the familiar. Marlana Adele Vassar, Saturn Awakens. Marlana is a visual artist living and working in Pittsburgh, PA. She primarily focuses on symbolism and surrealism in her art, and features sumptuous figures in lush environments. She loves to create images with rich visual stories that celebrate a balance between style and substance. Greg Clary, TV and Chair. Greg is a retired college professor who grew up in Turkey Creek, West Virginia. He likes being around people who can ease into a conversation without taking it over, dark hollers, and 3 fingers of Jameson over 1 cube of ice. Dylan Albertson, Sound and Vision. Dylan is a visual and performance artist based out of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, whose works explore topics of identity, queerness, capitalism and technology, frequently set to a backdrop of science fiction. They have been drafting pieces about these topics in particular since 2016. Their visual art exists in traditional mediums and new media, and their performance work ranges from aerial arts to drag. Through their work, be it illustrative or performative, they seek to analyze the human condition, both on an interpersonal and introspective level. Jeanie DeCandia is a Traveling Artist gaining insight, knowledge and creativity wherever she may land. Poems, stories, photography, paintings are how she tells her stories in this remarkable life.

Contents 0 1 L i sti n g J.T . N ash 0 2 L ad y K i r i n i O .K . 0 4 I t al l gr ey s A l ex M ep h am 0 6 K i tch en Tabl e M atth ew Gr een 0 7 Taf f y M ol ly D i ck i n 0 8 J. H ei m ber ger W h i te Fl ag 0 9 V i n es A l ex an d er Per r y 10 T h e U l tr asou n d Ci ar a Totton 12 T h e Essen ce of U s Er i n Cou r v i l l e 13 I M i ssed I t W h en th e I n ter n ati on al Sp ace St at i on Fl ew O ver h ead T u cker W u l f f 14 A bou t Su san Ger ar d B i an co 16 W or m Sav i or s Er i c Fi sh er Ston e 18 D y sp h or i a Exoci ted ae Fi n n A n d er son 20 Ton i gh t's W or r i es K ath l een L ar k i n 22 M or e El ai n e N ad al 25 Ch r i stm as A n gel Ei l een B r i l l 29 Su m m ar y of T h eol ogy Tom B ai l ey 30 O ver d on e Gi u l i a d e Gr egor i o L i sto 32 O d e: I n ti m ati on s of W h at O u r Sou l s H ave Seen f r om Recol l ect i on s... Er i k a Rasm u ssen 35 T h e W ester n D em on M . M ap on i 38 W h i te Pr i v i l ege Rabi a A sh r af 40 H er e T i n a H u d ak 42 O M oon bl ood K . Ri l ey 43 Col d ! Ch al l en ge i n cl u d i n g A zu r e A r t h er , Ren Ã©e Cah i l l an d Taly a Jan kov i t s

Beyond Words I nternational Literary M agazine