6 minute read
Patriotic Salute
Grandparents and family members raising a grandchild or loved one are often negatively stigmatized by society. There are those who feel the situation is a result of poor parenting; a lack of discipline or lack of structure, etc. This is blatantly false. Most of these grandparents have multiple children; the majority of whom are productive, grounded citizens.
According to the Annie E. Casey Foundation (www.aecf.org), particularly grandparents raising grandchildren is escalating. Nearly 90,000 children in the State of Oklahoma are being raised by grandparents. That number does not include the many informal kinship arrangements that are not reported. That number according to our Oklahoma Department of Health officials is closer to 150,000 statewide. Nationwide 2.7 million grandparents are raising their grandchildren. This is a serious crisis in our state.
By Lisa Sydnor
Love
Conquers ALL
When you are faced with extremely complicated circumstances the welfare of the child(ren) is paramount. You must set aside your feelings, your hopes, your dreams, your plans, and your loss of relationships; to focus on your child and grandchildren. As the parent/grandparent you suffer through the five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.
You grieve for all you lose: your child, your freedom, your plans, and for many the possibility of retirement.
That is a part of the story of Lamont and Leela Baker, founders of Nana’s Closet; a “normal” family: mom, dad, and three lovely, active, productive daughters. In the fall of 2013, that all changed with a call from the high school saying one of their daughters had overdosed in the parking lot and was not expected to live. Panic, denial, hysteria, and terror all describe those first hours. Paralyzing fear gripped Leela Baker’s heart and mind. Making phone calls, leaving work, driving to the hospital, and beating the ambulance to the hospital, all happened in the vacuum of a blurred, dark tunnel. This simply could not be happening to their beloved child.
The situation spiraled out of control, resulting in a pregnancy, their daughter living on the streets, marriage to her presumed dealer boyfriend, and the birth of a lovely, perfect little girl who was addicted to drugs. Evelyn Drew Baker was in NICU for 17 days undergoing detoxification. This fragile little one suffered and survived withdrawal from drugs.
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Leela and Lamont formally adopted Evelyn who turned 5 years old in June 2022. Life is a series of ups and downs, good, bad, and terrible days. They credit their faith and trust in God; belief in each other and hard work for strengthening their marriage.
Leela was pondering their situation, trying to come to terms with all that had transpired over the past six years when she felt led by God to form an organization that would help grandparents as they faced so many difficult decisions. She did not want to leave her professional career. She loved her job and was very well-respected in the neurological ophthalmology field. Long conversations with Lamont and her boss who recommended she consult her pastor left her indecisive. Paul Cunningham, Head Pastor of Westmoore Community Church advised Leela to follow her heart, saying,
“God makes your mess your ministry.”
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Since 2018, Nana’s Closet has been the ministry of the Baker family. It has grown from a spare bedroom to two bedrooms to a garage to a miracle involving many entities in the community. One partnership is with Morning Star Storage which has provided storage units at no charge. Another blessing is through Putnam City United Methodist Church which provided an area for families to “shop” in a boutique-like setting. Leela stated, “It is important for the kids to have some control in an uncontrollable situation.”
The monumental task of sorting, cleaning, separating, and labeling all the donations is labor intensive. These are tasks done with love. Watching the grandparents and children select clothing and seeing the tears of gratitude and joy makes it all worthwhile.
You rarely see Leela without Evelyn tagging along. With her contagious smile, you are greeted by the happy five years old; “Hi, my name is Evelyn Drew Baker. It’s nice to meet you.”
If you are a grandparent or family-raising a family member or members go online for an application for assistance. If you would like to donate your time or resources, contact Leela Baker via office phone at 405-735-7022 or email at nanasclosetokc@yahoo.com. Visit the website at www.nanasclosetokc.org to find out more about this heartfelt needed organization and how you can get involved.
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