Grief’s Journey: From Disbelief to Remembering

by Expert Contributor Robert L. D’Anjolell, Jr., F.D., of DANJOLELL Memorial Homes

How an individual deals with grief is as unique and diverse as they are. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. There are, however, unhealthy and healthy ways to navigate through this emotional battleground so that instead of sadly reminiscing about your loved one’s final days, grief can bring you to a celebration of wonderful memories.

Right after a painful loss, it often feels monumental to think about the memories, happy or sad. It’s important to pace yourself and remember that you are on no one’s timetable but your own. While grief can be debilitating if left undealt with or put on the back burner until a “better” time, you can go as fast or as slow as you need to, for self-preservation.

Sometimes the thought of getting through another day seems insurmountable, so don’t look at dealing with an entire day.

Take whatever time increment seems doable to you at that point. Let’s say you decide that you can handle getting through the morning, just the morning. Beyond that, don’t even worry about what you have to deal with. Still, there will be times when dealing with the morning seems too big. So think about getting through the next hour or the next minute, or sometimes just getting through the next few seconds is all you can manage. That’s ok. This is your journey and you choose the parameters.

Once you’re able to handle things for whatever period of time you set, teach yourself to correct your own thought process. It’s actually easier than you might think. The next time you feel yourself spiraling down the deep, dark hole of loss, stop yourself. Whatever thought was making you sad, replace it with a happy memory. What are some of the fondest memories you have of your loved one? What did they do that always made you laugh? What enjoyable special events, vacations or holidays stand out in your mind? Sometimes, once you get started recalling happier memories, you’ll find it hard to stop, and that’s ok too.

You’ve been through a life-altering loss. Now make sure the way it alters your life is more like a celebration of a wonderful human being you knew and loved.

Expert Contributor Robert L. D’Anjolell, Jr., F.D., of DANJOLELL Memorial Homes

DANJOLELL MEMORIAL HOMES AND CREMATORY

www.DANJOLELL.com

We offer many ways to help you honor the life of a loved one:

Flower Selection • Candlelight Ceremony • Butterfl y Releases • Memory Tables • Bookmarks with Seeds Dove Release • Picture Boards • Remembrance Jewelry • Online Remembrance • And more

DANJOLELL Memorial Home of Broomall

610-356-4200

2811 West Chester Pike, Broomall

DANJOLELL Stigale Memorial Home & Cremation Services, Inc. of Aston

610-497-5505

3260 Concord Road, Aston

DANJOLELL Memorial Home & Crematory of Malvern-Frazer

610-296-9555

392 Lancaster Avenue, Frazer

DANJOLELL Barone Memorial Home of Wallingford

610-874-7700

908 S. Providence Road Wallingford