The Un-Holy Bible (B.C. edition)

Page 364

VOLUIANAS: "My liege, may I present Veronica, whom is your loyal servant from the eastern province, whose highest wish was to show you herself this likeness of that physician whom you sent me to procure. I believe, sir, you should see this as it might do you some good."

Veronica, Volusianus and Tiberius couselled together, in a triumverate, out of ear-shot, for only a moment. Eventually, Tiberius looked up at Pilate, and then gestured for Veronica and her newlywed groom, Volusianus, to exit the promenade. He next gestured for two legionairies to rip the seamless coat off Pilate, and then, as Tiberius approached Pilate, the emperor was calmed slightly, such that his logical faculties returned to him, and his furious anger settled into malicious suspicion. While the legionairies dressed down and deloused prelate Pontius Pilate in the presence of his emperor and ultimate idol, the court of clerks duly noted that: SCRIBAL COLOPHON: "Veronica, wife of Tiberius Caesar's envoy to the eastern-province, Volusianus, reported to his imperial majesty the seamless coat of prelate Pontius Pilate of Judea in the eastern-province, had originally belonged to the Yeshuah who was to be Caesar's subject at both Pilate and Veronica's independent hearings today."

: CAESAR'S INTERROGATION OF PONTIUS PILATE, DAY 1 : CAESAR: "Pilate, you pig-runt. Why have you chosen the lesser portion of valour? Were you blind to what all the rest of us saw? Because your personal fortunes have favoured an unjust choice, the entirity of reality is now closer to the brink of the Abyss." PILATE: "Please my omnipotent emperor, it is not within me to have known! It was their so-called 'Multitude:' their Tri-umverate's third, public post. It had been usurped by those loyal to a certain priest and his eldest son." CAESAR: "Who were they?" PILATE: "Later I learned, they were Herod Agrippa I posing as Caiphas and prince Agrippa II posing as Annas. And with them all of their national comrades." CAESAR: "Why did you first listen to, and next choose to obey, their treason?" PILATE: "The indegenous inhabitants of the region are more often prone to sudden violence than not. They do not value the day-to-day civil empire we take for granted. Above all they value mythology. Judea is to Rome what Prometheus was like to Jupiter. They have the myth there of a fallen angel who was rebellious against their God. In their own mythology, the whole nation in its origin has chosen to be accursed throughout all time. Such is the star over Jerusalem. If you do not subdue them, our entire empire will break into two! Unless you force them to, they will never bow to you, my omnipotent emperor, and instead there will be a revolution to overturn all Rome! Blame the guilty, I beg of you!" CAESAR: "When they brought him before you, you should have brought him before me. You should not have


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