Sexuality after a Baby
Julie Demers Holistic Pelvic Floor Therapist
Having a baby changed my relationship with almost everything. While I was happy to go back to eating sushi and being able to see my feet again. My body didn’t feel completely mine after birth! Even though I could follow step by step where my body was during pregnancy in books and apps, I was not prepared for what my body would go through after birth. From icepacks to pads to tears, to second-guessing what baby needs, to breast pads, to the difficulty to take time to pee…my life was far from what used to be normal. When I had a little bit of time to think about myself, I thought about getting my “body back”, after all, isn’t it what we read in magazines. That and “restoring our sex life”. Should I prepare a to-do list? Is that all part of being a super mom? Can you relate? I’ve been there…3 times! And I have helped hundreds of women reconnect to their bodies postpartum. It is a process, not everyone goes at the same rhythm, but everyone needs to find their new normal. Adaptation While everyone has different experiences in pregnancy, birth, motherhood, and relationship to sex, having to adapt to change is a reality for every woman after having a baby. It’s a new normal and there is no turning back. Your body is not responding the way it used to. It needs a little time to readapt. Just like when doing rehab for an ankle sprain. You can’t just go back and run when your mind feels ready! Your ankle needs to be ready too! Your mind and body need that attention during the postpartum period. Let’s just look at what might be different after giving birth: Tiredness Hormonal changes Less time for self-care (When a shower feels like self-care!) Not feeling in control of your body: Urine leaks Pressure “down there” after sitting or standing for a while Difficulty holding it until you are on the toilet Pain Milk leaks when breastfeeding Mood changes Worries about baby Worries about the needs of your partner
