FEBRUARY 2013
Feature:
The Stockstills
+
A couple who shares their secret to lasting love
Kid-Friendly Date Nights Out
some area restaurants that cater to you and your kids
Date Night In
table decor and recipes for a romantic night in
Publisher Brannen Mehaffey Editor-In-Chief Rebecca Guenther Contributors Lieve Saethers Stephanie Hodges Rebecca Guenther Christie Stockstill Adam Stockstill Hannah Ford Charlotte Sobeck Rudi Kruger Freddie’s Place Angel’s Waterloo Icehouse Verdes
ROCK YOUR BODY at our new
location!
3111 Manor Road
512 477.7653
brass-ovaries.com 2 | Bellina | February 2013
contents
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Date Night Out
Romantic Recipes
Massaging Your Partner
How can you have a date night out WITH the kids? Try Freddie’s Place, Angel’s, Verdes, or Waterloo Icehouse! They all have great food and playscapes for the youngsters
Maybe a restaurant for Valentines day is out. Here are some wonderful - and easy - recipes that you and your loved one can make to keep the romance alive
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The Stockstills
Abdominal Self-Massage
Here are some easy tips on how to massage your partner so that they feel comfortable and loved
25 Herbal Conception Tips
Difficulties conceiving can be daunting and make “making love” less fun and more a chore. Here These parents have been married for 10 years and Learn to love your belly! The benefits of are some herbal aphrodesiacs and remedies to 2 kids. How do they make it work? Commitment, abdominal self-massage go beyond helping your help spice up your love life hard work, and love circulation and blood-flow - taking the time to love yourself and treat yourself well can help you 26 18 be a happier person. Being a Single Father Our dad this month is a single father with a huge Date Night Table Design Our design expert Lieve Saether gives amazing heart - 100% of which belongs to his wonderful, tips to make your date night in a 4 star look happy, and very well-adjusted son February 2013 | Bellina | 3
date night out Y
ou and your partner need a night out on the town - who doesn’t now and then? But you can’t get a sitter, or maybe you don’t want to leave the kids at home but still need some grownup time. Here are our favotire Austin restaurants that have wonderful playscapes so the kids can go have fun with new and old friends while you and yours get to have a cocktail, some adult conversation, and a fantastic family-friendly date night out.
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Freddie’s Place It’s funny how your priorities change as you get older. When you’re single or a couple without children, trying out new places to eat or drink or to listen to live music is a simple task in Austin and a priority for most. When children enter the picture, those little pleasures can seem to go out the window if you let them. Finding a place where you can enjoy good food, some local live music but that also provides entertainment for energetic children who have no interest in sitting at a table can be a daunting task. The perfect place would be not so loud that you can’t hold a conversation but loud enough so that the screams of our children would not disturb the other patrons. It would have a playground for the kids. It would have enough area outside so that the customers without children can enjoy themselves without being disturbed by the rowdy kids playing. Impossible to find you say…not so…that perfect family place exists in Austin. It’s Freddie’s Place on South First Street. Freddie’s has a huge outside seating area that is nestled under a beautiful grove of giant oak trees along Bouldin Creek. On one side of the seating area there is large play area surrounded by tables. The stage for live music performances with a large open area in front is also on this side of the property. When the music isn’t playing, the kids take over the stage for a little playing of their own. The customers without kids can escape the mayhem in the seating area nearest the building. There is a washer pitching area as well as an outside ping pong table to enjoy. There is an inside/outside bar whose patrons are about as far from the kids as possible.
For those days when the weather is suffering from the too’s…too hot, too cold or too wet, Freddie’s inside dining room is the place to be with an inside stage for performances and a beautiful center of the room fireplace surrounded by a huge communal table. Freddie’s is open 7 days a week for breakfast, lunch & dinner and the food can best be described as American comfort food made from scratch with a side of whimsical. You will find your usual array of burgers, salads, entrees and kid chow and they’re all great and very reasonably priced. But where else can you find such things as The Frederonie, a 1/2 lb burger patty stuffed with pepperoni, mozzarella and pizza sauce or The Fredelvis, a burger with peanut butter, bacon & bananas with a side of honey. Among other things at breakfast you’ll find Eggs-in-a-Hole (remember when Mom made ‘em). And they also have a few quirky desserts such as the Fried PBJ or the Moon Pie Sundae. Freddie’s has a few Valentine’s Day specials lined up. There’s free S’mores for the kiddos. Free chocolate covered strawberries for the ladies. And deep discounts on Frozen Ritas and Tall Boys to help you enjoy the day while the kiddos run around. The band playing from 6-9 pm that day is “Justif” (a bit like a male/female version of “Simon & Garfunkel”) Isn’t Austin is a great place to live and raise a family. And, part of the reason is Freddie’s Place where a family can go and still enjoy all the things that make Austin so Austin. February 2013 | Bellina | 5
Angel’s If you’re looking for a great place for a date night that’s good for mom & dad as well as the kid’s, Angels Ice House is it! Angel’s has a great open air concept that’s nestled in the hill country just outside of Austin. It’s a true Texas family oriented bar & grill with everything you would need to entertain you, your kids and even the family dog. Angels staff is very friendly and quick to help accommodate any of your needs. The indoor seating is cozy with a fireplace and multiple T.V.’s to catch up on your favorite team or the day’s news. As well as outdoor picnic tables and a fenced in play area for the kids to burn off some extra energy. It is a very laid back casual atmosphere where you can feel comfortable and relaxed after a long day with no need to over dress for a night out with the family. The menu has plenty of items to please just about anyone’s palette. The burgers are some of the best Texas has to offer with plenty of optional “ad on’s” to build yours just the way you want it. If you’re looking for a lighter option the “Sara’s Salad” is a great choice with fresh mixed greens, oven roasted grape tomatoes, cucumbers, red onions, cran-raisins, Walnuts & blue cheese crumbles tossed in a
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house red wine vinaigrette. They have the kids covered too with plenty of options from chicken tenders to PB&J. They even offer a menu for the family pup & always have water bowls on hand to keep them wagging. Another reason to visit this hill country treasure is for the live music they offer throughout the entire year. You can catch some of Austin’s best up and coming talents here on several nights during the week. On the cooler nights they play inside for a more up close experience. And on our warm Texas evenings Angels has a great outdoor stage overlooking rolling hills with lights spread through the trees that creates an incredible ambiance. So if you’re looking for a fun relaxed night out with the entire family Angels is a great choice. From the always friendly staff to the authentic Texas feel they have you covered. So grab the kids, throw on a t-shirt and come see what Angels has to offer. Rest assured you won’t be let down by this incredible hill country family bar & grill.
Waterloo Icehouse It’s “date” night and at the last minute your babysitter had to cancel, leaving you and your spouse wondering how you’re going to pull off a romantic dinner for two when you have the kids in tow. At first you’re a little disappointed but then you realize those beautiful children are the symbol of your love and what better way to celebrate “date” night then with the entire family. You make the announcement that the whole family is going out and the kid’s scream with delight they know they are heading to their favorite place to eat and play; Waterloo Ice House on 360.
towards Emily’s Pan-Roasted Chicken; pan-roasted chicken breast served with mashed potatoes, bacon-braised green beans and Texas toast. When the food arrives the kids put an intense game of tag on hold but beg to finish it as they settle into their chairs and dig into their favorites; mini corndogs, chicken tenders and turkey meatloaf.
Once everyone finishes their meal, the begging commences to stay a few more minutes so the kids can finish their game of tag. You Waterloo Ice House is the perfect place to take the family for dinner. agree, it’s still early, you and your spouse can enjoy an after dinner While the kids play on the playscape you and your spouse share drink while watching the kids play as the sky turns to dusk. a few quiet moments sipping your favorite cocktail and reminisce about past “date” nights B.C. (before children). With the kids buckled into the backseat, they fall fast asleep – you and your spouse exchange a knowing glance and realize that dinner The toughest decision is what to order, is tonight a Tilapia Salad at Waterloo Ice House on 360 is the perfect date night. night or does the Hippie Chop Salad with spring greens and romaine topped with grilled chicken breast, avocado, hard-boiled eggs, crumbled bleu cheese, cheddar cheese, cucumbers, cherry tomato Enjoy date night at any one of the seven Waterloo Ice House and red onion win out? locations, five with playscapes; 360, Escarpment, South Park, Hill Country Galleria and Avery Ranch. Your spouse was set on choosing between Chicken Fried Steak or a great Cheeseburger but then read the specials and now is leaning February 2013 | Bellina | 7
Verdes Verde’s Mexican Parrilla is a casual dining restaurant that specializes in a variety of grilled specialties infused with the spices of Mexico. We use only the freshest of ingredients, prepared daily and grilled to your order on our wood burning grill. From our specialty 3” bone-in pork chop with our honey chipotle glaze, to our “pescado” grilled fish of the day topped with freshly made mango salsa, to our bacon wrapped shrimp drizzled with tequila lime butter, the flavors are authentic Mexico. Other favorites include the Pollo Palomino; grilled chicken breast topped with poblano peppers, melted cheese with the final touch coming from a rich, delicious poblano cream sauce. The sides are as unique as the restaurant. Roasted corn with chipotle aioli, cilantro lime rice, charro green beans and the poblano cream mashed potatoes are favorites amongst our patrons.
creating an environment with an amphitheatre setting and large green grass area designed specifically for “play.” With plenty of footballs and frisbies to toss, this area is an environment where kids can play to their hearts content and adults can either join them, or sit back and enjoy a cocktail on the patio while they wait for their meal to be served. The best of both worlds!
Joel and Aubrey fell in love with the location on Hamilton Pool Road because it combines the feeling of being in the midst of the hill country while being only three miles off of the intersection at Hwy 71. They realized the potential for growth in the area, and have immersed themselves into the Hamilton Pool, Lakeway and Dripping Springs lifestyle. They hope you’ll join them at their restaurant, Joel and Aubrey Munguia opened Verde’s in April of 2008 with a dual Verde’s, to do the same! purpose in mind. Inside the restaurant, you can enjoy an intimate meal with a loved one, or a group of family and friends. Outside, Verde’s Mexican Parrilla, where we infuse the taste of Mexico into they designed the covered patio and open area to cater to families, everything we grill.
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Feature Family
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the stockstills 10 years of marriage, two young boys, & the love lives on
written and photographed by Rebecca Guenther
I
have known Christie Stockstill for
in my own relationship. I love couples that
about 4 years now (and, through
admit that marriage isn’t always perfect
professional
and are swilling to share their secrets to
photographer groups online for about the
“make it work”. Staying in love isn’t always
same time.) The reason I selected them
easy - especially once you have kids, jobs,
for our “love” themed issue is because
mortgages, and everything else that comes
they have an amazingly strong marriage -
with LIFE.
and that they have always approached it in
story and why, for them, divorce is never
a realistic manner, which I find so inspiring
an option.
and
other
Here is Christie and Adams’
February 2013 | Bellina | 11
Bellina: How long have you been married? Adam: We’ve been married 10 years – it was 10 years in October – and we’ve been together for 13 and a half years. Bellina: How do you stay happily married, raising two kids and working full time? Christie: (laughs) We don’t know! Adam: I don’t know how, we just do it. We help each other out, try to work together as much as possible. It’s not easy. It’s not easy at all. Some days you feel like roommates more than lovers and you have to remind yourself why you fell in love and what you love about that person. B: So what do you do to remind yourself? A: I’m REALLY funny. (everyone laughs) B: So you make a joke and she laughs and remembers that’s why she fell in love with you. C: I look at this picture of him (gestures to an image of Adam in his early 20s). A: That’s the guy she fell in love with. C: Well, we aren’t very good at taking date nights and stuff. But we’re trying to get better at that. We’ve actually never had a vacation other than New Orleans – which was a work trip more than a romantic get-away. A: And I was sick the whole time. C: We just get along really well, most of the time. And he’s pretty tolerant. And I’m pretty patient. A: She’s VERY tolerant and I’m pretty patient (laughs). B: I saw today with you and the boys that you two seem to share a lot of the responsibilities. Do you think that helps, splitting the tasks 50/50 and helping each other out? A: I’d say she does more than 50%. But it definitely helps. I try to give her as much time to work as I can, you know because she works from home and from everywhere. She doesn’t really have an office – everywhere is her office. I stayed home for 3 years with Xander when he was born so I kind of know that role and I know how hard it is for her to do and it’s twice as hard with two kids – it’s MORE than twice as hard with two kids. B: Yeah. C: That’s another thing. Adam works really hard so that I get can do photography full time. I always appreciate that. A: Yeah, she can be creative with her job. I think that… C: If I leave him, I wouldn’t be able to stay with the photography. I’d have to get a full time job. (laughs) 12 | Bellina | February 2013
A: You’d have to get a “real” job. C: Yeah, with insurance (everyone laughs). B: So you’re stuck with him. C: Happily. B: So what would you guys do if you could have a date night? C: We’ve had some good ones where … we like to take our cameras because it’s fun – especially for him because he doesn’t get to shoot that often. A: Yeah, we’ll go walk up and down Congress and eat dinner somewhere – usually Guerro’s or something – and take pictures. C: We like to go DO stuff. When the boys were out of town for a week last summer with my family, I was so happy because I was like “oh my god, we’re going to be ok because we aren’t going to be THAT COUPLE that doesn’t know what to do when the kids leave”.
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A: We went out every night. C: We rode our bikes. That was a HUGE thing that we enjoyed. We remembered “oh yeah, we like to ride our bikes together”. And we were at Town Lake or Veloway like every single day just cruising on our bikes. We documented the whole thing on Instagram, and we’d go get snocones, and we’d come home and change and go back out for dinner.
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B: So, even though you’ve become parents, you haven’t forgotten how to have fun together. A: Oh no, she’s a lot of fun! I like having fun with her. B: Would you say you’re best friends? C: (laughing) No, I don’t think so. I say that his dad is his best friend. They are like two peas in a pod, and I think it’s important that he has that. I mean, we talk about everything but they have more in common. A: She doesn’t appreciate all my off-color humor that maybe my dad or my friends would. C: Obviously we are good friends. I don’t think you could last if you weren’t at least very good friends. A: She’s definitely the other half of me, for sure. The best friends thing – I don’t have best friends, I don’t have a lot of friends. I work and I parent. But me and my dad, we are tighter than anybody. C: And I have a lot of girl friends who are my tight friends. B: Would you say that maybe having that space helps keep you guys closer? C: Definitely. A: Yeah, for sure. February 2013 | Bellina | 13
C: Especially now. We’ve got our best friends that we’ve had forever A: We’ve been poor our entire relationship (laughing) so that’s usually and we have a new group of friends that have kids that are the same the one thing that people fight about that we’ve never been able to. age as ours and they are like our best friends now. We see each When we got married, we were both fixing to be unemployed… other all the time now because of school and all that. C: We got fired on our honeymoon, on the way out. A: And they’ll get together for a girls night every other month or something. A: That’s right. And we got our first house when we were unemployed. She was about to start teaching and I was working C: Or even bring the kids and let them run around like crazy while side jobs. We just have faith in our marriage and our future. we hang out. You have to have that release and get a chance to talk to people who understand what you’re going through. And I B: Especially when the kids grow up and move out, you know you’ll think that’s important because we get to help support each other’s be fine. You’ll go on bike rides… marriages as well. C: Yeah, we’ll be fine. And next year when Arlo goes to school, it’ll A: We do hang out with a lot of other married couples. We don’t start being easier to take time for ourselves. have a lot of single friends. Not that that’s bad but, you know, we can appreciate our marriage when we look at other peoples marriages A: YES. Then we’ll have our afternoons together. sometimes. Not that our friends marriages are not as great as ours, just that being around married friends helps us understand that all C: It’s tough sometimes. His schedule is crazy. marriages take work, and most aren’t this fantasy relationship of eternally being in love. B: At the bar? C: Yeah, it helps you see that marriage isn’t this thing that’s up on a A: Yeah, I run a bar. So I don’t get home until 3am, 4 sometimes. pedestal that somebody has that you don’t have… And I leave after dinner. That’s one thing we do – we have dinner together often. Where we all sit down and have get to talk and have A: …rainbows and unicorns… a meal with each other as a family. I’d say that happens most nights. There are some nights that I need to go in early, but for the most C: …you see that every couple has their issues and you just power part, we get to have dinner together. I think that’s important. through sometimes. 14 | Bellina | February 2013
C: Yeah, our values are the same. We’ve known that from the beginning, that our core values when it comes to family are the same. Even though our families are very different, we have the same core values. Whatever happens, it’s going to be family first. A: We decided that divorce wasn’t going to be an option before we got married; neither one of us considered that an option. So we made sure that this was going to work and that this was it. B: Do you think that by taking that option completely off the table it helps you know that, no matter what, you just HAVE to get through it because you’ve made that deal? A: Absolutely. C: Totally. B: Because I think for most couples, a break up is always an option. So I think that’s smart to make that not an option to entertain at all. A: Yes. And, like she said, it’s family first. That’s been our motto for a long time. We have two amazing children that we have to put before any of our problems. We’re not going to be miserable because of it, but at the same time, every decision we make we think of them first. B: What other tips would you have for married couples who are struggling to remember they are in love when they are overwhelmed with the kids, overwhelmed with the job? C: You mean if someone’s struggling to reconnect? B: Well, I mean, all couples have a hard time connecting sometimes. They lose the romance at some point, kids or not. So, other than just knowing that divorce isn’t an option, what are some of the things that you two do to stay close? C: We sit down and talk about it. Whenever he’s off, we do a lot of talking. I don’t know, we just kind of … you know, sometimes the problem is that you just start thinking about yourself and you forget that they are a PERSON, a real life person who has actual feelings. You get in this rut where you’re just one entity and you’re thinking about the kids in the way of “we’re this” and “we’re that” when, in reality, there are two of you and you’re each your own person with your own feelings. You have to recognize that you’re separate people. It sounds so cheesy but it’s hard to remember that sometimes. But you know, just remembering that he’s not just a stubborn person who isn’t thinking of me, I have to remember that he’s a real person that has real things that he’s thinking about. It’s hard to remember that sometimes because you’re thinking “I’M stressed out” and “I haven’t had time to work” and “I need a night with my girlfriends” and you have to really think about how another person may feel. You can say that you have to think about how other people really feel, that’s easy. But to actually do it, sometimes that can be hard to remember. A: When I put myself in her shoes, I do a lot of apologizing. B: (laughing) I’m sure that helps. A: That’s an exaggeration. But seriously when I’m grumpy and I’m taking it out on the family, she reminds me that I’m not being very February 2013 | Bellina | 15
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pleasant right now. And then I think about everything that she has going on and these are just my little issues and it shouldn’t affect everybody, let’s not put everyone in a bad mood because I’m a little grumpy. And then I’ll say, yeah, I’m sorry.
did I do??” Then there is another phase when you’re saying “jeez, just get over it”. But now it’s like “OK it’s just his thing, let him have it” and I take the kids out to play. And then his mood passes and everything is fine.
C: But it really does come down to, you know, there’s a week that I B: So you’re saying that it takes YEARS to get to a place where you just need to tell myself “OK just let him have this mood”. And I want know someone well enough to know how to deal with their moods to be clear here to you and the readers that he’s NOT the guy to raise properly so it doesn’t end up in a huge fight? a hand or yell, he’s just mopey sometimes. C: Yes, of course. Because in the past I would have been thinking it B: Of course! We all have our moments… was me and getting mad about how he was treating me and the kids but now I know that he just has something else on his mind. And C: Yeah. Sometimes he just has things that are bothering him that I’ve realized that I really love him and that we are never going to get have nothing to do with us but they are still heavy on his mind that a divorce because of a grumpy mood… he doesn’t want to share right now. A: …because I’m hungry… B: I think that’s pretty normal. I know that in my own experiences, there are some people who can compartmentalize and some who C: …yeah, just give him a sandwich. (laughing) So, you know, that’s can’t. I know that my own boyfriend is very much like that as well just part of the determination and just the realizing that it’s not all – when something is upsetting him, it can come out towards me at lovey-dovey all the time. We have a lot of silliness. times. Whereas I’ll complain about what’s bothering me to him but, for the most part, make sure that I’m not lashing out at him about it. A: We have a lot of realistic expectations. We know it’s not just happily ever after. It’s work, it’s a lot of work. But it’s worth it. C: Maybe it’s a man/woman thing… Absolutely. B: Yeah, maybe it is.
C: See, I told you, no real pearls of wisdom here!
C: Because I’d have to say that’s pretty accurate. I’ll ask him what’s wrong and when he tells me I sometimes realize it has nothing to do with me or the kids at all and it’s good to know that! Then I can just let him have his mood. But also, after 10 years… I mean, you know, when you’re first dating, you’re like “Oh god! Is it me?? What
A: She’s really good looking and I’m really funny. That’s the trick to it. (laughing) B: Thank you guys so much for being so honest with me. This is why I wanted to talk to y’all – you have a realistic approach to marriage.
February 2013 | Bellina | 17
design
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date night in a romantic his and hers at the table written and photographed* by Lieve Saether
February is here and for most of us, it’s time to get into the spirit of romance. Valentine’s day can be many things, with expectations both high and low, so how about keeping it happy; no sitters, less last minute reservation planning, and instead creating a beautiful dinner for two at home? You’ll have to come up with the menu part please, but how about I provide you with the table setting? And whether it’s hers or his taking the planning lead, your significant other will appreciate this very personal effort. The best set tables are the ones full of personality. Take cue from the things you love AND from the things you know your other half enjoys. Have a hunter on your hands? Make the table warm and cozy with these cozy deer shot glasses (imagine what promise they bring in terms of where the evening might take you). You might find it atypical to bring shots and bottle to the table, but remember, don’t be bound by tradition – it’s a personal twist that will shake things up bit. When planning for her, it’s still reliable that girls react well to sparkle. These candle light n from Layla Grace will add romance, intrigue and a festive glow ensuring many tête-à-tête moments. In addition, leave a little something on her plate – now is the time to sift through old photos and print out a reminder of what you were both like as a young cou-
ple. This touch works no matter who is set- mention help keep the alcohol consumption ting the table and it can be counted on for a reasonable and light. Valentine’s Day does great conversation starter! fall on a week night again this year… As for the overall table plan, take it out of the dining room. Again, no one can argue that bucking tradition doesn’t add to the pleasure of an experience. Find one of your smaller tables and take it into the living room. That way you’ll spend you evening in a “new” environment, which will inevitably lead to new perspectives.
It might be considered corny, but when has that not been a good reason? - add a place card for each of you. Yes, of course it’s only the two of you, but here’s a chance to add in a paper heart or a greeting card to your setting. They still so traditionally sum up this holiday! When choosing names, think back to any endearing nicknames you had for each other from times past. I know I forget From here, setting the table should be pure mine, but whenever they creep back up from joy. Take the opportunity to use your wed- my husband, I’m always sweetly surprised by ding china. It’s no doubt been in the cup- hearing them again. board for too long with a long list of excuses attached to why you shouldn’t / haven’t You’ve heard it before, but keep the lights used it. Valentine’s day is special (I promise!) low, the music on and sit directly opposite and it will automatically rekindle those ear- one another. That way, you can get close, enlier days. joy each others company and look straight at each other once in a while, which after all is Hopefully you’re counting on a simple menu the point. I don’t know about you, but kids, to allow for total relaxation. To add to that schedules and everyday to-dos make that a feeling, make way for several beverage op- rare and much missed experience. Happy tions with your glassware. We’ve already rendezvous-ing! covered the shot glasses (try a cordial recipe here instead of a full blown alcohol shot), so follow with a wine glass, a water glass and a champagne flute to round the end of the meal out. Anything sparkling (think Cava, *Separate product photographs Prosecco or even a Grapefruit Sparkler) will from their manufacturers leave things on a celebratory note, not to February 2013 | Bellina | 19
romance is in the house
NO STRESS, NO MESS DATE NIGHT IN
written and photographed by Stephanie Hodges
W
hat do you love most about going out on a date? For me, it’s the special atmosphere, delicious food, and a relaxing time with my wonderful husband. Since we’ve had a baby, however, the extra coordination and cost of hiring a babysitter sometimes makes going out more trouble than it’s worth. Fortunately, you can save some money and skip the wait by creating a wonderful “Date Night In” this Valentine’s Day.
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DATE NIGHT IN RECIPES
This menu contains many of the foods commonly referred to as aphrodisiac foods – those designed to bring out the love in you! The following steps can be done ahead of time: • • • •
Assemble Chicken Roll-Ups Wash and prep Asparagus Prepare tomato mixture for Quinoa Make Banana Pops
and pepper 4. Roast in oven preheated to 400 degrees 15-20 minutes or until tender 5. Garnish with fresh lemon and additional Parmesan cheese Caprese Quinoa* Ingredients: 1 cup fresh tomatoes, chopped 1 cup (8 oz) fresh mozzarella cheese pearls or cubed fresh mozzarella 2 TBS fresh basil, chopped 2-3 TBS olive oil 1 TBS balsamic vinegar 1 cup quinoa 2 cups water or chicken stock Salt Pepper *Couscous can also be used in place of quinoa Directions: 1. Combine chopped tomatoes, mozzarella cheese, basil, balsamic vinegar and olive oil (store in refrigerator until ready to use) 2. Cook quinoa according to package directions – combine quinoa with water or chicken stock, bring to a boil, and simmer 10-15 minutes 3. Allow quinoa to cool slightly, combine with tomato-mozzarella mixture and season with salt and pepper
Spinach and Cheese Stuffed Chicken Roll-Ups Ingredients: • Boneless, skinless chicken breasts • Fresh mozzarella cheese, Feta cheese, or goat cheese • Fresh spinach, trimmed and chopped Marinade: ¼ cup olive oil Juice from one small fresh lemon 2 cloves garlic, minced 1 tsp salt ¼ tsp pepper Directions: 1. Flatten chicken breasts between two pieces of plastic wrap using a meat mallet or heavy skillet 2. Combine all ingredients for marinade and pour over chicken, marinate 1-2 hours 3. Remove chicken from marinade (discard leftover marinade) and place a thin layer of spinach and cheese in Chocolate Banana Pops with Chopped Almonds the middle of each chicken breast Ingredients: 4. Roll up chicken breast and secure ends Popsicle sticks (skewers or toothpicks can with toothpicks or skewers also be used) 5. Bake in oven preheated to 400 degrees 3-5 ripe bananas cut in large chunks 20-30 minutes, or until internal temp 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips or pieces reaches 160 degrees 1 TBS shortening Chopped almonds (or other nuts of choice) Roasted Asparagus Directions: Ingredients: 1. Insert a popsicle stick into each 1 lb thin asparagus banana chunk and place on baking sheet Olive oil lined with waxed paper 1 small clove minced garlic (optional*) 2. Place in freezer for about 2 hours 1-2 TBS Grated or shredded Parmesan 3. Melt chocolate and shortening in a cheese double boiler, or melt in microwave stirring Sea salt every 10 seconds until smooth and melted Black pepper 4. Remove bananas from freezer and Fresh Lemon dip in chocolate mixture, using a spoon if *Although garlic is considered an aphrodisiac needed to cover completely food and great for flavor, some may consider 5. Roll bananas in chopped almonds, its effect on the breath not very romantic. then eat immediately or place back Directions: on baking sheet and into freezer to be 1. Wash asparagus and remove eaten later tough ends Note: Frozen Banana Pops can be softened 2. Drizzle 1-2 TBS olive oil over in the refrigerator 30 minutes prior to asparagus and toss with minced garlic and eating. Once frozen, wrap pops and eat 1 TBS Parmesan cheese within 3 days. 3. Spread asparagus in single layer in a shallow baking pan and season with salt
5 Keys For a Special Night Eating in front of the TV in your sweatpants is one of the perks of staying in, but if you want to make this a unique celebration for the two of you, try to preserve or re-create some of those special aspects of going out. Here are 5 keys: 1. Get dressed up. When you look good, you feel good. Put on something special to impress the one you love. 2. Set the atmosphere. Prepare a music playlist to set the tone for your date. Low lighting, candles, and flowers all help create a special atmosphere. 3. “Leave” the house. Once date night starts, no more laundry or football games. Separate yourself from the daily todos and focus exclusively on one another – nurturing your relationship is the point of a date night! 4. Have fun. Another point of date night is to have fun. You might follow dinner with a movie, or take time for something you don’t normally do. Some ideas: play a game, ask each other 20 questions and try to learn something new, draw your dream house, plan your perfect vacation…laugh and dream together. 5. No stress, no mess. Did I mention my true favorite part of going out to eat is no dishes? You may choose to order in or a pick up a prepared meal that just requires heating. Or, you can try the recipes below, preparing as much as possible earlier in the day so you can relax in the evening (and have fewer dishes).
February 2013 | Bellina | 21
How To Fall In Love With Your Belly written by Hannah Ford photographed by Rebecca Guenther
Do you want to love your belly? No, this isn’t step-by-step directions for rock-hard abs, or how to get beach ready in 12 weeks. It’s not about reducing your waistline or your jeans size or cutting this or that out of your diet. The first and best secret to Belly Love is that it’s not about changing your belly – it’s about changing your love.
Hear me out, I’m a certified belly expert.
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Squishiness and vulnerability Have you ever watched a baby breathe? You may have noticed that little perfect belly puffing up with each inhale and deflating with each exhale. It happens because baby is breathing completely naturally, using the diaphragm. The diaphragm is a muscle on the underside of the lungs, attached to the bottom of the ribcage and the front of the spine. As the primary muscle of respiration, the diaphragm contracts and flattens during a deep inhale, making more space for the lungs to inflate with incoming air. This creates a downward push into the abdominal organs, causing the belly to expand softly outward. When and why do we forget this natural tendency to breathe into our bellies? Physically speaking, the belly is our weakest anatomical area. There is no bony structure to protect it, just a thin layer of muscle and connective tissue between our organs and the outside. The fetal position is what we return to when physical safety is threatened – we know on an unconscious level to guard our heads and bellies from harm. Allowing the belly to be soft in breath, to squish out into the space of the world, is something of a risk, once we know the world can hurt us.
What are you waiting for? Show that belly some love!
assignment is to spend some time browsing photos at The Belly Project website, started by a couple of Austinites, midwife Christy Tashjian and sex educator Dr. Karen Rayne, at http://thebellyproject.wordpress.com as “a place to come and put our bellies in perspective and to share them anonymously.” I’m not saying you should compare yours to these other bellies! Just click through for a few minutes each time you open a fashion or “women’s health” magazine – or after you go through the grocery checkout lane – as a sort of antidote to the airbrushed fantasy bellies Life, as most of us live it, also requires the you’ve been bombarded with. creation of many layers of protection from social and emotional threats. Where do Reconnecting with the center we store the physical manifestations of this emotional armoring? You guessed it, How familiar are you with your belly, and in the vulnerable belly. Add a media culture how kind to it are you? For many of us, it’s a obsessed with flat, hard abs, and the soft mysterious thing – and when our belly’s not in belly becomes a thing of shame, a favorite pain, we tend just to ignore it. target of negative self-talk, something to hide and forget. What if you committed to giving 5 minutes of daily, loving attention to your belly? The actual normal Your second Belly Love assignment is to breathe like a baby every day. Set a timer How many bellies have you seen lately? As to release the urge to check the clock, or a certified belly expert, I’ve seen plenty, and begin your practice at bedtime. Lie down, lots of them come with apologies. Many rest your warm hands flat on your belly, women feel their own belly must be uglier and breathe with your diaphragm. The than all the other bellies out there, that their simple physical act of breathing deeply in belly should be firmer, flatter, more perfectly relaxation releases stored emotional stress, sculpted somehow than its current form. I’d increases oxygenation of blood, encourages propose a National Show Your Belly Day to circulation of lymph (the fluid that fuels the combat this misperception, but I think all our immune system), and passively massages the tummies would get too cold. Fortunately, the abdominal organs. Internet has provided! Your first Belly Love
Self-care abdominal massage Now that you’ve got an easy belly-love habit going, why not take it a step further? Selfcare abdominal massage takes 5-10 minutes when practiced daily, and can prevent future bellyaches, especially if they are related to upper abdominal tension or a displaced uterus. “Bellyaching” is a dismissive label thrown at vague complaints. A bellyache could indicate digestive illness, issues with any of the other organs between ribs and pelvis, or psychological stress. Women often suffer through belly pain related to our menstrual cycles – bloating, painful ovulation, painful menses – and are told this is just part of being a woman. If this is you, give abdominal massage a try! Self-care abdominal massage is taught by practitioners of The Arvigo Techniques of Maya Abdominal Therapy™ as a cornerstone of our healing work. In your first session with an ATMAT practitioner, you’ll discuss your medical history and treatment goals. You’ll then receive a bodywork session designed to balance the flow of blood, lymph, qi, and nerve communication within the abdomen. The techniques used range from a gentle scooping and pulling motion up from the pelvis and down from the ribs, to light strokes stimulating lymph circulation, to positioning both sides of the pelvis in relation to the sacrum. At the end of the session, your practitioner will teach you a basic self-care abdominal massage routine you can then practice daily. February 2013 | Bellina | 23
7 Things To Remember Before Massaging Your Partner
written by Hannah Ford
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5. Do no harm Relaxation massage is perfectly safe if applied with a few common sense precautions in mind. Avoid areas of recent injury or inflammation. Never massage someone who is ill, feverish or under the influence of alcohol. Certain health conditions are contraindicated even for gentle massage, so if you have questions about whether massage is appropriate for you and your 1. Ask permission partner, please check with a Like all interpersonal communi- health care professional. cation, massage has a time and place – so make sure to ask if 6. Communicate openly your partner is feeling up to re- Wouldn’t it be great if you alceiving massage, even for short ready knew exactly what your shoulder rubs. partner needed, or where the aches and pains were hiding? 2. Give with gratitude But that romantic idea isn’t likely It’s not a gift if there are strings to result in a fully satisfying masattached! If you expect a mas- sage. Ask for specific feedback sage in return, or are hoping that on your pressure and technique, a massage will lead to, ahem, so your partner gets what she or some more romantic activity, it he needs. will change the nature of your partner’s experience. 7. Stay comfortable Breathe fully and intentionally. 3. Focus on your partner Use gravity to increase your presIf you notice that you’re feeling sure whenever possible, rather nervous about giving massage, than using your own muscular stop and take a breath – and effort. If you notice discomfort, realize that this means you’re change positions, and/or have thinking about yourself and your your partner change positions. experience. Focus on your part- Remaining comfortable in your ner’s feelings, perceptions, and body will allow you to focus more preferences, and you can’t go effectively on your partner’s feelwrong. ings and perceptions - and give a great massage! 4. Hold the space Take time before you begin to adjust the temperature, lower If you and your partner want more directhe lighting, and choose sooth- tion on communication and technique, ing music to make relaxation ef- maybe you’d like to join a couples’ masfortless. Turn off cell phones! If sage class. your partner decides to chat dur- Get Babied! Doula Collective hosts “Couing the massage that’s ok – but ples’ Massage Techniques: Back, Shoulhold open the option for quiet ders, Neck and Scalp” on Monday, Februrelaxation. ary 11, 6-8:30pm. hat better way to enjoy the many benefits of massage – stress reduction, pain relief, improved focus, enhanced relationships – than with the help of someone who knows you well? Couples massage is a great way to relax and reconnect. But if you’ve never massaged before, there are a few things you and your partner should keep in mind:
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if at first you don’t conceive,
Add A Little Spice! written by Charlotte Sobeck
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ovemaking can lack in high spirits when put to the task of trying to conceive month after month . . . Ancient Chinese Secrets work magic to “spice” it up while helping you relax into the natural flow of intimacy and that great feeling of I’m so sexy!
Happy St. Valentines fearless love warriors!
few organs that regenerates each year, it is believed to build strength and rejuvenate the body. Long-term use can rebuild energy and blood, improve sleep and increase oxygen in the brain, liver and of course the kidneys, whose vitality is so important to the reproductive system. And rest assured, no little deer are harmed in the summer Aphrodisiacs are substances that can increase harvesting of antlers. sexual power and desire, they include, herbs, scents and foods. In Traditional Chinese Food is a powerful potion as well, so set your Medicine (TCM) good kidney qi (energy) table with something sexy! My taste buds helps keep your libido strong and active, so were pleasantly surprised by a chocolate bar keeping your kidneys in excellent health can with chilies an enlightened patient recently add pizzazz to your love life! left in our office - great fuel indeed. Warming foods and spices ignite the kidney fire (yang). Thousands of years have gone into perfecting Some sizzling numbers are basil, cinnamon, Chinese herbal remedies that preserve garlic, ginger, maca root, and rosemary. sexual vitality. Chinese aphrodisiacs enhance Lobster, lamb and of course Kidney can keep sex drive and performance by strengthening the embers burning late into the night. So the kidney essence, yin and yang. Their dual dare to be spicy, set your creativity loose and actions are outstanding as they can broaden don’t forget the candle with a drop or two and relax someone who is sexually tense, of ylang ylang essential oil to further enliven or strengthen a person who is too lethargic. your sensuality. The herbal compounds stimulate as well as sedate the nervous system, which can gently According to folklore, ancient Incan warriors balance your entire body’s health. consumed maca to make them physically strong before going off to battle. However, A few of the best Chinese herbal aphrodisiacs they were later prohibited from taking are Chinese Ginseng, Rehmannia and Lu it, in order to protect women from their Rong. heightened libidos! Be mindful, it’s all about balance and too much or not enough of Chinese Ginseng, helps the body adapt to the good stuff is where problems begin, so stress, if you are fatigued it can give you careful not to burn the flames too hot or too sexual energy, if too tense if can help you long. relax. Happy St. Valentines fearless love warriors! Rehmannia is rich food for the kidneys, Remember If at first you don’t conceive, try nourishing kidney yin and essence. It builds try again by igniting your passion with one of blood and can enhance sexuality by drawing Traditional Chinese Medicine’s love potions! qi and energy to your reproductive organs Light up your yang, and release the inferno increasing libido. Rehmannia is rarely within! prescribed as a single herb, contact your acupuncturist for the formula best suited for you. Charlotte Sobeck, MSOM, L.Ac. Lu Rong or velvet deer antler, not an herb at all, is also a powerful aphrodisiac for the libido. Because deer antler is one of the
Specializing in Reproductive Acupuncture and TCM for Children Sage Acupuncture reproductiveacupuncture.com February 2013 | Bellina | 25
being a single father how my son is the love of my life
written by Rudi Kruger
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hat is it about the phrase ‘I’m a single dad’ that has most people very nearly gasping? The first question usually then comes ‘Where’s the mother?’ Usually said with a hint of trepidation and hope that she’s nearby just in case I bathe him in the kitchen sink while I do the dishes, or give him coffee and cake for breakfast or let him play with power tools while I’m changing the oil in the truck. Everything’s fine, he doesn’t like coffee anyway. He much prefers apple juice.
not? I didn’t know what to expect when I found out I was going to be a dad and now, 4 years down the line, everything’s fine. From the outset the only parenting guide you have to go by are your parents and the job they did raising you. You were a child once too so you have that experience to go by as well. For a dad the ‘How to’ library in any store has slim pickings, compared to a woman’s ‘How to’ library which has 10 books for every conceivable problem/ situation you can think of. I turned to my parents for advice, aunts and uncles, anybody who I thought might be able to give me some input, though most days it’s a case of adlibbing. Had there been a library of books for dad’s I would have read it. I remember admiring little toes and fingers and being flabbergasted at the fact that I now have a tiny human I had to care for. There is no greater responsibility. So where are all my books?
There is the stigma attached to the notion of a guy taking care of a kid, mom knows best and all that. As much as a woman can be a single parent a man can too. It’s not about you the man or you the woman and who is a better parent, it’s about the happiness and the well being of the child and as a parent you’ll provide that regardless of your gender. I’ve found the basics of parenting are the same both ways: feed them, bathe them, teach them, play with reckless abandon and A child is supposed to change learn from them. your life in every way.. With a child comes a whole new world There are many dads that skirt of experiences that you’ve responsibility and head for the witnessed in everyday life, now it hills. Why is that though? Are is your everyday life, embracing they scared of failure, scared it has helped me immensely. of the responsibility or do they Had I lived in fear of the change just not give a damn? The few where would I be today? Yes it’s I’ve met have said things like, ‘I a challenge, when has life not wouldn’t know where to begin been. raising a kid’; ‘I’m not ready to raise a kid’; ‘What if I’m a bad FEAR of failure is my motivator; parent?’ How would you know there is no fear in my mind whether you were going to be or greater than screwing up this 26 | Bellina | February 2013
child’s life. Every decision I make revolves around the question ‘How will he be affected?’ The answer to that question makes the decision for you. Try it if you haven’t. The clarity that comes with the answer is surprising and refreshing. His little life is dependent on my big life and I live it as such. This is how I cope with everyday. This is what keeps me grounded. When I was growing up, my Dad was my first hero. He overcame a world of difficulty and became a success and all while being a great dad. It’s the example he set that I aim to follow. He had 3 boys, 16 years apart and we’re all doing just fine. 20 years from now, I want to be half the man he is. I’ll deem my life a success when I’m able to. I learnt from him to be kind, to be polite, and to be courteous. Be stern when it’s called for; stand up for what’s right, fair and just. He taught me that it’s okay to cry, to give a hug and to say I love you. The foundation he gave in my life was as important a foundation as the one my mother gave. It’s why I am who I am today. Regardless of who gives you the foundation for your life ahead that foundation, when set with love as the cornerstone, it will last a lifetime. My son gave me a hug and a kiss with a ‘Wove you daddy’ this morning. I’m going to have a good day.
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February 2013 | Bellina | 27