BeaconMediaNews.com
2 March 3, 2011 - March 9, 2011
Handy Household Helpers
Tax Time Blues (or) The Rats Ate My Cadillac
TheGoodLife
M E D I A ,
I N C .
PUBLISHER/EDITOR IN CHIEF Von Raees
EDITORIAL EDITOR
Terry Miller
PHOTOGRAPHER Terry Miller
BY WALLY HAGE
H
COLUMNISTS
andy Household Helpers! The Household Commander-in-Chief at my house believes that to meet the demands of her daily housekeeping she needs to use as many labor saving helpers as possible. My “Cleaning Queen” has been very resourceful in adapting many common items found around the house to accomplish the household duties. The following is a list of some of her proven household helpers that you may find useful: FABRIC SOFTENER SHEETS... They are great for getting rid of those ugly ants that come indoors to get out of a heavy rainstorm. Put them around your kitchen sink behind appliances. Scientists have determined that the sheets contain linalool, a pleasant smelling compound naturally found in basil, lavender and marjoram and the chemical in the dryer sheets really irritates and kills bugs. They also keep closets smelling fresh and yet do not scent up your clothing. They are great odor guards for old shoes. Best of all, when used they are great for keeping the shower doors and tile in showers sparkling clean. CLEVER USES FOR OLD COFFEE GROUNDS ... “Fridge freshener”: Put the dry grounds into an old margarine tub with holes poked in the lid. Place the tub in the refrigerator to absorb odors. Keep grounds in a can near the sink. Rub a
small amount over your hands after peeling onions, chopping garlic, or handling fish to get rid of the odor. You can recycle them as a fertilizer. They are great when spread over flowerbeds containing acid-loving plants such as azaleas and rhododendrons. REUSE OF PACKING BOX PEANUTS ... They make great drainage in the bottom of household flowerpots. They will also serve as pet bedding: Stuff peanuts into an old zippered pillow; cover it to create a soft bed for your dog or cat. Then use as an air freshener in their beds. Put a handful of packing peanuts into a potpourri jar and sprits with your favorite perfume to deodorize a room. USE OF POWDERED LEMON OR ORANGE DRINK MIXES... They are handy helpers for removing stains on the inside of your dishwasher door. To remove rust from the inside walls, pour 1/4 cup powdered lemon or orange drink, which contains citric acid or citric acid crystals, into the detergent cup and then run a regular cycle. Repeat as often as necessary. It is also useful in cleaning the stain buildup that sometimes occurs in the washing machine. REUSE FOR OLD PANTYHOSE... They make great garden-stake ties! A great strainer for old paint and they are good for gift-wrap storage: Keep rolls of gift paper neat and tatter-free by storing them in old
pantyhose -- one roll per leg -- and hanging them in the closet. Try pantyhose to scrub tile and other surfaces where you’re afraid of scratches. They are also great for applying polishes to silver, brass, gold, and other easily scratched metals. They are useful for flower bulb storage. Store seasonal bulbs in pantyhose and hang them up in a dry place to promote good air circulation. Oh yes, and old pantyhose are perfect for putting the spitshine on shoes. Oh yaa... in a pinch ... you can make a quick Halloween mask for your trick- or-treaters too! TOOTHPASTE... It’s an excellent cleaner behind those careless toothpaste users. It is very helpful around the sink to clean chrome: It will quickly shine sink fixtures. Just lightly rub over faucets with a wet sponge. It can also soothe skin to relieve itch from a mosquito bite. MUSTARD & KETCHUP PACKETS... If you get extra mustard or ketchup packets with a take-out meal, put them in the freezer. They make great mini ice packs for small boo-boos. REUSE OF OLD SPOUSES... Oh Yes, I too have been one of her “Handy Household Helpers” found around the house. I am regularly employing all of those helpers shown above in addition to my regular duties of doing the dishes, washing the laundry, folding the clothes, shopping and bringing her breakfast in bed each day.
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Dorothy Denne Wally Hage
BY DOROTHY DENNE
Dorothy's Place (I have decided to rerun a column I did in April, 1999. While working on my income taxes yesterday, I was reminded of it.) I paid our income tax last week. I was feeling a little blue. If the IRS said I we owed so much, how come we didn’t have more left? I was trying to see the bright side. I was trying to convince myself things were good. I said, “Self, be thankful you owe something. It means you earned something.” I have a roof over my head. You can tell by looking at me, I’m not hungry. I’m able to get warm in winter and cool in summer. I have a new car, small, middle-of-the-line but it looks classy and I like it. Life is pretty good. Still, I had to pay the IRS for that goodness. So, I have a right to feel sorry for me. Another woman I know appears to have everything. Her home is gorgeous. She has a cleaning crew to keep it spotless. Her lawn is a perennial showcase, thanks to the hired gardeners. The hired maintenance company keeps the pool clean and clear. She just swims or has catered parties around it. The exercise room is well equipped. She has a personal trainer. And, treat of all treats, she has a masseuse who gives her regular massages. Her wardrobe looks like something straight out of the top fashion magazines. Her hairdresser keeps her dyed, dried, curled and coiffed at least twice a week. Her tax man came
to her house. He figured her taxes. She owed the IRS. She said she can’t understand. If she owes that much, how come she doesn’t have more left? She was feeling a little blue. I have to admit, I had a little trouble feeling sorry for her. Then she told me a story that I consider to be about the ultimate. This same woman believes in trading her car every other year, just because it is two years old. That is how she’s always done it. Last time, she bought a new Cadillac. Then shortly thereafter she decided to take a trip around the world. Her mechanic came out to the house and removed the battery from her new car. She was gone a year. She had a house sitter but not a car driver. It sat in the garage while she was gone. When she came home, the mechanic returned to replace the battery. He lifted the hood. Inside that beautiful garage attached to that luxurious home, common rats had gnawed all the wiring of her elegant Cadillac. I still have a little trouble feeling sorry for her, but I’m not feeling so blue any more. Meaning has returned to my life. I’m going to spend what I have left to print a bumper sticker. I’ll put it on my classy little car. It will read “The Rats Ate My Cadillac.” Who will know the difference? (I didn’t have to get the sticker printed. My Heart-son and wife got it for me. It is now 2010 and I’m still tooling around town in that same classy little car. It is still wearing that same sticker.)
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