Teen Dating Violence BY THE CHILDREN’S COALITION FOR NORTHEAST LOUISIANA
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een dating violence (TDV) is a type of intimate partner violence. It occurs between two people in a close relationship. Teen dating violence also referred to as, “dating violence,” can take place in person or electronically, such as repeated texting or posting sexual pictures of a partner online without consent. Unhealthy relationships can start early and last a lifetime. Teens often think some behaviors, like teasing and name-calling, are a “normal” part of a relationship—but these behaviors can become abusive and develop into serious forms of violence. However, many teens do not report unhealthy behaviors because they are afraid to tell family and friends. Valerie Duchesne Bowman is the Director of The Wellspring Domestic Violence Program as well as the Family Justice Center (FJC) of Ouachita Parish. The Domestic Violence Program serves the 9 parishes in Northeast Louisiana and three additional parishes in Central Louisiana. The programs focus on providing a coordinated community response to domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, and stalking. Valerie has a
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Bachelor’s degree in Social Work from the University of Louisiana at Monroe and a Master’s degree in Family and Consumer Science with a specialization in Family and Children, from Louisiana Tech University. She has also received Certification in Dynamics of Domestic Violence from Louisiana Tech University and completed the Advocacy Learning Center, a national training/certification program sponsored by the Department of Justice, Office on Violence Against Women, which focused on advocacy and best practices in domestic violence programs. She has served on the Louisiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence board of directors as Secretary, Vice President and President for over 8 years. She has also served on the Committee on Quality Assurance for the Louisiana Department of Children and Family Services. She currently chairs the SAFE Taskforce in Ouachita Parish. Valerie has been with the Wellspring since 2001. Q: What are the most important thing parents and youth need to know about teen dating violence? A: When you first discover that your
teenager is in a violent dating relationship, you will want to take dramatic steps to get the abuser out of their life. However, this will only work if the teenager is ready to end the relationship. As you try to find ways to help, do not cut off contact with your teen by demanding they end the relationship. This approach leaves him or her more isolated and vulnerable. Stay connected to your teen without accusing, punishing, criticizing, or controlling them. The abuser has been controlling and to have a parent do the same only pushes your teenager further away. As a parent, be clear and direct about the danger they are in and how this can escalate as time progresses. Parents need to make sure they are supportive and reassure them the abuse is not their fault and help is available. As parents, we cannot control our teenage children, but we can influence them and be a resource for them. When you actively intervene on your teenagers’ behalf, they know they have the right to be treated with respect, and abuse is not acceptable. Q: How do you talk to your teen about teen dating violence? A: Teen Dating Violence is a real issue in our society today, with nearly one in five high school students experiencing dating violence. Most often teens are going to reach out to