How to Deal with Uncertainty
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ife is filled with uncertainty, especially at times like this. While many things remain outside your control, your mindset is key to coping with difficult circumstances and facing the unknown. Uncertainty is all around us, never more so than today. The current COVID-19 pandemic has heightened uncertainty over the economy, employment, finances, relationships, and of course, physical and mental health. Yet as human beings, we crave security. We want to feel safe and have a sense of control over our lives and wellbeing. Fear and uncertainty can leave you feeling stressed, anxious, and powerless over SHIRLEY the direction of your life. It can drain you emotionally and trap you in a downward spiral of endless “whatifs” and worst-case scenarios about what tomorrow may bring. Shirley Coker is a Professional Counselor and works at Finding Solace in West Monroe. She received her Master’s Degree in Counseling from Louisiana Tech University 86 JANUARY 2021 | WWW.BAYOULIFEMAG.COM
BY THE CHILDREN’S COALITION FOR NORTHEAST LOUISIANA and her undergraduate degree in Human Resources from Vanderbilt University. She works with individuals, couples, and families. She works with clients who have a variety of challenges, some of which are PTSD, trauma from sexual abuse, family counseling, relationship, depression, low self-esteem, mood and anxiety struggles, stress, loss and grief, gender identity, anger management, and adjustment and transition issues. Q: What are some factors that contribute to uncertainty in children? A: Since children’s cognitive development is not fully developed until they are an adult, they do not have the COKER full capacity to problem solve challenges. They may not have learned the coping skills necessary to adapt to difficult situations. As the coronavirus outbreak has shown, life can change very quickly and very unpredictably. Children often show stress as angry outbursts, fighting, withdrawal or even physically as stomach ailments or headaches.
Q: How can parents help youth deal with uncertainty? A: Parents serve as co-regulators for their children and are a vital factor in their children’s ability to build resiliency. They have an important role in reassuring their children and lessening any anxiety that children might be feeling. The following are some way that parents can help children manage times of uncertainty: practiving self care, providing open and honest communication with children, validare your child’s emotions, provide routine and structure for the family, create a family calendar, help children focus on areas they do have control over, while practing social distancing encourage social connection. Practicing self-care is very difficult for many parents because they feel that taking time out for themselves is selfish. This could not be farther from the truth. One reason self-care is so important is because we all have mirror neurons which allow us to empathize with each other. Because of this, we subconsciously experience someone else’s emotions. Parents may unknowingly influence their children through their own emotions positively and negatively. For instance, a parent’s anxiety might influence