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RAge of the Week
Made in Chelsea. Ok. So, obviously, this week is going to be fairly easy. I’ve not exactly set myself a challenge. Finding a way to make fun of Made in Chelsea is about as difficult as hitting the ground once you jump off the top of a building - which is coincidentally what you will find yourself doing after sitting down to consume an episode of this absolute garbage. A lot of people are concerned about global warming. And rightly so - it seems like the biggest challenge that faces the human race today. Seems like. Seems. In actual fact, the biggest challenge is that Made in Chelsea has been running for 12 series. 135 hour-long episodes. 135 hours. That’s only 8 more hours than it took James Franco to cut off his fucking arm in the film 127 hours, and honestly, if Franco had been made to watch Made in Chelsea rather than get his arm stuck in a rock, I think he would have cut his arm off looooooong before the 127th hour. For those of you who don’t watch Made in Chelsea (the same people who wouldn’t be confused by a 24-hour clock or who can tie their own laces like a big boy), it is a tv show where posh sounding people basically hold glasses of wine whilst having small talk about who they have got with, will get with and want to get with. Imagine filming real life but then editing out any of the bits that make life worth living - that’s Made in Chelsea. It really made me think that potentially, Made in Chelsea is actually a stroke of genius that’s gone awry. Perhaps the original idea of the show was to take a look at our society in the 21st century and condense all of the ugliest, shallowest, narcissistic, willingly stupid, self-involved, #follow4follow, nonintrospective, masurbatory, pointless, suicide-inducing parts of that society and making a tv show as a nuanced social commentary. It was created as an attempt to hold up a mirror to the face of society; but rather than recoil in disgust, society pulled up a chair and watched, dick in hand, as we celebrate everything that makes this culture repulsive. Now they continue to pump out episodes for the cash - and who can blame them - if a bunch of idiots are throwing money at you to produce a tv show that makes a twiglet look like art, why would you stop? It’s not just that Made in Chelsea is absolute garbage, the worst part is that it’s so popular. How can so many people find entertainment in something that is so clearly endorsing the kind of lifestyle that is so fundamentally grotesque? If anyone wants any more convincing on the Theory of Evolution, the popularity of this pile of garbage laughs in the face of anybody who suggests humans were the result of any kind of Intelligent Design. Yes, all art is subjective. Everybody is allowed an opinion. It just so happens that if your opinion is that you like Made in Chelsea, you are wrong and should go and sit on the naughty step for a very, very long time. I would rather spend an hour punching myself in the face whilst lying in a bath full of extremely rusty nails than watch an episode of Made in Chelsea. The irony of this all being that I’ll probably end up watching it with my housemates next week, unfortunately. Can’t wait.
torange.biz Aleksandr Osipov
Not that Chelsea, unfortunately
Man Alive!
Greg Chapman
Rather than starting a course of meditation, therapy or just trying to be a nice person, bite editor Greg Chapman sits down and shouts at his computer about something that has been getting his goat. This week, his angry little fingers jabbed at the keyboard until something about the television show (if you can even call it that) Made in Chelsea appeared on the screen and he had to stop because he passed out in anger.