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APRIL 2019

Emma Yee Yick ‘19 & Collier Curran ‘20 EDITORS-IN-CHIEF Claudia Levey ‘19 & Veronica Suchodolski '19 MANAGING EDITORS Yudi Liu '19 CREATIVE DIRECTOR SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR POLITICS & OPINION EDITOR NEW YORK CITY LIVING EDITOR Emily Supple ‘19 Sara Hameed '20 Pavi chance '20 SOCIAL MEDIA EDITORS ASSOCIATE EDITOR Allie Goines ‘20 Naava ellenberg '21 LAYOUT DIRECTOR Aoife Henchy ‘19 STAFF WRITERS Galiba Gofur '20 Yunxiao Cherrie Zheng ‘21 Annabella Correa-Maynard '20 LAYOUT EDITOR Hadassah Solomson '20 Nicola Sheybani '22 EVENTS DIRECTOR Lillian Zhang '21 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR PHOTOSHOOT DIRECTOR Julia Tache '19 Yuki Mitsuda '21 COMMUNITY RELATIONS ASSOCIATE EDITOR DIRECTOR Kalena chiu '20 ART DIRECTOR Sara Hameed '20 STAFF WRITER Sadie Kramer '21 Annette Stonebarger '21 FEATURES EDITOR PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR Juliana Kaplan '19 HEALTH & STYLE EDITOR Peyton Ayers '21 STAFF WRITER Isabella Monaco '20 Aliya Schneider '20

THANK YOU TO THE RUTH BAYARD SMITH '72 MEMORIAL FUND FOR ITS SUPPORT OF THE BULLETIN Barnard Bulletin 3009 broadway new york, ny 10027 LIKE US ON FACEBOOK follow us on twitter follow us on instagram


2 - April 2019

A Letter From Our Editors Dearest Readers, Bet you didn’t recognize us! Welcome to the long-awaited BB revamp. We hope you appreciate the new and improved us as much as we do. While our appearance may have changed, our dedication to providing our Barnard community with thoughtful and relevant content has not. Daylight has grown longer, the air has lost its piercing chill, and flowers find the space to grow. Spring is upon us, and with it, the blossoming of our beautiful campus. This month, the Bulletin is channeling this sense of growth, carefully cultivating our physical mag along with the content inside of it. This issue we have made space for stories of growth: of a birthing doula learning to connect with patients across the boundary of language, of a Barnard computer science major creating space for herself in a Columbia-dominated curriculum and of a student navigating the intersection of Blackness and queerness on this campus: “I knew if I were to fit the mold of the stereotypical Barnard queer, it would feel disingenuous, because that would mean assimilating to white queer culture. Going on this journey meant taking the time to explore my sexuality, all while confronting the invisibility that was forced upon me by the white queer culture that I refused to view as legitimate. Without a clear idea of who I should be surrounding myself with and what I wanted to look like, I struggled to become comfortable in my queerness out of fear of being honest with myself.” We hope you find your own journey reflected within our pages. Our campus is anything but stagnant; sweet magnolias blossom, as do you. We ask you, our dear readers, to cultivate yourselves this month. Meet up with a friend you have not seen in a while. Register for a class you have always wanted to take. Develop your identity within our thriving campus community. We at the Bulletin are excited to see you all grow. With boldness and brilliance, Emma & Collier


3 - April 2019

IN THIS ISSUE SSUE 3 // Letter from the editors 5 // behind the scenes 6 // trending & playlist

HEALTH & STYLE 8 // Swiped Right Style 12 // Pass the CBD

FEATURES 14 // Let's Talk About S-E-X, Baby 16 // The View Outside My Hewitt Window 18 // Housing Lottery Hunger Games 20 // In Her Words: What It Means To Be A Computer Science Major At Barnard 22 // Under Pressure: Internship Season and Anxiety 24 // Queerness at Barnard 32 // Meet the Models

POLITICS & OPINION 34 // Tales from a Birthing Doula 36 // She Said // She Said 38 // Women in Politics: Kamala Harris 39 // Social Action Student Spotlight: Billie Pingree 40 // The Troubled Legacy of Legerfield 42 // They're Running. 44 // "Therapy" is not a Dirty Word

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT 46 // Filmmakers at Barnard 48 // Inside the Athena Film Festival 50 // Arts & Entertainment on Campus 52 // Museum of Sex

NEW YORK CITY LIVING 54 // Bites Outside the Bubble: Cowgirl


4 - April 2019



5 - April 2019

ong Coats/ oats/ Long usters Dusters

One ne Day ay at t a Time ime ((Season eason 3)) A remake of the 1975 hit sitcom, One Day at a Time is out with a new season, and—spoiler alert—it’s the best one yet.

Airpods irpods Love them or hate them, Airpods are here to stay.

Midi idi Dresses resses The perfect length to take you from work, to strolling Central Park, to dinner with friends.

ussian Doll oll Russian New Netflix show Russian Doll is captivating viewers everywhere. Only the first season is out yet, and with eight 20-ish minute episodes, it’s perfect for binging. THE BULLETIN -

6 - April 2019

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Light yet long, boxy yet chic, long coats are everyone’s new spring staple.


Nights Like This Kehlani ft. Ty Dolla $ign

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far from home ladytron


cuz i love you lizzo

one less day (Dying Young) Rob Thomas




Nasa Ariana Grande


7 - April 2019




Right Style

BY Aliya Schneider

was a pro at the Tinder Game, whatever that means. Right when I was tired of the cheesy pick-up lines and accidental swipe-rights, I met my boyfriend on the notoriously disappointing hookup app. There are people on Tinder whose bios say “We all know why we’re on here”.... but do we really? If Tinder is only meant for hookups, why do they have a Contact Us option just for success stories? Why have I made literal FRIENDS on Tinder and what can explain all the other couples that have met there as well? I believe that everyone on Tinder is there for a different reason, and most people don’t know their reason. I sure didn’t. I wasn’t looking for a relationship when I downloaded the app, but I also wasn’t looking for a one-night stand, or a hook-up, or an international buddy to tour around the city. Quite frankly, I still don’t know why I was on there. It gave me something to mindlessly turn to. When it felt like too much effort, or even too little effort, I’d get annoyed. But I kept swiping and swiping and swiping… So if you’re going to go to the lengths and efforts of actually (gasp) meeting up with someone you swiped right on, you will likely fall under one of following intentions. The One Night Stand, The First Date, and The ?????. Surprisingly often it is quite hard to discern between the three, so all I can do is to encourage communication. And give my outfit advice. Everyone’s style is so different that this may mean nothing to you. While not always the most fashionable, (how do you even define fashionable!?) I am THE BULLETIN -

a pro at dwelling on what to wear, so I’ll give you what I’d dwell on if I were in the following situations. The One Night Stand You’re going to their place for some Netflix and Chill (blech) and want to wear something you feel sexy in… and then not in. Make sure to bring safe sex supplies with you such as condoms, dental dams, and lube, and remember that consent is the most important. Just because you wear anything similar to what I’m showing or even flat out tell someone you want to have sex doesn’t mean you are obligated to do anything. I’d recommend something simple, comfy, and casual, yet sexy. If you’re going straight to someone’s place, go for something more comfy like a crop top and your favorite pair of pants. Black is safe, but red is fun. I was shook to find this cute top for $20 at full price at Urban. UO Step Sister Ribbed Cropped Cami: $20 Not Gonna Chase You Skirtall: $32.99 Forever 21 Striped Crush Velvet Dress: $10 If you’re going out first, go a velvet or denim one piece like this chic dress from Forever 21 or short skitall from Fashion Nova. I never knew what to call skirt-overall things, psh, you learn something new every day.

8 - March/April 2019

There isn’t anything as appealing as a posh fuzzy jacket. While I tried to keep the items on here affordable, this one is a whopping Urban Outfitters Full Priced Item, so try Buffalo Exchange or your favorite consignment shop for something equally flattering and comfy.

Forever 21 Floral Surplice Maxi Dress : $38

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*In case I didn’t elaborate on this enough, wearing clothes like this does not warrant anyone to expect anything from you, duh. The First Date I’m serious, they happen! Mine was at a gnocchi restaurant and improv show, and I had frantically changed from my sweaty internship button-down shirt to a floral off-the-shoulder dress with a beige lace bralette and a denim jacket. I kept my hair down, but clipped it out of my face so I wouldn’t be playing with it. I also got lost getting there, so leave extra time if you’re relying on the subway lines on the weekends, or during the summer, or during rush hour, or ever. It’s hard to tell if someone is just asking you out to dinner as an excuse to get in your pants or to actually get to know you, so keep your guard up (depending on what you’re looking for) and be your awesome self. You don’t owe anyone anything! Maybe you’ll be meeting your new best friend, partner, or maybe you’ll never talk to them again, but hopefully you got some good food out of it.


This dress is way more elegant than what I wore, but if I had this I would have worn it every day I went anywhere this past summer. wThis maxi dress looks flowy and comfortable, and super sexy.

Walmart No Boundaries Cross Back Lace Bralette with Removable Pads: $5 I’m from Vermont, and when you need something you usually end up at Walmart. We don’t even have a Target! This bralette is super comfy and the price has lowered since I got mine! It comes in a bunch of colors as well.

9 - March/April 2019

H&M Off the Shoulder Top: $9.99 If you’re not a dress person but want a sexy flair, go for one of these H&M off-the shoulder tops. Apparently animal-print is making a comeback, and there’s nothing like a good cheetah print.

H&M Pleated Skirt: $39.99 I adore these midi-length pleated skirts. Pair it with a simple sweater and you have a precious first-date outfit. The ????? The meet-up, hang-out, coffee, walk, John Jay, ?????. You want to meet up, but you have no idea what this is. You don’t really want to have an idea of what this is, or could be, until you meet this person in the flesh. Wear something that passes as a day-to-day outfit that you know you feel good in. That way you can pass it off as just making time to meet someone it doesn’t look like you dressed up for the occasion, but if you like what you see and hear, you feel like you’re killing it. PacSun Mum Blue Mom Jeans: $38.46 There is nothing like a good-fitting momjean cuffed above your favorite pair of boots.


10 - March/April 2019

H&M Joggers: $12.99 Why even wear jeans when joggers can pass as stylish despite how sweatpant-esque they can feel? Go for a clean pair of joggers with a simple top that brings out your favorite fit.

H&M Cotton T-Shirt Black/NASA: $5.99 If you want to show some of your personal style, wear a graphic tee that makes you feel like your best self and throw in a pair of big earrings

H&M Hooded Sweatshirt: $19.99 Who cares if you don’t dress like this everyday? They don’t have to know that. This sweatshirt looks super casual yet it is so hip. Pair it with whatever you’re feeling- jeans, joggers, even a plaid skirt.

The most important thing to remember in all of these situations is to wear what you feel comfortable in. Whether that’s a bodycon dress for a walk in the park or sweatpants for a bar, wear whatever makes you feel your best. It’s not what you wear but how you wear it! Hate these ideas? Need more guidance? Feel free to send your Tinder outfit stories to THE BULLETIN -

11 - March/April 2019

Pass the CBD


y Mom has been using Cannabis Oil to Recover from Breast Cancer—Here’s How It Could Help: After being diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer my mom decided to go for an alternative treatment plan. This is what science says about her treatment with this type of “medicinal marijuana.” Luckily, she caught the cancer early and opted for surgery to remove to tumor. My mom said she planned to fight the disease in part with “natural wellness therapies.” After surgery to remove her 0.8 cm tumor, my mom decided to take a different approach, despite the doctor’s recommendation for chemotherapy and radiation. My mom, who is also my best friend, is going to be fine. She will be using a new type of medicine that is often talked about today- CBD oil. Cannabis has scientifically proven properties to inhibit cancer cell growth and other natural healing remedies. “So what is CBD oil?” I remember thinking, and does it really THE BULLETIN -

have cancer-fighting powers? First, the basics: CBD stands for cannabidiol. It’s one of several compounds, called cannabinoids, found in cannabis, aka the marijuana plant. Some research shows that certain cannabinoids do have an anti-cancer effect, says Allan Frankel, M.D., a “medicinal cannabis” expert with many articles about CBD published, in southern California. Frankel explains in one article, taken as a spray or capsule, CBD oil is used to treat either the cancer itself or the side effects of the disease or chemotherapy.” Unlike smoking marijuana, however CBD oil won’t get a person high because it doesn’t contain enough of the high-producing cannabinoid known as THC. Not getting high is part of the appeal of CBD oil for many patients,” he adds. The American Cancer Society (ACS) also takes a cautious stance on cannabis in general. “Data shows that it inhibits growth of cancer cells in petri dishes, and in animal studies, but it’s limited data and I can’t recommend it for human use outside of a human

12 - /April 2019

Illustration by Yudi Liu, Design by Alexa Silverman

by Chelsea Glasser

clinical trial,” Otis Brawley, MD, chief medical officer of the ACS, explains on their website. “The initial data indicates it should be researched more though.” While recovering from surgery, my mom used CBD drops as an alternative to the narcotic pain-killers she was prescribed. She reported significantly lower pain about 15 minutes after placing 5-10 drops under her tongue. After her post-op recovery, she continued to use the CBD oil as an anti-inflammatory, to treat PMS symptoms, relieve muscle aches and for anxiety relief. CBD oil and other products are an alternative to the sometimes painful and harmful treatments against breast cancer. CBD is very effective and very easy method of treating the aftermath of the disease. Compared to conventional methods of treatment, this miracle oil does more good to the body while doing nothing negative and leaving most patients feeling better. CBD Oil Has a Number Of Medicinal Properties: There are a lot of studies that have discovered a number of medical advantages that you can get by using CBD oil. Some of these are: • Anti-inflammatory • Analgesic (pain-relief) • Metabolic syndrome (diabetes, obesity) • Antidepressant • Anticonvulsant • Anti-anxiety We actually have an endocannabinoid system: Humans have an endocannabinoid system—meaning our bodies know how to process these THE BULLETIN -

naturally occurring chemicals. The human body and the cannabis plant both make cannabinoids, so we are biologically programmed to be able to use CBD effectively to help us reduce inflammation and pain. And, CBD hemp oil is legal in all 50 states. There is zero evidence anywhere that CBD is addictive. This is because CBD does not act on any receptors in the brain that would produce addiction. How-to: In dozens of states, health food stores, pharmacies, and even supermarkets and restaurants are carrying CBD products. That includes capsules, oils, balms/lotions and edibles, including gummy candy, honey, coffees, and alcoholic beverages, among others. These can be purchased at select stores or online. At places like Bubby’s in Tribeca, down the 1 train from Barnard, they’ve newly introduced CBD-infused sweetener to their extensive menu. You can now warm up with a CBD infused latte or cool down with a CBD lemonade. There is also the option to sweeten any coffee and tea beverage with the special CBD sweetener. CBD oil has been studied for its potential role in treating many common health issues. Research on the potential health benefits of CBD oil is ongoing, so new therapeutic uses for this natural remedy are sure to be discovered. Though there is much to be learned about the effectiveness and safety of CBD, results from recent studies suggest that CBD may provide a safe, powerful natural treatment for many health issues.

13 - April 2019

Features Let’s Talk About



t’s 2019, so why aren’t we talking about sex more? For a campus that is so fixated on hookup culture and casual sex, discussion of ~bedroom encounters~ does not occur as frequently as one would assume, nor do Barnard students feel as comfortable talking about these topics as one might expect. Based on interviews with several Barnard women, embarrassment and fear often act as barriers for having open, productive conversations about the questions everyone has. Topics such as masturbation, oral sex, and frequent unsafe sex practices remain taboo. Even amongst best friends, sex life specifics can seem like too much to ask about and share. “I’ve had conversations with people about sex in which they give me information that I just didn’t need to know, and that makes the conversation uncomfortable



for both of us,” one sophomore said. “There is a time and place for talking about sex, and that time and place is not everywhere all the time.” That being said, discussions surrounding sex are undeniably beneficial for everyone. It is unhealthy to internalize questions about sex that could reaffirm others’ beliefs or call into question what they were told in their seventh grade sex education class. Whether you feel comfortable talking about your favorite vibrator in a room filled with people, or would rather tell your three best friends about your most recent sexual conquest, it is important that these topics remain open to encourage healthy and safe behaviors. It would be fair to assume that comfortability with talking about sex comes with age and exposure to these conversations. First-year students said that conversations surrounding oral sex and masturbation do not happen often, and are met

14 - April 2019

Layout by Willa Smith

by Gabrielle obregon

Disclaimer: The Bulletin does not own any images on this page

with silence and discomfort when they are broached. “Something that should be talked about more is the process of sexual acts being reciprocated,” one first-year student said. Barnard women have noticed a stark disparity in sexual pleasure. A 2016 article from Medical Daily confirms that “often young women are psychologically pressured into giving oral sex.” Taking this fact into account, it is essential that conversations regarding oral sex and feeling pressured in sexual situations remains open and fear does not hinder women from speaking out. Navigating conversations that involve people of different sexualities is something that a majority of students have not encountered. Since the 1960s, Barnard has prided itself in their LGBTQ+ initiatives, boasting the oldest LGBTQ student organization in the nation after partnering with Columbia to create Columbia Queer Alliance in 1967. Almost all of the people interviewed feel as though they do not need to change the way they converse with others if there


are people who identify as a different sexuality. As one student said: “As long as you are respectful of others and honest, you don’t have to treat the situation differently.” Many students agree that the discomfort and awkwardness that may be felt when having these conversations can only dissipate the more often they occur. All students interviewed asked for a normalization of conversations surrounding sex. For acts that ultimately result in pleasure and are a part of life for people of all sexualities, sex is not talked about frequently enough. Conversations surrounding sex can not only be seen as “a fun bonding experience,” but also a way to learn about different sexual acts, experimentation, positions, etc. Rather than categorizing sex talk as dirty and taboo, it is important to try to transform conversations about sex into learning experiences and opportunities to ask questions and receive advice about the most intimate and pleasurable parts of life.

15 - April 2019

The My

Outside window


he first thing I did when I walked into my Hewitt 5 single was look out the window. Wow. Mom! Look at this! The day of the housing lottery, I got one of the last Hewitt rooms facing Claremont, eager for a view other than the inside of the quad, or the neighbor’s windows and the garbage bins across from my Plimpton shaft. The sticky air from pre-NSOP heat during my move-in as an OL last summer proved to be more exciting than I anticipated, with my very own New York view. Not only could I see the street, but buildings, beautiful buildings, and even Riverside Park. When it isn’t dreadfully hot anymore, I thought, I would bike along the path I ran on as a first-year. Little did I realize my bike would become no more than a piece of decor in my room. THE BULLETIN -

Maybe when it is not so dreadfully cold I’ll use it. With this window, I would get sunshine. My mom told me that when the leaves fell off the trees in the winter I would be able to see the river. It seemed too good to be true. But here I am, looking even past the river, at the buildings across the water. I wake up to pull my shade up and get a glimpse of day. When I come home for some late afternoon reading, the sun is bright, but so tempting to look at. Even when it sets too early it has a grand exit. When there’s snow, I hear the plows bang down the road at night. Tonight I see a body walking, another couple walking together, a group of freshmen leaving the park, occupying the quiet street out my window. The building across the street from me has apartments, not dorm

16 - April 2019

Illustration by Susan Steinfield

by Aliya Schneider

rooms. Out my little window and into theirs, I see big living room plants and family-sized couches and bookshelves and a terrace. An alleyway, or, more accurately, a parking area, lets out a rim of light under the gate. The building next door to this apartment bends around the corner, and the street curves around the bend. It is as if the architects of Morningside Heights wanted to make sure that I would have a view of Riverside Drive. The cars are parked across the way, and the naked trees let me see the lights on the buildings across the river. Like kids lined up on those suburban bumper stickers that have drawn on stick figures for everyone in the family, one is a bit taller than the other. Each building has a bright light on top, forming an urban constellation. I wonder how many people have looked out of their window and THE BULLETIN -

into mine. Maybe none. I love Barnard, but looking out and being able to see not only Claremont, Riverside Park, or the river, but the buildings beyond, I remember that there are endless possibilities of where I will end up when I no longer have this Hewitt window. Maybe I’ll be shafted again, and maybe I won’t even have a window. But, the beauty of it all is that right now I have it, and safe inside the Barnard gates, I have a view of a sliver of the outside world. Hopefully Barnard will have prepared me. Hopefully I have prepared myself. It’s time for bed and this darn curtain doesn’t know the difference between pulling down or pulling up. I wrap my face in my throw blanket to block the light coming in, and in the morning I wake up, looking out my Hewitt window.

17 - april 2019


ousing. Housing. Housing. I’m sitting in Diana. The two girls next to me are discussing the pros and cons of living in Plimpton. I’m in Milstein, and my friend is creating a spreadsheet to determine what her chances are of a single, non-shafted room in 616. My junior friends joke about how they’re going to be living in the quad for the fourth year in a row. They’re quad-lifers. I’m in my own room when my roommate collapses on her bed and sighs, saying, “A Hewitt single can’t be that bad, right? And I’ll only be there for a semester anyway.” Everyone is caught up in the housing fever. Housing can make a break or a friendship, because there’s nothing more important in your Barnard career than the housing lottery. To all those that live off campus, be grateful you don’t have to go through this confusing, stressful time. Trying to piece together a group with a decent lottery number average and then sussing out which dorms fit your group’s needs and wants is harder than getting out of your 2:40 and trying to find a seat in Milstein. There’s a lot that goes into housing: Do you want to munch down


on celery for the first half of fall semester? Do you want a kitchen with an oven that’s never going to be cleaned out properly? Do you want to strategically time your studying schedule to the always-latebut-the-one-time-you’re-running-late-it-leaves Barnard Shuttle to save yourself from the cold, 10 minute walk home? Do you want to live next door to your current significant other, because that’s always the world’s best idea? Logistically, you have the best options as a six-person suite. But who has six friends? Actually, who has two friends that are willing to squeeze into the Plimpton double, while the rest of your friend group gets to enjoy the comfort and space a single brings? If you do have friends that are willing to take one for the team, be grateful. Hug them tight and swipe them for a Diana smoothie. They deserve all the smoothies. The housing lottery seems like the end of the world with multiple bad endings. What if I don’t get the suite I want? What if I have to go to the 123 lottery? And the worst of

18 - April 2019

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Housing Lottery

Hunger Games by Maya Sanchez

the worst: What if I have to go to guaranteed housing? Fear not, dear Barnard students. Housing isn’t the end of the world. Whether going through the lottery or going through guaranteed housing, you’re going to be living just fine next year. Sure, not everything is sunshine and butterflies, but you’ll have a place to call home! Maybe you’ll be living with your friends, maybe you’ll have a chance to make some new friends! Maybe one of your


best friends will be roommates with your ex-not-ex! And on the bright side: No matter where in Barnard housing you end up, your clothes will never be fully dry after a single cycle! Aside from the snark, there are worse things than housing. After all, we’re all still going to Bold Brilliant Barnard, a college of the Greatest University in the Greatest City of the World. Sure, it feels like it matters oh-so-much and, to a certain extent, it does. Over the past year, I’ve grown incredibly close to one of my friends as we walk back from Milstein together at 2am. The conversations we’ve had in the ten minute walk are thoughtful and insightful, sometimes a little loopy as our brains weren’t fully functioning at the early morning hours. And we don’t even live together; we just happen to live in the same building. So, even though housing is just around the corner and it feels like it’s the one thing that people won’t stop talking about, the housing craze will pass. You’ll live where you live and the world will still turn, even if you get a bad lottery number.

19 - April 2019

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//In Her Words: { What It Means To Be A

Computer Science


roud. That is the first thing I think when asked how I feel about being a computer science major at Barnard. Proud that I came to Barnard being wholly afraid of programming, and will be graduating in May with a degree in computer science. Proud that I am a queer woman and a tech bro. Proud that I have somehow managed to survive the absurdity and of navigating the nastily hard requirements of a major not technically at my college. My first semester at Barnard majoring in computer science was the furthest thing from my mind. I loved the humanities in high school, and fought hard for survival in my calculus classes. But, as an eager admitted student perusing the Barnard website, I came across information on a weekly class teaching the basics of HTML and CSS. I signed up because I was determined to make college a time of Trying New Things. By the end of the semester this (un-graded) class had become my top priority; creating websites out of nothing was far more interesting than any of my intro lectures. By the end of my first year I had successfully completed my first computer science


course and was almost certain about my intended major, though it would take another year until I actually declared. My late declaration was mostly fueled by not knowing who in the computer science department I would need to sign my form. Stalling to declare — despite my love for the subject — is reflective of my overall experience in the major. In many ways, the Columbia’s computer science department is just not set up for Barnard students — generally not due to incompetence or malice — but because of the complex “four school relationship.” The computer science building, located on the fourth floor of Mudd, requires swipe access to enter during non-business hours. This swipe access is automatically granted to all Columbia computer science majors upon declaration, allowing them access to classrooms, administrative offices, and meeting spaces during nights and weekends. It took more than a year after I declared my major until I was granted swipe access. Getting this access included requesting access through the computer science department portal, and emailing

20 - April 2019


// by Eleanor Murguia

Major At Barnard department administrators multiple times. Barnard friends and classmates in the major have described similar experiences. While this swipe access may not seem incredibly important, it is actually key to ensuring access to after hours projects and Teaching Assistant meetings. Simple logistics, which most CC/SEAS majors likely do not think twice about, can become major hassles for Barnard students. This encompasses everything from ensuring all Columbia computer science courses are properly listed on Barnard Student Planning (upper level classes or special projects often are not) to constantly requesting Google Drive access for class Google Forms or recitation notes. This logistical stress unhealthily coexists with the fact that the major is incredibly difficult, and the amount of Barnard faculty advisor support is essentially non-existent. I have been assigned various Columbia major advisors, who have been very kind and as helpful as they can be when they have received seemingly no instruction on Barnard student planning. So yes, logistically and beau-

tractically being a computer science major at Barnard often is not very fun. It has involved quite a lot of self-advocacy to get past unnecessary obstacles. But, despite all this, if you asked me whether you should major in computer science, my answer would probably still be yes. Do I wish I had taken fewer three hundred person classes in a college that boasts about having more than seventy percent of classes with fewer than twenty people? Definitely. Has taking an amazing English seminar this semester made me wish I had spent fewer nights rage quitting programming assignments and more reading and writing, which is what I thought my college experience would be like when I started first-year with an intended history major? Completely. But being a computer science major at Barnard has enabled me to take a variety of liberal arts classes — a privilege I know majors at SEAS often do not get. It has enabled to me to grow my skills and suffer the pain of the major within a small, supportive community. Most of all, it has enabled me be a badass and well-rounded computer whizz.


21 - April 2019

Under Pressure: Internship Season and Anxiety ’ve felt restless and unsettled since I arrived on campus in January. For a while, I couldn’t place why I was feeling this way, but as I perused LinkedIn for the umpteenth time, I understood. The impending stress of internships was already getting to me, before it was even time to apply. I was spending significant time each day thinking about the process, making lists of where to apply while sitting in a lecture, pausing Netflix to make note of deadlines before I went to sleep. Even halfway through the semester, I am still behaving this way. Anxiety affects every aspect of my life, and internships are no exception. It often feels as though the God or gods of this universe specially crafted the perfect storm to ensure I am an anxious mess for months on end: Create millions of potential internship options. Make 90% of them almost impossible to find. Once they are found, create strict and arbitrary deadlines. Emphasize proficiency in Excel. Test that proficiency in Excel. Have hundreds of people apply, and interview some of them within one week, but leave everyone else on read. Don’t even send a rejection because they’re not worth the time.


Much of my anxiety manifests in overthinking and overpreparing. Applying to internships only feeds into these tendencies, from obsessively checking for job postings to writing, rewriting, and re-rewriting my cover letter. To make matters worse, these anxious behaviors are rewarded. Those who check back most frequently can be the first applicants for a position. A well-written and edited cover letter is appealing to hiring managers who have read far too many typos. Anxiety translates to conscientiousness when applying for internships. “You have your shit together,” my friends say. When I’m in my room at night, quite literally pulling my hair out under the weight of kickstarting my career, their words couldn’t seem farther from the truth. I have to wonder: Is it hopeless? Am I bound to spend my entire career in a cycle of rumination and obsession? I’d like to believe that’s not the case. On the most basic level, simply acknowledging that I have this problem has done wonders. I have confided in my closest family and friends that internships are a source of anxiety; therefore, they know to support and distract me when I get caught up in applications. I have also started journaling. I used to

22 - April 2019

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by Collier Curran

think that writing things down would only make me feel worse, but even a Word Doc on my computer feels like someone is silently listening. I tend to hide my failures from those around me; I experienced a full panic response when I sent a company the wrong cover letter, but felt too ashamed to tell anyone. I am working towards being comfortable enough with mistakes to freely share them—this article is a step!—but for now, writing them down lets me exhale. I am slowly learning to accept both the failures and the victories. Where I would previously consider a day off from the job search a disservice to myself, I now see it as prioritizing


mental health. I force myself to check my email less frequently, and to be fully present in class, in social settings, and on the weekends. I have begun viewing anything I receive back from a company as a positive. I recently received an invitation to complete a virtual interview. Instead of telling myself everyone with a halfway-decent resume gets offered those, I chose to congratulate myself and to accept the outcome no matter what it is. The best advice I can offer those who experience internship anxiety is to confide in those closest to you and also to confide in yourself; often the words of wisdom you give the people around you are the ones you need the most.

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Queerness by Daria Forde



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would like to preface this piece by stating that a monolithic queer womxn of color experience does not exist at Barnard. Exploring your queerness as a womxn of color, especially as a Black womxn, is such a multi-faceted journey that I know I will never be able to completely relate to every person’s experience. That being said, I hope that some readers will be able to heavily relate and see themselves in the experiences I describe, so that they feel understood and visible. Oftentimes I feel pressured to perform my queerness on campus. As a Black woman in Barnard’s predominantly white queer community, I used to feel invisible. Although it was amazing to finally be in a space where I could explore different parts of myself, it took me a while to be comfortable in that journey, because I did not see myself in the queer womxn who were most visible on campus. What I saw when I arrived was so far off from what I grew up around, which is only twenty blocks uptown from campus. I knew if I were to fit the mold of the stereotypical Barnard queer, it would feel disingenuous, because that would mean assimilating to white queer culture. Going on this journey meant taking the time to explore my sexuality, all while confronting the invisibility that was forced upon me by the white

Photographers: Emma Noelle (Film) Yuki Mitsuda (Digital) Art Direction: Yuki Mitsuda Models: Ana Jiménez Sam Azanza Sierra Douglas THE BULLETIN -

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queer culture that I refused to view as legitimate. Without a clear idea of who I should be surrounding myself with and what I wanted to look like, I struggled to become comfortable in my queerness out of fear of being honest with myself. I will always cherish the friendships I made early on in my college experience because they encouraged me to become celebrate my Blackness. Yet, I often found myself in heteronormative spaces that never pushed me to confront my sexuality. Many times I would discuss my queer romantic relations with my straight friends, and I left these conversations feeling unheard. I knew my friends supported me, but I felt I would have to choose between my straight Black friends and white queer culture in order to full embody my queer identity. As a result I remained loyal to my Blackness, feeling a sense of emptiness because I was searching for a part of myself in places that I would never find it. At the time, it felt safer to follow the same narrative as my straight Black friends, because I felt that I was always Black before I was queer. When I walk outside and interact with people, I am first judged based on the color of my skin as opposed to my sexual orientation, which is significantly less visible. Because I created this binary between my race and my sexuality, I prevented myself from seeing the beauty in being a Black queer woman. I opened myself up to exploring my queerness (and I am abTHE BULLETIN -

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solutely still in that process) as I grew more willing to be vulnerable in my friendships and relationships. I began growing into myself through the connections I formed with queer people who don’t fit the performative white mold that is so prevalent on Barnard’s campus. In the past, I felt invisible amongst queer people, because white queers dominated the conversations and the spaces I was in that represented queerness. These conversations and spaces included art spaces on campus where they would produce or discuss something, think it was original, but not realize how much white queer culture and vernacular is actually stolen from Black culture. It was frustrating that how unknown it was that everything popular, and most parts of queer “culture” comes from Black people. The only way I was able to exit this state of continuous anger and frustration was by seeking solace in the Black queer womxn, who showed me that I didn’t have to fit a mold of the white queer aesthetic for the sake of being seen. Rather than feeding into the performativity that circulates through queer spaces and friend groups on campus, I realized I made more of a statement by existing as a Black queer woman. Of course, expressing your queerness is valid; we have been forced to be silent about our sexuality for years. But there comes a point where white queers silence people who don’t appear to present themselves as queer. The people erased in these performative moments are often THE BULLETIN -

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Black womxn. It took me a lot of time to realize that my anger is a valid emotion to feel, and that there will always be moments where I am angered by my surroundings. This anger arises in both the aesthetics and activities throughout campus, which can be especially frustrating when I am trying to enjoy an experience, and it is disrupted by my anger towards the people who are in the same space. Over time it becomes difficult to attend campus art events, because I enter with the intention of admiring my friends’ art and appreciating other students’ art, but quickly realize a lot of the content being produced is white queer nonsense derived from Black culture. This nonsense is not only in the art given a platform on campus, but even in the ways that a lot of white queers dress; much of it is based on Black aesthetics and fashion. I understand appreciating other cultures and aesthetics, but I cannot accept how desirable parts of hood culture are romanticized, while Black queer womxn’s voices are silenced in artistic spaces throughout

Barnard. For awhile I was constantly living in a state of anger and it made me extremely jaded, but I am incredibly blessed that I am at a place where I don’t feel alone in my experience, and know that the large range of emotions I have is valid. It was important for me to go through that phase of being angry and it is a state that I’m comfortable with reentering because having that fluidity of going through a range of emotions is natural, especially as a queer Black woman. However, I also knew that I needed to confront why I was constantly angry and decide how I was going to move forward, so that I was no longer holding myself back from developing my character, new relationships, and having new experiences. I am lucky that I found people, especially queer Black womxn, who taught me to be patient with myself as I grew. Once I became more honest with myself and had people around me who encouraged me to be honest with myself, I no longer felt guilty THE BULLETIN -

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about being attracted to people outside of my race. I became more open to building connections with people who pushed me to see the intersection between my parts of my identity. At Barnard, I often created a general idea about different groups of queer people, and refused to get to know individuals on a personal level because I thought I already knew how they would treat me. Eventually, I realized that I was closing myself off from building friendships with and dating certain people because I feared being vulnerable with people who are different from me. I still struggle with vulnerability, because my main priority will always be to protect myself against being fetishized in a romantic relationship and tokenized in friendships. However, I have grown to the point where I can be aware of ingenuity in my relationships and in any spaces I enter, remain secure in my identity, and not hold myself back from forming connections that have great potential.


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Meet the Models Sierra Douglas Being queer at Barnard has definitely had its ups and downs, but I found my community immediately. I experience joy when I celebrate my queer friends’ achievements, when we just exist unapologetically. I’ve been able to embrace myself, fluidity and intersectionality over these past years. Finding spaces on campus was easy for me: I’m a longtime member and now board member for Club Q, and I also attend Proud Colors, a group of wonderful queer people of color. I think it’s important to have these intersectional queer spaces, so all voices and experiences can be heard and shared.

Ana Jiménez


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Sam Azanza Growing up queer in the Philippines, a notoriously conservative country, I never truly felt like I belonged. I went to a local Catholic school my entire life, where my identity was outwardly unaccepted by the administration and faculty. Being at Barnard, I am overwhelmed by the support my teachers and peers give me in order to thrive in a society that marginalizes gender minorities. I feel like I am able to succeed in a community that does not isolate me based on my racial and gender identity. Here, I meet and interact with people I identify with and I don't have to blur my identity in order to be respected both inside and outside of the classroom. At first, it was hard to come to terms with my own self and even my pronouns as I was used to a place that would bury me because of this. Barnard, however, in its ethos and mission, allows me to grow not despite my identity but because of it– they see me for who I am and empower me to prosper and achieve my dreams.


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P&O Ta l e s f ro m a

Birthing by Samantha Shih


s many pre-health students are painfully aware, gleaning clinical experience-- and as much of it as possible-- before embarking on the long road to graduate school is extremely important. Not only is it necessary to double and triple check that this is the right career path, but there is a serious gap between the organic chemistry synthesis problems we practice and the actual direct application of medicine for living, breathing human patients. It is this complex merger of history, anthropology, and sociology that impacts the way in which doctors, midwives, and nurses provide care just as significantly as scientific or technological advances do. During my spring semester of 2018, a fellow Barnard student inTHE BULLETIN -

troduced me to a volunteer opportunity that immediately and drastically caught my attention. She trained to be a doula through an organization on Long Island that operates out of the labor and delivery unit at NYU Winthrop. One formal definition of a doula, from the DONA International home page, is “a trained professional who provides continuous physical, emotional, and informational support to a mother before, during, and shortly after childbirth to help her achieve the healthiest, most satisfying experience possible.” In my own words, I explain to the women I meet in the hospital that “doulas are here to mother the mother”. There is an entire team of medically trained professionals that are here to monitor every clinical aspect of mom and baby. A

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Disclaimer: The Bulletin does not own any images on this page


Disclaimer: The Bulletin does not own any images on this page

doula connects the gap between the clinical experience and the emotional experience. Upon showing up to a shift at the hospital, I never know what I am going to get. One fateful afternoon, I checked the patient monitor to see the stats: dilation, effacement, anesthesia. By determining how far along these women were in labor, I scoped out the specific patients to whom I wanted to introduce myself. After checking in with the charge nurse, she asked me quickly and nonchalantly if I spoke Spanish. Sheepishly, I said yes. I had been learning Spanish since I was 11 years old, but only in the context of a classroom with other non-native speakers. She probably only wanted my help briefly to translate a few words to a patient. I could never anticipate what would happen next. Before I knew it, I was walking into a mother’s room politely introducing myself in Spanish, with the pseudo-expectation that she would stop my stammering by her own interjection in English. I quickly realized that this woman spoke not one word of English. For the first hour, I timidly tried asking different questions about her older daughter, her time in the United States, and even her home life. Her contractions were a punctuation in our shy, yet heartfelt small talk. Every single time that a nurse changed the rate of her I.V. drip, or a resident did a pelvic exam, I grappled to explain with concision and clarity what they were doing and why they


were doing it. I was forced to project a level of confidence and stability in a situation where I felt everything but. I sweat for this woman to a degree that all healthcare providers must for their patients. I contorted my body, grappled to speak a different language, and exposed my heart as just an essential healing tool as my hands or my head. Medicine is not calculating binding energy for different nuclides with lightning fast efficiency to 9 significant figures. Medicine is not drawing the correct Gaussian surface in order to take advantage of the direction of the electric field. And medicine is definitely not memorizing all of the minutiae of every step of step of Friedel-Crafts Acylation.

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She Said // She Said :


Yes: By Swati Madankumar

accines are no stranger to students. These pesky shots are definitely not the most convenient; actually, some people opt to not receive them. However, vaccines help us build up biological immunity against certain infectious diseases, and not receiving them puts both one and one’s fellow community members at risk for contracting disease. This article hopes to dispel medical-related qualms commonly cited by people who oppose vaccination: “There is no need for vaccines.” Yes, there have been improvements in medicine, sanitation, infrastructure, and education, leading to improved societal health and news reports of disease outbreaks in the United States being uncommon. However, decreases in the incidence of vaccine-preventable diseases have coincided with the advent of the vaccinations against them, and thus claims against vaccines are mislead by their own success. If people increasingly refuse vaccines, this success can be reversed. Regardless of whether the incidence of these diseases had decreased to this extent or not, it is important to remember that 1) foreigners traveling to the United States (or even US citizens themselves returning from trips abroad) can bring some unwanted, infectious ‘souvenirs’ and 2) people who are allergic or unresponsive to vaccines are not immunized and depend on the assurance of ‘herd’ immunity, immunity conferred to a population that has a high proportion of its constituents being vaccinated. “Vaccines cause autism.” In the late nineties and early 200s, ‘scientific’ studies, headed by British then-physician Andrew Wakefield, were published claiming that the Measles, Mumps, and Rubella (MMR) vacTHE BULLETIN -

cine causes autism. These studies had serious methodological flaws, were repudiated by studies showing the contrary, and were ultimately retracted, along with Wakefield’s medical license. Although they were nothing more than a sensationalized tabloid headline, these studies unfortunately had an indelible impact and have thwarted the medical and scientific communities’ attempts to improve the health of the population. Other post-hoc assertions that ailments that occur or are diagnosed in childhood are caused by vaccines should similarly be regarded cautiously. “Receiving multiple vaccinations at once is harmful.” Children can oftentimes receive multiple vaccinations during one visit, which is understandably frightening. The way vaccines trigger immunity is by exposing the individual to a weakened, if not killed, version of the pathogen behind the disease the vaccine aims to prevent, and so multiple vaccines technically implies multiple pathogens. However, people, children especially, are exposed to numerous live pathogens every day, but generally do not become sick every day- showing that their immune system is able to handle it. So, if there is no health risk posed by it, receiving multiple vaccines in one visit net beneficial compared to spreading them out because it saves time, money, and emotional distress, and aims to build protection as early as possible. So yes, it would be nice to have you or your future child’s fun days in the sun uninterrupted by a car ride to the doctor, and to leave not with a lollipop, but with the hurt of a needle’s pinch and a sore upper arm. But before indulging this fantasy, make sure that you are not indulging false, unscientifically backed information.

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Should Mandatory Vaccinations Exist? Yes: By Julia Coccaro

S Illustration by Angela Tran

ome of the most significant qualms people have with mandatory vaccinations are centered around morality. For some, such as the Church of Illumination and Universal Family Church, vaccinations infringe upon constitutionally-protected religious freedoms. To many, it is more general: the government should not have the authority to intervene neither in a parent’s method of raising their child nor in anyone’s personal medical choices. As a staunch prochoice activist, I agree with the latter sentiment; however, this particular choice isn’t personal—it’s public. Community immunity, or “herd immunity,” is a concept meaning when a critical portion (the percentage of those who must be vaccinated in order to provide this herd immunity) of the population is vaccinated against a contagious disease, it is unlikely that an outbreak of this disease will occur, so the majority of the members of the community will be protected. This is important for certain groups who not only are not, but cannot be vaccinated due to age, poor health, pregnancy, etc. Thus, when a parent chooses not to vaccinate their child for the sake of that child’s “health” and “safety,” they are in reality endangering the health and safety of those who are unwillingly susceptible THE BULLETIN -

to these contagious diseases and rely on herd immunity to stay alive.

Another common argument against mandatory vaccinations is their artificiality. While it’s true that natural immunity lasts longer in some cases than vaccine-induced immunity can, the risks of natural infection outweigh the risks of immunization for every recommended vaccine. Additionally, to minimize the effectiveness of vaccines due to their manmade properties is to dismiss the positive impacts of essentially all of Western medicine, from aspirin to chemotherapy, which all carry miniscule risks equivalent to those of vaccinations (which, as we have seen in the recent discourse regarding mandatory vaccinations, are comparatively broadcasted as far more alarming). As Swati explains, there is overwhelming evidence that vaccines are safe, effective, and absolutely necessary. While personal freedoms are important and fundamental to our American identity, it is imperative that we set aside our individual grievances and attachments when others’ lives are at stake.

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Women in Politics:

Kamala Harris


amala Harris, current US Senator from California and hopeful 2020 democratic nominee, first spent over 20 years working as a prosecutor in the San Francisco area and served as California’s attorney general. In her role, she prosecuted criminal organizations, played a critical role in defending the Affordable Care Act, helped in achieving marriage equality, and won $20 billion for the middle-class who were facing foreclosure during the Great Recession. In 2016, Kamala Harris, the daughter of two immigrant parents, became America’s first Indian-American Senator and California’s first black Senator in 2016. On Martin Luther King Jr. Day of this year, she announced her candidacy for the 2020 presidential election. She hosted a launch rally for her campaign shortly after in her hometown of Oakland, California. Her advisors estimated that over 20,000 people were in attendance, even larger than the crowd that Barack Obama drew when he announced his run. While she has tried not to tie herself to any one issue, she has followed her party’s shift leftward as she supports Medicare for All, hasn’t taken corporate donations, and has recently supported the legalization of marijuana. She brings together a plethora of experience both from her judicial work, but THE BULLETIN -

also her public service background in local, state, and federal government. Despite her experience as attorney general, Kamala Harris is positioning herself as a candidate that is not pigeonholed into one specific ideology. She places herself as someone with a clear history in fighting for the people. Harris and her team claim to have the power to put together a winning coalition of voters, which is a clear democratic priority after the election of President Trump. However, while Senator Harris claims to be a “progressive prosecutor,” many point to examples of times when she upheld wrongful convictions in cases where the tampering of evidence, false testimony, and suppression of crucial information was later found. That is not to take away from her very progressive record in the Senate and overall record as a prosecutor. However, many are claiming that her title of being a “progressive prosecutor” is generous and are calling for, at the bare minimum, an apology for those cases she dismissed after misconduct was found. Regardless of her previous experiences, if Senator Kamala Harris were elected, she would be the first woman, the first Asian-American woman, and the first African-American woman as president, which would be nothing short of historic.

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by Katie Petersen

Social Action Student Spotlight: Billie Pingree


aught up in the frenzy of midterms and attempts to ward of stress culture, it can sometimes be difficult to remember the privilege that comes with a Barnard education. Conversely, for those that don’t come from comfortable backgrounds of wealth and seemingly “guaranteed” paths in life, it can feel like you cannot integrate successfully, and thus should not even try for institutions such as Barnard. This feeling of exclusion and class divide has lead to a well-studied phenomenon known as “undermatching”; high school students will only apply to schools that are inexpensive at face value, but do not meet the academic rigor or resourcefulness they may require. However, what does not meet the eye is that often times, more competitive and often private and expensive schools are in fact the best places for them to be. It goes beyond just the importance of fitting in with the values and student body of the university. These well-endowed schools often also have more robust financial aid opportunities and offices available both to decrease the amount of debt students have upon graduation, and ensure that students are supported by administration to stay on track for a four-year graduation. While Barnard still has much room for THE BULLETIN -

by Sophia Liu improvement in this area, we are still proudly one of the leading institutions in support low-income, diverse populations throughout their higher-education journey. Not all the work being done to increase education accessibility is done from the school’s perspective nor from such a high level. Matriculate is a Bloomberg philanthropy that has established clubs on multiple college campuses, capitalizing on the peer-to-peer relationship that college student can form with high schoolers to advise them through the college application process. After a semester of intensive training, about 50 Columbia and Barnard students are ready to meet, support and encourage four high schoolers through one of the most tumultuous periods of their lives. These college advisors are not molded out of nothing by magic. This month’s student spotlight, Billie Pingree, highlights her work as a head advisor. Her crucial role helping and supporting advisors as they help high schoolers is what keeps the Matriculate club not only afloat, but cohesive and fruitful. She has helped recruited the largest group of new college advisors at Columbia to date (72 students!) while also interning at the official Matriculate office.

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The Troubled Legacy of Lagerfeld o one wants to see curvy women.” Problems in the French health care system are caused by “all the diseases caught by people who are too fat.” Muslims are “the worst enemies” of the Jewish people; the #MeToo movement is tiresome and The Princess of England’s sister Pippa Middleton’s face is unappealing and she “should only show her back.” These are not the words plucked from a tirade on a subreddit or your strange uncle’s Facebook comments. These are decades worth of comments from interviews of Karl Lagerfeld, the former creative director of Chanel who passed away in late February. Despite this legacy, celebrities rushed to social media posting lengthy, heartfelt messages and pictures memorializing the former fashion world icon. Lagerfeld was celebrated for his pioneering artistic vision and received gratitude from the many models whose careers he helped propel to massive stardom. Few acknowledge his extensively documented history of explicitly offensive and crude statement. The collective glorification of Lagerfeld is situated within a much larger propensity to romanticize the deaths of important figures (read: old, white guys.) This is saliently observed


in last year’s passage of former President George H.W. Bush and Senator John McCain. The public heralded Bush and McCain as saints. Their political successes and purportedly humanitarian work overshadowing their respective decades of instrumentalizing policies to marginalize folks, like McCain’s opposition to gay marriage and abortions, and wreak violence, such as Bush’s Gulf War of 1991, which was subversively for the purpose of oil. Many of their public mourners called for people to not speak ill of the dead. Yet, it is imperative to not allow the social taboo of criticizing the deceased to supercede any and all injustices a person had committed. There is a difference between senselessly and crassly maligning a person versus the legitimate invocation of their reprehensible comments and injurious behavior-- especially when the very people decrying the critics of these men are from the people who had been affected by these men’s actions. In one Twitter exchange, supermodel Cara Delevingne, who said she was moved to tears by the passage of Lagerfeld, urged actress and activist Jameela Jamil to not paint him as a “bad person” and that “living in the past and bringing up things that have already

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Layout by Alexa Silverman


by Rosa munson-blatt

Disclaimer: The Bulletin does not own any images on this page

happened” is not productive. Queer Eye stylist Tan France also took to Twitter to hail Lagerfeld as a visionary and dismissed the former Chanel designer’s viewpoints, explaining “people of a certain age get a pass.” Delevingne and France are among many famous figures that purport themselves to be social justice advocates, including for LGBTQ rights, and thus they should know far better than to delegate “things that have already happened” to the past -- only in the last decade have the trailblazers of the revolutionary Stonewall Riots been named and come into public knowledge and only about five years ago did England and the United States legalize gay marriage. Single events and comments should not be recognized as relics of the past as much as the systems that underpin them should not be; which gets to the root of why Lagerfeld’s many remarks are so troubling. They are not just blasé, fringe assertions by a quirky celebrity. They contribute to structures that perpetuate misogyny, fatphobia, and islamophobia by a massively influential person. Even as body positive activists


and social media influencers proliferate in popularity, Lagerfeld’s stances generated seasons of employing models, 81 percent of whom, in a sample survey by the International Journal of Eating Disorders, had BMIs that were classified as underweight. These models images are then pasted all over the billboards we hustle past to get to class or Starbucks. Lagerfeld’s problematic principles must not be left in the past, as they still reverberate not just in fashion but in all the echelons of society. Selective amnesia in remembering people like Bush, McCain, and Lagerfeld are composites of a much more dangerous proclivity: the rewriting of history. Consider President Donald Trump campaign slogan “Make America Great Again,” which frequently left people wondering -when exactly had America been a great place for everybody? History is critical; it doesn’t just inform the present, it is the present. (For example: ask yourself whose land are you living on? Where are those people now? Because much like Lagerfeld’s legacy, history does not just evaporate into the vortex that is the past.)

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They're Running


by Rhea Parimoo

record number of women have been elected to Congress, have marched on Washington, and have fought against the bigots taking over positions of power. Now, their next mission is to infiltrate the White House. Here is a look at some of the women running in the 2020 presidential election: Elizabeth Warren Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren was one of the first major candidates to enter the running for the Democratic presidential candidate, kicking off a wave of women announcing their candidacies. She plans to rebuild the middle class through an ultra-millionaire tax and to reform criminal justice by decriminalizing marijuana, banning private prisons, and demilitarizing the police. Warren is one of the most divisive democratic candidates running, as her policies are considered to be so far to the left that they further the polarization between republicans, democrats, and even more moderate democrats. Despite this, Warren has managed to disappoint many liberal minded people with the release of a DNA test that claims that she has Native American ancestry. Elizabeth Warren also switched her party affiliation in the mid-1990’s from the Republican party to the Democratic party.


Kirsten Gillibrand New York Senator Kirsten Gillibrand announced her presidential run on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, in true New York fashion. She was the youngest member of the Senate when she was appointed to fill the seat that Hillary Clinton vacated in 2009, and has become well known for being an advocate for victims of sexual assault. One of the major focuses of her campaign is overturning the Citizens United Supreme Court decision that allows for nearly unlimited campaign donations; she has also promised to not accept donations from PACs. It is important to note that she has flipped a few of her positions in recent years since her time representing a conservative district. Her position on guns took a turn after the Sandy Hook shooting, with her NRA grade changing from an A to F. She also once supported legislation to make deportation easier and opposed giving undocumented immigrants

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driver’s licenses, but has moved left since her time in the Senate, now calling to abolish ICE and co-sponsoring the DREAM Act.

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Kamala Harris Former California Attorney General and current California Senator Kamala Harris announced her candidacy on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. If elected, she would serve as the first woman, black, and Asian president. Harris plans to address the reforming ICE, mandating a federal tax cut for the middle and working class, and making four year public colleges tuition free for most Americans in her campaign. Harris has a controversial record from her time as a prosecutor, district attorney, and state attorney general. She threatened to criminalize truancy, which disproportionately affects low-income people of color. She also opposed a bill that would require her office to investigate shootings that involved officers, and refused to support the use of body cameras by officers. Tulsi Gabbard Tulsi Gabbard is the US Representative for Hawaii’s 2nd District, and

the first Samoan-American and Hindu member of the US Congress. As a veteran who served in Iraq, Gabbard has advocated for a non-interventionist stance in foreign affairs. If elected, she would become the youngest person to take on the role of president. She plans to end the use of fossil fuels by 2050, ban fracking, and make community college and public university tuition free for most Americans. Gabbard has attracted controversy for her prior work with an anti-LGBT group and anti-abortion views, but has since reversed and apologized for her position, now supporting same-sex marriage and abortion rights. She has also demanded President Obama use the term “radical Islam”, and has drawn criticism for meeting with Syria’s president, Bashar al-Assad.

is not

a Dirty Word s a college student at an elite university, I often feel myself getting worked up over juggling all my coursework with extracurriculars, work, friends, and relationships. I think it’s safe to say that college students these days have their hands full with a plethora of responsibilities we’re expected to take on and excel at seamlessly. Because of this, the transition to college can be a bumpy one, as students balance these responsibilities with being in a new environment, finding friends, and adjusting to different study needs. College is a time to learn, to adapt, and to mature. This includes learning how to truly take care of yourself, whether that means taking a night off and binging Netflix in bed or seeking professional help. Going to therapy for the first time can be intimidating, but


once you find a therapist you feel comfortable with, they can really be a useful outlet. Talking through your thoughts and emotions with a supportive person can be very healing, in that it can feel like you’re relieving yourself of a burden you’ve had to carry all on your own. I found that talking to someone who wasn’t involved in my life and whose only concern was my well-being made it easier for me to open up about things [that] I was hesitant to tell my family and friends. Talking to the people closest to us can be helpful, but sometimes we need help that they aren’t able to provide. Many students seek out therapy to help with feelings of depression, anxiety, stress, loneliness, problems with relationships, etc. Therapy may be challenging and time-consuming, but it’s an investment in yourself that can ul-

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Illustration by Lucy O’Connor; Layout by Ellie Story


by Charlotte Chandler

timately provide long-lasting benefits beyond temporary symptom relief. Therapy can equip you with the tools to transform your life, including introspective skills that everyone, especially college students, can use to build the life they envision for themselves. It’s

empowering to take the first steps towards mental health care, and doing so is a huge favor to yourself. You’re prioritizing the most important person in your life, which can be hard to do in college, and you deserve the best you can get. Therapy has definitely been given an unfair stigma; it’s basically like venting to a friend (which everyone does), except your friend is a professional and will definitely show up when you make plans. So


many people can benefit from going to therapy but many aren’t open to it or don’t have access to the necessary resources. At Barnard, there are s e v e r a l on campus resources for students. Furman Counseling provides individual counseling, consultations, and medication evaluations. Students can schedule an appointment with the counseling center for an initial phone screening followed by a first consultation and possible subsequent appointments. Well Woman is also available to help students take care of themselves, arranging peer workshops on self care, healthy relationships, sleep, and more. Going to therapy doesn’t have to be shameful, or scary, or unpleasant. Therapy can be a hugely important step towards improving your own mental health and in turn, life in general.

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A&E Filmmakers at Barnard: Dee Wisne '19 by Emily Supple


y beloved suitemate and friend, Dee Wisne, has been making films forever. Even though she came to Barnard having no idea of what she wanted to study but knowing, as many of us do, that she wanted to make an impact in the world in a positive way, film soon became the obvious choice. It was a comment of a film professor in Wisne’s first year that made her fully shift her academic focus from American Studies to Film. “During class, my professor said, “Did you know that only 5% of film directors are women?” I thought, What? For some reason, I had never connected the dots between gender and film studies and I realized that I could marry my interest of social good with film,” said Wisne, BC ‘19. Since then, Wisne has directed and produced a number of films, including Distractions, her film thesis, and Cook Out, a short horror film inspired by Get Out. Wisne also


co-authored a non-fiction podcast last semester entitled, Pretty, Angry, which attempts to make radical feminist issues accessible to the average middle American. Wisne acquired her inspiration for and first knowledge of film and photography from her dad, who she watched pour over family vacation footage and edit for hours on end as a child. These days, Wisne favors movies that “combine a poetic style and message with entertainment.” For these reasons, Wisne praises Spotlight and The Big Short for finding that rare balance. In terms of documentary films, she admires Michael Moore and The Representation Project. While Wisne does not find The Representation Project’s Miss Representation documentary to be outstanding from a filmmaking standpoint, she really connects with its message. “The main theme is all about how women are represented in the media and how it affects the female experience. That is the kind of stuff

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that I really want to be making,” said Wisne. As a graduating senior, Wisne has spent her due time searching for any and all film production courses offered every semester, taking screenwriting and film history seminars, learning the ins and outs of IMATS, and, overall, finding her voice. Wisne recommends that any underclassmen interested in film should take advantage of the array of courses offered at Barnard and Columbia. Her favorite ones have included “Screenwriting” with Ben Philippe at Barnard as the material is topical and the classroom format is discussion-based as well as Professor Annette Insdorf’s course at Columbia, “Cinema History: 1960-1990,” as she gained the skill of writing a fifteen-page paper on a single scene. As far as on-campus resources Wisne said, “I think it is really an untapped resource for a lot of people. This is one of the largest perks of being a student here and I will miss it so much when I graduate.” Overall, Wisne advises that aspiring film majors, filmmakers, and producers, take production courses, utilize IMATS, befriend other film students, start making films with their iMovie on the iPhone, and just take


chances and try. Additionally, Wisne warns underclassmen of the common onslaught of imposter syndrome in creative majors, such as film. Wisne recounts that “I’m still trying to get in the headspace where realize, Oh, I could actually do this for a living and pursue making a feature documentary.” However, Wisne acknowledges that aside from receiving some positive feedback from trusted mentors and peers, the best way to circumvent feelings of inadequacy at a school where the average student is exceptional is to humanize those around you. As President of Barnard’s female empowerment club, WinkMe, and as a Health Educator for Peer Health Exchange, it comes as no surprise that Wisne desires to become a documentary film producer who travels the world shedding light on marginalized voices and stories. Perhaps she will follow her most recent idea of creating a documentary about the various ways different cultures and religions celebrate or suppress death. While Wisne continues to find her path in filmmaking, we should all feel assured that she will do great things to make the future of the film industry representative.

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Inside the

Athena Film Festival By Maura De rose


rom February 28th to March 3rd, Barnard hosted the Athena Film Festival. In its ninth year, the festival highlights women filmmakers and stories of women in leadership. This year’s festivities included over 70 film screenings and a slew of panels and workshops, covering topics such as Time’s Up and storytelling about women in STEM. The festival also presents a variety of accolades to those making strides in the field, including the Athena Award granted to talent attorney Nina Shaw (BC ‘76, CU Law ‘79). I went to a communications-focused high school that allowed me to focus on digital video. My love of filmmaking in high school lead me to take film courses at Barnard and volunteer for the festival. The volunteer experience was both welcoming and exciting. I enjoyed meeting such a passionate group of people and contributing in even the smallest way to the festival’s mission. Most of all, I enjoyed getting to know fellow volunteers and Barnard students. The festival attracted a wide variety of people, and I even met a


Barnard graduate who has come back to volunteer for the past three years. I experienced the festival for the first time last year, when, after being accepted to Barnard, I took the train from New Jersey to see Greta Gerwig’s (BC ‘06) Lady Bird. Fresh off the college application experience, the movie was timely and particularly enjoyable to watch on Barnard’s campus. I had seen the film in theaters before, but the energy of the Athena Film Festival was unique. Everyone was so excited to see the movie and so proud of the Barnard alumna. They sighed when Lady Bird was rejected from Columbia and cheered when she was accepted to another New York City college. There was a similarly unique enthusiasm on Friday night, when I saw On the Basis of Sex. The screenplay was featured on the 2014 Athena List, which recognizes unproduced scripts with female leaders. The movie chronicles the beginnings of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s career. After starting law school at Harvard and finishing at Columbia, Ginsburg’s former Harvard

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dean ends up supporting the opposing side in a sex discrimination case. He tells her, “I’m pleased you found a use for your Harvard education.” She replies “Oh, no. What I’m doing, I learned at Columbia.” The audience went wild. The joy in seeing a movie at the Athena film festival is that you’re seeing a movie with a group of people who are just as thrilled to be there as you are. The next day, I saw The Great Mother. The film followed Nora Sandigo, a woman who is the legal guardian to over two thousand American children whose parents were deported. Sandigo does not house the children, but makes sure they are cared for and works to reunite their families. Afterwards, there was a Q&A with filmmakers Dave LaMattina and Chad Walker. I appreciate the festival’s focus on female filmmakers, but it was also uplifting to hear from men interested in telling women’s stories. Finally, I saw Mary Queen of Scots. My favorite film I saw during the festival, the movie depicted the reign of Mary Queen of Scots and her relationship with Queen Elizabeth of England. Their positions made the women both rivals and the only people who could truly understand each other. It was an interesting way


to end my festival experience, as the festival urged for more women in leadership while this movie demonstrated the potential burdens of power. I had a wonderful experience at the Athena Film Festival, both as an audience member and a volunteer. I felt inspired by the work of the men and women changing film who are motivated to have more women on the screen and behind the camera. My time at the festival made me think of my high school film teacher, someone who I will always appreciate for encouraging young women to pursue film. I bought a festival mug which I will send to him to let him know that, in some small way, I am continuing the path he helped me begin. I look forward to volunteering again next year.

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Arts &

Entertainment on Campus

eed a break from the academic work and stress culture that we’re all too familiar with? Take a break from your exams to join or watch any of Columbia/Barnard’s amazing performing arts clubs and add a little creativity to your life! With over 78 performing arts clubs on campus, finding your creative outlet is only one listserv away. Here are four of the many incredible clubs on campus to get you started:


Have you ever wanted to see or perform new and original works by your peers? NOMADS is the student theatre group for you! In their words, “NOMADS (New and Original Material Authored and Directed by Students) is the student theater group at CU dedicated to presenting work written by current Barnard/Columbia students. Since 2003, NOMADS has provided students a unique space for the creative development of expressive, imaginative, and challenging new theater, ranging from


workshop readings to fully staged productions of original dramas, comedies, musicals, and interdisciplinary works.” This semester NOMADS will be presenting one staged reading and one full production. The staged reading is entitled Lucky and was written by Phanesia Pharel (BC ‘21) and directed by Lucas Gomes (CC ‘20) and Lexis Rangell-Onwuegbuzia (CC ‘22). The full production is Imperson All, written by Amanda McDougall (CC ‘21) and directed by Abigail Smith (BC ‘21). For more information and specific show dates, visit their Facebook page at NOMADS Columbia.

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by Annette Stonebarger

Black Theatre Ensemble

If you’re looking to get involved in one of Columbia’s identity-based performance groups, look no further than the Black Theatre Ensemble! “BTE is a teaching ensemble, intent on developing the knowledge, talents and interests of people of color as they relate to theatre arts and productions.” This semester, BTE will be hosting a Black Arts Showcase with the intention of “uplifting and engaging the work of [their] community members.” Don’t identify as a student of color? “BTE is a space predominantly focused on cultivating a space for Black theatre,” however the Black Arts Showcase “is a night to take in and share Black creativity in its many forms -- poetry, music, performance pieces, visual art, and beyond.” The Black Arts Showcase is set to take place on Friday, April 26, 2019 from 8-10 pm in the Glicker-Milstein Theater. For more information, visit their Facebook page at Black Theatre Ensemble (CUBlackTheatreEnsemble).


Meet Orchesis: A Dance Group. Orchesis is Columbia’s largest dance group on campus with well over 100 members. No dance experience? No problem! Orchesis seeks to create an inclusive environment for all levels of dance and values enthusiasm over experience. Student choreographers create dances for all levels in all styles. If that doesn’t make you want to get up and boogie, Orchesis is also well known for their clever and punny show titles. For


example, the past two semesters have featured performances titled “Love is an Open DoORCHESIS” and most recently, “Versace on the FloORCHESIS.” For more information on Orchesis’ spring show, visit their Facebook page Orchesis: A Dance Group (CUorchesis).

Columbia Pops

Think orchestral music is only for the classics? Think again! “Columbia Pops plays a diverse repertoire to include film and television scores, Broadway hits, jazz tunes, popular classical works, video game soundtracks, original student works, and more!” Their goal is to “engage students not only as performance artists but also as conductors, arrangers, leaders, and much more. Columbia Pops welcomes members from all four undergraduate schools and the ensemble currently boasts a diverse group of talented musicians and is committed to performing original student arrangements.” For more information on their shows and to watch past performance, visit their website Didn’t find one here that interests you? Remember that this is just a start! There are so many amazing performing arts organizations on campus; surely one will fit your interests. For more information on all of Columbia’s clubs visit or go the extra mile and start your own!

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By Sophia Trzcinski


lost my Museum of Sex virginity, and not unlike one’s first time having sex, the expectation was more pleasing than the reality. I first heard about this museum from my boyfriend, when I walked in on him using a cum rag… to dry his hands. It was from the Museum of Sex—a black dish towel with “Cum Rag” embroidered on it in gold thread. The hunt for this towel was

After several impulsive purchases, I finally made it into the actual museum through a vaginal canal (read: dark hallway). As I ascended three dim flights of stairs, I was swept with a sensation reminiscent of entering a nightclub—I had the same nervous energy and the promise of sex on my mind. The first exhibit spanks you with erect penises and hairy vulvas

one of my main motivators for going to the museum, but all I found was a lesser version of it, designed with a comic-sans-esque font in only black or white embroidery. The rest of the gift shop, however, did not leave me with blue-balls the way the cum rag did. The gift shop was complete with standard Museum of Sex memorabilia, genitalia candy, and LGBTQ+ pride apparel. On top of that, it was also a full-blown sex shop—there were even several sex educators standing by, patiently waiting to help both the committed sex-toy enthusiasts and curious first-timers alike.

from the get-go (not that I’m complaining): projected on the opposite wall of the entrance foyer was a compilation video of silent hard-core pornos in black and white from between 1900 and 1930. I don’t want to kiss and tell too much, but I will say that this exhibit takes you through the early history of the pornographic film, both good and bad. It emphasizes just how much pornography aided in sexual liberation for marginalized groups and also how it perpetuated misogyny and heteronormativity in the realm of sexuality and sexual pleasure. The portion of the muse-


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Illustration by Sophia Trzcinski

um that really got me w e t (and if this exhibit was a stripper I would have tipped her well) was the Leonor Fini exhibit on the second floor. Fini’s art, created all throughout the 19th century, is very surrealist. She depicts erotic images of female bodies, androgynous bodies, and even animal bodies, all tangled together in some certain pieces, or, in others, sitting away from each other, looking pious with their hunched backs and eyes that watch you watch them. The exhibit included acrylic paintings, two films (a documentary and an art film based on her life), and even lithographs from a graphic novel she wrote about a woman joining a sadism and masochism sex group. From the documentary footage, it’s clear to me she had that Big Clit Energy. The Punk Lust exhibit— while a cool concept—made me feel more like I was walking into a Spirit Halloween store than a raunchy revamp of a 1980s punk record shop. A barrage of mismatched sounds came from all directions of the large room. Life-sized white mannequins outfitted in infamous torn-up punk garb watched over the exhibit floor, which was embellished with a barbed-wire pattern. To me, it seemed more like an exhibit on punk and its aesthetics, with sexual imagery from the era and the artists/bands scattered throughout, than a showcase of punk pornogTHE BULLETIN -

raphy. All of the punks were white or white-passing, and honestly, as much as the exhibit called to the thirteenyear-old punk girl still living inside of me, I found it anticlimactic and not as progressive as I expected… not to mention that the bathrooms are also near this exhibit, and those are about as binary as they come. The last section of the museum is what I affectionately refer to as the Big Titty Bounce-house, which is literally a bounce house with inflatable boobs all along the walls, floor, and ceiling. Here, for an additional $3.25, you can jump and bump against all shapes, sizes, and colors of breasts. And... that’s it. The Museum of Sex is only three exhibits large, currently, as I believe they are unconstruction and usually have more exhibits open. Not counting the Big Titty Bounce-house, each of which only encompassed three rectangular rooms. I definitely recommend venturing into the shop portion of the museum (the street entrance lands you right in the gift shop) and checking out the Fini exhibit... but if it weren’t for the Fini room, I would say avoid the admissions fee, skip the museum exhibitions altogether, follow the instagrams (@museumofsex and @museumofsexnow) to find images to update y o u r Spank Bank, and embroider your own “Cum Rag.”

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b b lE

B ite



n d th e o y Be



by Veronica Suchodolski

re you missing the taste of the South as you work your way through the final remnants of the long and bitter New York City winter? Then take yourself (and your friends!) downtown to Cowgirl, a Texas BBQ joint that sells Southwestern-style food with a heaping side of kitsch. Located at 519 Hudson Street in Greenwich Village, the big white windows outside Cowgirl are decorated with colorful string lights all year round. In the warmer months, you can dine outside with a fantastic view for NYC people-watching. Otherwise, the interior is warm and cozy, decorated from top to bottom with old portraits of cowgirls (spot the signed Hannah Montana glam shot!), red gingham tablecloths, and various memorabilia ranging from a


red wagon to ukuleles. Not an inch of space is wasted, creating a fun kitschy atmosphere that transports diners out of the hustle and bustle of the city. Cowgirl is open from 10AM to 11PM, with seatings for breakfast, lunch, dinner, late-night, and weekend brunch. At all of these times, the restaurant offers a wide array of food, hitting all the bases you could want from a Texas BBQ joint. They serve chicken and pork just about any way you could image, from fried to whiskey-soaked to barbecued on a bun. They also offer quesadillas, enchiladas, chili, and burgers. I had the pulled pork sandwich, which had a vinegar kick and came with sides of coleslaw and the choice of fries or crispy tater tots. Overall, Cowgirl serves its food exactly how you think it should come, skipping on frills

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without skipping on flavor. If you’re in the mood for good old-fashioned Texas BBQ, Cowgirl won’t disappoint. It’s also worth mentioning Cowgirl’s standout menu item, which is the Frito pie. This Texas tradition consists of beef brisket chili or veggie chili in (yes, in) a bag of Fritos, topped with cheddar, onions, sour cream, and jalapenos. This dish is perfect if you’re a Southerner looking for a taste of home, but also if you’re interested in seeing all the delights Texas has to offer. It’s crunchy, meaty, and cheesy—how bad could it be? Alright, let’s talk drinks: if you’re over 21, Cowgirl doubles as a bar. Their stand-out menu item is their frozen margaritas. These come in a range of fruity flavors, and the slushy-like liquid is delightfully salty to cut the taste of tequila. My group got the classic lime flavor, which more than lived up to expectations.


I’ve never been a big marg drinker, but this place made me a fan. Plus, the straws come decorated with a tiny plastic donkey figurine—what’s not to love? That said, if you are not a margarita fan, Cowgirl has plenty of other options to keep even the pickiest drinker satisfied. Cowgirl also features an array of music acts each week in the back room of the restaurant. The acts include both local and touring country, bluegrass, and acoustic artists. One standout act in the last few months was Velveeta Underground, a cover band that performs the hits of The Velvet Underground. Music-lovers should keep an eye on the Cowgirl website for upcoming acts they would want to see. Overall, from the Southern comfort menu to the fun drinks to the music scene, Cowgirl has something for everyone, making it well worth a stop on your next trip downtown.

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