VANCOUVER & LOWER MAINLAND SEPTEMBER 2008
Vancouver’s 50+ Active Lifestyle Magazine
MIKE HARVEY
Volunteer Best Friend
Smiles are in
your future
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It has been said that laughter is the best medicine. At Lifestyle Retirement Communities, we agree that it is an excellent foundation for health and well being, and within our bright, beautiful surroundings, it's natural for residents and staff alike to feel cheerful. At Lifestyle Retirement Communities we make sure there's always someone to share a laugh with you.
SEPTEMBER 2008 MAGAZINE
(Vancouver & Lower Mainland) is published by Stratis Publishing. Other publications by Stratis Publishing:
• Senior Living (Vancouver Island) • Senior Lifestyle: A Housing Guide for Vancouver Island
FEATURES 4 To the Dogs
Publisher
These days, Mike Harvey prefers to give his time and energy to man’s best friend.
Barbara Risto Editor
6 Queen of the Road
Bobbie Jo Sheriff editor@seniorlivingmag.com Advertising Manager
Restless since youth, Joei Carlton Hossack doesn’t stay in one place for too long.
Ad Sales Staff
Travel writers Rick and Chris Millikan find a cruise that meets the needs of mobility challenged travellers.
Barry Risto 250-479-4705 Toll Free 1-877-479-4705 sales@seniorlivingmag.com
10 A Cruise for All!
IMG Innovative Media Group Mathieu Powell 250-704-6288 John Dubay 250-294-9700 Ann Lester 250-755-7750 Shelley Ward (Comox Valley) 250-702-3731 RaeLeigh Buchanan 250-479-4705 Robert Doak 250-479-4705
14 Maintaining Your Brain
Experts agree on four realistic approaches to keeping a healthy brain as we age.
16 Challenging Authority
26 Facing My Fears
Claire Wilson embarks on a new life while letting go of old fears.
29 In Memoriam
Senior Living magazine says goodbye to a friend.
DEPARTMENTS 23 BBB Scam Alert 31 Crossword
COLUMNS 2 The Family Caregiver
Controversial and outspoken journalist Rafe Mair has been both applauded and fired.
Contact Information – Head Office
by Barbara Small
9 Forever Young
20 Cultural Ambassador
Senior Living Box 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave., Victoria BC V8T 2C1
Though she’s never been a mother in the traditional sense, Johanna Rundell has more than 50 children all over the world.
Phone 250-479-4705 Toll-free 1-877-479-4705 Fax 250-479-4808 E-mail office@seniorlivingmag.com Website www.seniorlivingmag.com
24 The Golden Years
Getting older has its benefits – and it sure beats the heck out of the alternative.
by William Thomas
30 Ask Goldie
by Goldie Carlow
32 Reflections: Then & Now by Gipp Forster
Subscriptions: $32 (includes GST, postage and handling) for 10 issues. Canadian residents only. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. Senior Living is an indepdendent publication and its articles imply no endoresement of any products or services. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publisher. Unsolicited articles are welcome and should be e-mailed to editor@seniorlivingmag.com Senior Living Vancouver & Lower Mainland is distributed free in Vancouver, North & West Vancouver, Burnaby, New Westminster, Richmond, Coquitlam, Port Coquitlam, Port Moody, Delta, Twawwassen, White Rock, Surrey, Cloverdale and Ladner. ISSN 1911-6373 (Print) ISSN 1991-6381 (Online)
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Cover Photo: Mike Harvey and his Langley Animal Shelter friend Lulu. Story page 4. Photo: Peter Henderson
es a uple tak ters wa ond co Richm on the open chance 1/7/200
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MAGAZINE
SEPTEMBER 2008
1
THE FAMILY CAREGIVER
W
Caregiver Syndrome BY BARBARA SMALL
e seldom know in advance when we will find ourselves in the role of family caregiver. It could start simply – helping a bit here and there – and then suddenly, it’s a full-time job. Or we could find ourselves plunged into it when a health crisis hits. Providing care to a family member or friend carries many responsibilities and can be overwhelming. The impact of these growing demands can result in stress, anger, guilt, fatigue, depression and many physical symptoms. This collection of symptoms commonly experienced by family caregivers now has a name, “caregiver syndrome.” Caregiver syndrome was first mentioned on the CNN website in May 2008 in an article written by Dr. Andree LeRoy. In this article, Dr. Jean Posner, a neuro-psychologist in Maryland, described this condition as “a debilitating condition brought on by unrelieved constant caring for a person with a chronic illness or dementia.” Peter Vitaliano, a professor of geriatric psychiatry at the University of Washington and an expert on caregiving, said, “the chronic stress of caring for someone can lead to high blood pressure, diabetes and a compromised immune system. The stress is not only related to the daunting work of caregiving, but also the grief associated with the decline in the health of their loved ones.” Labelling the physical, emotional and mental impact of caregiving could help increase awareness amongst family members, healthcare professionals, the general public and family caregivers themselves. Although many family caregivers are burnt out, they seldom seek help for themselves. Their energy and attention – as well as everyone else’s – is usually focused on the care recipient. Caregivers might not connect the physical and emotional symptoms they are experiencing with the stress of caregiving. Many exhausted
caregivers may not seek help because they don’t realize they have a recognized condition. Having these symptoms labelled can help validate caregivers’ experiences and perhaps allow them to recognize the signs and symptoms early enough to get help. Also, having a formal name for the impact of caregiving may gain the attention of the healthcare profession and encourage providers to take more time to ask questions that will determine whether the family caregiver’s own needs are being met. They could then make recommendations on how and where the caregiver can get relief. Expanding a family caregiver’s support system, getting help with caregiving tasks, finding sources of respite and providing education and information to caregivers can decrease the incidence of this syndrome. Contact the Family Caregivers’ Network Society at 250-384-0408 or visit www.fcns-caregiving.org to find out more information about products and services available to help support you in your role as a family caregiver. Take some time for yourself and remember to make an appointment with your healthcare provider to talk about the condition of your own health as well. SL
Next month: Caregiving your spouse Barbara Small is Program Development Coordinator for Family Caregivers’ Network Society.
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VER U O C VAN AND ISL ON I EDIT
To Move or Not to Move? A Helpful Guide for Seniors Considering Their Residential Options
To Move or Not to Move?
To Move or Not to Move? A Helpful Guide for Seniors Considering Their Residential Options
MAGAZINE
Published by Senior Living October 2007 REG. PRICE: $
14.95
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If you are a senior who has been wondering lately whether you should consider moving - either because you find the maintenance of your current home more difficult due to diminishing ability or energy, or you simply want a lifestyle that allows you more freedom and less responsibility - then this is the book that can help you ask the right questions and find the solution that is right for you. • What residential options are available? • Define your current situation - What residential option is right for you? • How to research and assess Independent and Assisted Living residences. • What do Independent, Assisted Living and Complex Care facilities have to offer? • How much does it cost to live in an Assisted Living residence? What subsidies are available? • Thinking of moving in with family members? Questions to consider before making your decision. • Are there any other residential options besides Independent, Assisted Living and Complex Care facilities? • If you choose to stay in your own home, what are your options and what should you plan for? • Who can help you decide what you can or cannot afford? • Funding sources available to seniors - tax deductions, housing subsidies, home care subsidies, equipment loan programs, renovation grants, etc. • Selling your home - how to find the right realtor or relocation services to assist your move. • Downsizing - Where do you start? How do you proceed? • Adapting your home to meet your mobility needs - tips and suggestions • Hiring home care services; do it yourself or hire an agency? • Legal matters - how to make sure you receive the care you desire should you not be able to communicate due to some incapacitating condition • AND MUCH MORE Advice from professionals who are experts in the area of assisting seniors with their relocation
questions and concerns. A handy reference guide for seniors and their families wrestling with the issues around whether relocation is the best option. This 128-page book provides helpful, easy to read information and suggestions to help seniors and their families understand the decisions they need to make.
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SEPTEMBER 2008
3
TO THE DOGS
BY PETER HENDERSON
M
ike Harvey had a turbulent career before finding contentment in the society of “man’s best friend.” He came from a wealthy upper crust Anglo-Irish family, with grandparents who sailed back and forth between New York and Ireland in their own yacht. Eventually, his father wound up in Winnipeg, where he married Mike’s mother – an ill-suited match. The result was Mike, and a notable lack of parental affection throughout his childhood. When he was a small boy, his parents separated. Raised in the foothills of Alberta, Mike was sent to boarding school in Calgary, where life was rigorous, with plenty of corporal punishment. During the Second World War, he wanted to be a paratrooper, because they wore cherry coloured berets, and were popular with the girls. At 16, he managed to enlist; with the help of his father saying he was “in his 17th year.” Mike’s official rank was “Boy Soldier.” True to the family custom of tough love, Mike recalls that the only time his mother kissed him was when he was lined up in Calgary on overseas draft. He received a peck on the cheek and the encouraging words: “Be a brave soldier, dear, don’t let me down.” Following the parental injunction, at his medical exam, he memorized the lower letters on the eyesight chart to compensate for some visual defects, 4
SENIOR LIVING VANCOUVER & LOWER MAINLAND
and duly became a paratrooper. After jumping into combat over the Rhine in February 1945, he was just in time to see combat for five days before being wounded. In hospital, he enjoyed the company of the nurses. A couple of months later, the war ended. Still very young, Mike went back to school and got his senior matricula-
er, Quebec because I’d taken French in school. With the Van Doos, I was sent to Laval University extension department to improve my French, the only course I ever failed, with 49 per cent. I got on well with the men despite my being an English speaker, but I didn’t really want to be in the regiment.” Somewhat late in his military career, a civilian optometrist found Mike’s eyesight was below standard. “As a result, I was sent to Ottawa and made a public relations officer, then sent down to Fort Slocombe, New York, with the American army to learn the job. I came in second out of a class of 45.” His somewhat uneven military career eventually ended, and with a gift for writing, he was offered a job selling advertising space for the Star newspaper in Sudbury, Ontario. It was here, in 1957, Mike takes his friend, that he met and marLulu, a mastiff, for a walk. ried his wife and where Mike first entered the tion in Calgary. He found, however, that world of dogs – a world he later became many of his friends were re-enlisted, so passionate about. “We were in a basement suite with he followed them and found himself in the Princess Patricia’s Canadian Light the landlady’s dog in a little unheated kennel at the back of the house at 40 beInfantry. “At one point, as a regimental police- low, sick and eating chicken bones.” Around that time, Mike’s stepfather man, I was caught drinking beer with a prisoner I was escorting, and so got 28 died, and despite the lack of family afdays detention,” says Mike. “The colo- fection, he felt it his duty to move to nel had me up, with the words, ‘You’ll Calgary to be with his mother. When never be a decent soldier,’ so with true he and his wife decided to go West, he military logic they sent me for officer bargained with their Ukrainian landlady training, with the Van Doos at Valcarti- for the old dog. His wife lost a sewing
machine and they loaded “Laddie” into the backseat. Laddie endeared himself to Mike, in their early days in Calgary, with his consideration for other dogs, notably a female Labrador named Toby. One snowy night, Toby’s owners were concerned over her apparent disappearance, being about to give birth to a new litter. At the same time, Mike was puzzled by Laddie’s refusal to enter his kennel. “Come on, stupid,” he urged, lifting the flap for Laddie to enter, “You’ll catch your death of cold, you old fool.” Nothing would induce him to enter, even when Mike dragged him by the collar. So, there he remained, while Mike and his wife left for the evening. When they returned home later, Laddie was still huddled in the lee of his kennel, shielding himself from the stinging snow hurled by a cold east wind. “He’s getting soft in the head, in his old age,” thought Mike. The following afternoon, inspection of the doghouse revealed Toby, nursing seven tiny black puppies. In Calgary, for about 12 years, Mike sold advertising space for Joe Clark’s father, the publisher of the High River Times. Sadly, he and his wife drifted apart and divorced. Keeping in shape by playing tennis and badminton led to another unexpected turn in his life. “This young girl, with whom I played badminton and tennis, arrived at my door with a suitcase, and said ‘We’re going to get married.’” Flattered, Mike acquiesced and 41 years and three children later, Shirley and him are still together. When he arrived in B.C., he worked with the Journal of Commerce and became involved in soccer. “I used to coach my daughter’s soccer team that became close to being the B.C. champs, being beaten out by only one goal.”
At 82, he still plays tennis, but dogs remain his passion. “I kept coming across dogs, because I’d walk for miles and kept finding strays that had been abandoned. I just loved every one of them. At one time, we had 11 dogs, all strays, Labradors, German Shepherds, Pit bulls, Irish setters, you name it, we had it.” As time went by, however, they had to have them put down and were reluctant to replace them because Mike’s wife was concerned about their care after his own possible demise. Accordingly, he went to work for and supports the Langley Animal Protection Society. At the Animal Shelter, he walks dogs, and acts as their Public Relations officer.
A local couple that was getting married had already been together for some years, and therefore needed few gifts, so at Mike’s suggestion they decided they would ask for donations towards the Animal Shelter. Mike was the master of ceremonies at the reception, and donations totalled over $1,000. Mike loves being with people as well as dogs. “I also put in time in a vegetable garden and I play table tennis four times a week. I walk every day and I ride my exercise bike. I write for a magazine called Dialogue published in Nanaimo. In the Langley Times, I write a column they call the Occasional Correspondent.” But dogs remain his main interest, and there is no shortage of them at the shelter for Mike to care for and walk. SL
SEPTEMBER 2008
5
QUEEN
T
OF THE ROAD
hroughout her 64 years, Joei Carlton Hossack has blazed her own trail, moving from one new adventure to another with the conďŹ dence and poise of someone with far more experience. Born the youngest of four children to the Carlton family of Montreal, Joei 6
SENIOR LIVING VANCOUVER & LOWER MAINLAND
BY KEVIN MCKAY
grew up in the waning years of the Second World War. Her mother toiled in a factory, sewing beads onto hats, something Joei reects on whenever she engages in her own beadwork, wishing her mother had been able to enjoy it as a hobby, rather than work. Her father had to leave early each morning to get to his Peter Trill at the controls.
job at the fruit and vegetable terminal by 3:30 a.m., before the buyers showed up. On the plus side, his workday ended at noon. Upon graduation from Baron Byng High School, Joei immediately left Montreal to join her older sister across the continent in Los Angeles. This bold
move foreshadowed the course that much of her later life would take. She found a roommate and moved into an apartment while waiting for her green card. Just over five years later, Joei became an American citizen. She spent eight and a half years in Los Angeles attending criminology classes at Los Angeles City College and working at a variety of jobs including office work, an undercover job and work as a private investigator, keeping a watchful eye on employees of which companies were suspicious. Joei enjoyed her time in California and never gave much thought to leaving until her mother died in 1971 – an event that changed her life forever. She took a leave of absence from her job (a leave she is technically still on!) to return home to help her father with the funeral and his living arrangements. While in Montreal, she attended a party with some friends where she spotted a handsome young man across the room. Joei was smitten. She walked over and introduced herself to Paul Hossack, striking up an instant relationship. The couple married five years later. They had no children by choice and, after a few years, settled in Toronto. Professionally, they did well. Paul had a stressful, high profile career as an investment dealer while Joei owned and operated a successful wool shop on the Danforth. All was fine, but Paul was restless; the travel bug had bitten him. “He never came out of a book store without a stack of travel books,” says Joei. After some consideration, the Hossacks decided to uproot. They sold their home, most of their furniture, car, truck and boat and moved to Great Britain where they bought a motorhome from which they discovered Europe. For two and a half years, they crisscrossed the continent and the United Kingdom, punctuated by occasional visits back to Montreal and Toronto to touch base. Their travels took them to many countries as far south as Morocco and as far east as Crete. They intended to travel on into Turkey, but the first Gulf War was unfolding and citizens there were being
»
issued gas masks. Joei and Paul changed them. They had plenty more adventures during those years and made several course and headed back west. During this time, they met other lifelong friends, including an Americancampers and made many friends. Joei Welsh couple who invited Joei and Paul recalls they often would park for the to have Christmas with them in Spain. In the early summer of 1992, they night in an olive grove or a pasture. One night, they parked in an open town flew back to North America and bought square in rural France only to awaken a condo in Sarasota, Florida, which they to the sounds of the market being qui- lived in for two days. Then, they flew etly set up. No one wanted to disturb back to Canada to say their hellos and the visitors! There was no further travel goodbyes before again departing for 08-0939 WR SeniorLivingMagRememberLastWinter:07-0359 VAN SeniorsLiving .eps that day, either, until the market closed Europe. On June 26, 1992, Paul sufbecause the vendors’ stalls surrounded fered a heart attack while out for a run
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at a German campground. He was dead at 52, and Joei, a 48-year-old widow, was alone in Europe. Joei’s only home was in Florida, so she stored the motorhome in England and returned there. The following summer, she went back to Great Britain and volunteered on three archaeological digs around the country during her five-month trip. In the fall, she returned to Florida via Montreal for another winter alone. The next summer, Joei had a different plan. She flew back to the United Kingdom and sold the motorhome. She bought a plane ticket to Turkey intending to spend two weeks in the country that she and Paul had been thwarted from visiting years before. Joei loved Turkey and wound up spending three months there before travelling around the Greek side of Nicosia, the capital city of Cyprus, for a month. The following summer brought another new adventure. While in Florida, she bought a motorhome and then drove alone across the continent to Alaska. From there, she made her way down the coast to Los Angeles where she picked up her sister, and together they drove to Albuquerque. She spent the summer of 1996 in Europe again, and in 1997, made the mistake of spending the summer at her place in Florida, finding the weather too hot and humid. She put her condo on the market and sold it in February 1998. Joei decided to buy a truck and a fifth-wheel trailer, becoming a full-time solo traveller. For many years, she travelled around North America, stopping off to pick up mail and messages in Montreal every few months. Joei did this until 2006 when she purchased a townhouse in Surrey, where she now resides when she isn’t out on the road. Along the way, she noticed that a magazine was looking for a travelogue article. She wrote one on her trip to Turkey and submitted it; she never heard back. Joei showed her article to a neighbour who suggested she submit it to a local community newspaper in Florida, the Pelican Press. They published it as a two-page spread and Joei’s writing career took off. The editor of West Coast Woman contacted Joei and told her they wanted her next story – before it had even been written. 8
SENIOR LIVING VANCOUVER & LOWER MAINLAND
She wrote a series of stories based on her travels and, in 1997, decided to put the stories together in a self-published book she called Restless from the Start. Joei had been asked to do a travel talk at Barnes and Noble in Sarasota, so she wrote to the head office and asked if the store would sell her book. They agreed, so she contacted all the Barnes and Noble stores in that part of the state and asked if she could come in and do a book signing in their store. “They all said yes, and since I was now in their computer system, it was easy to convince them they should be selling my book in their store too,” says Joei. For her second book, she got some help with the editing and had a profes-
sional cover designed. That was only the beginning. Joei now has seven books published and is often asked to speak at conferences and seminars for people who enjoy the recreational vehicle lifestyle. Currently, Joei has an exclusive agreement with Save-on-Foods who sells her books, and invites her to several book signings a year. She is travelling less these days, but is still embarking on new adventures as she teaches memoir writing at Newton Senior Centre and continues to expand her inspirational SL speaking seminars. Joei can be reached through her website at joeicarlton.com or via e-mail at JoeiCarlton@hotmail.com
FOREVER BY WILLIAM THOMAS
Years Pile Up – Vocabulary Drops
A
ging is okay, given the alternative. But adding years should not mean subtracting
words. She: “Ah, Dave called and…” At this point, the overused Rolodex in my brain starts spinning like the back wheels of a light pickup truck in a field of fresh goose poop. My cerebral scanner hits top speed at C and over runs D by a full letter. Extraneous. Exhaustive, backing up now – beep, beep – Egregious, Expletive deleted, Egad – here we go again. Me: “OK, Dave my nephew, Dave your brother, Dave Barnard, Doctor Dave, Dave Patterson, Dave Miller, Dave Nicholson, Dave Barlow or Dave my former brother-in-law?” She: “Oh, sorry, did I say Dave? I meant Dan.” Oh, boy. I hit the brain button. The Rolodex surges ahead to Excruciating; backing up – beep, beep – to Dan. Me: “OK, Dan my current brotherin-law, Dan Patterson, Dan The Man, Dan Dee Dan Dan the guy from Dragnet, Dan Rather or Dan Fogelberg?” (Sorry, my Rolodex hasn’t been updated in months.) She: “Anyway, Dan wants us to go and see a movie at that theatre. You know the one. Anyway, it’s the movie about the war.” I smell rubber burning as my mental directory races through the alphabet all the way to Y, Yikes, stops, pulls back one letter to X for a quick X-ray that shows some damaged cells and a few overworked fissures. For no apparent reason, my Rolodex, overwrought and no doubt delirious, stops at Xerox, drops
its pants, jumps up on the machine and makes a photocopy of its own bum. Me: “The war in Iraq, Afghanistan, Sri Lanka, Somalia, Darfur, East Timor, Tibet, Burma, Columbia, Gaza Strip, Kashmir, Nigeria or Dick Cheney’s shorts?” She: “It’s the diamond war in that country in Africa.” Me: “Africa, North Africa, West Africa, South Africa, Egypt, Morocco, Angola, Zambia, Namibia, Ethiopia, Gabon…?” Due to recent flooding, my Rolodex gets mired up to its axles in G. Too far to walk all the way to T for a tow truck, it begins to hitchhike when a bunch of herdsmen walk across the border from Burkina Faso and push it out of the muck. I start again. Me: “Angola, Cameroon, Botswana. Rhodesia?! Hey, there’s Ian Smith in a burka!” She: “I think it’s set in the diamond mines of Sierra Leone and it stars that actor you really like.” A warning light appears on the dashboard of my scanner. Me: “Chris Cooper, Gary Sinise, Ryan Gosling, Tom Wilkinson, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Dan Cheadle, Colm Meaney, Colm Feore, Eric Bana, Daniel Day-Lewis, Chris Wilton, Philippe Noiret, Nick Nolte when he’s sober?” She: “No. Leonardo DiCaprio.” Me: “I don’t like Leonardo DiCaprio.” She: “Whatever. Anyway, they want to go to that restaurant first.” My Rolodex runs out of gas trying to get from A for Actors to R for Restaurants before they stop serving. Fortu-
nately, at P it’s able to coast into a PetroCanada station. Me: “Lucy’s, Sugars II, San Marco, On the Waterfront, J.C.’s, Casa Mia, Mama Mia’s, Casa D’Ora, Yukiguni’s, Chiado, McLaughlins, The Rex, Hoovers’ Marina?” She: “No, not like a formal restaurant, just a pub, like that place beside the canal.” Me: “The Galley, Lotus Garden, Walter’s Neptune, Harbour Inn, The Bridge Pub, The Dainer, The Galley?” She: “No. The Canalside Pub.” Me: “Wait! The name of the pub beside the canal you were trying to come up with was, The Canalside Pub?!” She: “Yeah, that’s it. It’s right beside that shop.” I can’t go there. A late-breaking bulletin flashing across my brain claims my mental Rolodex jumped ship. Me: “I can’t go.” She: “Why not?” Me: “I have to go lie down on the…” She: “On the bed?” Me: “On the highway.” She: “On the shoulder?” Me: “The centre line.” Unlike oil, we are not running out of words. People who don’t use enough words are like drivers who refuse to use their blinker because they believe it drains the battery. It doesn’t. I swear. Remember, as we shrink, our vocabuSL laries need not. William Thomas is the author of nine books of humour including Margaret and Me about his wee Irish mother. www.williamthomas.ca SEPTEMBER 2008
9
A CRUISE FOR ALL!
STORY AND PHOTOS BY RICK AND CHRIS MILLIKAN
A
board the Carnival Valor, we enter our spacious cabin, which glows with a peachy hue. The large bed is comfortable; the bathroom sparkles. A glass door opens onto a balcony, perfect for peaceful contemplations. A large fruit basket with a bottle of merlot, plate of chocolate-dipped strawberries and card that says “Bon Voyage, Mom and Dad!” appear beside the silver ice bucket. On the coffee table, our Caribbean itinerary presents the exciting prospects of this accommodating cruise ship. My older sister, or anyone with disabilities, would be content here. Twenty-eight special cabins provide widened doorways and level thresholds for wheelchairs. Spacious bathrooms feature accessible sinks and large shower areas with grab bars and chairs. Beds have emergency buttons within easy reach. Shipboard doctors and nurses readily remedy most medical problems. Physically handicapped, deaf and blind passengers may bring service dogs; relief areas are set up on the balconies. As two of the directionally
10
disadvantaged, on this large ship, I suggest another doggone-helpful idea. “Why not send St. Bernards with brandy kegs tucked under their chins to fetch lost passengers?” Our cabin steward grins. Strolling astern that Sunday evening, riding up an elevator, striding though a glittering mini-mall, passing lounge entertainers, through the alluring casino and descending another elevator, we enter our elegant dining room, navigate numbered seating and locate our table. Our waiter greets us and begins a week of recommending tantalizing menu items. Of course, we try to stick to tasty heart-smart items. Good conversation sweetens each delectable course; table acquaintances become friends. After every sumptuous, scrumptious repast, we’d return forward to enjoy comedians, ventriloquists, juggling acts and musical extravaganzas in the spacious Ivanhoe theatre. And once, after fabulous break-dancers wow us with amazing gyrations, much of the audience – including us – follow, watching them perform further bodily feats on the marble floor of the main lounge. Meeting up with passengers using electric scooters, wheelchairs or walkers, I’d usually smile asking, “How’s the cruise going?”
SENIOR LIVING VANCOUVER & LOWER MAINLAND
One Quebec grandmother, Marie, voyages regularly with her family. We also meet a retired police officer rendered paraplegic. John tells us, “Shipboard life is great! This is my sixth enjoyable cruise with my wife and daughter. To explore ports, I swap this scooter for one of the ship’s light-weight wheelchairs.” At sea Monday, most passengers relax in the sun on tiers surrounding the forward pool. While some ageless youths climb four more decks to plunge 30 metres downward in a serpentine waterslide. And some ascend these stairs to golf at the small putting green. Above its large Jacuzzi amidships, a trio plays Bob Marley hits. And in the evenings, movies are shown above on a huge screen. On the aft, another pool area offers adult-only serenity. Entering the swirling hot tub, we meet Pete and learn there’s an on-board team ready to assist needy individuals. Pete adds, “Our ports of Grand Cayman, Roatan, Belize and Cozumel offer
terrific snorkelling! My companion will help me on and off the dive boats.” Anchoring off Grand Cayman Tuesday, we scramble into the high-speed tender. Our shore excursion includes a devilishly picturesque town named Hell, a tasty stop at a rum cake bakery, titillating time at a turtle refuge and boat trip to Stingray City. At this sandy shoal, 11 kilometres off the coast, fellow passengers and I wade undaunted among numerous swishy-tailed stingrays – with stingers intact! Some of us even pose for photos cuddling these docile 1.8metre winged females. On Wednesday, costumed and masked Garifuna wildly dance to African drum music welcoming us to lovely, undeveloped Isla Roatan. In Coxen Hole, we strike a deal with
David, a 16-year-old English-speaking guide and taxi northward along the turquoise coastal waters and upward to Gumbalimba Park. Entering through a pirate cave, we examine treasure troves, effigies of
boisterous buccaneers and informative murals. Establishing his base, Captain Henry Morgan lived here amongst the local islands’ 5,000 blackguards. Emerging in profuse botanical gardens, we sight squawking macaws flashing scarlet against blue skies and observe other visitors gingerly crossing a rope suspension bridge over a pretty lagoon. At the Monkey Sanctuary, little white-faced furry chaps settle upon our shoulders inquisitively looking into our ears and noses, their slim fingers picking through our hair. We soon realize they’re looking for tasty tidbits while larger monkeys swing off through the rainforest. David takes us next to a popular beach to swim in crystal water and relax with frosty fruit cocktails. While the guys snorkel, the gals shop, bargaining for wooden beaded bracelets under shady coconut palms. We conga back aboard ship while a trio sporting straw hats and embroidered shirts plays marimbas. At dinner, tablemates recount their visit to Sherman Arch’s Farm where 2,700 iguanas roam. Smiling, we all recall the shore briefing; “Iguana stew is a tradi-
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Top left, onboard Valor in Miami harbour. Bottom left, Rick makes a turtle friend. Top right, nightly entertainment on Valor. Above, swimming with Caymen stingrays. Right, view of Roatan from the ship. Page 12, top, Rick and Chris atop Incan Pyramid. Bottom, Chris makes a monkey friend.
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tional delicacy. Now protected, Black frigate birds and vultures you can hold these ‘chicken of soar above; blue kingfishers hovthe trees’ but ya can’t eat ‘em!” er and white egrets stalk below. Standing atop the bow, crewman A black suited gent silently appears at our table wearing a Sammy points out bats clinging under a bridge, crocs sunning on tag: Rakesh Syam Table Artist. Rather than arranging flowers or snags, a swimming iguana and yellow pendulum birds flitting folding origami napkins, Rakesh asks Chris to sign her name on a in-and-out of their woven nests dangling from Palm fronds. As two of hearts, shuffles it into the deck and asks me to lift my dinRio Wallace empties into the ocean, we witness a manatee ner plate. There lays a small enherd bobbing in the waves. velope enclosing a paper-clipped, On Friday, colourfully cosfolded card – Chris’s autographed deuce! We gasp! Valor’s amazing prestidigitator returns tumed folk dancers welcome us to Cozumel. High above the nightly casting more magic over our next three evenings. old customs’ gate, mariachi quintets strum guitars, blare trumRockin’ and rollin’ on a tender into Belize City on Thurs- pets and joyfully harmonize during a joyful series of traditionday, we hear passengers chatting excitedly about plans to al songs. We notice Marie and her family shuttling into town tube through limestone caves, visit aboard Pedal cabs. Perhaps they’ll the baboon sanctuary and shop for next take a horse-drawn carriage or If you go: handicrafts. Our destination is Altun cab to explore colourful, historic • Miami pre-cruise stays can be fun. NifHa, an ancient Mayan city. San Miguel. After an insightful visit ty South Beach allows evening action and At the bustling pier, a perky guide to Cozumel’s Museum, we saunter morning strolls in the art deco neighbourescorts us onto an air-conditioned back along the scenic waterfront on hood. bus. Heading into sparse green the 14-block “malecon,” viewing • Delta Airline offers special services: countryside, Ellen tells us about delightful sculptures and Avenida http://www.delta.com/help/site_map/ and Belize, the only English-speaking Melgar’s bustle, its main street. click on Travellers with Disabilities under country in Central America. FortyFollowing a sunny, fun-filled Planning and Reservations. five minutes later, she leads us over week of Caribbean adventures, we • Carnival services: www.carnival.com a level, hard-packed trail to grassy head home packing fond memories. Click on Guests with Special Requirements, ceremonial plazas surrounded by Discovering how inclusive and posunder Customer Help & Support. large excavated temples. We wonsible a cruise can be, we’ll recomder what lies still buried in other mend it to disabled friends, family huge mounds. and fellow adventurers. Perhaps these kindred spirits will join SL Once gathered, Ellen explains, “Archeologists believe Alus on our next rewarding cruise. tun Ha was settled around 250 BC flourishing until the Mayan civilization collapsed around 900 AD. Once, 10,000 people thrived at this trading, agricultural and ceremonial centre. A priest-king’s tomb from 600 AD was discovered beneath one temple with 300 artifacts comprised of pearls, pottery, shell necklaces, stingray bloodletting spines, ceremonial flints and jade ornaments.” Temple of the Masonry Altars towers above the other structures. Puffing up steep stone steps, we reach its sacrificial altar and terrific panoramas on top. Ellen points below, “Other high priests were found entombed in those three lower temples. Burial relics discovered within this temple include a priceless nine-and-a-half pound jade head of the Mayan Sun God.” Proceeding to a riverside resort, we sip frosty drinks on the breezy terrace before returning down Rio Wallace. Once an important trade route, nowadays, small farms and resorts sport little docks sticking out into its swirling water. Cattle graze along shady banks. Further along pink blossoming May trees and orange tulip trees contrast with the rainforest greenery. 12
SENIOR LIVING VANCOUVER & LOWER MAINLAND
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The Renaissance Resort Retirement Living features spacious studio, one bedroom, one bedroom & den, and two bedroom suites with a variety of apartment floor plans. Suites feature kitchenettes with an apartment sized fridge, cook top and or oven, ensuite bathroom with tub or shower, portable air conditioner, 24 hour emergency response systems, fire alarm and sprinkler systems. Opened in March 2005, our all inclusive suites start at $2000 per month and include many exceptional services such as weekly housekeeping, linen service, bus outings, reserved parking, valet service, and daily activities programs that promote an active lifestyle, and will fulfill your desire for retirement living that encourages health, independence and peace of mind. Also included in your monthly rent is all of your insuite utilities, such as cable, electricity and hydro, as well as the use of our amazing amenities such as 32 seat marquis theatre, library, Spa tubs, fitness centre, rose gardens and walking paths, computer business centre, dance floor, country kitchen, tuck shop, hair salon and much, much more. We offer fine dining in a restaurant-style atmosphere with open seating for lunch and dinner, and the convenience of continental breakfast served on each floor of living. At The Renaissance we’re raising expectations of what retirement life can be. We have a dedicated team of employees who take pride to ensure that our many services and amenities are paramount to each individual’s happiness.
To maintain your independence we also offer the opportunity to add extra personalized quality home care services through on site home care company, Cornerstone Care Society. With the goal of assisting our residents to maintain, or regain their independence, these home care services can be visits starting from as low as 15 minute intervals, and then tailored to your individual needs. We have staff that would be pleased to meet with you to develop the care plan best suited for you. We are also conveniently located close to shopping, dry cleaners, pharmacy, and a walk-in medical clinic. Make this part of your life, the best part of your life….at The Renaissance. Call 604-539-0571 to book a tour and experience for yourself this vibrant retirement complex.
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SEPTEMBER 2008
13
Maintaining Your Brain BY WENDY BURT-THOMAS
U
ntil recently, scientists believed the brain was stagnant, that is, incapable of change. If you damaged your brain from drugs, alcohol or even a car accident, there was little hope for improvement. For those with age-related cognitive decline, the prognosis was even worse: NO hope for improvement. But in the 1990s, researchers learned the truth about plasticity – the brain’s ability to birth new neurons at any age. Where brain researchers once focused on repairing old cells, they now turned their attention to the importance of creating newer, healthier ones. For those with memory loss, mental decline, and learning disabilities, the findings were beyond remarkable. The research made its way to the public relatively quickly – creating a near tidal wave of products that worked (like brainbuilding games) and many that didn’t (“miracle brain pills”). Despite the hype, legitimate sources like the Alzheimer’s Association agree that there are four realistic approaches to maintaining a healthy brain as one ages. They include: 1. Mental activity 2. Social activity 3. Physical activity 4. Proper diet Mental activity In recent years, media coverage of the brain’s ability to change has led to sudden sales of crosswords, Sudoku, and other cognitive improvementrelated books, magazines, puzzles and electronic games. It’s something most long-time brain experts are happy to see. “The fact that these neurosynaptic connections can be developed with cognitive skills training means we can literally transform the process of learning by improving a person’s ability to retrieve information, analyze variables, and apply logic and reasoning,” says Dr. Ken Gibson, author of Unlock the Einstein Inside: Applying New Brain Science to Wake Up the Smart in Your Child. “I’ve been studying the development 14
SENIOR LIVING VANCOUVER & LOWER MAINLAND
of these systems for nearly two decades and I’m thrilled to see that cognitive skills therapy is finally being recognized by the mainstream media for what it is – a revolutionary breakthrough in improving the way we learn.” Gibson is a fervent believer that cognitive skills can be improved both at home (with brain games), and in private centres (like brain-training facilities). “For the average person, doing word games at home is a great way to strengthen cognitive skills and maintain the brain,” he says. “And for those who are experiencing more serious age-related mental decline, there are brain-training companies that offer intense, one-on-one cognitive skills training. Research has shown us that we can now fight the toll of the aging process, so why shouldn’t we?” Social activity According to the Alzheimer’s Association, research shows that regular engagement in social activities helps maintain brain vitality. Social activities include emotional support, work, volunteering, travel and participation in clubs. “There’s a huge boom in online and handheld games for aging consumers to improve their mental function,” says Becky McLaughlin, who pioneered a pilot program for seniors to coincide with her brain-training programs for children and teens. “But not all senior citizens are going to turn on the computer or buy Nintendo. Seniors need local resources to strengthen their cognitive skills like memory, processing speed, and attention. Plus, cognitive decline doesn’t have to be age related, it can also be retirement related, which is why the social aspect of one-on-one interaction at the training facility plays such an important role.” A 2001 U.S. study, sponsored by the National Endowment for the Arts, the Center for Mental Health Studies, the National Institute of Mental Health, and the American Associa-
tion of Retired People (AARP) corroborates the theory. The study analyzed the impact of professionally conducted cultural programs on adults over 65, and found that opportunities to participate and attend ongoing cultural activities (singing, painting and poetry reading, for example) had healthy and encouraging benefits, including: • better overall health • fewer visits to their physician • decreased need for medication • fewer falls • diminished vision problems • a significant decrease on the Geriatric Depression Scale. The consensus? Maintaining friendships, relationships and activities will help maintain brain health. Physical activity Staying physically active is good for the body. But research now shows that even light to moderate aerobic exercise improves oxygen consumption, which helps the brain function better. In the elderly, aerobic exercise – such as walking, bicycling or yoga – has actually been found to reduce brain cell loss. Add the benefit of social interaction by asking a friend or family member to join a class. Proper diet No surprise here: What’s good for the body, is good for the brain. But what may be surprising is exactly how far science has come in identifying the compounds that are beneficial for the health and function of the brain. That body of research is growing daily, and supports the idea that along with proper sleep and exercise, many different types of foods are necessary for optimum mental functioning, including fluids, complex carbohydrates, proteins, beneficial fats, and various vitamins, minerals and antioxidants. Just look at these brain facts: • The brain uses 20 per cent of the body’s metabolic fuel, but makes up just two per cent of our body weight • The brain can’t store carbohydrates like muscles can so it requires a constant supply of glucose • Eating regularly ensures that the 100 billion nerve cells in the adult brain remain active Like many body organs, the brain operates best when blood glucose is stable. Lack of concentration and other mental lapses can readily occur when blood glucose levels dip or surge. Ways to keep glucose stable include: • Eating complex carbohydrates instead of simple sugars Boundary marker • Balancing carbohydrates by eating them with small
amounts of protein, beneficial fats and fibre • Snacking throughout the day instead of consuming giant meals • Eating breakfast To metabolize glucose, our brain cells need oxygen, which gets to the brain by hemoglobin, the large iron-containing protein in red blood cells. Therefore, adequate iron is essential, along with Vitamin C, to help the body absorb certain types of iron. In one study, less than one-third of the female participants had sufficient iron in their blood. These women performed cognitive exercises better and faster than women who were iron deficient. Iron supplementation closed the mental gap, however, and the formerly anemic women did five to seven times better on their cognitive performance after supplementation. Other vitamins, minerals and trace elements are important for brain function too. Vitamin B-1 enables the metabolism of glucose. Potassium, sodium and calcium are used for nerve cell signalling and metabolic reactions. Zinc is important for concentration and memory. Even slight mineral deficits can lead to fatigue, forgetfulness and concentration problems. Unsaturated fats also support brain function, especially the polyunsaturated omega-3 fatty acids found in fish. These oils are crucial for building brain cell membranes and protecting brain blood vessels. Many studies have shown they help guard against depression. Other studies show eating just one to three servings of fish per month significantly decreases the risk of stroke. The brain is also dependent on protein, which boosts attention. Amino acids are the building blocks of protein. Those enzymes produce structural materials and transporters for the brain. Water, of course, is vital for proper brain function. Nutrients can reach the brain in adequate amounts only if the body gets enough fluid. Studies show that even slight dehydration slows the rate nutrients can enter the brain, producing short-term memory deficits, reasoning difficulties and other cognitive problems. Keeping our brains optimally powered is also dependent on when we eat. Eating breakfast is critically important for mental function in the morning. Results from 22 studies of school-age kids show that breakfast eaters have better memories, test scores and school attendance rates. Snacking between meals can also prevent or reduce mental dips by keeping a consistent blood glucose level. Although you may not be able to completely stave off the effects of age-related cognitive decline, incorporating mental, social and physical exercise, as well as a balanced diet may be SL your best route to maintaining brain health. SEPTEMBER 2008
15
CHALLENGING AUTHORITY BY MONA LEE
R
afe Mair is known as a controversial and outspoken journalist. When Americans ask him what he does, Rafe says he’s like Larry King, but he asks hard questions and lets his politics show. The 76 year old describes himself as a contrarian who has “never liked being told what to do, and challenged authority at every turn.” With family roots in Scotland and New Zealand, Rafe was born into an upper middle class family in Vancouver. His father worked in the paper box business and his mother wrote for The Province’s women’s pages. As a child, he followed the Second World War closely, admired Sir Winston Churchill and dreamed of being a navy sailor. Rafe knows how lucky he was to grow up as part of the establishment. “I was 16
born in the right place to the right people,” he says. “If I got into trouble, I had a great network to fall back on.” When he graduated from law school, he refused to take advantage of his family’s connections to work in reputable law firms. Because law clerks were not paid well, he supported his wife and children by working at an oil company, insurance firm and sawmill for a while. When he started articling, he chose to work for maverick lawyer Tommy Griffiths and moonlighted as a golf instructor for extra income. As it happens, Rafe is an avid golfer and a devoted fan of Tiger Woods. He practised law for 15 years in Vancouver and Kamloops. His defence of a cabaret owner and exotic dancer brought him instant publicity and led to his nomination as an alderman in Kam-
SENIOR LIVING VANCOUVER & LOWER MAINLAND
loops. His participation in civic politics served as a springboard to provincial politics. In 1975, Rafe became a B.C. Social Credit cabinet minister under Premier Bill Bennett. “The legislature was a scary place for me,” he wrote. “But I soon got the hang of it because it was bombast and rudeness, not carefully articulated arguments, that carried the day.” During his five years as cabinet minister, Rafe held portfolios in environment, health, education and consumer affairs. He is proud of developing B.C.’s Okanagan wineries and negotiating a deal with Seattle’s mayor and the Seattle Light and Power Company to halt the raising of Ross Dam for electric power. Had it been built, the dam would have flooded the Skagit River Valley in Canada and threatened fish migrations.
In December 1980, journalist Jack Webster asked Rafe if he was happy in politics. In confidence, he admitted his unhappiness and his decision not to seek re-election. Webster introduced him to Mel Cooper of CFAX 1070 and Jimmy Pattison, owner of CJOR/CKBD 600. The meetings paved his way to his next career. At the age of 50, Rafe became a talk show host at CJOR 600 in 1981. He loved it and received good ratings as a radio personality. As a lawyer and politician, he had enjoyed his stints on radio in Kamloops, Victoria and Vancouver. “When I went into radio, I decided I would change it or leave it altogether,” he says. The radio talk shows of the day were call-in shows with psychics and numerologists. Rafe changed that by adding editorials, thought-provoking topics and interesting guests to his show. Three years later, he was replaced when his contract negotiations with CJOR fell through. Unemployed and broke, Rafe and his second wife, Patti, were living beyond their means. “My house was worth less than my two mortgages, I had no job, no money in the bank, maxed out credit cards and I owed the bank and government $250,000,” he recalls. “My lawyer advised me to declare bankruptcy, but I wasn’t going around with a big B on my forehead!” It would take him six years to clean up his financial situation. To stave off bankruptcy, he worked as a consultant for the government and media and gave public relations seminars. By November 1984, he returned to radio to host a midnight show at CKNW, CJOR’s rival station. He then moved on to an evening show, afternoon show and finally, a morning show. Rafe shared with listeners his personal fight with depression during a 1998 broadcast about mental health.
Several factors had contributed to his depression: a chemical imbalance, his daughter’s untimely death, his divorce from his first wife, bankruptcy and a stressful job. He and CKNW raised public awareness and the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) honoured him with “Media Person of the Year” awards in 1997 and 1998, one of which he shared with Pamela Wallin. One of the highlights of his radio career was the 1992 Charlottetown referendum. Rafe was an outspoken opponent of Brian Mulroney’s constitutional accords and has written how lonely he was as “the only journalist regularly on-air and in print to oppose the Meech Lake and Charlottetown Accords from start to finish.” In the end, 69 per cent of British Columbians were opposed to the referendum. The B.C. Association
of Broadcasters presented Rafe with the Broadcast Performer of the Year Award in 1993. That same year, he and Patti divorced and he met the love of his life, Wendy. Another career highlight was the stoppage of Alcan’s Kemano project. Alcan had plans to dam the Nechako River to build up electrical power for their Kitimat aluminum plants. Rafe discovered that the project would be detrimental to the environment and destroy the local salmon habitat. His investigative research gave Premier Mike Harcourt’s government sufficient reason to halt the project. Consequently, Rafe won the prestigious Michener Award from the Governor-General of Canada for courageous journalism. He enjoyed top ratings during his 19 years at CKNW before his show was
»
The Vancouver International Writers & Readers Festival October 21 – 26 , 2008
One hundred writers from around the world – interviews, performances and readings at intimate venues on Granville Island.
Austin Clarke
Amitav Ghosh
Richard Gwyn
Ursula K. Le Guin
Daphne Marlatt
Jonathan Raban
Andreas Schroeder
C.C. Humphreys
Peter Matthiessen George McWhirter
Gillian Slovo
Ronald Wright
Patrick Lane
Sharon Olds
Michael Nicoll Yahgulanaas
Tickets on sale September 15 at Vancouvertix.com or call 604.629.8849 Info: 604.681.6330 www.writersfest.bc.ca
presenting a world of words on granville island
DATE DOCKET
AUGUST 15, 2008 116-3411
REVISION OPERATOR
1 TS
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SEPTEMBER 2008
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Photos: Nick Didlick
suddenly cancelled in 2003. Rafe cannot talk about the events leading to his departure from the station. But shortly thereafter, Rafe received a standing ovation when he was awarded the Bruce Hutchison Lifetime Achievement Award from the Jack Webster Foundation. Rafe is no stranger to controversy. A libel suit was filed against him for his 1999 editorial of Kari Simpson’s opposi-
tion to gay-friendly books in school libraries. She went to the Court of Appeal and won. In June 2008, the Supreme Court of Canada made a landmark decision and overturned the case. “For someone who’s been fighting for free speech for as long as I have, this is a nice legal legacy to leave behind,” he says. Rafe was inducted into the Canadian Association of Broadcasters’ Hall of Fame and was voted the best radio talk show host in Vancouver by Georgia Straight readers in 2005. For two years, he was a talk show host at CKBD 600 AM. He prepared weekly editorials for CKVU (now CityTV) and became a regular commentary guest on The Standard, OMNI TV’s current affairs program. He keeps a busy schedule these days: he prepares weekly editorials for CBC Radio’s The Early Edition, continues to appear on Omni Television and writes online columns for The Tyee and Opinion 250. He scoffs at the mention of retirement. “I’ve never considered myself a senior citizen,” he says. “I can’t retire because I missed 50, 55, 60, 65, 70 and 75. It’s too late now!” For the past eight years, he has organized the Bottom Line conference on how to deal with mental illness in the workplace. “I’m proud that we have top-notch speakers come for a day-long seminar once a year. The media is the place where more awareness is needed,” Rafe says. Mental illness costs 18
SENIOR LIVING VANCOUVER & LOWER MAINLAND
families and industry and remains the target of jokes. The social stigma is still great, particularly for men, who are told to take it like a man. Rafe is an avid fisherman who has stopped fishing. He is a vocal critic of fish farming because the conditions can attract and breed sea lice in farmed salmon and then infest wild salmon smolt. Rafe serves as the spokesman for the Save Our Rivers Society, which opposes the privatization of rivers and streams for energy. As a grandfather, he looks ahead and worries about issues that concern future generations. His writing and reading are shaped by how his grandchildren see the world. He feels most blessed for meeting Wendy 15 years ago. “She’s had a remarkable influence on me, helping me carry on a career, which I wouldn’t have without her.” He is also grateful to the late Jack Webster for steering him towards radio broadcasting. While he tolerates small nuisances like being recognized in public and receiving strange letters and death threats, he admits he’s had an interesting career in radio. “I was B.C. Broadcaster of the Year, twice short-listed for the Michener Award, won the Michener Award and Hutchison Lifetime Achievement Award, went into the Hall of Fame, in which time, I was fired three times!” he says. “You’d think by looking at the CV, that’s great! What a pleasure he must have been to work SL with!” Rafe Mair’s latest book, What the Bleep is Going On Here? is available in bookstores. Visit his website at www.rafeonline.com Books By Rafe Mair The Last Cast (1994) Canada, Is Anyone Listening? (1998) Rants, Raves and Recollections (2000) Still Ranting (2002) Rafe: A Memoir (2004) Hard Talk (2005) Over the Mountains: More Thoughts on Things That Matter (2006) What the Bleep is Going On Here? (2008)
Visit Senior Living’s Online Bookstore Discover a Selection of Books by Senior Authors and on Topics of Interest to Seniors NEW RELEASE IDENTITY THEFT: In Your Good Name by George Greenwood
One in four Canadians has been directly affected or knows someone who has been a victim of identity theft. The best prevention is to be aware of the problem and how it is carried out. Published 2007. 173 pages. 8.5”x11” Softcover. Price $26.95
REFLECTIONS, REJECTIONS AND OTHER BREAKFAST FOODS by Gipp Forster
A collection of Gipp Forster’s published columns in Senior Living magazine, with other unpublished writings thrown in for good measure.
EMBRACE THE JOURNEY - A Care Giver’s Story By Valerie Green
The very personal story of her own journey as a care giver to her elderly parents. Relevant for numerous adult children who are faced with a similar challenge. 96 pages. Price $14.95
Price $14.95
TO MOVE OR NOT TO MOVE?
A Helpful Residential Options Guide for Seniors
If you are a senior who has been wondering lately whether you should consider moving - then this is the book that can help you ask the right questions and find the solution that is right for you. Published by Senior Living. 128 pages.
Price $9.95
RED TOMATOES By Les MacNeill
Les MacNeill and Marcia Stromsmoe spent 6 years sailing the South Pacific. In 2001, a brutal attack left Les with 8 skull fractures, severe brain trauma, and a ruptured eye. Although not expected to live, he wrote this story of the trip, his recovery, and how he lives with his injuries. Published 2007. 100 pages. 6” x 9” Softcover. Price $14.95
MY PATCHWORK LIFE by Patricia O’Connor
After training as a fashion model in Dublin Patricia O’Connor travelled Europe and the US, working for many top designers. An audition led to several years as a popular TV presenter, followed by a career as a stockbroker and real estate agent. Published by Starcast Publishing. 182 pages.
NATURE’S BOUNTY: Why certain foods are so good for you by Dr. Bala Naidoo
Articles on fruits, vegetables, beverages and other topics, covering the health benefits of fibre, omega-3 fats, folates, antioxidants and other phytonutrients. Reduce the risks of heart disease, cancer, type-2 diabetes and obesity by choosing your food carefully. 176 pages.
Price $21.95
Price $14.95
THE SEARCH FOR JACQUELINE
THE SPOILS OF ANGEL’S WAR
The search for the truth behind the reported death of the mother of top model Annie O’Hanlon. Annie receives an urgent call from journalist Dermot Moore who believes her mother Jacqueline is still alive. Their hunt for answers almost costs Dermot his life. Published 2005 by Publish America. 195 pages.
The story unfolds in England at the beginning of WWII. Angela Gibson, affectionately known as Angel, finds out that it isn’t always the plans that we make for our life, sometimes it’s the plans that life makes for us that determines the course of our life. Published 2007 by Publish America. 144 pages.
By Patricia O’Connor
Price $23.95
By Dave Sheed
Price $20.00
GIPP FORSTER’S COLLECTED RAMBLINGS
NATURE’S BOUNTY: More about foods for a longer and healthier life
A collage of over 150 anecdotes and insightful ruminations on life’s experiences, first aired on C-FAX radio, now provided in print format for your reading enjoyment. Published 1989. 188 pages. 5.5” x 8.5” Softcover.
Articles on fruits, vegetables, herbs, spices and other foods. It shows how, by choosing your food properly, you can reduce the risks of heart disease, cancer, type-2 diabetes and obesity. Published 2005. 168 pages.
by Gipp Forster
by Dr. Bala Naidoo
Price $10.00
Price $21.95
NUDE ON A FENCE by Eliza Hemingway
Fourteen short stories about people in compromising situations similar to being caught nude on a fence. Some are humorous, others poignant. Published 2006. 269 pages. 8.25” x 5.25” Softcover. Price $17.95
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GST and Shipping Costs will apply. Please allowSEPTEMBER 2 weeks for 2008delivery 19
CULTURAL AMBASSADOR
BY MONA LEE
J
ohanna Rundell was born in Holland, raised in Britain and captivated by Canada. The 57 year old recalls her immigration experience, work history and her role as a cultural ambassador to young people from many countries. Born to a Dutch woman and British man who met during the Second World War, Johanna recounts how she and her parents lived in the same tiny house as her mother’s father and siblings in Holland. “My parents couldn’t find accommodation in Holland, and with a baby it 20
was hard.” They had little privacy, so moved to England, with hopes for better employment prospects and home-buying opportunities. “My mom uprooted herself,” says Johanna. “She didn’t speak any English and learned the language while caring for me, a year-old baby. It had to be really hard for her to give up her career and [leave] a relatively comfortable life in Holland to go to England.” They lived in a trailer park, welcomed two more daughters to the family and
SENIOR LIVING VANCOUVER & LOWER MAINLAND
Johanna Rundell enjoys an outing with two of her home-stay students.
moved into a house. At 18, Johanna left home with her parents’ blessing. After a trip to Holland, she returned to England and held odd jobs as a dental assistant and factory worker before embarking on a career in hospitality. She established herself as an accomplished French service waitress. French service is a high standard of table service where the waiter presents the platter at the ta-
ble and serves the food on to the guest’s plate. This contrasts the North American custom of the cook plating the guest’s food in the kitchen. “It’s a good career, like silver service in England for specialized banquets,” she says. “I was qualified to serve wines and worked in upscale restaurants and hotels. I was good at what I did.” Acting on her wish to work abroad, Johanna applied for six or seven nanny positions. She accepted the first job offer and moved to Montreal, Quebec in 1976 on an 18-month work permit. She quickly discovered that childcare was not her passion. It was neither fulfilling, lucrative nor stimulating enough to hold her interest. “I didn’t like working as a nanny. I’m a good housekeeper and cook, but I get bored really quickly.” Within six months of her arrival, she knew she wanted to stay in Canada. “Occasionally, I missed my family and friends, but mostly my life was too full and busy to miss them.” Johanna experienced a few challenges adapting to her new home. Some vocabulary commonly used in England had different meanings here, so there were a few embarrassing and laughter-creating moments. The size of vehicles, roads and appliances, and the Montreal winters shocked her. “None of the clothing I brought with me was suitable for a Canadian winter,” she recalls. “Fortunately, my employer helped me find a warmer coat that I could afford and I saved up for a good pair of winter boots.” Eight weeks before her work permit expired, she met Derek at a house-warming party. The couple spent much of the remaining weeks together, but there was no certainty that Johanna would be allowed to return to Montreal. “Back then, you had to apply for permanent Canadian residency from your country of origin,” she says. She returned to England in 1978. For six months she waited for her immigration documents, while Derek wooed her by mail. Shortly after Christmas 1978, Johanna returned to Montreal and moved in with him. She entered the Canadian hotel industry. There was no call for French service in Canada and she knew employers wouldn’t call her British references to verify her qualifications. She started as a chambermaid, quickly proved herself capable and got promoted to supervisory positions. Due to a back injury and subsequent accident, Johanna went on disability for 18 months. When she found it difficult to hold a full-time job, she worked part-time at McGill University Library. Tourism suffered a downturn when Montreal’s political, labour and language issues rose to the forefront. She and Derek were married and decided to start fresh in Vancouver. They arrived in Vancouver in 1984, aware that her disability payments would end when she moved to British Columbia. She briefly worked part-time at a photo laboratory prior to working as a chambermaid at the Hyatt Regency Hotel.
Once more, she rose through the ranks to assistant executive housekeeper and was headhunted by hotels like Sutton Place. She then worked at a small hotel until it declared bankruptcy prior to Expo 86. She had no problem finding employment as a supervisor at Hotel Vancouver, where she stayed for a number of years. “I missed Montreal and my friends very much and, for the first time in my life, I was homesick. It took me three years to admit that Vancouver was home and that I actually could be happy here.” While her professional life soared, her marriage suffered. Johanna and Derek were both unhappy, as their schedules did not allow them to spend time together. “I worked weekends and nights,” she says. “He was off weekends, studying as a financial advisor and had no business contacts. My money was keeping a roof over our heads, while Derek struggled to make it in his field.” When Derek asked her to consider a career change, she agreed and started a new career at Royal LePage Realty as the receptionist and office manager. The regular work hours provided them with much-needed family time. After three years of struggle, Derek succeeded in establishing himself in his profession. They bought a large three-level house in New Westminster with a plan to convert it to a bed and breakfast. However, when Johanna was diagnosed with fibromyalgia (a disorder with symptoms of muscle pain, stiffness and fatigue), she put the bed and breakfast idea to rest. And then Royal LePage laid her off work. Johanna used her skills and experience in hospitality to take in foreign students from the local high school in order to generate income. “The kids are uncertain in a strange environment and I give them a safe, clean and healthy environment and good food,” Johanna says. “I provide them with a private sitting area, TV, computer and phone line. All they have to do is help with the dishes, keep their room tidy, make their bed and change their sheets.” Her first two home-stay students were teenagers: a bulimic girl and a boy with anti-social tendencies. As Johanna did not have children of her own, she was inexperienced dealing with teenagers. These negative experiences did not deter her from taking in more students. She made a conscious decision to take in mostly female students in their 20s and 30s. They were easier to deal with. “They’re young adults who are fairly accomplished and have developed personalities,” she says. “I don’t have to worry about feedings, changing nappies and the hassles of the teenage years.” The home-stay arrangement was initially born out of financial necessity and evolved into a desire to foster international relations. Her experiences with older students were positive. She and Derek enjoy the camaraderie of young people. As cultural ambassadors, they make an effort to learn and understand the culture and customs that shape a student’s behav-
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SEPTEMBER 2008
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iour. Over the course of nine years, the Rundells housed approximately 50 students from countries like Germany, Japan, Brazil, Korea, Switzerland, Taiwan and France. Johanna and Derek show the students around the city and teach them how to use the public transit system. If a student gets lost, they locate them and drive them home. When she and Derek go on vacation, she cooks meals and freezes them for the students. Johanna teaches the young women street smarts, such as being aware of their surroundings and not to leave unattended purses or drinks at nightclubs. She admits she has a strong, motherly instinct: “I nag like a parent because I don’t want them to get hurt.” The students have stayed for durations of one month to four years. Most of them keep in touch with Johanna. Others get married and stay in Canada. She calls them her “chil-
dren.” One young man flew to North America on business and detoured to Vancouver to visit Johanna and Derek. One woman invited the Rundells to her wedding in Brazil, and they stayed with her family. “She’s now a teacher with two children who call me grandmother!” she says. “I have 50 children all around the world. Who would’ve thought that someone who didn’t want children would end up with so many?” Her children rallied around her when she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2007. The outpouring of love and support astonished Johanna. “I sent an e-mail to all of them to let them know I had cancer,” she recalls. “I had phone calls from Germany, e-mails from Switzerland and the Brazilians and Japanese were worried I wasn’t going to make it. They encouraged me and prayed for me.” During her chemotherapy treatment, her neighbours cut the grass and dropped by with flowers and meals for her and Derek. Her home-stay student, Yoko, took care of her and Derek through this difficult time. “I relied on her completely,” says Johanna. “What Limited Edition!! Reflection��s,�������� a blessing! She’s not even mine – she’s borrowed!” Foods A collection of Gipp Forster’s published columns in and Other Breakfast Johanna feels lucky and grateful Senior Living magazine, with other unpublished for the support of her husband, friends writings thrown in for good measure. A unique and children. Her goal is to get better blend of humor and nostalgia, Gipp’s writings so she and Derek can enjoy a year of touch your heart in such an irresistible way, you fun and relaxation. When their current will want to buy not only a copy for yourself, but as a wonderful gift for friends and family members. house renovations are complete, they plan to go boating and visiting friends and family in Montreal and Holland. 128 pages Softcover • Published by Senior Living Johanna would love to try hot air balPrice: $14.95 looning. “My dream is to visit Venice, Tus“Reflections” MAIL-IN ORDER FORM cany and Provence and to see some of Name___________________________________________________________ my wonderful students in Japan,” she Address_________________________________________________________ says. “My husband has promised that City____________________________________________ Prov ___________ we will do these things over the next Postal Code_______________ Phone _________________________________ couple of years, and in all our years toEmail ___________________________________________________________ gether, he has never broken a promise to me.” = $____________ ____ BOOKS @ $14.95 each Johanna’s motto is to live as if there SHIPPING (FIRST BOOK $3.95; ADD’L BOOKS $1.95 EACH) = $____________ is no tomorrow. She has no regrets and SUBTOTAL = $____________ thinks that taking risks is part of learnGST (5% on above SUBTOTAL) = $____________ ing and living. She believes the single TOTAL = $____________ most important thing in her life is mak___ CHEQUE (make payable to Senior Living) ing and keeping friends. “Last year, I ____VISA ____MC ___ CREDIT CARD learned how many people love me and CARD NUMBER ______________________________ I love them in return,” Johanna says. EXPIRY DATE ________________ “I think I’ve had and still have a good NAME ON CARD _____________________________ life. All the things I’ve done, including Mail to: Gipp Forster Book Offer c/o Senior Living the mistakes, are what made me who I Box 153, 1581–H Hillside Ave., Victoria BC V8T 2C1 am and I can’t change any of it.” SL
Reflections, Rejections, and Other Breakfast Foods Limited Edition
MAGAZINE
& Unpublished Writings A Collection of Published nist Gipp Forster by Senior Living Colum
Please allow two weeks for shipping.
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SENIOR LIVING VANCOUVER & LOWER MAINLAND
BBB Better Better Better Better
D
Business Business Business Business
Bureau Bureau Bureau Bureau
SCAM ALERT
BY LYNDA PASACRETA
LIVING SMARTER
id you know that weatherizing your doors and windows could save you $450 per year? How about upgrading your existing gas furnace with a high-energy efficiency furnace and saving $260 annually? Recent changes, brought on by carbon taxes, rising fuel costs and subsidies for energy efficient products, have many consumers contacting the BBB to find out more on how to save. While there are savings to be realized, when getting a consultation, do business with companies that are legitimate energy advisors. This is the season when many operators visit door-to-door offering furnace checks and, in some cases, offering home energy audits. Before you allow someone into your home, consider the following: Check their record. Start with the BBB to check their records and get quotes. Go to www.bbb.org for more information.
efficiency. The B.C. government may pay up to half, but you will only be refunded once you make the audit’s recommended improvements. Audit yourself. Start by doing a home energy audit by switching to energy efficient bulbs, turning lights, TVs and computers off when not in use, and maybe even hanging your clothes to dry to save on energy costs. For consumers curious to learn more about what they can do to become more energy efficient, and learn about government rebates and grants, check out www.livesmartbc.ca Visit the Better Business Bureau for more helpful tips like SL these at www.bbb.org
Sherwood House
Independent Retirement Living with Supportive Services 280 Government Street, Duncan 250-715-0116
Make sure the company is licensed. If they offer to clean fans, blowers or furnaces, they require a gas fitters license. Ask to see their license from the BC Safety Authority. If they claim to be energy advisors or provide home energy audits, check them out. Businesses that are qualified energy advisors are licensed by Natural Resources Canada to deliver the ecoENERGY Retrofit-Homes energy evaluation service in your area. Call 1-800-O-CANADA to verify that they are licensed. Audits are partially refundable only if you make the improvements. If you are looking for a home energy audit, it may cost up to $300. The energy advisor will inspect your doors, windows, insulation, heating and cooling systems and provide advice and information on improving your home’s Lynda Pasacreta is President of the Better Business Bureau of Mainland B.C. For confidence in marketplace transactions, contact the BBB to check a company report or Buyers’ Tip before you purchase or invest. www.bbbvan.org or 604-682-2711. To contact Lynda Pasacreta, e-mail her at president@bbbvan.org
How would you like to spend your freedom years?
Imagine . . .
Independent retirement living in spacious one and two bedroom suites with supportive services allowing you to enjoy life to the fullest!
Call today to book your tour with our friendly staff 250-715-0116 www.sherwood-house.com SEPTEMBER 2008
23
GOLDEN O
BY NADINE JONES
ur Golden Years may not be filled with gold bars grow them! Being outdoors when I want to be is wonderful but, if we look closely enough, we realize there and makes me forget I’m old and wrinkly with bad ankles. are a few gold flakes and even some nuggets The roses I raise don’t care what I look like. I can tell them how I feel and they keep it to themselves.” when we become septuagenarians plus. Many of us now have time to tend for and love our gardens Being a senior myself, I lined up like-aged interviewees and asked them the question, “What do you like about old but for some seniors it becomes very difficult. One friend has developed her own method of working in the soil; one age?” They had to think. Dorothy, 81, a former office manager and mother of six she has dubbed “Horizontal Gardening.” “I can’t stoop or has only eight per cent vision because of macular degen- kneel the way I used to, but I love my garden and am detereration. Understandably, she has a lot to complain about. mined to keep on enjoying it as long as possible,” she says. A capable person, Dorothy can no longer drive, but that “So what I use is a large plastic garbage bag and a firm cushdoesn’t stop her. She takes public transport to get around as ion. I gather the tools I’ll need and make sure I bring a chair a volunteer, visiting and bolsterclose to help me get up when I’m finished. Then, I lie down on my ing the self-confidence of the reside on the bag, prop myself up cently blind who have requested “I used to hate birthdays on my elbow on the cushion and counselling. Her positive attitude and now I don’t mind them voila I have a free hand for weedtoward her own disability gives frightened clients hope for their ing or planting.” anymore because, the more own future. Another friend joked that I have, the longer I’ve lived!” Dorothy’s answer to my quessince her husband’s eyesight isn’t that great anymore he can’t chase tion has nothing to do with viother women! sion: “What I appreciate most “One of the best things about being old is that I’m no about being old is not having to get up and go to work on longer on a high or low emotional roller coaster,” says ancold winter mornings,” she says. Becky, a retired schoolteacher in her late 70s, who copes other. “Nothing seems to be all that important anymore; with debilitating arthritis, says, “I find people so kind. men, kids. Instead of being worried about kids surviving Maybe they were always kind and I didn’t notice it, but adolescence or a husband’s infidelity, I have ‘chilled,’ as the now I get helped up and down curbs and across the street. kids say. In a lot of ways, life is easier now.” And young people offer to carry my parcels. Drivers wait Loneliness can be a plague of old age. But television can for me to cross the streets at crosswalks without honking entertain and educate us. And with access to a computer and their horns. And another reason? I used to hate birthdays the Internet, we can visit with family and friends and travel and now I don’t mind them anymore because, the more I all over the world from our comfy chairs at home. have, the longer I’ve lived!” One housebound senior solved the problem of loneliness Betty, 94, recently sold her home of 61 years and moved by posting a notice in her building elevator asking if anyone into a care facility. After a long pause, she says, “Sometimes, would like to come to tea. She had callers, made friends, and I feel sorry for myself because now I have to follow other a bridge club evolved. To ensure her safety, she had a young people’s routines. But then I think how lucky I am to be able friend with her when the first visitors arrived. And hey, don’t forget the savings of Seniors’ Discounts! to afford the care I’m getting. If I lived in many other counOne friend told me, “No matter where I am or what I’m buytries, I would have been dead a long time ago.” Eighty-seven-year-old Peter, a retired school headmaster ing, I always ask for their seniors’ discount, whether it’s adand my English cousin says, “For years I worked non-stop vertised or not. Surprisingly often, I get one!” and was told repeatedly to slow down and take time to smell And, of course, the most wonderful thing about old age is the roses. Now, I not only smell them but have the time to grandchildren. Children are a balm against old age. 24
SENIOR LIVING VANCOUVER & LOWER MAINLAND
By posing the question of what is good about the Golden Years to a series of friends and acquaintances, I’ve come to believe that the keys are to keep busy, chill, and find ways to make new friends. No matter what your gripes, whether the years have bent you double or made you waddle like a penguin or, from time to time, you ache all over, stop and think about your own list of things to be grateful for. As author Eda LeShan noted in the title of her 1997 book, SL It’s Better to be Over the Hill than Under It.
Are you a Care Giver or expect to be one?
You are not alone!
NEW RELEASE
96 pages Softcover 5.5” x 8.5” Price $14.95
Embrace the Journey - A Care Giver’s Story
Valerie Green’s personal story as a care giver to her elderly parents is the most relevant book on “aging in place” I have read to date. It provides a powerful insight into the challenges faced by every care giver. It unveils the challenges, heartaches, struggles and agonizing decisions that often need to be made along the way. If you are currently a care giver, or anticipate being one in the near future, this book is a must-read. - Publisher Barbara Risto, Senior Living magazine
To order, please send cheque for $19.84 ($14.95 plus $3.95 S&H & GST) payable to Senior Living. Please include your clearly written shipping address and phone number.
The author demonstrates horizontal gardening.
MAIL TO: Embrace Book Offer c/o Senior Living 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave., Victoria BC V8T 2C1
Allow two weeks for shipping.
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Stop by today or call to schedule ��������������������������������� your complimentary lunch & tour. �������������������������������� Ask us about our Assisted Living packages. �������������������������� �������������������������������� ������������ �������������������������� ������������������������ ������������ ������������������������
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SEPTEMBER 2008
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Facing My Fears BY CLAIRE WILSON
N
ever say “never.” Believe me. I learned this the hard way. At some point in the past, I looked at a flimsy, tipsy kayak and stated, “You’ll never get me in one of those!” Somewhere, a cosmic force said, “Oh, yeah?” My friends, Steve and Jean, purchased a double kayak and requested that I photograph their return from a sunset paddle up the Qualicum River estuary. No problem. So long as I was on dry land, I’d be happy to oblige. Then it happened. As I raised my camera and framed the red and gold of the sunset, the joyful look on my friends’ faces, the gentle lap of the waves. Well, you get the picture; I wanted to be in that kayak too. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t scared spitless at the thought of sitting in the 26
The author captures a friend at rest.
water in a tipsy kayak. I had failed beginner’s swimming lessons as a kid because I refused to put my head under water. I also refused to jump off the side of the pool into the shallow end or to release my fingers from their death grip on the edge. So, I dismissed the idea of getting into a kayak at my advanced age as a ridiculous thought that had somehow been summoned by that sunset experience. A few days later, I was picking up a memorial plaque to place in the cemetery where my husband’s ashes were interred. I looked across the street. “All Marine” read the sign. “Boats, Motors, Kayaks and Accessories.” “No way!” said the real me. “All right!” said the evil twin, who had taken over my mind and body and took me across the street, pointed to the single version of Steve and Jean’s kayak and said, “I’ll take that one.”
SENIOR LIVING VANCOUVER & LOWER MAINLAND
Islands.
The salesman did a good imitation of a fish on dry land. He looked at my graying hair, my black skirt and sensible shoes. Then he saw the look in my eyes. He gave me his spiel about this particular model, discussed options and safety equipment, took my cheque and helped me to load up. I was shaking with trepidation as I drove away, but I was also grinning from ear to ear. This was probably the first genuine smile I’d managed since my husband had died suddenly about four months before. My friends, Steve and Jean, are saints. Really. Although I did detect a few unsaint-like mutterings from Steve. They led me through my first attempts at kayaking. They seemed to understand when I insisted that there could be no ripples on the water; the bottom must always be visible; there could be no wind, no chop, and no salt spray.
Photos: Claire Wilson
In the Bro ken Grou p
I advanced from fighting small children for space in shallow tidal pools at the beach to paddling beside the shore at Spider Lake. Finally, the tides, the moon and the weather were all in alignment. We launched our kayaks and paddled slowly parallel to the shore all the way to the Little Qualicum River. And then it happened. I forgot to worry about the depth of the water, ripples or currents. I watched as a mother deer grazed nearby with her two babies; I gazed in awe at the mountains in the distance and an eagle soaring overhead. A blue heron looked down its nose (Okay, its beak) at me. A harbour seal popped up in front of my kayak and, I swear, it grinned as I stopped to watch! On the trip back to shore, we turned our kayaks, rafted together and watched the sun sink below the horizon. When our kayaks hit the rocky shore, I was sad that the adventure was over. I put one tired leg over the edge of my kayak. It tipped. I slipped. And I came up sputtering and laughing. I have continued to enjoy paddling and have explored the lakes on Quadra Island and the Broken Group Islands; I’ve even gone through some white water rapids in the Stamp River. (Okay, other people would call them ripples; they were scary enough and fast enough for me to call them rapids.) Now that I have conquered one fear, my friends wonder what is next. Will I try motorcycle riding? No, I will nev… SL Well, maybe.
s d e fi i s s Cla ANTI-AGING SKIN CARE. Reduce fine lines and wrinkles. Visible results. No needles. No procedures. Free samples. Call Patricia 250-889-4348. THE MOVIE ABOUT YOU! Filmmaker interviews parents and you. Save photos and slides with video. It’s your own life story family film. www.heirloomfilms.ca 604-275-4900 or 604-417-6058. FRIENDS OF THE VPL are looking for volunteers with retail experience for book’mark, The Library Store at Central Library, 350 West Georgia Street, Vancouver V6B 6B1. A minimum of 4 hours per week. Please address your resume to Pat. E-mail friends@friendsofthevpl.ca
Getaway to beautiful Victoria, BC The Best Western Inner Harbour is in Victoria`s best location – at the Inner Harbour, just steps to shops, cafes & scenic walks. Free continental breakfast, parking, H/S internet, movies & more. Kitchen studios & deluxe suites, also ideal for extended stays (weekly/ monthly rates available). 1-888-383-2378 VictoriaBestWestern.com
WORKED IN BRITAIN? You may be entitled to a British State Pension! Information from Canadian Alliance of British Pensioners. Call 604-683-3445, or toll-free 1-800-760-6633. www.britishpensions.bc.ca BEAUTIFUL VICTORIA. EXCEPTIONAL two bedroom penthouse with fireplace vaulted ceiling in prime independent living retirement residence. 24hour staffing and services provided. Walk to Senior Recreation Centre, shopping and seawalk. $309,000. Dave Hillmer Newport Realty 1-888-886-1286.
HOME SUPPORT SERVICES
Seeking Independence? Moving or Downsizing? • Companionship • Meal Preparation • Shopping • Home Safety Checks • Errands • Handyman Services • Housekeeping Care 4 You Transitions 778-855-9086 care4youtransitions.com
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING $30 for 20 words or less. $1.25 per extra word. Boxed Ad - Small (2.2 x 1.2) $95. Boxed Ad - Large (2.2 x 2.4) $180. Add Logo/Color - $25 extra. Plus 5% GST. All Classified ads must be prepaid.Cheque or Credit Card accepted. Ph. (250)479-4705. Deadline: 15th of the month. Make cheque payable to: Senior Living, 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave.,Victoria BC V8T 2C1
Photos: Claire Wilson
EVENTS LISTINGS
Breaking for lunch.
Event listings will be accepted for publication in this section. To qualify for free placement, events must be free to the public, of interest and benefit to our Vancouver readership, be under 50 words in length, and have no connection to a business or commercial venture - i.e. no company benefits financially as a result of the event. If the event has a charge attached to it or there is a commercial connection or financial benefit, the listing will be charged at the Classified Rate (see above). Senior Living has the right to refuse any listings it deems as unsuitable and has the final decision on whether a listing qualifies for free placement. Submit all listings to office@seniorlivingmag.com before the 15th of the month prior to publication. SEPTEMBER 2008
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SENIOR LIVING VANCOUVER & LOWER MAINLAND
In Memoriam
JULY 2008 VANCOUVER ISLAND
Housing Guide for Seniors
The staff at Senior Living magazine Up-to-date listings of senior housing facilities would like to offer our throughout Vancouver Island, including deepest condolences to Independent/Supportive Living, Assisted the family and friends Living and Complex Care. of Betty Ho, who lost This guide is an indispensable resource to: her battle against lung • seniors looking for alternative housing cancer on August 10, • seniors moving to Vancouver Island from other parts of 2008. BC or out of province Betty recently • children of seniors who are assisting their parent to select a housing option contributed to a book • professionals who work with seniors or their families called Eating • businesses that provide services to seniors. Stories: A ChiListings include addresses and contact information, housing costs, nese Canadian number of units in the housing complex, hospitality services, & Aboriginal optional home care services, amenities and security features. Potluck of View Online at: which she was www.seniorlivingmag.com very proud. (Look for HOUSING GUIDE> To view a copy...) Betty began writing for SeOR have a copy mailed direct to your home... nior Living Mainland edition Please mail a cheque for $5.25 ($5 plus GST), along with your name, with its debut issue in Nophone number and address, to Senior Living, 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave., vember 2006. We will miss Victoria BC V8T 2C1. We will mail you a copy of this resourceful housher unwavering dedication GMS_Halfpage_FiftyFivePlus_Directory_2008:GMS_55Plus_Directory_2008 23/08/2008 2:36 ing guide upon receipt of payment. and enthusiasm for writing.
PM
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Photo: Jason van der Valk
advise them to seek help in the advertisement section of local senior magazines and the daily newspaper. The cost is usually reasonable. This problem can be BY GOLDIE CARLOW, M.ED solved in a helpful manner without creating bad Dear Goldie: feelings. Seniors do not This may not seem like a very impor- always realize they are taking advantage tant problem in the scheme of things, of someone’s kindness, perhaps because but I assure you it is very meaningful their worlds have become smaller. If to me. your husband explains that he is nearby I have been happily married for 45 for real emergencies but needs time for years with two children and five grand- retirement plans, I feel sure there will be children. Recently, we moved into an few hurt feelings. apartment after years of caring for a Meanwhile, you both need to make large home and garden. Needless to say, definite plans for happy years ahead. we are looking forward to more vacations and time together. Dear Goldie: My problem is that now my husband I enjoy reading your column but nevis at home, every widow in our apart- er thought I would be asking for your ment block sees him as a convenient help. handyman. This is not the way I thought About 12 years ago, I retired as a our retirement would be. What would manager of a local bookstore. So far, you advise me to do? –Z.A. I have remained active as a senior volunteer. I visit lonely seniors, help in a Dear Z.A.: community soup kitchen and tutor reWell, it does look like your antici- tired people returning to school. I never pated retirement took an unexpected married and only have a brother left as a detour. family member. You and your husband need to look My problem concerns a recent proat this matter seriously. While it is won- posal of marriage. I have known this derful to help people in need, you can’t gentleman for several years, and we allow these ladies to take advantage of have always enjoyed a close friendship. you. There is likely an element of loneli- The problem is that I only care for him ness in their requests. It will not be easy, as a dear friend and have no interest in but he must be firm in declining to help marriage at this age. with any minor tasks. When assistance What do you think? –Y.B. with heavier work is requested, he can
ASK
Goldie
Dear Y.B.: I think you are a sensible person and have had a good life so far. Your letter sounds like you can acknowledge your own feelings. Sometimes people do marry when one or both have no feelings of romantic love. In rare cases, they fall in love later. However, I could never advise anyone to enter marriage with this assumption. Any marriage can face serious problems, and often it is love that holds it together. The relationship you have at present has many advantages. You obviously enjoy each other’s company but retain your independence, which can be an advantage when problems arise. You can share hobbies, theatre, dining out, travel, etc., but still find time for interests on your own. Any future obligations to each other will always be by choice. Only you can decide if marriage or single life is best for you. Think it over SL carefully. Senior Peer Counselling Centres (Lower Mainland) New Westminster 604-519-1064 North Vancouver 604-987-8138 Burnaby 604-291-2258 Richmond 604-279-7034 Vancouver West End 604-669-7339 Coquitlam – Tri-Cities 604-945-4480
Goldie Carlow is a retired registered nurse, clinical counsellor and senior peer counselling trainer. Send letters to Senior Living, Box 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave., Victoria, BC V8T 2C1.
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Crossword PUZZLE Across 1. Heathen 6. Distinctive spirit 11. Very skilled person 14. Overjoy 15. Bantu language 16. Cleaning implement 17. Remove toxins 18. Like peat 19. Male given name 20. Emblematic staff (Brit) 22. Deep fried meat dish 24. Slender missile 26. Rust 30. Corruptly influenced 34. Weeding implement 35. Thing that opens 36. Walk in water 37. Yellowish brown color 39. Of recent origin 40. Russian revolutionary leader
MindMind GAMES GAMES 41. Gemstone 42. Covered with scabs 44. Acquire 45. Gesture of indifference 46. Mistaken 48. Flirtatious girl 49. Feed bag 54. Played first stroke 59. Part of verb to be 60. Bath sponge 62. You will 63. Condensed moisture 64. Person used as one’s excuse 65. Result 66. Idiot 67. Formerly part of French West Africa 68. Outmoded
Down 1. Brand of sock for women (TM) 2. Smart ----
3. Movable barrier 4. On the top 5. In the next house 6. Feel 7. Definite article 8. Rime 9. Holes in a sponge 10. Articulates 11. Ammunition 12. Moderately cold 13. Fencing sword 21. Coarse file 23. N Vermont ski resort 25. Carries record player cartridge 26. Confusion 27. Zing 28. Rod used to reinforce concrete 29. Part of Papua New Guinea 31. Latin-American dance 32. Farewell 33. Temporary dwellings 38. Evade 40. Sharp-sighted 43. Part of skeleton 47. Non-Polynesian 49. Nothing 50. Minerals 51. Stitches 52. Reveal indiscreetly 53. Enter 55. Spanish lady 56. Expel 57. Duct for smoke 58. Ran away 61. Law enforcement agency ANSWERS
SEPTEMBER 2008
31
Reflections THEN & NOW
BY GIPP FORSTER
W
hy do men differ so from women when it comes to shopping? If I need electrical tape, I go to the store and buy some. No big deal. There and back. But, let’s say a woman needs a new mop. She just may take two to three hours to get it. And come home not only with a new mop, but also with a roast, a bag of apples, a tube of toothpaste, a new pair of fluffy slippers and two lottery tickets. Now, I know these are necessities or she wouldn’t have purchased them (the lottery tickets and slippers I find suspect). But that’s beside the point. She went to get a mop. Plain and simple. How did she get distracted so quickly? I’ve heard it so often: “It wasn’t just a mop I was going for; it was numerous things. A mop was just one of them.” “Aha! But that’s not what you said. You said you were going for a mop.” Women, I believe are compulsive. They have radar eyes. They can pick up signals from four aisles over and two counters down in any store. They zero in and, before you know it, a magazine with Oprah Winfrey in it, or a pair of shoes with needle-like heels or a bottle of nail polish is in their basket or shopping bag. They don’t seem to be able to help themselves! Men, on the other hand, should we, say, need a new pair of socks, we go buy a new pair of socks. The colour choice is easy – white or black. We may need a new sweat top (I like to sound athletic) or sweat pants, which happen to be lying next to the socks, but we are not dis32
tracted by that. We came for socks and we’ll leave with socks. Sweat pants and tops are another journey. My wife and I often shop together at Costco. I don’t need anything. I’m just brought along to push the cart. I follow her, but I have to be careful. She’s always getting lost. I stop to look and she just keeps on walking. And then bingo! She’s lost. She tells me she doesn’t have eyes in the back of her head. Well, I know that! We’ve been married for 18 years, for crying out loud!
If I need electrical tape, I go to the store and buy some. No big deal. There and back. Even if I let her push the cart and wander along behind her, she still gets lost. I don’t know what I’m going to do with her. If I go to Costco alone, I’m in and out in five minutes. If my wife and I go together when it first opens at 10 a.m., I know I’m going to have lunch there. But, I’m not alone. Many other husbands are in the same boat. We all congregate at the lunch counter. The $1.99 hot dogs are great! And the price includes a Coke. The husbands don’t really know each other, but we recognize fellow victims with sad smiles, eat our hot dogs and drink our Cokes together as our wives pick up a “few” things. If it wasn’t for the hot dogs, I doubt we would even be there. Christmas shopping is another “together” time. “Oh, look! This would be
SENIOR LIVING VANCOUVER & LOWER MAINLAND
Photo: Krystle Wiseman
SHOPPING
perfect for Sharon and it’s only $49.95.” Only?! I say: “Who the heck is Sharon?” “Your sister!” my wife sighs. “Oh, yeah. That Sharon.” I answer. All in all, I believe men to be better shoppers than women. We go for the jugular immediately and, like a good commando, are in and out of the store before anyone can say, “Will there be anything else?” But women! They immediately become prisoners of war. And only paying the high ransom will get them released from “merchantville.” Should my wife go away on a trip or something, and I have to shop for myself, it’s a breeze. Scoot into Thrifty’s or Safeway, pick up a jar of pickles, a couple of cans of corn, four packages of Kraft Dinner, a few wieners, a litre of chocolate milk and four chocolate donuts – in and out in under 10 minutes. I don’t know why women make such a fuss when they go shopping. I guess they’re just not trained enough! Women are also a contradiction in terms. They say they’re going shopping, are gone for four, five or six hours, then come home with nothing. What does nothing have to do with shopping? Oh well, different strokes for different folks. (I think that’s how the saying goes!) I’m going to have to end this now, SL my Kraft Dinner is boiling over!
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