Baltimore Gay Life October 2015

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OCTOBER 2015 SpeakFire! Panel Launches 2015-2016 Series

GAYLIFE Read it. Live it.

Love it.





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Departments LOCAL LIFE

8 Program Spotlight: ASCA by Brittany Harrison 10 DOJ Investigators Hear from Community by Steve Charing



Theatre Spotlight: Everyman Theatre

19 19

by Justin B. Terry-Smith


The W.O.E. Report

by Wyatt O'Brian Evans

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GLBT Community Center of Baltimore and Central Maryland Serving the LGBT Community of Maryland for 35 years

1000 Cathedral St. • Baltimore, MD 21201 • 410.777.8145 •

Trans Programs

Women’s Programs



A support group for trans* men (FTM). 3rd Thursdays - 6:30pm


A support group for trans* women (MTF), but anyone who varies from traditional gender expression is welcome. 4th Saturdays - 8pm

Recovery ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS LGBTQ-centered AA recovery groups, welcoming to all. Thursdays - 8:00pm Saturdays - 6:30pm


Men’s Rap group for men in recovery. Sundays - 11:30am

Health & Wellness BEGINNERS’ YOGA

Gentle beginners’ yoga with instructor Tim Hurley, RYT. $9 Sundays - 3:30pm


FREE and confidential testing from the Baltimore City Health Dept. and University of Maryland. Wednesdays - 5-8pm


2nd & 4th Saturday - 6-7:30pm


Develop sense of self through stillness and meditation. 1st and 3rd Sundays – 2pm

Youth & Young Adult Programs

Great things are coming

SILhouette (Spiritually In-tuned Lesbians) is a spiritual community of women who love women desiring to discover, embrace and live as their spiritual-authentic self. 1st & 3rd Tuesdays - 7:30pm


A safe, confidential, and supportive space for LBTQ women of all colors. 2nd, 4th, & 5th Thursdays - 7:30pm

Men’s Programs


ello Gay Life readers! Autumn is upon us, and with the turn of seasons comes another issue of our fine magazine! This month begins our new "GLCCB Program Spotlight" column, which this month features the Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse (p. 8). Our feature this month is the unveiling of this year's series of SpeakFire Panels (p. 10). There’s plenty happening at our parent organization, the GLCCB, over the next few months. This fall will mark the return of the community-favorite Pride In the Arts program, featuring works from local artists displayed prominently throughout the community center space. We’ve got several


Peer-support group that is open to men of diverse race, background, sexual, and gender expression who consciously and compassionately challenge, mentor, and model the type of growth that honors and celebrates the full-spectrum of the mature male. Wednesdays - 6:30pm

Community Programs BOOK CLUB

A welcoming book club for LGBTQ individuals to discuss a selected reading. 3rd Monday - 7pm


Dan McEvily Editor

On the Cover


Community based self-help support group designed specifically for adult survivors of neglect, physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse.


Thursdays – 6:30pm

Dan McEvily, Editor


Social group for LGBTQ youth ages 18-25

Read it. Live it.

Saturdays – 4pm For more information on our programs, please contact Danny Carbo at

GAYLIFE Read it. Live it.

Love it.


The GLCCB is the publisher of Gay Life and the producer of Baltimore Pride


Have a safe October!

SpeakFire! panelists Monica Yorkman, Jabari Lyles, Michael Franklin, Kurt Ragan Jr. and Rev. Merrick Moise (Credit: Richelle Taylor)



new programs in the works in the next few months, including an LGBT-friendly American Sign Language Class and an expanded youth program. Be sure to check back in November.

Love it.

1000 Cathedral St. Baltimore, MD 21201 410.777.8145 Phone 410.777.8135 Fax

National Advertising Rep.

Rivendell Media, 212.242.6863


Danielle Ariano, Timoth David Copney, Courtney Bedell Eckler, Coach Mac Elè, Brittany Harrison, Wyatt O’Brian Evans, Rachel Roth, Justin B. Terry Smith, Angela Wren, Amanda Wooddell Wilhelm

Photographers John Kardys, Samatra Johnson, Asia Kenney, Kristi Metzger, Eric Randolph, Richelle Taylor, Jay W.

Gay Life is a publication of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender Community Center of Baltimore and Central Maryland (GLCCB). Gay Life is published monthly in Baltimore, Md., with distribution throughout the Mid-Atlantic region. Copyright 2015. All Rights Reserved. Gay Life is copyrighted and may not be reproduced without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Opinions expressed are those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect those of Gay Life or its publisher.


We Honor and Remember - Transgender Day of Remembrance, 2015 A transgender person is murdered somewhere in the world every 29 hours. While we know of many (too many) murders of transgender people in Maryland, we are also certain that we don't know about every trans* person who's life was cut short because of genderbased violence, medical neglect, bullying and harassment, or the many other ways in which we are taken from the people and communities who love us. The planning committee of this year’s Transgender day of Remembrance asks that you please help us to Honor and Remember our trans* sisters and brothers and gender-fluid others. If you know of someone in Maryland who identified as trans* and who lost their life due to violence, including suicide, please contribute their name and other information.

Preferred Name (How does the loved one wish to be remembered?)

Age at time of Death

There are three ways to send in your information: 1. Fill out this form, clip it out, and Mail it Attention to Jean-Michel Brevelle at Maryland DHMH, Unit #54, 500 N. Calvert Street, 5th Floor, Baltimore, MD 21202; or 2. Fill out this form, scan it to a PDF or JPG file (min 300 dpi) and email it to; or 3. Use the online version of this form found at tdorbaltimore/submit-names (address is case-sensitive. Type it in exactly as it appears). If you have an image file of the person, you can email it to with “TDOR Photo” in the Subject line and it will be included with the memorial notice. All names with complete information, and their photo if available, will be read at Transgender Day of Remembrance and listed online at the Baltimore Transgender Day of Remembrance website at






Place where death occurred: Day Date when death occurred:

Please attach details of the loved one’s life and death and submit with this form.


Please submit names on or before Friday, November 13 , to ensure inclusion. Thank you, and be sure to join us for Transgender Day of Remembrance in Baltimore on Friday, November 20, 2015. More information online at tdorbaltimore/







We have pride all year round Each person is unique and so is your health. That’s why we proudly support Baltimore Pride. Visit to learn more.

Kaiser Foundation Health Plan of the Mid-Atlantic States, Inc., 2101 East Jefferson St., Rockville, MD 20852 60352510_BaltPride_A_ad 7/24/15-9/7/15





GLCCB Program Spotlight: Adult Survivors of Child Abuse (ASCA) by BRITTANY


f you’re like me, you probably have a lot of friends you rarely if ever see in person. Ten thousand people follow you on Tumblr, but the phone never rings on a Friday night (unless it’s a Twitter alert). That’s not weird these days, right? Maybe you have no idea what I’m talking about, in which case: congratulations on all the sex you’re probably having. But growing up queer and a geek meant that social awkwardness caught me coming and going. Fortunately, I found my niche in online communities. For many people, the internet functions as a safe space where our sexual and gender identities are met with the acceptance that eludes us in the 3D world. Through the internet, I was able to form true and supportive friendships, some of which have lasted more than




a decade. Part of the reason that I know these people are really my friends is because every single one of them told me that I needed to spend a little less time online and a little more time building relationships within my community. Interacting with strangers in meatspace has always posed an uncomfortable challenge for me. You see, I’m a survivor of child abuse, so I trust the average person about as much as a stray cat trusts humans who don’t come bearing gifts of tuna. Eventually, however, it occurred to me: why not seek out other people with the same problem as me? I wish I could say that queer folks who had crappy experiences in childhood are a rare breed, but we’re not. Child abuse is nightmarishly common in the general population, and queer kids are addition-

ally vulnerable because our gender and sexual identities are so often a pretext for abuse. Online safe spaces can be life-saving, but we need them in the community just as badly. So last February, I partnered with the GLCCB to start Baltimore’s only permanent weekly support group for Adult Survivors of Child Abuse (ASCA for short.) We meet from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. every Thursday night at the GLCCB. Using materials published by the Morris Center in San Francisco, we work a 21 step program designed to walk child abuse survivors through coming to terms with abuse and living a full life in recovery. We’re a peer-led group. There are no therapists. No one is expected to talk about anything they don’t want to talk about. Most importantly, we don’t make judgments about what qualifies as abuse. Don't worry about

whether your experiences were “bad enough.” If you think you might benefit from our group, that’s good enough for us. If you have questions or want to know a little more about our meetings, visit our blog at, or drop us an email at If you decide to check us out, feel free to bring a friend or family member for support. Don't be nervous. I'm an introvert with an anxiety disorder! I'll be nervous enough for all of us. Adult Survivors of Child Abuse (ASCA) Every Thursday • 6:30 PM GLCCB 1000 Cathedral St., 3rd Floor



Everyman Theatre by


hen the curtain went up on An Inspector Calls at Everyman Theatre last month, it wasn’t just the opening of yet another production by this venerated company. It was the opening of their 25th season. Both are causes for celebration. The rest of the 2015-2016 offers more opportunities to see just what all the cheering is about. An Inspector Calls, J. B. Priestly’s searing indictment of upper-class hubris tells the story of a family so wrapped up in their own self-preservation that they’ve lost an important component of humanity, namely compassion. Catch it quick before it ends on October 11th. On October 21st, Fences, the sixth entry in August Wilson’s portrait of Black America, will take the stage. The story of a garbage man named Troy, whose life journey as a husband, a father, an inmate, a Negro League baseball player and a womanizer are told through Wilson’s beautiful use of language and emotion. This Pulitzer Prize award winning play will run through November 22nd. Then we’ll have the pleasure of seeing Outside Mullingar. From the pen of the author of Doubt and Moonstruck, John Patrick Shanley, this romantic and darkly humorous piece tells the story of Anthony and Rosemary. With a feud over land, some family rivalries and their own cluelessness to overcome, it’s a peek at the often bumpy road to love. You have November 9th to January 10th to meet these Irish folk. Michael Hollinger’s Under the Skin is the dark horse of the season. When a guy finds out his estranged daughter is the best match as a kidney donor for him, it opens the door to an exploration of what it means to truly



give of one’s self. The daughter’s resentment and the father’s need for redemption will likely make for great theatre. See it January 20th until February 21st. The season will wrap up with Everyman’s Resident Ensemble alternating between productions of two of the most iconic pieces of theatre to ever hit the stage. Death of a Salesman, another Pulitzer Prize winner, by the great Arthur Miller. A staple of American dramatic theatre, the sad saga of Willy Loman and his struggle with ambition versus reality is a perpetual crowd-pleaser. Salesman will share the spotlight with Tennessee William’s masterpiece, A Streetcar Named Desire. Set in a steamy New Orleans tenement, it’s about a faded Southern belle with a shady past, who, despite the nearly aristocratic background, finds herself “dependent upon the kindness of strangers.” Her desperate attempt to hold on to her youth, leading to her descent into madness is a heartbreaking must-see. From April 6th to June 12th, you can see one or the other, and if you go on the weekend you can see both! Everyman enjoys a well-earned reputation as one of the premier professional theatres on the Eastern seaboard. In their fabulous new digs on Fayette Street, the beautifully reimagined 1910 building itself sporting a history that ranges from Vaudeville to urban parking garage, Everyman Theatre has offered 25 seasons of outstanding entertainment. Vince Lancisi and his dedicated, talented team are one of the brightest lights on the Baltimore theatre scene. Shine on, Everyman!


4C AD DUE: 9/18 ISSUE DATE: 9/25 4.75”W X 11.25”H






e live in a time of uprisings, police brutality and daily violence. Of burning buildings, LGBTQ youth sleeping in abandoned homes, of arrests for walking while trans*. Yet we also live in a time of great love. of icons, ball scenes, linked arms, community members sweeping trashed streets, and fierce sisters marching down the sidewalk. This has been a year of wrenching heartbreak and trauma for anyone Black, queer, trans* and determined to just walk out onto the streets and breathe. James Baldwin argues that black folks have a great capacity for love because we still have the courage to be tender with one another despite our intense histories of brutality, enslavement and trauma. What does it mean to build roots as Black LGBTQ folks, to feel free enough to love each other as we are, tenderly, without restraint? I close my eyes and think of liberation-of the world we are

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building where all of us can stretch out as we are and trust that we are not only enough for ourselves, but each other. This meditation on freedom: Rising to Liberation in the Black LGBTQ Community is one that will be explored by SpeakFire! this year through several panels. SpeakFire! is a series of panels planned annually by a coalition of organizations dedicated to building brave spaces for Black LGBTQ community members and allies. We begin our Liberation Series with Dreaming Radical Resistance: Defining Black LGBTQ Liberation on Tuesday, October 6 at Hotel Indigo. All are welcome to join the conversation. Our coalition members have reflected below about the meaning and practice of liberation in their own lives.

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We live in a time of uprisings, police brutality and daily violence. These panels seek to explore and celebrate how the Black LGBTQ community in Baltimore defines and works towards freedom in our everyday lives. Dreaming Radical Resistance: Naming Our Own Gods: Defining Black LGBT Liberation Spirituality as a Means of Freedom

October 6, 2015

Janurary 14, 2016

Audre, Marsha & Barbara: The Erotic as Power: Black LGBTQ Women Mapping The Body, Pleasure & Freedom the Road to Freedom

March 10, 2016

June 9, 2016

For more information or to get involved, please contact: (5428) The Speak Fire Series is a brave space for Black LGBTQ folks and allies to reflect on our histories of great resistance and love. The Center for Black Equity-Baltimore, STAR TRACK Adolescent Health Program at University of Maryland, GLSEN Baltimore, Black Trans* Advocacy, Sistas of the “T”, and FreeState Legal Project have partnered together to host these panels with the understanding that all black lives matter.

FreeState Legal





expression. It’s about accessing individual and collective power to bring our voices to the forefront, to reclaim space, to speak our truths loudly and proudly, to be heard authentically. It’s about honoring ancestry. It’s about equity and justice. It’s about celebration of all that we are, and knowing that all that we are is enough." - Michael Franklin Sexual Minority Youth Coordinator STAR TRACK Adolescent Health Program University of Maryland, Baltimore

- Monica Yorkman Founder of Sistas of the “T ”

"To me liberation in the Black LGBTQ community means that we give ourselves permission to always demonstrate solidarity to one another even if we don’t understand or fully support the nuances of all our specific issues and causes. Liberation to me looks like giving ourselves the permission and confidence to reinsert ourselves in conversations and movements built around cisgender heteronormative Black People. True Black LGBTQ liberation is realized when it is understood that issues affecting Black LGBTQ people are Black Issues in general, and they deserve equal amounts of compassion and ferocity as our Black non LGBTQ family in the quest for restorative justice." - Bryanna A. Jenkins, B.S., M.A. The Baltimore Trans Alliance

"Liberation is turning the poison of our victimhood into medicine of our victory. Historically SGL, Queer, Bi, and Trans folks have always been resilient change agents. The very nature of our existence speaks to the Universal order of diversity wrapped in the quilt of cosmic harmony. I am so thankful that we, as a community, get to show how wonderfully dynamic, complex, and beautiful the human family is." - Reverend Merrick Moise Black Transmen Incorporated, Maryland/ D.C. Chapter

"Liberation is an inner knowingness that gender, identity, and self cannot be defined externally. While there is value to seeking reference in the looking-glass self, it in and of itself serves only as a reference point. That my realness can only truly be defined by my inner journey, thereby rendering stigmatizing language irrelevant and meaningless; dissimilar physical bodies cannot own my realness! When I am able to not only internalize, but own this realization as one given not from another human being, but one that comes from an Infinite Creator who creates infinitely, I am able to smash all illusions about the realness of who I am, and I am free to be my authentic self in all places and spaces. The greater liberation is when this freedom becomes a freedom that every person everywhere can enjoy."

"Liberation is a movement seeking equal rights and status for a group such as Baltimore Black Pride, which is a resilient group of individuals whose main purpose is to eradicate social inequality of Black LGBTQ persons within the community." - Carlton R. Smith Executive Director and Founder Center for Black Equity-Baltimore

"The definition of liberation from my own perspective declares that realistic positive changes to equality has commenced. I will no longer have to walk around with my head low feeling as though my existence as an openly gay African-American man has no value or credit.The word alone speaks for many generations having to continuously and strategically fight for equal rights and economic opportunities for our community. The HIV epidemic isn’t the only disease that is harming our community but the disease known as oppression which a needs an authentic conscious cure to stop the spread. " - Kurt Ragin Counseling, Testing and Referral Coordinator STAR TRACK Adolescent Health Program, University of Maryland, Baltimore For more information, or to get involved, please contact sagostini@freestatelegal. com/410.625.LGBT [5428]. BALTIMOREGAYLIFE.COM





Must be 21 years or older to gamble. Know When To Stop Before You Start. ® Please play responsibly, for help visit or call 1-800-GAMBLER. ©2015, Caesars License Company, LLC.




ALL ABOUT BALTIMORE. MORE APARTMENTS. MORE SERVICE. MORE CHARACTER. MORE PRIDE. Steadfastly committed to providing the ideal apartment living experience for ALL Baltimoreans. A diverse mix of 16 apartment communities in Baltimore City AND County — each with its own unique character and charm.




When the community works together, the community works A vibrant community depends on the participation of its members. The more diverse their backgrounds, experience and skills, the more unique their contributions to the community can be. Bank of America supports the GLCCB for celebrating individuality while supporting the common goals that bring progress to everyone. Visit us at Life’s better when we’re connected®

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So now that you have taken the least expensive transitional steps, will you start hormones and get electrolysis?

Next I will get three black dresses, two pairs of cute boots, and a mini-leather purse.






A Whole World by



f you’re one of my three or four regular readers of this column, you might notice that my bio has changed. The last line used to read, “She lives in Lutherville with her wife and three dogs,” but we had to say goodbye to our oldest dog, Wally, last month. Wally was a tall and lanky Golden Retriever, with a big snout and jowls that hung well below his bottom jaw. Every night after he ate, he’d come into the kitchen and shake his head. Slobber would fly in every direction. Bits of saliva would land on the cabinets, the couch and the table. After that, he’d flop on his side and rub his paws on his face. His signature move was to sidle up to the couch and “ask” if he could come up. He did this by panting heavily while standing in front of the spot where he liked to lay. If I told him no, he’d do a lap around the couch and come back and pant some more, at which point I’d inevitably give in and gently lift his back half to help him up. Towards the end, Wally had a hard time getting around. Sometimes he lost his balance and fell over. My wife Lindsay and I were constantly questioning. What was his quality of life? Was he happy? Were we being selfish keeping him around? One day I came home and Lindsay was on the front porch washing Wally. He’d had an accident and she was crying. When we got Wally inside, we sat next to him and stroked his head. I gazed at his white face; his soft brown eyes. He looked tired. I took a deep breath. “I think it might be time,” I said. Wally was 15. We were lucky to have him so long. Not only did he survive two bouts with cancer over the course of his life, he also made do with a set of severely arthritic hips since the age of eight. I’m grateful for the time we had, but my gratitude doesn’t make the loss any easier. Nor does the fact that I knew it was coming for a long time. In the first few days after Wally was gone, it felt like the world should stop, like there should’ve been some sort of pause, a moment of silence, but there wasn’t. Tomorrow came and the next day and the

next. There were chores to be done, beds to be made, dinners to be cooked, laundry to be folded. The bills needed to be paid; the dogs needed to be walked. When I went to the grocery store, there were people in the aisles making price comparisons, just as there always had been. There were traffic jams; there was a guy who cuts me off on the way home. It was startling, the way that the world continued on, the way that I had to move through it as if it were any other day, but that is the how things work. Even when someone dies, you have to find a way to make the bed and cook the dinner and fold the laundry. You have to live your life, full of sadness and longing, you have to live. What else is there to do? Just the other day, I was sitting at the vet’s office with our seven-month old puppy, Sully. “Hello,” a woman nearby cooed to him and he pulled toward where she sat. We struck up a conversation. The woman mentioned losing her 16 year-old Golden Retriever. “You know,” she said, “I’ve had seven dogs over the course of my life and part of me wishes that they could live forever, but if they did, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to have so many of them and each one was so special.” I looked at Sully. I was already in love with him. I loved the way his forehead had a crease down the middle, loved the brown smudged rings around his eyes, I even loved the way that he jumped up on the couch and stole items from the sofa table—sunglasses, the remote control, books (he was particularly fond of Maya Angelou, having eaten a half page out of I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings). We wouldn’t have gotten Sully if Wally had had more life in him, but the truth of what she said both comforted and unnerved me. With time, the void Wally had left behind wouldn’t feel so enormous, but part of me didn’t want to miss him less. Healing can feel like a betrayal. Only one word has changed in my bio, but it’s a whole world contained in that word; a whole lifetime. Rest easy Wally. You are missed.

Danielle Ariano is a writer and cabinetmaker. Her work has been featured in North Dakota Quarterly and on Huffington Post and Baltimore Fishbowl. She lives in Lutherville, Md. with her wife and their two dogs. When she is not writing or building, you can usually find her at the beach surfing. Find out more at www. or follow her on Twitter @dariano19.


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O Join Us For A Complimentary

Estate Planning Seminar and Expo Thursday, October 8, 2015 6:00-7:30 p.m. PK Law Café 901 Dulaney Valley Road, Suite 400 This seminar is geared towards LGBT individuals and couples of all ages who are interested in learning more about Wills, Powers of Attorney, Healthcare Directives, Guardianship Designations for Children and Family Building. Speaker PK Law Attorney Cheryl Jones will discuss the unique issues surrounding estate planning, marriage and family building for LGBT individuals and couples. Individuals and couples attending the seminar will receive $100 off of their initial meeting fee with Ms. Jones.

Space is limited so please RSVP to Rhonda King at: or 410.938.8800 18


K, one more thing about Cait, then I’m done. Caitlin Jenner has passed “trans 101” with flying colors but even so, I’m afraid she only gets an A minus. When Cait first came out with her Vanity Fair spread followed by her reality show I wrote a column entitled “I forgive you, Caitlin.” I questioned whether she would be an asset to the trans community or a liability. My trans friends and I were interested to see how she would handle the worldwide attention she received. Would she use it to help foster understanding and acceptance or waste her celebrity focusing on the superficial trappings that go along with having become a new woman? As a celebrity she didn’t have the benefit of anonymity to attend support groups. Instead, she dove headlong into transition. She was the equivalent of a pubescent teen discovering her womanhood over just a few short months. She was in the “hyper-feminine” stage many adult trans women experience when they go full-time. My objection was that she seemed to be all about glamour and clothing as if being a woman - especially a trans woman - was primarily about beauty. I was anxious to see where she went from there. What she has done right is surround herself with smart accomplished trans women: writers, educators, artists, activists. On her reality show, “Call Me Cait” she is schooled in the ethos of giving back to the community that has made it easier for her to transition. Those of us who transitioned before transgender was “in vogue” helped pave the way for the transgender folk who came after. The reason changing gender roles is called transition is that it usually takes place over a year or two as one adjusts to a new gender role. Cait lived as a man for 63 years and it will naturally take time for her to lose that male conditioning. She also has to adjust to the intensified emotions that go along with estrogen therapy. Cait chose to condense her transition into a few short months partly because she had already waited 63 years to become her most authentic self. She went full-time introducing herself to the world in a rocking body, a surgically feminized face, and augmented breasts. She also employed hair, makeup, and fashion professionals to

make her beautiful. The transformation was successful. Not all women have a graceful, feminine gait and not many women talk in an ultra-feminine little girl voice like Jennifer Tilly - and, of course, neither should they. Women should walk and talk in whatever way they wish and in what ever way expresses their personality and appearance. If a woman wants to talk like a truck driver and walk like a lumberjack she ought to. But there is something to be said for congruity. If Cait is going to embrace traditional glamour and beauty, maybe she needs to work on that deep voice of hers and stop lumbering when she walks. Let me repeat that I believe every woman should choose for herself how she wishes to talk and walk. But, if she is going to wear Vera Wang gowns, heels, and glamorous makeup, she would pull it all together so much more nicely if she didn’t talk like Barry White sings and walk like a gunslinger. I don’t want to come off like some bitchy Hollywood reporter, but she needs to address these two issues to complete the package. She looks awesome but when she opens her mouth or crosses a room, she betrays the very thing she has waited 63 years for and worked so hard to become. Cait, you have come so far, just make that final adjustment and you’ll get an A plus! Courtney Bedell Eckler is the author of a Gay Life advice/insight column that covers all aspects of transgender life ranging from the practical aspects of transitioning, to employment, family, and social concerns. She hopes that, through the column, her insight, knowledge, and experience as a transgender woman will help others in their quest for wholeness. Have a question? Trying to solve a problem? Want some feedback? Let Courtney know about it by emailing



Feeling Disconnected? by COACH MAQ ELÉ


don’t know about you, but I have been feeling somewhat disconnected from myself lately. Between the full moons, mercury in retrograde, and temperature changes, it’s no wonder I have been feeling a little off center. To support myself in getting back in alignment with myself, I pulled out some old spiritual tools that always work for me, perhaps they will support you as well: Get Still: Have you been busy with obligations and traveling? How about choosing a weekend to stay in and lounge around in your PJ’s? Whenever we are running around a lot, especially with traveling, our root chakra (which supports us in being grounded) can get out of balance. Staying home and resting will support in your root chakra shifting back into balance, ultimately supporting you in getting back into alignment. Feed Your Spirit: My work as a Spiritual Life Coach requires for me to give to others. Because of this, it is absolutely necessary for me to allow others to give to me. For me this looks like going to a church or meditation service that is facilitated by a spiritual leader other than myself. What about you, where can you go to receive some spiritual nourishment? Connect with your body: I am a water sign, so being in water supports me in feeling peaceful and connected. I like to take baths with essential oils, this forces for me to slow down, to be present to my body and what my body needs. Depending on your sign, you too

may feel peace and connection by engaging in the element associated with your sign. For fire signs, I recommend sitting quietly or meditating in a sauna or steam room; for air signs I recommend spending time outside or even opening up all of the windows and doors in your home to allow in fresh air; and for earth signs I recommend spending time in nature sitting in a park or even taking a hike. The key to this is identifying the elements that add peace to your experience and bring you back to center. Time Management: I realized that a great contributor to my disconnection was feeling overwhelmed by all of the day to day commitments I have. I was not being as efficient with my time, as I needed to be. In analyzing my commitment, I realized I needed to say “no” to some things and delegate others. I had to accept that for some of the goals I wanted to achieve this year, there are things I have to sacrifice like watching TV or spending countless hours scrolling my timeline on Facebook. What about you, what do you need to give up for a little while? So my love, if you’ve been experiencing some low motivation perhaps it’s time to reconnect with yourself. For those of you, who are reluctant to put yourself first, remember the lesson that the airlines teach us with every flight “you must put your own oxygen mask on first, before assisting others in putting on theirs.” In other words, make sure your cup is full and then give to others from your overflow. BE-LOVED! ~Coach Maq Coach Maq Elè is a certified Spiritual Life and the facilitator for the GLCCB group SILhouette (Spiritually In-Tuned Lesbians). For more information about Coach Maq and SILhouette please visit To contact Coach Maq with your coaching questions email



Heros & Villians by JUSTIN B. TERRY-SMITH


t’s Halloween time and there are many costumes people like to wear. Many activists compare being HIV positive to having a superpower (perhaps being a vampire?), it’s always either something negative or positive. In my HIV activist opinion, I agree that I have a super power. My superpower is making people aware that HIV is still a major issue in the Lesbian, Gay Bisexual, Transgender, Queer (LGBTQ) community, as well as educating our LGBTQ youth and providing them with the resources they need to protect themselves and their loved ones. That’s my superpower: the power of prevention. Now I will say I’m personally not a Halloween person, I don’t really go out for Halloween or dress up, I usually do it only because my friends or family plead with me to partake. Many people compare people with HIV with villains (again, like vampires!) that have to bite people to spread their virus, turning their victims into vampires too. Comparing us to vampires is definitely wrong and narrow-minded (to say the least), but comparing the virus itself to a vampire to me isn’t that far off. Let’s not blame the people who are infected with the virus. When we place blame, we increase HIV-related stigma and fear to be open about our own HIV-status. Halloween is for putting on a mask and costumes and not covering up the reality that there are

people under those masks and costumes that hurt and bleed like you. Stigma is the costume I would never want to wear. Live in your truth every day. If I was going to “dress up,” I would be a superhero like I feel a lot of the other activists are. The evil villain we are fighting against is HIV/AIDS. I personally fight this villain every day of my life and will continue to fight it until one of us dies. This fight will not end in a truce either and I don’t plan on loosing this fight. Think about it this way: people that are fighting the same battle that I am everyday are fighting the same villain. With advancements in treatment, the odds may in our favor, but we need to be mentally positive, physically powerful spiritually free. With those superpowers, I know in my mind, body and soul that we shall overcome and prevail. Enough of that..…….trick or treat!

Justin B. Terry-Smith MPH is a noted HIV and gay civil rights activist and the creator of ‘Justin’s HIV Journal,” a popular blog in which he shares his trials and tribulations of living with HIV. A U.S. Air Force veteran, Justin resides in Laurel, Md. with his husband, Dr. Philip Terry-Smith and their son Lundyn. Presently Justin is working towards earning his Doctorate in Public Health. Visit his main Web site at www.justinbsmith. com. He welcomes your questions at Photo by Don Harris, Don Harris Photographics, LLC © 2011. All Rights Reserved.






Reclaiming the LGBTQ Taking the Fear Out of Heritage within the Souls a Personal Financial of Native Americans Planning Meeting by


’All my life, I was told that being gay was wrong, especially at the reservation’, said Brandon Stabler, now 32. “’It wasn’t always that direct, but I felt like nobody liked gay people’.” This is part of “Native American Yearns for Old Views of Gays, Lesbians,” written by Bobby Caina Calvan for The Journal Star, which originates from Lincoln, Nebraska. This enlightening article goes on to say that Stabler “remembers the taunts he heard as a boy growing up in Walthill, a village of about 200 homes in the middle of Indian Country on the Nebraska side of the Missouri River. Stabler, a member of the Omaha tribe, recalls feeling unwanted by a culture that never returned his embrace.” So, at 21, he fled loathsome the treatment he experienced. Packing up what belongings could fit into a green duffle bag, Stabler hitched a ride with a friend to South Beach, Florida. He ended up sleeping on the sand— with only $20 to his name. We’ll return to Stabler; but first: Did you know that there was once an era when Native communities not only accepted gays and lesbians, but revered them because they embodied two spirits: male and female? Well, I had no idea. So, let’s dig deeper. According to “The Way of The Two-Spirited People—Native American Concepts of Gender and Sexual Orientation” by Sandra Laframboise and Michael Anhorn, in some of the earliest discoveries of Native artifacts, researchers have identified that the two-spirited individual is indeed a native tradition. A


body of evidence suggests that Native people, prior to civilization, believed in the existence of cross-gender roles (male-female, femalemale)—what we now term the two-spirited person. “Our elders tell us of people who were gifted among all beings because they carried two spirits, that of male and female,” stated the writers. “It is told that women engaged in tribal warfare and married other women, as there were men who married other men. They were respected as fundamental components of our ancient culture and societies.” Laframboise and Anhorn shed light on the existence of the two-spirit male. “In everyday life the two-spirit male typically would wear women’s clothes and do women’s work. He might take a husband from among the men of the tribe, or have affairs with several, depending on the role of the gender of the two-spirit man in his tribe. This is very different from homosexuality as we know it today.” As the iconic character “Mr. Spock” of the equally iconic Star Trek quips, “Fascinating.” However, forced assimilation has nearly decimated this heritage. Myron Long Soldier, an elder of the Ogalala Lakota tribe stated to The Journal Star, “And the white man’s religion introduced the concept of sin in describing two-spirited people.” Now, back to Stabler, who is openly gay and is partnered with a non-Native. “’I love who I am. I am gay, and I am a Native American man. I am both, and I am very proud of that’. “

Wyatt O’Brian Evans is a journalist, radio host (“The Wyatt O’Brian Evans Show,”), instructor, advocate/motivational speaker, lifestyle expert and author of the latest novel, “Nothing Can Tear Us Apart—RAGE!” (Gay/ ethnic). You may visit Wyatt at his on line home, Follow him at The Wyatt O’Brian Evans Official Fan Club on Facebook, and on Twitter at @MisterWOE.





n keeping with the Halloween theme this month, let’s discuss something scary for many people, which is dipping their toes into personal financial planning. The first meeting with a Financial Planner should be a positive step in the right direction -- not something that invokes fear. To help minimize any distress that may come with making this jump, we have compiled the following tips to prepare you for your first meeting with a Financial Planner. Tip #1 – Organize Your Statements: In advance of the meeting, you should have all of your tax, bank, and investment statements organized. This will provide a clear picture of all your financial assets, holdings, and investments. Tip #2 – Work Out Any Potential Issues With Your Partner: In advance of the meeting, make sure that you are fully connected with your spouse or partner when it comes to your financial challenges and goals. Tip #3 – Learn from Past Mistakes: Did you incur major credit card debt when you were in college? Did you fall behind on your car payment at one time? Acknowledge all past mistakes upfront with a Financial Planner and then develop a new plan going forward.

Tip #4 – Talk to Your HR Department: Be sure to speak with your HR department about your retirement plan, as well as any matching contributions, if any. Also inquire about other benefits such as life insurance, health-care benefits, and Health Savings Accounts. Providing a complete picture of your overall benefits will help a Financial Planner to develop the right retirement plan for you. Tip #5 – Acknowledge Your Weaknesses: Do you overspend on entertainment, clothing, or perhaps that daily Starbucks latte? Acknowledge your weak spots upfront, which will help you in the long run. To paraphrase from a famous quote, when it comes to personal financial planning, the only thing to fear is fear itself. By being fully prepared for your first meeting with a Financial Planner, you are laying the foundation for long-term financial freedom, which is clearly not a scary thing.

Amanda Wooddell Wilhelm is a Manager with SC&H Financial Advisors, the Personal Financial Planning practice of SC&H Group, which is an audit, tax, and consulting firm based in Sparks, Md. To learn more about SC&H Group, visit Note: Securities offered through Triad Advisors, Inc. Member FINRA, SIPC. Investment Advisory Services offered through SC&H Financial Advisors, Inc. SC&H Financial Advisors, Inc. and Triad Advisors, Inc. are



Last Dance at Club Hippo' by









Sundays Baltimore Farmers’ Market & Bazaar Every Sunday 7am-Noon Jones Falls Expressway Holliday & Saratoga Sts. Dog Hikes with the Doctor First Sunday of the month 11am-Noon • $2 Baltimore Humane Society 1601 Nicodemus Rd. • Reisterstown Metropolitan Community Church Services Every Sunday 9am and 11am MCC Baltimore • 401 W. Monument St League of Women Bowlers Every Sunday 4:30pm AMF Marlow Heights Lanes 4717 St. Barnabas Rd. • Temple Hill Rise Up, Honoring Women’s Spirituality Fourth Sundays 12:45-2:15pm First Unitarian Church of Baltimore 1 W. Hamilton St. Westminster PFLAG Monthly Mtg. Third Sundays 7pm St. Paul’s United Church of Christ 17 Bond St. • Westminster Heterosexual Friendly Gay Brunch First Sunday Frederick’s on Fleet • 2112 Fleet St. ASGRA Monthly Trail Ride First Sundays 10:30am • $25-30 Piscataway Stables 10775 Piscataway Road • Clinton Charm City Volleyball: Competitive Play Every Sunday 10am-1pm • $7 Volleyball House 5635 Furnace Ave. • Elkridge Service of Worship First Sundays 10:30am First & Franklin • 210 West Madison St. Service of Worship Every Sunday 10am Brown Memorial Park Avenue Presbyterian Church • 1316 Park Ave.




Mondays Interfaith Fairness Coalition Mtg. Fourth Mondays 7:30pm Contact to confirm meeting location PFLAG Howard County Parent Forum Third Mondays 7:30pm Owen Brown Interfaith Center 7246 Cradlerock Way • Columbia Senior Pride: Discussion Group for Women 55+ Monday evenings Chase Brexton Health Services Call 410-837-2050, ext. 2428 for details

Tuesdays Howard County PFLAG Monthly Mtg. Second Tuesdays 7:30pm Owen Brown Interfaith Center 7246 Cradlerock Way • Columbia Karate-Dō (LGBT-friendly classes) Every Tuesday 5:30-7:30pm Johns Hopkins Homewood Campus Bob Remington — Meditation Group Every Tuesday 6:15-7:45pm First Unitarian Church of Baltimore 1 W. Hamilton St.

Teen Program at JCC Second Tuesdays 6pm Owings Mills JCC 3506 Gwynnbrook Ave. Trans Parents Forum, Baltimore Co. Third Tuesdays 7-9:30pm Towson Unitarian Universalist Church 1710 Dulaney Valley Rd.

Wednesdays Charm City Volleyball: Social Play Every Wednesday 6:30-9:30pm • $3-30 Mt Royal Recreational Center 137 McMechen St. Living Well with HIV Support Group Every Wednesday 10:30am Institute of Human Virology 725 W. Lombard St. Spiritual Development with Rev. Sam Offer Every Wednesday 7pm Unity Fellowship Church of Baltimore 4007 Old York Rd. GEM: Gender Empowerment MD Every other Wednesday 7pm Equality Maryland • 1201 S. Sharp St. Senior Pride: Discussion Group for Men 55+ Wednesday evenings. Chase Brexton Health Services Call 410-837-2050, ext. 2428 for details Support Group for Transgender Adults Third Wednesday 7:30pm Owen Brown Interfaith Center 7246 Cradlerock Way • Columbia hoctytransgroup@gmail.comf

PFLAG Baltimore Co. General Mtg. Fourth Tuesdays 7pm Towson Unitarian Universalist Church 1710 Dulaney Valley Rd.


Parents of Transgender Kids Fourth Tuesdays 7:30-9pm Owen Brown Interfaith Center 7246 Cradlerock Way • Columbia

HIV Support: Substance Abuse & HIV Every Thursdays 2-3pm Institute of Human Virology 725 W. Lombard St.

Rainbow Youth Alliance of Baltimore County 2nd & 4th Tuesdays 7-9pm Towson Unitarian Universalist Church 1710 Dulaney Valley Rd.

Karate-Dō (LGBT-friendly classes) Every Thursday 5:30-7:30pm Johns Hopkins Homewood Campus Bob Remington —

Rainbow Youth Alliance of Howard County 2nd & 4th Tuesdays 7:30pm Owen Brown Interfaith Center 7246 Cradlerock Way • Columbia 410.280.9047

Fridays HIV Support: Just Between US Every Friday 11am-Noon Institute of Human Virology 725 W. Lombard St.

Saturdays Baltimore Frontrunners Every Saturday 8:45am • Brunch 10am Panera Bread, 3600 Boston St. HOPE DC Monthly Brunch First Saturdays 11am Rosemary’s Thyme Bistro DC 1801 18th St. NW • Washington, D.C. In the Company of Women First Saturdays 10am-Noon First Unitarian Church of Baltimore 1 W Hamilton St.


Thursday, Oct. 1 LGBT History Month National Breast Cancer Awareness Month Hispanic Heritage Month "Detroit" The suburbs will never be the same. $20. 8pm. Thru 10/3 Fells Point Corner Theater • 251 S. Ann St. "Kinky Boots" Broadway’s huge-hearted, high-heeled hit. $47.50-146.00. 8pm. Thru 10/4 The Hippodrome, 12 N Eutaw St. Omega Thursdays Every Thursday. 9pm-2am Grand Central, 1001 N. Charles St.

Friday, Oct. 2 Fells Point Fun Fest Music, food, fun! FREE. 5-9pm. Thru 10/4 Broadway & Thames St. "Pride and Prejudice" Jane Austen’s mastery of manners and morals. $19-59 CENTERSTAGE, 700 N. Calvert St. Max Major's THINK AGAIN See the show Broadway World called "A Magicial Tour de Force" $25- 60. 8pm Theater Project, 45 W. Preston St.


Five Weeks of Sticky: Kick A** Karaoke Celebrate 5 years of Sticky Rice. $5 specials. 11pm-2am Sticky Rice, 1634 Aliceanna St. Friday Nights at the Aquarium Get in for half price! 5-9pm National Aquarium, 501 E. Pratt St. Wine Tasting FREE. 5-8pm. Fridays Spirits of Mt Vernon Wine Shop 900 N. Charles St. Chocolate Happy Hour Weekly chocolate-fest. 6:30pm Ma Petite Shoe, 832 W. 36th St. Levi & Leather Leather or Bear attire gets you a discount. 8pm. Fridays Grand Central - The Loft, 1001 N. Charles St.

Saturday, Oct. 3 Family Lantern Workshop Make a lantern for the Halloween Parade! $5-10 donation. Noon, 1, & 2pm. Patterson Park Public Charter School 27 N Lakewood Ave. INKED w/Rodney Henry & Black Lung. $9-15. 8pm Creative Alliance at The Patterson 3134 Eastern Ave. Saturday Morning Yoga Enjoy an hour of zen every Saturday. FREE. 10-11pm Center Plaza, 100 N. Charles St. Free Yoga in Patterson Park Bring your own mat! FREE. 8-9am. Weekly. Patterson Park elektroschock First Saturday of every month. $6 cover. 21+ 9pm Grand Central, 1001 N. Charles St.

Monday, Oct. 5 Men's Naked Yoga Every Monday. $18.6:30-7:30pm Vitruvian Gallery, LLC 734 7th St., SE, 2nd fl. Wash. D.C. Karaoke


Sing your heart out every Monday and Tuesday night. Grand Central Nightclub 1001/1003 N. Charles St.

Wednesday, Oct. 7 MEshelle LIVE Comedy Album Recording Funny As a Mother. $17-23. 7:30pm Creative Alliance at The Patterson, 3134 Eastern Ave.

Friday, Oct. 9 Tammy Turner's Glass Rainbows A one-woman show. $25-35. 8pm. Thru 10/11 Theater Project, 45 W. Preston St. REVIVAL A monthly hoedown. $6. 21+ 7pm Grand Central, 1001 N. Charles St.

Saturday, Oct. 10 Fort McHenry Field Day Give a day for the Bay! FREE. 10am-1pm Fort McHenry, 2400 E. Fort Ave. A2D4 LANTINI- ADULT Lantern Making Party Grab a Lantini and build a Parade Float! $75. 7pm Creative Alliance at The Patterson, 3134 Eastern Ave. Five Weeks of Sticky: 5th Anniversary Dance Party Celebrate 5 years of Sticky Rice. $5 specials. 11pm-2am Sticky Rice, 1634 Aliceanna St. SHE Productions Presents REHAB 2nd Saturday of Every Month. $5. 9pm. 21+ Grand Central Disco and Sapphos 1001 N. Charles St.

Monday, Oct. 12 Columbus Day

Thursday, Oct. 15 "Rocky Horror Picture Show" Two screenings: 8pm and 10:30pm. $7-12 Creative Alliance at The Patterson, 3134 Eastern Ave.

Friday, Oct. 16 "Mirror Woman" opens Challenge the media’s concept of beauty.

$81-191. 8pm. Thru 10/18 Hippodrome Theatre, 12 N. Eutaw St. "Something's Afoot" opens The outrageously funny musical thriller. $16-22. 8pm. Thru 11/15 Vagabond Players, 806 S. Broadway "Zombie Prom" opens Classic girl-meets-ghoul love story. $15-20. 8pm. Thru 11/8 Spotlighter's Theatre, 817 Saint Paul St.

Saturday, Oct. 24 "Things Your Man Won't Do" Shows at 3 & 8pm. $55-76 Hippordrome, 12 N. Eutaw St. Glowball w/ Joe Keyes and the Late Bloomer Band Baltimore’s nastiest funketeers. $9-15. 9:30pm Creative Alliance at the Patterson 3134 Eastern Ave.

Saturday, Oct. 17

Thursday, Oct. 29

Hot Sauce Feat. Rich Morel. $10. 9pm. Monthly Grand Central, 1001 N. Charles St.

"Monster Squad" Screen the Halloween cult classic. $7-12. 7:30pm Creative Alliance at The Patterson 3134 Eastern Ave.

Monday, Oct. 19 Giant Monster Monday Movies & drink specials. 8pm-Midnight The Wind Up Space, 12 W North Ave.

Happenstance Theater presents Cabaret Noir Cabaret Macabre. $12-22. 8pm. Thru 11/15 Theater Project, 45. W. Preston St.

Wednesday, Oct. 21

Friday, Oct. 30

Zydeco Dance Party Jeffery Broussard & The Creole Cowboys. $17-23. 8pm Creative Alliance at The Patterson, 3134 Eastern Ave.

"A Little Bit Not Normal" opens First in The Trans* Voices Workshop Series. 8pm. Thru 11/1 Church on the Square, 1025 S. Potomac St.

4-Play! 2 comedians + 2 sex experts talkin' sex. $12-18. 7:30pm Creative Alliance at The Patterson, 3134 Eastern Ave.

The Haunting of Poe: A Burlesque Masquerade Presented by Gilded Lily Burlesque and Deanna Danger Productions. $23-28. 8:30pm Creative Alliance at The Patterson 3134 Eastern Ave.

POZ DC Happy Hour Mixer For HIV+ men. 7pm Green Lantern 1335 Green Court NW, Washington, DC

Friday, Oct. 23 How To Get Away With a Kitty Scandal Intrigue, drama, politics and double-crossing dirty deeds! $10-15 8pm.Thru 10/24 Theater Project 45 W. Preston St. "Betrayal" opens Pinter's haunting and time-bending play about desire. $15. 8pm. Thru 11/8 Fells Point Corner Theater, 251 S. Ann St.

JOHN CLEESE AND ERIC IDLE: Together Again At Last...For the Very First Time; British icons perform unforgettable sit-down comedy. $80-121. 7:30pm. Thru 10/31 Hippodrome, 12 N. Eutaw St. Baltimore Bike Party The biggest party on two wheels! FREE. 7pm St. Mary's, Seton Hill

Saturday, Oct. 31 Halloween

Burl-eoke! Burlesque & Karaoke collide. $10. 8pm. The Brass Monkey Saloon 1601 Eastern Ave.



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