NOVEMBER 2011 • BACKROADS
Page 10
Morton’s BMW Motorcycles Presents Dr. Seymour O’Life’s M Y STER IOUS AMER ICA the world’S lArgeSt gnoMe revenge of the hAppy folk
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You see these little guys everywhere. From coast to coast and throughout Europe – freakin’ gnomes. But, what do we really know of the gnome? Now gnomes have been around for thousands of years, but have only become popular in literature and folklore over the last few hundred. The word comes from Renaissance Latin gnomus, which first appears in the works of 16th Century Swiss alchemist Paracelsus. Since then they have popped up in the writing of L. Frank Baum, J.K. Rowling and J. R. R. Tolkien to name just a few. They have been characterized as sometimes malevolent, sometimes peaceful. Personally, I have always believed these little bastards were up to gnome-good – so does our pal Mr. Notso Happy. In fact, few know of the untold war between the Happy Folk and the Gnomes. It started thousands of years ago and, of course, it was over a woman. One of the Chief Gnomes took a shining to one of the Happy girls and kidnapped her. The Happy folks did not take this pilfering of their women lightly and the resulting war lasted 100 years and even today Mr. Happy and his friends get a little nervous and testy around gnomes – except for the Mets gnome that live at Backroads Central – he’s okay. These days most gnomes are little guys that like to hang around lawns, trees and flower beds. Although they still cannot be trusted they are not nearly as powerful as they think they once were – much like Congressional Democrats. So it was a little surprising when we found out about the Largest Gnome in the World – just up in Kerhonkson, New York – right on Route 209 at the Kelder Farm and Notso wanted to go there in the worst way. What was this about we all wondered? This gnome has a name, it’s Chomsky. Chomsky was born in 2004 in New York City. Artists Maria Reidelbach and Ken Brown created him while they renovated a miniature golf course on Pier 25. When that course closed, Chomsky moved north to the Hudson Valley, where Reidelbach built Homegrown Mini-Golf in 2006. That year,
Chomsky received official Guinness World Record certification. Now rumor has it that there are two other larger gnomes, one in Poland and the other in Iowa State University – but, c’mon Iowa? Those people actually say Riverside, Iowa is the “future” birthplace of Captain James T. Kirk – so the people from the Hawkeye state are well known fibbers. Chomsky is the biggest – end of story. So with visions of giant gnomes plaguing Mr. Happy’s brain we took our ‘little yella fella’ up to Kerhonkson to see if we could find Chomsky and maybe make some peace between Happy and this giant. The world’s Largest Gnome is impossible to miss as you head north on Route 209. He is right on a small bluff overlooking the roadway – you can see him coming for a mile! We pulled over to the side of the road and let Hap have a look. With a little help from Shira Notso, who had been searched for weapons and explosives (we gave Happy back his C4 when we returned to Backroads Central), made his way up and after trying to kick the giant gnome in the crotch – which is hard for a puppet with no real legs – he decided to be nice and it seems now that all is forgiven – kinda, sorta… not really. But hey, no reason for you guys to get involved in this rift. Next time you are riding around the town of Kerhonkson, New York on Route 209, and you glance up and see a giant gnome glancing back at you pull into Kedlar’s Farm – maybe play a little miniature golf or take in the Kedlar’s impressive Farm Market. The Farm Market, in the summer and fall offers top quality, homegrown produce that is as fresh from the field as you can get. Asparagus, sweet corn, tomatoes, sugar snap peas, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and melons in the summer- pumpkins, gourds, squash, Indian corn, and corn stalks welcome the fall. Worth the stop all by itself.