Beauty Awards: Top Curated Skin, Hair, Face and Body Care Picks
sarah Rafferty the best choices for your family
Our beloved Donna Paulsen ‘suits’ up for motherhood
Home Sweet Hollywood
Garcelle Beauvais Shirly Brener Jiffy Wild Brad Wollack Melissa Francis
www.bc-mag.com ANNIVERSARY 2013
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autumn reeser
The expectant mom and TV star prepares for her second boy with Jesse Warren, in between dog walks and baking with Finn
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INSIDE BC contents 16 mixed emotions Actress turned author Garcelle Beauvais talks about her recently-launched “I AM� book series 32 funny fathers Chelsea Lately and After Lately stars Brad Wollack and Jiffy Wild get comedic on the topic of fatherhood 44 autumn in california Autumn Reeser welcomes us into her gorgeous home and awesome family life with husband, Jesse, and son, Finn
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24 14 On the Cover: sarah rafferty with her daughters, oona and iris
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56 sarah smile Suits star Sarah Rafferty talks about love at first sight, and raising her darling daughters Oona and Iris with husband Santtu
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32 28 64 beauty awards We recognize the most brilliant products that keep our skin, hair, and body in tip top shape, whether it’s old favorites or strong newcomers 78 melissa francis The former child star opens up about being raised by a “Tiger Mom” and the negative effects of the pressure put upon her at an early age
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On the Cover: AUTUMN REESER WITH HUSBAND JESSE WARREN AND SON, FINN
toddlin’ we’re
With their new 2014 fashion shoe styles, Squeakers is rebranding as Little Green Trike Shoe Company to make room for new lines for older kids called Sproutin’ Up as well as new fashion kids shoe lines.
School Squeaks are kids’ shoes in college-themed colors that combine team color combinations with matching bows. “Stompers is our new line of boots we developed a few years ago,” said Little Green Trike CEO Andi Jensen. “We designed a few styles and our customers wanted to see more.”
Today, LGT squeaking toddler shoes are available in hundreds of stores throughout the United States as well as overseas.
LGT’s new styles for 2014 also include a dozen new girls’ sandals in new bright colors, and new sandals for boys, in addition to their classic kids‘ shoe styles. “We like what the Little Green Trike brand represents,” says Ms. Jensen. “Our kids and parents’ fondest memories.” LITTLE GREEN TRIKE SHOE COMPANY littlegreentrike.com
Toddlers’ shoes with squeaking heels can help kids learn to walk properly heel-to-toe.
editor’s note
My failed Skype chat with cover mom, Sarah Rafferty; Autumn Reeser clowning around with finn; my only son, Mathis, during his cowboy/farm-themed party wearing his diesel Kid overalls
Days of Our Lives We celebrated the 1st birthday of my only son last August 16th with a farm/cowboy theme (this coincides with the restaurant we’ve put up a few months ago in Manila called, “The Farm”). It was an afternoon among family and friends, which is exactly how I like it. I feel time’s wings on full speed with my boy. He is now walking and talking like he means it—although sometimes I think his term for “get me out of here” is “Mama,” I’m still happy to be his first word. His giggles (and tantrums) come in force; toys and electronic devices are thrown like the budding sports star I’m convinced he will become someday (that, or a rockstar—but truthfully, as long as he gets out of the couch in his 20s, I’m a success). My weekdays start with my son’s eyes fully open at the crack of dawn, his face breaking into a big grin once he sees me up, signaling me that a new day has commenced. All six of us (including our Golden retriever) co-sleep in our master’s bedroom (two queen mattresses form into one huge bed). Mathis and I get up early together to go to his room and change his nighttime diaper into a fresh one, as I don’t like calling my nanny in too early. This is our bonding time anyway. I am thankful that because I live mostly in Asia now, we are able to afford more hands to help out with the three chickadees. I force the husband to join me in the other room, which he does with his feet dragged behind him. My two girls wake up to shower and have breakfast, then off we go for the drop off, Mathis in tow. Work all day (each time trying hard not to close the curtains and just block out the stress), then school pick-ups are done. Dinner together, baths, kids off to dreamland, catch up on missed magazine work or go back to the resto for closing, and then worry about checkbook and old age. Like clockwork, my body gives in at around 9 PM every night. Heaven help me should a friend schedule something past it. Stifling yawns in front of restaurant customers and magazine co-editors is an effort, but even more so: exercise. A year ago, my belly was bursting with weight from my youngest. Not much has changed with
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regards to my girth, but now it is filled mostly with an alternate of glazed and chocolate crosanuts that my husband so lovingly creates for the resto. This is what it means to be a mom in your late 30s—metabolism turns its back on you, but I wouldn’t trade it all for the world. On to BC, this issue is one of our most packed when it comes to features on celebrity parents. It’s interesting seeing a glimpse of their domestic life, since their on-air personas are usually different from their familial. We prepared a special two-cover issue featuring Sarah Rafferty and Autumn Reeser, who are both stunning moms enjoying thriving television careers. We also have headturning model-actress turned author, Garcelle Beauvais, whom I distinctly remember from one of her earlier films with Eddie Murphy as a rose bearer in Coming to America. Today’s Franklin & Bash and Flight co-star wrote an impactful children’s book on siblings with mixed raced ethnicities, which is an impactful read for all ages. It was also a treat featuring Brad Wollack and Jiffy Wild, comedic dads on Chelsea Lately and stars of After Lately with their equally cute boys. We also catch up with my dear friend Shirly Brener and her brood. Shirly now stars in one of Israel’s biggest reality TV shows, and I couldn’t be prouder. Finally, we do a lookback on Melissa Francis, one of the stars of Little House on the Prairie, and find out about her first-hand experience with her own ‘tiger’ mother. It is inspiring seeing these familiar faces on the screen juggle parenthood and their jobs and come out on top, especially in the extremely competitive entertainment industry. Their words, ethics, and hardwork help shame me to get out of bed, and eager to face another day challenge that being a mom always offers. As mentioned earlier, I would never change a single thing.
editor@bcmedia.ph facebook.com/karizfavisofficial twitter.com/karizfavis
editor’s picks
super trump Last June, The Trump Hotel Collection launched the Trump Wellness triad of programs (Nourish, Quick Bites, and Travel Fit) that aims to address the challenges that can interrupt your healthy lifestyle while you’re away from home on a vacation or business trip. Trump heiress, Ivanka Trump, states, “There is so much to think about when traveling with children, so it’s great to know that there are healthy (and delicious) meal options readily available for them. Organic, balanced menu offerings for me to choose from for Arabella make it easy for us to continue to feed her in the manner that I do at home while on the road.”
Banana & blueberry protein smoothie under the Quick Bites program
Drawstring re-threader by RE-STRING IT, $14.99
Probably one of the most useful inventions for the whole family, Re-string It is the answer to reusing our old sweat pants, sportswear, kids clothing, and almost any type of garment that uses drawstrings. This universal rethreader is heavy duty and versatile, but won’t damage our clothes. re-stringit.com
My New squeakers
Children will enjoy the Healthy Kids Menu, and partake in a great selection of items made with certified organic ingredients that are sourced locally and delivered fresh daily. Formerly known as Squeakers, Little Green Trike provides our little angels with endearing and timeless shoes that are made from the finest quality materials, all handcrafted, making it soft and supple, but not flimsy. The flexible rubber sole is made especially for your growing baby and toddler’s foot, and velcro closures are used for easy adjustment and fastening. Joe Red Boys Boot by LITTLE GREEN TRIKE, $43.90, littlegreentrike.com
bundle up
JJ Cole CollectioNS’ Original BundleMe is a classic cold weather accessory for our ‘bundle’ of joy. We are blessed with CA and FL weather for the most part, but when we visit our NY office in the winter, this is a definite neverleave-home-without. With a delightfully warm, plush inner faux shearling and luxurious soft outer thermaplush, the top is also removable for easier temperature control. You can use it with car seats, strollers, and joggers, and it even allows safety straps to rest directly on your child. Pop it in the wash for easy cleaning, and never have to worry about the nippy air when out and about with your darling. Original BundleMe in graphite by JJ COLE COLLECTIONS, $39.95 for infant, $49.95 for toddler jjcolecollections.com
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back to cool Charlize in chocolate by UMI, $65, umishoes.com
There is a reason Umi is a cult celebrity favorite footwear—everyone from SJP, Jennifer Garner, Marcia Cross, Kimora Lee Simmons, Anne Heche, Tori Spelling, Kelly Ripa, and other Tinseltown heavyweights, all have their kids in Umis. Their “little love for little feet” goes a long way. Umi’s ethos is, “Every shoe we make uses child-safe materials, like non-toxic drum-dyed leathers and other environmentally friendly materials, and goes through a series of strict quality and safety tests. Always protected in recycled packaging, Umi’s a brand that believes going green isn’t just a trend, it’s our responsibility.” A statement like such shows us parents that here’s a brand that cares, and that should never go unacknowledged especially when it comes to purchasing for the most valued people in your life. If style is your major consideration for footwear, then you’ve chosen well, since Umi has successfully bridged timeless designs with of-the-moment trends. It’s hard not to gush when we talk about a brand we’ve had an almost-decade long love affair with here at BC, because we’ve never been disappointed with their offerings season after season, and doubt that we ever will be.
fall fashion picks
It’s easy to fall in love with the whimsical and romantic collections from Biscotti, a brand that has been capturing parents and children’s hearts alike since 1986. Backed by a nostalgic and modern appeal that pleases both our little ones up to our tweens and teens, Biscotti provides ensembles for all occasions—formal wear and casual looks created with gorgeous fabrics with eye-catching details.
Made only of the finest Peruvian Pima cotton, Kissy Kissy is the brainchild of Tatiana and Company, which began in 1995 as a small baby boutique in New Jersey.
biscottiandkatemack.com
Firefighter playsuit with collar by KISSY KISSY, $20.50, facebook.com/kissykissybaby
DYSON HOT+COOL
There are several things we absolutely love about the Dyson Hot+Cool—the fact that it’s blade-free, heating element-free, and safe for household with kids, the kill-two-birdswith-one-stone function that lets us cool down during the summer and keep warm during the cooler months, and the fact that it’s easy to control and clean. Because it doesn’t have those protective grills, you can easily wipe off any dust, while the magnetized remote control won’t ever be lost inside the house, as you can place it on top of the unit while not in use.
Punkrox in yellow by FOHAWX, $19.99, fohawx.com
Do your kids want a skater/ punk cool ‘do, but you’re not having it on their hair? Fohawx, a line of stylish, water-resistant foam accessories fasten to any sports helmet. Let them look cool without sacrificing safety.
head candy Great value for your money and uber cuteness is what you get with Luvali Conertibles’ winter hats that can be reversed to show different designs, from frogs to bears, monsters to pirates and parrots, and monkeys to tigers. Adorable and functional, win-win. Reversible Frear Winter Hat by LUVALI CONVERTIBLES, $ 27.99, luvaliconvertibles.com
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BC MAGAZINE
BCMEDIA INC.
Kariz Favis Editor-in-Chief
Kariz Favis Chairman & President
Martin Favis Creative Director
Martin Favis Vice President & Publisher
Valerie Anne del Castillo Senior Editor & Assistant to the Publisher
Mark Cabalang Production Manager & Senior Graphics Artist
Aiya Mai Rodjel Editorial Assistant
Ahlee Del Rosario Graphics Artist
Job Ambrosio Director
Dennis Castillo Online Director
Charina Mitra Finance Manager
Maricel Bancolita Account Manager
Contributors Dr. Mariam Azin, Rusell Baer, Dr. Jean Greaves, Adam Hendershott, Brandon Hickman, Andrew McLeod, Abraham Joseph Pal, Todd Patkin, Emily Sims, Garen Tolkin, Jovan Townsend
BC (Baby Couture) is published by Medina Favis Publishing LLC, P.O. Box 1227 Fort Pierce, FL 34954. Reproduction, in whole or in part, without the written permission of the publisher is strictly prohibited. For advertising, subscriptions, back orders or other inquiries, please call 1.877.386.0209 or e-mail info@bc-mag.com. Visit us at bc-mag.com, facebook.com/bcmagUS, or twitter.com/ bcmagUS. Opinions expressed in this publication are that of the writers’ and are not necessarily endorsed by Medina Favis Publishing LLC. BC is not responsible for unsolicited samples, products, work and materials, and submissions are non-returnable. If you wish to submit written work, photographs, artwork, products, samples, other services, etc., please accompany with a self-addressed envelope, postage paid, or a prepaid return label.
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shopping bag
UMI Selecting only the best patterns plus the highest quality leathers and environment-friendly materials, Umi shoes are designed to be a step above everyone else. Their wide array of shoes for babies, boys and girls are super stylish and comfortable which is why Umi shoes are a favorite among celebrity moms. umishoes.com
in’
eaking toddler ble in hundreds hout the United overseas.
s for 2014 also new girls’ sandals lors, and new , in addition to ‘ shoe styles.
e Little Green esents,” says Ms. ds and parents’ es.”
KE SHOE COMPANY littlegreentrike.com
LA PICCOLA DANZA Whether for everyday glamour or for special occasions, La Piccola Danza offers European-inspired, fashion-forward apparel for little girls. From lace to embellished and ruffles to pleats, they have it all. Their clothes are playful yet refined, ultra-feminine yet luxurious, perfect for the budding little fashionista in the family. lapiccoladanza.com
JJ Cole COLLECTIONS Offering products ranging from diaper bags to pods and from BundleMe to carriers, JJ Cole Collections makes parenting simpler with its products that are designed to fit the busy lifestyle of parents. Mixing style, function and comfort, JJ Cole Collections products are guaranteed to be safe and of the finest quality. Your precious one deserves nothing less. jjcolecollections.com
Toddlers’ shoes with squeaking heels can help kids learn to walk properly heel-to-toe.
Little Green Trike Formerly known as “Squeakers,” Little Green Trike may have changed their name, but the topnotch quality of their footwear remains. The brand takes pride in representing kids’ and parents’ fondest memories with over 50 styles that range from cool, fun, funky, to classic in array of closed-toe, everyday, casual, sandals, and dress shoes to choose from. And if the little one isn’t fond of (or feels too “old” for) a squeaker, it is easily removable by an adult with a strong fingernail or butter knife. And if anyone with the attention span of say, a toddler, changes their minds, the squeakers can be re-inserted and pushed tightly back into place for normal “squeaking.” Totes cute, in the words of my 6-year old. littlegreentrike.com
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n a recent interview marking the anniversary of a school shooting that killed two students and wounded 13 in Santana High School in Santee, California, the then-15 year old gunman shares the warning signs he displayed before his tragic meltdown, which was reportedly triggered by excessive bullying by his classmates and peers.
Wo r d s b y D r . M ariam A zi n PH O T O GRAPHs BY A hl e e D e l R osario
prevent violence in schools by identifying troubled students
An educational psychologist offers tips to help schools (and parents) help their children
+ Stroller Spotlight...baby and toddler gear...Helping Overstressed Kids...
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child psychology “My dad noticed my grades slipping…I would come home with bruises and lie to him,” says Charles “Andy” Williams, now 27, in the Oprah Winfrey Network interview. “I didn’t know how to communicate that somethin’ really, really bad was goin’ on. I didn’t know how to talk about it.”
emotionally disturbed, they turn to killing strangers.
Take Andy’s story, says educational research specialist Dr. Mariam Azin, and multiply it by hundreds of thousands of students across the country, and the world. Among them are the next Adam Lanza, James Holmes, or Andy Williams—people who have become so
“It’s the quiet kids who slip through the cracks and don’t get the help they need,” says the founder and CEO of Mazin Education, a social psychologist who has spent decades conducting research in educational settings and on at-risk students.
One high school for which she gathered data found that 750 of its 2,500 students reported having a substance abuse issue. But, in the year she studied, only 10 students were referred for substance abuse intervention, and just five of them connected with a program. Three completed it. “The loud and disruptive kids who are having problems get the attention they need; the quiet ones don’t,” Mazin says. “If we can identify them—and we can!—and intervene, we can help prevent future violence and suicides.”
effective steps IN identifying troubled students Make it everybody’s job.
From the lunch lady to the custodian to the bus driver to the teacher, many adults notice small signs, like Andy Williams’ declining grades and his bruises. If everyone reported the small signs they saw, the cumulative effect could be one big indicator of a problem. “The cafeteria worker may notice he’s not eating,” Azin says. “The custodian may see him being bullied. One sign here or there gets overlooked, but if everyone knows that, if they see something that concerns them, they document it, then we’ll be able to connect those dots and make sure more kids get the help they need.” School leadership should make it everyone’s job to report. Provide a safe way to report.
Some people say nothing because they’re afraid they’ll be expected to make a decision about what the behavior means or they’ll have to do something about it. Some fear reporting will make them legally accountable. “Everyone involved with students needs to understand they are expected only to report what they see—changes in behavior, incidents that may cause emotional distress,” Azin says. “A single isolated incident will not necessarily result in action being
taken.” Schools also need to embed an infrastructure through which concerns can be documented securely as soon as an incident takes place. Identify community services that can help.
Schools may be reluctant to identify troubled students because they don’t have the resources to provide them with help. “Identify and develop relationships with programs and resources in the community to which students can also be referred,” Azin says. “While schools are the place where many troubled students can be identified, it does not necessarily follow that it is solely the school’s responsibility to provide all of the necessary services to those students and their families. It takes a village to help provide services to at-risk youth and their families and to help prevent school violence. But if we can’t document and clearly identify the need, it’s impossible to get these resources in place. Embed a system for followup and monitoring.
Once students who are showing signs of academic, behavioral, or emotional risk are identified and referred to appropriate services, a system for follow-up and monitoring needs to be embedded to ensure that they actual-
ly connect with appropriate mental and physical health services, academic intervention or other family services. Ideally, subsequent monitoring of progress will occur to see if the identified services and interventions are appropriate and producing the intended effects and to make necessary adjustments. “Oftentimes, the way it is now is that schools will make a referral but then it just goes into a black hole—nobody knows what happens afterwards,” says Azin. After a tragedy, Azin says, those who knew the perpetrator recall the signs they witnessed: not speaking to classmates, drug use, bullying. “People see the signs,” she says. “Shouldn’t we create a way for them to document that information and get these kids help before something terrible happens?” bc
About the Author Dr. Mariam Azin is president and CEO of Mazin Education, an educational company focused on software solutions that help schools to better assess, identify and serve at-risk students. She holds a doctorate in applied social psychology and has more than 20 years’ experience in educational research and evaluation. She has been the principal investigator on numerous large-scale evaluation efforts related to students, currently serving as joint principal investigator on three federal Safe Schools/Healthy Students evaluations.
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1 “Rufus” Medium Red Monkey by MONKEEZ AND FRIENDS, $29.99, monkeezandfriends.com 2 Ritzy Wrap Infant Car Seat Handle Cushion in fresh bloom by ITZY RITZY, $16.99, itzyritzystore.com 3 Single Hand Hold On Handle set in panda by GREATER THAN ONE KIDS, $24.99, greaterthanonekids.com 4 Booster cushion for kids by LUV CHICKEN, $45, luv-chicken. com 5 Go Anywhere booster seat with backrest and padded base by POLAR GEAR BABY, $39.99, aparentcompany.com
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baby and toddler gear Check out our neat finds for both home and mobile use, whether for feeding your child or going out with your baby
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MOBILITY
If you want to make do with the furniture in your house and don’t want to invest in a high chair, check out Luv Chicken’s whimsical and functional booster cushions that come in various heights for your little one. You can also invest in a portable booster seat that that from Polar Bear’s, which features a five-point restraint harness and adjustable straps to secure it to a chair. It’s highly portable, as it conveniently folds into a compact bag.
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e v e r y d a y Hne E AcDI e sNsGi tOi U eT s 1 Dash Vacuum insulated straw drink bottle by ZOLI, $25, zolibaby.com 2 100% medical grade hygienic
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silicone teether by COMOTOMO, $6.99, amazon. com 3 Dine Vacuum insulated food jar by ZOLI, $26, zolibaby.com 4 Waterproof adjustable bib with food catching tray by PIYOPIYO, $8.50, piyopiyousa.com
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Travel Happens Sealed Wet Bag in Dino-Mite! by ITZY RITZY, $17.95, itzyritzystore. com 6 Freezable Spoon by KOOLSPOON, $5.99, koolspoon. com 7 Natural Feel Baby Bottle Single Pack by COMOTOMO, $15.99, amazon.com 8 4 stage training cup set by PIYOPIYO, $23.95, piyopiyousa.com
meal time
Feeding your child has just gotten easier with some of our curated options for you and your family. BPA-free items such as training bottles and cups are always number one on our list, while insulated food containers preserve what’s fresh and keeps it good for a longer time. Reusable wet bags are versatile, as you can store used bottles, soiled clothing and bibs, and all other messes that can occur during feeding time, especially when you’re outside your home.
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Haiti-born Garcelle Beauvais seems to have a lot on her plate, and is coming out on top despite all of it. The model, film and TV star, jewelry designer, mom of three, and co-star of the TNT legal drama “Franklin & Bash” and film “Flight” (starring Denzel Washington due this fall) actress also adds “children’s author” to her resume. The 46-year old stunner recently launched her I am book series, with I am Mixed released this summer in major bookstores and online retailers. Garcelle also allots time and effort to support the Step Up Women’s Network, empowering women to be strong and to fulfill their full potential, and she is also active with the March of Dimes. We get the chance to find out more on the moving sequel of her book, I am Living in Two Homes, and how she’s single-handedly raising her three boys
ixed Emotions
P h o t o g r a p h s b y A n dr e w M c L e od
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“I really wanted to empower my boys with the confidence to be proud of their diversity, and to celebrate what makes them special.�
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bc-mag.com Tell us a little bit about your childhood. What was it like transitioning from being an actress to a mother, and now to an author?
I came to the U.S. from Haiti at the age of 7 and learned to speak English by watching Sesame Street. Becoming an actress was somewhat easy, since I had modeled with Ford Models for years. Becoming a mommy was a dream. I’m the youngest of 7, so I always had nieces and nephews to watch, and I was playing “mommy” with them. Becoming an author was a surprise—I was the kind of person who didn’t like writing thank you notes, and now, I’ve written a book. (Smiles) How did you start researching on children’s issues? What were the most important parts of your research and how did this translate to the information
found in your book?
This came in an organic way. I was looking for a book that my kids could see themselves in. And in my search, I felt like there wasn’t much out there, so I came up with the idea of creating something myself. I really wanted to empower my boys with the confidence to be proud of their diversity, and to celebrate what makes them special. In your book I am Mixed, you tackle mixed identity issues. How did the idea for the book (and subsequently, the series), come about? The next book in the series, I am Living in Two Homes, deals with divorce. As a daughter of divorced parents, and as a divorced mother yourself, how important was it for you to talk about this topic and spread light on this issue through a children’s book?
Tackling the divorce issue is important to me on so many levels. After my parents were divorced, I didn’t see my dad until I was in my teens, which was not a good choice. My kids are now a product of a divorce. In writing our second book, I really want children to feel that having two homes doesn’t have to be a negative experience, or that they have to feel pulled between their parents. If there’s love in each home, it will result in happy kids. Putting the kids first is the best way to co-parent. What was it like developing, creating, and writing a book that addresses very relevant topics in today’s diversified world?
It was challenging because I wanted it to be from a kid’s point of view, in a playful and loving way. So it wasn’t
1 Garcelle Beauvais with Jamie Foxx at the White House Down premiere 2 Garcelle and her sons, Jax and Jaid at the 2013 Baby Buggy Bedtime Bash hosted by Jessica and Jerry Seinfeld 3 Garcelle with her three kids, Oliver, Jax, and Jaid 4 I AM MIXED by Garcelle
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“I want them to know the value of working for something, as opposed to just giving it to them.”
g a r c e l l e b eau va i s
scary or dark, and I believe we achieved that. The book is a fun read with lively characters in Jay and Nia. What are the common problems that children of mixed cultures often encounter in school, at the playground, or in society in general?
I think kids can be cruel to one another, but oftentimes, kids ask questions out of curiosity. Like, why is your mom brown and daddy white? What is your advice for parents who have “mixed” children?
Have conversations with them. Help them understand that being mixed is a part of what makes them special and to be proud of that! Tell us more about your children, Oliver, Jax, and Jaid. How do they all get along, with Oliver being 17 years their senior?
bc-mag.com
Oliver is an upcoming rapper. He’s always had a love of music. I am happy to see how much the boys love each other. Of course, Oliver has his own life, but when he’s with the boys, they are all over him. They play games, talk sports, and it’s fun. That’s when I’m the happiest—when we are all together. How does your parenting style differ from raising Oliver 21 years ago?
I’m a little more patient. I try not to give my kids toys every time they ask. We talk about money in terms of saving, spending, and what things cost. I want them to know the value of working for something, as opposed to just giving it to them. I never did that with Oliver. Best part about being a mother?
I love the smiles I get when they see me. I love the hugs. Being my boys’ mom means everything to me! bc
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the childhood pressure cooker Are you pushing your kids so hard they’re in danger of cracking under the pressure? Take a serious look at the demands you’re placing on them and help overstressed, overscheduled, and overwhelmed kids create happier, healthier, more balanced lives
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ny parent with a child out of elementary school knows that we live in an achievement-obsessed, ultra-competitive education culture. From government-mandated standardized test scores to “tiger parents,” to college admissions requirements, our kids are facing immense pressure to perform.
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LI T T L E A CHI E V E RS For many students, every minute of the day is devoted to school, studying, homework, and other “necessary” activities ranging from sports to service work—to the exclusion of free time and fun. There’s a great deal of fear from parents that their kids just won’t be able to compete…and kids themselves are at risk of being overwhelmed by what’s expected of them. According to Todd Patkin, this high-stakes, highpressure achievement culture might not be as beneficial to our kids as we think. We may not only be pushing our children to excel—in many cases, we’re pushing them over the edge, too. “Of course, we want our children to lead fulfilled, successful lives, but subjecting them to relentless academic and extracurricular pressure is not the way,” says Patkin, author of the new book, Finding Happiness: One Man’s Quest to Beat Depression and Anxiety and—Finally—Let the Sunshine In. “A lot of parents must know it’s not right that their kids are so overstressed, but they have gotten just as caught up in it as their kids.” Patkin speaks from experience—as a child and teenager, he was obsessed with achievement at school and suffered from regular bouts of anxiety that stemmed from his desire for perfection. As an adult, Patkin’s unhealthy focus on doing and being the best caused him to suffer a breakdown at the age of 36. Since then, he has re-evaluated his priorities as well as what truly makes people happy and unhappy. “As the parent of a teenage son, I have seen firsthand just how oppressive our current system can
be when the emphasis is on outcomes instead of on true education,” Patkin points out. “So many teens today are under the immense pressure I once felt—pressure to succeed, pressure to get the best grades, pressure to be accepted to a ‘good’ college, and more. Too many of them are burning out and making self-destructive decisions, and it’s our responsibility as parents and citizens to start to force a cultural change in America.” It’s true: across the U.S., there’s an epidemic of teens and even pre-teens suffering from anxiety and depression, cutting themselves, and using prescription medications just to get through their day-to-day lives. Also, kids are drinking to excess and doing drugs on the weekends in order to escape this incredible pressure, even if only for one night. Most worrying, suicide is the third-leading cause of death among teens. Sixty percent say they’ve thought about it, and 9% of high schoolers admit they’ve attempted it at least once. “Those realities are absolutely unacceptable,” Patkin insists. “If we truly have our children’s well-being at heart, we need to face the fact that forcing them into a mold of perfection isn’t working. If we really want our kids to grow up to be capable, creative, and inspired problem solvers, we need to focus less on their scores and grades and more on their happiness. It’s not going to be the experts who lead the way on this one—it will be ordinary people changing what we are doing in our homes.” If the reality of disengaged kids heading for burnout sounds worryingly familiar to you, this is the school year to start doing things differently.
Todd Patkin grew up in Needham, Massachusetts. After graduating from Tufts University, he joined the family business and spent the next 18 years helping to grow it to new heights. After it was purchased by Advance Auto Parts in 2005, he was free to focus on his main passions: philanthropy and giving back to the community, spending time with family and friends, and helping more people learn how to be happy.
Fourteen tips to help you get started:
Realize you are doing damage.
It goes without saying that parents don’t set out to harm their children when they push them to succeed. But the truth is that parents’ high expectations put the most pressure of all on their children. A student who feels a few minutes’ chagrin at a teacher’s disappointment might beat himself up for days if mom and dad aren’t satisfied with his performance. “We should all ask ourselves the following questions when our sons or daughters come home with four great grades and one that’s not so good (for example, four As and one B): Do
we focus on how great the As are? Or is our first response, ‘What happened? Why did you get the B in this course?’” Patkin instructs. “It’s important to realize that by celebrating the As, you’re still letting your child know that top marks are the goal—but you’re doing it in a much healthier and celebratory way than by being immediately disappointed over the one grade that was lacking. Teens might act like they couldn’t care less about their parents, but the truth is that they do want to please us. In fact, some kids are experiencing symptoms ranging from stomach aches to severe depression due to the day-to-day stress they encounter at school and at home.” bc-mag.com { ANNIVERSARY 2013 } b c
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Accept that not all kids are the same.
Resist the natural tendency to compare your own children to each other, to their classmates, and to your friends’ children. “The most important thing you can do to help your children is to love them for who they are,” Patkin shares. “Never forget that kids develop at different rates, and that they also have different talents and abilities. No two children are ever going to be alike, and that’s a good thing! Our world needs variety and uniqueness. And trust me—your kids will be happy adults only if they, too, learn to love and be okay with themselves as they are and for who they are. If he is not so good at school and prefers the arts, you’d better love him for that just as well.”
overbalanced by stress…and he’ll probably learn and achieve more.” Get help if it is needed.
You had your “bad” subjects in school, and chances are, your child will too. If she is really giving this subject or class her all but is still too far below the mark, search for ways to get academic help. Even with a parent’s support, what a child perceives as a failure can have a big impact on her self-esteem. “If your child needs academic help, a tutor is certainly a good idea if you can find one who is affordable and qualified,” Patkin suggests. “Getting your child the help she needs can make a world of difference in her performance and boost her confidence.” Teach kids to be easier on themselves.
Be willing to let some things go.
All parents struggle with striking a balance between holding their kids accountable and letting them get away with too much. “Come to terms with the fact that your teen may never quite get up on time or make his bed before school,” Patkin advises. “And realize that neither of those things is likely to ruin his life. Instead of getting caught up in making sure that every box is checked all of the time, try to keep the big picture in mind. So instead of fixating on little things that weren’t completed perfectly, focus on your children’s successes!” Seek balance and happiness.
Seeking balance and happiness for your child goes hand in hand with letting the little things go. “Determine what your child’s personal best looks like,” Patkin instructs. “If your child is putting in a reasonable amount of effort at school, accept that B if it’s the best he can do in a particular class. Don’t push for more. It’s funny—if you focus on your teen’s overall happiness rather than on his report card, he’ll feel that his life is not
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In any given grade school or high school, chances are that a majority of students tend to focus much more of their time brooding over the test they bombed than celebrating the one they aced. And as a result of magnifying what they perceive as failures, these young people reinforce in their minds just how “subpar” they think they are. “Try to direct your child’s attention to all of the things he does well instead of allowing him to fixate on his few slipups and shortcomings,” instructs Patkin. “The best way to teach this is to model such behavior. I think that everyone— not just young people—can benefit from showing ourselves more compassion and love. The bottom line is, we’re all human—and thus, fallible. So instead of demanding perfection from ourselves in every situation, we need to learn to cut ourselves a lot more slack.” Discourage overscheduling.
It’s not unusual for young people to crack under the pressure of what can be sixteen (or more)-hour days, and parents often don’t recognize the strain until their children become physically
affected. “Outside of what’s required of them in school, encourage your kids to focus on activities that bring them the most joy,” says Patkin. “In the long run, developing their skills in a few things they’re good at—and maybe even passionate about—will help them much more than trying to do a little of everything and burning out on all of it. If you see your teen starting to become overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to say no to the next time commitment request he or she makes.” Discuss perceived stress vs. what is real.
Stress and anxiety are insidious: once they take root in your mind, they tend to grow and spread. It’s all too easy for every waking moment to be consumed by fretting about what might happen or go wrong in the future. That’s why it’s very important to talk with your teen about what is stressing him out and to help him determine which worries are productive and which aren’t. “Explain to your child that yes, it can be productive to worry a little bit about his upcoming biology test because that worry will prompt him to study and prepare,” Patkin suggests. “However, point out that it’s not productive—and actually unhealthy—to worry that he might get too many Bs and Cs, which might prevent him from getting into the college he wants, which might prevent him from pursuing a successful career. It’s helpful to talk about what reasonable expectations look like for each week, grading period, and year. And be sure to share your own experiences to help your child put his situation into perspective.” Help kids live in the present.
If your child spends most of her time
LI T T L E A CHI E V E RS thinking about what she could have done better in the past or stressing about what might go wrong in the future, she’ll miss out on actually living her life. To cut back on stress, help your teen to focus her attention on all of the good things in her life right now. “If your child is in the ninth grade, for example, help her focus on the special events only ninth graders experience, like the first high school homecoming football game,” Patkin shares. “And living in the present goes for you, too. Don’t be so focused on the future that you forget to enjoy the time you have with your child right now. Remember, kids are smart— even from early childhood, they can tell when you’re not really ‘with’ them mentally as well as physically, and that’s how they’ll learn to behave too.”
courage him to get up twenty minutes early to practice violin or review for a test before school,” Patkin advises. “Likewise, if he’s a night owl, let him sleep as late as possible in the morning. Remember that the standard breakfastschool-everything-else schedule may or may not work best for your son, and within reason, allow and encourage him to do what’s most efficient.”
thing your child, you, or anyone else can do to become less stressed and happier right now,” Patkin promises. “Exercise is a fantastic energizer, and it actually opens you up to future change by invigorating your mind and body. You’ll all benefit from the quality time together as well as from getting your blood pumping.” Encourage kids to spend time with
Help kids work toward the big
positive people.
Focus on the importance of
things.
organization.
Help your kids learn to approach major milestones with a plan and a realistic perspective that won’t give them ulcers. “It’s a good idea to sit down with your child at least a few times a year to talk about major changes and goals that are coming down the pike and how best to approach them,” Patkin asserts. “Until you broach the subject, you might not be aware of how worried your teen is about something. And this is a great opportunity to teach her how to break a big project down into manageable chunks that won’t be overwhelming but will still give her a sense of accomplishment when she completes them.”
Your teen’s friends might be good kids, but if they’re constantly worrying about grades, tests, and what they need to improve on, their conversation topics probably aren’t adding to your child’s quality of life; instead, she’s probably picking up these unhealthy attitudes herself.
Teach your children to keep an updated calendar, to make thorough to-do lists, and to keep their school papers in order—even if they don’t think they need to. Being organized will make them more efficient and will cut out quite a bit of needless worry. “Help your children with school and home to-do lists,” Patkin suggests. “Also, establish a weekly time to clean out sports bags and backpacks. Consider designating a homework area, complete with storage folders for each child and class. Being organized sets you up for success not just in school but throughout your life.”
Promote exercise.
As a parent, you might not be able to significantly decrease your child’s workload, but you can help him to work as efficiently as possible.
It will help him feel more relaxed and stronger, it will improve his sleep, and it’s also a great natural anti-depressant. If physical activity isn’t a big part of your teen’s life, encourage him to find a way to be active that he enjoys.
“If your child is a morning person, en-
“Exercise is the single most important
Teach kids to take advantage of the most efficient times of their day.
“You must realize that we all tend to be the average of the five people we spend the most time with when it comes to our attitudes and outlooks,” Patkin shares. “So gently encourage your child to spend time with peers, as well as teachers and other mentors, who are positive influences. This is also something you can model yourself. Stop having gripefests at the kitchen table with your own friends if you want your child to spend more time around happy people!” “Always remember that the ability to cultivate happiness and balance is one of the best possible ways to set your child up for success,” Patkin concludes. “Yes, performance and doing one’s best are important—but not at the price of your child’s well-being.” bc
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An exclusive on the now family of four, as the Israeli actress, producer, and now reality TV star talks about raising two daughters with her husband, the esteemed artist and writer, Bruce Rubenstein
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P h o t o g r a p h s BY A braham J os e ph P al S t u d i o S t i l l s f r om “ C o n n e ct e d ”
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bc-mag.com You gave birth in 2012 to Journey Elle. What’s it like having two daughters now?
I love having two girls. I used to want a boy, but today, I’m not sure what I would do with one. It’s totally fun dressing them up with cute dresses, shoes, and hairbands, as well as enjoying girly time of giggles, fashion, and art. It’s also great to have more progesterone in our household—then we can gang up on Bruce (laughs)—just kidding. When all three of us cuddle together, I see two tiny replicas of myself. I feel total “girl power” and a bond and love that is hard to describe unless you’ve felt it by experience. My dad gave me the love of sports, even rough outdoorsy stuff, so snow skiing, water skiing, tennis, and martial arts totally complement all the ballet, tap, and voice extra currics. Having two kids is definitely more of a challenge. We got so accustomed to life with a singleton, and Mila’s schedule and our whole
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family’s itineraries, that adding another tiny baby that needs attention and care 24/7 was somewhat jarring to begin with. But we’ve found our groove, and our house is always vivacious, vocal, and colorful. How is Mila taking to her little sister?
Mila is just an amazing human being. Everyday I’m in awe of her “give.” She has that nature that women—like both of my grandmothers—possess. Pure. Selfless. Giving. Caring. Always putting others before them. She is so protective of her little sister. She worries more than Bruce and I! She schools us everyday since the day JuJu was born that we don’t feed her right, that we don’t position her right, that she can swallow this and that, that she can fall here and there, that this and that is dangerous. It’s really funny, but also super endearing. It’s like, “Is she your baby or mine?” I see a very tight bond
between them that I never knew existed. I am a single child to my parents, so I wasn’t so familiar with growing up with siblings. Juju is the same with Mila, the first thing Juju does in the morning is look for Mila and jumps on her head if she is sleeping. She likes to snuggle in Mila’s arms in her bed. It’s so funny to see Mila’s little body carry this pretty large baby. Bruce and I never thought that Mila would be like this. We always knew she is a special girl, but her nurturing and caretaking has been remarkable. Very often she will watch the baby for an hour or two while I’m filming on the show, or when Bruce is working. She is another set of hands and never complains about helping us. The funniest moments is when she shoves me out of the way and lays out 10 different outfits for Juju to wear, like dressing a doll. She always picks the most elaborate dresses even when we have to wear
Shirly: Dress by GYPSY05, gypsy05.com . Gold shoes by MICHAEL KORS, michaelkors.com . Jewelry by ONE OF A KIND, shoponeofakindjewelry.com . Diamonds by ORKA MESICA, orkamesica.com Mila: Dress by GYPSY05, gypsy05.com . Shoes by LUCKY TOP, shopstyle.com Bruce: Shirt by GYPSY05, gypsy05.com . Pants by ZARA, zara.com . Shoes by M BROTHER, shoebuy.com . Hat by H&M, hm.com . Glasses by BADGLEY MISCHKA, badgleymischka.com Journey: Dress by KRICKETS, kricketsworld.com
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Bruce and I never thought that Mila would be like this. We always knew she is a special girl, but her nurturing and caretaking has been remarkable. something super comfy to go shopping at the supermarket—matching shoes included. How are Mila and Journey alike and different? Which child takes after you?
Mila is a fairy. She spreads fairy dust on every person that comes in contact with her. After they encounter her, they become somewhat uplifted, enlightened, and calm. She has this ethereal quality: gentle, caring, selfless, introspective, and deep. Journey is a firecracker. She is really hyper and giggly, silly, playful, extroverted, and has very strong opinions, wants, and needs. They are very yin and yang but in a way, a perfect match. They are similar in that they are both really good girls. With Mila, I always feel like I have to protect her, so that the world won’t tarnish her and that nobody takes advantage of her kindness. With Journey, I feel like if somebody came to hurt her, she would punch them smack in the face! Literally and figuratively, ha! They also both love to dance. Tiny dancers. From the moment they were 7-8 months, they started shaking their stuff. Now, Mila is a seasoned dancer—hiphop being her favorite, and Juju is following suit. Bruce and I are very creative—we have an edgy sense of humor and strong personalities. I think they both share our artistic and creative sense, our big hearts, and positivity. Journey is probably strong-willed, like us. Mila is well...we just all agree...she is just from another universe.
it day by day. Depending on our individual schedules, we work out who drives Mila to school, takes her to all her extra currics that day. It’s always a rollercoaster ride challenge trying to work everybody’s schedules and remaining sane while still finding time to eat, sleep, work out, and find niches to cuddle, love, cook and just spend time as a family. We also have my mom here, so she helps from time to time, and our beloved nanny that has been with us for years, and is practically part of the family. Tell us more about your new hit show. Who do you play and what is it all about?
Our show is a docu-drama and is called “Connected” and it’s the #1 Cable Show in Israel for HOT Network (which is like the Israeli HBO). We joined the 5th season, which will be called this time, “Connected Plus” as the cast is male and female and the spouses are very involved. It was created by Ram Landis and Doron Zabari, and has sold internationally to over 22 countries. The premise is 5 known individuals in their field document their lives using production cameras and light equipment for almost a
How do you and Bruce split parenting duties?
Set shots from the show
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Bruce is the definition of the “modern man, modern dad.” He is always hands-on in both girls’ lives. He never shies away from lending a helping hand, spending time with them. We have each other’s backs. We both have multiple careers—myself as an actress, producer, manager of Mila’s career, and now a reality TV star—and Bruce as a producer, writer, manager, designer, and artist. Between the whole family being on the show, and all that has happened in all of our careers in the past couple of years, on all other fronts, we are up to our eyeballs. No day is similar to the one before it. We basically make a weekly plan and then take
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s h i r ly b r ene r year—without a crew, on set director, nor producer. Then, the stories are juxtaposed and cut into 35 episodes (a huge order in the world of television). It has been one of the most challenging endeavors of my adult life. In this show, we function not only as on camera talent, but also as so many of the technical and production aspects like scheduling, line producing, directing while on set, actually shooting—holding and operating the cameras, and many other aspects. It has taken over our lives and has been one of the most interesting, forward thinking, and creative things I’ve done. There is a voyeuristic aspect to it, but unlike super hyper produced shows like the Kardashians or the Housewives, [it] is super raw and edgy. We reveal things people would never know about us. It has been liberating and of course, a bit scary that as of September 1st, I will have millions of people following my inner and outer
life, family and friends, work, and personal. I’ve had to work alongside Bruce and it has added to a special bond that we’ve always shared. It’s made a comradeship in getting it done and digging deeper, challenging ourselves, pushing our personal and work relationship to new limits. Even Mila, who is a big part of the show, learned how to operate a camera and work within the format. Even Juju is now aware of the camera always being there. The episodes go viral, and in that sense, my life will be on display for the whole world very soon. Much of the format is done in personal monologues to the camera and in that sense, you reveal your inner thoughts, loves, hates, inhibitions, aspirations, and psyche. Biggest achievements to date?
I think my biggest achievement in life is my family—my marriage and my daughters. I’ve worked really hard
to reach what I have, and preserve it and nourish it. As far as career—every year, I find new opportunities that push me into new zones and limits. I don’t really play them one against another and say this one was better than the other, as they each had their special merit and to each of them I gave it my all. I am grateful to be working in a creative field and in many aspects of it—one that I am passionate about. I am especially proud of playing a complex bipolar schizophrenic abusive mother in “Touched,” which was based on a real story, and I love the layers and subtlety of the comedy of the character I created in the dark action comedy, “Hit List.” It was quite an accomplishment to work as a VP of Biz Development for one of the big film companies in town and I’ll never forget my screen time with two of the acting legends of all time simultaneously—Robert De Niro and Al Pacino. bc
Shirly: Black dress by BEBE, bebe.com . Shoes by MONA MIA, monamiashoes.com . Jewelry by ONE OF A KIND, shoponeofakindjewelry. com . Diamonds by ORKA MESICA, orkamesica.com . Mila: Black dress by THE CHILDREN’S PLACE, childrensplace.com . Shoes by MICHAEL KORS, michaelkors.com Bruce: Shirt by H&M, hm.com . Ultra skinny legs jeans by LEVI’S, us.levi.com . Shoes by ALDO, aldoshoes. com . Hat by STYLE 212, trademarkia.com . Glasses by BADGLEY MISCHKA, badgleymischka.com . Jewelry by ORKA MESICA, orkamesica. com Journey: Shirt by SPARKLE COUTURE, sparklecoutureclothing.com
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the best
Check out the latest and greatest wheels to keep you and your little one updated with the most functional, stylish, and investment-worthy buggies in the market today
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“You cannot believe how excited I am to own this Jeremy Scott Onyx stroller by Cybex. It is stunning, as I knew it would be. The print is nostalgic to my younger years and guaranteed allover fun for the kids. My son always stares at the prints, and I’ve received many compliments every time I am out with it. Combined with the usability of the Onyx, this is a stylish and functional buggy in one that’s easy to bring everywhere.”
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St r o l l A wa y stroller view
Onyx in “Food Fight” print by CYBEX BY JEREMY SCOTT collection
J
eremy Scott’s new line for the playground set is chic and whimsical—as expected from the designer, whose lauded work includes collaborations with Adidas (sneakers with angel wings, camo bears, poodles). Scott recently teamed up with one of the world’s leaders in the child safety industry to produce “Food Fight”— a striking line of Cybex strollers, car seats, carriers, and accessories that exude the same youthfulness and vibrancy of Scott’s fashion designs. The designer was inspired by his own childhood when creating the pop art prints. He states, “It started with the idea of a ‘food fight’ reminiscent of those which happen in ‘80s movies. Unfortunately, this never happened to me! That got
With characters like the Sodapop Girl fighting a hotdog, and “courageous popcorn pieces tackling an aggressive beef burger,” the prints are a refreshing take on the otherwise usual hues of strollers in the market today.
ily adjustable reclining backrest. This lightweight buggy can be compactly collapsed and be used in junction with the Cybex infant car seat, making it a complete travel system. The Aton 3 car seat also features the print. The Aton can be used from birth to approximately 18 months, features a new height-adjustable headrest with integrated harness guides combined with Linear Side-Impact Protection.
The collection is featured in the Callisto 3-in-1 System, which can be transformed into the optional carry cot to a fully-equipped city pram. It is also available in the Onyx model (photographed above), which is also equipped with an extra-large sun canopy for those sunny days, and an eas-
Parents on the go will also love the Cybex Food Fight carrier (toted around by model, Amber Rose). Of course, the collection won’t be complete without the stylish baby bag and footmuffs that provide protection from wind, rain, and cold—perfect for the colder months coming to us.
me into thinking what it would be like if food were actually fighting—the result is the print of the Cybex by Jeremy Scott Collection.”
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“The best part about a conglomerate launching new products is that they can afford all the best features and not have to sacrifice on safety tests and usability. I also love that Evenflo is upping their game in terms of their look. This way, a family’s needs for comfort, protection, and style are all met—and at a very non-discriminating price point, at that.”
Snugli Harnessed Booster Car Seat in Black Camo print $229.99 This 2-in-1 car seat can be used by children from 22-110 lbs., either as a booster or in combination with the car’s seat belt. It also has LATCH technology that allows for quick and sturdy installation. The 3-layers of foam technology provide our little darlings with additional lumbar support—and on the topic of comfort, snacking is not an issue since the seat comes with a storage pocket for munching moods, together with two cup holders.
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Evenflo JourneyLite Travel System in Polka Dottie Purple print $149 Launched early this year, Evenflo’s JourneyLite stroller features the brand’s smart practicality in one lean, mean mobility machine. Boasting of a parent console with covered storage with integrated headphone cord access, our other favorite feature is the free (did I mention, free?) second Discovery Infant Car Seat stay-in-car base that the system is equipped with—allowing for easy transfers from home to cars, and among two different vehicles. The stroller stands alone when folded; the child tray is deeper than the usual, and even features double cup holders. There is also a full sized basket, plus a canopy with a peek-a-boo window. Bonus for us “drivers” is the handle, which has energy absorbing foam for our comfort. And for the most important aspect, the stroller is side impact tested, meeting or exceeding all applicable Federal safety standards. Hoo-ha!
St r o l l A wa y stroller view Modern, Versatile Baby Gear for Your Kids Made of ultra-lightweight material, this sleek stroller is rust-free and easy to clean. It is super compact and easy to fold which makes it perfect for strolling at the malls or vacations. For your baby’s convenience, it is equipped with a padded seat and multi-position adjustable backrest and adjustable leg rest.
Editor’s NOTE (WORTHY):
Stroller 300 Series lightweight umbrella stroller by BABY CARGO
Perfection is all in the details, and I appreciate the “Georgi” stroller diaper bag made especially for this Baby Cargo (slides easily over umbrellas and stroller handles, with two heavy duty snaps), just as much as the lightweight stroller itself. Love the matte black color plus how compact and easy to fold it is. bc-mag.com { ANNIVERSARY 2013 } b c
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wollack FUNNY FATHERS Modern day parenting is tough—we’re often expected to raise our children while pursuing our careers, but the comedians on Chelsea Lately and After Lately are seemingly adept in juggling their work and family lives. We don’t hear from dads often enough about their families, so it’s refreshing to see these two talk about everything under the sun—from diaperchanging to doing what they love for a living, and how they switch hats in between.
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Spencer: Chambray workshirt, belt, and slim fit jeans, all by J CREW, jcrew.com . Bowtie by TARGET, target.com . Custom made sneakers by CONVERSE, converse.com
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funny business
Writer, producer, comedian, and father—those are just a few of the titles under Brad Wollack’s belt. The co-executive producer and co-writer of After Lately (which he is “co-thrilled” about) talks about about his career, family, missed lollipop opps, and all-around parenting his adorable little man, Spencer INTERVIEW b y K A R I Z F A V I S p h o t o g r a p h s b y B ra n do n H ic k ma n S h o t o n Loc a t i o n a t S ta g e 1 at U n iv e rsal S t u dios i n L os A n g e l e s
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Tell us more about your background. How long have you been working with Chelsea Handler?
I started in TV in high school, doing a public access show with my best friend. Continued in college, got some professional work in college, got an agent just before graduating, and started writing and acting. I came upon Chelsea in, I think, 2005. My current manager was an assistant at the time for Chelsea’s manager. He’s a friend from college, so he called me, told me about this girl Chelsea Handler. She was doing a pilot for E!, for a sketch show called, creatively, The Chelsea Handler Show. She needed someone to help punch up the monologue—no money, no guarantee if the show would go, but I was told if she liked my material, and if the show moved to series, I’d get a writing job. The rest is history. You’re the executive producer, co-creator, and co-star of After Lately. What’s it like to create a show like that? Where did you get the inspiration behind it?
It’s probably the thing I am most proud of in my career. I co-created it with Chelsea and our other executive producer (who runs Chelsea Lately as well), Tom Brunelle. The inspiration was pretty much us laughing at the ridiculous things happening in and around our office. We knew TV shows had been made about the behind the
bc-mag.com scenes of a fictitious comedy show, but we figured it would be fun to do a scripted show about the behind the scenes of a real show. We didn’t know if we all could act, but it turns out playing exaggerated versions of ourselves was something we all were kind of decent at. Kind of a whim, but it worked. I’ll gladly put that show up against any comedy on television—I think it’s that good. Sure, I’m biased, but I’m also very proud.
has for people. How did you get into comedy?
I couldn’t do anything else. Seriously. I never set out to “do comedy,” but I didn’t know what else to do. Until Chelsea Lately hit, I didn’t really think I was “in comedy.” Finally just accepting the fact that I’m a comedian/comedic writer. I guess that’s a good indication that I am a comedian—I’m wildly insecure. Who are your biggest inspirations?
What is it like working with Chelsea?
As I always say, “What you see (on Chelsea Lately and After Lately) is what you get.” She is exactly off camera as she is on camera. Truly genuine. Obviously, day in and day out we see a softer side of her than the audiences may get to see, but she is who she is, and that’s what makes her so great. What you all don’t always get to see is the incredible generosity and care she
I don’t worship any one person. There are aspects of a whole host of people—both in and out of comedy— who have achieved in their own right. Comedically, I love Ricky Gervais and Louis C.K., but there are writers and producers and business folks who I derive inspiration from all the time. I like people who stop at nothing to achieve their vision. I wish I were bolder at times. Favorite comedy shows and TV shows in general?
After Lately! Funny thing is that I don’t watch a lot of comedy on TV. Since it’s what I do every day, I end up watching it and analyzing it too much. It’d be like working in, say, produce and going to the grocery store and analyzing the other blueberries and strawberries— kind of annoying. There are some terrific shows out there, but I prefer dramas because they allow me to “escape” from my daily life. Breaking Bad, The Killing, Newsroom, etc.
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bc-mag.com Can you tell us about your wife? How did you guys meet?
She’s beautiful, loving, a fantastic mother, and super talented. She’s a brilliant interior decorator (she did Chelsea’s home) and has an eye for design and fashion that is second to none. I think the only time her eye failed her is when she fell for me! In fact, one of her real specialties is designing baby nurseries. Look her up at shannonwollack.com. We met when she moved in with some friends of mine in 2002. She found a listing on Craigslist, and it turned out we knew a lot of people in common. Most don’t believe this, but she pursued me. I’m lucky she did. And, in my opinion, our son is a constant reminder nowadays that we were meant to be together. Tell us about your adorable son, Spencer. What’s it like raising a little boy
“I also love the life he has created for us. I am much more family-oriented than I ever was before.” while being in such a fast-paced and demanding TV industry?
Spencer is an amazing kid. For the first year of his life, I didn’t fully get the whole kid thing. He didn’t do much and he certainly didn’t need me for anything. Now, at 2, he is incredible. So cute and such a boy—loves playing with balls and watching sports with me. He also loves music. Without ever teaching him how, he picked up my guitar, held it like a pro, and started strum-
ming. I have this dream of him being a rock star. I asked him if he wanted to be one the other day and he said, “Yes.” Full disclosure: He had no clue what I was asking him and it’s “yes” of only a few words he knows. I’m amazed how rapidly he develops. I also love the life he has created for us. I am much more family-oriented than I ever was before. I still travel a bunch to do stand-up on the weekends, but I don’t do as much as I used to. I’m much more anxious to get home at night than I ever was before. Not always possible in entertainment, especially when part of the business is socializing at night, or we have to shoot something late, etc. But we have a whole new group of friends with kids that he has exposed us to and I couldn’t be more grateful. Another challenge is not exposing him publicly too much. I do it in some cases—like right now— but I don’t want him to be a prop for
1 Shannon and Spencer Wollack on her first Mother’s Day 2 Brad and Spencer’s appearance on Chelsea Lately—with matching outfits! 3 Spencer dressed as Brad for Halloween 4 The Chelsea Lately team celebrating Father’s Day with their children
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me. He offers me great material for my comedy, but I try to use his actions as generalities and as a way to relate with other parents, i.e. “Isn’t it crazy when our kids do this?” If only he could sleep a little later, he’d be perfect. Favorite products for children?
Constantly changing depending on his age/needs. Always finding some new type of sippy cup that seems more effective than the last. We were big on the ZoLi cups for awhile. Right now, my favorite things are his car seat—a Maxi-Cosi Pria 70. We bring it on airplanes, too, and it fits perfectly in a seat. Also, we just bought him a Schwinn child carrier/seat for my bike. We’re having a lot of fun riding my bike together and he looks super cute in his little helmet. I also love the Seventh Generation free and clear wipes—perfect for cleaning him up, but they’re not toxic and don’t smell.
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Most embarrassing daddy moments?
Haven’t had too many, thankfully. I try to anticipate everything to avoid embarrassment. However, I took him to his first swim lesson the other week and he freaked out, which I was told was normal. The teacher handed him back to me at the end and said, “Spencer, you did such a great job, your daddy will give you a lollipop.” It was a great idea, for sure, but I hadn’t brought a lollipop. And the teacher kept saying, “Dad, give Spencer a lollipop for being such a good boy.” I was thinking, “Okay, lady, shut up—I don’t have one.” All the moms there just kind of looked at me like, “How could you not have brought a lollipop, idiot?!?!” The teacher sold me out, but fortunately Spencer forgot about it two seconds later. bc
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in a jiffy
After Lately’s resident “awkward misfit” talks to us about his beginnings as an art director, his career as a roundtable regular on the mocku-series, and how he met his wife on a serendipitous high school field trip (and how that spawned his super cute son, Ben) INTERVIEW b y K A R I Z F A V I S p h o t o g r a p h s b y B ra n do n H ic k ma n S h o t o n Loc a t i o n a t S ta g e 1 at U n iv e rsal S t u dios i n L os A n g e l e s
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eff "Jiffy" Wild, whose humble beginnings as a set dresser in the art department of Chelsea Lately has led him to become a series regular in the faux reality show, After Lately, hails from Tucson, Arizona, and had pursued a career in television since he moved to Los Angeles. Owing his success to Chelsea Handler herself, Jiffy has been with the show for 6 years now. When he's not working on the show or touring and opening for his friends, Jiffy says he is domesticated, helping raise his little one, Ben. We talk about the values that's gotten him to where he is, how he and his wife are potty training Ben, and Jiffy's son's fascination for the iPad—that they had to intervene.
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(Held by Jiffy): Hectorr shoe in ocean/dark navy by UMI, $60, umishoes.com
jiffy wild
bc-mag.com bc-mag.com “So after he goes number 2, he walks out to me, wherever I am, with his pants down, he hands me a fistful of wet wipes and just bends over. No words are exchanged, but I know what he needs.” Tell us about your beginnings as a comedian. Did you always want to work in the entertainment industry?
I still don’t really consider myself a comedian. I do stand-up and tell jokes on TV sometimes, but I work with a lot of people who’ve been doing it for 10 to 20 years, and it feels like a sacred thing. I feel like an interloper in their club. That being said...I love being a comedian. I love going out on the road and opening up for my friends. There’s very little pressure—nobody is there to see me, so I’m getting to feel it out as I go. Best lessons you learned from the
industry so far?
Do the best job at the job you are asked to do. If you’re a PA—come in every day and kill at your PA duties— the higher ups will eventually take note. And have a positive attitude. That’s just as important. You can know on the inside that you’re meant to be a writer or a producer, but you can’t act like you deserve it. Most inspiring people you’ve worked with?
Chelsea Handler...I still don’t understand how she does everything she does, and still be so cool. I hope that if I ever get even somewhat
successful—I’m able to help people out as much as she does. Favorite comedy shows and TV shows in general?
All day, I’m around people writing jokes and being funny...when I get home, I want to see a Dateline on a serial killer. Right now, my wife and I watch HGTV all night, every night. We love house flipping shows. A good show for us is seeing something that gives us a good idea on how to remodel our bathroom. Pretty exciting stuff. Tell us about your wife and how you
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met. First impressions of each other?
I met my wife on a school bus on our way to a Spanish field trip. I was a junior in high school and she was a sophomore. Her girlfriend told me that she (my wife) always had this huge crush on me, but I had no idea about it, so she eventually lost interest. I was dumbstruck when I found out. I had seen her around school
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and thought she was beautiful, drop dead gorgeous. She ultimately set the bar for what an attractive woman was in my mind. But I was so mad, because if had I known she liked me, I would’ve done something about it, but I felt like I had lost my chance. Anyway, we sat next to each other on this school bus, and ended up really
hitting it off. I asked her out. We went to a movie and had frozen yogurt. The rest was history. We’ve dated on and off since I was 16, got married at 26, had Benny at 30, and our daughter is due in 3 weeks. I’m sure I got all those dates wrong, but the old lady will forgive me.
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“My wife asked Benny the other day, “What does Daddy do for fun?” And Ben said, “He works.” And I think that’s true, and I feel really lucky [that] that’s true.” What’s it like being a dad to Ben and working in the TV industry?
It’s fun. I love my job... we work a lot of hours sometimes, but it’s totally worth it. My wife asked Benny the other day, “What does Daddy do for fun?” And Ben said, “He works.” And I think that’s true, and I feel really lucky [that] that’s true. Ben’s been on camera twice now, and crushed both times, but my wife and I decided not to let him be a child actor or anything…Maybe when he’s 18.
I don’t need any more competition out here.
wipe your kid’s ass forever. Favorite products for children?
Funniest daddy moments?
He’s potty trained now, but he doesn’t know how to wipe. So after he goes number 2, he walks out to me, wherever I am, with his pants down, he hands me a fistful of wet wipes and just bends over. No words are exchanged, but I know what he needs. And I do it. And for some weird reason, it makes me happy. You don’t get to
Six months ago, I would’ve said the iPad, but we recently had to have an intervention with him, and we sent him to a little toddler iPad rehab for his addiction. I like the Potette Plus Travel Potty—it’s a little fold up toilet you can keep in your trunk for emergencies, or if a bathroom is too gross. I haven’t used it for him yet, but it works great for me. bc
1 Jiffy and Ben bonding outdoors 2 Jiffy with Brad Wollack, Chelsea Handler, and Terri Seymour 3 Jiffy and Ben at the coffee shop 4 Jiffy and Ben checking out “some hot cars”
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please practice eq with your child Just as important to reading to our children or teaching them their 1, 2, 3’s and A, B, C’s, is instilling them with strong emotional intelligence skills Wo r d s b y D r . J e a n Gr e av e s
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id you know that our children’s emotional intelligence is dependent upon what we, as parents, model for them? Emotional intelligence (EQ) is our ability to understand and manage our own emotions as well as understanding and managing the emotions of others. Renowned emotional intelligence expert and award-winning author Dr. Jean Greaves provides four emotional intelligence strategies to help parents develop and practice their own EQ skills when communicating with children so that they, in turn, can grow up practicing emotional intelligence to manage anger and other difficult feelings, use non-violent behavior to resolve conflict, show respect for others, and ultimately become less emotionally scarred.
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FOS T E RI N G CO N N E C T IO N S EQ SKILL: SELF-AWARENESS QUIT TREATING YOUR FEELINGS AS GOOD OR BAD
It’s human nature to want to create two simple and easy piles of emotions: the good ones and the bad ones. For instance, most of us would automatically classify frustration as bad. You don’t want yourself nor your children to feel frustrated—you might even beat yourself up for feeling frustrated—and may do whatever you can to get rid of it. Likewise, we tend to let good emotions like excitement run wild.
To practice this skill, you need to ask yourself questions that start with, “If I were this person…”
The downfall of attaching such labels to your and your child’s emotions is that judging your emotions keeps you from really understanding what it is that you or your child is feeling.
This is a wonderful skill to instill in our children as soon as possible. Having the ability to see challenging situations from another’s perspective is a skill that will hold value throughout a lifetime.
Emotions are there to inform you. Suspending judgment of emotions allows them to run their course and vanish. So, the next time you feel an emotion begins to build up, refrain from putting it into the good or bad pile and remind yourself that the feeling is there to help you understand something important. Practice this skill with your child and they will learn to better handle extreme emotions as they come into play.
EQ SKILL: SELF-MANAGEMENT
EQ SKILL: SOCIAL AWARENESS STEP INTO THEIR SHOES
For most of us parents, we remember the times when our young children would place their small feet into our overly sized shoes or boots, and try their best to walk around! Now, imagine trying to shove your overly sized feet into their tiny shoes or slippers. It certainly puts things into perspective at how differently we may handle or react in a certain situation compared to that of our children. Walking in the shoes of another is social awareness at its best. It’s for all of us who want to gain perspective and a deeper understanding of others, improve our communication, and identify problems before they escalate.
SMILE AND LAUGH MORE
Did you know that when you laugh and smile, your face sends signals to your brain that you are happy? Your brain literally responds to the nerves and muscles in your face to determine your emotional state. Smiling a genuine smile is contagious. So is laughing. The next time you find yourself stuck in a frustrating moment with your child, forcing yourself to smile counteracts your own negative emotional state. It will also bring comfort and ease to your child. A crying child who sees their parent break out into a large smile, or burst into laughter, gives them a moment to pause the upset and focus on a positive moment. Smiling and laughter won’t eliminate feeling down, and they shouldn’t— every mood has its purpose—but it’s nice to know you have an outlet when
you need to put on a happy face. EQ SKILL: RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT TAKE FEEDBACK WELL
Feedback is a unique gift. It’s meant to help us improve in ways that we perhaps cannot see on our own. We, as parents, need to practice giving good feedback to our children, but we also need to allow our children the opportunity to give us feedback! To receive it well, first, consider the source of your feedback. As you receive it, listen and really hear what’s being said. Ask clarifying questions and ask for examples to better understand the person’s perspective. Whether you agree with what has been said or not, thank the person for his or her willingness to share, because it takes almost as much grace to give feedback as it does to receive it. After you receive the feedback, don’t feel pressured to rush into action. Time can help you absorb the underlying point, sort out your feelings and thoughts, and help you to decide what to do with it. If we practice this skill in front of our children, as well as allow them the opportunity to provide us with feedback and take theirs graciously, they will learn to better manage how they give and receive opinion. bc
ABOUT DR. JEAN GREAVES Dr. Jean Greaves is a mother of two, an award-winning author, CEO and co-founder of TalentSmart®, the leading provider of emotional intelligence tests and training that serves nearly every industry including educational, medical and biotech, nonprofit, and more than 75% of Fortune 500 companies. Her bestselling books have been translated into 25 languages and are sold in more than 150 countries. Her latest best seller is Emotional Intelligence 2.0.
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I had no idea how much stress I was constantly under, until I deliberately removed all the 'have to's' from my life two days a week. The first month of that almost broke me because I had so much anxiety over what wasn't being accomplished,
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ard not to be captivated by gorgeous second time mom-to-be actress, Autumn Reeser. Turning 33 on September 21st, Autumn is your bonafide California girl. Born and raised in La Jolla, the svelte expectant mom is most noted for her role as Taylor Townsend in The O.C., and as Agent Lizzie Grant in Entourage, and has just finished filming for Necessary Roughness, in which she plays Abigail Bruce, the rival to John Stamos’ Connor McClane. Reeser (and her ageless looks) seems to have come a long way since her days as the quick-witted over-achiever, Taylor Townsend in The O.C..
Now, the Californian beauty is happily married to long time beau, writer/producer Jesse Warren, and is busy raising their 2-year old son, Finneus James, while expecting another boy in November. She is involved in another passion project, her own website for working women called MoveLifeStyle.com, which tackles life guidance and issues affecting women in the workplace, and other lifestyle topics such as travel, technology, entertainment, and fashion. The busy mom opens up her fabulous home and talks about her type-personality, juggling career and family, the valuable lessons she learned from the entertainment industry, the challenges of motherhood, and Post-Its on the mirror.
P h o t o g r a p h y b y A dam H e n d e rshott W a r d r o b e : ( A u t u m n ) P e a i n th e P od ; ( Fi n n ) Gap H a i r & M a k e u p b y Emily S ims
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By 18, I want my children to be able to find themselves anywhere in the world and have the peace of mind that they have the wits, intelligence, and ingenuity to take care of themselves and have an amazing and joyful experience.
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You were reportedly born and raised in California, and coincidentally, you’re known for your role as Taylor Townsend on “The O.C.” Fondest memories from the show?
We had the opportunity to shoot in some really beautiful, classically California locations. As a lifelong California girl, it was familiar and fabulous. What are the best lessons you’ve learned from the industry so far?
Maintain a strong separation between the business and your family life— this is the hardest one, and I think it’s most important to do it mentally. When I’m at work, I’m working hard and investing in my role and in the people around me. When I’m home, I give my attention to my family and investing in our emotional wellbeing. This has been a lesson that was a long time coming and a hard one to learn for me, but it’s one of the things I’m most proud of and which I fiercely maintain. You’re also known for your role as Lizzie Grant on “Entourage.” Are you anything like her character at all?
I learned so much from playing Lizzie Grant and credit that time with a profound shift in my career toward playing intelligent, driven, ambitious women. She taught me how to stand up for myself and I uncovered a hidden strength in myself that was aching to be released—I’ll always love Lizzie for giving me that gift! What other projects keep you busy these days? Any new shows, films, etc.?
I just wrapped season 3 on Necessary Roughness, where I played Abby Bruce, a power-driven sports agent. You married writer/director Jesse Warren in 2010. Can you tell us more about him? How did you guys meet?
Jess and I met in college, started dating in early 2002, and we’ve been together for over 11 years now. A writer/director—he’s smart, loves technology and movies, and he knows how to make me
bc-mag.com laugh. We met when we were pretty young, so we took our time on the way to the altar—we were married 7 years after we started dating (under an oak tree in Ojai in 2009), and I gave birth to our son, Finn, the day after our 2nd wedding anniversary. We have the shared goal of wanting thriving artistic careers and a big active family, so we talk a lot about how to make that a reality. You’re expecting another one this November! Are you going to find out the baby’s gender beforehand?
We’re having another little boy and I definitely wanted to find out—so much of my life and my career are completely unpredictable, so I already get my fill of surprises. I’ll take the ability to plan ahead wherever I can get it!
What is the most exciting and challenging part about mommyhood? How do you and Jesse divide parenting duties?
This has been another area where we’ve really had to learn how to make our own rules. We were both raised by wonderful stay-at-home moms, so that’s the example we have in our minds, but not the reality we live. Therefore, every new routine is one of intentional creation, and it’s a constant negotiation to figure out what really works for a high-stress, two-career household. Right now, we both strive to end our workdays by 6 to have dinner as a family. Mostly, I cook (which is relaxing and creative for me) while he takes the dogs and Finn for a walk or a run. Then, we take turns every
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I already get my fill of surprises. I'll take the ability to plan ahead wherever I can get it!
bc-mag.com night with bath time and bedtime. My husband drives my son to preschool in the morning, which gives me a little extra time to work out or get to overdue emails. Then as long as I’m not on set, I pick him up in the afternoon. My mother has also been a big help during the daytime hours and we have a stable of about 5 babysitters that we rely heavily on. What do you do as a family to unwind? Bond?
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Last year, we spent 6 months living largely apart from each other while I filmed Last Resort in Hawaii, so since my return in December, we’ve made it a major priority to spend our weekends together as a family. We try to really underschedule our Saturdays and Sundays so that we can go with the flow and be spontaneous together. As a type-A personality, I cannot tell you how difficult it was for me to make this transition! It’s also been one of the
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I think the simplest answer is to prioritize-making your goals for your children very clear makes it easier to know what activities you can say 'no' to.
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bc-mag.com most informative lessons of my life, and completely changed how I relate to the world. I had no idea how much stress I was constantly under, until I deliberately removed all the ‘have to’s’ from my life two days a week. The first month of that almost broke me because I had so much anxiety over what wasn’t being accomplished, but bit by bit, I began to notice that my husband was happier, my son had quality time with his parents, and—shocker—I was enjoying myself without a goal in sight. It made me much more present as a parent, a wife, and as a woman and a friend. I’m more deliberate with my time during the week now and I don’t waste it. 5 things you never leave home without nowadays...
Sunglasses, reusable grocery bags,
water, a snack, cute flats! What’s the best parenting advice you can give to working moms like yourself?
This is one of my favorite topics and one of the reasons I started my website for working women, MoveLifeStyle. com. I love to hear stories from other women about how they balance career and home life, because everyone manages it differently, and I learn something from every working mom I meet. I think the simplest answer is to prioritize—making your goals for your children very clear makes it easier to know what activities you can say ‘no’ to. Making your goals for your career defined and simple, and communicating them to everyone in the family allows you to take the time you need to accomplish your work tasks without feeling guilty. One piece of advice I’ve
kept was, everyday she identifies her top three priorities and writes them on a Post-It on her mirror in the morning while she’s doing her makeup. I love the idea of starting out the day with that kind of attainable focus. There’s less of a chance to slip into ‘overwhelm’ mode when you make time to clarify your work and family priorities. What are your aspirations and wishes for your children?
Jess and I are first and foremost striving to raise independent, strong and self-reliant children. By 18, I want my children to be able to find themselves anywhere in the world and have the peace of mind that they have the wits, intelligence, and ingenuity to take care of themselves and have an amazing and joyful experience. Selfconfidence, that’s my primary goal. bc
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One Filipino chef, who’s making waves in both the kitchen and television, spills the secret to his success and shares with us two of his favorite easy-to-do recipes P h o t o g r a p h s b y M A R T I N FA V I S INTERVIEW b y V A L E R I E A NNE D E L C A S T I L L O ADDITI O NAL PH O T O GRAPH S BY mar k cabala n g S p e c i a l T h a n k s t o F e li x a n d R e g g i e B arri e n tos
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’s admirable how humble Chef Ron Bilaro is, especially for someone whose résumé includes being a private chef to Chicago’s most elite families, cookbook author, host of his very own international television show, and columnist for the Chicago Tribune. Despite all these feathers on his cap, we find that he’s one who never loses sight of where he came from, and never forgets to give back to the community by actively participating in several charitable organizations. This is the story of how a young man from the Philippines who followed his passion for the culinary arts, and ended serving up some of his gastronomic creations to the Queen of Talk herself, Oprah Winfrey. Learn also how 9/11 played a role in Ron Bilaro’s transition from cooking enthusiast to private chef and culinary expert.
BC: Let’s go way back, before all this started. How did cooking start as an interest? Ron: I was born to working parents,
and as we were growing up, we were given chores to do at home. I remember clearly that my first task was to cook rice, using my hands as my gauge. Oftentimes when I was young, I’d be finding myself beating eggs with sugar and flour and putting it in the refrigerator—hoping it would turn into a cake. (Laughs) Growing up, living in the States, there were instances when I would invite my friends and cook for them. I would turn my rented apartment into a very cozy restaurant, putting tables and candlelit dinners, preparing a three-course meal. After September 11, working as a flight attendant, I found myself enrolling in a culinary school.
BC: How many years did you spend studying the craft? R: This is my second degree. I already
spent 1-year for my course under Le Cordon Bleu.
Ce l e b r i t y C h e f BC: Can you tell us more about your mentor, Chef Art Smith? R: He was one of the guests in
one of the dinners I was working on [as a private chef] at that time, and he kept on coming back to the kitchen and complimenting me on the dishes that I made, and at one point, he invited me to cook with him for “her.” At the time, I didn’t know who “she” was, until after the party—and that started the beginning of a beautiful relationship with me and Art. He opened doors for me, a lot of good opportunities. Had I not been known for Ms. Winfrey as the person we both cooked for, I think it would’ve been a little difficult for me to get into the scene, so I thank him for that. I look up to him, I follow his advice. He’s been a mentor, we keep in touch, and I’m very lucky that I have worked with him for some of Hollywood’s elite. BC: How did you feel when you found out it was the ultimate Queen of Talk? R: I didn’t hesitate. I just asked him,
“When can I start?”
BC: What sparked your passion to help and give back to the community? R: I just want to help. I will never be
where I am right now if I did not get any help, so I just want to pay it forward, give back, because I think the more you give, the more you will receive. BC: We read that you’re working on a cookbook of sorts. Can you tell us a little bit more about that? R: Well, my first cookbook that was
launched four years ago was sold out. Now I’m working on a bigger cookbook, a compilation of my show’s recipes, and some of my personal favorites. I work as a private chef in the States, when I’m not filming my show. I don’t normally repeat the dish that I make everyday, unless I am asked to do so. That, I have a big compilation of, and I’m planning to release it before the year ends, if things work out.
BC: Speaking of easy kitchen tips, all the recipes that you made today were very impressive! Any tips for busy moms out there? R: Well, number one, you have to have
everything that you want to cook in front of you before you start cooking, because that’s a very important basic process—it saves you a lot of time. Number two, go simple. The simpler, the better. People ask me, “What can you do in half an hour?” Do a lot of stir fry’s. Use olive oil because not only is it healthy, it’s easy. You can portionsize cooked chicken, vacuum seal it, and put it in the refrigerator. You can just toss it with some mixed greens and do some dressing, if you’re in for a healthy fare like the dressing that we made, which is just a combination of fresh herbs, olive oil, salt and pepper, and a little bit of Dijon mustard, things like that. It comes in very handy. Now if you have kids and they eat big meals, just do one-pot meals. You can do maybe fried chicken, or something that you just save the other half. You always want to be creative when you make your meal. It saves you time, and you can do other things. bc
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(Oprah’s choice) Salmon Cakes with Herb Sauce What you will need: 4 pieces of 6 oz salmon fillets 2 to 3 cups bread crumbs 1 pack mayonnaise red pepper flakes 1 cup red wine vinegar 2 eggs canola oil for frying Dijon mustard salt and pepper non-stick frying pan food processor For the herb sauce: 4 pieces jalapeño 1 bunch fresh cilantro or coriander 1 bunch mint Dijon mustard Red wine vinegar olive oil blender
Instructions: 1. Clean the salmon and remove its skin. Cut the salmon into chunks. 2. Take the cut up fish fillet, 1 cup bread crumbs, 2 tablespoons of Dijon mustard, ½ cup of mayonnaise, 1 egg, parsley, basil, and salt and pepper and combine in the food processor. 3. Run the food processor for a few of seconds at a time, making sure to create a chunky mixture and not pureé the salmon. 4. Carefully remove the blades of the food processor. Using your hand, scoop out the salmon mixture and create small, palm-sized patties. Make sure that your hand is damp for easier patty-making. Create even proportions to ensure the same cooking time for each piece. 5. For the herb sauce, take the jalapeño, mint, coriander, 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar, 1 tablespoon mayonnaise and Dijon mustard, 1 cup olive oil and combine in a blender. 6. Drizzle the dressing over the salmon cakes before serving.
If you’re looking to pack up on the Omega 3’s, salmon has got it—and more. It also contains protein, iron, and is low in saturated fat.
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Ce l e b r i t y C h e f Smothered Chicken with Pineapple What you will need: 6 pieces boneless chicken breasts (with skin) 2 cups all purpose flour 2 cups red wine 5 cloves garlic 1 large yellow onion 2 quarts chicken stock 1 can tomato sauce 1 canned pineapple tidbits 1 small package all purpose cream 1 bunch scallions canola oil salt and pepper
Instructions: 1. Cut chicken breast into big chunks, making sure that they are approximately the same size to ensure even cooking. Also make sure that the chicken is thoroughly cleaned. 2. In a plate, mix flour, salt, and pepper. Dredge the chicken in the flour, which will make the sauce thicker. 3. Take Ÿ cup canola oil and heat in a non-stick pan for 2 minutes. Chef Ron recommends using canola oil when frying because unlike olive oil, it does not get burnt easily. When frying, also make sure that the oil is hot before placing your ingredients in it, as cool oil will only get absorbed, resulting to a soggy end product. 4. Sear the chicken for 3 minutes on each side, and set aside in a plate. 5. Take 5 cloves of garlic and 1 yellow onion, and chop separately. Using the same canola oil, fry the onion first, tossing in the garlic about 2 minutes later. Garlic cooks in 10 seconds, so avoid overcooking it by frying the onions first. 6. Once the garlic and onion are cooked, put the chicken back in the pan. Pour in ½ cup of red wine. Chef Ron recommends to cook with the red wine used for drinking. Season with salt and pepper. 7. Wait for a minute before pouring in the broth. Take ½ cup of tomato sauce and drizzle it all over the chicken. Cover and let cook for a few minutes. 8. Add the all purpose cream and pineapple chunks (no juice). Do not mix. Let it simmer until the chicken is cooked. More than just protein, chicken also contains potassium, calcium, but without the carbohydrates. bc-mag.com { ANNIVERSARY 2013 } b c
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A S a r h PH O T O GRAPH S BY
RUSSELL BAER
W O RD S & INTERVIEW BY
K A R I Z FA V I S
HAIR & M AKEUP BY
G A R EN T O L K I N S TYLING BY
J O V A N T O W N S EN D
Sarah SMILE Motherhood is what the stunning redhead, TV star is perfectly suited for.
A lot of you younger parents won’t know that the title alludes to one of my generation’s most popular music duo, Daryl Hall and John Oates’ second single. Wiki it, if it doesn’t ring a bell. However, most of you glued to your Suits would know in a snap that our cover mom, Sarah Rafferty, plays “Donna Paulsen” in one of the more exciting TV shows on-air today.
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“We’re so different. I would be helpless in an office. I am not organized.”
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ecause her acting is always on-point, it was a bit confusing on my end to separate the character from the person. It was 10 AM in Canada where Sarah was filming at the time, and my 10 PM in Manila when we scheduled our Skype video interview. I had sent my entire staff home after they set-up and checked the cameras and recorders, since it was already getting late in our side of the world. I also wanted to be in the confines of my son’s nursery while we had our conversation, feeling the whole “two mothers just chatting away” vibe. As luck would have it, we encountered technical difficulties. Her computer seemed to have no microphone or it was turned off in the settings, so we relegated to a phoner. I was a bit bummed because I kind of expected that figuring out these workplace kinks would be a cinch for Sarah—or at least, for Donna, the sexy, towering keeper of all Harvey Specter’s secrets, executive assistant-slash-BFF (whom I’m almost certain will be his FWB at some point). It’s easy to remember and be amused by her role’s brazen outspokenness, but it’s comforting that Sarah is much warmer and easygoing in our brief 35-minute, real life conversation. I don’t know if it’s too early for me to be counting Emmys for this fiery momma, but apart from her undeniable talent, I would come to learn that Rafferty has the proper tutelage for it.
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Sarah is the youngest among four girls, and the only one blessed with that auburn coif among the sisters. Hard to imagine the siblings “shared one bathroom growing up,” as Sarah fondly recalls. However, her place in their sisterhood line up may have helped account for her present career. “My parents think that the reason I’m an actress is that, being the fourth, you definitely have to find your voice at an early age. You’d want to be heard. I think they blame it on the fact that I’m a redhead.” Sarah confesses to doing each other’s hair and makeup as sisters, and recounts, “There was a lot of snaking my sisters’ cut-off shorts. Up to now we have this funny thing…My mom used to call it “hand me ups” when we give something gently worn, or when I hand something to my mom, like, ‘I think this would look fabulous on you.’ She says, ‘I love hand me ups.’” Hailing from Riverside, Connecticut, Sarah thinks back to her upbringing. “I had an amazing childhood! It is a beautiful town and a lot of my family is still in the east coast—in the area, like Boston, Connecticut, New York state—so I go back frequently to visit, and I miss it when I’m away.” Having done both sports and theater in school, Sarah was in plays as early as 6th grade. For high school she boarded, and then went off to a liberal arts college, her junior year spent abroad. “I went to Andover which is outside of Boston, and they have an amazing theater department and drama lab. I wanted to be ‘in’ with the cool drama people. I was
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an English and Theater major, and in my junior year I went to London, to the British-American Drama academy. I did a whole semester just in theater. In the summer, the program gave me a scholarship to go to Oxford to study for a month. The head of that summer program in Oxford was the dean of the Yale Drama School. I got to study with him and then I wanted, because of his encouragement, to audition for Yale. I had the encouragement of my drama teacher back in college, so I auditioned and I couldn’t believe it—I got in. Right after college, I went to grad school. I went through a very academic route to get into this. My mom’s a teacher, so I think it was also a comfortable way to go for my parents. They were incredibly supportive.” Sarah’s mother, Mimi Rafferty, was the co-chair of the English department at the Convent of the Sacred Heart.
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cademically her acting background couldn’t be sounder, but she expresses that, “You definitely learn acting by doing. When I was at Yale—it’s a 3-year program—I was probably in almost 30 plays. I think the strength of that drama education was, it was all hands-on learning by doing. And you can’t do it alone, you know? That’s what makes it hard when you don’t have a job. It’s important to get into class, or work with a coach or with your friends, and work on things because it’s definitely something you don’t want to be doing in front of a mirror.” I jest that I do the mirror thing all the time, so she asks me if I’m an actor, which I sadly refute. After confessing that I am but a frustrated thespian, I asked her to take me
back to her audition for one of the toprated TV law dramedys of late. “I had a unique experience with Suits. I got the script because, Gabriel [Macht], who plays Harvey, gave it to me. He said, “Can you read this and would you consider playing this role, Donna? I think you would be amazing.” This clues me in that the Harvey-Donna tandem started long before the show and go far back. Sarah confirms, “Way back. We met back when we were in college. We did a summer theater together, the Williamstown Theater Festival, when we were 20 something years old. The long and short of it is that I ended up doing a pilot and it didn’t get picked up. When it didn’t get picked up, I told Gabriel. We were just chatting. He was like, ‘Great! Can you read the pilot that I’m doing?’ So he handed it to me. They wanted to cast the role of “Donna” in New York, so I actually put myself on tape and sent it in. I didn’t meet everybody ‘til I got on set, which was strange because they just looked at my tape. God, I don’t know how many times that tape was viewed, but it cut down the anxiety.” To that I exclaim, “Best audition ever!” to which Sarah agrees. “Best audition ever—it was the least stressful.” Besides the show’s brilliant writing (I have yet to get started with season 3), one other reason that ladies are glued (besides the obvious eye candy) is the wardrobe. I asked Sarah about her favorite outfit, and obviously, she couldn’t choose one. Why should she? This year, she gets to don Gucci, Burberry, Valentino, Victoria Beckham, Giambattista Valli, Donna Karan, Lanvin (which she mentions sadly got cut from a scene) among others. She recalls fitting for the second season, as it brings her back to when her younger daughter was born. “In the start of season 2, I had Iris. She was 7 weeks old when we started, I was breastfeeding, and I had my postpartum body. I was
“I have the most supportive, hands on, brilliant, tireless spouse. That’s how we handle it, it’s a team effort.” ANNIVERSARY 2013 bc-mag.com
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bc-mag.com Oona: Pool Candy Stripe Toddler Skinny Legging by ZUTANO, $21, zutano.com Iris: Pool Baby Pants by ZUTANO, $16.50, zutano.com On background: Clogs in dots design by CAPE CLOGS, P50, capeclogs.com
so thrilled that our costume designer was able to find dresses that would work with my bust and all that kind of stuff. My favorite dress from last year was a Dior dress that I wore in one scene when Hardman comes back for his interview. He was in the conference room and he says, ‘Oh, this is my old office.’ I was like,’ It took a while to feng shui the evil out of it,’ and then I slap him. Oh, [Donna] gets to slap him in a Dior dress.” And naturally, “Donna” can afford all that with the pay raise that she got (you know this). “Obviously, she’s well compensated forever. This year, there is this green lace Burberry dress that they had altered. In one episode, I have a Gucci gown to the floor that I wear on a date to the theater.” She laughs when I comment that I liked the idea of Donna going on dates. Oh, and if anyone’s interested in a bit of show trivia, Harvey wears a lot of Tom Ford garbs, while Mike Ross usually wears Burberry. Sarah shares that the guys wear so many suits and that they are
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running out of options, so a lot of what the lead boys get to wear is bespoke. Suits nerds like myself are all over that bit of info.
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ince most of her time working is spent on-set and on location in Canada, where do the semblances between her and her character start? “We’re so different. I would be helpless in an office. I am not organized. Everybody in that office is hyperorganized, on top of it. I would read the box like three times and ask a lot of questions.” Best part about working on the show though is still about friendship, “Just working with Patrick, Rick, Megan, Gina, and Gabriel.” She soulfully adds, “They’re so much fun. These people are my best friends, and they always will be.” Apart from friendships forged, there are other perks to co-starring on a hit TV program, like getting invited to co-host
talk shows like Fashion Police. I ask Sarah what that experience was like compared to the daily grind on-set. “Oh my God, it was so fun! Who wouldn’t be excited to meet Joan Rivers? She is a legend, and I can’t say that I wasn’t nervous, but she put me at ease so fast. She’s very familiar to us, you know? You sit down with her and you’re like, ‘Oh, I know you. You’re hilarious!’ It was just a matter of everyone saying, ‘Just relax, and go with it.’ And I did. I think one of her first questions was whether or not I was a real redhead. I was like, ‘Are you asking me if the carpet matches the drapes?’” At this point, I howl out with laughter, because I imagine Rivers in her trademark voice asking Sarah whether she’s a genuine ginger. Sarah reveals, “There were lot of very dirty jokes that were edited out. Much to my publicist’s relief, they went away. It’s so funny, but after I did Fashion Police which you shoot at 10 in the morning or whatever, I said, ‘That was so fun. I felt like I was sort of drunk.’ She’s [Rivers] so free. I was like, ‘Wait, did I have a glass of wine?’” I tell her that she could’ve been high from all that Joan Rivers. But the main purpose of this interview, apart from hoping for some spoilers revealed, is to learn about Rafferty on the home front. She is mother to a 5 ½, Oona, and to a 1½ year old named Iris, both girls—one also a redhead like herself. How do taping schedules fare with two little ones in tow? “We live in Toronto, and we live in LA. We move to Toronto when we’re shooting—we move as a unit. I have the most supportive, hands on, brilliant, tireless spouse. That’s how we handle it, it’s a team effort.” On the topic of her husband, Sarah reveals it was almost an instantaneous connection. I tried to say his full name Aleksanteri Olli-Pekka Seppälä (pronounced Ah-lek-san-teeri), but my tongue and smarts begged me to just stick to what Sarah calls him, which is Santtu. Rafferty sort of gushes when speaking about Santtu, almost like a teenager with a schoolgirl crush. “I would
bc-mag.com say it was practically love at first sight. We met in 1994, in New York City. My cousin in Brooklyn—who is like a sister to me—was dating Santtu’s roommate, and they were going on a date. So his roommate brought Santtu out, and my cousin brought me out. Neither of them informed us that they were kind of fixing us up. She just casually goes, ‘Oh, I want you to meet my boyfriend’s roommate.’ We had a fun night in New York City and a few days went by. My cousin was visiting her boyfriend in his apartment and Santtu came home and says to her, ‘How’s your cousin doing?’ And my cousin goes, ‘She’s great. She talks about you all the time. Give her a call.’ That was definitely stretching the truth, because I hadn’t mentioned him. But she encouraged him to call me, ask
me out, and we had one date and that was it. We were done.” Game over—and now 12 years into their union, I ask Sarah what keeps them going. “What is the trick? I just think we make a good team. We really support each other. We do our best to make time for each other. We don’t have a ton of time nor help in order to have big dates. We have really simple ones, like go to yoga together. We go hiking in a canyon in LA together, and that’ll be a date. We basically never spend an overnight without our kids, we haven’t checked into a hotel, or done any of that. We sprinkle an hour here or there when we can.”
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tell Sarah that when I told people that I was going to do an interview with her, my guy friends’ reactions would range from, “Donna’s cool. She’s so funny. I love her. Sarah Rafferty is so hot. She’s a MILF.’ I ask Sarah if she thought she’d get this reaction about her character. She laughs, “No, no but I am thrilled. One of my best guy friends was so funny when I had Oona. I was just out of the hospital and basically sitting on an ice pack, feeling gross, feeling the least attractive. He was so sweet; he knew exactly what to say. He came to me in bed and he was like, ‘I’m forever in love with you. You know what you are now? You’re a MILF.’ I was like, ‘That is so inappropriate… And that’s the best thing you could have
“We’ve spent a lot of time in the front seat of our car with tears rolling down our faces, silently laughing. My daughter is in the back singing an entire Katy Perry song, in her own world, every word right, perfect tune, totally committed.” ANNIVERSARY 2013 bc-mag.com
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ever said to me right now.’ It’s so wrong, and so right. I don’t really see myself that way, but I’m very flattered.”
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n the topic of her MILF status, how does she stay in shape? “Oh gosh, that’s stretching it. I do hot yoga and I love Pilates.” Any beauty regimen? Sarah starts with a “haha” then turns a bit pensive. “I don’t have like a, ‘wash your face, brush your teeth, moisturize.’ Nothing unique. I try to eat really clean. It’s one thing that personally makes me feel good. I’m a mess if I eat junk.” When asked whether they split parenting duties, Sarah explains that, “It sort of works out that when I’m working in Toronto, it kind of happened when Iris was born too, because I came back to work and we had the baby so even if I wasn’t home in the morning, I would be breastfeeding Iris. My hands would be full, so Santtu would get breakfast ready for Oona and get her to school. The split is kind of divided into a oneto-one ratio with the kids. Somebody’s with Iris, somebody’s with Oona. The people at Oona’s school in Toronto thought that Santtu was a stay-at-home dad. When we’re in LA, he works from an office, and is gone in the morning. We’re kind of, he’s the at-home dad in Toronto, and I’m the at-home mom in L.A.” Santtu is reportedly a portfolio manager for a Beverly Hills hedge fund. Their daughters’ unique and beautiful names come from Sarah and her husband’s Irish and Finnish roots. “Oona is an Irish name that has always been on my radar. I have an Irish heritage and my husband is Finnish. He was born literally in the Arctic Circle, in Finland. I had plenty of time to be Googling names when I was pregnant with my first child. I found out that ‘Oona’ is also a very popular name in Finland. They have embraced the Irish name. They actually pronounce it as Oh-na. In Ireland, it’s Oo-na. And it’s just the perfect name. I just love the
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sound of it; it just was poetic to me. I had a really strong feeling Oona would be a girl. When I was pregnant with my second, I was sure I was having a boy— but out came a girl, and I wasn’t totally prepared with girl names. We were in the hospital and we had thought of it. I always loved the name, Iris. I think it’s kind of timeless. Her middle name is Friday. She’s named after my grandfather’s last name. He passed just before she was born. Oona’s middle name is my middle name, which is Grey.” So which daughter takes after her? Sarah laughs out. “That’s easy. Oona takes after me—with the red hair—and
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she lives her life dramatically.” Since they move as a unit, I wondered how they spend their time together—staying in, or out and about. “Oh, both! I like going on little adventures. I love getting outside. This weekend, we all went raspberry picking which was really fun. Oona just learned how to ride her bike. I like to take little trips to a lake or to the mountains but then, when we’re at home it’s just the usual things. Oona and I, we have our special time in the evenings. After Iris goes to bed, Oona gets to stay up a little bit later and we read together. Now that she’s 5½, she’s enjoying bigger books, so we read Hugo Cabret, which is a graphic novel. Right now, we’re reading a book called,
‘Wonder.’ It’s a 300-page book. She’s into it, so we read together. And then, she loves to put on shows for us and do arts and crafts.” I ask about any funny or embarrassing moments with the girls. “Oh gosh! I can’t really think of anything right now. There are so many, and I always try to remember. We haven’t done this enough but when something funny happens, we try to write an e-mail to each other.” I tell her I do the same (but I write directly to my kids, not to my husband), and that “try” is my operative word. Sarah exclaims, “And then save it, right? There are so many moments that have just gone by. We’ve spent a lot of time in the front seat of our car with tears rolling down our faces, silently laughing. My daughter is in the back singing an entire Katy Perry song—in her own world, every word right, perfect tune, totally committed. Or she’ll be like, ‘I’m on a Payphone trying to call you.’ And I’m like, ‘How did she know that Maroon 5 song?’”
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arah sounded disappointed about our visual situation as well. “We should be on Skype right now. She’s even doing when you put your neck to the side… The head dip, the head bob. The cool moves. Like how does she know those moves? She doesn’t watch videos. It’s just so funny, but the second they catch you laughing, you’ve killed it. We do everything we can to keep a straight face.” Most of us are all too familiar with that situation. Before wrapping up, I asked her if she wanted to add anything else that she’s learned about parenthood. “Oh gosh, I’m no expert. I think we’re all just trying to do our best. For me, the biggest challenge is just trying to be present to it all, because I feel what every parent feels—which is that every second of it is going too fast. I wish before I had children that I had become a zen master, because I wish I could just be present to every second of it. I’ll just do my best.” bc
“For me, the biggest challenge is just trying to be present to it all, because I feel what every parent feels—which is that every second of it is going too fast.“
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We donned our mom-oscopes and scoured far and wide for the cream of the crop when it comes to our skin, hair and body care. We present to you BC’s first beauty awards—the highly curated list of products that range from old faithfuls to new discoveries Wo r d s BY k ariz f avis a n d v A L E R I E A NNE D E L C A S T I L L O P h o t o g r a p h s b Y mar k cabala n g a ss i s t e d b y A iya M ai R odj e l a n d A hl e e D e l R osario
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Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. —Helen Keller
Best Cleansers & Toners 101: The primary purpose of cleansers is to ward skin off make-up, dead skin cells, oil, dirt, and other pollutants. But you knew that already. The reason we really cleanse is because we know deep down that our late night partying, sleeping with our make up on days are far gone, and haggard skin as a result will bite us back when we least expect it (by the way, they’re called the forties). Toners, on the other hand, are used to further clean the skin and minimize pores, and prepare it for moisturization. As for the face mist, well, let’s just say there are days when even a trip to the bathroom to freshen up is just out of the mom schedule equation. Anyone who’s done their share of school schlepping and fills their kids’ social and extracurricular calendars to the brim knows exactly what we mean.
Natural mineral water facial spray by EVIAN, $2.91, evian.com . Aqua effect mattifying toner by NIVEA, $8.05, niveausa.com . Natrulift softening toner with Pomegranate by THE BODY SHOP, $14.50, thebodyshop-usa.com . Cocoa Butter Formula gentle daily cleanser with milk proteins and antioxidants by PALMER’S, $9.99, palmers.com . Gentle skin cleanser by CETAPHIL, $9.99, cetaphil.com . Sweet Little Face fruity foaming cleaner by PULPE DE VIE, pulpedevie.fr
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A good fragrance is really a powerful cocktail of memories and emotion. —Jeffrey Stepakoff, The Orchard
Best Scents
The earliest record of humans creating perfume dates back to 4,000 years ago, but it wasn’t until the late 19th century when modern perfumery began. That was just a brief history so we are reminded that there’s wisdom in age, and that a woman’s scent lingers. If you want to leave a lasting impression with citrus or floral undertones (and mask baby spit-up), arm yourself with eau de toilette or parfum. Or don’t even do it for others, think of it as an instant perk-me-up. A reminder though to nursing mothers, avoid spraying perfume near your chest area to avoid strong smells for your baby.
Agua de colonia fresca by HIERBAS DE IBIZA, $95, hierbasdeibiza.com . Eau de toilette by LE PETIT PRINCE, $9.99, thelittleprince.com . The Vert Green Tea solid perfume by L’OCCITANE, $28.99, usa.loccitane.com . Voyage d’Hermas pure perfume by HERMES, $105, hermes.com . Mon Jasmin Noir by BULGARI, $105, bulgari.com . Eau de Cartier by CARTIER, $65, cartier.com . Verbena Sorbet eau de toilette by L’OCCITANE, $46.54, usa.loccitane.com
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Rest when you’re weary. Refresh and renew yourself, your body, your mind, your spirit. Then get back to work. —Ralph Marston
Best Body Lotions Do we reaallly have to moisturize our body? You sound like your 6-year old, so listen up. Look at your heel, and it should give you a general idea of how your skin will look like years (or gasp, months) from now. So to those who have dry, cracked, peeling soles on your feet, get to a lotion or butter, STAT. For oily skin, it is recommended that you use water-based lotions, while those with dry skin are advised to use oil-based lotions and heavier creams to pack in the moisture. It is also best to apply body lotion immediately after bathing, when the skin is still damp. For expectant moms, there is hope in cocoa butter lotions and oils (many can attest to this) to prevent stretch marks. Although we don’t really mind the battle scars from childbirth ourselves, we could do with a few less stripes.
Stretch Mark Fading Tummy Honey Cream by BELLA B, $19.99, bellabbodycare.com . Body restructuring gel by MUSTELA, $39, mustelausa. com . Milk baby lotion by JOHNSON’S , $3.99, johnsonsbaby.com. Indulgent body cream by AVENT, $68, usa.philips.com . Cocoa Butter Formula with Vitamin E Skin therapy oil by PALMER’S, $9.88, palmers.com . Physiogel hypoallergenic cleanser by STIEFEL, $7.14, physiogelrepair.com . Daily Advance Ultra Hydrating Lotion by CETAPHIL, $9.47, cetaphil.com . Honey whipped body cream by L’OCCITANE, $45, usa.loccitane.com. Cocoa Butter Formula tummy butter for stretch marks by PALMER’S, $5.98, palmers.com
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Best Facial Care
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Shown here is a cocktail of facial creams that range from the drugstore kind to decadent ones. Apply these onto clean skin. To create a skincare routine for yourself, first identify your skin type and invest in moisturizers that address your skin problem (oil, acne, sensitivity, dryness, etc—yes, you may be experiencing skin puberty especially during and after pregnancy). Make sure to consult your dermatologist (or OB GYN) for the best options for your skin type.
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(Clockwise from bottom left) Blanc Expert ultimate whitening purifying foam by LANCOME, $78.38, lancome-usa.com . Blanc La Mer Infusion by LA MER, $183.15, cremedelamer.com . Skin caviar liquid lift by LA PRAIRIE, $475, shoplaprairie.com . Caresse veloutee moisturizing and antioxidant face cream by PULPE DE VIE, pulpedevie.fr . One Step Color Corrector by STILA, $36, stilacosmetics.com . Regenerist microsculpting cream moisturiser by OLAY, $24.61, olay.com . Advanced night repair by ESTEE LAUDER, $96, esteelauder.com . Hydro boost gel by NEUTROGENA, $22, neutrogena.com . RevitaLift intensive night repair by L’OREAL, $40.29, loreal.com . Photo Defense anti-photo aging daily skin protector by CELLCEUTICALS, $45, cellceuticalskincare.com . Age control day moisturizer by AHAVA, $58, ahavaus.com
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Fresh aloe soap by LEVER 2000, $5.91 for 3, lever2000.com . White beauty bar 1/4 moisturizer by DOVE, $13.76 for 2, dove.us . Bubble bar soap by LUSH, $6.95, lushusa.com . Cedarwood soap by L’OCCITANE, $10, usa.loccitane.com . Baby soap by JOHNSON’S, $1.99, johnsonsbaby. com
Best Hard Soaps Still the most common type of soap around, hard soaps are often the go-to for meticulous and convenient bathing (the, “I have to drop the kids to school” type of time involved), without the aid of a loofah or scrub. Skin experts state that bar soaps leave no room for bacteria (hallelujah, all you germaphobes) because it contains no water, compared to its liquid counterpart, which is mostly made of H2O. When choosing bars, look for moisturizing and anti-bacterial qualities to keep your and your family’s skin healthy and cleaner.
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Best Lipsticks
The history of lipstick is as rich as the colors they are available in today, but the earliest lipsticks of the world were created out of crushed gemstones, dyes, and even insects. Today, the main ingredients of lipsticks include mineral oil, olive oil, emollients, petroleum, and other organic and inorganic pigments. Nice to know, right? But more importantly, lipstick makes us look a bit more Angelina Jolie-esque (and by default, you are now married to Brad Pitt). With the right shade, our faces are brightened and transformed from sweet momma to husband temptress. Imagine you and your pearly whites flashing from your fuchsia or red rouged lips, LOLing over a mock-tail or two with your other mommy girlfriends while the babies play in a nearby Gymboree before the older kids and the hubby come home from school and work, and clacking your high heels with a sexy swagger on your hip while walking to your car. Ahh, the power of lip color—our very own magic wand. A mother can dream, can’t we?
While you are proclaiming peace with your lips, be careful to have it even more fully in your heart. —Francis of Assisi
Rouge allure velvet by CHANEL, $59.98, chanel.com . Rouge aromatique lipcolour in Mitsouko by GUERLAIN, $35, guerlain.com . Professional slim lip stick in Romantic Pink by BE’BE’CO . Half ‘n half lipstick in Amplified by MAC, $25, maccosmetics.com . Just Bitten Kissable balm stain in Precious by revlon, $8.99, revlon.com . Color balm lipstick in Vivienne by STILA, $4.50, stilacosmetics.com . ColorStay Ultimate Suede in Runway by REVLON, $25, revlon.com . Rouge in love lip stick by LANCOME, $42, lancome-usa.com . ColorStay Ultimate Suede in Muse by REVLON, $9.99, revlon.com . Viva Glam lipstick in Frost by MAC, $23.89, maccosmetics.com . Lip stick in Cheating Heart by ESTEE LAUDER, $24.50, esteelauder.com . Pure matte lipstick in Allure by NARS, $26, narscosmetics. com
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Best Lotions (part deux) Because we cannot stress moisturization enough, we needed to include these awardees for your consideration. The skin is the largest organ of our body, after all.
The finest clothing made is a person’s own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this. — Mark Twain
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Skin rescuer stress-minimizing daily hydrator by KIEHL’S, $40, kiehls.com . Mom & Baby Lotion body moisturizer by L’OCCITANE, $24, usa. loccitane.com . Organic Olive all over body moisturiser by GREENSCAPE, $12.99, somersetdistributionusa.com . Organics Cocoa Butter Massage Lotion for Stretch Marks by PALMER’S, $11.99, palmers.com . Body lift cellulite control by CLARINS, $68, clarinsusa.com . Argan nourishing butter by FRUITS & PASSION, $12, fruits-passion.com
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Plant soothing blemish balm by OTTIE, ottie.co.kr . Photoready bronzer in Bronzed and Chic #100 by REVLON, $12.99, revlon.com . Even better powder makeup SPF 25 in Cream Beige by CLINIQUE, $25, clinique.com . Colorstay Whipped creme makeup in Ivory by REVLON, $13.99, revlon.com . Actively Correcting & Beautifying BB Cream in Natural by KIEHL’S, $37, kiehls.com . Outlaw blush by NARS, $29, narscosmetics.com . Sheer matte foundation in medium 1.5 by NARS, $72.60, narscosmetics.com . Real shine blusher #13 by BE’BE’CO . Poudre Libre in Banane (hypoallergenic loose powder) by T. LECLERC, $49.99, t-leclerc.com . Matte fluid foundation in Beige Ambre Mat by T. LECLERC, $82.50, t-leclerc.com . Kate Winslet Golden Hat Foundation blush by LANCOME, $24.50, lancome-usa.com
Best Face Makeup For the often glam-deprived that we are, we need coverage and color. There are different types of foundation— ranging from sheer coverage (with minimal tint or pigment) to full, which covers birthmarks, blemishes, and other imperfections (hello, sun spots and early warning signs of warts). Use blush sparingly on the apples of your cheeks and the bridge of your nose to achieve (AKA fake) that sunkissed look, and to add contour to your cheekbones.
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Firming eye gel by TAMMY FENDER, $72, tammyfender. com . Idealist cooling eye illuminator by ESTEE LAUDER, $62, esteelauder.com . Advanced marine biology eye gel by LA PRAIRIE, $140, laprairie.com . Light brightening eye roll-on anti-bags anti-dark circles by GARNIER, $10.99, garnierusa.com . Love at First Sight cooling eye mask by PULPE DE VIE, pulpedevie. com . Age control eye cream by AHAVA, $46, ahavaus.com
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Best Eye Care The skin around our eyes are around 10 times thinner than that on our face (what the?), so the first sign of aging usually appears here (whoop-dee-doo). Take care of this delicate area by applying creams or roll-ons that refresh, rehydrate, and rejuvenate your skin for a fresh-faced look.
Sublime cleansing oil shampoo by KERASTASE, $42, kerastase-usa. com . Olive oil formula with vitamin E smoothing shampoo for shiny hair by PALMER’S, $4.99, palmers. com . 2-in-1 moisturizing shampoo and conditioner by FINESSE, $3.99, finessehaircare.com . Infinite volume shampoo by JONATHAN, $18, jonathanproduct.com . Pure luxury intense moisture shampoo by RICH, $9.33, richhaircare.com
Best Shampoos There is nothing that gives away the kind of day you had more than unkempt hair. I can always tell if one is going on a school or grocery run, or one is just going somewhere familiar with the kids by the effort we mothers put into styling our hair. Treat your tresses to a daily shampoo that isn’t harsh on your hair and scalp. Especially for those who have colored or dyed hair, invest in a shampoo and conditioner that will repair the damage done by various treatments and look for ingredients like proteins, oil extracts from nuts or fruits (they act as moisturizers), and veer away from chemically-charged products that may leave hair dry.
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Eyeshadow in Natural by MAYBELLINE, $18.69, maybelline.com . ColorStay 16-hour eye shadow in Seductive by REVLON, $7.49, revlon.com . Veluxe Pearlfusion shadow in Brownluxe by MAC, $89.99, maccosmetics.com . Virtuose Drama in Drama Brown by LANCOME, $26, lancome-usa.com . Waterproof mascara in Noir by CHANEL, $49.50, chanel.com . Eye pencil by GUERLAIN, $51.15, guerlain.com . Countless color pigments by STILA, $22, stilacosmetics.com . Long wear luminous eyeshadow in Vision by CHANEL, $59.40, chanel.com . Long-wear gel eyeliner in Black ink by BOBBI BROWN, $31.99, bobbibrowncosmetics.com . Eye liner in Noir by LAURA MERCIER,$24, lauramercier.com . Double extension curl by L’OREAL, $10.95, loreal.com . Eye lash curler by SHISEIDO, $18.99, shiseido.com . Eye shadow in Ymal by NARS, $24, narscosmetics.com . False eye lashes by MAC, $20.51, maccosmetics.com . Smoky shadow stick in Volcanic by REVLON, $8.99, revlon.com . Brow perfector by NARS, $24, narscosmetics.com . Long-wear cream shadow stick in Vanilla by BOBBI BROWN, $38.95, bobbibrowncosmetics.com . Auto eye liner pencil in Brown by OTTIE, ottie.co.kr
Best Eye Make-up
Eyes are truly the windows to our soul (or at least good eye make up helps you take a better profile avatar on Facebook without having to widen your eyes in every photo op to make you look like your doe-eyed teenage self). These tools coax your peepers into instant perkiness as if they were done up by pro make up artists. Depending on the occasion, choose colors that would go well with a PTA meeting or a night out with the hubby. Think: nude and lighter brown colors for day; darker brown, gray, and black, smokey for night. Eyeliner color and thickness usually dependent again on time of day. Pretty self-explanatory.
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melissa francis
The child star unveils how an extreme version of “Tiger Mothering” has impacted her acting career as a child in a personal memoir that gives us an exclusive look into her struggles, challenges, and triumphs What was it like growing up while working on Little House on the Prairie?
Playing Michael Landon’s daughter on Little House on the Prairie was a magical existence, charge to experience. By the time I arrived in 1980, the show had been on the air for seven years and they had it down to a science. After all, kids have to be happy to perform well. To a child, Michael Landon was a cross between God and Santa Claus. He was larger than life. He’d put a frog in his mouth or a live tarantula under his hat just to shock us into laughter. At the same time, growing up a child actor taught me the value of hard work, the reward of a job well done, and the pride of earning my own keep. I worked steadily from the time I landed my first Johnson and Johnson Baby Shampoo commercial before I was a year old, until the time I left for my freshman year at Harvard University. Like any career, my success ebbed and flowed, but I can’t imagine a more fanciful childhood, though I did eventually make the choice to see what else was out there for me, and that lead to TV news. My life
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in front of the camera was a fantasy, but behind the scenes my success was fueled by an extreme Hollywood version of a Tiger Mom, who relentlessly demanded perfection from my sister and I at every turn.
mother’s blinding spotlight of ambition, she shrunk back into the shadows of our family and felt terrible about herself.
When did you realize that your mother was being a “stage mom,” and how did you deal with this?
One of the biggest challenges was the public reaction. As soon as the episodes began to air, I couldn’t walk through the mall without attracting glances and whispers. The attention was flattering of course, but for an 8-year old, overwhelming too. I remember the sensation, feeling someone’s eyes sweep over me then get stuck on my face, then a shock of recognition before the person would poke whomever was with them and hurriedly whisper—and the awakening would start all over again.
Having a Stage Mother cut both ways. When we were working together as a team, we were unbeatable. My mother sunk all her energy, time and might into my success, and I felt lucky to have someone who was willing to forgo their own life to make me a star. When I got older, I felt controlled and realized I had very little agency and choice in my life as a result of my mother living vicariously through me. Ultimately, she balked when I wanted to see what else was out there for me. But I was the lucky one, without question. For my sister, as you read in Diary of a Stage Mother’s Daughter, my mother’s parenting had a much more destructive impact. When my sister was unable to shine in my
What were the biggest challenges appearing in the world’s most famous prime-time soap opera?
How has your mother been playing a role in your career before and up to now? Describe your relationship now with your mom.
My family comes to a shocking and explosive end at the conclusion of Diary of a Stage Mother’s Daughter, and my
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...a fire-breathing mom can produce a champion, or she can burn her child to death. I think it’s possible that if a parent pours all his or her ambition and drive into a child, that child can be a star.
mother hasn’t been a part of my life for more than a decade. That was her decision, and the realization that she probably never really loved either of us was painful but ultimately freeing. Now that I’ve written the book, so many people have reached out to me to share their stories, and I realize now that every family has a dramatic and heart-wrenching story—every person has suffered through their own trials. We could all write a book! But rather than carrying that pain and letting it paralyze us, I suggest it’s a richness of experience to draw upon. I know how not to behave with my own family. I took control of my history and chose to take a different path into the future. I’d love for anyone who reads the book to feel like they can learn from a challenged past and have a joyful future. You can choose to be happy. It’s never too late. What important values did she instill in you, despite being a “stage mom”?
My mother would never accept anything less than perfection. I remember
getting an A- in AP Chemistry and she threw the report card in my face, saying that I “almost got a B+”. There are clearly a lot of downsides to that type of pressure. I’ve had a hard time retraining myself not to lay in bed at night awake, thinking about all that I’m not achieving. The positive side is that I have a strong work ethic. I take pride in every task I undertake and I’m certainly not afraid of hard work. What made you decide to write the book? What are the differences between the way you were raised by your mother, and the way you are raising your children? What important lessons did you learn from your mom?
I started writing Diary when Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother reached critical mass. The idea of parents emulating that model terrified me. As a product of an extreme version of a Tiger Mom, I wanted to warn parents that while that unrelenting type of parenting may make some children disciplined and focused, it’s wildly destructive to others, robbing
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When we were working together as a team, we were unbeatable. My mother sunk all her energy, time and might into my success, and I felt lucky to have someone who was willing to forgo their own life to make me a star.
bc-mag.com them of their confidence and identity when they can’t please the Tiger and sending them into a devastating spiral. What do you think is the proper way to support and push your child to succeed?
I would never tell someone how to parent, but would at least suggest that each child is born unique and needs a different approach. I have two young sons, 2 and 5 years old, who respond completely different to the same circumstance. Tiger Mothering is extremely dangerous as my story demonstrates. Any parenting advice you can give to other potential “stage moms”?
I say in the book that a fire-breathing mom can produce a champion, or she can burn her child to death. I think it’s possible that if a parent pours all his or her ambition and drive into a
child, that child can be a star. But that intensity can also destroy the child’s self-worth if they don’t live up to your expectations. I watched that happen to my sister. I hope potential stage moms will read Diary of a Stage Mother’s Daughter, and heed the warning. How do you strike a balance between your job as a host, and role as a mother and wife?
Being a working mom means always feeling guilty. Whatever I’m doing, there’s something else that I could be doing. If I’m at work, I feel guilty that I’m not the one at the curb picking my boys up from school and if I go home early to be with them, I inevitably get emails about work or writing assignments I should have finished. I always tell myself that I’m just one person, INTERVIEW B y V al e ri e A n n e d e l C astillo
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doing the best I can, but I have a hard time not feeling overwhelmed. I make my time with my kids count, and I put away the Blackberry no matter what. My time with them for dinner, homework, bath and reading for bed is sacred. Like every working mom, I wonder if I should hang it up and stay home full time, but my sons are so proud of what I do! This week, my son’s kindergarten class is coming to FOX to learn about weather forecasting. My older boy, Thompson, tells everyone that his mother does the news and is “an author.” His pride makes me smile. My husband is a wonderful parent, and that makes a huge difference. He knows more moms at school drop off than I do! He’s very involved at my sons’ school, and he’s right on top of what they are doing. We are, without question, 50-50 partners. bc
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and fine independent retailers