The Story Of Sara

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Yes, I was respected and even feared; yes, people listened to me, when I spoke. Yes, I was a successful and useful person in our society and that was reflected very well in my salary. But, I was somehow still frightened, anxious and tense. Why? I don’t know. What made me frightened, anxious and tense? I don’t know either. I still don’t know. I achieved everything I wanted to achieve and yet I was still a sorrowful creature! My God, I couldn’t be more successful, could I! After all, I was at the top of the Psychiatric Department! There was nowhere else to go! I had money and really influential, important, intellectual friends. I had a beautiful, luxurious villa. I mean, look how at how far I had come from where I started my life – which was in an awful, filthy part of town, and look where I had reached! And, yes, reader, I was still unhappy. I never had that sense of serenity that Sanji or Omar had! And I really hated myself for never being able to achieve that state of mind! I often wonder how I will die? Will I die in pain? Will the pain last long, or will the pain be for a short time, and then I’ll die? Or, maybe I’ll die peacefully in my sleep? Can it be possible, that I’ll be having a dream and then I die? Imagine that! My dream being interrupted by my death! Will I die at my home or at hospital? Will I fall in and out of consciousness, as I die? Will I be alone or will someone be near me, when I die? Will I be scared, or will I accept my dying with serenity? What if I wake up and I find myself alive in my tomb? If someone is near me, will I feel a need to say my ‘last’ words? Will anyone care to hear my last words? Do I have any answers to these anxieties of mine? I just don’t know.


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