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Quality Concrete & Masonry Work Walls, Driveways, Patios, Entries, BBQ's, Fireplaces, Custom Stone & Brick, Stamp Concrete - Lic #506342 www.rwmasonry.com 760 788-6720
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Ground Pounders Flooring Hardwood, Tile, Carpet I install every job. Not expensive, just good. We are in Oceanside. Glad to bring Samples & Pictures Lic#770668
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JOHN the GOLD HANDYMAN I am good at Painting, Plumbing, Dry Wall Repairs, Pergo, Carpet and Tile and lots more - 27 years experience. CALL NOW FOR FREE ESTIMATE 738.7493
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6. No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse. 7. The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all of your many other errors. 8. Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot. 9. A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents' luck. 10. It is surprisingly easy to hole a fifty foot putt... For a 10 on that hole. 11. Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut. 12. Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts. 13. still away.
It's not a gimme if you're
14. The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree. 15. You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a two inch branch 90% of the time.
‘Chuckles’ Cont. from Page 2
18. When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again. 19. Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe. 20. If you want to hit a 7 iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.
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17. Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.
5. The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.
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16. If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
4. If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.
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3. When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.
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HOME GENERAL MAINTENANCE REMODELS Bath/Kitchen Designs, Tile Installation, Electircal, Paint, Fences, Concrete. Lic#33509 760.484.1302 760.529.1239
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21.
To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his back-swing by his handicap; i.e., back-swing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing = 300 mph. 22. There are two things you can learn by stopping your back-swing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove. 23.
Hazards attract; fairways repel.
24. A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours. 25. If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint. 26. It's easier to get up at 6:00 AM to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the yard. 27. If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life. 28. Golf balls are like eggs. They're white. They're sold by the dozen. And you need to buy fresh ones each week. 29. It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.
30. If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight (or worse).It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on
a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and belch if you are performing Brain Surgery!
Death Notices Jill D. Gallatin-Glatzel, 62, of Escondido CA., passed away on April 17, 2012. J. Guadalupe Guerrero Soria, 69, of Escondido, CA., passed away on May 19, 2012. Donald Sander, 83, of San Marcos, CA., passed away on May 24, 2012.
by California Funeral Alternatives Escondido and Poway
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