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Page 2 - August 09, 2012 ‘Rocky Mountain Letters’ Cont. from Page 1 and not means of fire I in the course of a few days fortunately fell in with a party of Indians who treated me with great humanity and tarried with them four days and then fell in with a trader who conducted me within 350 miles of the fronteers he being able to give me but little aid I tarried but three days when I started with provition consisting of only 3/4 of a pound of Buffaloe suet and arived at the fronteers in six days were by eating too much and starvation I was taken with a severe spell of sickness which all but took my life. I here met with a second Boat and ascended the Masuri the second time and arived at the mouth of Mussel Shell on the latter end of November where I wintered with thirteen others here was a remarkable escape of my scalp as two larg parteys of Indians winterd within twenty miles of us and our better enemys the blackfeet this place is in latitude 48. the River froze to the emmence thickness of four feet and did not brake up until the fourth of April and we embarked in Canoes on the 6th and on the 11th I was severely wounded by a wiping stick

Give Us This Day Our Daily Chuckle

This week, a compendium of wit, wisdom and neat stuff you can tell at parties. Enjoy! The Lecture An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?" The man replies, "That would be my wife." ••••• No one believes seniors . . . .

Dear and Respected Brother, After I left Philadelphia, I was taken with a severe spell of rheumatism which continued with me for about two months. I arrived in Illinois on the 1st of July in the same year, where I remained until March following, when I took my deparure for Missouri, from thence immediately entered on an expedition of Henry and Ashly, bound for the Rocky Mountain and Columbia River. In this enterprize I consider it unnecessary to give you all the particulars appertaining to my travell I left St. Louis on April 3d, 1822, under command of Andrew

Henry with a boat and one hundred men and arrived at Council Bluffs on May 1st; from thence we ascended the river to Cedar Fort, about five hundred miles. Here our provisions being exhausted, and no prospect of game near at hand, I concluded to make the best of my way back in company with eight others, and unfortunately was separated from them. By being too accessary in this misfortune, I was left in the Prarie without arms or any means of making fire, and half starved to death. Now taking into consideration my situation, about three hundred and fifty miles from my frontier Post, this would make the most cruel heart sympathise for me. The same day I met with three Indians, whom I hailed, and on my advancing they prepared for action by presenting their arms, though I approached them without hesitation, and gave them my hand. They conducted me to their village, where I was treated with the greatest humanity imaginable. There I remained four days, during which time they had many religious ceremonies too tedious to insert, after which I met with some traders who conducted me as far down as the ? Village - this being two hundred miles from the Post. I departed alone as before, with only about 1/4 lb. suet, and in six days reached the

Post where I met with Gen. Ashley, on a second expedition, with whom I entered for the second time, and arrived at the mouth of Yellow Stone about the middle of October. This is one of the most beautiful situations I ever saw; from this I immediately embarked for the mouth of Muscle Shell, in company with twenty one others and shortly after our arrival, eight men returned to the former place. Here the game being very scarce, the prospect was very discouraging, though after a short time the Buffaloes flocked in in great abundance; likewise the Mountain Goats; the like I have never seen since. Twenty six of the latter were slain in the compass of 100 yards square, in the space of two hours. During the winter the Buffaloes came into our camp, one of which I was induced to charge upon by our company without fire arms, at first with a tomahawk only. After approaching very close, the Bull prepared for action with the most dismal look and sprang at me. When within one leap of me, I let fly the tomahawk, which caused him to retreat. After returning to our cabin, I was induced to make the second

everyone thinks they are senile.

Sally said, “No.”

"and I'll get him in the course."

An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had returned to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they had shared, where Andy had carved I love you, Sally.

Andy said, “She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic.”

So, his father sends the dog and $1,000.

Sally said, “Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.”

About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.

being shot through both knees which brought me to the ground this disabled me for the springs hunt and allmost for everI shall now bid farewell and desire you to remember my best respects to all my enquiring friends particular J. Taylor J. McCalla, C. Morris, and J. Mather inform them I am in good health and spirits I remain with high respect your moste particular friend &c. Daniel T. Potts Daniel Potts Letter 2 Rocky Mountains, July 16, 1826

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money - fifty thousand dollars! Andy said, “We’ve got to give it back.” Sally said, “Finders keepers.” She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic. The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on their door. “Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?”

The agents turned to Andy and began to question him. One said: “Tell us the story from the beginning.” Andy said, “Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday .... The first police officer turned to his partner and said, “We’re outta here!” "Ole Blue" A young cowboy from Texas goes off to college. Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all his money .... he calls home. "Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Missoula that will teach our dog, Ole' Blue how to talk!"

‘‘Rocky Mountain Letters’ Cont. on Page 3

"So how's Ole' Blue doing son?" his father asks. "Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this -- they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!" "Read!?" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?" "Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog.

"That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ole' Blue in that program?"

When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.

"Just send him down here with $1,000," the young cowboy says

‘Chuckles’ Cont. on Page 14

The Paper August 9, 2012  

August 9, 2012 issue. News and entertainment for north San Diego county.

The Paper August 9, 2012  

August 9, 2012 issue. News and entertainment for north San Diego county.