The Paper • Page 2 • December 26, 2019
American Humor vs. British Humour Cont. from Page 1
Loud gasps were heard sprinkled about the room, and the shocked faces seemed frozen. And I could tell, they never knew the truth of what I had just uttered. “Bob Hope was English by birth – not American.” I paused, then slowly proceeded as if navigating through a minefield of opposing opinions regarding the debate of American vs British humor: “English-American stand-up comedian, Bob Hope, was born in London, England in 1903. His parents emigrated to America in 1908. He became an American citizen in 1920 at age 17. In the case of Bob Hope, he was born abroad and then assimilated into an American.
For me, the lesson to be learned here was not really so much about if Bob Hope was really an American or British, but rather, how much should we ‘know’ about any subject before we form an opinion on it?
Both nations (Great Britain and the United States) are increasingly asking this same question in a friendly, but competitive way. So much so, that a series of actual television
Give Us This Day Our Daily Chuckle This week, a compendium of wit, wisdom and neat stuff you can tell at parties. Enjoy! Spread the Stupidity
Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. Only in America .......do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. Only in America ............do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight..
Specials broadcast from England have already descended upon this fun query, resulting in a series of comedy competitions between American and British comedians, going head-to-head. All in jolly good fun, of course.
Comedy competition was a steady diet for us Americans in the form of NBC’s “Last Comic Standing,” which ran nine full seasons. It seemed a natural evolution that our British kinfolk on the other side of the pond would wish to test our funny-bone mettle, as well. Against their own vanguard of comedy giants, on their own soil.
Are British comedians as funny as, say, George Burns, Red Skelton, Rodney Dangerfield, Richard Pryor, Jonathan Winters, Phyllis Diller, or Flip Wilson? Or, what about the more recent crop of American funnymen such as Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Carrey, Chris Rock, Will Ferrell, Steven Wright, Eddie Murphy, or Dave Chappelle? And it seems difficult to find anyone more entertaining and funny than current American comedy giant, Cedric the Entertainer, the consummate storyteller. Or the mighty Jeff Dunham (quite possibly the greatest
comedy-ventriloquist act of all time)? It was Jeff Dunham who made a funny differential between the British and Americans: “I chased skirts all over the world – till I got to Scotland! Boy, was I surprised!”
And yet, we Americans often only see our own side of the world, with reckless disregard as to what may actually exist elsewhere. Beyond our sight and ears. After all, it was the great Roman politician, Cicero (106 BC – 43 BC) who warned us all: “He who only knows his side of the mountain, knows little of that.”
The British have given us some remarkable comedic gems, past to present: Tommy Cooper, Peter Sellers, Benny Hill, and John Cleese of Monte Python fame. And let’s not forget English-born Leslie Townes Hope (1903-2003), born in the suburban district of southeastern London, better known as Bob Hope. Or 58-year-old Ricky Gervais, my personal British favorite.
The comparative assessment of comedy, in this article, will embrace all its varied expressions, to include not only standup, but also films, TV sitcoms, slapstick, impressionists, satirists, political commentators, etc. This is comedy-humor in its broadest, pos-
Only in America .......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
EVER WONDER ...
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
I like this one! If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)....in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while. ••••• A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, "I've had enough and have left you...don't bother coming after me" Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.
After a short while the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom. She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note. After a few minutes he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone...
sible form.
That the British have a formidable, razor-sharp wit is universally agreed upon. And they have the weight of history behind them to prove it. As far back as Shakespeare’s Comedies, and even long before that, the British were undisputed masters of comedy, and satire, and irony -- their quintessential armament and the fodder for their cannons. No other culture – to this time – has surpassed the profound depth, skill, and wisdom of Shakespeare’s Comedies. Not even the Father of Comedy, the great Aristophanes (c. 446386), can eclipse the English Bard from Stratford-uponAvon in his domain of humor.
However, many American humorists and comics are not impressed. Famous American comedy magician, Penn Jillette, of “Penn and Teller” fame deflated the great British tradition: “British humor is like pompous farting.” But, in the face of history, and up to the present, the British have over-shot the necessity of having to prove their comedic mettle. To anyone. The ferocious tale of the tape can render anyone who is willing to
American Humor vs. British Humour Cont. on Page 3
"She's finally gone...yeah I know, about bloody time, I'm coming to see you, put on that sexy French nightie. I love you...can't wait to see you...we'll do all the naughty things you like." He hung up, grabbed his keys and left.
She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed. Seething with rage and with tears in her eyes she grabbed the note to see what he wrote ... "I can see your feet. We're outta bread. Be back in five minutes." ••••• Deer Tale... Having been around Deer and Deer hunting all my life, I can just see this going on in vivid color ... hilarious! Educated Farmer:
I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not
Chuckles Cont. on Page 5