The Paper • Page 2 • December 01, 2016
Marilyn Monroe Came to Town Cont. from Page 1
Wilder’s house and asked Mrs. Wilder to please give her husband the following message: “To go *%@! himself!!” After a brief pause, she delicately added, “And my warmest personal regards to you, Audrey.”
It is now almost sixty years since the blond siren brought herself, luggage, and personal mental baggage of another sort, to the world-famous Coronado hotel. It was her mental baggage which wreaked havoc at the famed Hotel Del movie set: her pregnancy at the time, her bouts of insomnia, marital problems, drug dependencies, and so on, all went on parade. And all of which took its toll on cast and crew, all the way up to director,Billy Wilder, who often spoke through both sides of his mouth. While shooting was in progress, Wilder praised Marilyn to the media for being congenial and professional, while in reality he was as nervous as a hemophiliac running naked through a razor blade factory. In short, Wilder was at wits’ end.
Marilyn often missed her lines, necessitating as many as 40 to 70 more takes, to get just one scene right. Since Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon were in drag, such delays and retakes made them stand around in painful women’s high heels for extended periods of time. When the agony became unbearable, both Curtis and
Give Us This Day Our Daily Chuckle This week, a compendium of wit, wisdom and neat stuff you can tell at parties. Enjoy! Teaching Math Over 50 Years
1. Teaching Math In 1950s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? 2. Teaching Math In 1970s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit? 3. Teaching Math In 1980s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit ? Yes or No. 4. Teaching Math In 1990s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber
Lemmon would have to kick off their shoes in desperation and soak their painful feet while Marilyn continued to drag (pun intended) the scenes out. Artistically, Tony Curtis felt his performances suffered through multiple takes in order to get one good scene out of the actress.
Not all was chaos and angst during the filming. There were occasionally lighter moments, though not enough to justify the pitfalls. On one amusing scenario, three-time Oscar-winning costume designer, Orry George Kelly, was busy measuring Jack Lemmon, Tony Curtis, and Marilyn Monroe for their respective dresses on the set of Some Like It Hot. When measuring Marilyn, the outspoken Australian-American designer quipped to Marilyn: “You know, Marilyn, Tony’s got a better looking ass than yours.” According to Kelly, she looked at him, opened her blouse and said, “Yeah, but he doesn’t have **** like these!”
The film’s storyline of two men having to dress up as women after witnessing a murder by a Chicago mob was, itself, a most daring concept for its time. When the film was first released it was quickly banned in the state of Kansas with the explanation that “Cross-dressing is too disturbing for Kansans.” The film found further condemnation from the Catholic organization, “National League of Decency,” which stated that Some Like It Hot was, simply, too hot for acceptance. It was found “morally objectionable” and “promoted homosexuality, lesbianism, and transvestism.” for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20. 5. Teaching Math In the 2000s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: "How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes?" (There are no wrong answers. Feel free to express your feelings, e.g, anger, anxiety, inadequacy, helpless-ness, etc.)
Should you require de-briefing at conclusion of exam there are counsellors available to assist you to adjust back into the real world. The Real World
Please excuse the four-letter words toward the end of the following story. I would have deleted them, but the story just wouldn't be the same. A young Jewish couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well," said her mother, "so how was the honeymoon?"
"Oh mama," she replied, "The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic!" Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started
In the rearview mirror, San Diego’s most famous film and cast ensemble were almost dramatically altered. Comedian Jerry Lewis was first offered the role of Daphne, which eventually went to Jack Lemmon. Lewis demurred over the concept of having to dress in women’s clothing. Then, Danny Kaye and Bob Hope were considered for the roles that would finally go to Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon, respectively. Even Marilyn’s character of “Sugar Kane Kowalezk” was first planned for 27year-old actress, singer, and dancer, Mitzi Gaynor. A 32-year-old Monroe would finally fill the bill as 25-yearold “Sugar.”
During the film’s shooting at the Hotel Del, Marilyn Monroe’s marital conflict with third and final husband, Arthur Miller, would manifest in further eccentric behavior by the actress. Miller had accompanied her to the film’s location shots, but all was not well behind closed doors. Even after Miller departed to New York, the residual ill-feelings stayed on, amplifying Marilyn’s mercurial moods during the movie shoot. The lustfulflames of romance which once burned between Monroe and Miller had now simmered to a level of cooling embers. Marilyn’s recently-publicized archive letters reflect the initial attraction between herself and Miller that more resembled carnal lust over romancelove, the former being more a sprint than a marathon. Their union seemed all dazzle with smoke and mirrors, with little or no reality of substance or foundation.
using the most horrible language--- things I'd never heard before! I mean all these awful four-letter words! You've got to take me home!! PLEASE MAMA!"
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful? What four-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter. "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! JUST COME GET ME, PLEASE!" "Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible four-letter words."
Sobbing, the bride gasped, "Oh, Mama, he used words like DUST, WASH, IRON, and COOK!" "I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said her mother. American vs Japanese
On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week, whereas a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year.
This is upsetting news to most of my friends, as they had no idea they were Japanese. The Baby Ward . . .
A pregnant woman gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, “Ma’am you had twins! a boy and a girl. Your brother came
Miller, himself, would later acknowledge, “She was a whirling light to me then.”
A recently released archive letter from Arthur Miller to Marilyn Monroe in their early stages of romance convulses with separated lust: “I will kiss you and hold you close to me and sensational things will then happen.” The Pulitzer Prize-winning author of “Death of a Salesman,” often painted lustful scenarios with words for Marilyn Monroe, filling her with great expectations. In one passage, which was recently gleaned from Monroe’s personal letters, Miller writes, “And as you stand there cooking breakfast, I will kiss your neck and your back and the back of your legs, and the eggs will burn.” The letter pre-dated their marriage. Marilyn had a torrid romance with Arthur Miller prior to making him her third husband and converting to Judaism (Miller was of the Jewish faith).
It seemed with Marilyn that she only knew and had cursory love, obliquely feeling its orbit of influence, as opposed to directly experiencing it face-to-face. Even in her first marriage to James Dougherty in 1942 and which endured over four years, never did she feel connected and genuinely immersed in true love. Her personal letters give a rare, but sad, insight to her psyche at the time. “My
Marilyn Monroe Came to Town Cont. on Page 3
in and named them.”
The woman thinks to herself, “No, not my brother … he’s an idiot!” She asks the doctor, “Well, what’s the girl’s name?” “Denise,” answers the doctor.
“Wow, that’s not a bad name, I like it!” she exclaims. “And what’s the boy’s name?” “Denephew,” says the doctor Cliff-isms
Cliff Claven “Cliff-isms” – On the sitcom CHEERS/NBC/1982-93 John Ratzenberger played the verbose know-it-all postal worker Cliff Claven. Some examples of Cliff ’s veritable cornucopia of wisdom: They did a study comparing postal workers to chimpanzees. They proved chimps were 32% slower. Of course, they were better with public relations. There’s no rule against postal worker dating women; it just works out that way.
It’s a little-known fact that the smartest animal is the pig. Scientists say if pigs had thumbs and a language, they could be trained to do simple manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service, and at their retirement dinner, you can eat them. Due to the shape of the North American elk’s esophagus, even if it could speak, it could not pronounce the word lasagna. Basketball was invented by the Celtics.
Chuckles Cont. on Page 8