Family
Dear Dads
take Y time to be a dad today!
ou’ve seen the ads… A father shows up at his home exhausted, his only desire is to unwind after a long day at work, and he sees his children jumping rope outside. His first inclination is to continue up the stairs, kiss his wife, and sit down in front of the television. But instead, he puts his briefcase down and jumps in with the kids. How about the father who is having a tea party with his daughter? The footage starts off panning an arm riddled with tattoos and grime. The camera continues up his arm and to his fingers where they are being painted red by the tiniest of hands. The shot pulls back to unfold the image of a father, sitting with his princess-like child giving him a manicure while they dine with a tea set. Both of these ads conclude with the simple and somewhat poignant statement that we started this article with: Take time to be a Dad. You have to ask yourself, “Why would the United States government spend time, energy and money to encourage American dads to interact with their children?” Interestingly enough, the answer to this question, just like the governmental mandate at the end of each ad, is simple, yet highly profound. Research shows that 34% of American children live without their biological fathers.[1] Did you catch that? I’ll state it again, but this time with a dramatic pause… a little over one third of our children live without one out of only two people that gave them life. The effects of an absentee father can translate into hurdles for the rest of adolescence and beyond. For instance, studies have proven that children raised in fatherless homes are five times more likely to be poor.[2] Studies also suggest that “father closeness” serves as a protective factor against the use and abuse of alcohol, cigarettes, marijuana and hard drugs. It doesn’t take long to realize that fathers play a preeminent role in raising their kids, and this role can and should be one that provides meaning for children. You know, all of this “fathers must be present in the lives of their children” talk sounds familiar. In fact, I think I read it in a book once - one that was written thousands of years ago. Ephesians 6:4 states, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”[3] In this passage, Paul is instructing the Ephesians with God’s truth that fathers should parent in a way that doesn’t create resentment in their children.[4] Sadly, as a therapist, I can tell you that child and teen resentment is something that I see multiple times a day. Bitterness stems from physical abuse, emotional abuse and neglect, or from parents simply not following God’s call to love their kids as they love themselves (Mk 12:31).[5] If bitterness festers, it can become pervasive and bleed over into every aspect of a child’s life. Fathers, how are you doing in this area? How are you bringing up your kids? If there is a young person in your life that calls you Dad, and you believe you could adjust the way you are instructing and raising them without resentment, you have the ability to right this wrong. You. Not your wife, not your pastor, not your child’s youth pastor, not their teacher or coach. You have the ability to steer this proverbial parenting ship in the right direction. The onus is on you, fathers! If you find yourself as a father that is present in the home and taking an active role in your child’s life, please keep doing what you’re doing. But know that you cannot remain static as a father; you should always strive to grow, learn and better yourself as a parent. Know that it is never too late and there is always hope. You can begin to take God-honoring steps in the direction of change. There are pastors, counselors, and godly peers that can assist you in these efforts. Being a father can be scary, intimidating and confusing. But put one foot in front of the other and just take time to be a dad today! Joshua Myers, M.A., LPC [1] http://www.fatherhood.gov/dads/being-a-dad/importance-of-being-a-father [2] http://www.fatherhood.gov/dads/being-a-dad/importance-of-being-a-father [3] NIV Quest Study Bible, Revised (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2003), 1681. [4] NIV Quest Study Bible, Revised (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2003), 1681. [5] NIV Quest Study Bible, Revised (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2003), 1457.
Pool and spa safety covers are an excellent way to keep young children from accidentally falling into the water. • •
Covers should be able to be removed quickly and easily in case of an emergency. Covers should be able to hold the weight of at least two adults and a child if a rescue is necessary.
Photo by Everest Road Photography
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