Austere LOTUS // Issue 21 by AUSTERE

ON THE COVER: PHOTOGRAPHER DIANA DIHAZE

AUSTERE an award-winning creative + marketing agency blueprinting iconic digital brands in tech, music, fashion + lifestyle.

PHOTOGRAPHER NAME, COMPANY/AGENCY / TITLE NAME, COMPANY/AGENCY

// ava n t- v i s ual m e et s avant - st r ateg y

LGBT, Fema le + Min o r ity Ow n ed Bu s in es s ~ Majority Diverse Staff

(by race and orientation)

creative gn ding / cont ent crea tion / prin t desi visu al iden tity deve lopm ent / bran

marketing hack ing / influ ence r cam paig ns stra tegy / paid adve rtisi ng / grow th

social tion tion / vide o edit ing / cont ent idea acco unt man agem ent / cont ent crea

web gn / web deve lopm ent lead gen stra tegy / ux+u i / web desi

meta tion worl d buil ding / virtu al prod uct crea stra tegy / nft crea tion / met aver se

SCHEDULE A STRATEGY CALL bit .ly/austerest rategy

EXPLORE OUR WEBSITE byaustere.com Austere LOTUS // 5

TABLE OF CONTENTS 6

CHAOS 18

The House, Poem

Sincerely, Flourished, KRR Designs

We D o n’ t M a k e E x c u s e s , We M a k e Re c o r d s , Eastside Music

Baby Storme

To Exist Without Justification, The Little Gay Shop

Iniko

Diving In, Argot Swim

The Muses Of Our Escape, Muses Escape

Censorship in New Media: A Discussion with TikTok Creator Stanzi Potenza

Diana Dihaze, Editorial

Steps, back and forth

Propelthemoon Photography, Editorial

Lost Lands Collections, Editorial

CREATION

REBIRTH

A Body, Poem

Sincerely, Flourished, KRR Designs

Baby Storme

We D o n’ t M a k e E x c u s e s , We M a k e Re c o r d s ,

Alexandra Levesseur, Art

Sincerely, Flourished, KRR Designs

We D o n’ t M a k e E x c u s e s , We M a k e Re c o r d s , Eastside Music

Eastside Music 86

To Exist Without Justification, The Little Gay Shop

Manifesting The Dream That Killed

Iniko

The Thought

To Exist Without Justification,

Baby Storme

The Little Gay Shop

Iniko

Diving In, Argot Swim

The Muses Of Our Escape, Muses Escape

Diving In, Argot Swim

Digital Blackface

Reclaiming Cottagecore

104

Lost Lands Collections, Editorial

106

No Universal Recipes

110

A Ye a r O f D i s a r r a y , P r o s e

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LOTUS BY AUSTERE

Y E A H B U T, W H Y ? : AN INTRODUCTION TO LOT U S & M E TA Z I N E™ Hey Natasha, I don’t know if you remember me, but you gave me the pleasure of writing for Austere for 3 issues in 2013/2014. I’ve loved watching your career grow and develop, especially the direction you’ve taken AUSTERE. I realize this is forward, but I’m interested in becoming a part of the team again (even on a volunteer basis). Let me know if this interests you and you’re open to connecting. This was the most forward I’ve been on social media, ever, much less about my career. Before I turned 30, I didn’t think I had to take my career growth into my own hands. I had stagnated for three years in a field I loved, but a position I would never break out of. If I’m honest, part of my decision to reach out to Natasha was desperation — the yearning for anything different and exciting — but the rest of it was a desire to dive in head-first to passion. Passion for storytelling. Passion for writing. Passion for taking a chance on passion. That’s why I came back to AUSTERE. The Metazine™ team is composed of a diverse set of contributors, but at its core is Natasha Brito, Olivia Fleming, and me, Patricia Stepaniuk. We all have a burning passion for “doing cool shit” and will stretch ourselves to the ends of the earth to do it. To give a brief history of AUSTERE for context: Natasha Brito and three talented collaborators built the Austere brand from the ground up through late nights and lots of coffee. The magazine featured incredible, but otherwise looked over people in music, fashion, and art; there was a high-end design aesthetic for the brand and every issue was heavily themed. It was a wild and free opportunity for our team to create without restrictions and inspire our followers along the way. Natasha made the decision to sunset the publication in 2018 to refocus her time and energy to a career at Sony Music and prepare for the launch of AUSTERE’s agency she’d longed to establish which proceeded to launch in mid 2019. In 2021, the time felt right for Natasha to bring back the publication and breathe new life into the zine space. “I love AUSTERE magazine; it’s my baby and if I could just do this forever, I probably would.

Austere LOTUS // 9

But I made the smartest decision of my career when I left Sony, to never work for someone else again.” Natasha has spent the last 2 years building a brand that builds other brands. AUSTERE Agency, with its ethos of “avant-visuals meets avant-strategy”, is an awardwinning full-service marketing and creative agency blueprinting iconic digital brands for the fashion, music, tech, and lifestyle industries. In resurrecting the magazine, Natasha saw that the industry was falling into tropes: the same-same type of beautiful people making the samesame aesthetic. “I really wanted to do something that was just creatively free. I was doing it for me, I was doing it for culture, I was doing it for the energy of a group of creatives that give a fuck about things that other people don’t. I did this to bring back the love that I had for the magazine.” This love and desire comes across as a basic need for Natasha, as affection and quality time are seen as basic needs for human development. To have this need met, to see her vision come to fruition, she needed to assemble a team of like-minded folks and willing contributors. Introduce Olivia Fleming: content strategist, musician, and just all-around a joy to be around. Olivia became a part of the AUSTERE family after applying

for an internship from an Instagram post. “AUSTERE does everything I’m passionate about: visuals, branding, marketing. This internship has been everything I have needed at this point in my life.” Olivia and Natasha began brainstorming about the rebirth of AUSTERE magazine which played into Olivia’s childhood dream. “I was obsessed with Vogue growing up — I would carry around issues all day long, and it inspired me to run a fashion blog for several years. AUSTERE gave me a chance to build my portfolio and expand my skill set.” I alluded to this at the beginning, but I came into the mix after I slid into Natasha’s DMs. (That’s actually a terrible way of putting it, but here we are.) I have always been the kid that wanted to do everything. From marine biologist to photographer to engineer, any career was game. However, never in my life did I consider ‘magazine editor’ as a potential addition to the resume. I have always known I love hearing stories and to get this fill, I often ask my partner to tell me one. When he declines, I turn to my latest acquisition from a tiny free library and dive into a world not my own. AUSTERE has given me a chance to hear stories from folks I would not have otherwise met and analyze and synthesize those words for the masses to consume.

The three of us converged to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. We met at a (virtual) table to figure out how to lift up voices that are deserving of a platform. We worked outside of our breadwinning jobs to interview our featured folks. We stayed up late and spent weekends refining our prose and sprucing the wireframe. We let our passion fuel each page of this issue. When you hear Natasha talk about AUSTERE as a brand, especially the magazine, she dotes over it as if it were a puppy or kitten, and it’s inspiring and humbling at the same time. Releasing the 21st issue in 2021 came to Natasha through divine circumstance or intervention. “Once I made the decision to re-launch the magazine and I realized that our 21st issue will be in 2021, it felt like one of those synergetic moments in my life where I was like, ‘Okay, this has to happen. And it has to happen this year’. It’s too perfect, it’s too appropriate.” In addition to re-launching the print version of AUSTERE, Natasha had an urge to do something different: enter the Metaverse and launch the world’s first virtual reality magazine, or in our case, Metazine™. “The world is changing and the digital landscape, the metaverse, is beginning to shape the way we experience our digital lives a lot more than it ever has before. It has unlocked a new way of expression and an opportunity for us to do what we

love to do best: innovate and create freely. And through this revelation of what we could do beyond our print issue, the experience of walking through the issue as a world of its own came alive.” Our world has gone through the wringer over the last two years, and our team wanted to document that journey through the eyes of business owners, musicians, and artists. We wanted our 21st issue to mimic the trek that our team has gone through: chaos, creation, and rebirth. Each section has been curated to take you, the reader, on a tour of the facts, emotions, and parables that we felt defined the last two years. Each interview, poem, editorial was meticulously crafted to speak the truths of our features and our team. Each page was erected to be not only aesthetically pleasing, but to also captivate you and invite you to stay a little longer. With the background of this issue complete, it gives me great pleasure to introduce LOTUS, the 21st issue of AUSTERE Magazine. P.S To access the full experience in the Metazine™, scan this QR code in the following page to create your passport and dive in.

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JOIN US IN THe

The Metazine™ is our magazine in the metaverse. You’ll experience video versions of the same stories in this print issue as well as walk through a living, breathing, version of the process we’ll take you through in print; chaos, creation and rebirth. To access our first ever Metazine™ you’ll either need a computer or VR headset. It does not matter if your computer is a mac or pc, you’ll be able to access it from either one. Scan the QR code to the right to sign up for your free passport into the Metazine™ and further instructions on how to download the program will be available from there. We hope you love the experience and ask that you share it with your friends!

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14 PHOTOGRAPHER NAME, COMPANY/AGENCY / TITLE NAME, COMPANY/AGENCY

I have lost myself without a map of how to

get

back.

starting

point

to jump off from. Where do I begin to find something

Poem by Ashlee Edens

whole

self?

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THE HOUSE BY MELINA PADRON

PHOTOGRAPHER LOST LANDS COLLECTIONS

i look outside my window and watch time pass from spring in March to summer in June. i see the leaves start to rust and fall and i feel my heart falling with them too. i’m biting at the bit, waiting for good news from the street but we’re stuck inside the house.

i haven’t seen my neighbor in days. his wheelchair waits outside the garage, his wife shuffles in and out of their back door, always in a mask (always gotta wear a mask) i wonder where he’s gone off to. my heart falls with the thought of him too. any other day i’d go over to check say “hey” but we’re stuck inside the house

my love, i know i wear on her. my pacing in the hallway, laundry piling up, my mind spread across the bed wrecked. i’d love to feel a ray of light but we’re stuck inside the house.

but something in me is stretching like a tree’s limb towards the sun. an uncomfortable metamorphosis, a caterpillar fighting to get out of his cocoon. (i know of entrapment too) i breathe in the air, grasp at the light. release my feelings of doubt. the house has let me out.

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SINCERELY, FLOURISHED

THE CHAOS OF KrR DESIGN

BY PATRICIA STEPANIUK

The way we treat living things should be universal: give them all respect and care. Give those two things and you’ll be surprised what you might get in return: gratitude, nourishment, the feeling of safety, shelter. Kirsten Rechnitz, owner of KRR Design, is passionate that we cater to the natural world in the same way that we would cater to a loved one. Rechnitz, a five-year veteran of the landscape design industry and 15 year student of botanical studies, launched her business in April 2020, just two months after deciding her course. “The decision just felt like the right time. I had gained a lot of confidence in my skill set and also knew my value to the artform and what I could give back to nature through my business.” Prior to starting KRR Design, Rechnitz worked for a boutique landscape and garden design studio in Austin, TX. She came to the field after being a traditional living and outdoor survival instructor, living in a wigwam in Utah for the better part of a decade. “I had to work with the land for everything — food, medicine, shelter — it was the ultimate experiential education in what our relationship with the earth looks and feels like when we’re working with it and for it, versus against it. Her time living from the land taught her not only how to harvest wild food

and navigate vast terrains by the sun and stars, but also how nature designs things naturally. She had to adjust her own life and needs to fit into the cycle of life and the continual changing of its seasons and available resources. This experience has allowed her to take into account every detail from soil pH levels to the birds, bees, and other organisms that thrive off the soil, vegetation, flowers and seeds, and use that knowledge to create couture wild gardens for multiple Austin residents. “I got really lucky when I started with one long-term project for a high-end client. She knew what she wanted and had the respect and understanding of the cycle of life to allow me to create a long-lasting environment surrounding her home that was both graceful and sophisticated in design as well as responsible within the grander scope of nature’s demands.” As the pandemic trucked on, so did Rechnitz’s business. Through word of mouth, clients began to pool around her like rainwater harvested from the sky. “Post lockdown, the architecture, engineering, and construction (AEC) industry was slammed. As a whole, we couldn’t find enough resources or labor to take on the work that was being dropped in our laps.” // Continues on pages 56, 80

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THE CHAOS OF EASTSIDE MUSIC

PHOTOGRAPHER NAME, COMPANY/AGENCY / TITLE NAME, COMPANY/AGENCY

WE DON’T MAKE EXCUSES,

WE MAKE RECORDS. Tucked away in a nondescript brick building nestled against I-35 in East Austin sits a place where passions are pursued and careers are cultivated. Alex Ballentine opened Eastside Music School and Eastside Music Studios (known collectively as Eastside Music) in 2010, with no business plan, but with the ultimate goal of building a community of musicians and fostering the next generation of creators. “Within 9 months I was totally out of money and it was clear that the studio wasn’t going to work out. It was then I realized that building a community was key.” As a result, Ballentine built out his team of music teachers to keep that side of the business afloat, and the recording studio took a back seat. Austin Sisler came into the picture in 2011 during his junior year of high school when he responded to a Craigslist ad for a music school to get help on a portfolio for a college application. Ballentine could see Sisler’s dedication to the craft as he drove nearly an hour each way to teach bi-weekly lessons. Sisler stayed on throughout his college years as a part-time employee, eventually becoming a fulltime admin for both the school and the studio.

In 2018, Eastside Music School grew to 200+ students and 20 teachers and was able to use the revenue from the school to fuel projects at the studio, mostly students and amateur musicians and afford Sisler the opportunity to become coowner of the studio. Fast forward two years “We had our best month ever in January 2020. After nine years of doing business, I finally had more money at the end of the month than I knew what to do with.” As the studio gained momentum and the school continued to thrive, the world was on the verge of a shutdown that would fuck over many businesses, including Eastside Music. // Continues on pages 58, 84

“I REALIZED THAT BUILDING A COMMUNITY WAS KEY.”

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THE CHAOS OF BABY STORME

BABY STORME By Olivia Fleming I had the pleasure of speaking with alternative artist and influencer Baby Storme (@babystorme) about her life, work, and struggles as an independent artist through the pandemic.

TALK TO ME ABOUT YOUR LIFE AND WORK OVER THE LAST YEAR AND A HALF. Well, being that we’re still in an ongoing pandemic, a year and a half ago I wasn’t doing much. But since I don’t work a 9-5 job, my life consists of creating content online & recording music which I do at home. Because of that, the pandemic didn’t affect me too much. But when 2021 started, I decided to go hard. And I think that decision changed my life a lot. TELL ME ABOUT YOUR CREATIVE PROCESS NOW VS. PRE-PANDEMIC There’s really no difference. Since I don’t have a 9-5 job, I wasn’t affected much. I actually prefer being indoors most of the time really.

HAVE YOUR PRIORITIES SHIFTED IN THE LAST YEAR AND A HALF? IF SO, HOW? Not at all. My only priority has been to succeed in music, and that still remains my #1 priority. Maybe after that, my priorities will shift into something else. WHAT DOES “VULNERABILITY” LOOK LIKE FOR YOU? To me, vulnerability is honesty. And it’s something that should be more normalized. We’re so conditioned to lie, hide our feelings, and never tell anyone how we really feel. But I think vulnerability is saying “F all that” and simply being yourself, being honest with yourself, and always saying how you truly feel. // Continues on pages 52, 90

“WE’RE SO CONDITIONED TO LIE, HIDE OUR FEELINGS, AND NEVER TELL ANYONE HOW WE REALLY FEEL.”

THE CHAOS OF THE LITTLE GAY SHOP

BY AUSTEN GREGERSON

TO EXIST WITHOUT JUSTIFICATION

Taken at face value, there is no need to give spaces dedicated to queer people to display their art. To remove the queer experience from art is to essentially destroy art at its core.

Cultural censorship attacks art and takes the color out of life’s palette. Art deserves protecting, a home where it can thrive without scrutiny, and able to express itself as its creator sees fit. But to create a place where underrepresented artists can not just survive, but thrive, takes a strength that has been forged through passion, love, and a commitment to a cause greater than one’s self. The Little Gay Shop started even-smaller than a shop as a stand in 2019. With an IKEA display table, husbands Kirt Reynolds and Justin Galicz showcased pieces of local art from the Austin queer community at pop-up events across the city, where some of the chaos of operating a temporary shop — cramped spaces, the wind blowing stickers into bushes, fighting for attention against the other options at the brewery — came into view. Galicz called it “a disaster.” They learned. Before the pandemic lockdowns hit the US in March 2020, Galicz and Reynolds participated in six or seven pop-up events throughout the city and started to build the

community that they couldn’t quite find. Today that folding table is a pastelpainted cinder block home for the scattered diaspora of Austin’s queer community. With shirts, paintings, books, any medium that gives space for the underserved and mistreated to dictate their own meaning filling the East Austin store, Galicz and Reynolds turned what could have been “just a very expensive storage unit”, had the plans for a physical shop failed, into a megaphone for their community. Both Reynolds and Galicz work other fulltime jobs and operate The Little Gay Shop by strength of passion. Self-funded, with no “bougie financiers” per Galicz to create a safety net, the couple jumped. And when businesses began shuttering, and Reynolds was furloughed from his primary career, the purpose of their art store became evident. Where can the gay community go to display their work? What does this city need to be as inclusive as it proclaims to be? // Continues on pages 64, 86

“TO REMOVE THE QUEER EXPERIENCE FROM ART IS TO ESSENTIALLY DESTROY

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THE CHAOS OF INIKO

INIKO By Olivia Fleming

I had the opportunity to speak with amazing vocalist Iniko (@in.iko) about their journey as an artist and as a human being the last year and a half.

TALK TO ME ABOUT YOUR LIFE/WORK OVER THE LAST YEAR AND A HALF. Since the pandemic began, my life has taken a big 180. I was in a really low space and took the initiative to take my pain and hurt and use it for my art. I experienced my first heartbreak over the pandemic and a lot of other things ensued, making me realize that I had been living and moving for other people rather than for myself. It took all of that for me to finally say enough is enough and do something about it.

HAVE YOUR PRIORITIES SHIFTED IN THE LAST YEAR AND A HALF? IF SO, HOW? My priorities have shifted this year. Now I put music before everything, but self-care before music. I’ve learned to create clear boundaries, to speak up when I’m not comfortable, and stand up for myself when it’s called for. I save my energy in moments where it’s not worth it, and transmute it to something more productive for the self.

WHAT DOES “VULNERABILITY” LOOK LIKE FOR YOU? Vulnerability looks like me being completely honest with not just myself, but everyone else too. Taking my “L”s when I have to because at the end of the day, you don’t grow from being comfortable. Mistakes are what make this experience worthwhile. It teaches us the parts of ourselves that need attention and understanding. Vulnerability is accepting our own dual nature. // Continues on pages 62, 91

“I’VE LEARNED TO CREATE CLEAR BOUNDARIES, TO SPEAK UP WHEN I’M NOT COMFORTABLE, AND STAND UP FOR MYSELF WHEN IT’S CALLED FOR.”

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THE CHAOS OF ARGOt SWIM

DIVING IN BY CASSIE FINNINGER

In February 2020, when the pandemic turned the world upside down, all that Natalie Herzig had to show for Argot Swim was a stack of business cards. “I didn’t own the URL. I didn’t have a single completed design. But I was like, ‘fuck it,’ excuse my french. This is the first step.” Before COVID-19 hit, Herzig was working as a Social Media Manager — what she thought would be her dream job after leaving modeling. Instead she found herself burning out hard and fast. “I was working seven days a week [and] waking up at 2:00 or 3:00am with panic attacks thinking about DMs I needed to answer, or wondering if the client had made enough sales, juggling all those stressors.” A fundamentally creative and self-motivated individual, Herzig felt within her a drive for something new. “A voice deep inside telling me that how I was spending my days was taking away from my own ability to do my own project.. this deep desire to be at the helm rather than a player in someone else’s vision.” For her birthday, a friend who creates one-off swimsuits, Piñacolada Swimwear, gifted her a custom swimsuit. She began to think about what she wanted to see in swimwear. “I rarely ever found swimwear that felt like me, made me feel cool, had quality materials...and was sustainably made. I was surprised to find at that time that all these sustainable swimwear brands had this utilitarian, athletic leaning. That’s when the seed of [Argot] got serious. But I had never designed anything before. I had worked heavily in fashion and with emerging brands, so I had been around the process, but I didn’t have any experience.” By Spring 2020, Herzig’s social media management clients were going under, or made deep cuts to their teams, retaining only vital employees. Social Media Manager didn’t make the grade, and so Herzig was let go. “I lost my job. There is something totally terrifying about that happening. And then there was something completely liberating. Nothing was certain, so everything is possible. This fear I had was released from me.”

“NOTHING WAS CERTAIN, SO EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE.”

// Continues on pages 66, 94 Austere LOTUS // 31

THE CHAOS OF MUSES ESCAPE

THE MUSES OF OUR ESCAPE ALL PHOTOGRAPHS TAKEN BY SYRIE MOSKOWITZ AT OUR “MUSES IN THE HIGHLANDS” RETREAT. SCOTLAND, MARCH 2020. PHOTOGRAPHER NAME, COMPANY/AGENCY / TITLE NAME, COMPANY/AGENCY

BY NATASHA BRITO

While scrolling endlessly through TikTok I was blessed with a video that appeared all too beautiful and artistic compared to the rest. I immediately sensed an energy of an older time, a time of physical connection, sisterhood and witchery. I felt like I was seeing experiences from another time all too familiar to my soul. As I dug further into the account, I learned that it was not just aesthetic content but an actual unique events brand called Muses Escape. I had the pleasure of interviewing them and diving into their purpose, origin and recent journey along the way. PLEASE, INTRODUCE YOURSELVES. Gwen: I am a college professor of philosophy and classics and a wayward creator of written and visual whimsy. I’m also a co-founder of Muses Escape. Syrie: I am a high-school dropout, autodidact visual artist and filmmaker. I am also a co-founder of Muses Escape. Eden: I’m an art school dropout who lives in the mountains and builds fantastical worlds I can hide in. I am also a co-founder of Muses Escape.

WHY DID YOU DECIDE TO CREATE THESE EXPERIENCES? The idea of “Muses Escape” came from a trip we went on with a group of girlfriends. We rented a beautiful historic property and had an utterly fabulous time! We then realized we wanted to share this experience with others, and to use it to bring artisticallyinclined female and femme individuals together in extraordinary places and circumstances. In other words, we wanted to make magic with kindred spirits. TALK TO ME ABOUT YOUR LIFE/WORK OVER THE LAST YEAR AND A HALF & YOUR CREATIVE PROCESS NOW VS. PRE-PANDEMIC. Gwen: At the beginning of the pandemic in March 2020, my university became entirely remote, and I had to teach from home. It was draining and isolating, and the three of us had just returned from an epic retreat that we hosted in a castle in the wilderness of Scotland. Shortly thereafter, we created “Muses from Afar,” which was a free and remote exchange of ideas and art through lectures and assignments given by

distinguished contributors such as Ellen von Unwerth, Rose Callahan, and Elena Kanagy-Loux. Syrie: Yeah, Muses from Afar was a really powerful experience for us. It was so inspiring to see so many incredibly talented women connect during such a messed-up time, and then to see the uniqueness of the art they produced separately and in collaboration. Eden: The last year and a half was rough. Something that I continuously looked forward to and what helped distract me from the deafening world news was working on our brainchild and making other women feel less alone in the process with Muses from Afar. HOW OFTEN DO YOU REFLECT ON WHAT YOU HAVE DONE AND/OR HOW YOU OPERATE? AND WHAT DOES THAT REFLECTION PROCESS LOOK LIKE? Gwen: I cannot imagine doing anything without continually reflecting on it. Syrie: I’m a Nostalgia Addict and unfortunately it’s incurable, so reflection is my go-to experience. Eden: I killed a man in Reno, just to watch him die…

HAVE YOUR PRIORITIES SHIFTED IN THE LAST YEAR AND A HALF? IF SO, HOW? Gwen: We have always been hermits, and strangely, the pandemic has made us more productive and focused on what we want to do. Syrie: I agree. We’re really just three nerds in pretty dresses that like to create experiences and to make things happen by escaping “reality.” Eden: We are like a three-headed productivity beast! My partners have been role models to me and I feel as though my priorities have never been clearer. WHAT DOES “VULNERABILITY” LOOK LIKE FOR YOU & YOUR BUSINESS? HOW HAS THAT INFLUENCED WHAT YOU CREATE? Gwen: Ideally, we would be invulnerable. Syrie: Gwen’s superpower would be words, Eden’s would be conjuring the fog on a sunny day, mine would be planting entire trees from the touch of a wand... and spreadsheets. :) Eden: Also, talking to animals. // Continues on pages 68, 92

“WE WANTED TO MAKE MAGIC WITH KINDRED SPIRITS.”

Austere LOTUS // 33

ALL PHOTOGRAPHS TAKEN BY SYRIE MOSKOWITZ AT OUR “MUSES IN THE HIGHLANDS” RETREAT. SCOTLAND, MARCH 2020.

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BANN NNED BY OLIVIA FLEMING

PHOTOGRAPHER NAME, COMPANY/AGENCY / TITLE NAME, COMPANY/AGENCY

Censorship in new media has been an ongoing issue and debate for our government as we try to find the difficult balance between safety and freedom when it comes to regulating speech online. But TikTok seems to be a whole other breeding ground for unstructured and targeted censorship that is now hurting some of its largest creators.

I sat down with Stanzi Potenza, a full-time TikTok creator and sketch comedian with more than one million followers on the platform. I had been following Stanzi for a while when I saw her cry for help online after TikTok banned their account for a week all because she typed the letter “D” in a comment. I was flabbergasted at the injustice of the ban, and wanted to dive a bit deeper into how censorship on TikTok functions, and how it affects its creators.

NED

CENSORSHIP IN NEW MEDIA: A DISCUSSION WITH TIKTOK CREATOR STANZI POTENZA STANZI, CAN YOU EXPLAIN WHAT’S UP WITH THE LETTER “D” AND WHY TIKTOK BANNED YOU? I recently got a breast reduction, and I did a video showing the before and after, since that’s kind of a trend on TikTok this year. Someone commented on the video asking me what size I was and what size I got down to. So I replied “I went from G to D” and a few days later, they removed the comment for “sexual activity and nudity” which is my most frequent violation notification. I appealed the comment, and they restored it, but I was still banned for seven days, which is something they do a lot. Even if you win the appeal, the ban remains.

captions, but they still take it down even though I’m already censoring myself. But then, I will see other creators do similar types of content, even very sexual content, and they don’t get punished for it. It really bothers me that I get my account taken down for things that are less offensive than a lot of the content I see every day. Not only that, but the same content that I get rewarded for on Instagram and other platforms is the content that gets banned on TikTok. Even my Civil War video got taken down for nudity, and I’m actually in colonial clothes with several layers on. It makes me feel crazy because it’s like I’m walking on eggshells with the app.

WHAT’S CRAZY IS, PEOPLE MUST BE USING THE LETTER “D” ACTUALLY IN A SEXUAL WAY EVERY DAY, IS TIKTOK REALLY MODERATING EVERYONE WHO TYPES “D” IN A COMMENT? No they’re not, and that’s what’s so annoying for me. A lot of my content is pretty out there, but I censor myself in the videos, and my words in my

WHAT IS THE PROCESS LIKE FOR GETTING IN TOUCH WITH THE APP FOR AN APPEAL? It was really difficult. I emailed them about 50 times last week, and I used two different email accounts, and sent emails to all of their addresses. TikTok is my job, and it was like being told I couldn’t come into work for a week.

They ignored my Twitter messages, so I started tweeting at them all day. They wouldn’t respond to me, but they responded to everyone else that was tweeting at them. I made another Twitter account and finally got a message back within five minutes. I sent a screenshot of all of the tweets I had sent, and they just told me, “Thank you for your patience” and they’ll get someone working on it. They finally had to manually go into the back end of the app and unban me so I could post again. It was just so crazy how easy it was for them to fix it, but so impossible to get a hold of anyone. HOW DOES A POST-BAN IMPACT YOU FINANCIALLY? Basically, with the creator fund, you can see how much money you make each day. So say you make $100 a day, a seven day post ban would mean you lose $700 for that week. I will go in and see huge dives in views during the times I’ve been banned, because less content means less views overall. Which is so frustrating because, for

many of us, this is our full-time job. So being told not to come into work for a week because of something very minor you did is incredibly stressful. It’s also difficult because when you are banned, you are not able to log into your account and get any of your money out. Not only that, but when you get banned, they notify everyone who tries to follow you that you’ve violated many community guidelines, basically warning new people not to follow you because they’ve deemed you a “bad creator”. TO ME, THE WAY THEY DECIDE WHO GETS BANNED AND FOR WHAT REASON IS SO RANDOM. IT NEVER SEEMS TO BE THINGS THAT ACTUALLY VIOLATE THE TIKTOK GUIDELINES, SO WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GOING ON? A lot of the people who are targeted by TikTok are part of marginalized groups. A friend of mine is trans and was featured in an article last year because their account had been permanently banned, but they don’t do anything about the trolls that are constantly

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harassing her. And it’s not about making the app safe for kids, since TikTok actively seeks out and bans any account user who is under the age limit and lying about their age, and 13-18 is a really small demographic on the app. It’s also common to say that videos are banned because of mass reporting, but I don’t believe that is the issue.

kept increasing. First, 2-3 days, and then a week, and now, any time I get a violation, I’m banned for a whole week. If you get enough of those violations, your account can be permanently banned, which is so stressful because this is our job, and we feel like we are constantly on thin ice with our employer.

TikTok recently started using an algorithm bot to go in and sense what content is appropriate and what isn’t. This is problematic because while the bot is learning, it’s hurting a lot of creators who are getting violations on their account because the bot doesn’t understand that what you said or did actually wasn’t offensive. When those violations add up, it leads to a permanent ban, and the more violations you get, the more the bot will target your account.

TO ME, I ONLY SEE BIG CREATORS DEALING WITH THIS KIND OF CENSORSHIP, AND IT SEEMS LIKE THIS STARTED AFTER THE CREATOR FUND. COULD THEY BE STIFLING YOUR GROWTH SO THEY DON’T HAVE TO GIVE AS BIG OF A PAYOUT? We talk about that all the time. For a lot of us bigger professional creators, our views are a lot lower at the end of the month when we actually get paid. The last week of the month, our accounts see a drastic drop in views. Also, I’ve noticed that when I get post-banned, it’s usually at the end of the month too. I just saw another creator talk about how TikTok will punish you for going viral because they don’t want to pay you for those views, and I even get post banned a lot after a video of mine does really well. The last time I was post banned, one of my videos reached five million views, and another one also hit five million views and I got hit with another post ban. It’s almost

SO WHEN DID THIS START HAPPENING? It started around April and just got worse this summer. Before, if you got a violation, they’d just take the video down. But now, if you get a violation, they take the video down and you get a post ban. I had never been post banned before, and then one day I tried to upload and I realized they had banned me from posting. My post bans used to be 24 hours, and then it

like they’re trying to even out the amount of money they have to give us. It’s obviously speculation, but it just happens so frequently that it’s hard to think that’s not the case. My conversation with Stanzi really had me thinking about the future of TikTok, and even wishing that something else less corrupt would come along to take its place. So what do you think is the cause of this crazy censorship on the app? Is it a cultural misunderstanding? Is it a blundering AI making mistakes until it learns what content is truly offensive? Or is it just a large corporation trying to save themselves the money they promised to creators who give the app life in the first place? Be sure to follow Stanzi at @ stanzipotenza on TikTok and Instagram and support their work to combat this madness!

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40 PHOTOGRAPHER DIANA NAME, COMPANY/AGENCY DIHAZE / TITLE NAME, COMPANY/AGENCY

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BY AUSTEN GREGERSON

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STEPS, BACK AND FORTH

I think we’ve always known just how alone we are. Not in a studio apartment kind of way. But in the way that matters: the reason for finding the connections to our world, through art and expression, through human interaction. We’ve always looked for the points of contact that prove that, no, we’re not just alone and left to wander. That’s why family matters. That’s why friends matter. That’s why when we were taken from our connections, left just with the thudding silence of ourselves amongst nothing else, individually we looked around to see what else was around in the world. That’s when police brutality, gruesome class consciousness, economic disparities, environmental catastrophes, and the all-encompassing malaise of a life lived on autopilot could no longer be ignored. Creating became a luxury. Survival of our sanity (not to speak of the survival of our physical bodies, from viruses and nature and police) became what mattered. Those that didn’t have their livelihoods put on hold or altogether lost saw the mandated downtime as a chance to reflect; the reflection drowned some others. We stared, wondering why we felt the need to keep creating when the moment felt bigger than any one expression. Does art matter in a pandemic? Does being defined by one singular tragic period forever date and reference that art to the point of such obscurity that it loses all meaning once we’re on the other side of it, regardless of what that side brings? The truth is, all art is bound by the era in, and circumstance under which it was created. There’s a sense that good art has to transcend the time in which it was created. This is a lie. Good art does nothing but make palatable the truth of the time it came to exist in, and denying it its place in history

is to remove all context from its creation. That’s why innovators can still proudly display their works amongst the followers that took their idea and perfected it, because the fact that theirs is the first still means something. Your art has changed. Your style has shifted, either diving deeper into the stoicism that seems fitting of the era — the black-tie solemn that shows the world just how sad you are — or it brightened, defiantly, a solitary iridescent fuck-you to the brazenly-dull awful.

“THERE’S A SENSE THAT GOOD ART HAS TO TRANSCEND THE TIME IN WHICH IT WAS CREATED. THIS IS A LIE.”

There’s nothing new to be said that hasn’t been said already about 2020. Unless, that is of course, you’re the one capable of saying that beautiful, ponderous, solitary “new”. You’re the one that’s capable of saying the profound, touching, humanizing thing through your choice form of expression to make it digestible for those who have neither the time nor capability to synthesize a life’s worth of trauma crushed into 18 months — certainly not like you can.

This is where the work comes in, where the need to sit down and express these emotions and feelings and thoughts and fears come to intersect, into one piece, one series of pieces, a song or an album or a novel/play/ thesis/piece of legislation that takes all of which 2020 offered and took it to the masses for consumption. This is our moment of chaos. But the fine lines and paved roads that evaporated in March 2020 were always meant to be left. Commercial art is the background noise that goes unnoticed and unseen, pleasantly familiar to the lowest common denominator of humanity that is just nice enough to never remember. Art from a place of immense pain is a product of understanding. We’re all deep in the learning phase, now, and don’t take that as a sign you’ve gone too far. You have just gotten started. Be grateful for your trauma. Fight like hell to understand it, to control what it means to you. Let that meaning define your art. Say it loudly. Speak clearly. Rub those ashes together to find the spark. Because, frankly, if you don’t have anything worth saying after the past 18 months, maybe art isn’t for you.

Be grateful for your trauma.

44 PHOTOGRAPHER PROPELTHEMOON PHOTOGRAPHY, MODEL MIKENNA HALL, RIGHT // PHOTOGRAPHER LOST LANDS COLLECTIONS, LEFT

I can’t see through the soil but I don’t see to believe something is happening beneath and below. Sometimes we don’t see the creation but something is being created. Locked deep like a seed. Beneath and below, beneath and below, beginning to grow.

Poem by Tanner Olsen

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BY MELINA PADRON

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quarantine gave me too much time to think. to pick at all the flaws my mirror says i have. i scroll nervously down my feed Twitter Instagram Facebook Twitter Instagram Facebook Repeat. Seeing all these people who are supposed to be my friends. all the while i think “don’t be happier than me” “don’t be prettier than me” “don’t be skinnier than me” i guess good thing we were all in quarantine.

i know everyone feels it, but sometimes i think i feel it so much worse. i look at my body think of everything about my body why do i think of myself as just a body? instead of everything i have within. i used to skip a meal, sometimes two. sometimes i wish i could skip them all disappear into the ether too. but quarantine gave me too much time to think too much time to eat, to drink looking at all the people on my feed.

A BODY

but that can’t be the real me. envy is empty, i can’t be empty. i try to crawl out of it’s hollow space. i ask my body for forgiveness. i wrap my arms around myself, try to give my mind a rest. stop over thinking my feed. realize everyone’s on their own journey. i guess good thing we were all in quarantine.

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BABY STORME

THE CREATION OF BABY STORME

HOW AND WHERE DO YOU FIND CONFIDENCE TO SHARE YOUR WORK WITH THE MASSES? I am confident in sharing my work online because I know my work is good, and I don’t need anyone else to tell me that. I believe in myself and what I do, so I know that others will believe in me too. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU ARE ANXIOUS/NERVOUS? I make music, always. HAS YOUR VIEW OF YOUR AUDIENCE CHANGED SINCE THE PANDEMIC? IF SO, HOW? Yes. Before the pandemic, I had a small audience from Tiktok. Now, I feel like I have an actual music audience. I feel like I transitioned from being seen as an influencer to being seen as an upcoming artist. WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE TO INTERACT WITH YOUR AUDIENCE/FANS? For me, It could be through comment sections, emails, dms, giveaways, and during Christmas time I love to send my fans christmas cards.

DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY/OBLIGATION TO YOUR FANS TO BE SOCIALLY CONSCIOUS/ RESPONSIBLE? Yes and no. Of course I feel like I owe that to them, but I also feel like I owe that to myself as well. WHAT DOES “INCLUSIVITY” MEAN TO YOU? To me, inclusivity means having something for everyone. But I don’t feel like inclusivity is really possible. There will always be someone who feels left out. So other than trying to be inclusive with one thing, I feel like people/ brands should have different things for different people. // Continues on page 90

“THERE’S A SENSE THAT GOOD ART HAS TO TRANSCEND THE TIME IN WHICH IT WAS CREATED. THIS IS A LIE.”

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Through my art, I like to portray the sacredness of the woman and the way she uses her intuition to protect nature. My intention is to manifest this feminine force via timeless symbols of life and fertility. In my work, humans and all living beings make a whole with their surroundings showing everything that exists on our planet is made of the same elements and is interconnected like one single organism. In this era of environmental crisis, I prefer to illustrate an ideal relationship between human and nature, rather than criticize and expose destructive behaviors.

ARTIST ALEXANDRA LEVESSEUR

- Alexandra Levesseur

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THE CREATION OF KrR DESIGN

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SINCERELY, FLOURISHED

Despite what we Texans mockingly call “Snowvid”, and weather experts deemed “Winter Storm Uri”, Rechnitz was able to keep projects moving, albeit delayed, thanks to small, local industry partners like William Glenn and Michael Alexander of Barton Springs Nursery and Austin Plant Supply, respectively. The week-long shutdown forced KRR Design to find other ways to get projects done and to have the vulnerability with clients to say, “I don’t know.” Sometimes this meant being upfront with them about the realities of nature and saying, “this is not going to work and here’s why.” “I’ve relied on friends and industry partners when difficulties arise.” I have immense respect and appreciation for the network I’ve been able to lean on they are all extraordinary people with phenomenal talents. I’m incredibly fortunate to have their support.”

As a result of her kind nature, aptitude for collaboration, and business acumen, Rechnitz has come into her own, carving out a strong following for her company in a male-dominated industry. She has figured out where she fits into the larger puzzle of each project and who else to bring in as the other pieces to make a picture whole. “I’ve been able to take my life experiences and create the types of gardens and landscapes that I want to create. I can be intentional about including the things that often get overlooked, like, how are the beneficial bugs and insects going to thrive here? Or how can I incorporate the elegance of ornamental plantings alongside the edible and medicinal elements without a forced demarcation in this garden? And make that a central feature of a project.”

// Continues on page 80

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THE CREATION OF EASTSIDE MUSIC

WE DON’T MAKE EXCUSES, WE MAKE RECORDS.

March 2020 was like a dick punch to the heart for the whole world – the ability to spend time with others creating cool shit was taken away, and there was (and still is) no concrete, consistent plan for when and how it would go back to “the before times”. As a global community we watched the virus spread rapidly from east to west. “As a business owner, whose job it is to bring people together in an enclosed, small space, I was like ‘this is going to fucking ruin me.’” In the early weeks of the US shutdown, Ballentine and Sisler seemed to be losing a game of COVID-protocol Battleship with their alternative plans for lessons. Attempting to implement measures like hand sanitizer stations and face masks, only to be shot down by the city again and again, was defeating and disheartening. Ballentine recalls “There was no real guidance from anyone at the time. We had flirted with the idea of Zoom lessons but we knew it wasn’t going to be the same.” Ultimately, they did make the switch to virtual lessons. As a result, Eastside Music School was able to keep about 60% of their students, and keep their real estate thanks to a lowered rent with the landlord. “We were able to stay afloat because of the relationships

that we had built with our community and our students.” It turns out, keeping students and the space was only one piece of the puzzle, after finding it hard to get teachers back in-person after developing a love for working from home, then adding in the curve ball of the Delta variant. “Aside from the initial trauma of the pandemic, Delta has been the most painful thing for our business. I feel like I’ve been seduced into thinking that we are going to get past this variant, but the possibility of another in the spring plagues my thinking of the present.” In spite of everything, Sisler was able to keep the recording studio going one session at a time. “Within a few months, creative people just wanted to break out and get the juices flowing again. We had a lot of clients record at home and send it over for me to mix and polish — several of which I still have never met in person. Everyone I worked with reinforced my belief that creativity can flourish in darker times.” // Continues on page 84

“EVERYONE I WORKED WITH REINFORCED MY BELIEF THAT CREATIVITY CAN FLOURISH IN DARKER TIMES.”

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THE CREATION OF INIKO

INIKO HOW AND WHERE DO YOU FIND CONFIDENCE TO SHARE YOUR WORK WITH THE MASSES? I find the confidence to be able to share my music and art with other people within myself. I know what music has done for me and I know the power it holds. I’m confident in myself so I know that my music will reflect that confidence because it is a part of me. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU ARE ANXIOUS/NERVOUS? Honestly, when I’m anxious I usually smoke to clear my head. But if I don’t have the Earth’s medication nearby, I will dance, or go out in nature. I’ll talk to myself too or to my ancestors. It’s good to get those anxious thoughts out so that they aren’t swimming around in my head all day waiting for the overthinking train.

HAS YOUR VIEW OF YOUR AUDIENCE CHANGED SINCE THE PANDEMIC? AND IF SO, HOW? My view of my audience hasn’t really changed so much. I always saw my audience as a diverse set of people who are genuinely just looking for those lost parts of themselves, and I think that’s something we are all searching for. I always knew that I was for everyone, even if they don’t want me to be. HAVE YOU CHANGED YOUR PROCESS TO MEET YOUR AUDIENCE WHERE THEY ARE? I’ve changed in a lot of ways. I think the biggest way is how authentic I am now. I used to be a real people pleaser and didn’t completely stand in my truth because I was afraid of how strangers and people I cared about would react. Now I don’t give a shit.

DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY/OBLIGATION TO YOUR FANS TO BE SOCIALLY CONSCIOUS/ RESPONSIBLE? To be obligated implies that it’s my job, my duty to be socially conscious. It’s my duty to exist and to be mindful of the people around me. I cannot control how people see me, perceive me or take in my art and my messages. I have an obligation to no one but myself. There is so much happening in the world. It’s absolutely impossible to be completely aware of everything. An artist and an activist are not the same. Everyone has a role to play. Let us play ours. WHAT DOES “INCLUSIVITY” MEAN TO YOU? Inclusivity to me means to be mindful of all kinds of persons no matter their background, race, gender or creed. To include all people from all walks of life. It means no one is above or below hearing my music, my message, or my voice. // Continues on page 91

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THE CREATION OF THE LITTLE GAY SHOP

TO EXIST WITHOUT JUSTIFICATION On July 1, 2020, the physical store on Airport Boulevard opened. “We wouldn’t have a physical space without the pandemic,” Galicz said. “The opportunity to open a retail space and continue to build on it all this time has given us a huge opportunity to bring more people in and have more conversations. Now we can take the time to expand and grow what it means to be a queer person here in Austin.” Most major cities in the US have an established “gay neighborhood,” or at least a place where queer folks know they can exist without having to explain. West Hollywood. Castro District. West Village and Park Slope. In Austin, a city whose metropolitan area exceeds one million people, a few bars on Fourth Street constituted the only brick-and-mortar evidence that the LGBTQ+ community

existed. But that community requires connection points. Austin, a city that embraces being not-quite-Texas, didn’t have nearly enough to support the community that already found their way. So beyond creating a space where LGBTQIA+ people could display their art, The Little Gay Shop needed to become a place where the social fabric could be woven. “How do we ensure that, for our local artists, how do we ensure we’re talking to each other and better-activating our different mutual aid and non-profit groups to work within the same goal?” Galicz said. “Even with other LGBTQIA+ businesses, what does it mean to identify as that group? [Austin] felt disconnected in that regard.” // Continues on page 86

“SO BEYOND CREATING A SPACE WHERE LGBTQIA+ PEOPLE COULD DISPLAY THEIR ART, THE LITTLE GAY SHOP NEEDED TO BECOME A PLACE WHERE THE SOCIAL FABRIC COULD BE WOVEN.”

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THE CREATION OF ARGOt SWIM

DIVING IN Newly unemployed, and with New York becoming a COVID-19 hotspot, Herzig moved back to her home state of Texas and got to work. “I was working at Argot, 8-10 hours a day, fleshing out the tone of the brand and trying to design. [In July] I went to Mexico to my friend’s workshop and I brought her the drawings that I had which were literally stick figures.” The first samples turned out terrible. “I didn’t use high quality materials making the samples. The drawings I had weren’t clear at all. I got a lot from that experience. I understood more about how it all worked.” While some of her original drawings did make their way into the collection, her design skill had to improve. Herzig turned to Youtube and learned to design on Adobe Illustrator. “I watched everything about fashion illustrations and tech-packs, which are technical drawings that you hand off to factories.”

She was able to translate her ideas into the sort of swimwear line she envisioned: “sustainably made womens swimwear inspired by vintage fashion. It’s all about classic, tailored cuts that flatter curves and make you feel cool and sexy on the beach. At its core, Argot is sophisticated and playful.” After several rounds of samples from her factory in Bali and many, many delays, she finally launched her first line in August 2021. The swimsuits in her first line are named after, and inspired by, icons like Farrah Fawcett and Brigette Bardot. When it came to manufacturing and shipping her retro inspired swimwear, Herzig was determined to do so sustainably. “All of the sustainable choices are more expensive. It is simply not possible to stay at those super-low costs because you’re paying everybody correctly and you’re using more expensive materials.” Her suits are made of Italian Carvico Vita, which is a sustainable techno-

“IT’S COOL TO GIVE A SHIT. IT’S COOL TO CARE ABOUT THE PLANET.”

fabric made of elastane and recycled nylon. The packaging for her shipping also uses recycled materials and is plastic-free. “It’s personally important to me to not greenwash, to actually do the things we say we’re going to do and not use it as a marketing tactic. It’s hard being a small company because we don’t have all the resources of larger companies, but there is a lot that I can do, and I do as much as I can.” Argot Swim has partnered with The Ocean Cleanup Project and a portion of all proceeds goes to removing plastic from our oceans. “I think it is one of the saddest things in the whole world to go to a body of water and there are soda bottles or potato chip wrappers in the water. That genuinely breaks my heart—the ugliest thing in the most beautiful place. I’m proud my company does things in a different way. It’s cool to give a shit. It’s cool to care about the planet.” // Continues on page 94

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ALL PHOTOGRAPHS TAKEN BY SYRIE MOSKOWITZ AT OUR “MUSES IN THE HIGHLANDS” RETREAT. SCOTLAND, MARCH 2020.

THE CREATION OF MUSES ESCAPE

THE MUSES OF OUR ESCAPE WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU ARE ANXIOUS/ NERVOUS? Gwen: I hug Frankie, my chubby, cream-colored cat. Syrie: I collage very tiny pieces of antique images together and glue them inside equally tiny bottles. Eden: Just sleep it off. HAS YOUR VIEW OF YOUR AUDIENCE CHANGED SINCE THE PANDEMIC? IF SO, HOW? After the loneliness of the last year, where the digital universe was our main and often only method of connection, the influx of female and femme people who are desirous of genuine connections, experiences, and the embrace of feminine beauty has exploded. Our audience is now 98% female and femme-identifying.

WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE TO INTERACT WITH YOUR CLIENTS + FANS? We wouldn’t differentiate in a stark way between ourselves and our audience. We are called “Muses” in the interest of rescuing the earlier Greek sense of the word as invoking inspiration (as opposed to its being later saddled with the baggage of lecherous men calling their artistic subjects “muses”). The Muses inspired the poets; they are in us and out of us. We invite our guests to muse with us and to inspire one another. WHAT DOES “INCLUSIVITY” MEAN TO YOU? Inclusivity means not using terms like “inclusivity,” which are unfortunately exclusive. // Continues on page 92

HAVE YOU CHANGED YOUR PROCESS & PRODUCT TO MEET THE AUDIENCE WHERE THEY ARE? People need art, conversation, and connection more than ever…more than we imagined.

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DIGITAL

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BLACKFACE

Recently, I’ve become well acquainted with the world of the video essay, and using these long-form lectures as soothing yet thought-provoking ways to end my day. While dealing with all the stress and turmoil of the last few years, I find them an extremely transportive medium, eye-opening like a gateway into countless topics I never would have learned about otherwise. While diving down a rabbit hole on varying social issues, I stumbled upon a video about something called “digital blackface”. Intrigued, I clicked the thumbnail, and was greeted with the stunning and charming Khadija Mbowe, a beautiful performer and YouTuber in Canada who is bringing nuance to some of the most divisive issues online. After watching the video several times, I spoke with Mbowe to get their genuine thoughts and feelings on this complicated issue. Mbowe explained that digital blackface is the act of expressing our emotions through the use of AAVE (African American Vernacular English) and images/ memes/gifs featuring racialized Black people. Mbowe explains, “it’s important to pay attention to how we use emojis and gifs to feel our feelings for us, and how we as human beings are becoming less emotionally intelligent and aware. The internet is where so many of us live our lives. If you can just send an emoji saying ‘I’m so sad’, do you really even need to be feeling it, or understanding it?”

In regards to digital blackface, “we do it all the time to gifs and memes and things that have nothing to do with race. So if we’re already in a place where we offload our emotions, how does race ideology impact that?” In essence, the critique presented in talking about digital blackface is that the majority of the gifs and memes we share feature Black people being animated or creating some kind of performance we can laugh at and share with a friend to describe how we are feeling. Increasingly, we are offloading our emotions onto Black bodies and voices, using Black people to do our emotional labor for us. Throughout the interview, Mbowe emphasized that it is the performance aspect and dehumanization that makes digital blackface a problem. They told me that it doesn’t exactly make you racist for using a meme of Oprah Winfrey screaming for joy, or using (and misusing) AAVE on Twitter, but the problem lies when we remove the actual human beings behind the images and cultural norms from them, distilling real people down to entertainment for the rest of us to gawk at. This is not a new situation as Mbowe argues in their video how digital blackface is a modern evolution of minstrel shows. These were put on by whites in America, Canada, and England beginning in the 19th and through the mid-20th centuries

as a form of entertainment which by proxy oppressed African slaves and eventually their freed descendents. White performers painted their faces to mimic African features and played characters such as “Jim Crow” or “Mammy” for comic relief. It’s hard to understand how one can equate such an abhorrent act of racism to using funny memes on instagram; however, Mbowe often points out in their videos that racism evolves and changes throughout time. We have to constantly examine and understand how new forms of racism are affecting current — and may affect future — generations.

“WE ARE OFFLOADING OUR EMOTIONS ONTO BLACK BODIES AND VOICES, USING BLACK PEOPLE TO DO OUR EMOTIONAL LABOR FOR US.”

“As much as we like to say hindsight is 20/20, if we had a bit more foresight, we wouldn’t have to say that so much. So yes, hearing ‘digital blackface’ seems too snowflake-y and too PC, but it’s important to think about the implications of it 20 years in the future, and consider how the internet is evolving, and what this performance of race online can mean for future generations who live solely in the digital world.” Following this train of thought, in the video, Mbowe features a staggering quote by 16 year old Hunger Games actress Amandla Stenberg: “What would America be like if we loved Black people as much as we love Black culture?” Mbowe points to this question as an

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important piece in the digital blackface debate, best articulated by the example of Megan McCain using memes that feature Black creators to express her feelings online, but also speaking in opposition to Black Lives Matter on TV. This disconnect is the exact reason why digital blackface is problematic, and creates space between the performance and the people behind them. “In America there’s a lengthy history of Black people entertaining the masses. And after years of being written as less than human in the law, it’s going to boil over into this time period, where we now have racialized Black people saying, ‘Are we not human beings? Or are we just entertainers?’ All of these things are connected, all of these things are related, and because of that, you have to consider the implications of something as simple as your meme or using AAVE in a twitter post. Expanding on Stenberg’s original question, “what would it be like if you saw racialized Black people as people like you, instead of sources of entertainment? Or sources of oppression?” In all of their videos, Mbowe’s main message is for people to just listen with an open mind and consider the issue

“YOU HAVE TO CONSIDER THE IMPLICATIONS OF SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS YOUR MEME OR USING AAVE IN A TWITTER POST.”

they’re talking about that week. When discussing divisive and complicated topics like digital blackface, Mbowe isn’t expecting people to change their entire world because of a YouTube video, but instead to say to themselves, “How does this relate to the way I behave in my own life? How does this impact the way that I ‘internet’?” As our society moves increasingly more online, we must all discern how to become good digital citizens, and act respectfully and mindfully in online spaces the same way we would in the physical world. What kind of memes and gifs do you use to express your feelings? What kind of people and performances do they feature? What do you think this says about you and the way you interact with the digital world? Be sure to subscribe to Khadija Mbowe on YouTube, as well as follow their other social media. IG: @khadija.mbowe YT: https://www.youtube.com/c/ KhadijaMbowe

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There will be moments when you will bloom fully and then wilt, only to bloom again. If we can learn anything from flowers it is that resilience is born even when we feel like we are dying.

Poem by Alex Elle

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THE REBIRTH OF KrR DESIGN

After that, Rechnitz spent her time looking for different ways to tend to the earth and help it prosper for generations to come. From extensive world travels to rural Utah, she has taken every opportunity to educate herself and in turn, her work. “I try to bridge the knowledge gap for each client and let them know that their landscaping is a long game. Environments often need time to heal from wounds of past malpractices in order to be reborn and grow with vigor and longevity again.” Rechnitz knows that taking time for her heart and soul through self-care, especially since starting her business, is essential to her success. “I walk a lot to decompress, to find inspiration, to just get lost in my neighborhood and my thoughts. I have also found an increased need to be around people out on the town these days, safely, of course. But more than anything I’ve

found salvation in the flexibility of owning my own business. If I need to take an extra two hours in the morning to clean and do laundry, I take them. If I want to work late to finish a design that I’m excited about, I do it.” Ultimately, Rechnitz wants to treat each project as a chance to create a refined landscape of rich and organic beauty, and to connect to our global ancestors and instil in her clients what they understood--that we are here as visitors to support and contribute to the symbiotic relationship with earth and sign the guest book: Sincerely, Flourished. Rechnitz operates out of Austin, TX working with residential and commercial clients. To learn more about her business, please visit www. krrdesign.com

SINCERELY, FLOURISHED

“I’ve always wanted to do something that wasn’t bad for people or the planet.” Rechnitz has gone through a few “rebirths” throughout her life, but all stemming from an appreciation for everything, a love of the natural world, and the desire to protect it. “I thought I was going to be a water rights lawyer. I got through my undergrad and decided that it wasn’t for me.”

Rechnitz would like to thank the following people and businesses for their support and contributions to her success: Joanna Rechnitz, Big Red Sun Razan & Robert Brooker William Glenn, Barton Springs Nursery Michael Alexander, Austin Plant Supply Colby Adams, Kung Fu Irrigation Max Hanes, Lung Wholesale Nursery

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THE REBIRTH OF EASTSIDE MUSIC

WE DON’T MAKE EXCUSES, WE MAKE RECORDS. “We’re in the process of trying to save the business now. Students are the fuel for our business, and after doing this for a while and being downtown, I have a pretty clear idea of who our target audience for this is — and they are all slowly creeping back into the city.” Ballentine added that the bulk of their students are folks in their thirties and forties, looking to learn a long-desired skill or seeking to reclaim childhood fame through unchained melodies. Hosting an in-person music lesson or any in-person encounter carries some level of risk even when not faced with the ramifications of a global pandemic. Ballentine and Sisler feel they have a responsibility to ensure the safety of both employees and clients alike. “I don’t think it’s my place to put people in a position where they won’t feel safe, including at my place of business. This really has to be a personal choice – including the level of risk you are willing to accept on any given day.” For those who are willing to accept the risk, including the risk of vulnerability, Eastside Music School gives them a sense of community and safe environment in which to hone their craft. Sisler plays therapist and producer to everyone that walks into

the studio. “They might not have the budget behind it to make it a #1 hit, but when they record with me, they’re in it for love and there is no one telling them that their stuff is bad. We don’t make excuses. We make records.” As our society continues to move through space and time as if trying to find a set of glasses in a dark room, Eastside Music School and Studio looks ahead one month at a time. From Ballentine’s perspective “Uncertainty is our biggest vulnerability. I lose sleep over it all the time. We want a business that works and works with long-term sustainability.” Ballentine and Sisler make the decision each day to cultivate and curate talented musicians despite the ongoing challenges the pandemic presents business owners everywhere. Eastside Music School is still one of the premier music schools in Austin and offers students and community members a chance to showcase their work through monthly open mic nights and end of semester recitals. If you’re interested in becoming a student of the school, or laying down a track with the studio, please visit: https://eastsidemusic.com/

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THE REBIRTH OF THE LITTLE GAY SHOP

TO EXIST WITHOUT JUSTIFICATION To be a hub for that creative and communal network meant making connections. In a cruel sequence of tragedies, Winter Storm Uri — the February 2021 deep-freeze that rocked Texas’ power grid and general infrastructure — created one more aspect of a hellacious 18 months to address. The advantage of being a historicallydisadvantaged community is that trauma is nothing new. The strength of the LGBT+ community helped The Little Gay Shop and its patrons to weather the storm. Being discriminated against and attacked for their sexuality and self-identity led to support and actionable organizations to prevent more tragedy. Networks of people are created to give aid to those in times of need, because at one point, every queer person has had their “coming out” moment.

When local communities become the main source of support in times of need, the need for a community to have established, defined areas becomes apparent. But through their networking and through the community that was fostered in the early months of their shop, Galicz saw the reality of a tethered community become evident.

Trauma can kill or galvanize. As the world’s traumas unfolded in 2020 and continue to unfold into 2021, from the pandemic and ice storm into horrific examples of police brutality, political unrest, social media intoxication and the reality of our economic system’s exploits, the only thing that held was the people fighting together to make it through.

“The perseverance and the care we have for one another, to see people working together and working for each other, it’s something that is not unique to the gay community but is a core tennet of our community,” Galicz said. “We were here to help each other out and feel comfortable. It’s continued to grow and expand and that’s been exciting to watch.”

“What makes our community special is that we treat each other like family,” Galicz said. “To see so many people coming out of the pandemic with successful small businesses is inspiring, and we are excited and proud to foster people, to provide a space for that,” Galicz said. “Obviously not everyone can afford a storefront or a studio space, but we can allow people to be seen.”

“THE PERSEVERANCE AND THE CARE WE HAVE FOR ONE ANOTHER, TO SEE PEOPLE WORKING TOGETHER AND WORKING FOR EACH OTHER, IT’S SOMETHING THAT IS NOT UNIQUE TO THE GAY COMMUNITY BUT IS A CORE TENNET OF OUR COMMUNITY”

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MANIFESTING THE DREAM

THAT KILLED THE THOUGHT When the pandemic stopped all normalities we’ve come accustomed to, when it left us without the interactions and events that colored the pages of rote life, maybe that’s the time you decided to delve deeper into your passions and start looking into how best to manifest them.

knowing that how we feel is based on the thoughts we alone dictate, but it then opens us to the negative thoughts and emotions that can just as easily attack the feel-good we manifest in our minds. And castles made of sand slip into the sea.

You thought about them. Long and tirelessly, you thought about all the ways in which your idea would manifest itself into a world of your choosing. Dreams took the place of bars and concerts, of going into an office or sharing your creative passions with the life-soaked breath of another human — god, remember humans? — and now you’re here to think about what a successful manifestation of beautiful thoughts will look like. Manifesting is not the act of thinking. But thinking is important. Thinking is how we make sure that our actions are in line with our goals, that we don’t waste energy and time on things that don’t take us closer to the destination our thoughts fall back on. When we allow our thoughts to fully dictate our emotions, we fall into the trap of believing that emotion is the only thing that matters. How we feel becomes less important than why we feel it, what causes it. That trap lies in the fact that our thoughts are completely our own and under our control. There’s comfort in

To manifest is to create. Make certain. Manifesting is taking mood boards and rough drafts and squeezing them as tightly and for as long as possible to get something out of them — something tangible. To manifest is to make true. It’s hard, tedious, and it’s scary because it takes the perfect thoughts that are immune to the outside world and leaves no imagination to its actual state. Again: To manifest is to work. It’s the part of the “glamorous” artist lifestyle that no one wants to bring up, because the thought of working means to stop thinking. Creators are dreamers by nature, and to stop dreaming feels, well, wrong. It can feel like a betrayal of our core driving force: thought. But keep thinking. Inspiration and motivation are crucial; it’s the roadmap to which you’ll be following. But from there, determine that you will spend one hour

“FAILURE. CRASHING, CRUSHING FAILURES THAT HELP EDUCATE AND ILLUMINATE.”

every day, six days a week, taking the time to put all the thoughts and inspirations and motivations into a tangible form of your art. The days and time frame is arbitrary, but your art isn’t, and it will never see the light of day until you are able to commit physical, tangible time out of your day to create it. Then rest. One day a week, take time away from the project to reconsider it and scrutinize just why it is you want to spend a day’s worth of labor every week on this one thing. Spend that time finding the next piece of inspiration from life, experiencing something that needs to be understood and transmitted to the masses, or just to yourself, and come back to the work with fresh eyes and deeper context for the reason you started in the first place. Can’t come up with a reason? Perfect: You failed, and that’s the absolute most important part of creating. Failure. Crashing, crushing failures that help educate and illuminate. It’s the scariest word for any creator to confront, and why most people with a creative spark fail to ever act upon it. You need to accept that most pieces of art you create will fail and never live up to your expectations. To fail is to try, and each failure will bring you one step closer to manifesting the art you thought of, manifesting it through the discarded scraps of grey matter. Think of each failure as a biopsy: why it failed matters, and learning from each failure takes the fear out of your next failure. Your successes will not be measured as a tally against your failures. The success will come from taking the moments you could have spent imagining the art and turning those moments into time spent honing the craft of your choosing, the times when no one will care whether you succeed or fail. It’s going to be lonely; that’s okay. Your joy must come from the solitude and the growth you

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THE REBIRTH OF BABY STORME

BABY STORME WHAT DOES “SELF-CARE” MEAN TO YOU? Sleeping. A whole lot of sleeping. And working as hard as I can to achieve my goals. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOUR AUDIENCE DOESN’T KNOW ABOUT HOW YOU GOT TO WHERE YOU ARE TODAY? I think people do know this, but I really did start from nothing, and I still am coming up from nothing. I’m first generation. My parents are Nigerian immigrants. Anything you see me do, anything you see me make, or accomplish, just know that I’ve done it so far with no help. But I’m still going! Follow Baby Storme: TikTok @babystorme Instagram @babystorme

THE REBIRTH OF INIKO

INIKO WOULD YOU EVER GO BACK TO LIFE/ CREATION BEFORE THE PANDEMIC? If I wanted to go back to the way things were, I’d be abandoning the person I am today.I wouldn’t be this person if it weren’t for all of the shit I went through in 2020. It would mean that I didn’t learn anything. So no. I wouldn’t go back. I wouldn’t change a thing. No matter how painful it was. WHAT DOES “SELF-CARE” MEAN TO YOU? Self-care to me, means to show myself the same kind of love I would show someone that I am intimate with. I’d get myself gifts, take baths, watch something I enjoy, be my own shoulder to cry on. Self care is really just learning to be okay with being by myself. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOUR AUDIENCE DOESN’T KNOW ABOUT HOW YOU GOT TO WHERE YOU ARE TODAY? I had to bet on myself. I had to look at myself as a product to sell. And I realized that for a while, I was selling myself short. And it took the pandemic to realize my worth. So I started putting the work to match my worth. Follow Iniko: TikTok @in.iko Instagram @in.iko

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THE REBIRTH OF MUSES ESCAPE

THE MUSES OF OUR ESCAPE

WOULD YOU EVER GO BACK TO LIFE & CREATION BEFORE THE PANDEMIC? Is there life before the pandemic? WHAT DOES “SELF-CARE” MEAN TO YOU? A luscious slice of opulent chocolate cake followed by a perfect martini, heavy on the vermouth, and a good ole evening of karaoke in a bar filled with people that dislike you except your one ride-ordie friend who is also butchering that neverending Bob Dylan song with you. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOUR AUDIENCE DOESN’T KNOW ABOUT HOW YOU GOT TO WHERE YOU ARE TODAY? Syrie: I sold hotdogs in a hot dog cart for one day until the smell of sauerkraut made me throw up on a customer. Eden: I was once a miserable, overprescribed runaway with no hope for my future. Gwen: None of us had it easy, and that’s probably why we’re friends. You can learn more about Muses Escape events and more at musesescape.com and via Instagram @musesescape

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THE REBIRTH OF ARGOt SWIM

Social media is an important tool for Herzig, who posts about her triumphs and frustrations on Instagram beginning from when Argot grew from an idea into a real company. Before the products even existed followers were able to learn about the challenges of things such as finding a factory with fair wages and safe working conditions. “I have shared a lot of the behind the scenes and struggles, just telling the story of how something goes from completely in your head to out there in the real world. People are really interested in understanding a brand’s missions and their story. They are interested in the people behind it.”

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Posts and Reels don’t capture the whole picture of the challenge of running a one-woman empire. Herzig sometimes contemplates if others grasp the realities of starting a clothing company during a pandemic and in a hyper-critical society. “I think people see me as a put-together person, which isn’t entirely not-true. I have done so many different things in my life: acting, modeling, social media, events and ultimately none of them worked for me. Each of these failures has brought me to this moment. When I experience a setback it doesn’t shake my belief in the whole vision because I told myself in the beginning that despite the setbacks I am going to make this work.”

In creating Argot, Herzig has also had to become better about caring for herself. Like many of us, Herzig had to make some changes to her self-care routine—namely, she needed to create one. Though she is often on social media, Herzig now limits her screen time. “With my life coach I realized I wasn’t taking care of myself at all. Instead of grabbing my phone in the morning, I now read and I write. After 7:00 pm there is no screen time at all. That has been difficult to maintain on some days. The writing has been the most transformative [and] has helped me remember that I am part of this process too. It’s not just about the company.” Two years ago, Herzig was standing on the edge of a high dive, wanting to jump, but held back by obligations and her own doubt. The pandemic pushed her off the precipice, changing her whole life in a matter of months. Just like diving, starting a company can be scary and overwhelming. She’s hit the water though, and taken off swimming. Herzig is currently working on new designs for Argot’s next swimwear line. You can view and purchase her beautiful swimwear at argotswim.com and via Instagram @argotswim.

DIVING IN

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BY OLIVIA FLEMING

RECLAIMING COTTAGECORE

Because of TikTok, new creative ideas are being spread across the globe with millions of people each day, and if something resonates enough, it becomes a full on trend. The “core” phenomenon has been wild to watch, as it seems like each week a new and obscure aesthetic will pop up out of nowhere. The fact that my “for you page” is full of pirates, mermaids, vampires, fairies, and mushrooms says just as much about me as it does our collective consciousness this past year. With the help of an algorithm that rewards creativity and pushing boundaries, TikTok has escalated an already bubbling turn to escapism since the world was put on pause in 2020 and we were all forced to create our own entertainment and worlds from the discomfort of our homes. To understand this “sudden shift” we must look to the past to understand it’s origins. Ultimately, the cottagecore phenomenon is just a reincarnation of pastoralism, which originated with the

Greeks and continued to cycle in and out of fashion for years, most notably finding its way to Marie Antoinette’s court in the later years of her reign. She created a faux rural cottage on the lavish grounds of the Palace of Versailles to escape royal responsibility and the impending French Revolution. While the country was falling into turmoil around her, she longed to escape to a simpler life, wearing plain white and puffy gowns, very similar to those still in fashion today. The elitism and irony of an inept Queen longing to be a simple milkmaid on a farm is not lost on many who critique the cottagecore movement as tone-deaf today, saying it’s tasteless for wealthy and privileged people to be able to don the aesthetic of those less fortunate and play dress-up as some of the lowest paid and least respected members of our society (farm workers), many of whom are immigrants denied basic human rights. Truthfully, the whole idea of escaping to a cottage in

the woods and having tea parties for fairies is an unaffordable fever dream for most who fantasize about it. As cottagecore has risen to prominence it has become obvious there is a lack of diversity in how the media portrays the trend. If you look deeper than just a quick search on Pinterest, you will find countless of beautiful people of color, as well as creators of all identities, shapes, and sizes embracing the cottagecore aesthetic, but these amazing trendsetters rarely get the visibility and credit they deserve. To shed light on this discrepancy, I had the pleasure of interviewing three incredible women to talk about how they feel about and are responding to the lack of diversity shown in the cottage-core aesthetic to the general public.

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Noemie Sérieux is a Social Media Manager, pastry chef, artist, and founder of Cottagecore Black Folks (CCBF), an instagram and TikTok account that promotes Black creators in the cottagecore scene. NOEMIE, HOW DO YOU FEEL PERSONALLY CONNECTED TO THE COTTAGECORE STYLE? Well, it depends on which cottagecore style you’re talking about. Most people envision a very flowery European fashion when they think of cottagecore style. The cottage core style I grew up on was Caribbean. Our version of the puffy cottagecore dress was a long and wide cloth that could be worn as a skirt or dress. Our version of the headscarf was an intricately twisted head wrap. Cottagecore has always had this aesthetic in my mind because it’s what I grew up on. That being said I do love European cottagecore styles as well. The dresses always reminded me of some of my favorite princesses like Snow White, Aurora and Cinderella!

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE LACK OF DIVERSITY IN THE TREND? There is no lack of diversity in the Cottagecore community. There’s a lack of awareness. The Instagram #cottagecoreblackgirls has over a thousand posts alone. I’m in a Facebook group called “cottagecore but make it curvy” with nearly forty thousand. Even CCBF, which doesn’t have a focus on the LGBT community, rebranded our whole account to be more inclusive of Black trans and non-binary followers. So the problem isn’t a lack of diversity, it’s a lack of awareness. Big platforms need to be more conscious of how they contribute to this lack of awareness. It can be easy to place blame on the algorithms which are well known for the suppression of Black content. But when this is used as an excuse to not take responsibility, they remain part of the problem. Big accounts should be aware of if they’re following any people of color, different body shapes and sizes, different styles within the aesthetic. WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO START YOUR PLATFORM CCBF? Spite. I was tired of never seeing people who looked like me in the aesthetic I felt at home in. I had a Pinterest board I had been working on for a while with pictures of Black women in the cottagecore aesthetic. One day I read a comment referring to Black people in cottagecore as ‘slavecore’. That

lit a fire in me. I downloaded all the pictures off of Pinterest and opened a new Instagram account to post them to. This is how Cottagecore Black Girls was born. The account grew quickly as more cottagecore Black women found it and sent in their pictures, which I happily posted to the account. One day a non-binary member mentioned that they wish everything were “a little less gendered”. CCBG was about to open a brother account Cottagecore Black Boys (CCBB) but that comment gave pause. After a quick community discussion and vote we discontinued CCBB and rebranded CCBG into CCBFs so all Black cottagecore individuals could find a home with this account. WHAT HAS THE RESPONSE BEEN LIKE TO THE ACCOUNT? In the beginning it was overwhelmingly positive. It was almost a shock to the senses to go from scavenging for the occasional Black creator to having them reach out and ask to be featured by the dozens! The growth, love and community poured into this account was phenomenal. Then we got a little too big for white comfort. It started with occasional ‘slavecore’ and cottagecore is a ‘European aesthetic’ comment. Even other people of color would reach out upset that we were exclusively posting Black individuals. Then came genuine hate comments and DMs, which were

difficult to receive. Now that we’ve made it clear that we are here to stay and no one will scare us off, we get almost no negative feedback like that anymore. Instead, we’ve been dealing with a more nefarious type of anti-Blackness: infiltration of Black spaces. CCBF is known for getting most of our content directly from our tags. This makes it easier for Black creators to be seen by us, since Black-centric hashtags tend to get overtaken by non-Black creators using hashtag generators carelessly. But recently there has been a trend of white women tagging our account directly in their posts as a way to get more views. Essentially inserting their white faces in a Black space. But our community is tight-knit and quick to correct wayward behavior of our visitors. We don’t let the adversity get in the way of celebrating our community and the beautiful creators who help make it so special. Follow Noemie and CCBF on socials: IG: @noemieserieux @ cottagecoreblackfolks TikTok: @noemieserieux @ cottagecoreblackfolks

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Onyi Moss is an accomplished fashion blogger, musician, director, and influencer with impeccable style and incredible visuals. Her film series “Black Women Are Soft Too” on YouTube features different Black women that embrace their femininity, showing the world that, well, Black women are soft too. I HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING YOUR BLOG FOR A FEW MONTHS AND ABSOLUTELY ADORE YOUR VISUALS AND UNIQUE STYLE. HOW DID YOU GET INTO FASHION BLOGGING? The story of how I got into fashion blogging is a bit of an accidental one. I moved to the UK on my 22nd birthday to pursue a career in finance. I qualified as a chartered accountant (ACCA), but failed to gain relevant employment as I was lacking in UK work experience. While waiting to catch a lucky break, I found myself binge watching reality TV shows to take my mind off being unemployed. This would turn out to be a blessing in disguise as I stumbled upon “Fashion Bloggers” on E!, a show that focused on women who told beautiful stories using imagery. This moment reignited my love for art and set me on a path that would change my life for good. Rather than pay my rent that month, I opted to buy a camera instead and began teaching myself photography by watching YouTube tutorials and putting a lot of what I learned into practice. Not long after, I gained employment in a bank working in finance.

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I continued to harness my passion for photography alongside being in fulltime employment. I utilized most of my evenings and weekends practicing and sharing my work online. Soon enough brands began to notice me and were willing to pay me to create content for them. And in the summer of 2017, I quit my role at the bank to focus on being a full-time creative. I have worked with the likes of Gucci, Carolina Herrera, Giorgio Armani, Penhaligon’s London, and Viktor & Rolf, to name a few. I was a brand ambassador for Pandora UK in 2019, which was also the same year I won the “Cosmopolitan Best Fashion Influencer Award”. I have since expanded upon my work releasing my debut single “In Your Eyes” in January 2021 with an EP to follow. I also debuted my first film series titled “Black Women Are Soft Too” which focuses on highlighting the softness that exists in black women thereby relaying their humanity. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONAL STYLE? I would describe my personal style as timeless and romantic. I have a hashtag I use on Instagram to share my style which is #MyTimelessRomance DO YOU FEEL PERSONALLY CONNECTED TO THE “COTTAGECORE” AESTHETIC/ TREND/LIFESTYLE? AND IF SO, WHY? I’d say my style lends itself to the cottagecore aesthetic as I’m a true vintage lover often surrounded by

vintage pieces. As for a connection, I’ve not focused on that but more so self expression in a particular moment. And if it so happens to lean into cottagecore, I’m happy to share my own version of it as I see it. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE LACK OF DIVERSITY/REPRESENTATION IN THE COTTAGECORE TREND ONLINE? When you type in cottagecore on Google, 99.9% of the images that come up are of white people alone. I for one know and follow a number of Black women in the cottagecore scene and know there’s a community of black women in cottagecore and yet the bias wreaks through with Black women at a disadvantage when it comes to visibility. WHAT WAS THE INSPIRATION BEHIND, AND WHAT MOTIVATED YOU TO CREATE, YOUR “BLACK WOMEN ARE SOFT TOO” FILM SERIES. The series came about because I noticed from personal experience and other Black Women like myself, that Black Women are usually portrayed as being attached to their trauma, and in most instances doesn’t leave room to celebrate their other sides, which includes softness. The “Strong Black Woman” narrative, which is always being pushed, taps into her trauma but without any recourse to ease her pain and struggle. Black women are usually left out of discussions that cater to softness, like wellness and luxury. As if to say we can’t partake in it. So much

so it’s created this perception where many Black women don’t even see themselves deserving of a softer life. “Black Women Are Soft Too” aims to change this narrative by highlighting the softness that exists in Black women despite any trauma they may have faced. And like every other woman, we too deserve to rest in softness. CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT SOME OF THE WOMEN YOU’VE FEATURED SO FAR? Yes. So far I’ve featured two women. The first being Dominique St-Germain (@karayiib). She’s a lovely artist from Haiti whose work very much lends itself to the cottagecore aesthetics. She’s the creator of #littlewanderersdiary. I chose to feature her first because she embodies softness. The sort that many media outlets don’t tend to associate with Black women. Dominique is very in tune with her soft side. She embraces nature, life and her passions. And she does it so effortlessly. Marie Zoumanigui is an actor based in New York. She’s a Black woman who embodies softness too. Like Dominique, she embraces nature, too. She’s surrounded by many beautiful and flourishing house plants all thanks to her care. Her soft side radiates and makes me want to tap into more of my soft side too, and I hope encourages other Black women to do the same. WHAT’S COMING UP NEXT FOR YOU? I’ve just released my second

single, “Miracle Man”, which is the story of how I broke free from a nauseous relationship. It’s available on all streaming platforms ffm.to/ miracleman.ois Follow Onyi Moss on socials, check out her beautiful blog, watch her films, and listen to her music. IG: @mossonyi Website: mossonyi.com Films: youtube.com/mossonyi Music: mossonyi.com/music/

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Lauren Foster is an incredible cottagecore creator who has garnered a large following on TikTok with her dreamy short films and outfit videos. Her style is beautifully feminine and a unique blend of vintage, fantasy, princesscore, academia, and of course cottagecore. LAUREN, HOW DO YOU FEEL PERSONALLY CONNECTED TO THE COTTAGECORE STYLE? Cottagecore has always resonated deeply with me. The strong connections to nature, simplistic living, being reliant on oneself, and general peacefulness of the aesthetic have always been near and dear to my heart. A huge part of the aesthetic is also being ethically and environmentally conscious, which is fundamentally important and a personal passion of mine.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE LACK OF DIVERSITY IN THE TREND? When this aesthetic first arrived on the scene it was very Eurocentric but I’ve been increasingly seeing people of color highlighted in cottagecore more and more. The cottagecore community in itself is very inclusive, at least in my opinion, with its members always eager to educate and accommodate. WHAT HAS YOUR EXPERIENCE BEEN AS A BLACK WOMAN ON SOCIAL MEDIA? Being a Black woman on social media is a double-edged sword. Personally, the community I have chosen to surround myself with is fiercely supportive, but when my content ends up in the general population of the internet it can be met with ridicule and criticism. For the most part it’s a positive experience, but taking social media breaks is so important for mental

health as to not get wrapped up in ingesting so many opinions of yourself. I LOVE YOUR TIKTOK VIDEO SAYING YOUR HUSBAND HELPED YOU FIND THE BEAUTY IN YOURSELF. CAN YOU TELL US MORE ABOUT THAT JOURNEY? To be honest, I still don’t find myself particularly beautiful, but he has helped me feel more comfortable expressing my authentic self, which has helped me see that I don’t need to always be perfect or confine myself to one box. Having his partnership and support behind me has been life changing.

“Loud”, “Aggressive”, and it’s been so detrimental to so many Black women who feel as though they need to fit into that box or else they are ostracized if they don’t. Those pre-judgements also spill over into preconceived notions of Black women from employers, potential partners, friends, and colleges-- and Black are not a monolith. They are multi-faceted human beings who deserve the space to express themselves as they see fit. Follow Lauren on socials: IG: @enchanted_noir TikTok @enchanted_noir

I’M INTERVIEWING ONYI MOSS WHO CREATED A FILM SERIES CALLED “BLACK WOMEN ARE SOFT TOO”. DO YOU CONNECT WITH THAT MESSAGE? Absolutely. I think for too long the media has portrayed Black women as “Strong”, “Resilient”, “Abrasive”,

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NO UNIVERSAL RECIPES BY PATRICIA STEPANIUK

As I sit and type this article, my mind is racing between all of the things I need to get done before attempting to go to bed at a reasonable hour — put away the laundry, make the overnight oats, respond to the emails, and also

Yes, I did get the assignment 6 weeks ago. Yes, I did kick the can down the road with the same force as an NFL punter. I give you this context to hopefully give comfort in the fact that someone writing about mindfulness isn’t always that mindful. That said, I have spent the last 6 weeks thinking about the best way to deliver this information to a group of people I’ve never met and who each have different needs when it comes to adding a dash of mindfulness to the cocktail that is their lives. To start, according to the American Psychological Association (APA), mindfulness refers to psychological state of awareness, the practices that promote this awareness, a mode of processing information and a character trait. Another paper describes mindfulness as “a process that leads to a mental state characterized by nonjudgmental awareness of the present moment experience, including one’s sensations, thoughts, bodily states, consciousness, and the environment, while encouraging openness, curiosity, and acceptance.1 Simply put, mindfulness is a broad sweeping term that can be internalized, and therefore personalized, to the individual. That said, across my research, the majority of mindfulness practices ask the individual to stop, stay still, breathe, and observe. You might have expected a list of different techniques, such as journaling, meditating, taking a walk, etc., but unfortunately this is not that list.

It’s okay if your thoughts wander to that impending deadline or you get an itch on your nose, in fact it has been stated that mind wandering is ubiquitous 7. The point is to acknowledge and allow those things to pass through your mind so that you may return back to the start and observe more things. For me, mindfulness comes from my infrequent yoga practice with one of my favorite, well-known yogis, Adriene Mishler who often chants the mantra find what feels good. In my practice, that has become a conversation with my body to “do this more”, “a little to the left”, “under no circumstances will we be doing that today.” This internal call and response has in turn allowed me to navigate the world around me more easily and be aware of how my actions and movements impact the space in which I fill. You came to this article looking for a list of tips and tricks to be more mindful in 2022, but the reality is there isn’t a universal recipe to follow. Mindfulness is a personal decision that is allowed to shift and change with the seasons. Mindfulness is not linear, but rather a slow build to something that works for the individual. Mindfulness is a choice to be made in each moment and cherished for as long as it serves a purpose. Behan, C. (2020). The benefits of meditation and mindfulness practices during times of crisis such as COVID-19. Irish Journal of Psychological Medicine, 37(4), 256-258. doi:10.1017/ipm.2020.38

Bishop SR. Mindfulness: A Proposed Operational Definition. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice. 2004;11(3):230–241. doi: 10.1093/clipsy/bph077 Segal ZV, Williams JMG, Teasdale JD. Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy for depression: A new approach to

To say that the pandemic has drawn attention to the need for mindfulness in our society is a gross understatement, and if we really look, we can see that it was just the catalyst in something already brewing. A 2020 study from University of Cambridge found that healthcare workers who incorporated meditation practices 2 showed improvements in anxiety, depression, and pain scores . To go deeper, meditation using focused attention (focusing on one stimuli, like a sound, for the duration of your practice) has been shown to reduce anxiety 3, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder 4, stress 5 blood pressure, cortisol levels, and other biological markers of stress, in a variety of populations 6.

preventing relapse. New York, London: Guilford Press; 2002 Montero-Marin, J, Garcia-Campayo, J, Pérez-Yus, MC, Zabaleta-Del-Olmo, E, Cuijpers, P (2019). Meditation techniques. Psychological Medicine 49(13), 2118–2133. Khusid, MA, Vythilingam, M (2016). The emerging role of mindfulness meditation as effective selfmanagement strategy, Part 1: clinical implications for depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and anxiety. Military Medicine 181(9), 961–968. Juul, L, Pallesen, KJ, Bjerggaard, M, Nielsen, C, Fjorback, LO (2020). A pilot randomised trial comparing a mindfulness-based stress reduction course, a locally-developed stress reduction intervention and a waiting list control group in a real-life municipal health care setting. BMC Public Health 20(1), 409 Pascoe, MC, Thompson, DR, Jenkins, ZM, Ski, CF (2017). Mindfulness mediates the physiological markers of

According to Segal, Williams, and Teasdale, sitting meditation and yoga can aid individuals in becoming less reactive to unpleasant internal phenomena and turn to a more reflective state of mind. Apps like Headspace and Balance and websites like Mindful.org all give the same starting tips: take a seat, set a timer, and observe.

stress: systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Psychiatric Research 95, 156–178 Killingsworth MA, Gilbert DT. A wandering mind is an unhappy mind. Science. 2010;330(6006):932. doi: 10.1126/science.1192439.

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I took a step back from the ruins of my life and tried to come to terms with all that was left. Like abstract art, there I was, scattered across the floor. And what if I didn’t put the pieces back like I always do? What if I threw them away completely? Start again from scratch. Sow a new start. My parents grew up as farmers in Mexico. As early as 8 years old, they were out on the fields sowing and planting crops under the blazing sun of San Luis Potosi. When I was younger, I didn’t understand the strength that work took. Though I don’t envy my parent’s past lives, I envy their ability to give birth to something new. Seeds of love. Elote for wisdom. But how to begin with all those parts? How to begin? Begin Begin Begin The thing I was never good at. I always wanted to jump ahead to the meat of things, so selfishly. I’d always finger my way to the last few pages of a book to have an idea of what I was to expect. But I no longer wanted to be the reader, pressed between the pages like dried flowers. I wanted to sprout out. Because my parents taught me there was always the sun, Begging to drench me in its light. Something so necessary if I was to grow. I wanted the happy ending, Something not everyone gets. I ached for those warm sunsets over the rolling hills. So I stick my hands in the dirt

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BY MELINA PADRON

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