REVIEWS
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Transcendence Directed by Wally Pfister Starring Johnny Depp, Rebecca Hall, Paul Bettany
old idea to upload his consciousness onto a quantum computer system. With the aforementioned terrorist group R.I.F.T closing in however, Caster’s now digital consciousness is uploaded hurriedly online where it becomes something of an omniscient entity, everywhere and anywhere at once. I would have been happy had the film’s premise restrained itself at this point in the story; Caster’s consciousness is online, he’s able to operate and infiltrate any device connected to a modem and at this point, the audience is uncertain as to whether he is a light or dark presence. That shizz is scary and compelling enough as is. However, they take it a few steps further, introducing self-healing henchmen, self-repairing electronics and whole stack of other ridiculous, what-in-tarnation moments that made me sadly shake my head.
Reviewed by Matthew Cattin It’s always frustrating to see a decent film idea squandered by its own lofty ambitions and unfortunately, Johnny Depp’s latest (and third consecutive) film flop Transcendence plugs direct into this trap. Initial expectations were very high – I’m big on my scifi and judging by the early trailers, this seemed one of substance. However, upon release, the unfortunate film was slandered by critics and my excitement dwindled. I therefore took my seat in the cinema with rather low expectations, but open to be proven wrong. Transcendence starts strong. Depp plays the happily married scientist Will Caster, a front runner in the AI revolution and apparent nice guy whose life is cut tragically short when a radical terrorist attack gives him a death sentence in the form of radiation poisoning. With a month to live, his wife Evelyn (Rebecca Hall) convinces him and his bestie Max (Paul Bettany) it’d be a grand
The Other Woman Directed by Nick Cassavetes Starring: Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann, Kate Upton
From there on, Transcendence is… Rather shit. A shame really since it definitely had potential to be a solid scifi flick. The performances are nothing special either. Johnny Depp is rather mechanical, even before he’s uploaded, and portrays none of the emotion I’d expect from somebody facing a premature and inevitable death. Morgan Freeman plays himself, again, to no great effect - I swear casting agencies just throw him in for habit’s sake these days… Rebecca Hall and Paul Bettany were decent, but nothing spectacular - this being, however, more likely the fault of direction than any shortcomings of their own. After a fairly slow (by blockbuster standards) beginning, I expected the film to tilt to the other extremity Hollywood so enjoys, unbelievable action, unlikely coincidences and uncanny saves (think Avengers). However, the film didn’t really give us much on that front either… After an hour of build-up, it supplied a spot of underwhelming action and a shitty ending to top it all off. Unimpressive to say the least. I don’t regret the two hours I spent on Transcendence; It was a rather thought provoking concept. But that doesn’t mean it was any good… It wasn’t.
warming if pulled off right and comedies with female leads I generally find funnier than ones with male leads. But this movie just takes years of genre fine tuning and throws it all away in two hours of plotless, unsatisfying screeching. Cameron Diaz is Carly, an apparently successful lawyer who falls in love with who she thinks is the perfect man. But when she pays a visit to his house she discovers that he has a wife, the easily stressed and uneven Kate played by Leslie Mann. After about an hour of yelling at each other, getting drunk, yelling at each other, getting drunk and yelling at each other, the two learn there is a third woman that cheater Mark is seeing, and after ambushing her on the beach as she randomly runs in slow motion, the three get drunk and yell at each other before deciding to get revenge on Mark with only 45 minutes left.
Reviewed by Ethan Sills Warning: if you enjoyed this movie, it is best you put the magazine down, walk away and don’t read on, as you aren’t going to like the next 400 words. All those with taste left? Good. I shall continue. This is perhaps the most dreadfully long, tediously uneventful movie I have watched all year. That is not because it is a female led rom-com, it is because it is an awful female led rom-com. Rom-coms can be hilarious and heart
I can sum up my feelings in one word: urrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh. I was hoping that it would be funny, or at least bad in a good way. Sadly, I wasted nearly two hours on this unfunny, boring, dumb excuse of a comedy. I don’t know when unintelligible screeching became funny, but this movie makes great use of that instead of dialogue, in the same way it uses dozens of musical montages to avoid telling its story. The people involved seem to think there is an empowering story here, but most of said empowerment is brushed over, Kate Upton’s character Amber is labelled ‘The Boobs’ and does nothing, and their final takedown is sped over with more drinking and three more montages. And laxative jokes, seriously? You would have thought our society had matured past those… Pure and simply, just do not watch this. I am sure some people will enjoy it (the elderly man in front of me was having a hoot while his wife was much less amused), and while Diaz and Mann manage to make their characters work, there are better movies in this genre to see instead and better things to spend your money on. Buy a knife and stab yourself in the ear drums instead – it will be a much more pleasant experience than enduring this.