God is Good Even in the Hard Times

TIDINGS WINTER 2019

GOD IS GOOD EVEN IN THE HARD TIMES

WINTER 2019

TIDINGS Asbury Tidings is a quarterly publication designed to tell stories of lives being transformed by the power of Jesus Christ.

You may read back issues by visiting www.asburytulsa.org.

CONTENTS More......................................................................... 4 I Am Reminded..................................................... 6 Believe in His Power........................................... 10 A Father’s Blessing.............................................. 13

STEPS TO CONNECT Our discipleship steps help you connect with others so you can become a disciple, a follower of Christ. As a disciple, you will learn about God, the Bible, sharing the gospel and how your faith applies to life.

At Asbury, we believe that following Jesus is the key to life because He forgives our sin and gives us eternal life.

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STEP

IT STARTS WITH WORSHIP (EVERY SUNDAY 8, 9:15, 11 AM)

Through worship, God will stir your heart to take the next steps.

Give it to God........................................................ 14 Set Free by Giving Up........................................ 17 A Song to Sing...................................................... 20 For You Are Loved............................................... 23

NEWCOMER MEAL We would love for you to join the Asbury family.

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STEP

The meal will be hosted by Pastor Tom and held once a month. When you join Asbury, you will be asked to commit to uphold the church with your prayers, presence, gifts, service and witness.

The Good Life Redefined.................................. 26 A Grateful Heart ................................................. 30 Facing Your Fears ............................................... 32

DISCIPLESHIP

God’s Amazing Plan............................................ 34

Adult Discipleship Communities

Gratitude................................................................ 38

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STEP

Living “life together.” Your community group will help you develop a close personal relationship with Jesus through prayer, fellowship, care, hospitaliy, biblical learning and missional outreach.

Special Announcements................................... 41

Helping Others Follow Jesus!

We need you! Do you have a story of what God has done in your life?

Please contact us and tell us a little bit about what God has done. We will all be encouraged by hearing stories of what God is doing in the lives of those around us.

Are you a writer or someone who enjoys writing? The Communications Department is always looking for someone to do an interview and write a story for us for Tidings.

Have you noticed that we’ve been making some changes in Tidings? Please give us your feedback—both good and bad. Email kmains@asburytulsa.org or call 918.392.1140.

Editor: Asbury Communications Department 918.392.1140 kmains@asburytulsa.org Graphic Design: Belinda Wilson bwilson@asburytulsa.org Photographers: Mark Moore (mark moore.photo.net) Guest Contributors: Tammy Beals, Vicki Cease, Jeff Cline, Jordan Cox, Mindy Dennison, Lucienda Denson, Marla Johnson, Melissa Lenhart, Rob Loeber, Sara Pinkepank, Lisa Witcher

A WORD FROM TOM HARRISON “If God is good, why all this suffering?” This is the key argument many have against Christians. I believe the Judeo-Christian worldview is the ONLY one that can explain it. We understand evil and suffering result from God allowing human beings to be more than robots by giving us free will. The “fall” (Genesis 3) resulted. Paul said: “Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned.” (Romans 5:12) When someone we love suffers, it becomes deeply personal. Our suffering heightens our sensitivity. After his wife died, C.S. Lewis wrote, “If I had really cared as I thought I did about the sorrows of the world, I should not have been so overwhelmed when my own sorrow came.”

It is only natural to ask, “Why doesn’t God do something about it?” Christians reply, “He has!”

Our story always leads to Jesus. God moved into our neighborhood in Jesus and gave us an entirely different worldview. As the “first Adam” (Genesis 3) brought so much suffering, pain and death, so the “second Adam” (Romans 5:13-21) brought redemption, healing and eternal life.

It is obvious we bring pain by making bad choices. We also suffer from the bad choices of others. God granting humans freedom creates blessings and curses. All of us have a mixture of both.

I believe we must have a theology of suffering. We need to be able to explain it. I also believe, “If your theology doesn’t work in the emergency room, it is insufficient.”

Scripture states that God can redeem our suffering and use it for a greater good. That is the story of Joseph in Genesis, the story of Jesus and the witness of the early church.

Nobody likes to endure suffering, but many say that when they hit the very bottom in life, they found, in Jesus, it was solid. If we live long enough, we will probably get there, too. We need to anticipate that. We need to “lower our expectations and raise our commitment.”

Our expectations often bring disappointment. Life seldom turns out as we expect. There are always twists and turns. Inevitably, we suffer. Life is suffering. The sooner we understand that, the sooner we can try to solve its problems.

This “Tidings” is powerful. Several courageous people have shared about suffering. Their vulnerability reveals insights into God’s goodness. You may relate to some of what you read. If so, I pray you will find comfort. Christian community reminds us that “God is good, all the time; and all the time, God is good.” We trust Him to redeem our suffering and give it meaning for the greater good. We will also see it played out in our sermon series, “God is Good.” Joseph, who suffered unjustly, gave one of the greatest perspectives in Scripture: “’As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones.’ Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.” (Genesis 50:20-21) We are reminded of God’s saving acts every Sunday morning. Join us in our worshipping community at 8 , 9:15 or 11 am each Sunday morning. We want to help you and others follow Jesus.

In Christ

Dr. Tom Harrison Senior Pastor 3

MORE… For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 There’s a church in Colorado that claims the motto, “Crossroads: where no one has a past, only a future…”

It’s an invitation each man and woman who encounters Christ at a literal crossroads in life can accept.

Celebrate Recovery, a support program for those of us who have grown tired of wrestling with life’s problems on our own, embraces a similar philosophy empowering wounded lives to begin again with grace, with hope, and with

REDEMPTION. “Skip”, a sweet soul who has wrestled with addiction and a fear of abandonment, credits Celebrate Recovery for his relationship with Christ and what he calls his “more.” Like many of us, his addiction provided an escape from the pain of old wounds. As we spoke, Skip would pause as he mentally met the old demons he once allowed to take residence in his heart, and often his voice would trail off as old scar tissue stretched and tore.

Sometimes when we experience healing, we still carry the pain, or at least the memory of the original pain.

When I asked him about his encounter with God, his God story, one of those silent sobs walked across his heart before he began. Skip told a story about wrestling with selfishness as a high school athlete.

Talented as a basketball player, he could take ownership of the court for his own glory. His high school coach realized his leadership potential and his hardcourt ball savvy and privately petitioned him to become coachable.

“If you do everything I ask you to, we will make the [state] tournament and you will be [named] all-state.

You are a leader, if you do all that I ask – everyone else will too.” Skip acknowledges that he complied, ever be it spitefully; nevertheless, he complied, and the team did compete in the state basketball tournament, and Skip was indeed named to the All-State basketball team.

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by Lisa Witcher

This encounter still breaks Skip because his God-story is anchored in that moment that occurred 35 years ago. When he began attending Celebrate Recovery in 2011 battling alcoholism, his objective was just to stop drinking. That was his goal. He attended on Monday nights for a year and a half – still drinking – still attending just to become sober, still chasing relationships with anyone or thing but God.

Driving one night, Skip remembers hearing God’s voice, “Do you remember that day in practice?”

Skip knew exactly the encounter to which the voice was referring. The voice went on, “Skip, that was Me – I did that to prepare you for what’s about to take place.”

God’s voice continued, “If you do everything I ask you to do – you will have more than you could ever dream.”

Healing, a desire for purity, and sobriety came – but not right away and not easily. Part of the process of Celebrate Recovery is wrestling long enough with the pain in order to name its origin; part of the process is being disciplined and accepting consequences.

Skip experienced each of these, persevered, and has gratefully been sober for the past 6½ years – but through the pain, through the process, he didn’t forget God’s voice and worked toward doing all that God asked him to do.

“What God has done in my life is nothing short of a miracle,” Skip quietly added.

“Celebrate Recovery gave me a window into a relationship with God, to understanding who God is, who I am in Christ and what that all entails. As my recovery progressed, my relationship with Jesus deepened, and life became much more than just ‘not drinking’.”

In our conversation, Skip pivoted, he paused and spoke about the crossroads of pain, of being disciplined early in his sobriety, and I heard Skip as a young man. Old

wounds, fears of abandonment, threatened Skip as old voices questioning Skip’s worthiness tried to regain residence in his mind. Drinking was not an option; Skip had a decision to make – to seek God in His word and prayer. “I cling to Jeremiah 29:11 – praying scripture, knowing that God would get me through and that He had something for me on the other side.”

On the other side of his crossroads, Skip found the “more” God had promised that night in the car. He had found the strength to wrestle old voices; he had found discipline in sobriety, he had found a relationship with Jesus, and then he found a life-long friend and help-mate, his wife. Skip’s voice broke with joy when he offered, “– she was the MORE – she is a God thing, that is for sure.”

Celebrate Recovery at Asbury has played a huge role in Skip’s life. Now he has the privilege of pouring himself into the lives of others. “Giving back,” he says, “is like Alcoholics Anonymous on steroids. As a sponsor – I get to be there to meet newcomers -- to discipline and guide – because it is not just about not drinking.” It’s about the more.

Skip is now the servant leader his high school basketball coach called out, and as a result of Skip’s faithfulness to God and his role as a member of the Celebrate Recovery team, others will follow and experience more. Just like Coach said.

Mentoring young men keeps Skip in touch with what initially brought him to Asbury, to Celebrate Recovery.

It allows him to continue celebrating his recovery, his victory over his past, and his ability to help others – because “alcohol” – or fill in the blank with anything that creates a barrier between us and Christ – is just a symptom of some hurt deeper in our hearts.

When we remove the barrier–the addiction, or help someone else in their fight–we are still chasing the more, the hope and the future, the plans God promises for us to prosper and not be harmed.

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I

REMINDED AM

by Jordan Cox

God met us in a dark, ultrasound room on January 6, 2015. We didn’t know we would need Him so desperately or the curve our lives were getting ready to take. My husband, Matthew, and I walked in with excited emotions and a full list of expectant parent to-do’s. I was 20-weeks pregnant with baby number three, and a 4-year-old Gavin and 2-year-old Harper were waiting for us at home. We closed our eyes as the ultrasound tech scanned our unborn baby, making sure not to spoil our plans of keeping the baby’s gender a secret. The tech and I talked about gender reveal parties and various other non-scary things. She left with the promise that she’d be back in a minute.

Our “normal” was interrupted by my doctor in a white coat, walking in the ultrasound room. I knew that he wasn’t supposed to be there.

But our “normal” was interrupted by my doctor in a white coat, walking in the ultrasound room.

I knew that he wasn’t supposed to be there. He’d come in to tell us that there was a problem, that our baby whose heart we’d just heard beating through a monitor had a spine that hadn’t formed all the way. She wasn’t going to be the “normal, healthy baby” every parent wishes for. He told us words like “forever, paralysis, incurable,” all words that no one wants to hear. The condition is called Spina Bifida. It occurs when the spine stops forming inutero. Any function controlled by the un-closed portion of the spine is at risk for nerve-damage and paralysis.

Through a slew of medical nomenclature and a high-risk doctor’s consult, we were given a crash-course in this new condition. But God was there in that room and in the hours that followed.

We felt His sovereignty, and rather than feeling forgotten, we felt His plan so palpably. My friend texted me that evening Isaiah 40:26: “Look up into the heavens. Who created the stars? He brings them out like army, one after another, calling them each by name. Because of His great power and incomparable strength not a single one is missing.”

Not a single one was missing.

He hadn’t forgotten about us, and He hadn’t forgotten about our baby.

One small glimmer of hope came as we learned about a procedure that has been developed in the last 20 years that would allow doctors to go in and perform surgery on our baby while I was still pregnant and close the opening, or as they call it “defect.” It had been performed on less than 600 patients world-wide. While the surgery wouldn’t cure the condition, it had been proven to minimize some effects. The stakes were high though; it would require surgery for both me and

While the surgery wouldn’t cure the condition, it had been proven to minimize some effects. our unborn baby (who by that time we had found out was a girl), a high risk of severe prematurity and bedrest for the remainder of my pregnancy,

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and since the surgery was so complex and only done in a few hospitals throughout the U.S., I would have to remain living in the city where the surgery was performed until the baby was born. I would have to live away from my home, away from my husband and kids.

I would have to live away from my home, away from my husband and kids.

The weight that Matthew and I felt over the choice to accept surgery was enormous, as our actions would dictate the future and outcome of our baby.

But God met us there, too. On the very day that we had to give an answer to accept or decline surgery, I read the scripture Psalm 3:3 and 5 “But you, oh Lord, are a shield for me. You’re my glory and the lifter of my head…. I lie down and sleep and awake again, because the Lord sustains me.” We felt God’s presence and promise that He would sustain our daughter through the choice of surgery.

We named her Gabrielle Poppy Cox. Gabrielle means “God is my strength” and Poppy…well, Poppy is a name you simply can’t say without being happy So, on February 3, 2015, my husband and I took the hugest leap of faith of our lives. I donned a purple surgical gown, and Matthew kissed me and my belly before doctors wheeled us to an operating room at Vanderbilt Medical Center in Nashville, Tennessee.

During the next three hours, doctors opened my tummy and delivered our tiny baby girl’s hiney for 27 minutes to close her defect. They gave her stitches to close her back and then lovingly tucked her back inside of me with 13 layers of sutures and 31 staples.

We celebrate this day every year by calling it her “Butt Day” and singing Happy Birthday to her hiney.

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Our baby girl was born (again!) eight weeks later at 32 weeks gestation. She smiled when they showed her to me. She was born with a scar and the stitches still in her back from surgery. We named her Gabrielle Poppy Cox. Gabrielle means “God is my strength” and Poppy…well, Poppy is a name you simply can’t say without being happy, so we decided to project that spunkiness onto her life.

Poppy’s twice-born story continues to remind us so much about God’s love. The sacrifices our family made to offer her fetal surgery serve as

such an imperfectly human metaphor for how deep Christ’s love is for us, that He would leave heaven to offer us salvation. I am reminded of Jesus’ sacrifice when I see the scars she and I both have.

Today, Poppy is 3 years old with a twinkly spark of personality. She uses a wheelchair and is working on walking with bracing and a walker. She constantly reminds us when we try to help her, “no, I’ll help myself.” I am reminded of God’s grace when she tells me that she doesn’t want to stop trying. I’m reminded of God’s goodness in the loving arms of Matthew when he scoops up Poppy’s little body and I think of how God carried us through our own time of grief and adapting to the world of doctors, procedures, and all of the fears that go with having a differently abled child. I am reminded of God’s loving kindness in the cheers of Poppy’s older siblings, Gavin and Harper, when they encourage her on and work to include her in everything they do.

God didn’t abandon us that day in a dark ultrasound room. He lovingly came alongside us and changed our plans, and all of those events serve as a beautiful prelude to Poppy’s life, as it continues to unfold.

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BELIEVE In His Power

by Rob Loeber

Nothing prepared Nick and Laura Hawkins for the words they were about to hear. The doctor’s delivery was blunt. The anesthesia was still wearing off from his colonoscopy when Nick heard “Well, it certainly looks like cancer. We’ll be seeing you a lot more often around here.”

Nick was a healthy 39-year old with no history of cancer in his family.

The couple was stunned. Nick was an otherwise healthy 39-year old with no history of cancer in his family. Sure, he was having a few digestive issues lately, but he thought it was most likely some kind of food allergy. His primary-care physician speculated it could be a problem with his gall bladder. Suddenly, a minor health concern transformed into a major scare as the visit to the specialist revealed a golf ball-sized tumor growing in Nick’s colon.

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“I literally could have fallen out of my chair,” recalled Laura, Nick’s wife of 12 years. “It was the last thing I was expecting to hear.” The cancer was discovered on a Friday. By Monday, Nick and Laura were sitting in a surgeon’s office learning about the long road of treatment ahead.

“There were a lot of questions in those first few hours and days,” Nick remembered. “It was a huge blessing to us to be able to see the surgeon so soon because we didn’t have to wait very long to get some answers.”

The Hawkins wrestled with how to break the news to their young sons who were 7 and 4 at the time of the diagnosis. At first, they decided not to share anything until they knew more, but as the days passed, it became increasingly difficult to avoid the subject.

“We sat them down and told them something was wrong with Daddy’s stomach,” explained Nick. “There is cancer, and we need to take it out.”

Nick and Laura were careful to make their daily routines seem as normal as possible. Although surgery to remove the tumor was now scheduled, the weeks of waiting were filled with moments of fear and uncertainty. Through the tears and the anxiety, Nick and Laura’s faith was unshaken. Their trust in God and reliance on each other provided strength and comfort

and kept both of them from dwelling on the worst-case scenarios.

“Our faith was so critical to us during those days,” Laura said. “I can’t imagine how people without faith get through such scary things. All I knew to do was hold on to my faith and love Nick the best way I could.” “If I didn’t have Laura and I didn’t have my faith, I think it would have been much easier for my mind to go to a really dark place,” admitted Nick. “I was able to draw so much strength from my wife, and I had to rely on my faith to work my way through some of those thoughts.”

“I can’t imagine how people without faith get through such scary things. All I knew to do was hold on to my faith and love Nick the best way I could.”

The Hawkins’ initial prayers were answered. Nick’s surgery was successful. The tumor was gone, but the battle was not over. To reduce the chance of the cancer returning and wipe out any cancer cells still lingering

in Nick’s colon, he would have to endure six weeks of radiation followed by six rounds of chemotherapy.

Every day, after leaving his job as a store manager at QuikTrip, Nick had radiation treatment. The chemo was slightly more complicated. Each round lasted three full days, and Nick was forced to carry a pump with him wherever he went so the flow of chemicals continuously poured into his body. It wasn’t easy.

Nick’s energy was drained, but his long-term prognosis was good. It also wasn’t difficult for him to keep things in perspective.

“Right before I started chemo, I had to sit through this class to learn about the side effects, and what you can and can’t do,” Nick said. “I’m sitting there having a little pity party for myself when I look over at the guy next to me and he has a big X-shaped scar on the top of his head. It was obvious he had brain cancer. I snapped out of my pity party real quick because I realized it could be so much worse.”

God was at work, using people every step of the way to provide support, pray, and show Nick and Laura how much they were loved. Members of their Asbury community, Covenant, brought meals to the Hawkins’ home for weeks after Nick’s surgery. Because Nick was weak and unable to go out in the sun for any long periods of time--a side effect of the chemo—

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“Just knowing there were so many people out there willing to help and so many people genuinely praying for us”

neighbors and some of the men from the class created a calendar and showed up to mow the Hawkins’ lawn week after week. “I don’t know if we would have that kind of support system if we didn’t go to Asbury,” Nick pondered. “God was definitely looking out for us 14 years ago when we joined the church. Over the years, He was building our relationships with so many people who would eventually help us out.”

A friend, who just happened to be a nurse at St. John’s, went above and beyond for Nick and Laura in the days leading up to and after surgery to make sure they were receiving the absolute best care and the very latest information on Nick’s condition. Still another friend, an employee at Oklahoma Cancer Specialists and Research Institute, worked on Nick’s radiology plan.

Their next-door neighbors were praying non-stop for healing.

Nick and Laura’s parents were supportive every step of the way. It seemed everywhere the Hawkins turned there was a familiar face ready to help ease their burden or intercede on their behalf. “Just knowing there were so many people out there willing to help and so many people genuinely praying for us and for our family, there’s no comfort quite like it,” stated Laura.

Nine months after the tumor was discovered, Nick completed his final round of chemotherapy. The scans were clear. The cancer was gone. “We are so grateful that we had such a positive outcome with such a terrible disease,” Laura said. “There are so many people, so many families out there who are not as fortunate as we are.”

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Doctors cautioned Nick and Laura that no one is declared cured until five years have passed. Later this month, Nick will meet with his oncologist to discuss the plan for the future. Some of the apprehension, and certainly the prayers, will continue for the Hawkins family. As they reflect on a difficult season of their lives, Nick and Laura can see God’s arms around them every step of the way.

“God is never going to give you anything you can’t handle,” Nick offered. “You’ll be tested for sure, but it’s nothing you won’t be able to deal with if you believe in His power and trust in His will.”

Nothing could have prepared Nick and Laura for what they had to face. But as they were reminded time and time again, nothing could possibly separate them from the love of their Heavenly Father.

“You’ll be tested for sure, but it’s nothing you won’t be able to deal with if you believe in His power and trust in His will.”

A FATHER’S

by Kay Mains

BLESSING

Zephaniah 3:17b says He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.

It seems like God has ministered to me many times with songs, especially during the night. I will wake up, hearing the Spirit singing. Sometimes it’s a praise song; sometimes it’s a prayer; sometimes it’s a blessing. And that’s the most recent one I want to share.

My mother went to be with the Lord six years ago.

My dad, at 88, didn’t think he would last long. But he did, until the age of 94. Despite being blinded by macular degeneration and being unable to drive, he continued to live by himself on 5 acres about an hour north of me. He prided himself on still mowing the yard (which was huge) with his riding mower and doing his own laundry. Rather than trying to cook for himself (which he did up until a year or so ago), I kept his freezer stocked with meals I made which he only had to heat up. Boring meals, but at least he ate. He was able to still take his dog to the park for a walk every day as transportation was arranged.

Last August, all that changed when he injured his knee. Then his hip. Finally, unable to stand the pain, he went into the hospital for 11 days, followed by 3 ½ weeks in skilled nursing. After moving into assisted living, after eight days he tripped on his oxygen tube and fell. But, hallelujah, he wasn’t home by himself

and was immediately transported to the hospital. No surgery was needed—until he fell again at the hospital on the morning I was taking him back to skilled nursing. He survived the surgery but came out of the recovery room on a ventilator and was placed in ICU. That afternoon, during a lull when no one was nearby (a rarity in ICU), I was holding Dad’s hand and praying.

I began to hear the Spirit sing a blessing over me— from my Dad who was comatose by this point. The song, which I don’t ever remember hearing before, was “God Be with You.” Was it audible? I doubt it. But very clear to my ears.

God be with you till we meet again,

By His counsels’ guide, uphold you, With His sheep securely fold you, God be with you till we meet again. (lyrics by Jeremiah Rankin, 1880) Dad went to heaven shortly after that. All I could do was thank the Spirit for delivering a blessing to me from my earthly father. It has strengthened me during the hours, days and weeks that have followed.

God uses many ways to bless us during the hard times—family, friends, “care” baskets, cinnamon rolls, food. But He is also singing to us all the time. When we need it most, He opens our hearts and our ears.

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Give God

by Rob Loeber

John Cook was a fixer. He was a problem solver. He desperately wanted to make things better. On the outside, he was a man who appeared to have it all together. Inside his own head, he was being tormented by the same repeating questions.

“Why is my marriage crumbling? Why can’t I stop drinking? Why am I so unhappy?”

It was October 2009. Cook wrestled with those thoughts as he circled his backyard on a riding lawn mower. He was mentally exhausted. Married for over 20 years, Cook was no longer communicating with his wife. His mind drifted to his two kids.

How much harm will I do to my son and daughter if we get divorced?

The alcohol consumption began as a social habit.

Now, it had spiraled into a serious problem. Cook was scheduling his entire recreational life around, as he described it, the “opportunity” to drink beer.

As the frustration increased and he sensed his world beginning to implode, something prompted him to stop. He turned off the mower.

“God, I need help,” Cook confessed. “This has got to stop.

I don’t know what to do.”

Relief swept over Cook as he heard God say to him, “Call Asbury on Monday morning and get help.”

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In the moment, Cook was obedient. He followed through and picked up the phone.

“My sponsors kept telling me the more effort I put in, the more I would get out of it. It was absolutely true. I put in 100 percent of my effort.

“I chatted with Glen Grusendorf, and I explained what I was going through,” recalled Cook. “He told me about this program called Celebrate Recovery, and I said I would start attending.”

I honestly and earnestly asked for God to help me every step of the way.

But Cook didn’t go. For the next four months, he continued to fight his own battles. Cook gave his life to Christ at the age of 13, but now, in the midst of the most trying circumstances of his life, he didn’t have a real relationship with his Savior. He certainly didn’t know how to fully surrender. The hole he was digging only grew deeper.

“During that time, I remember thinking I could handle it on my own,” Cook said. “Despite being so frustrated, and so fed up with my situation, I still believed I could get through it by myself.”

Finally, in February 2010, in the aftermath of a particularly volatile stretch with his wife and the realization of his marriage being beyond repair,

Cook started to let go.

“God reminded me of my conversation with Glen,” Cook stated. “He put Celebrate Recovery on my mind, and I knew I couldn’t ignore it any longer. I went to my first meeting, and that’s when the healing really began.”

At first, the meetings were uncomfortable. Cook didn’t think he could fit in with a group of men who found themselves in the same place at the same time as a result of bad decisions, self-reliance, pain and addiction. Although his walls were up, Cook trusted God had placed him in Celebrate Recovery for a reason. A few weeks in, he was starting to make connections. He realized he had more in common with these men than he thought. He was getting better.

“I was about halfway through the 12-step program, and it really started to click for me,” Cook commented.

I had to completely let go to start seeing real changes in my life.”

The drinking stopped. Immediately. The divorce, which could have easily become a messy, combative process, was smooth and completely amicable on both sides.

A common and very powerful trend was beginning to emerge in Cook’s life.

“Every time I gave a problem to God, it got better,” Cook stated matter-of-factly. “So literally, drinking is gone because of Him. I gave my divorce to Him. Now that doesn’t mean it didn’t require work or action on my part, but I understood who was truly in control, and I knew where I needed to go with my problems.”

On February 21, 2019, Cook will celebrate 10 years of sobriety. He has a strong relationship with his 17-year old daughter and his 25-year old son. He considers his ex-wife a good friend. With the passage of nearly a decade and the benefit of hindsight, Cook readily admits he used to merely check the boxes when it came to his Christianity. He attended church, but reading God’s Word was not a priority. He didn’t want anyone pushing him or preaching to him. There was no accountability in his life.

Thinking back to that day on the lawn mower, Cook recalls how he felt hopeless and utterly alone.

Celebrate Recovery put Cook on a path to selfimprovement, but more importantly, the program created a network of men who genuinely supported him, encouraged him, and challenged him to be better.

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“You’ve got to have your eyes, ears and heart open to the people God places in your life,” said Cook. “It is so meaningful to me to have people I can walk with through life. God just keeps putting men in my life I can talk to, and before, I would just keep everything to myself. It got me nowhere.”

Because of his experience in recovery and because he simply cannot argue with the mountain of evidence in his life,

Cook knows how much transforming power can come from a true, honest relationship with God. He wants other men to know it, too. Every Monday, Cook is at Asbury for Celebrate Recovery. He has gone from participating in a 12-step program to leading multiple 12-step programs. He is there as a sponsor, a mentor, a friend and someone willing to listen.

“As they tell us in Celebrate Recovery, when you find yourself in a hole, the first thing you do is put the shovel down and quit digging,” Cook says. “The next thing you do is look up at the hand waiting to pull you out. I was pulled out of my hole and now I want to be that guy who is reaching down to lift someone else up.”

Those steps seem simple. But for so many men, asking for help just doesn’t come easily.

“We’re control freaks,” Cook explained. “I don’t know if it’s our pride or masculinity or what it is that gets in the way, but I have met so many men who are just like I was.

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They don’t want to give up control. We are stubborn people.”

In Cook’s case, he’s become much more interested in the man God wants him to be than the man the rest of the world expects him to be.

To stand tall and face his problems, Cook had to be brought to his knees.

Now, his self-improvement is a daily process. He is faithful about reading Scripture and devotionals. For Cook, going to church doesn’t just check a box--it fuels him and challenges him for the week ahead. He is trying to live by building habits, and at 54-years old, he has arrived at a place in his life where he is no longer frustrated or hopeless or lost.

“God never wastes a hurt,” Cook says with confidence in his voice. “Yes, I had to endure a lot of pain to get to where I am today, but God has used those experiences to help me become a better version of myself. I am so grateful for what He has done for me. I am living proof that He can move mountains in people’s lives.”

Cook’s story also proves something else.

Sometimes, surrender is the first step toward victory.

SET FREE

by Giving Up

by Vickie Cease

Once there was a little girl who was as happy as a little girl could be. This little girl lived in the country on 80 acres with a big pond in the front of her house, a valley, a creek, a big hill with a spring, parents who loved her, two brothers and grandmothers. She loved God and the church. What a wonderful little life! Until‌she started trying to please the world. Not God; the world. Who has ever allowed themselves to do that?

You maybe?

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Who are we on Earth to please? Mom, Dad, Grandparents, siblings, teachers, classmates, coworkers, wife husband, friends, children, people you meet? Overload!Let’s simplify. God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit.

This was about the time Twiggy became a famous model. And I decided to be a professional dancer.

Ballet, tap, jazz, character—any type of dance.

Yes, I did all that and taught dancing, never seeing myself as thin enough.

It took me 58 years, yes, 58 long hard years to figure this out. So you can imagine how vulnerable to the deceiver Satan that we make ourselves when we are looking to the world for love, acceptance and trust.

In 1983, divorcing my first husband, feeling my life out of control, I took control of food by not keeping it. Deception! I felt guilty every time I ate. Bulimia.

Anorexia. Deception. I thought I was controlling it, but it was controlling me. It consumed me for 32 years. Can you believe it?

Where did Satan pounce on you?

What part of your life?

It was body image for me. Yes, I thought I could not be loved or accepted by anyone in my life unless I was skinny!

The summer before my first grade, our family moved to town on a prominent location with lots of boys my brothers’ ages. They were playing football in the front yard. I was watching from the inside dining room window. Suddenly, one of my brothers ran in and said, “You’re fat; get away from the window!”

I ran up to my room in shock. At 6 years old, I never realized that I had this terrible thing about me.

I was fat!

Honestly, I know now that I wasn’t; I just wasn’t skinny like the guy’s sister who said that to my brother.

Damage done.

That was all it took to convince me that I was not acceptable the way I was.

I based everything from then on that didn’t go well on my size. The dieting and exercising began. It consumed me. This was not pleasing God.

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Fast forward to 58-years old. I have had years of counseling, different medications, all but a few teeth crowned, an emergency appendectomy, hernia surgery over my stomach, hysterectomy and gallbladder surgery. Always feeling hungry, faint and defeated was a way or life. I was living in the pit, not with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

My husband Tim and I moved to Tulsa. I retired from teaching dance. I had been drinking a lot, to the point my family was concerned. I prayed God would give me the desire to stop, and in a few weeks of prayer and seeking Him, I lost the desire and quit drinking alcohol completely.

I continued seeking God and Jesus by attending Asbury and Family Fellowship, turning on the Christian channel from morning until evening, and deeply studying the Scriptures. God led me to be a Stephen Minister. It changed my life. By serving others, I received my healing. Well, there was one more step.

I thought I had completely given the eating disorder and all my stinking-thinking over to God. But no, I had not. One day I broke down and cried out, “Lord, God, Jesus! I cannot overcome this! I have done everything! I can’t do it! Only You can free me from this hell!”

As the days went by, I kept seeking Him and praying “Only, You, Lord, can free me.” I recited 2 Timothy 1:7 ESV “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

You see, sin separates us from all the wonderful parts of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. When this happens, we are in a living hell.

Seek God, and you will be set free! He is there for you.

He loves you just where you are. Just how you are.

The world will never love you unconditionally; it will consume and destroy you. Seek Jesus, and you will have the fruits of the Spirit.

Galatians 5:22-23 says: “But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

Sometime about three weeks of doing these simple things, it happened. I was watching the 700 Club. At the end, they pray and reveal healings for people. Terry said, “Someone has a stronghold, and it’s demonic. It’s being lifted from you right now.”

That is exactly how it felt. It was like an unseen weight was peeled off me! Another miracle of it was I never have practiced bulimia or had any problem with eating like a normal person since that day. Plus when someone is recovering from bulimia or anorexia, when they eat, the digestion of food is extremely painful. I had none of that! It was a miraculous healing!

Romans 12:2 tells us: “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

I thank God every day for being set free from a life of hell into a life in Him. It is the only way to truly live.

Praise God, I am completely God’s again. Free in His loving arms. Joy consumes me.

Now when I get sad or anxious, I pray in the Spirit silently, and His peace consumes me. I read His Word, and peace, confidence and His power envelope me.

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A Song to Sing

by Lucienda Denson and Sara Pinkepank

Each Tuesday at 10 am, approximately 15 people gather in Room 1502 at Asbury to sing.

Even though the choir meets in a church, the song selection isn’t necessarily spiritual. The choir enjoys singing a variety of styles and well-known pieces, from Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’” to Rodgers and Hammerstein’s “Climb Every Mountain.” This choir could be any well-rehearsed group of human songbirds except for one significant difference. The one thing these people all have in common is aphasia.

Aphasia a medical term for a very frustrating condition – an impairment in the ability to communicate with other people. According to the Aphasia Association, aphasia is an acquired impairment of language that can affect the production and/or comprehension of speech, as well as the ability to read and write. The

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most common cause of aphasia is stroke, but it can also be caused by head trauma, brain tumors, or infection.

It is more common in older people but certainly does not discriminate, as evidenced by the wide range of ages represented in the choir.

According to speech-language pathologist Sara Pinkepank, who leads the choir, aphasia can be very mild and may impact only a single aspect of language, such as occasional difficulty with word retrieval in conversation. However, in its severest form, communication with an individual with aphasia can be almost impossible, despite unimpaired intellect, resulting in frustration for both the individual and those close to them.

Pinkepank is a member of Asbury and serves in the music ministry. The Tulsa Aphasia Choir, made up

of people with aphasia and their family members, is part of that ministry’s outreach. Pinkepank said her first career choice was to teach music, attending The University of Tulsa for her bachelor’s degree. She later discovered a new passion and returned to college to earn a master’s degree in communication sciences and disorders. Pinkepank is now a practicing speechlanguage pathologist working in outpatient, home health, skilled nursing, and adult day center settings.

“While I was in graduate school, I read an article on an aphasia choir in Vermont. It stuck with me. I thought, I would love to do something like that someday. A few years later, I was looking for a new volunteer opportunity that would enable me to invest in people’s lives. I mentioned the aphasia choir article to a friend and told her it was too bad we didn’t have anything like that here locally. My friend encouraged me to start the Tulsa Aphasia Choir myself.”

For Pinkepank, the Tulsa Aphasia Choir is a meeting of her passions for helping people, particularly those with communication impairments, and for music. Pinkepank explained that sometimes, depending on the nature of the brain injury, singing can be easier than speaking for people with aphasia.

“There are a lot of different areas of the brain involved in speech and language. When we speak, our brain treats that as one type of task, but other areas are used for singing. So essentially, if those ‘speech’ areas of the brain are damaged but the ‘singing’ areas are not, singing can provide a way for a person with aphasia to produce words more easily.

The brain is amazing in its ability to sort of rewire -- undamaged areas can even adapt and start to take over new functions to help compensate.”

One choir member, Allison, is only 35 years old and has three teenage children. She has severe aphasia and her mother brings her from Fort Gibson each week.

Allison’s mother excitedly reported that Allison’s speech has become easier to understand since she started coming to choir. She also said that since Allison’s word production is more accurate when she sings, her family has begun asking her to “sing her words” when they are unable to understand her speech, and that this has helped them through several breakdowns in communication. Allison and her family attend another church closer to their home, but they are grateful for the way God has used Asbury and the aphasia choir to bring them hope and community.

In fact, the most impactful part of the aphasia choir 21

may not even be directly related to singing or to improvements in spoken language. “Aphasia can be an incredibly isolating condition,” Pinkepank said. This sentiment was echoed by various family members of people with aphasia who are part of the choir. When Helen, a stroke victim, was first diagnosed with aphasia and was in the hospital almost 20 years ago, she said she didn’t talk at all. “I just said ‘yes’ and ‘no,’ and that was just about it. The right side was paralyzed. I stayed in the hospital for about three months.”

Helen’s sister, also a choir member, described how her sister who was always an introvert became increasingly socially isolated. Helen was embarrassed to let people know about her communication difficulty. It is not uncommon for people with aphasia to withdraw socially due to embarrassment or self-consciousness, and unfortunately friends and family often withdraw from their loved one as well for the same reason -they aren’t sure how to communicate with someone with aphasia and they feel self-conscious, so they begin to limit those interactions. This can contribute to depression for those with aphasia. Helen’s sister said that Helen has gained confidence from being in the choir, as it is a safe space for her to connect and communicate among friends who understand her struggles. It is also helpful for these individuals to focus on what they can do in singing, instead of what they can’t.

Pinkepank states that a large part of her mission with the aphasia choir is to help those with aphasia 22

connect socially and learn valuable self-advocacy skills, and to promote awareness in the community. Every performance they give features a segment where the choir members speak to the audience and provide communication tips -- things the choir members want the rest of the world to know about communicating with someone with aphasia. One of the most important suggestions that Pinkepank and other choir members mention is to wait. Waiting isn’t always easy or our natural instinct in today’s culture. People often try to guess and fill in words for someone who is having trouble expressing themselves, but most of the time it is more helpful to simply wait and give a person with aphasia time to come up with the words on their own.

This patience gives a speaker with aphasia the gift of time and of knowing they and their message are valuable, even when it’s difficult.

The Tulsa Aphasia Choir has something to say and a song to sing, about how in the face of illness and struggle God can bring hope, encouragement and community, even in this difficult place.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

or ou re oved F Y A L

by Lisa Witcher

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5 “I’m a grateful believer in Jesus Christ in recovery for fear, anger and [I am] learning to trust God in everything”

Every thing.

For Vicki, a Celebrate Recovery proponent, everything means everything. She learned through several trials that she could either trust God with everything or literally lose everything.

Like many of us, as a young girl Vicki struggled with the definition of love, struggled with understanding that Christ wanted a relationship with her, struggled balancing fantasy with reality. She attended church and was baptized as a 12-year old but didn’t seek a relationship with God; she just sought for a way to be good enough. Since so many of our interactions during our youth shape our hearts and mindsets as adults, Vicki’s road as an adolescent provided faulty definitions of love and false truths about life. Her faith in those instead of Christ caused her to rely on 23

sexual relationships, alcohol, controlled substances and other means of escape. When she did find what she believed was true love, she had still missed the part about being worthy of Christ’s love. As a result, her marriage did not build her, did not continue to shape her into a daughter of God, but rather stole her identity, threatened her self-worth and perhaps even her emotional health.

At the depth of her pain, when divorce and divisiveness threatened her relationship with her children, she remembers driving back to the house and pulling over. Chasing fantasies for a better life had not caused anything good to happen, hadn’t made “everything” better. Getting mad at

God because the Norman Rockwell version she created in her mind wasn’t the one she was living wasn’t working either. So, she sat there alone in her car.

“I realized I could lose the kids, the houses; the kids could be mad at me for the rest of my life. Everything I wanted seemed to be going away.”

She was able to ask God, “What do you want me to do? It’s all yours.”

For Vicki, asking God what He wanted her to do meant staying in the present and dealing with the pain. She had to forgive herself; she had to recognize

and name her habits and turn from them. She had to tell herself over and over

again that God would stay with her regardless. The relationship He wanted with her stood on faithfulness and purity – two qualities Vicki had to learn to value and to trust.

An example of God’s faithfulness in Vicki’s life came in the form of a good friend and accountability partner who often asked Vicki to be honest with herself about her daily thoughts. She challenged Vicki further to stay

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in the present, to endure the pain and disappointment and develop the spiritual and emotional tenacity to be who God wanted her to be.

“God has shown me that He is always able to carry me through it.

By staying in the moment, life is so much richer and fuller.”

It was if the words of Isaiah were being shared with just Vicki. God so wanted Vicki to hear the final words of verse four – just as He wants all of us to hear them.

Isaiah 43:2-4 tell us: “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.

When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.

When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you…. because you are precious to me.

You are honored, and I love you.”

God honored Vicki through friends who were courageous enough to speak truth even when it might mean pain and who loved enough to be constant, two traits Vicki sincerely needed to value for herself.

Life continued to go off the script that Vicki had written for herself as she was laid off from her job and struggled to grow and nurture healthy relationships with her son and daughter. Her mother fell ill, had to be cared for and eventually passed away. However, Vicki’s work in Celebrate Recovery offered her the personal courage to begin dealing with pain instead of running from it.

CR Principle 6 says “Evaluate all my relationships, offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except

when to do so would harm them or others.” Vicki took this principle to heart, practiced forgiveness, began spending more time in the Bible and kept coming back to Celebrate Recovery.

“I began getting a better grasp of who God is. This allowed me to finally develop a deeper relationship with God. I still remember the night I was feeling so giddy like when I used to get when a new man was in my life. I hadn’t had a man in my life for over a year, and I was thrilled when I realized it was because God had finally filled my heart! I began finding myself spending much more time being present in the moments and not going into fantasy mode.”

God has revealed his faithfulness again as Vicki’s son, who perseveres through autism, has a full-time job and is navigating new relationships with his mom and sister in a more positive way. God saw her through her mother’s declining health and ultimate passing and gently but firmly kept Vicki from escaping the pain and stress of caring for older parents.

Another principle of recovery says “to reserve a daily time with God for self-examination.” God’s faithfulness through Celebrate Recovery continues serving Vicki.

She knows she must read her Bible and spend time praying in order to know God and His will for her life.

She is thankful for the opportunity to serve others as a volunteer with CR, but she is quick to offer, “I will never be done with recovery. I never want to stop learning and growing. God continues to restore my brokenness.”

As a woman who struggled with feeling worthy, Vicki wants to share a final verse: “But you are the ones chosen by God, God’s instruments to do His work and speak out for Him, to tell others of the night and day difference He made for you – from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.” 1 Peter 2:9

With God, Vicki’s fears of not being able to be self-sufficient decreased.

God doesn’t want everything for you, not things like we see them, but He does want every love for you – for you are loved.

Even losing her job did not move her from holding onto his promise that God would see her through, and she was literally excited to see what He would bring to her next. The time without a job allowed Vicki to seek some medical attention she needed and a training opportunity through her former employer. As a result, she acquired the certification she needed to become an activities director at a senior living community. It is a job requires Vicki to empty herself to meet the real needs of others.

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The Good Life REDEFINED

by Jeff Cline

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Twelve years ago, I was living the “good life.”

I was at the zenith of my career, developing and managing an oil field waste water treatment for the lowest environmental impact. My wife Nancy was teaching high school; the two children were attaining higher education. Nancy and I pursued our love of nature and outdoor sports by taking vacations hiking the mountains of the American West, Canada, Europe, South America and beyond. We both were fit, enabling us to run races, compete in duathlons and triathlons, and ski.

My motto was, “Travel when possible; work hard, play hard, stay fit, never stop learning, love always, stay loyal, be honest, stay humble, be kind, smile often.”

My priorities respectively were work, play, family and God. These priorities were about to be altered.

During a trip, my health began to fail. I soon struggled to jog/run or ride my bicycle up a hill.

After returning from a business trip, I felt so poorly, Nancy took me to an oncologist. After blood tests, the doctor called and said, “Go straight to the MD Anderson ER. You are in the late stages of acute myeloid leukemia (AML), typically fatal within five days.”

The new set of priorities became: God, life, family, with work and play becoming non-existent.

The MD Anderson doctors acted quickly, treating my blood with a very toxic chemo; I barely survived that near-death experience. This was the first of five emergency room visits and 12 extended stays in the hospital. I had just begun a journey into a darkness from which I would finally emerge years later, a changed person, emotionally and physically.

The emotional change in me from the traumatic experience was a dramatic awakening in God. I began walking with, trusting in and again having hope in the Lord. The Lord’s faithfulness to me

was exhibited with my survival, when many who were similarly afflicted had perished.

Life was a roller coaster of near-death experiences over the years, each time followed by aggressive recovery, and physical and mental rehabilitation. I experienced severe heart trauma from chemo directed into my heart followed by an ablation to stop atrial fibrillation, triple pneumonia and electrolytes at levels below the minimum requirements for brain and life function.

It was a battle just to survive. My weight dropped from 195 to 127; Nancy and the doctors secretly thought I would not make it, but I never gave up hope and neither did the Lord.

The Lord is faithful and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one. 2 Thessalonians 3:3 I also survived being struck violently from behind by a truck while crossing the street. That weekend, friends and family poured into ICU. They definitely did not come for conversation with me; they came to bring their love and healing prayers. As the group laid their hands on me and prayed, I could feel the loving energy of the Holy Spirit moving through my body. Although the doctors said I would probably die, or at least lose my memory from the severe skull fracture, a miracle was beginning to unfold. The Lord intervened and was faithful to me and the prayer warriors. My life and memory would survive the traumatic accident. The loving friends and family were a key part of a miracle.

I found support from friends is an essential part of survival with a severe crisis. One must have loving, forgiving and supporting friends during a crisis. One must also be good with the Lord, trusting in his faithfulness, and have faith in Jesus Christ, live according to God’s principles, as life can end in an instant.

Nancy has been an angel, although a muchstressed angel. Recently, I asked her, “How did you manage the extreme stress in the five years that I was so sick? This was a deep, deep low for you as well as for me. You had a full-time teaching job, 27

to the end of the driveway with walking sticks. We ultimately achieved walks of 5 miles, ending with calisthenics.

After each release from the hospital, I would again begin rehabilitation. But inevitably some new sickness or crises would occur. My survival led my neighbors and friends to call me Lazarus. I had hope and absolutely refused to give up.

managed the household, and cared for me at home and in the hospital.”

With a look of anguish, Nancy said, “I prayed a lot and God listened; He is good. The Lord gave me emotional strength, helped me to relax, and gave me hope.

“Our church family helped and were a blessing from heaven, without whom I believe we would not have made it. People like Richard Study and others drove you to MD Anderson Clinics when you were unable to drive and I had teaching obligations,” she added. “All of the family and friends who helped us provided essential contributions and caring support by visits, cards and calls. They helped me to be positive, bringing love, solace, encouragement and prayers. They were essential for both of us, for your physical survival, for my emotional survival, and, together, for our well-being. And, ministers from the church and Christian friends visited you in the hospital, laying their prayerful, healing hands on you. “ Physical rehabilitation began with taking walks of ever-increasing length with my dear friend Richard. He had been diagnosed with terminal cancer five years before, but he was in remission and still very much alive. At first, I could only walk 28

And I was happy just to be alive. My fight showed me how fragile and precious life is. During the long ordeal, I faced incredible pain, sickness, exhaustion, anxiety, loneliness, despair and helplessness. The essential antidote was hope, hope for a better life. The essential ingredient was my knowing that God blesses us through the Holy Spirit and is faithful to us. I felt boundless gratitude for the support of the hospital staff, my friends, my family, and the Lord. And I realized that I had to “walk” with the Lord daily.

I was an altered person with new challenges—and new opportunities! Having “chemo brain,” I could no longer work in the high-pressure oil industry with its travel demands, nor could I do sporting events. The next important step was to determine what I could do for the rest of my life that would be fulfilling. What was the Lord’s plan for me?

As I recovered, I did not retire into inactivity.

I set new life goals that became achievable by maintaining a relationship (abiding in) with God, and focusing on hope, joy, having a positive attitude and never giving up.

God loves us, and we abide with Him daily. We are comfortably retired, able to pursue God’s kingdom.

We agree that I have emerged emotionally strong, refocused on living life within God’s plan to help others. We are hopeful, content,and happy. Simply put, my focus has become to love my neighbor as myself, thereby avoiding self-centered behavior.

During a birthday call from Pastor Tom, I asked if he might help me to discover what the Lord’s plan is for me. He simply stated, “Just open your eyes; your destiny in God’s plan is right before

you.” When I opened my eyes, I was moved to write an inspirational book to help others emerge successfully from a crisis or tragedy, and, in so doing, discover the Lord. That book has just been published with Amazon. It is appropriately titled, “Open Your Eyes to Joy.” The book tells the stories of myself and many friends who have survived disease, accidents, financial disasters, divorce, depression, drug addiction, loss of spouses, even prison, to lead happy, productive, better lives by changing their mindset to one of hope and joy. The final chapter provides the life wisdoms from all contributors and the methods necessary to emerge from a crisis.

I believe that every day there is a spiritual battle for our mind. We can choose to trust in God and focus on abundance, gratitude, peace, joy and love.

Or, we can allow Satan to control our mind and

focus on scarcity, fear, anxiety, anger and worry.

We must train ourselves to start each day by anchoring ourselves to God. We should approach each day with a positive mindset, interacting with Christian principles and pursuing God’s plan for us.

In our life’s journey, most of us have felt anxiety, losses, fear, hurt, disappointments and betrayals.

We must learn from them and seek the Lord, and find hope and contentment, enjoying a joyful life worth living.

My story is about finding and using hope, faithfulness and positive attitude as tools to heal and find joy and hope when you have been overcome by a crisis of emotional and/or physical pain and despair. It doesn’t matter what the challenge is in your life’s journey — you will get knocked down. The rule is this: abide with the Lord and just get up.

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A Grateful

HEART

by Tammy Beals

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Although not raised in church, I had a “come to Jesus” meeting in my living room on one very stormy Saturday night in early 1994. I had separated from my husband of nine years in January of that year. That particular night, I had once again gotten a call from his daughter who lived out of state, asking if her dad was there and I, once again, had to tell her he wasn’t and that she should try him at work when she’d ask where he was. When I hung up the phone, I hit my knees amidst all of the lightning, rain and thunder, looked to the heavens and with tears streaming down my face, audibly said the words, “I can’t do this anymore….” Little did I know that was a moment that would forever change my life.

“I can’t do this anymore…”

I attended church for the first time as an adult on Easter Sunday in 1994. My longtime friend who invited me also had to show me how to look up the scriptures in the Bible while there. The Bible was completely unfamiliar to me. This dear friend would call me every morning to ask me if I was still breathing.

I can now express gratitude for the pain of the divorce, as it placed me in a situation that I could not handle on my own and was humbled to ask for help. I would gladly go through all the pain of it again in order to be blessed with the relationship I now have with my Lord and Savior.

However, that was not the end of the trials that would enter my life. The following year on the very date that would have been my 10th wedding anniversary, I had my first date with a man like no other I have ever known! He gave me the gift of his heart from that day forward! My heart was shattered five years later in December of 2000 when he was killed in a drunkdriving car accident at the age of 37. It was through this that I was wrapped up in God’s love and comforted by the Holy Spirit. I was even supernaturally able to speak at his funeral.

For me, my growth and drawing closer to God has come mostly through the tragedies I experienced. I have seen Jesus in the form of many different people

that He continues to send into my life. I have a love for people that even I can’t fully understand. People at church, people at work and just today in an old woman in line in front of me at Wal-Mart. I live in JOY, not of my own will but God’s will to do His good works through me. I am thankful that God doesn’t call the qualified; He qualifies the called. He has called me to serve, to serve His people.

In 2010, I was diagnosed with MS. I had experienced so many unexplainable things happen in my body for years, but since I lacked health insurance, I had not pursued finding out the cause. When I started seeing a neurologist, I discovered that I had been afflicted with it since I was 21 but it had not been diagnosed. My first “flare up” had been when I had optic neuritis and lost the sight in my left eye. If that had happened today, MS would have been the first thing I was tested for. Later that same year, I moved my mom in with me as she had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and was unable to live alone any longer. She passed in 2012.

I want to be known by my grateful heart, grateful for all of the blessings in my life every single day. Grateful that I have the least debilitating form of MS, grateful for all the lessons in courage that I learned from my

I want to be known for my grateful heart... dad who was blinded in Korea and never physically saw me, grateful for being raised on a farm, grateful for my family, grateful for all of the gifting that God gave me, grateful for hugs, grateful for all the love and support I receive at Asbury, grateful that through this story you may recognize that YOU have worth and are loved no matter what has happened to you!

I am human, and I still have issues with fear, regret, loneliness, sadness and hurt just to name a few, but they do not define me. I am a child of God, fearfully and wonderfully made….and so are you!

Love you all, Tammy

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In 2014, Melody Gum was living in the Oklahoma panhandle where she had grown up and found herself in a place of financial uncertainty. Her job had recently come to an end, and the lack of economic growth in the area created challenges in finding new employment. Melody’s aunt and uncle invited her to come stay with them in Broken Arrow in hopes that job opportunities would be more abundant in the greater Tulsa area. Melody accepted their generous offer and moved across the state in search of better financial stability. Melody not only found employment, but she quickly found a church home at Asbury. She also found opportunity in our Chancel Choir in which her spiritual gifts could be used and nurtured. Most importantly, Melody found God’s faithfulness through her journey which has given her both confidence and assurance in the realization that He is always with us.

Melody settled into her job in Bixby, where she also now lives, but was still very anxious about her financial situation and her future.

She sought tips on budgeting through the internet and made attempts to be more frugal in her spending. She learned this was more difficult than it sounded, and obstacles were

Facing Your Fears

By Missy Lenhart

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continuously placed in her path. Car repairs and other unexpected expenditures seemed to make it impossible to get ahead so that she could begin saving for her future. Melody knew she needed help but was unsure where to look.

Melody had first heard about Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University in college and had acquaintances who had taken the course. Although friends had positive things to say about the class, she could not picture herself taking the course. After all, at the time she did not yet have income as a college student and was far from settling down and making a home, so could this course really apply to her? She felt maybe it would make sense to take the course later in life with her future spouse.

Through Asbury, Melody again was introduced to FPU. Although she was now out of college and gainfully employed, she still had many doubts as well as fears preventing her from enrolling. Many friends encouraged her to take the class and described it as “life changing,” but she questioned what the biblicallybased class could teach her about finances and budgeting money. As she jokingly describes, “When it came to finances, I could not put two and two together with regards to God and my financial situation.”

Yet in September of 2018, one week before the course started, Melody finally decided to enroll. Whereas she had not yet reached rock bottom, she knew she could not continue her current path. Living paycheckto-paycheck was taking a toll on her personally, and her faith was beginning to wane. She wasn’t even sure how she could pay the $95 enrollment fee; however, God provided a means for Melody to attend on a scholarship, and thus it began.

Although Melody had mustered the courage to enroll, all her earlier fears remained making her apprehensive. She felt guilty that she did not know how to do this on her own; wasn’t she supposed to know how to budget her money? She was afraid the class would be too rigid in structure, lacking flexibility she might want or need. She was afraid of failure.

Perhaps the most difficult struggle was that she was still single. She feared she would be surrounded by couples in a different stage of life and the class would be geared to them, inhibiting her from gaining any learning for her situation. Later, she would come to understand that all of these doubts and fears were not

truths but obstacles in her path, shielding her from God’s truth and faithfulness.

Melody attended all the classes and successfully completed the course this past November. Although she is still in the early stages of her journey, God has already revealed much to her through this class. First and foremost, she learned that God has been providing for her all along, even in her darkest hours. She learned that Bible teachings and finances are related, and that through God’s Word, He offers instruction and assurance for our struggles. One scripture that resonated with Melody during the class is Hebrews 12:11 “For the moment discipline seems painful rather than pleasant but it later yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

Among the many realizations God gave to Melody during this class was that through budgeting, GIVING is possible. She had never practiced regular tithing until attending the class, and it has been life changing to see what God can do through her and with her gifts.

It has been a great source of spiritual growth.

For the first time in her life, Melody is facing her finances with confidence rather than fear. She feels empowered and equipped to make decisions knowing that God is there for her. Melody is using this experience to encourage others who are in similar situations. She has shared her experience with friends and relatives in hopes that she can help others find the peace that has been given to her. When asked what advice she has for people in a similar situation she says, “Don’t assume that because you may be starting from a different place than others in the class that you cannot grow and learn. God meets us where we are and as stated in Ephesians 3:20 “is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.” As a singer, God’s truths are often revealed to Melody through song lyrics. She offered the words to the anthem “So You Would Know” by the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir which continues to sustain her in difficult times: Didn’t I put food on your table, Show up when your bills were due?

When the pains were racking your body Didn’t I send healing down to you?

When you were lost in sin and sorrow I died to set you free So you would know just how much I love you.

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GOD’s

by Marla Johnson

AMAZING PLAN

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In true Celebrate Recovery Introduction style, I am a very grateful believer in Jesus Christ who struggles with mental health issues, and my name is Marla.

I grew up in a quiet, calm home where we rarely showed our feelings. I was more social and outgoing than the rest of my family. I was well-liked at school and always had a lot of friends. Sometimes they told me “if I had a brain, I would be dangerous,” and “if my head was not attached, I would lose it.” I was always losing my purse or jacket everywhere I went. Scatterbrained

and disorganized describe me well.

I learned ways to cope and did well in school and through college. I would find out later I have a learning disability called Executive Function Disorder.

During my second year of college, I met my future husband, started dating him third year, I got pregnant and then married him during my fourth year. In the fifth, I had my first child, a girl. This was 1993.

Marriage and a child within six months changed my life drastically.

To my new husband, my scatterbrained, disorganized ways were not as funny as it had been to my friends.

Finishing college, working part time, being mommy to a new baby and trying to keep up with a house, bills etc. caused me to have a rude awakening into adulthood.

Because I’m disorganized, taking care of the house is difficult for me so it came last. My husband, instead of teasing and laughing about it, began to have temper tantrums with a lot of name calling and cussing. I argued back; and as a result, it increased his temper, and he sometimes broke things. There was no getting away from him. If I went in the bathroom and locked the door, he would just unlock it and continue berating me. Coming from my calm and quiet home, this was a shock; but I didn’t call it what it was until much later-

-verbal and emotional abuse. This cycle of behavior continued. I made excuses for him. “When he wasn’t angry, he was a great dad”, “He’s Italian, so it’s just how he was raised.”

In 1997, we had our first boy, and our second in 1999.

My kids were my life, and they distracted me from my husband’s temper tantrums. I didn’t tell anyone, and we pretended that life at home was normal.

After 16 years of marriage, my husband started taking sleeping pills and mixing them with alcohol. He did some crazy things during that time and scared us a lot.

He almost drove off the road a few times and once got so close to the back of another car that they followed us home and threatened him. One night when he was hallucinating, he attacked me physically and sexually.

That day I lost the person who should have been my greatest protector on this earth; instead he became a source of anxiety and panic. The next day, I asked him a few questions to see if he remembered what happened. Because of the drugs, he didn’t remember it at all. I blocked it from my brain and told no one.

The only real change at that time was that I suddenly had more passion to do my Bible study and read books about Christ. I had loved Jesus since I was 7-years old and, with the exception of a few rebellious times, had remained faithful. It was natural for me to turn to Him.

The only real change at that time was that I suddenly had more passion to do my Bible study...

During my marriage, I was isolated and had few friends, and none I really trusted with my secret. I had lost touch with my high school friends. So, my secret was my secret.

My husband continued using the hallucinogens; when I accused him, he would turn it around to try to make me feel crazy.

Later that year I ran into a big, nice-looking guy who I latched onto as a protector. He was more of a predator, but in my mind, he could rescue me. So, I

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told him what happened. Soon after that, I told the wife of my husband’s best friend. Neither one of them were probably the best choice. Then I found pills in my husband’s pants pocket and looked them up online. I could finally prove that I was not crazy; he was really abusing pills. That brought everything I had tried to block out back to the forefront, and I started to shake all the time. It seemed impossible to relax my muscles. I wanted to scream and break things and hurt someone, even myself. I started running until it hurt enough to relieve my inner emotional pain.

I set out to destroy the lady who could be so stupid to allow these things to happen to her(me).

I set out to destroy the lady who could be so stupid to allow these things to happen to her(me). I did a pretty good job. I got drunk for the first time

in my life at age 40. I found my teenage love and started texting him inappropriately and separated from my husband. I started therapy to get help, but then ran into a guy who set himself up to be my Prince Charming. I think he researched “what women like” because he was a woman’s dream guy. For a little while. When we broke up, he admitted he could not be the man I wanted him to be. “Prince Charming” actions can only be carried on for so long. I really just wanted him to learn who Jesus is so he could share that with me, but he refused, so that was the end of that.

I had been going to Celebrate Recovery since right before my separation, trying to work through the anger of abuse. At this low point in my life, I came out of denial on a great number of other things. I realized men are not the answer to my happiness; neither is alcohol; and I cannot fix or make a man be who I want him to be. My path of self-destruction was doing a lot of damage to my health, my heart and my family. I started taking CR more seriously and really doing the steps. I started attending step-study and was able to get very honest about myself. Everything didn’t change overnight, but through the process, Christ has been growing me from the inside out. When I recognize the things blocking my relationship with Him, I’m giving them up.

With the hole that is left inside me, I now feel the power of the Holy Spirit. That results in me wanting Him more and giving me the desire to be His light in the world. I want to serve Him!

With the hole that is left inside me, I now feel the power of the Holy Spirit.

For me, God used CR to allow me to leave my isolation and mistrust and find people who still cared about me even after they knew how broken I was. In fact, the honesty caused them to love me more and brought closer friendships than I had ever had before. Doing

During that time, I was studying about Peter and his denial of Jesus. He just knew he wouldn’t betray Jesus, but he did. Sifted like wheat. I could relate.

I found myself in the process of divorcing my husband and losing “Prince Charming.” To add to the pain of that, I got shingles for the first time. Unable to get out of bed for a few days, I had plenty of time to think and cry out to God. I was in deep pain--physical, mental and emotional. I was doing a Bible study on Jonah then and related to crying out to God from the belly of a whale.

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my inventory (which is a reckoning with my past, sharing it and making amends) allowed me to let go of the anger of my abuse and forgive my ex-husband.

Now after doing my steps several times, I am quick to recognize patterns of thinking and behavior and redirect more quickly.

After dating a couple of men, I realized I was searching for characteristics in men that I should first be seeking in Christ. Jesus Christ is the true Prince. Only He brings true and lasting joy and happiness. Temporary fun and pleasure, or forever with Christ? The choice should be easy but letting go of this world is a process; the steps of Celebrate Recovery lead us in the direction Christ wants us to go.

I wanted that “better plan” that God had for me.

One Sunday morning, I watched a sermon on TV by Chip Ingram. He was talking about God’s plan for our lives and how much better it is than anything we can imagine. He said that God uses the weak for His purpose so no one can doubt that it was from God. Then all the glory goes to Him. Wow! That is definitely me! I’m so very weak on my own. I wanted that “better plan” that God had for me.

Since then, I left my 20-year teaching career and retired on disability. After that first bout of shingles, I got it many more times. I also started seeing a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with PTSD due to sexual assault. Teaching became an impossible job for me. My dad often tells me my life is very exciting, and he is right. Now I’m using my pain and

experiences to tell others about the hope we have in Christ. I lead an openshare group for women with mental health issues and have led women through several step-studies. I also have a passion to help women find sanctuary and peace. My hope is to show them Jesus is the path to true joy and happiness, and His plan for them is better than their own.

After the painful experiences, I stopped dating for almost two years. I vowed not to date again until I found a guy who loved Jesus as much as I do. I did but soon realized I should refine my parameters. That guy went from pursuing ministry to a drug-addiction relapse in a very short time. I wrote out the exact desires of my heart and was blessed in abundance with a man who is all those things and more.

It has been tough the last few years, but Christ has truly been faithful. Ministry is the desire of my heart.

2 Corinthians 4 has been my go-to when things get rough. I’m not going to quote the whole chapter, but I do want to quote verse 1 and 5-12. “Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart.”

5 “For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus sake.”

For God, who said “Let light shine out of darkness”, has shown in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.” But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side but not crushed, perplexed but not in despair, persecuted but not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed.

We carry around in our body the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus sake so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.”

My life is not perfect. PTSD has not gone away, and storms still come; but I have learned to be content in all things because this life is so temporary and eternity with Christ is forever. Because of our Wonderful Creator and what I’ve learned at CR about coping with life, my thinking about storms in this life are very different. God can use anything

for His glory. I have the peace that surpasses understanding because I know without a doubt that God’s plan is amazing. My husband and I cannot wait to see how He uses all things for His glory.

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Gratitude 2013 was a rough year for me.

In March, we learned our surprise third baby was on the way. Children are a blessing, sure, and it’s not lost on me that many women who struggle with infertility would have loved to be in my shoes.

As you can imagine, this made it all the more difficult to explain to people why we weren’t exactly beaming from the news of an unplanned pregnancy, half of which was uninsured thanks to the one year waiting period on my new medical insurance, and all of which was high risk thanks to my propensity for developing life-threatening blood clots. I cried after my first doctor’s appointment and didn’t know what was worse: the hefty price tag on the required blood thinners, or the thought of injecting them into my belly for eight solid months.

The following months were filled with trials both big and small.

McKenna, still an infant, didn’t sleep well. In the middle of the night, I drank chocolate milk to soothe my nausea while giving her a 3 am bottle. A change in the leadership at my part-time church job left me with a supervisor who did not seem to appreciate me or the ministry I led. My car was broken into and my purse was stolen, along with hundreds of dollars of birthday money and gift cards. I watched an F5 tornado live on TV as it ravaged my hometown, and the homes and schools of many of my colleagues and students. I interviewed for my dream job: choral director at my alma mater, a position for which I was groomed across 16 years of education and experience. I cannot express the depths of my heartbreak upon learning that, despite my credentials and impeccable references, the job went to another person.

by Mindy Dennison

As if mounting medical bills, personal setbacks, and letting go of a life-long career dream weren’t enough, the year ended as emotionally tumultuous as it began. I was horribly sick with bronchitis the week Brick was born. The physical pain during my four-day hospital stay was nothing compared to the emotional pain we experienced when no one from our church bothered to visit us in the hospital. My husband was fully-ordained clergy, and I worked as the music director for a church in which I spent 30-plus years of my life, and nobody could be bothered to stop by and share a smile or pray with us during those difficult days?!? We couldn’t believe it, and we were both incredibly hurt.

Sure, we were grateful for a healthy child, for McKenna’s adoption, and that we had the help and comfort of family during those gray days.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

Or in the words of another famous Charlie, “Oh, good grief!”

I came out of that year shaken, exhausted, and somewhat bitter. I grew worse at hiding my thinlyveiled annoyance with unhelpful clichés like, “God has a plan,” and “Everything happens for a reason.”

I was suffering in my own way, and this cradle Methodist and Armenian doesn’t believe God causes pain or does harm.

Shortly after that time, I heard something that completely changed my perspective on hardship and trials in life. I wish I could remember the exact source. Perhaps a sermon podcast? A book I read?

A Facebook post? A Tweet? I admit: I was trudging through the chaos and sleep-deprivation of caring for a pre-schooler, infant and newborn. Those months are a complete blur.

But I never forgot the message I heard:

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Scripture does NOT say to give thanks FOR all things. Scripture tells us to give thanks IN all things.

What a big difference such a small word makes!

Of course I’m not thankful my kids are home with shigella (do yourself a favor, don’t look it up!). I’m not grateful for sleepless nights, for financial setbacks, or for professional disappointments. I don’t chock up a devastating natural disaster or a terminally ill loved one to God’s will.

When I find myself overwhelmed with stress, despair or unfair life circumstances, my prayers begin with gratitude. I begin (albeit begrudgingly sometimes) with thankfulness for my home, my husband, my children, the food we eat, the clean water we drink, the air we breathe…

I might give thanks for the things that make my trials more bearable: reliable transportation, helpful friends, doctors, nurses, medication (and that I can afford it), unexpected side income. Small or even “silly” things like Clorox wipes, coffee, Braums ice cream, vibrating bouncy seats, diaper coupons.

I’ve even thanked the Lord for pacifiers… more than once.

Even IN the hardships in life, I can still find plenty of reasons to thank God. And the funny thing is, when I give gratitude, even during a stressful or difficult time, it changes me.

It soothes me, calms me, quiets me, even cheers me.

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It lifts my spirit. It gives me perspective. It gives me peace, which allows me to rest, which strengthens me for facing whatever trial has befallen.

One of my mother’s favorite quips when I was a child was, “this, too, shall pass,” and 2013, ferocious as it was, indeed, did come to an end. The babies grew, and eventually they slept through the night.

I got over my bronchitis, and my c-section scars healed. UMCOR (United Methodist Committee on Relief) set up shop in the church I served, and homes and schools were rebuilt. I eventually got another teaching job—one that completely rocked my narrow worldview, opened my eyes to the plight of the poor and underserved, and awakened a desire to advocate for public education and the ways in which it serves our most marginalized populations. My newly found commitment to such an endeavor might never have been born had I landed what I thought was amy “dream job.”

God does not make bad things happen. God works in difficult situations to bring all things together for the good of those who love God. When we take the time to give thanks in all things, not only do we lift our spirits, we allow God to draw us closer. We give God a chance to lead us to still waters, to bring about redemption, to make all things new.

And I give endless thanks for that.

MILESTONE ANNIVERSARIES

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65 Barney & Mary Kirkpatrick

Jerry & Johnna Himes

Gary & Dorothy VanFossen

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55

Ted & Ginger Haws

George & Lila Siler

70 YEARS Tom & Evelyn Porter

John & Judy Marquis

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50 Danny & Peggy Mitchell

1/30/54 2/27/54

60 Truman & Linda Rachels

Jim & Linda Furman

60 YEARS 2/18/49

65 YEARS Barney & Mary Kirkpatrick Jerry & Johnna Himes

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60

Gary & Dorothy VanFossen John & Judy Marquis Truman & Linda Rachels

50 YEARS 1/1/59 1/24/59 3/15/59

Danny & Peggy Mitchell Jim & Linda Furman

1/24/69 3/8/69

30 YEARS 55 YEARS Maurice & Cookie Wilkins Ted & Ginger Haws George & Lila Siler

Larry & Beth LaBuz

1/31/89

2/1/64 2/1/64 2/28/64

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NEW MEMBERS

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Jerry Albin

Gary Anderson

Ray and Laura Bury

Logan and Kennedy with Graham and Conrad Cabori

Mike and Lori Collins

Madison Cotherman

Erica Cross

Paul and Betsy Day

Michael and Linda Erb

Brandyn Fisher

Johnny and Heather with Hannah Isaac Andrew and Selah Fuller

Jeff and Jenny with Patrice Galapon

Hillary Holt

Shelby Hood

Cheryl Hoover

Karen Kendall

Lois Kohl

Emily Murphy

Tyler Nunley

Sharyl Parker

Dianna (Feonix) Phillips

Abel and Katie Resendez

Debby Rutherford

Steve and Rita Scott

Chris Slager

Frank and Rosie Slager

Gustavo and Hye Ree with Parker Soto

Scott and Ellen Sparks

Greg Trezise

Frank Vignal

NEW MEMBERS NOT PICTURED Autumn Hoover Eric and Sabrina Wade

Julie Weatherford

Randy Westfall

Derek and Leslie with Allison and Avery Williamson

Bob and Natalie Willis

DEATHS Carolyn Nixon Died 10-14-18 Spouse of Bruce Nixon

Elisabeth Schock Died 11-14-18 Wife of Victor Schock

Angela Drake Died 10-18-18 Spouse of Kevin Drake

Mary Fran Carle Died 11-15-18 Mother of Steve Carle

Ruth Meyer Died 12-13-18 Wife of Al Meyer, mother of Steve (& Joan) Meyer

Marietta Seibert Died 10-25-18 Mother of Shari (& Bruce) Arnold

Tommy Wilson Died 11-20-18 Father of Julie (& Chris) Spencer

Diane Walker-Propes Died 12-16-18 Mother of Allison Wallis

Jackie Smith Died 11-21-18 Wife of Rod Smith

Shirley Martin Died 12-17-18 Mother of Charlotte Benn

Norma F. Williams Died 11-21-18 Mother of Susan Dodd

Steve Broderick Died 12-20-18

Julie Jobe Died 10-30-18 Spouse of Mitch Jobe Jim Erickson Died 11-5-18 Father of David (& Kristie) Erickson Jacque McKillip Died 11-6-18 Grandmother of Greg (& Tamara) McKillip Donna Lenhart Died 11-12-18 Mother of Michael (& Missy) Lenhart

Don McGuirk Died 12-12-18

Cynthia (Cindi) Hillshafer Died 11-25-18 Wife of Jeremy Hillshafer Mary Kay Secrest Died 11-29-18 Mother of Rick (& Kim) Secrest Anna Wortham Died 11-30-18 Mother of Brian (& Debora) Wortham 43

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