Bumf Issue 2

Page 1




CON T E N TS Here’s a £1000, Love the Devil Haikus Eyes on da Skies Review: The Rain Room Review: Bird Skulls Miss Malevolence Poetry What’s on? Guide


7 8 12 14 18 22 24 28


A WORD FROM THE EDITOR Good day all, and welcome to the second edition of bumf. Entitled Heaven and Hell, this magazine has been created by the Arts University Bournemouth SU and some of AUCBs inspired oddballs. We are here to provide you with a bit of desperate enjoyment in the form of this functionless free newspaper; the antithesis of the soulless and generic tabloid nonsense with which we are bombarded ever y day. Here at bumf we continue our consumable supplement of art, illustration, music, life, death and random obscurity. The inbred team of creatives behind this paper is steadily growing, but just like the horrid heroin induced junkie WE WANT MORE! So if you’re an Artist, Musician, poet, thinker, blogger, or you just have something to say please get involved and email us at bumfteam@gmail.com. Thank you and we hope you enjoy this second edition of bumf magazine.










H E R E’S A £10 0 0, LOV E T H E DE V IL

“There’s a thousand pounds in the kitchen draw. Help yourself. From the Devil. Love God.” There were five of us. Film production students, taking the drunk walk home from the wrap of the most recent project. Director, Producer, Camerawoman, Editor and me. Stumbling blithely along Columbia Road, Camerawoman stops and points dramatically. In someone’s front garden, nailed to a table leg is a piece of cardboard, on which is scrawled “There’s a thousand pounds in the kitchen draw. Help yourself. From the Devil. Love God.”

the electric heater, on the mantelpiece. And notes ever ywhere – like somebody withdrew two hundred pounds worth of ten and five pound notes, stood on the coffee table and threw it into the air. An act of joyous rejection of earthly wealth. Or part of the plot – the temptation with which to entice innocent curious sinners?

But if anything, the onlookers are put off. It seems too easy. So we go round the back of the house, realise all the lights are on, all the windows open and the keys in the back door. Blaring from the kitchen radio is a sombre conversation about religion and suicide. Creepy. What to do? Director turns the key and we go “What the hell?!” exclaims Producer. in one by one. In the kitchen there is more money on the surfaces, scraps of paper with disturbed writing on Director laughs. “Semantic minefield,” he smiles. them - “Don’t doubt what you already know”; “Come on “Fuck off using clever words. That sign is fucking weird. beat them”; “Pray for the world to God.” Everyone is quiet; the place feels uncanny, spooky, sanctified. I take Who would do that?” care not to make any noise above the tread of my shoes. It’s uncomfortable being faced with religion. Editor “The Devil apparently.” warily picks up a knife lying casually on the breakfast bar; a big knife, the blade twice as long as his hand. “Isn’t it from God?” Producer isn’t happy. “Exactly,” Director says smugly. Self satisfied git. “Hey!” The first loud noise since we’ve been in here. “Semantically confusing. It’s from the devil, but has Everyone is silent. I bite my lip. “That’s dangerous. God then signed it “Love God” or is it a message from Put it down.” the devil that we should love God?”

“With the whole souly thing...” Director speaks slowly, “like I think it’s an interesting thing that you’re doing here. Twisting the emotions, questioning the verity of the devil, God and…” The soul-filled anointed one ignores their trite comments. “How about burning in hell you sold your souls; you’re gonna burn in hell and you sold your souls; you’re gonna burn // your souls // you’re gonna burn // your souls // Ah! You’re gonna burn you’re gonna burn you’re gunna burn – man that’s so good!” “What are you like...?” Camerawoman interjects. “Like? I’m Jesus Christ Jesus Christ Jesus Christ. Who are you? I’m Jesus Christ. Who are you? Which one are you?” “We study film. I direct.” “I produce.” “I’m the camera person.” “I do post-production.” “What’s that?” “Like editing.”

“There’s blood on it,” whispers Camerawoman, pointing to crusty red fingerprints on the blade. The relics of a religious pact made with the devil to ward off God’s “Again, it’s purposefully confusing. A play on words perhaps – “draw” has connotations of taking out money, angels. Trespassing forwards, the religious symbols become more potent. A scoreboard - Hell = 0, Heaven of creating, of…” = 11. The notes become overtly pious. “Dear God I am the ultimate believer and I promise I give you my soul”; “I wish you’d shut up sometimes,” Editor groans. “Only the devil could put your worst nightmare to the Camerawoman grabs Producer’s arm. “So what do we do?” test,” “Did I die who comes. Your finest devil.” “Also they spelt “drawer” wrong.”

“Do?” I followed uncertainly as they traipsed up the garden path, past the sign, to the open front door. Camerawoman gazed through the front window. “Look!” She grabbed Director’s arm. The curtains had been pulled back and the empty room bathed in electric light. But perhaps the most perplexing thing is all the money on display. There are bowls of coins – on the arm of the sofa, on the coffee table, on the floor by


That final one tips Camerawoman. She can’t take it any more. She makes suddenly for the front door. A figure darts from the darkness of the hallway, blocking her path. Can’t have this. She screams. The figure’s eyes are gleaming, searching, watching.

I suddenly notice and dart, grab Camerawoman’s phone from her hand. “Have you been filming this?!” I pick up the knife and move towards the film crew. They back away; she screams; he hides his head on his chest; he tries to run to the back door but I locked that as soon as we were all in the house. “You sold your souls!” I scream. They deserve this. Prying on the innocent; themselves purveyors of the world, trying to be God, trying to control people’s movements, speech, accent, looks, scenes, shoots. I switched off the phone. It’s over.

“Love this one! I love this one man,” he cries, “I rule hell. I can leave all the doors open. I rule hell man!” Editor and Director pull Camerawoman away from him, There were five of us. Director, Producer, frightened by his eyes flicking back and forth, his eagerness. Camerawoman, Editor and Actor.


















In 1964 after gaining independence, Zambia started a space programme led by Edward Makuka Nkoloso, sole member of the unheard National Academy of Science, Space Research and Philosophy. The programme, whose aim was to send the first African astronauts to Mars was soon cancelled, becoming no more than an amusing anecdote in the country’s history. In The Afronauts De Middel creates a subjective version of the story; engaging with myths and truths. The book is comprised of a series of constructed colour photographs, sequenced alongside drawings and reproductions of letters, resulting in a fictional portrait of a national dream (BÖrse Prize Nomination committee, 2013).

put the first African in space. However, the story is an insightful one and De Middel, through her book, has tried to capture the essence of the third world dreaming about the perks of becoming part of the first world. I began by asking her how she came across this strange story.

CDM. I found this story while doing some research for another project that now is postponed. I was looking for weird stories and I ended up coming across this video from the BBC. It was, for me, the perfect opportunity to give my opinion on how Africa is portrayed in the media and is imagined in the First World. I saw the potential of a funny story with a lot of clichés involved that could really convey a much deeper message. I also found it The Deodorant Company Lynx are holding a competition very challenging in terms of language because I wanted for one man to fly into space. The tagline for this endeavor to play with the audience and make them ask themselves is ‘leave a man, come back a hero.’ The advert depicts a if the story was real or not, and then ask themselves beautiful woman being saved from a burning building by again why they were being suspicious. Which is what an attractive fireman, only to reject him for a space- suited happened to me when I first saw the video. If it had man; followed by the line ‘Nothing Beats An Astronaut’. been a German Space Program there would have been no possible game and it is this prejudice of what you Prejudice, I suppose, comes in many forms and they expect from Africa, where the tension is based. only way to circumnavigate social sensitivity these days is to hide in plain sight. It seems fitting that Lynx is HH. How did you direct the models during the shoot to sponsoring a space programme, aerosols being one of reflect the story you were trying to tell, especially since the main causes of O Zone layer depletion. It also seems you say that the story only makes sense through the logical that women are not only speaking out against collection of the images and the words? this misogyny, but also trying to win the competition. CDM. I “just” asked them to believe in the story; to Fittingly, this year’s BÖrse prize has an entry that believe they were training to go to the moon. Their tackles the issue of elitism in space exploration. Cristina attitude was very important, as it would make the De Middel’s The Afronauts is a journey into the heart difference between respecting and poking fun. I of African eccentricity. Watching the original footage normally remind them while shooting of details about from 1964 of Edward Makuka Nkoloso’s interview, the story. It is more or less a fashion shoot, but very the Zambian space programme does seem to be more short...because I am a very quick worker. an idealistic endeavor rather than a serious mission to I do a lot of pre-production, draw story-boards and



control as much as I can from the beginning...then it becomes easier to direct the models as they know exactly what I need from them. HH. Your work has been described as fictional documentary. Do you agree with this and how do you bridge these two extremes? CDM. Well...I am not sure if I agree, even if I should, because it is not completely wrong. I haven´t had time to stop and think about the definition of what I am doing, honestly. I see more similarity in my work to the Cleopatra movie (with Elisabeth Taylor) than to a documentary about Africa, that´s true. If we only look at the images and try not to consider them documents we can say: the story is true, the action in the images is true... More than a fictional documentary (which has for me a big load of “fake” written across it) I would say it is an adaptation...just like a historical movie. It is not documentary, but it has information, it is not art, but the language works in different layers. Funny because it is BY FAR the most published “reportage” I have done in my life...it´s been in magazines everywhere, Even on the BBC and CNN and these articles were not talking mainly about me doing this, they were ALL talking about the Zambian Space program. That´s information...that´s documenting...It´s other things also, but it has information inside. Cristina De Middel (Febuary 10th, 2013). www.lademiddel.com And you can catch Cristina’s show as well as all the nominees at the Photographers’ Gallery between 19th April- 30th June.

Henry Heffer






Have you been to the Rain Room? The Rain Room by Random International has been for many the art event of the year. Since opening at London’s Barbican Arts Centre in October its popularity has grown exponentially, surprising even its creators. Reports of visitors being turned away by staff worried that the length of the queue posed a health and safety risk have become urban legend. But that didn’t stop me going. For anyone out of the loop, this large-scale immersive installation involves the enclosed gallery space being filled with torrential rain. 2,500 litres of water cascade down at 1,000 litres per minute from a suspended, specially designed grid system. Magically, as the


audience walk around in the downpour they stay completely dry. Even the most cynical visitor must admit that the heady sense of power at the prospect of being able to manipulate the weather is exciting if not disturbing. This critique of the human relationship between the natural and technological world is a recurring feature in Random International’s work. Set up in 2005 by Stuart Wood, Florian Ortkrass and Hannes Koch, the London studio has become renowned for off the wall art installations and inter ventions of high technical quality which “utilise raw fragments of artificial intelligence to encourage relationships between the converging worlds of animate and


inanimate”. In the past the studio has used sensor technology to mimic the audience, translating their movements into light patterns (Swarm Study, 2011) or organising inanimate objects to disconcertingly watch whomever walks past (Audience, 2008). The audience itself is always key to the completion of the work. It is fair to call it interactive, and in this sense it provides an opportunity for an often passive audience to ponder their own impact on the work in front of them. The Rain Room could be argued to be a successful exploration of the evolving relationship between natural phenomena and its mediated representation in the white cube.


As an experience the Rain Room is a poke at the established artistic community and its social or interactive capabilities. Ask anyone who has visited what they think and an overriding theme emerges: the queue. In coming to see this artwork, you commit to two hours of polite shuffling. Tales of the queue vary from the hilarious (a few people opted to drink a lot of wine, feeling intoxication enhanced their experience) to the tragic (one person queued for two hours but for fear of missing a bus had to leave prematurely) to the bizarre (after queuing for two hours and standing in a room of dripping water, one girl had to cut her trip short as she really needed to pee). Perhaps that is the legacy that the Rain Room will leave: an “I was there” moment. But what does the future hold for this studio? With such critical acclaim at their feet, we can only expect them to go on to bigger and brighter things. I personally can’t wait to find out. Although next time I might take a camping chair.

Lucy Turner










Birdskulls have smashed straight out of their garage and through your brain. With their rhythmic surf rock bass lines and grunge lyricist front man, Jack Pulman.

explosion between the ears. You may be transported back to the early 90’s, when grunge was thrashing the scene with their easygoing but poetic lyrics.

The band have deep set roots in surf rock culture. Taking inspiration from Smashing Pumpkins and the garage punk/surf rock scene. Rory Marshall, bassist, says influences include the one and only Nirvana, Dinosaur Jr, Sebodah, Wavves, FIDLAR and Weezer.

If you haven’t heard these guys before check out their Soundcloud. Or go to a gig. They’re supporting Yucky Slime at the Buffalo Bar, Islington LND on the 24th January. They are also playing with Metz on the 31st January at the Green Door Store in Brighton.

The fuzz generated by Pulman’s Big Muff guitar pedal is the driving force behind the band. With intense drum fills and lucid bass lines that make for a comfortable

With a single out called Ghost World, released by Art Is Hard Records, and an E.P on the way, these guys are set to change the Garage punk/ surf rock scene for the



better. I for one can’t wait to hear what the future will hold for Birdskulls. The band are also selling some rad merchandise so check out their facebook and Soundcloud.

www.facebook.com/birdskullsband www.soundcloud.com/birdskulls

Benjamin Moosetano












How ambiguously brilliant is She. Oh how her soft, flowing feminine features complement the divine cosmic prints and smoky texture of her attire. She is beyond human in her exaggerated features, such as legs that mimic a spider’s stance, or lips that pout like a full bodied summer rose. So far from the norm, yet here she exists among us. A representation of impossible beauty, Miss Malevolence is all that humanity desires, yet beneath the surface lurks a darkness that devours the pure souls of this world. A peasant to her competition, yet a Queen to the likes of us who stand in awe of her appearance. There is none other like her, or who can imitate her perfection, for her beauty is immortally bound between the guidelines of cultural attire and displayed on the pinnacle of art.

slightly to portray her hunger for vanity. Her feet come to a sharp point of gold, raised twelve inches from the ground defying gravity and sensibility. Her head in the clouds, the sound of applause deafens her so that she becomes oblivious to physical pain. She is lost behind her wall of paint, which masks her true identity. She takes pride in her appearance, yet confidence is her true enemy, for inside she is weekend by the thought of old age and the loss of youth and beauty. Her image is all she has to maintain her dominance in society, as she has no voice in the light. Only in darkness, we hear her malevolent cries of superfluous needs of vanity. She bears no reflection in the mirror of humanity because her soul is blackened with pride.

She draws closer her to her lensed lover, her eyes Sensuously seductive, her smile wins our affection, smoulder lustfully and her breathing deepens with bearing a glimpse at her white teeth. Her eyes, burning pleasure. She takes one large step in hope of intimacy with the desire for attention and she relishes each flash with the artist and falls, not in love, but down the path of light that hits her beaming face. Arms clenched at the of regret as she peers down at her disfigured legs. Now waist, to enhance her slender appeal, her back arched supported on all fours, she begs for forgiveness, as the



artist continues to adorn her with blinding light. Like polluted waterfalls, her pur ple tears are worthless as she sobs at her indiscretion. Only a fool can be truly subdued by her beauty. No doubt she is flawlessness in imagery, but it is not to say she is a real person. Human beings are not perfect, no matter how we may aspire to be, so we look to seek worship in Miss Malevolence in hope she will show us a perfect world. Her powers however, are weekend by the realities of time and its justice. She will abdicate from the throne, and a new Queen will rise from the darkness.

Bertrand Peter Ash


















A Midsummer Night's Dream Sell A door Theatre Company The Light House Poole. 05.02.13 to 06.02.13 www.lighthousepoole.co.uk/ This production from nationally renowned Sell a Door is guaranteed to be dynamic - with music and madness revealing the darker side of this much loved comedy. Sell a Door Theatre Company have developed a reputation for high quality theatre following critically acclaimed tours of Spring Awakening and Lord of the Flies. They launch their 2013 season with a tour of one of Shakespeare’s most beloved comedies - A Midsummer Night's Dream directed by Bryn Holding, the visionary director behind Sell a Door's sell-out London productions of Twelfth Night and The Comedy of Errors. There will be a post show talk after the Tuesday evening performance.

Boscombe Vintage Market Royal Arcade. Bournemouth 02.02.2013 – 03.02.2013 10.00am – 16.00pm Free http://www.boscombevintagemarket.co.uk/ Has been held on the first Saturday of every month for over 2 years, the Royal Arcade in Boscombe plays host to this market of vintage clothes, home wares and gifts plus arts and crafts with a vintage feel. Perfect to find the unique and the abstract.

Moscow City Ballet

The Artist

Swan Lake

ABCinema Pop-Up Event

The Light House Poole

The Pier Theatre, Bournemouth

26.02.13 to 28.02.13



2.00pm show £5 / 7.00PM show £10

Moscow City Ballet is currently at its outstanding artistic best – winning new invitations to perform internationally. Swan Lake is a signature piece of their entire repertoire. The orchestra, choreography, interpretation, beauty and outstanding virtuoso performance win repeatedly rave reviews. Tchaikovsky ‘big story ballets’ are the essence of Russian culture composed, choreographed and premiered in Russia. Seeing performances by the Moscow City dancers never fails to add that magical ingredient of Russian soul to an all round amazing ballet experience.



Arts Bournemouth Cinema presents two special ’popup’ cinema screenings of the multi-award-winning film THE ARTIST (2011). Enjoy a 2pm matinee followed by a tasty cream tea (inclusive) at Bournemouth’s atmospheric (and heated) Pier Theatre; or dress in your best vintage style to the 7pm Pier Theatre show with post-screening live music and dancing from the era (band details coming soon.) til late. Usherettes will welcome you to the theatre.



Rain Room Random International London 04.10.12 to 03.03.13 http://www.barbican.org.uk Random International invites you to experience what it’s like to control the rain. Visitors can choose to simply watch the spectacle or find their way carefully through the rain, putting their trust in the work to the test. More than the technical virtuosity necessary for its success, the piece relies on a sculptural rigour, with the entire Curve transformed by the monumental proportions of this carefully choreographed downpour and the sound of water. Random International are known for their distinctive approach to digital-based contemporary art. Their experimental artworks come alive through audience interaction and staged performance.

Light Show Hayward Gallery, London 30.02.13 to 28.04.13 www.southbankcentre.co.uk "Light Show" will bring together a collection of sculptures and installations that use light to sculpt and shape space, creating evocative and sensory works that operate at the edge of the viewer's perception. Artists in the exhibition include: David Batchelor, Carlos Cruz-Diez, Olafur Eliasson, Dan Flavin, Ceal Floyer, Jenny Holzer, Ann Veronica Janssens, Anthony McCall, François Morellet, Ivan Navarro, Katie Paterson, and Conrad Shawcross.

Boscombe Arts Fair

Kate Maccgwire

Royal Arcade. Bournemouth

Lure Exhibition

24.02.13 and 24.03.13

Gallery All Visual Arts

10.00am – 16.00pm Free




Boscombe Art Fair is a monthly event held in the beautiful Victorian surroundings of the Royal Arcade Boscombe. It's an opportunity for the public to buy affordable art work from some great local and national artists and for artists to sell direct to the public, make contacts and promote themselves and their art work. Held on the last Sunday of each month and running from 10:00 - 16:00hrs, selling original art work and prints by wonderfully talented painters, illustrators, print makers, photographers and sculptors. Live art is encouraged and we think adds to the great atmosphere created by talented artists in a truly gorgeous location.

Kate MccGwire's practice probes the beauty inherent in duality, exploring the play of opposites - at an aesthetic, intellectual and visceral level - that characterises the way we conceive the world. She does this by appealing to our essential duality as human beings, to our senses and our reason, and by drawing on materials capable of embodying a dichotomous way of seeing, feeling and thinking. The finished work has a consistent 'otherness' to it that places it beyond our experience of the world, poised on a threshold between the parameters that define everyday reality.




Ginger-haired Partick

Fresh P r i n c e

Drinks on Me

Experienced Lover

Troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after a few scoops. Seeks attractive, wealthy lady for loan repayments and maybe more.

Mid-twenties Male with boy next door looks, and Fresh Prince of Bel Air casual insolence. Needing a lady to lock this Vice President down.

Heavy drinker, 19, Winton area. Looking for a gorgeous sex addict interested in pints, fags, Glasgow Celtic football club and starting scraps on Old Christchurch Street at three in the morning.

Mother of 3, Grandmother of 2, WLTM male 20s- 30s. I am incredibly experienced in the ways of lovemaking and have always left men wanting more. Including my recently deceased husband Trevor. But now I’m back in the shop window waiting for you to purchase my goods.

Wont You Be Mine... The toughest decision I ever had to make was choosing between soup and fish in a Brighton café in 2007. (I went for the fish, though later regretted my decision when I discovered the cod had been overseasoned). Now however, I’ll have to pick one of you delicious women. The selection procedure will involve a four part interview, along with an aptitude test and multple-choice questionnaire. Apply now for full details.

Sensible Male Would like to meet wild woman to excite the life out of me (89, likes to be referred to as ‘Wing Commander’ in the bedroom).

This is my Sign! Female architecture student, too shy to tell you I like you but I am ready to give you a sign this March. I will be wearing an entire outfit of sky blue. I will have my hair up, I will drop my bag right in front of you, Look up at to your eyes, cough, blink and itch my ear all at the same time. All you have to do is say Yes or No.

My Love Can Be Yours!!

The Moon to your Stars

Widow 22, putting my life back together after the loss of my cat Ernie, WLTM a gentle Male that can fill the desolate hole left. Must enjoy being fed, cleaned, washed and small enough to fit on my lap.

Lady with moon shaped face, log like arms and sausage like fingers. Like to meet similar, easily depicted male for life drawing and maybe more.

Find Real Love and

Come & See

Marry Rich

My Auntie Mable says I’m Handsome, if it wasn’t incestuous and she was 40 years younger, she says she would have a go. So come see what my Auntie sees. White Peruvian male, 18.

Grossly overweight Compliance professional, 42 years old and 23 stone, Gemini, seeks nimble young lady, preferably South American, for tango sessions, candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion.

Disposable Boyfriend Needed for family inheritance claim. Must be easy on the eyes charming and obedient. Will have the luxury of taking me out.


To Much Love to Give Mr Lonely Hearts I am Mr Lonely Hearts, times are hard, life is tough and I need you by my side. Been too long, I’m lonely and I’m not going to hide away any more. I am free, come get me world.


I have so much Love to give, just need somewhere to direct it so I’m not pissing it up a wall. WLTM a similar like minded female romantic who’s desperation has led her to this strange magazine and even stranger Lonely Hearts Column.



Bumf Team


Ashley Peevor - Creative director George Rosen Darrell - Creative Assitant Catherine Hulme - Editor Henry Heffer - Editor Robert Squires - Designer Lewis Allen - Designer Viva Arteaga-Rynn - Marketing Lucy Turner - Writer Benjamin Musitano - Music Critic Bertrand Peter Ash - Fashion Writer Herman Kim - Contributer Vlad Wilfred Tomescu - Contributer Mathew Manso de zuniga - Contributer

Maia Fjord - www.maiafjord.blogspot.co.uk - maiafjord@gmail.com Callum Cochrane - www.calumcochrane.com - calumcochrane14@googlemail.com Marina Todorova - www.marinamuun.com - hello@marinamuun.com Joseph Thomas - www.josephthomas.eu - info@josephthomas.eu Jess Dawes - www.jessrdawesphotography.com Zdravko Dimitrov - www.zdravkodimitrov.co.uk - z.dimitrov92@gmail.com Laura Heather Smith - www.facebook.com/231165070277336 Gita Buga - www.gitabuga.co.uk - info@gitabuga.co.uk Daniel bee - www.danbeedesign.co.uk Hannah Mcintyre - www.hannah-mcintyre-illustration.tumblr.com

Poetry Dan Broadbent Hartley woolf

Special Thanks Bird Skulls & Cristina De Middel

Front Page Lil-Veronica Skoglund - www.lillveronicaskoglund.com - v@lillveronicaskoglund.com

Back Page Chris Gharibi - www.mrchrista.co.uk - christophergharibi@hotmail. co . uk




Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.