The Miley Effect
My 6-year-old daughter’s friend had pulled up “Hannah Montana” on Netflix, and Miley Cyrus was now streaming into my living room in all her pre-teen glory.
“This is how you use celebrities as a positive influence, regardless of the celebrity’s actions – you talk to your kids about what they’re seeing,” says Hoefle.
Power plays The best way to help a child resist celebrity influence is to encourage them to be an active participant in their own life, says Hoelfe. Kids with a strong sense of their own identity won’t be as likely to impersonate celebs. Encourage kids to develop their own style: Allow them to help particulate in choosing their own clothing, hairstyle, and bedroom décor, from a young age. Don’t freak if your teen admires a tattooed celeb and wants a tattoo of his own. “That’s the time to sit down and say, ‘Walk me through this. Convince me that you’re responsible enough to make this choice,’” says Hoelfe. If the answer is “not yet,” help teens see how they can earn more trust and responsibility at home. Making a parental power play – like an outright ban of any and all ink – can alienate teens and give the influential celebrity more sway.
Teens want power, and they are looking for ways to differentiate from their parents, says family therapist Caroline Plummer, LMHC. “Parents need to allow teens to increase their power and decision making in a safe way.” “I can’t stress enough the importance of finding real-world ‘celebrities’ for kids to idolize,” says Hoefle. Spending time with families with girls or boys a few years older than your daughter or son helps build healthy role-model relationships that don’t involve a screen or the airbrushed excesses
of Hollywood. “Find other parents you respect, and tell them you want your kids to be in the company of older kids who can help them learn,” she says. That, I can do. I’m already on the lookout for potential older friends with role-model potential (pre-requisite: must like sparkles). With luck, it will be a while before the next pop star du jour makes her way into my home, and my girls’ hearts. But when it does happen, I’ll be prepared. c
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DULE A TOUR TODA Y SCHE 404-843-8375 550 Mt. Paran Rd., Sandy Springs LeslieRose@StJohnChildren.org www.stjohnchildren.org 18 Atlanta Parent January 2014
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