CLOSING THOUGHTS OBITUARIES – MAY THEIR MEMORIES BE A BLESSING
Oh, Gratitude, Where Art Thou?
MAY 20 ▪ 2016
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hen our daughter, Rachel, became a bat mitzvah, she received lots of wonderful gifts. After the weekend of synagogue services, festive meals and all kinds of celebrations, it was back-to-real-life time. And that meant that, in addition to schoolwork and after-school activities, Rachel had to write thank-you notes. Was Rachel the kind of 12-year-old who relished the opportunity to express gratitude through the written word? What do you think? Every evening for weeks and weeks Rachel worked on those notes, and the ones she wrote were exceptional. I know this is true because 30 years later people still refer to their “maturity” and “personalization.” Ah, yes, I remember the process well, involving the bossy mother (me) and the dutiful daughter (the virtuous celebrant). Rachel really did appreciate the generosity bestowed on her, but writing thank-you notes was hard work. My friend “M” had a cunning solution to the situation. His son, “T,” an otherwise thoroughly delightful young man at the age of 13, was cursed with handwriting so indecipherable that it would take a team of middle school English teachers and several grandmothers to decode it. Not only that, but the fellow couldn’t sit still for more than a minute at a time. In addition, T’s bar mitzvah handlers had mixed up some of the gift cards, making it impossible to match sender with gift. M knew that the likelihood of successful written gratitude was zero, so he devised a clever plan. After several false starts and a lot of internecine drama, T successfully produced a single handwritten message: “Thank you for your thoughtful gift. I appreciate your kindness, and my family and I are very happy you shared our simcha with us.” This was years before people could do their own custom home photocopying, so M brought the single handwritten piece of paper to a print shop and had it sized to fit on T’s personalized cards, and each of the people who gave a gift received a thank-you note that looked exactly like one T would have written himself on his best handwriting day.
Needless to say, his parents did the addressing. Melissa, the college graduate, was given dozens of checks at the party her parents threw in her honor. Checks have the name of the giver on them, so it would have been a slam-dunk for Melissa to accurately identify and
CROSSWORD
By Chana Shapiro cshapiro@atljewishtimes.com
thank the people who contributed to the trip she and her roommate took that summer, right? That was a year ago. Several of my friends and I finally stopped waiting for — not a written note — an email, a phone message, a “thanks for the check” when we bump into her. Some people are hurt. Others are angry. Me? I’m writing this column. Now let me tell you about Larry and Shana. They had a “destination wedding” last summer, and many of the people they invited were unable to attend, but every single one of us sent something to their home in Los Angeles. After a few months, we givers began contacting one another. We hadn’t received any recognition of our gifts, but those of us who track things we mail knew that they had arrived. My cousin, whose generosity (matched by her good manners) is legendary, took matters into her own hands and called the groom’s uncle. He, too, was disappointed in Larry and Shana. He decided to call Larry. “Oh,” Larry said, “I guess you didn’t go on our website after the wedding.” There on the website was a photo of the happy couple sitting in their living room, surrounded by what looked like hundreds of presents and checks. The words “We can’t wait to use all these gifts in our new home” streamed across the bottom of the picture. I made an effort to locate the gift my family had sent, and I’m pretty sure I spotted it. My cousin says she saw hers, but it was upside down. “At least I know they got it,” she said, her expectations of gratitude waning. Mine, alas, already waned. ■
“It’s Showtime!”
By Yoni Glatt, koshercrosswords@gmail.com Difficulty Level: Medium
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ACROSS 1. Show about an Israeli import of the 1930s? 5. Locale of a last stand 11. “And the bush ___ not consumed” (Exodus 3:2) 14. Slurpee alternative with many flavors certified by the OU 15. Gives a public d’var Torah 16. Marx follower? 17. Show about David when he worked for Saul? 19. Magen David Adom letters 20. Natalie Portman’s role in “Goya’s Ghosts” 21. Dolph Schayes in 1948 23. Rare striped kosher animals 26. Hillel and Yirmiyahu (abbr.) 28. Noun suffixes (or an anagram of 20-Across) 29. Judean sound? 30. Sacrificial sound? 31. What many Nazis traded the Alps in for 32. Show that teaches 5-Down when to hit and when to speak? 36. Title group in Elle King’s 2015 hit 37. Anderson who often casts Jason Schwartzman 38. Work by Samuel Bak 39. “Prelude ___ Kiss” (Craig Lucas play) 42. Yeshiva University-based show? 45. C Lanzbom sometimes uses them 48. Capp and Capone 49. What one often does after a blessing 50. Newly nuclear country 51. Israeli director Nesher 52. He famously played 5-Down 54. Pet Einstein lovingly (in “Back to the Future”) 56. Dwelling for Abraham 57. Org. for Dershowitz 58. Joseph’s show about his relationship with Pharaoh?
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Chana’s Corner
www.atlantajewishtimes.com
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Israel of the Golan) 34. Give a heter 35. Theodore Bikel’s rock metal? 39. “And it is a rare thing ___ the king requireth” (Daniel 2:11) 40. Director Preminger 41. Part of the IFA 42. Skye of “Say Anything” 43. High priest with disappointing sons 44. Police in “Casablanca” 45. One might ruin your Shabbat nap every 17 years DOWN 46. Language on many Israeli 1. Ramah or Moshava signs supervisor-to-be, briefly 47. Show about an annual 2. Israeli brother Israeli occurrence on Fifth 3. It comes at the end of Avenue? Shavuot? 4. Like many athletes in Israel 51. Son of Zilpah 52. 1991 Harrison Ford title 5. See 52-Across role 6. Ben Canaan and Gold 53. Lang. on many Israeli 7. Casspi’s team on the signs scoreboard 55. Mark from a Jerusalem 8. Shekels dispenser Post editor 9. Bubbelehs 56. Made like Samson with 10. Comes ___ surprise fox tails (like Billy Joel selling out the 59. Before to Bialik Garden) 60. All Jews, in a sense 11. Show about Haman? 12. Strive to play like Perlman 61. Minority in Israel, with “Jews” 13. Tests given in a 62. Paul Newman in “Cars” Scientology scam 63. Esau feels it for Jacob 18. Verse opening for G-d? 22. Tref sound 23. There are 6.5 million Jews LAST WEEK’S SOLUTION in Israel, ___ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 T R A C Y S C A R (approximately) 14T A B S 15 16 A M A H R A S H A C A P E 24. Three-time 17 18 19 New York mayor 20L I R A 21 Y 22Z H A K 23R A B I N R E V A L I E N L A M P S 25. Sounds 24 25 26 27 Z E A L E S S E N C E while having a 28 29 30 31 32 33 M E C H Z A H S E T L E V good shvitz 34 35 36 37 38 A S A N I R B R A K 26. ___ 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 J E H U D I V E D I C A N HaDerech 46 47 48 49 M A T O T B G U L F 27. Rolled items 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 30. Community 57C H A 58 S H A C H 59A R 60 T E L G E D I L A U G H E D or band 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 31. When Tevye 68A I S L E 69 D I P 70 P 71O T O K W R T E N T O R A H L O F T sings “Tradition” 72 73 74 O N I C E C U R E E D E N 33. Has the 75 76 77 E S S E N E T A L D O N S rights to (like 64. Impersonated (Woody Allen) 65. Roth’s work, compared with Spielberg’s 66. Rabbi Akiva, for much of his life 67. Koufax was one, once 68. Spewing false information about Israel on many college campuses 69. Show about how many times G-d said he’d flood Earth?